The veteran Issue 6

Forgive and Forget
A British officer spotted a busker in the London Underground with a sign that
read: "VETERAN SOLDIER OF THE FALKLANDS WAR." The officer
thought, "Poor chap, I was there and it was awful!" Feeling sorry for
a fellow veteran, he took £20 out of his wallet and gave it to the
busker. The officer was then greeted with a hearty: "Gracias,
Señor!"
Super Dooper Paratrooper
MILITARY HUMOUR
We have all
met him
His men would
follow him
anywhere, but
only out of
curiosity.
He is depriving
a village
somewhere of
an idiot
During the Falklands conflict four
paratroopers each from England,
Scotland, Wales and Ireland, were
on a plane about to jump when they
realized there was only one
serviceable parachute.
The Welsh paratrooper downed a
glass of rum, said "For Wales" and
jumped without the parachute.
The Irishman downed a glass of
Jameson's, said "For freedom!" and
jumped without the parachute.
The Scotsman downed a glass of
whiskey, said "For Scotland!" and
threw the Englishman out.
A general and a captain walking
down the street passed a number of
soldiers, and each time one of them
saluted the officers, the captain
saluted back and said, "The same to
you." "Why do you always say that?"
the general asked the captain. "I used
to be a private, too," said the captain,
"and I know just what they are
thinking."
Odds or Evans
A new officer was assigned to a submarine, a
boyhood dream come true. He was trying to
impress a knot of sailors with his expertise on
trim control and surfacing, all taught in 'Sub
School'. One of them cut him off quickly and
said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple. Add the
number of times we dive to the number of
times we surface. Divide that number by two.
If the result doesn't come out even, don't
open the hatch."
A paratrooper on his first jump stares at his
parachute doubtfully. "What should I do if it
doesn't open," he inquires of his Sergeant
who is handing them out.
"Just bring it back, lad," comes the smooth
answer, "and I'll replace it."