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Shrine Skit - The Sheridan Press

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Comics THE<br />

SHERIDAN <strong>Press</strong> Friday,<br />

FOR BETTER or FOR WORSE® by Lynn Johnston<br />

MARY WORTH by Karen Moy and Joe Giella<br />

BORN LOSER® by Art and Chip Sansom<br />

GARFIELD by Jim Davis<br />

FRANK & ERNEST® by Bob Thaves<br />

REX MORGAN, M.D. by Woody Wilson and Tony DiPreta<br />

ZITS® by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman<br />

DILBERT by S. Adams<br />

ALLEY OOP® by Dave Graue and Jack Bender<br />

Dr. Gott Dr. Peter Gott<br />

DEAR DR. GOTT: A young man in my grandson's<br />

dorm has extraordinary energy and stamina. He is also a<br />

very excellent student and is truly a very nice person.<br />

When I asked him how he maintains such energy and<br />

good health, he replied that his<br />

bedtime routine has never varied<br />

since he was 8 years old and is as<br />

follows: He showers and drinks<br />

his urine while it is fresh and<br />

warm and then brushes his teeth<br />

with peroxide and baking soda<br />

and never sleeps more than four<br />

hours a night.<br />

He was very serious and his<br />

roommates all verified that they<br />

saw him go through this ritual<br />

many times. He said this is the<br />

time that the body has utilized all<br />

of the nutrients that it needs and the left over nutrients<br />

are present for "recycling" without being wasted. My<br />

question is: Can someone practice this without getting<br />

ill or doing harm to himself or herself? Have you ever<br />

heard of this practice before?<br />

DEAR READER: Your grandson's dorm-mate is<br />

doing potential harm to himself as well as indulging in<br />

an unattractive practice. <strong>The</strong> kidneys extract waste<br />

products and excrete them in the urine. This is not a<br />

question of nutrients. <strong>The</strong> waste need not be "recycled"<br />

any more than fecal waste needs to be eaten.<br />

Given his proclivity, I'd be surprised if the young<br />

man in question has an especially active social life. I<br />

cannot imagine a cute co-ed standing next to the man<br />

while he finishes off a 3-ounce shot of urine. "Hi, hon-<br />

DEAR READERS: Seven years<br />

ago, I told you about a new program<br />

called the Legacy Project that had<br />

been created to honor American<br />

veterans by preserving their<br />

wartime letters. I asked you to send<br />

a photocopy of a favorite war letter<br />

that you or a loved one had written.<br />

<strong>The</strong> response was overwhelming.<br />

Since its inception in 1998, the<br />

Legacy Project has received an estimated<br />

75,000 never-before-seen letters<br />

from every conflict in our<br />

nation's history -- including e-mails<br />

from Iraq and Afghanistan.<br />

I thought you'd like to know that<br />

the Legacy Project has just<br />

announced that the entire collection<br />

will be donated to the prestigious<br />

Gilder Lehrman Institute in New<br />

York City, where the letters will be<br />

archived for posterity.<br />

In honor of Veterans Day, I will<br />

share with you one of the letters<br />

from the collection. It was handwritten<br />

by a young soldier named<br />

Justin Merhoff, who currently<br />

serves in the U.S. Army and will<br />

soon be<br />

deployed to<br />

Afghanistan.<br />

It was<br />

addressed to<br />

his grandfather,<br />

Hugh<br />

Merhoff:<br />

" D e a r<br />

Gramps: I<br />

want to write<br />

you and let<br />

you know<br />

what I am doing these days. I found<br />

out that my unit was responsible for<br />

manning five of the 22 funeral honors<br />

teams that represent the 10th<br />

Mountain Division.<br />

"Since I've never been to a<br />

funeral before, I did not know what<br />

C3<br />

November 11, 2005<br />

ey! Would you like some?"<br />

I expect she'd be out of there in the count of two.<br />

I also question his goal of four hours of sleep a<br />

night. Many scientific studies have linked behavioral<br />

and cognitive problems to sleep deprivation. Most<br />

adults need at least six (and preferably eight) hours of<br />

sleep per 24 hours.<br />

I suspect that your grandson's dorm-mate is a bright,<br />

