The New York Times Magazine, Sunday, August 22 - Unauthorized ...

The Outsiders
girls represent "femininity," the perceived threat to conventional masculinity, the
mix of which leaves boys so confused these days. The fear of feminizing boys is
embedded in the hierarchy of the social cliques: winner-loser, popular-outcast,
boy-girl. "This fear of sissifying boys," says Olga Silverstein, author of "The
Courage to Raise Good Men," "I think it's going to be the last prejudice to go."
he danger signs are everywhere, but only if you want to see. Banning
trench coats, installing metal detectors and security guards -- the quick-fix
solutions to the problem of seemingly rampant boy violence -- "becomes a
weird kind of McCarthyism," says Russell Novotny, a 1999 ConVal graduate.
"The only way to get kids not to hurt each other is to get kids not to want to hurt
each other," a process he compares to a road. "It's the whole little-step thing.
You take a little step and suddenly you are in the woods. How did I get here? We
are so far into the woods. For every mile you walk, you have to walk a mile
back. You can't look too far ahead or you trip over what's in front of you." Or
you look at what's in front of you, a boy like J., and you don't really see him.
J., who doesn't want his name to be used, ranks as a loser. He finds temporary
refuge with the burnouts, but his precarious welcome depends upon their mood
and whether or not he has weed. His greatest flaw seems to be his willingness to
try anything to fit in.
"That kid does whatever you tell him to do," says Josh Guide, a classmate. Past
instructions are rumored to include wading knee-high in a running brook, with
his sneakers and socks on, fetching sticks. He doesn't fight back when people
shake him down for money. He claims to get high when a classmate sells him
oregano with chives. He falls off his bicycle when the other boys are done using
it and ignores the bleeding, which, during a game of basketball, stains another
boy's new Tommy Hilfiger shirt.
"Now I have AIDS," the boy says, disgusted. J.'s distress is so apparent that the
boy says, "I'm kidding," but his hostility is clear. This particular afternoon, J.,
who has ragged black hair and a crumpling smile, opens his mouth as if to speak,
but doesn't. He saves his mouth for his teachers.
The week after the shootings in Littleton, Colo., ConVal High School held an
assembly about school safety. J. recounts what happened in his class next period.
"I said, 'I wish those kids would come over here and blow away the teachers,"'
especially an assistant principal, with whom J. had a long history. J. says, "I am
always in trouble, every day, for my attitude."
According to J., the classroom teacher said, "I'm kind of concerned about you."
"Nothing to be concerned about," J. replied. "Everyone hates him anyway."
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