Sunday, November 4, 2012 - The Lafourche Gazette

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12-A Sunday, November 4, 2012 THE LAFOURCHE GAZETTE Surfin’ the is comprised of cute, funny and at times heartwarming stories and photos that are found circulating the internet. Oftentimes there are no known authors of the material. The Lafourche Gazette does not take credit for the writings in this column. We’re publishing it to simply put a smile on our readers’ faces. Anyone wanting to submit something for the column can email it to news@TLGnewspaper.com or drop it off at the office during business hours. The verdict A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Please Vote ROBERT DANOS Son of Harry and Gloria Danos #61 Port Commission Seat I Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.” The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. “But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.” The jury foreman replied: “Oh, we did look, but your client didn’t.” WEIRD & WACKY NEWS Shark falls from sky onto Calif. golf course SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO, Calif. (AP) - Golf club employees in Southern California came to the rescue when a shark dropped out of the sky and flopped around on the 12th tee. San Juan Hills Golf Club operations director Melissa McCormack says a course marshal found the leopard shark Monday afternoon and brought it to the clubhouse. It had puncture wounds where it appeared a bird had snagged it from the Pacific Ocean, about five miles away. They stuck the approximately 2-pound shark into fresh water before somebody remembered it came from the sea, so they got some sea salt from the kitchen and mixed it in. Another employee rushed the shark to the ocean where McCormack says it was very still for a few seconds before twisting around and speeding off. Copyright 2012 The Associated Press Skeleton found when historic Conn. tree uprooted NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) - New Haven police say superstorm Sandy has revealed a skeleton beneath the town green that may have been there since Colonial times. Police spokesman David Hartman says a woman who was with other bystanders looking at a fallen oak tree called police Tuesday after she saw bones in the upturned roots. Hartman says the tree was planted on the green in 1909 on the 100th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln’s birth. He says the remains likely belong to one of thousands of people buried there in Colonial times. The remains will be evaluated by the state medical examiner. Katie Carbo, who called police, tells the New Haven Independent she saw something in the tree roots, and found the bones when she removed some dirt. She says the skeleton “should be given a proper burial.” Copyright 2012 The Associated Press November is National IN MY TWO TERMS IN OFFICE: - $60 million in Port Fourchon funding for port infrastructure improvements - $48 million in capital with no debt - Reduced insurance the port pays by 10% - Annual budget of $85 million - Over $20 million in improvements to Leonard Miller Jr. South Lafourche Airport - Continuing the fight for public access to Fourchon Beach - A voice for mariners and fishermen For continued success of our port … Re-elect JIMMY “T-JIM” LAFONT Port Commission • Seat C • #57 School bus, truck crash in Pa. without drivers BEAVER FALLS, Pa. (AP) - Police don’t plan to cite the drivers of a truck and school bus which crashed in western Pennsylvania. But only because neither vehicle had a driver when they wrecked. Police in Patterson Township tell the Beaver County Times (http://bit.ly/UBPOwQ) the incident happened just before 10 a.m. Tuesday when the parked bus began to roll down a hill. Police aren’t sure why that happened, because the driver had engaged the parking brake. The bus rear-ended a parked truck, which also began rolling down the hill alongside the bus, until the truck flipped onto its side. The bus continued on, shearing off one utility pole and hitting another before rolling to a stop a few feet from the porch of a home. Nobody was hurt. Patterson Township is about 30 miles northwest of Pittsburgh. Information from: Beaver County Times, http://www.timesonline.com/ Copyright 2012 The Associated Press Foul-mouthed parrot seeks new home in UK LONDON (AP) - Everyone has a few faults. In Beaky’s case, he swears (a lot) and he bites. Not good qualities for a parrot seeking a new home. Still, honesty is the best policy, so the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has decided to come clean about his shortcomings. Supervisor Angelina Lusher said Wednesday that anyone who takes Beaky in will have to put up with some rude language. The agency also says he tends to bite people until he bonds with them. Beaky is a chattering lory who will only be given to new owners with experience handling exotic birds. Lusher says Beaky needs interaction with people or other birds to have a