mummiez & daddiez magazine March/April

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The mummiez & daddiez team:
Claire Philcox - Director
Leroy Robinson - Marketing Publicity
Aaron Ali - Graphic Designer
Our writers this issue:
Claire Philcox
Leroy Robinson
Joanna Swan
Sharon Mercieca
Melanie Molloy
Meg
Gareth Forbes
Photographers:
Vera Kratochvil
John P Smithers
Vannell March
George Hodan
Petr Kratochvil
Francisco Farias Jr
Shari Weinsheimer
With thanks to flickr, Stock.XCHNG,
publicdomainpictures.net

In this issue of
6 Spending on a Need
or Want basis
8 Real Life Story
12 Childhood Obesity
14 NEW Entrepeneurial Children
16/18 Mummiez in Business
23 Diary of Starting Pre-School
24 Fashion
26 Beauty
28 Would You Be a Stay-at-Home Mum if
You Could Afford It?
29 Your Opinion Matters
30 Homework Tips
32 Competition
34 NEW Just For Daddiez Page—Do Dads
Make Better Parents?
Welcome
So this is my page, my time to
write about absolutely anything
at all.....so here it is: Reading, I
absolutely love reading self
help books, motivational books
and books about woman
entrepreneurs.
I’m currently reading Karen
Brady. Strong woman:
Ambition, Grit and a great pair
of heels. The book is great, I
find Karen hugely inspiring.
Reading helps keep me
motivated, relaxed and above
all I enjoy it!
Warm bath + bubbles + great
book = a happy Claire.
Try it.
Claire
Visit our facebook
page and please
“like” us

Don’t skip the ketchup. It contains a
superb blend of sweet and sour flavours
that will add flavour to the dish.
Additionally, its consistency will help
thicken the sauce.
Serves 4
Ingredients:
150ml water
1.5kg (2 packets) basic chicken thighs or
drumsticks
6 heaped tablespoons all-purpose
seasoning
2 teaspoons crushed chillies
2 tablespoons basic dry mixed herbs
2 teaspoons smoked paprika
2 teaspoons ground mixed spice
6 tablespoons basic range tomato ketchup
1 tablespoon black pepper (preferably
freshly ground but powdered will do) to
taste
1 tablespoon vegetable oil or olive oil
Method:
Preheat oven to gas mark 4/150
Place the water in a large ceramic dish,
one that holds all the chicken easily.
Mix all the other ingredients in a bowl,
including the chicken. If you don’t have a
bowl that’s big enough halve all the
ingredients and do it in two batches. It’s
important every piece of chicken gets
covered in seasoning.
Place the chicken in the ceramic dish. Cook
for between 2 to 2 ½ hours, turning once
to ensure chicken is browned on all sides.
You’ll know the dish is cooked when the
gravy has thickened. Serve with basic
range long grain rice and basic range
frozen vegetables such as sweetcorn and
peas.
For extra flavour marinate the chicken in
the seasoning mixture overnight in a
sealed food bag.
Leroy Robinson

Easter Colouring
Print and colour the page

So many of us work long, hard hours to provide for our
families and children-often long hours away from
home, maybe taking on extra jobs at times or hoping to
get a raise in an effort to
make our lives richer
financially–working harder
at the expense of sleeping
and taking good care of
ourselves in order to have
extra money. It seems so
many of us just aren’t
content with what we have
now. But is there a point at
which striving to earn or
acquire extra money can be
counterproductive? Or, in
other words, when having
extra money just doesn’t
make us “happy” anymore?
There certainly is a
relationship between your
salary and happiness;
people who earn a good living are often happier than
people who live in poverty. Having extra money can
certainly enhance our lives by providing extra food,
objects and creature comforts in our homes.
But the irony is that earning additional income will
actually not lead to extra happiness, once you have
already attained a “comfortable standard” where you
have what you need to function and be content. The
“comfortable standard” can be quite variable based on
the city, state or country you live in.
The issue then arises why we work so hard after we
have reached an income level that is able to make us
happy. Beyond a strong work ethic engrained by family
values, or the desire to excel and compete with others, it
appears that our ideas about money and happiness have
gone awry.
However the true take-away from all of these mental
exercises with money and happiness is that what we do
with our money is more important than the money we
earn. The thought that making more money can allow
us to have bigger houses and fancier cars to nicer digital
televisions-more for ourselves-
is ultimately ineffective at
turning money into happiness.
Research has demonstrated
that if you are going to spend
money on yourself, you may
want to switch from buying
material objects (TVs or cars)
to buying experiences (trips
and special events). Based on
additional research by Dunn
and Norton, while buying more
“experiences”, you will be
better off by just buying less in
general and instead buy for
others.
This concept is that by denying
yourself the excess that you
may ultimately desire may
allow you to savour and appreciate the finer things in
life. Dunn gives the example of indulging in chocolate
sparingly -instead of in excess- may actually make you
appreciate the taste and texture much more.
A more extreme but scientifically proven means of
increasing the happiness you derive from your money is
a bit more radical-not spending it on yourself. It turns
out that people who spend money on others rather than
themselves are actually happier in the long run. They
derive a greater feeling of reward and satisfaction and
this helps to enrich their inner feelings of sharing and
contentment.
So instead of buying that extra watch or TV the next
time you have some new found money, consider the
alternative: indulging less and offering others the
opportunity to share in your wealth.

