The Veteran Issue 5

Barry the builder was going through a house he had just built, with the
woman who owned it. She was telling him what colours to paint each
room. They went into the first room and she said, "This room to be a light
blue." The builder went to the front door and yelled out "Green side up"
As he went back she said the next room was to be red. The builder again
went to the front door and called out "Green side up". Once back with her,
she said "This one to be tan." And again he went to the front door and
yelled "Green side up." The lady, very curious, said "I keep telling you
different colours but you always yell "Green side up”.” "What do you say
that for?" "Oh, don't you worry about that," said the builder, "I've got a
couple of Artillery lads laying the turf out front.
My grandfather took down
23 planes in WWII
He was the worst mechanic
in the RAF
How do you keep a Marine
happy in his old age?
Tell him a joke when he’s
young.
Did you know that all
blonde and Army jokes
are interchangeable?
Nobody tells the British Royal Navy what to do... Except the Irish.
IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: Recommended you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a
collision.
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a
collision.
BRITISH: This is the Captain of the British navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
IRISH: Negative. I say again, you will have to divert YOUR course
BRITISH: This is the aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales! The second largest ship in the
British Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and
numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees North, I
say again, that is 15 degrees North, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the
safety of this ship.
IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.