fulfilling life. Copyright 2012 The Associated Press Halloween-colored lobster caught off Mass. coast BOSTON (AP) - A Massachusetts fisherman has caught a creepy-looking lobster that’s colored to match Halloween. The New England Aquarium says the 1-pound female lobster has an orange side and a black side, with the colors split perfectly down the middle. Marine officials say such coloration is estimated to occur once in every 50 million lobsters. The fisherman who caught the seasonally colored crustacean in a trap last week is from Beverly, a seaside community 20 miles northeast of Boston. The rare lobster is known as a split. Aquarium officials said Wednesday splits have been caught in Maine, Rhode Island and Nova Scotia in the last 10 years. Pictured are just some of the dogs looking to be adopted/rescued from the Lafourche Parish Animal Shelter. Clockwise from left: # 12-1040D female Pit mix about 1 year of age # 12-1049D female Lab mix about 2 years of age # 12-1054D male Schnauzer/Poodle mix about 2-3 years of age # 12-1056D male Mastiff/Lab mix named Brass about 2 years of age (owner surrender due to him being too big) # 12-1057D male Lab mix about 6 months of age # 12-1058D female Terrier mix about 6 months of age If interested in these, or the many other animals looking for caring homes, contact the Animal Shelter, located at 934 Hwy. 3185, Thibodaux, or call 985-446-3532. Re-Elect Harris “Chuckie” Cheramie, Jr. Greater Lafourche Port Commission Seat “A” # 52
SPORTS Saints learn how opposing defenses must’ve felt METAIRIE, La. (AP) - The New Orleans Saints are learning how opposing defenses must’ve felt the past few years. Picked apart. Run over. Beaten down. The Saints’ defense is on pace for a truly historic season, and that’s not a good thing. They have already become the first team since at least 1950, maybe ever, to give up more than 400 yards in seven straight games. On average, they’ve surrendered 50 yards more per game than the NFL’s next-worst team. If this keeps up, the defending NFC South champions will obliterate the record for most yards allowed in a season. Not surprisingly, the Saints (2-5) are in a truly desperate state heading into Monday night’s game against Philadelphia (3-4), knowing they must turn things around, and quickly, if they want to have a shot at a fourth straight playoff appearance. “It’s very frustrating,” linebacker Scott Shanle said Thursday. “Everybody is trying to put their finger on what’s wrong. How can we change it so we’re more effective? You get millions of different people with millions of different suggestions, whether it be teammates, coaches, family, friends. Everybody thinks they have the answer.” But don’t expect a major overhaul. According to interim coach Joe Vitt, there’s only so much the team can do to turn things around, and it’s not exactly eye-catching stuff. Better tackling. Improved fundamentals. More awareness of what the other team is trying to do. “If you have dramatic change, radical change, that’s when the panic sets in,” Vitt said. “The players can smell the match burning before the match is ever lit. We’ve just got to play better, coach better, execute better.” Those sort of comments can’t be of much solace to a fan base that already was reeling from the bounty scandal that cost former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams his job and re- PAUL NEWBERRY AP National Writer sulted in head coach Sean Payton being suspended for the entire year. Williams was replaced by Steve Spagnuolo, who has caught much of the blame for what’s gone wrong this season. And, boy, have things gone wrong. In the very first game, rookie Robert Griffin III and the Washington Redskins ran wild in the Superdome, shredding the Saints for 459 yards in a 40-32 upset that was an ominous sign of what was to come. The yards just kept on coming. Carolina and Kansas City won their only games against New Orleans, ripping off 463 and 510 respectively. Green Bay put up 421, San Diego 427. Tampa Bay, hardly an offensive juggernaut, tore through the Saints for 513. Last Sunday night, Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos looked like they were going against a scout team, piling up 530 yards in 34-14 blowout. That averages out to 474.7 yards per game, which is 50 yards more than the next-worst team on the list, the Buffalo Bills (424.6). The Saints are on pace to give up 7,595 yards for the season, which would easily take down the record of 6,793 set way back in 1981 by the Colts (when they were still in Baltimore). STATS LLC, which has records dating back to 1950, says this is worst seven-game stretch that it can verify. Given the limited state of offenses before then, it’s highly likely that no team in NFL history has ever been this bad. All over the Big Easy, the Saints faithful are grumbling about Spagnuolo’s scheme, which abandoned much of the blitzing that Williams did with such abandon, and berating a group that did its part the last