As children are our future, the mummiez & daddiez team thought it
would be a great idea if you could you to send us your cute/funny
pictures for us to feature here! If you would like your child’s photo
featured, please email photos to
claire@mummiezanddaddiezmag.co.uk together with their names.

Daniel and I sat in the family waiting room.
In silence we held each other. We knew the news
would be bad. He just laid there still when we saw him
just minutes before. They had put so many needles in
his brand new skin and he just lay there. His breath
interrupted by his body shuddering. Freddy was just 3
hours old. The consultant walked in looking concerned.
“Your son did not breathe for 20 minutes. He suffered
severe oxygen deprivation. He is very poorly. If he
survives your son will most likely be left with advanced
brain damage.” He paused for a moment. In that
moment I recalled what had happened just hours before.
I called the midwife line. I was 5 days overdue but a
healthy mummy to be.
We had considered home birth as our option unless any
complications arose as we were just a 5 minute car ride
from the hospital. It was early afternoon and I had felt
a little different all day. She told me to get Daniel home
from work and to take a nice hot bath. The bath would
either speed up or stop the pressure I was feeling. So I
called Daniel and said “this is it babe, time to come
home. Let’s get this baby moving”. I did a few more
bits around the house then ran a bath. About 5 minutes
after I got in the bath I noticed a massive difference,
very heavy pressure lasting longer. Still I could handle
it. I got myself upstairs. Daniel arrived and started
timing my contractions. They were every 5 minutes and
quite intense. Still I was handling them, but it was time
to get the midwife round to examine me. Rose arrived
and came upstairs with her equipment. We chatted and
she explained what she was going to do. I sat on the bed
and she examined me. It was quite painful. I was Just 1
cm dilated. She said that I had a long time to go yet and
she would pop back later when I was a bit further along.
After all I was a first time mummy. We were expecting
at least a 12 hour labour. Secretly I was worried. I kept
thinking this pressure is quite bad, how can I cope for
hours, DAYS... but I held it back. (It’s important to
remember at this point that if I had planned a hospital
delivery we would of gone in, been examined and I
would of been sent home at such an early stage. They
would need the beds! 1cm is very early labour) I
remember Rose packed up her equipment and sat beside
me. “Stay calm and do your breathing. Take 2
paracetamol and have a nice warm bath to relax you.”
This reassured me a little. Rose left with instructions
that Daniel should time the contractions and call when
they were a lot closer together. I got in the bath but I
could no longer handle the pain. I somehow got myself
back upstairs, Daniel in tow and just shoved myself on
Save a
Cool to
Life
“He looked so small.
Every motherly instinct
is tested”

