Huron-Perth Boomers - Spring 2023

OPINION
by Lauralee Giliberti
A new beginning
There is a story about online dating at the age of 60,
but that is not this story. There is also a story about
facing one’s demons as you approach “old age,” and
the role of media and society when it comes to the
“value” of aging women, but that’s not this story
either. This story is about meeting a person and
building a life with them, when there are fewer years
left ahead of us than behind us.
The man I met after the email blitz seemed to
be everything I wanted. Smart, successful, good
looking, capable and the cherry on the cake – he
could fix stuff! I would be lying to say that wasn’t a
big attraction – stereotypes be damned! Plus, as if
that wasn’t enough, he had a really cool job.
But… and isn’t there always a ‘but’... he was going
through a challenging divorce. I was patient because
I wasn’t sure I even wanted a real relationship, which
meant compromise, adjustment, and a negotiation
over everything from what colour of bathroom
towels to buy to where to live in the world.
I liked my independence and he was just getting
a taste of his. So we agreed to just be friends. On
the third “date” over a vegetable curry at a lovely
little pub in Bayfield, we started talking about how
we wanted our old age to look. We compared notes
on desires, dreams and bucket lists. He mentioned
he wanted to take a sailing course and maybe own
a sailboat. I shared that in another lifetime, I had
a sailboat and had also always wanted to take a
sailing course. I agreed to look into a course and,
at that moment, we went from friends to… what…
boyfriend/girlfriend?
What do you call it when two 60-somethings meet
and start the dance of partnership?
End of the new beginning
To say it was an adjustment for us is like saying -28 C
is kinda chilly. It was an adjustment for me because
I had been alone for over 20 years and now I had to
factor this man into my day, my life and the rhythm
of that.
It was a challenge for him because he was coming out
of a 27-year relationship, and to this day we are still
navigating that. After all, we all have our bags and
luggage that we bring to the table. We all have lived
a life, and that life is the story that’s in the luggage,
designer or not.
From our vegetable curry day, we painstakingly built
and grew our new alliance. I bought a sailboat and
we spent hours learning to sail both the boat and our
relationship. Together and apart, push and pull. Ebb
and flow.
Despite the fact that we didn’t set out to get married,
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