inquisitive, competitive and charming young man,<br />

despite his bizarre practices. But I honestly believe that<br />

his behavioral aberrances will not stand him in good<br />

stead. Please follow up with me if he decides to run for<br />

President.<br />

DEAR DR. GOTT: I got head lice when I was working<br />

as a caregiver. I didn't find out about it for three<br />

months, because it was the first time I had ever had lice.<br />

I used shampoo, gel and powder. I washed everything<br />

with the products as well, and often. I can't get rid of<br />

them. Are there some pills I can take for it? After<br />

spending $1,000 for shampoo, gels, spray, powder,<br />

shaving my head, bagging mattresses and moving three<br />

times, nothing has worked. This has gone on for two<br />

years now. Can you please help?<br />

DEAR READER: Head lice are ordinarily destroyed<br />

by products, such as Nix. Continued infestation usually<br />

results from repeated exposure to the lice.<br />

If you have reached the end of your rope, I urge you<br />

to see a dermatologist for specific advice.<br />

Doctor Gott is a practicing physician and the author<br />

of the new book "Live Longer, Live Better: Taking<br />

Care of Your Health" (Quill Driver Books,<br />

www.quilldriverbooks.com).<br />

Dear Abby Pauline Phillips and Jeanne Phillips<br />

to expect. <strong>The</strong>re were times that I<br />

had to try not to cry after seeing the<br />

family go through the turmoil that<br />

death brings. <strong>The</strong>se emotions were<br />

new to me and were hard to take at<br />

first. What really got me was that<br />

there were guys who were not U.S.<br />

citizens but were fighting for our<br />

country. I might never have met<br />

these soldiers, but they are all my<br />

brothers and sisters in arms. We<br />

will forever, even in death, be<br />

bound to each other by our service<br />

to our country.<br />

"This whole experience has<br />

helped me better understand what<br />

happened during World War II,<br />

Korea and Vietnam, and the sacrifices<br />

made by those who served<br />

honorably -- and by their families. I<br />

know that you say you do not consider<br />

yourself a veteran because you<br />

were drafted and did not see action.<br />

You used the time you served to<br />

your advantage and became a doctor.<br />

You saved countless lives. You<br />

are the reason I am in the Army<br />

today. You instilled in me the values<br />

that you learned during your<br />

service, and it has made me a better<br />

soldier. Most important, it has made<br />

me a better person. -- Love, Justin"<br />

READERS: If you would like to<br />

read more letters like this one, and<br />

learn more about the Legacy<br />

Project, please visit its Web site at<br />

www.WarLetters.com.<br />

DEAR ABBY: A long time ago<br />

-- many years, for sure -- you had a<br />

definition of "maturity" that I kept<br />

and liked a lot. I can't find it. Can<br />

you dig it up, please? -- MOTHER<br />

IN OSCEOLA, ARK.<br />

DEAR MOTHER: Consider it<br />

dug. It was penned by my mother:<br />

This is maturity: To be able to<br />

stick with a job until it's finished; to<br />

do one's duty without being supervised;<br />

to be able to carry money<br />

without spending it; and to be able<br />

to bear an injustice without wanting<br />

to get even.<br />

Dear Abby is written by Abigail<br />

Van Buren, also known as Jeanne<br />

Phillips, and was founded by her<br />

mother, Pauline Phillips. Write<br />

Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com<br />

or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles,<br />

CA 90069.<br />

To receive a collection of Abby's<br />

most memorable -- and most frequently<br />

requested -- poems and<br />

essays, send a business-sized, selfaddressed<br />

envelope, plus check or<br />

money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to:<br />

Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O.<br />

Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-<br />

0447. (Postage is included in the<br />

price.)<br />

Miss Your Paper?<br />

Call 672-2431<br />

Between 5:30-6:30 p.m.<br />

Monday-Friday<br />

or between 7:45-9 a.m.<br />

on Saturdays

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