Think Like a Monk (Jay Shetty)

tricking us into thinking we’re moving forward when in truth we’re stuck. If I
sold more apples than you did yesterday, but you sold more today, this says
nothing about whether I’m improving as an apple seller. The more we de ne
ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.
We may never completely purge ourselves of envy, jealousy, greed, lust, anger,
pride, and illusion, but that doesn’t mean we should ever stop trying. In Sanskrit,
the word anartha generally means “things not wanted,” and to practice anarthanivritti
is to remove that which is unwanted. We think freedom means being able
to say whatever we want. We think freedom means that we can pursue all our
desires. Real freedom is letting go of things not wanted, the unchecked desires
that lead us to unwanted ends.
Letting go doesn’t mean wiping away negative thoughts, feelings, and ideas
completely. The truth is that these thoughts will always arise—it is what we do
with them that makes the di erence. The neighbor’s barking dog is an
annoyance. It will always interrupt you. The question is how you guide that
response. The key to real freedom is self-awareness.
In your evaluation of your own negativity, keep in mind that even small
actions have consequences. Even when we become more aware of others’
negativity and say, “She’s always complaining,” we ourselves are being negative.
At the ashram, we slept under mosquito nets. Every night, we’d close our nets
and use ashlights to con rm that they were clear of bugs. One morning, I woke
up to discover that a single mosquito had been in my net and I had at least ten
bites. I thought of something the Dalai Lama said, “If you think you are too small
to make a di erence, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Petty, negative thoughts and
words are like mosquitos: Even the smallest ones can rob us of our peace.
Spot, Stop, Swap
Most of us don’t register our negative thoughts, much as I didn’t register that sole
mosquito. To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness,
addressing, and amending. I like to remember this as spot, stop, swap. First, we
become aware of a feeling or issue—we spot it. Then we pause to address what the
feeling is and where it comes from—we stop to consider it. And last, we amend