ERICA EHM Q&AWITH - The MOMpreneur

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Discover Kama Sutra “There is something timeless and enduring about this and the other classic Eastern sex manuals, giving them a prestige more modern sex books do not possess.” - Anne Hooper, Kama Sutra for the 21st Century Lovers id you know the Kama Sutra was written by a celibate scholar? Or that the Kama Sutra revolves around a man’s pleasure? Or that only about 20% of the book is about sexual positioning? It’s interesting that most people know about Kama Sutra and yet they don’t really know what it is about. After being with the same partner for a number of years, many couples are desperately curious about how to spice up their sex life. Stuck for options, they secretly tiptoe down the “sex” section of the bookstore to get a peek at the Kama Sutra nudie pictures and acrobatic sexual positions. Titillated, they buy the book, only to have it sit untouched and lonesome in their nightstand drawer for ever more. Unfortunately, what they failed to understand is that the Kama Sutra is not a sex-quick-fix; rather, it’s a comprehensive way of looking at their sexuality. As such, it has remained under a mystical Eastern shroud since it first hit pop-culture in the early 1980s. Truthfully, the Kama Sutra isn’t all that complicated and it’s a great way for couples to keep their sex fun and fresh over the long term. So what is Kama Sutra? It was meant as a pillow book. Whereas our Western culture used to believe in not talking about sex and leaving kids ignorant until their wedding day, Eastern culture had the opposite viewpoint. When a young person became engaged, they were given a “pillow book”, which was their technical guide on how to have sex. Vatsyayana happened to create the world’s most famous pillow book. 22 The Mompreneur • September 2007 READ ABOUT SEX by Dr. Trina Read Tradition states that Vatsyayana was a celibate scholar who lived sometime around the 4th century AD. He did not write the Kama Sutra per se; rather, he was a compiler and editor of all the information that existed during the very rich Gupta period. Interestingly, Vatsyayana believed that sex itself was not wrong, but doing it frivolously was sinful. “Kama” literally means desire and “Sutra” signifies a thread or a thread of discourses. While most of us believe the Kama Sutra is all about sexual positions, approximately 80% of the book gives insights on how to make love a divine union, how to act like a responsible citizen, how to handle your household, etc. It’s a philosophical discourse and a marriage manual to troubleshoot all the sticky subjects a young man or young woman will face in their pending marriage. And it’s brilliant, really. And then there are the infamous 64 positions which have launched hundreds (maybe thousands) of books, videos and websites. Vatsyayana believed there were eight ways to make love, multiplied by eight positions – a veritable smorgasbord of sex. What many people don’t realize is that the Kama Sutra’s focus is to give the man the maximum amount of sexual pleasure. Eastern culture believed that, in order for the man to get the maximum amount of gratification, he first had to bring the woman to full arousal. Why? The more sexual energy she had, the more likely it was her energy would cross over to give him a bigger, better orgasm. What does that translate to? Our quickly-becomes-boring Western get-on, get-in,
Our quickly-becomes-boring Western get-on, get-in, get-off type of sex cannot begin to rival the sex described in the Kama Sutra because the latter is about the entire sexual experience. get-off type of sex cannot begin to rival the sex described in the Kama Sutra because the latter is about the entire sexual experience. Kama Sutra sex has a beginning, middle and end – instead of just focusing on the middle, like Western sex does. First, the Kama Sutra gives instructions on how to prepare yourself and your environment for lovemaking. It then talks about multiple ways to have foreplay in order to “energize” the woman (yeah!). It then shows many different options for positions. The possible combinations are endless, enabling you to mix sex up each and every time. You may be asking, “If Kama Sutra sex is so great, why aren’t more people jumping on the band wagon?” Well, if you want to be authentic, you read Richard Burton’s original translated version of Vatsyayana’s work – and it is deadly boring. Did I mention it’s also complicated? He talks about yonis and bulls and other euphemisms that are unfamiliar to our Western sensibilities. It’s intimidating and off-putting for the average couple. Luckily, Anne Hooper came out with Kama Sutra for 21 st Century Lovers. It’s the best version I’ve seen on the store shelf because it is written in understandable language and the photos are superb. Or if you want to be more authentic, Deepak Chopra is trying to cash in on his name with his own beautiful version of Kama Sutra. If you’ve done the math, then yes, Kama Sutra takes more bedroom work. Time-starved couples look at it, roll their eyes and say, “No thanks.” Please remember though, good sex gives you and your relationship a much-needed injection of energy. The 10 or 15 minutes of extra time required will take your sex from blah to bravo. MP Sexologist, Dr. Trina E. Read is a national newspaper columnist,magazine columnist and international speaker. Go to Dr. Trina’s website, www. trinaread.com to sign up for your weekly audio T-Sex Tip, or email your comments to drtrina@ trinaread.com.
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