the bed, on all fours, burying my head in the pile of
pillows. Something was happening, the pressure was
incredibly intense, the urge to push. Daniel was in the
room with me when suddenly my waters broke. I
remember Daniel changing the towels underneath me then
he was gone. Where had he gone I kept thinking? In fact
Daniel has seen there was very thick mec in my waters.
He didn’t want to cause panic. He knew this meant we
would have to transfer to hospital for the rest of my
labour. So he went downstairs. The midwives were
called. They would be coming round to do a few checks
as we waited for the transfer to hospital (Remember at this
point I was thought to still be in the early stages of
labour). What None of us realized was that I had gone
from 1cm to fully dilated in a less than half an hour! I
was actually starting to push upstairs. I knew in my head
something was wrong. The contractions hurt badly and
right at the end of them I had this uncontrolled push into
my abdomen. I knew he was coming but the shock of the
rapid timing had made me silent in screams. I could not
shout to Daniel, I could not do anything but keep trying
not to push which was honestly near on impossible!
All of a sudden I heard a voice. It was Karen. She
walked in the room. She had arrived to assess me for
hospital transfer due to the mec. I remember thinking I'm
safe now. I told her straight away I was pushing and
could not stop. She looked at me puzzled and surprised.
She knew I had been examined a short while before.
She must of thought I was being an over the top 1 st time
mummy! She held my hand and asked me to roll onto my
back so she could take a look. The look on her face, she
had to put pressure on and firmly told not to push. “You
can’t push. Stop pushing right now.” Sounds harsh but
this was too fast and our baby was in serious danger. Not
pushing was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. It
was like when you hold your breath and you get to that
point where you have to breathe again. You have too.
You have to breathe. I had to push! Rose arrived. She
had been Christmas shopping when she got the call. “mec
in waters” So she had also come by to assess and help in
whatever way she could. No high tech birthing equipment
was at hand. It had been signed back in at the hospital
until later on when my labour was established.
This was not a birthing call. This was an assessment,
transfer call. Straight away Rose and Karen went into
auto pilot. “DANIEL CALLTHE AMBULANCE!” The
baby was coming and nothing was going to stop him. I
recall them both telling me to push. I remember them
telling me to pant “eyes, nose and chin!” Freddy’s head
was out now. I opened my eyes for a split second and
could tell from their faces something was very wrong. I
kept pushing and pushing, but the situation was getting
more serious. I tried to do everything they asked of me.
Then panic set in the pillows got whipped out from under
me. My legs pushed far back by the midwives and Daniel
was helping too at this point. So much pressure pushed
on my tummy. They were shouting at me to push as hard
as I could. I felt like I was going to die. (It was shoulder
dystocia.) Freddy’s shoulder was stuck on my upper
pelvic bone and his cord had snapped inside. They had
tried the mcroberts but now the last resort, Rose had to
reach into me with her arm and release him) It was an
extremely hard manoeuvre. Daniel was told to leave the
room. It was just too horrific for him to be involved and
he needed to wave down the ambulance. It took several
minutes for her to release the shoulder then he was born at
last. I felt him being placed on my tummy. He was a
heavy 9lb 2 and limp. So lifeless, one of them said the
cord had snapped “clamp it clamp it.” Karen grabbed
Freddy, scooped mec out his mouth. She then began CPR
“WHERE WAS THE AMBULANCE!” What none of us
knew was that there were no ambulances. It had been the
busiest night ever in the city's ambulance service history.
All were out on life threatening calls. An ambulance had
been dispatched from Sandhurst miles away! Karen
performed CPR on Freddy for 15 minutes next to me
before the ambulance arrived she had no equipment.
He showed no signs of life. Those 15 minutes were
the worst minutes of my 29 years on this earth.
Hearing the breaths of the midwives trying to bring
him back and hearing the screams that you finally
realize are your own, living hell, a living nightmare.
The next thing I remember was Karen screaming so
loudly. I have never heard someone scream in that
way before, desperate! Just pure desperation! The
ambulance had arrived. She took hold of a still,
lifeless Freddy and put him down her top. She
leaped barefoot down one flight of very steep stairs
and down another flight of rough concrete steps out
into the ambulance, screaming for them to get the
CPR equipment. She passed Daniel as she left. He
saw Freddy. He says he will never forget how limp
he was. Dark purple gone!

