The Good Life – July-August 2023

DAD LIFE
Helicopter Parents :
Ground Control to
Major Chill
WRITTEN BY: PAUL HANKEL
AAs a parent, it's natural to want to protect and
nurture our children. However, it's important to
strike a balance between supporting them and
allowing them to develop essential life skills.
In today's world, where helicopter parenting and
excessive coddling have become common practices,
it's crucial to understand the negative consequences
of overprotecting our children. Am I an expert on this
subject? No. But do I have an extensive background
in working with youth that has allowed me to witness
countless cases of coddling? Yep. Am I sometimes
guilty of coddling my child? Oh, absolutely. So, let’s
talk about it. Here are some strategies that I try and
use while raising a miniature version of myself.
Encourage Self-reliance
By avoiding excessive coddling, we empower our
children to become self-reliant individuals. When
we constantly shield them from challenges, we
inadvertently hinder their ability to problem-solve
and adapt to new situations. Does this notion mean
that you should let your child play on train tracks or
be out running the neighborhood at midnight? No.
But, allowing our children to face age-appropriate
obstacles helps them build resilience and learn to rely
on their own abilities. Encouraging self-reliance from
an early age equips them with the skills they'll need to
navigate the complexities of adulthood.
Develop Decision-Making Skills
Coddling children often involves making decisions
for them, whether big or small. However, decisionmaking
is a crucial skill that children need to develop.
By giving our children the opportunity to make
choices and experience the consequences, we teach
them how to evaluate options, think critically, and
take responsibility for their actions. This process
allows them to grow into confident individuals who
can make sound judgments in various aspects of life.
Foster Resilience and Coping Abilities
Life is full of ups and downs, and it's essential for
children to learn how to cope with setbacks and
disappointments. This is never more evident than
now, as we are living through what I call an, “everyone
gets a trophy” era. Our children are being rewarded
for just showing up and, sometimes, for outright
failing. Children need to feel what it’s like to win, but,
more importantly, they need to know how to process
and move on from their losses. Not keeping scores at
games and continually lowering testing standards and
metrics for measuring success are just a few examples
of how we are doing our children a disservice.
Not only is this detrimental, but it also shields them
from failure or adversity and denies them the chance
to develop resilience. By allowing our children to
face challenges and experience occasional failures,
we give them the opportunity to learn from their
mistakes, bounce back, and persevere. These skills
will prove invaluable in navigating the inevitable
obstacles they'll encounter throughout their lives.
Encourage Emotional Maturity
Being an over-protective parent can inadvertently
hinder a child's emotional growth. Children need to
experience pain, loss, failure, and hardship in order to
fully develop. When parents excessively protect their
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