Volume 9 Issue 1

Design by Sarah Smith
the atmosphere they grew up in.
“Unfortunately, most young adults have not
been taught or had the freedom within their home
to be included in setting boundaries, so they often
have little understanding of how to balance all the
new aspects of their life,” Murphy says. “Parents
have always forced the balance instead of teaching
them how to create it.”
There is no better time to begin than now, as
college is the place for young people to grow and
mature into the adults they want to be. Murphy says
that college is an excellent time to learn this skill,
as she believes if young people practice and learn
how to set boundaries with themselves and others,
they end up having more self confidence and self
respect post-graduation because they now have a
voice.
University of Alabama senior Lauren
Lafrades says that learning how to set healthy
boundaries between work, involvement, academics
and social commitments has been one of the
most important things she has learned how
to do in college. As someone who maintains
leadership positions around campus, she
exemplifies how to comfortably and effectively
create healthy boundaries when her worlds overlap.
Segmenting her time and clearly defining the
purpose and intent of interactions or meetings with
others has allowed her to maintain healthy working
relationships, as well as friendships, with those she
works with.
“Knowing how to draw very clear boundaries
between business meetings and hangouts, what
those conversations should look like, and being
intentional with what that time was set for helps to
keep those two worlds separate,” Lafrades says.
She believes that being an effective leader and
maintaining solid boundaries between segments
of her life has aided her in forming legitimate
friendships with those she works with, showing how
setting healthy boundaries does not hinder or harm
relationships but can actually grow them.
Lafrades explains how she maintains clear
boundaries with her time.
“The more that I set healthy boundaries
and devoted myself to what I am passionate about
has earned me respect, in a sense, as people
know that I have a clear focus and can commit to
what I care about,” Lafrades says. “I know that my
time has value, and that what I am doing is adding
value to my life, and reflecting on what I am putting
my energy into helps me to reframe and change
boundaries where it is necessary.”
UA senior Madeline Graves shared similar
advice and opinions, saying she had to learn how to
balance her academic workload as a double major
in English and political science, her social life, and
her duties as the current president of Chi Omega.
“About a month and a half into my
presidency, I realized that I wasn’t prioritizing myself
as a person because I had convinced myself that
the world would stop spinning if I didn’t immediately
handle whatever issue came up or text or email I’d
received,” says Graves. “Now, a boundary that I have
set for myself is that I don’t answer any non-urgent
messages or emails received about Chi Omega
before 8 a.m. or after 8 p.m.”
Like Lafrades, Graves has also had to set
boundaries where her friendships are concerned,
as she is serving in a leadership role that requires
her to be a part of her sorority’s “personnel board”
and has situations where she must be an unbiased
source of discipline and honesty in behavioral
cases. She has also had to learn how to effectively
separate her social life from her presidency,
and sets clear boundaries with members when
attending social events.
“I’ve learned how to say that while I am so
glad that this member feels comfortable talking
to me about whatever the issue or idea may be, it
would be better for us to discuss the topic more
tomorrow or at a later time,” says Graves.
Maintaining these boundaries helps
members to remember that while she is the
president, she is a person too, which has positively
affected her ability to balance all parts of her life.
Setting healthy boundaries is something that
may be daunting, but as evidenced by these three
powerful and accomplished, yet still happy women,
boundaries are crucial for maintaining one’s own
joy and life within the midst of many different
commitments. Boundaries are not something that
takes away fun or enjoyment, rather they provide
it and grow it, sometimes in the most unexpected
ways.
Alice Fall 2023 47