As he heard the ambulances tires screech he now had to
come and comfort me, knowing we probably will never
see our baby boy alive. It was then that I fell apart. I was
hysterical. I kept screaming “I don’t want my baby to die.
He can't die.” Daniel was by my side. I looked him in the
eyes and cried. What if he died, what if he's dead. What
will we do I'll never forget his face. He was white and
just helpless to know what to do.....Broken. It felt like a
lifetime, but finally 5 minutes later the call came through
20 minutes after Freddy was delivered. “He's breathing,
he has colour.” The relief was more than incredibly
overwhelming. I can’t even describe it in words. We
were totally shell shocked. The pure horror of what just
happened did not truly sink in until we were at the
hospital hearing the consultant’s voice.....Back to reality.
“We want to try something. It’s fairly new out of research
and we will have to transfer Freddy right away to Oxford.
He will receive the cooling technique” Here comes the
technical part - What is the cooling Technique? An infant
who does not have sufficient oxygen for any significant
length of time at birth may develop
cerebral palsy, vision impairments,
hearing problems or learning
disabilities.
Traditionally very little could be
done after a baby had suffered
asphyxia, another term for oxygen
deprivation. Doctors would simply
“I touched his
little hand. It
was so cold.”
wait and hope for the best, as there was no known
treatment. Over the past few years, though, doctors have
realized the benefits of a new technique known as brain
cooling. (The cooling technique) With brain cooling,
doctors are able to reduce the likelihood and severity of
long-term impairments. To perform this technique, a
doctor uses a simple blanket or body wraps that are
chilled with tubes of cold water. This cold blanket
reduces the baby's core temperature from 98 degrees to 91
degrees over a period of 72 hours, mild hypothermic state.
Baby also has probes into the scalp to monitor brain
waves and is often sedated and receives morphine to
lower discomfort. By lowering the body's core
temperature, the cooling blanket reduces the swelling
around the brain and prevents the body from attempting
reparative actions that might ultimately cause greater
damage. It slows the organs and helps give a newborn the
chance to heal and recover from the shock of their trauma.
The cooling must begin within six hours of delivery to be
affective. So Freddy was transferred to begin his 72 hour
cooling treatment in Oxford. I looked upon Rows of
incubators. There he was, underneath the wires, tubes,
and beside the giant machines there he was, fighting.
He looked so small. Every natural motherly instinct is
tested. The incredible wave of protection I felt for him. I
wanted to pick him up into the safety of my arms. Onto
my warm skin I wanted to kiss his cheeks and nose and
those never ending lashes. The longing was immense.
Almost uncontrollable it made my chest hurt. The tears
flowed. The hopeless, frustrated, heart wrenching feeling
of the longing! I watched as strangers changed his nappy,
pumped food into his mouth tube and studied graphs
constantly printed from the big machine beside him. So
many sounds are in the NICU all trying to overtake each
other, they seem to get louder. I touched his little hand. It
was so cold. He shivered and made little whimpers that
broke my heart into a million pieces every time I heard
them. A Newborn baby should be wrapped in blankets,
snuggled with a cute bonnie hat, face all squished up and
content. My baby was laid naked, just a nappy on and a
cold water blanket. It felt unnatural for me. His mummy
who had kept him warm, for 9 long months watching him
so fragile on the edge of life itself. So, so cold. 3 days of
the longing, of the cold. Daniel and I stood by him and
held his precious hand. The support we received from
family and friends was truly inspiring. This made us
strong and we remained positive throughout Freddy's
cooling. Finally on Christmas Eve 2011, after 72 hours
kept cold our baby was being very slowly warmed.
Everybody waited anxiously for the
news. That day was full of so many
different emotions. What ever happened
we would be there for him. Love him
unconditionally our everything! Then a
miracle happened. Freddy was Healthy.
No signs of any brain damage! “This
never happens after such severe

asphyxia” they said. He is a miracle baby!
His story was spreading like wildfire through the JR and
back to the royal Berkshire hospital. Freddy the
Christmas miracle baby!!!!! After he was warmed up we
were able to dress him at last, warm and cosy.
I can’t actually describe my full feelings when they finally
put him in my arms that day. It was truly the most
incredible moment of my entire life. Feeling his warmth
and his tiny heart beat. PROUD! So proud of Freddy, me
and Daniel and also so proud of all the
people who helped save his life. Proud
of every single person that had shown us
support. I will never ever till the day I
die forget that day. Our family created a
bond that day. A bond that is so strong it
can never be broken. Everything was
positive from then on. We were able to
cuddle him all day on Christmas day.
They observed him closely and were so
amazed and happy with his health that we
were able to take him home on Boxing
Day. To bring him home was so
emotional. I spent hours staring at him
( I still do ) Such a perfect little boy.
We returned to oxford when Freddy was
4 months old and he was given the all
clear. They are still amazed how he
recovered from such a traumatic
beginning. He really was a little Christmas miracle. We
will continue to work with the team to aid in the continued
research into the cooling technique. Freddy will have
checkups every 6 months at Southampton general. Freddy
is a very happy, Healthy 13 month old. Full of a love for
life, that shines through his amazing smile. He really is
such a beautiful little life who brings joy to our hearts
every day. He even started walking on Christmas eve,
just 4 days after his 1st birthday. He inspired me to set up
a Facebook page to raise awareness for this incredible
treatment. Since August 2012 his page has expanded.
We now have a website, twitter account and have grown
into ‘The cool to save a life Group.’ We are a group who
fundraise for hospital Level 3 NICU units to provide
equipment specifically linked to the Newborn cooling
technique. We also aim to raise awareness to people all
over the world about this pioneering treatment. We
provide a networking platform for cooling families to
connect. We also offer emotional support to cooling
families as parents who have been through it ourselves.
We are currently raising funds to help provide S'ton NICU
with a cerebral function monitor. We are constantly
expanding and changing as we continue to grow. It has
been amazing to create such a positive cause. We work
hard every day to make a difference and to reach to those
across the globe who are going through what we did just
over 1 year ago. I will never forget what happened that
night and it has left its mark, but doing this is helping our
family heal and move forward. If you would like to learn
more, follow Freddy’s journey or even support our
fundraising project please visit www.cooltosavealife.com
Nicky Symmonds