three years in support of Drew Brees and a recordsetting offense. Sure, Brees was the star of the show, running up and down the field with opponents in futile pursuit, but there’s no way the Saints go 37-11 during that span and win a Super Bowl championship without stopping the other team every now and then. Just look what’s happening now. Brees and the Saints know they have to put up a bunch of points to have any chance of winning, and when the offense stumbles, as it did in Denver, things can get downright ugly. “You get what you deserve,” linebacker Jonathan Casillas said, referring to the criticism that has reached a fever pitch. “It’s going to keep coming if we don’t improve. We are all are very prideful guys in here. We all want to do better. We don’t want to be playing as bad as we’re playing, both statistically and out there on the field.” Brees and his offensive teammates are careful not to criticize the defense, always turning those sort of questions to look at their own shortcomings. The offense is certainly not without its faults, most notably an NFL-worst running game. “Our job on offense is to score one more point than them,” Brees said. “We’ve won games around here 14-9. We’ve won games 40-to-30-something. The way I look at it is we’re a 30-to-40-a-game offense. Regardless of what’s happening on the defensive side of the ball ... we have the attitude on offense that we should score each time we get the ball. If we don’t, it’s not good enough.” Certainly not the way the defense is playing now. Notes: The Saints resigned WR Greg Camarillo, who has been on and off the roster all season. They cleared a spot by waiving TE Daniel Graham, who missed last week’s game with an injured left knee. RB Darren Sproles (hand) did not practice Thursday. WR Courtney Roby (left shoulder) was also out. Online: http://pro32.ap.org/poll and http://twitter.com/AP_NFL Follow Paul Newberry on Twitter at www.twitter.com/pnewberry1963 Copyright 2012 The Associated Press Thank You For Your Support JOEY BOUZIGA MAYOR OF GOLDEN MEADOW #63 Proven Leadership Sunday, November 4, 2012 THE LAFOURCHE GAZETTE 13-A Tulane’s new football home will be Yulman Stadium NEW ORLEANS (AP) - Tulane says its new campus football facility will be known as Yulman Stadium. Richard Yulman is the owner of the mattress manufacturing company Serta International and a member of the Tulane board. He and his wife, Janet, donated $15 million toward construction of the $55 million stadium. The 25,000-seat facility is scheduled to open in 2014. The stadium will also carry the name of New Or- Please Go Out and Vote #63 JOEY BOUZIGA MAYOR OF GOLDEN MEADOW November 6 MY VISIONS FOR THE FUTURE leans Saints owner Tom Benson and his wife, Gayle, who donated $7.5 million. The playing surface will be known as Benson Field. The Green Wave currently plays downtown at the mammoth Superdome, which is far too large for a Conference USA program that has struggled for wins and fan support. The school hopes that moving to an intimate stadium on campus will improve its fortunes. Copyright 2012 The Associated Press GOLDIN METALS, INC. The One – Stop Shop For All Your Building Needs Prices Starting at 4400 Peters Rd. • Harvey, LA 99 ¢ /lf LOWEST PRICES HIGHEST QUALITY GUARANTEED 877-361-3622 12440 Seaway Rd • Gulfport, MS 228-896-6216 www.goldinmetals.com Financing Available! Custom Design Trim, Purlins, Accessories, Insulation, Gutter Systems, and Doors • Striving to keep Golden Meadow one of the cleanest towns in Louisiana • Funding has already been approved for Sewer Phase III and Phase IV. Applications have been submitted for additional phases to complete the sewer throughout the town • Funding has already been approved for Seawall Phase II and Phase III with additional funds being requested to complete seawall re-enforcements throughout the town • To promote economic growth by working closely with South Central Planning and Development in a quest to offer low interest loans to new businesses • To convince new businesses to relocate to Golden Meadow for the re-vitalization of our community and the rehabilitation of our landmark buildings • To continue with sidewalk repairs • To improve drainage, including the dredging of the drainage reservoir • The completion of the sale of the Natural Gas System • To construct an open sided pavilion with lighting over the basketball court (2013) • To add additional picnic areas in Oakridge Park • To install new playground equipment in Oakridge Park, including a section for children with disabilities (2013) • As always, an open door policy to myself and to my staff • To work with local, state, and federal officials to insure that Golden Meadow’s needs are met, even when it means traveling to Baton Rouge or Washington, D.C. • To continue to offer services for both Senior Citizens and Youth Groups of Golden Meadow • To lead Golden Meadow forward with honesty and integrity
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