'topless' feast for the 'Eyes'

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A wake-up call on dangers of gambling? The local papers didn't do much wlth the report of the NatIonal GamblIng Impact Study CommlsslOn, but it did make some important recommendatIOns. The commission members' reactIOns to the report, however, depended on whether they were they represented gammg mterests or those opposed to gambhng Among the most interestmg recommendations were-' • Impose a moratorium on gambling expansIOn to allow "tates tIme to assess Robert G. Edgar Pubhsher Robert B. Edgar Founder and Pu6bsher (1940-1979) Grosse Point~ N~ws Vol. 60, No. 25, June 24,1999, Page 6A ;: ': " ~~r~~'"" .} ~
When your 'what its' and 'yeah, buts' turn positive - you .win "If I start gettmg really weIrd, really crazy, whlle you're here, It's because of the tnal," my fnend Franme's VOicecame over the long distance lme from San FranClsco She sounded fnghtened "I get real nervous and have an anXlety attack Just thmkmg about It and can't do anythmg about It" My first Impulse was to say "FranDle, you can do every. ' tlung about the anXlety now,~ but I didn't Even though I beheve 10,000 percent that we can manage our thoughts and energy, I didn't feel hke Franme needed to be told by me what to do FranDle was talkmg about a VISitI was plannIng that would COinCIdeWlth a court date she had, a court date SIX weeks from now Through no fault of her own, GraB Pojnt~ N~ws she'd been mJured m a plane accident that caused her longterm pam and, finally, surgery The physical pam was compounded by emotIOnal terror from lawyers, depOSItions and accusatIOns, all attackmg Franme, saymg she was at fault Right' As If It were Franme, who from seat 34A, slammed on the brakes of the Jet wrole taxung on the runway Thmkmg of the best way to be Supportive, I said, "Franme, I understand completely what you're saYIng and feehng, and appreciate very much your concern about me Don't worry, 111 be Just fine " She was clearly stressed "Franme, do you tlunk you might be afraid because you might not get what you want?" I asked "No," she answered qUickly, / ~ ,At; P¥- /,q" /rA' .' hd ~V , " # kite is tJOketndGod t!~itJ ,,' !&.. "It'S not that It's Just that the gentleman for the alrlme, a young attorney, said some real hurtful thIngs" "It sounds hke you're takIng what he said personal" "Well, It IS,"she answered I explaIned that, for me, It'Sa personal attack If I choose to allow It It ISnot personal, however, If I chose to beheve It'S Just another attorney saYIng what he's got to say to wm hIS case, save hiS chents' money Bard had it right 400 years ago Having recently enjoyed the Canadian version of "West Side ' Sto~ m Stratford, my mmd " went back to my Bronx childhood and awareness of gang wars ("rumbles") They were rare, but they were scary Nobody seemed to ever get lolled m those days, but people did get hurt There was no apparent way to prevent them. As young boys m an Idealls- bc New York pubhc school, we were taught tolerance and the evils of preJumce These prinCiples were part of the "melting pot, " where we were all Amencans, first and foremost, ChnstIans and Jews secondarily At the tIme, there were no blacks or HispaniCs 10 our neIghborhood, but racial preJudice was ublqwtous Our pnncipal was a large woman Wlth a boom1OgvOiceand she mSlsted that we be CIVIlto each other She personally would deal With any pupil caught thrOWIng a snowball . DeSPite what the pnnClpal s81d at assembly, boys were fightmg, sometImes over turf, somehmes Just to exert dominance and power There were gIrls who would go Wlth the most aggreSSIve males, Just hke In the rest of the arumal kmgdom And there were boys who Simply wanted sex for pleasure and feehngs of power These behaVIors were Dal'Wlman - sUTVlvalof the fittest, reproductIOn of the dommant At first, I thought "West SIde Sto~ was more VIolent and tragic than "Romeo and Juhet," but upon reflectIOn, the same kl1hngBhappened Tony killed Mana's brother (aCCIdentally, after trymg to stop a rumbie), after 'Nardo kIlled Tony's best mend, also Wlth a kmfe Then Mana's Intended performed a gang revenge by kllhng Tony, thiS time WIth a pistol The 1957 "West Side Story" brought a gun Into the Shakespearean drama, which may have proved to be a prophetIc symbol [n Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juhet," there were bloody and fatal sword fights between the ~9Ung men of the Capulet /"'/ // / and Montague famlhes, because of an age-old feud It was all the pnnce of the Clty could do to maintam peace In Jerome Robbin's "West Side Story,~ the talk of weapons went from bats and rubber hoses to bre-Irons and kruves Tony,m love and under the mfluence of hIgher aspIratIons, suggested "skin," mean- 109 fists, so no one would get badly hurt In the mtervemng 400 years between the two plays, all of SOCIety'sattempts to moderate such conflIcts have failed, lead. mg to tragIc deaths of young people over the centunes We have not yet found a way to get some adolescent boys to moderate theIr behaVIor ThIS analYSIS bnngs US to Columbme High School and Littleton They were not about famdy feuds or gang wars. What we have now are person. al vendettas camed out by mentally disturbed lugh school boys In real hfe, there were no gang leaders smgIng, "play It cool, boy" at the recent high school shootmgs One can only guess how many potential shootmgs were actually avert. ed by teenage leaders who exercised some reason1Og power and exerted control The t.lJrust of my reahzatIon comes as rather a shock - that teenage boys have been out of control for millennia The anCient Greeks and Romans decned the Wlldness and ura. tlOnahty of youth, seemg It as regressIve, pnmltlve and unc1V1hzed (What's the world commg to?) Shakespeare's play pomts out clearly that no matter what the proscnptlOns - coupled WIth threats - VOicedby the , and help them aVOIdresponslblhty A key tool used by attorneys m sItuation!> hke thiS IS to Imply, sugge!>t, even flat out accuse Why not Just say, "Shame on you! You bad personl" Glmme a break GIVe yourself a break Today, I absolutely refuse to allow anyone to shame me, blame me, use me, In their attempt to aVOId acceptmg The surprise? Followmg speeches hononng those present and an equal number who were unable to attend, School Supenntendent Suzanne Klein's secretary/receptlODlst Denise Stamatakis stood up and wowed the audience Wlth her sung renditIon of "May YouAlways " After her secretanal dutIes are over, the talented Ms Starnatakis usually slOgs as Demse Stevens for the Mel Stander Orchestra "The song IS an old McGUIre sisters favonte from the '50s," says Demse Making light of a serious subject In their quest to serve and protect, nothmg's too good for Park pubhc safety officers That 10eludes the latest m flashhght technology being Installed m Park patrol cars, the Black Kmght Senes M.ll Pehcan brand rechargeable profeSSIOnalflashlIght Boastmg a super-brIght "prefocused Xenon beam," "hfetlme pressure SWItch"and "rubber sure-gnp sheath," the profeSSIOnal-grade hght looks and remedial action taken Dr Bloom IS clInical aSSOCI' ate professor, department of psychiatry, Wayne State UnIVersity School of MediCine He IS a rrwmbcr of the American Academy of PsychoanalysIs and on the editorial board of the Wayne County Medical Society He welcomes comments and questions at hIS e.mall address vbloom@compu.~erve com and ViSitS to hiS webSite www fac totem com / vbloom , responslblllty for their actIOns Thl!>ISa big part of my respon-, Slblhty m takIng care of me, 10 changIng old way!>of thmkmg that made me a vIctim Today, when fear, anxiety and pamc come., knockmg on my door, the very first thmg I con!>clOuslythink of ,IS, "I'm Just afraid I am not go~g to .~et what I want" That's It, the bottom Ime We all want what we want - when we want It • If I want to stay peaceful and fear free, I Immedllitely remember the Rolhng Stbnes refram "You can't always get what vou want, but If vou try sometimes you Just might find you get what you need" "Try" for me means trust, trust m the umverse, trust 10 God When I chose to replace the fear WIth trust and the behef that what happens Will be ready to do the Job under all tough conditIons - Well, maybe On the box, under "The PelIcan UnconditIOnal LifetIme Guarantee of Excellence~ which assures the flashhght Wlll be replaced or the purchase pnce refunded "for a hfetime" agamst breakage or defects In workmanship, IS the followmg proVIso "The above guarantee does not cover shark bite, bear attack or children under 5 " "We were recently up north With our young grandklds," Park Deputy Pubhc Safety DIrector Bill Furtaw tells FYI "I thInk I know what they mean there ~ You can't get there from here The scene IS a busy day In the Village, With yellow tape strung between posts, orange traffic cones dottmg the landscape, open ditches, pIles of dIrt and broken concrete, long rows of sewer pipe where the curb used to be, cut-up tree trunks and bulldozers, backhoes and dump trucks rumblmg around everywhere A mom, carrymg a httle boy who looked about 2 years old, stops at the corner of St Clair and Kercheval, looks dazedly at the mess and says to no one m partICular "How are we gomg to get where we want to go?" lIVE TOLL FREE • FORMERLY - ~TlR$ MT,CLEMENS absolutely the very best for me, Iwm When I change my negatIve, old "what Ifs~and "yeah, buts" to posItive "what Ifs" and "yeah, buts," I wm Instead of a day filled Wlth