Childhood
Obesity
It’s a race against time. If we carry on as we are, 90% of
today’s children could be overweight or obese by 2050.
Changes have to be made now if we are to stem the rising
tide of obesity. The Government Office for Science’s
Foresight Report concluded that issues of modern day life,
such as new technological progress, labour-saving
devices, sedentary jobs and lifestyles and ample and
abundant food, have over-stepped human evolution and
make it increasingly hard to maintain a healthy weight.
The report also suggests that if we don’t take action now,
our society will be consumed by a major public health
problem matched only by climate change in both its scale
and complexity. It goes on to suggest we are likely to
face a financial cost to the NHS and the wider economy of
£50 billion by 2050. The Government recognises it has a
significant role to play to counter the trend towards
obesity, but is aware it cannot do it alone. That is why the
Department of Health has developed Change4Life – to
bring together a coalition, across society, of health and
education professionals, third sector colleagues,
community groups, supermarkets, food manufacturers and
the media to address the issue in unison. Ultimately,
people have to take responsibility for their own physical
activity and diet, but the Government has an obligation to
offer clear and effective information about food and
exercise in the fight against obesity.
Following the evidence from the Foresight Report, the
Government’s drive to tackle obesity is targeting five key
areas:
• Children: healthy growth and healthy weight
• Promoting healthier food choices
• Building physical activity into our lives
• Creating incentives for better health
• Personalised advice and support
‘Making parents more aware of the serious health
implications of being overweight or obese is a vital
objective of the Change4Life movement. So building
awareness about what families can do to live healthier
lifestyles is essential, without condemning existing habits
or beliefs. Using evidence from the Department of
Health’s Expert Review Group, and insight that includes
ethnographic research, we have worked steadily to
identify realistic and achievable behaviours, in language
that parents can relate to. One by one these behaviours
can help to achieve long lasting changes to lifestyles.
These include:
1. Sugar Swaps
Swapping sugary snacks and drinks for ones that are

lower in sugar can make a huge difference to kids’ calorie
intake.
2. Meal Time
It’s important for kids to have regular, proper meals as
growing bodies respond better to routine.
3. Snack Check
Many snacks are full of the things that are bad for us –
sugar, salt, fat and calories. So try and keep a careful eye
on how many the kids are having.
4. Me Size Meals
Even though they’re growing, it’s important to make sure
kids get just the right amount for their age – not too little
and not too much.
5. 5 A Day
It’s easier than you think to give your kids five portions of
fruit and vegetables a day.
6. Cut Back Fat
We all know too much fat is bad for us. But it’s not
always easy to tell where it’s lurking.
7. 60 Active Minutes
Kids need to do at least 60 minutes of activity a day to
help them stay happy and healthy.
8. Up and About
The way life is today means that most of us spend too
long sitting down.
http://www.nhs.uk/Change4Life/supporter-resources/
downloads/Help_stop_childhood_obesity.pdf

We Were Child Entrepeneurs...
Look where dreams, aspiration, hard work and
determination got us:
Aaron Kennedy
Noodles & Co.
When he was eight-years-old, Aaron Kennedy started two
seasonal businesses in Elburn, Illinois – selling greeting
cards in the fall, and selling vegetable-seed packets door-todoor
in the spring. "I sold to anybody I could get to on my
bicycle," Kennedy says. To better understand the customers’
needs, he planted seeds and tended to a garden in his own
backyard. Today, he runs Noodles & Company, a 12-state
franchise of restaurants that grossed more than $200 million
in revenue last year.
Tony Hsieh
Zappos.com
Jennifer Barclay
Blue Fish Clothing
Growing up on a farm in Bucks County, Pennsylvania,
Barclay kept herself busy making “thumbies,” animal
figures she created by dipping her thumb in ink and
pressing it onto card stock. She sold them for a quarter
each, and she built on that creativity as a teenager, piecing
together fabrics that expressed her personal style. What
evolved was Blue Fish Clothing, an artisan, organic
clothing company, with retail stores in New Mexico and
New Jersey, and projected revenue of $2 million for 2009.
Long before he became the CEO of Zappos.com, Hsieh
made $100 each month selling photo-buttons by mail.
Customers would send him photos and self-addressed
envelopes and a 12-year-old Hsieh would transform
them into buttons that people could pin on clothing,
hats, and backpacks. That early success made him
confident as an entrepreneur. Today, people can’t stop
ordering their shoes from Zappos.com; the
company booked $1 billion in gross sales in
2008.

