Visage – Spring/Summer 2023

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INSIGHTreject to rebirthMy name is Seraphim, I’m 21 and every day I thank God for love andmy life. When I was 14 only seven years ago I could not have writtenthese words. Back then my life seemed like hell, now my life lookspromising, not perfect but going up.II I entered thecare systemwhen I was six,as my mumwent in andout of rehaband my dadrefused to takeresponsibility.Seraphim LuongoI was brought up by my mother whowas at that time, a heroin addict anda prostitute. She had spent years ina violent relationship with my father.Shortly after they met, my father introducedher to heroin. Soon after that heleft her for another woman and startedanother family. My mother struggled tolove and care for me despite her addiction.My earliest memories with her aredesperate; there wasn’t much to eat andI remember that my clothes were dirtyand, yes, I did smell! I witnessed mymum being attacked and at one time wehad nowhere to live, I often slept on thefloor of my aunt’s house.Eventually I entered the care systemwhen I was six, as my mum went in andout of rehab and my dad refused to takeresponsibility. I know it’s called socialcare but it didn’t seem very caring andI remember being really scared on mostdays. I had four placements in one yearand struggled to settle, I just wantedto be loved. Eventually I came to hatemy foster parents – and I had many. Mylengthiest placement was with a lovingfamily in Hemel Hempstead, I was nineyears old. It was there that I found a lovefor books. I attended a good school andhad amazing friends. I would pretendto them that my life was indulgent, liketheirs and I picked up the language ofabundance. I dreamed of one day drivinga car and running my own business. Italked about my dreams like they wereactual but my reality was so different. Iwas a foster child, which meant that noone really cared – I was unwanted. EventuallyI became detached and angry.Most of my foster parents treated mefairly but I always felt like I was additionaland inauthentic. One family useto take me to church and there was thisbible reading about Shadrach, Meshachand Abednego. These guys were in a badplace and their identity was changed;names, religion and foods. I could feel whatthey felt. I hated my father for leaving mymother and despised my mother for beinghelpless; I wanted to be her saviour.After a violent outburst, I managed tosabotage my placement and was sent toLondon; I remember thinking that maybenow I could get closer to my mum – I wasnow twelve years old. They placed me in acare home in east London, at this stage, Iwas considered too aggressive and too ‘old’to be matched with another foster family.A year later my mum died. I was angryand fearful and even more aggressivetowards adults. I spent a year in my room;refusing to come out to eat or socialise. Ididn’t have friends, I spent most days idolisingthe Kardashians and quickly becamea school refuser. Anxiety ruled my day andfear dominated my world.Then I met Ray Lewis and Ms Carol, theleaders of EYLA. I was introduced to Eastsideby the head of social care; he had workedwith Mr Lewis in the past and seemed to beconvinced that, if anyone can help, Eastsidecan. I did not trust adults, and I certainly hadno intention of making it easy for new adultsto access me. What I didn’t know was thatMr Lewis and Ms Murraine were equally wildand would not budge or back away.I began my first day with a list of mydemands, which included: a regular ‘lie in’then a late start, weekly equine lessons,daily McDonalds and loads of attention.What I got was a timetable, tough talk, adaily wake up visit at 7:30am and tons ofwork. It felt like a daily disaster but somethingabout this rigour felt to me like, I hadno choice. Mr Lewis never spoke much, heexplained that he was like Moses comingdown the mountain carrying the commandmentsnot suggestions. Ms Carol was agreat talker but her voice carried weight –either way it was a rock or a hard place.Seven years on my Eastside experience14
SPRING/SUMMER 2023is the reason I possess ambition and drive.Eastside staff taught me how to be organisedand on time. They gave me a dailyroutine and Ms Carol even helped to takecare of my hair.At that time (2016) I walked throughwhat felt like the valley of dry bones(maths, science and English) but I alsomade friends for life and have fond memoriesof being led like a lamb.The few other chapters of my life sinceleaving Eastside would be so different hadI not had the intimate care and unwaveringsupport from Eastside. Eastside managedme. Not just my learning but they helpedme unlearn some pretty awful stuff until inthe end (or middle) I learned to love myself.I now work for a charity who supportgirls in care in need of a big sister; an ear tolisten and a heart that understands.I have had ups and downs since leavingEastside but they never, ever gave up onme and so I don’t give up on myself.II Eastsidemanaged me.Not just mylearning butthey helped meunlearn somepretty awfulstuff until in theend … I learnedto love myself.15
Page 1 and 2: THE MAGAZINE OF THE EASTSIDE YOUNG
Page 3 and 4: SPRING/SUMMER 2023FIRST WORDSINSIDE
Page 5 and 6: SPRING/SUMMER 2023Clockwise from to
Page 7 and 8: SPRING/SUMMER 2023View across the R
Page 9 and 10: SPRING/SUMMER 2023AWARDStop girls s
Page 11 and 12: SPRING/SUMMER 2023SPOTLIGHT ONamir-
Page 13 and 14: SPRING/SUMMER 2023dads and MumsEarl
Page 15: SPRING/SUMMER 2023uk Young Leaders
Page 19 and 20: SPRING/SUMMER 2023Our December 2020
Page 21 and 22: SPRING/SUMMER 2023the wrath of Khan
Page 23 and 24: SPRING/SUMMER 2023FOLLOW UPkeza at
Page 25 and 26: SPRING/SUMMER 2023PHOENIXTHE GENDER
Page 27 and 28: Jeremy sings for his supper atEton

Visage – Spring/Summer 2023

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