fear, worry, anger, resentment, self-pity, shame, ete, my day, whIch IS all I really have, becomes a day of play It's all very easy to say, but for me, It IS sometimes very, very hard to execute But I have proven over and over that surrender to trust and faIth IS not losmg. not failure. but absolute JOYousVictOry Veteran Journallst Jerry Staneckl, who made a name for hImself as The Newshawk on WXYZ.TV, IS a regular colum. nlSt for the Grosse Pomte News HIS e-mail address IS stanec. kl@wwnet com The Op-Ed Page .1 authontles and parents, many adolescents dIsregard them They are feehng theIr oats, wantIng to bust loose, needing to assert themselves agamst all the rules and authontles It IS the call of the Wlld They want to demonstrate theIr power and freedom to determme the course of their own lives, 10 opposItion to the rules of socIety and parents' attempts to control them PsycholOgIcally, gIven the sum total of adolescent boys, it can be expected that some Will go off the deep end The teen years are tImes of great turmod and torment for some, so much so that they feel they cannot elldure the world as It IS and commit sUlClde The recent trend ISto take others along so that the SUICIdalperson IS not alone. He wants company What IS even more scary IS Kubnck's VISionof the future, "A Clockwork Orange," 10 which young men are wantonly gettmg sex and bemg destructive Their parents are pictured as hapless, weak, meffectIve adults, who have no control, let alone knowledge, of what their offspnng are domg Their heads are m the sand They have relInquished any parental responslblhty In that claSSIC mOVIe, CIVIlizedsOCIety IS at bay, tfYlng to stem the tide of lawlessness, and erect" a dlabohcal scheme to rehablhtate offenders There seems to be no effec- tive means of combatmg the potential power of ragIng hormones PsycholOgIcalknowl. edge pomts to the channehng of emotIOns and creatiVIty mto the humamtles, the arts and sports It makes sense for parents to CIVIlizethe child from the earhest age on, to contain emotIOns and restram from destructIVe behaVIor,to be able to postpone and delay Most teenagers from a good home, are CIVIl,pohte, reasonable and fnendly, assummg a neurochemical balance to begin WIth But there always WIllbe some who are mstmctlvely warhke and dangerous They have to be spotted early ,fx_i _ She sang for thei r supper A total of 280 years of servIce to the Grosse Pomte schools was represented last month at a receptIon for 1998-99 retIrees, and at the end of the festlVltles there was a "golden oldie" surprIse for dessert On hand to enJoy the War Memonal's memorable dmner-hour munchIes and punch May 26 were Linda Banovetz (South Enghsh, 26 years serVice), Karen Bromley (RIchard magIlet, four years), Geraldine Deutschel (North hall momtor, 20 years), Ann Eatherly (South SOCialstud- Ies, 30 years), Christine Hea (Richard, 32 years); Richard Hensley (South custodian, 18 years); Dorothy Lilly (North hbrary, 23 yaars), Linda Mitchell (North Spamsh, 32 years), BiII Mitchell (North Enghsh, 35 years), Gordon Morlan (North SCience, 33 years) and Margaret Rogers (North secretary, 27 years) Take heart, shoppers The maIO part of the Improvement project IS supposed to be fin- Ished by fall Napiorkowskis say E-hello Fnends of John Napiorkowski, who graduated from Grosse Pomte North High m 1975 and went on to serve m the U S Army, Wlllbe pleased to learn he's now retired and hvmg Wlth Ius Wlfe 10 Oroo John's WIfe, Shawn, whose cyber-ID IS Shawnee59@aol com, found the onhne versIOn of the Grosse Pamte News at grossepomtenews corn and was thnlled at the chance to get reconnected "We are very happy that you have your paper onhne," she emalls "It's Dicekeepmg 10 tune WIth what's go1Og on at home .. John lIved on Allard 10 the Farms for many years, Shawn says, and most recently served m OperatIOn Desert Storm before attammg the rank of major He recently retired from the Army Reserves m Mlclugan and would love to hear from old fnends Got an FYI tip? Call Ken Eatherly at (313) 822-4091, or e-mail him at kenfyi@home.com SAVE $$$$$$$$ ON lENND~ HIGH EFFICIENCY CENTERAL Am CONDmONERS _FREE ESTIMATESI • • • • •• FINANCING AvAll.A8l£ 1-888-234-2340 [FUME] _co WAiREI ,
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Page 43 and 44: 970 CHIMNEY REPAIR CHIMNEY REPAIR R
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Page 51 and 52: Brian Greiner __________ 4thGrade T
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A father's lessons on how to live a
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Sears, Roebuck and Co. is going onl
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'topless' feast for the 'Eyes'

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