Temple Spa
Having a successful career in the City
where travel was becoming more and more
expected within my role, I found it
increasingly difficult to devote the time and
energy I wanted to my baby Son. It was
becoming a logistical nightmare and the
guilt was becoming overwhelming...After
much deliberation, my Husband and I
decided a career break was the best option!
However, I hadn’t counted on being bored
to tears and found being at home with baby
was increasingly isolating and I began to
feel resentful that I had had to give up my
career totally and that there was no
workable compromise... What I had never
considered up until that point was Direct
Selling (DS)!
A former colleague had developed her own
business in DS and seemed to be having it
all! I was very sceptical I must admit so I
tentatively agreed to meet her for a coffee
and a chat. I was actually quite surprised
when I began to see the possibilities and
opportunities that this path actually offered.
After giving it some consideration and
chatting it over with friends and family (most
of warned me not to go ahead), I decided to
‘dip my toe’ in and see where it led. After all
what had I got to lose?
I joined her team and after some initial
training and lots of support, I very
quickly built up a thriving business
where I got to meet lots of different
people, I felt like I was achieving
something and of course the
money was a great bonus too, but
the best thing of all was the
flexibility that DS offers, you work
when you want to work and are
there 100% for your family when
you need to be.
No problems around finding
childcare during the school
holidays and inset days! That's
what makes it so special!
I loved sending quality time with
my Son, alongside the thrill of
building up my little empire that I
envisaged I would have in the
future, this made me feel alive and

excited that perhaps I could
make more than just some
‘pin money’, that I really
could call it a career and be
my own boss.
I attended everything that
the company offered in
terms of business
workshops, network
meetings and achieved
many accolades and
rewards as my business
took off.
In a short space of time I
found it easy to attract other
ladies into joining the team
and achieving their dreams
for themselves. It’s great to
spread the word that DS is a
viable option for many
people and that their dreams
can be achieved with some
hard work and support from
myself and the rest of the team.
I am now a Lifestyle Consultant with Temple
Spa - a fantastic British Company who
specialise in Spa & Skincare of the highest
standards, Paraben Free and used in the
worlds very best Spa's, First Class Cabins
in Selected Airlines and 5 Star Hotels. We
retail in Harrods & Selfridges in London only
- however, my role is to bring these
fabulous products to you at home or in the
workplace. I offer a relaxed Spa
environment where you can learn about
skincare that suits you and your lifestyle
and try before buy.
Whoever you are and whatever you do we
have some products and lifestyle solutions
to help you achieve your ambitions.
I have been in DS for 7 years now and can
honestly say it has been a fabulous time in
our lives and I wouldn’t change it for the
world.
Having your own business really does mean
you can have your cake and eat it! It’s hard
work and yes of course sometimes there
are clashes in the diary between work and
home life, but I haven’t yet seen anything
that comes close to being your own boss!
I will not be going back to the City to carry
on my ‘Career’. I am doing just great here in
DS land, achieving my goals, helping others
with theirs and generally ‘Having it All’. After
all a more relaxed Mummy & Wife makes
for a very happy life J
Joanne Jolly – Lifestyle Consultant –
Temple Spa

Bowman Bears
If someone had said to me two years ago that I
would be running my own business from home,
earning my own money I would have probably
laughed at them.
Two years ago I had just had my second child,
Annie. My eldest, Alfie was two and a half and
I was immersed in being a full
time mum. I did love it and
they were totally my priority.
However I did miss having a
job and earning my own
money, but more than anything
I missed being creative. Before
I had children I had always
been ‘arty’ and had dabbled in
scrapbooking, cross stitch, but
it was always more of a hobby.
After a stressful house move
back to London I started to feel
very low, I thought I may have
post natal depression. It all
seemed to come out after we
moved. I really didn’t want to
go on medication, so I started
sewing instead. It really seemed to work. I had
something else to concentrate on rather than
focusing on the day to day.
So I started making bears and Bowman Bears
was born. I made them for myself initially, out
of the children’s old baby clothes. My first bears
were not very good, but I was determined to
learn and get better with everyone I made.
I posted pictures on my own Facebook profile
and I got really positive feedback, this in itself
made everything worth it. I then decided to set
up my own business page for Bowman Bears on
Facebook. It was a massive step as I would be
opening up to everyone, but it was worth it.
Before not too long I had my first order from a
‘stranger’. It was very scary but exciting at the
same time.
Since then, I have made over 200 bears for all
sorts of different people and different occasions,
some for birthday gifts made from old baby
clothes, some for bridesmaids to hold as they
walk down the aisle and even a bear with wings.
I have now had enquiries about my bears
appearing on websites and in gift
shops and I have even designed a
jointed Dragon to throw into the
mix.
I never take for granted any bear
that I am asked to make, I love
each and every one as they are
always individual.
Starting up your own business is
hard work, especially starting
from scratch financially, at the
beginning the profits are very
low as most of the money goes
straight back into the business,
but I feel so happy. I can work
from home, when I choose. I
can pick the children up from
school every day and still do all
of the ‘mummy’ things I need to do, but I also
feel human again.
I would recommend anyone who has ever
wanted to start up their own business to
definitely go for it, you never know where you
will be in a years’ time.
Amy Chan
Bowman Bears
www.bowmanbears.com
www.facebook.com/Bowmanbears
bowman-bears@hotmail.co.uk

Strong Mind ❖ Fit Body
Personal Training
Life Coaching
Wellness Coaching
Boot Camps:
Fitness/ Mum & Baby/ Bridal
Mind Body Coaching, your
journey to a Strong Mind and
a Fit Body. Supporting you
toward the most positive
version of you .
Personal Training focuses on exercise prescription,
fitness related goals & nutrition. 121, buddy or group
personal training. Home or Outdoor Training available.
Life Coaching tackles many areas of personal
development, such as dealing with traumatic events,
illness, finance issues, bereavement, relationship issues,
baby loss and happiness coaching.
Wellness Coaching deals with your physical and
mental health, to achieve a positive ‘ mind body ’
relationship and involves wellness, exercise, and nutrition
management to manage healthier behaviours.
Mind Body Boot Camp -
*Saturday *10-11am* Mayesbrook Park *Barking
Improves cardiovascular fitness, body toning, abdominal
toning & flexibility.
Also incorporates Life Coaching elements to lead you to
positive behavioural change.
Equipment Used: Agility Ladder, Kettlebells, Tyres,
Battling/Undulation Ropes, Dumbells, Body weight.
T: 07947 253 033
E: contact@mindbodycoaching.co.uk
www.mindbodycoaching.co.uk
OFFER: FREE
consultation to
Mummiez and Daddiez
readers

Make 2013 a Happier Year
We all want to live happy and fulfilling
lives and we want the people we love to
be happy too.
So happiness matters to all of us.
Eco Education
.
NEW: Something for the Dads
Dads Check your Testicles
Quality Time with Daddy
10 Top Potty Training Tips
Print and Use our Praise Charts
The Five C’s for Discipline in Children
Action for Happiness is a worldwide movement (founded in
2010) of around 25,000 members committed to building a
happier society.
In summer 2012 the local Barking/East London Action for
Happiness group was started. We are a social enterprise in
the form of a local community charity; we are passionate
about creating connections and strengthening social
innovation. We meet on the first Thursday of every month
from 7-9pm at the Spotted Dog Pub in Barking to share our
creative ideas about creating greater connections, which
leads to greater happiness. We share our ideas and vision
about future events and activities we would like to see taking
place.
Our Mission is through learning, sharing and action we bring
to life the 10 keys to happier living, which latest research has
found tend to make people's lives happier and more fulfilling.
Together they spell "GREAT DREAM".
We are holding our very first event in Barking, which is a
workshop titled ‘Introduction to Practical Meditation’ with
guest speaker Roy Maunder on Thursday February 21 st . The
cost is just £5 to attend the 2.5 hour workshop from 6-
8.30pm.
Future events will include the screening of a film called
'Happy' - an inspiring documentary about how we can
all be happier and future workshops all relating to the
10 keys and general personal growth & development.
For more information on attending the events or to share
your ideas about contributing to a happier society please call
Sharon on 07947253033 and like our facebook page http://
www.facebook.com/ActionForHappinessBarking
We have no religious, political or commercial affiliations and
welcome people of all faiths (or none) and all parts of
society.

Should you eat only
when you are hungry?
The physiology of hunger is a complicated process,
whereby different people respond to it, in very different
ways.
Some of my clients claim that they do not feel hunger and
eat just to survive, while others live to eat and do not wait
for hunger to catch them out. Either way hunger is not
something to ignore, in fact it is a critical indicator that
the body needs ‘something’. This is why so many diets
do not work in the long term, because the body is missing
out on what it really needs, especially with extreme diets.
Eating right for your Metabolic Type
If your body is not getting the right balance of macro
nutrients (Protein/Fat/Carbohydrate) you will feel hungry
soon after eating or you may crave unhealthy foods. You
can find more out about this by reading ‘The Metabolic
Typing Diet’ by William Wolcott and Trish Fahey.
Mindful eating
Get to know yourself and take note if what you are eating
is triggered by visual temptations (other people eating
biscuits/cakes in the office), or emotional cues such as
boredom, reward, or stress. The more in tune and honest
you are with your body and mind the more likely you are
to make the correct dietary choices.
Why you shouldn’t let yourself get hungry
Starvation response – The body can develop a coping
mechanism to deal with the starvation period by holding
onto calories consumed from the last meal, slowing down
metabolism (which is the very thing I help my clients to
speed up). During this period the body can also burn lean
muscle, instead of fat. (It is muscle we need, as this is
where fat burning
takes place).
Blood sugar
imbalance – Blood
glucose levels
fluctuate depending
on whether you
have consumed a
meal or not,
skipping a meal
can cause these
levels to drop too
low. In some cases
this may just cause
an energy dip, but
it could also cause
dizziness and
fainting. It is
recommended that
we eat every four
to six hours to prevent this from happening.
Skipping breakfast can mean in some cases you are
fasting for up to 16 hours. If this is you, remember break
- your – fast.
The risk of overeating – if you go past the point of
hunger to ravenous you risk what I call the point of no
return. The point where you go beyond just satisfying
your hunger but instead consume a day’s worth of food
in one sitting like it is going to be the last meal you ever
have.
Signs of hunger
If you are not very in tune with hunger and fit into the
category of the ‘eat to live’ group. Then the following list
may help you to become more in tune with your body.
Difficulty concentrating
Dizziness/faint
Headache
Gurgling or gnawing in the stomach
Due to the complexity of hunger this is a process that you
should experiment with personally.
The way you can do this is by keeping a weekly food
diary. Place the days of the week at the top and space on
the left for 5 boxes for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack,
dinner. You should record what you consumed for every
meal and snack and the times in which you consumed
them. Leave a section at the bottom of each day to record
how you feel. Play around with the times you eat on each
day to compare how you feel and whether the times in
which you eat influence the type and volume of food you
eat.
My tip: Never
do the grocery
shopping
hungry. You
will find you
shop very
differently; it
leads to buying
things you
would never
usually buy,
making poorer
choices and
once the food is
in the home it
can be even
harder to resist.
Sharon
Mercieca

10. Jennifer Lawrence - Since landing the
role as Katniss on The Hunger Games,
Jennifer Lawrence has been dubbed a role
model. While many people have called Jennifer
fat, she doesn’t buckle under the pressure to
be too thin. She’s a normal, healthy
weight and wouldn’t want to be any different.
That confidence is worth looking up to.
9. Justin Bieber - Unlike some, Justin
Bieber uses his celebrity superpowers for
good, not evil. On many occasions he’s
surprised adoring fans or sick children to
give them a day to remember. He also
supports many charities.
8. Dakota Fanning - In 2001,
Dakota Fanning became the youngest person
ever to be nominated for a Screen Actors Guild
Award. She was 7-years-old. Now, the 18-yearold
beauty has admittedly become a role model.
Even as a busy actress, she graduated from her
high school and is now studying at New York
University.
7: Emma Watson - After all the fame
and fortune that came with being part
of the Harry Potter franchise, you’d
thought Emma Watson would have
buckled under the pressure of her star
status. Instead, she used her earnings
to return to school. She attended
Brown University. She also did
something few female celebs do - she chopped off her locks.
This brave and confident gal is definitely a role model.
6. Jennifer Hudson - Jennifer Hudson has blossomed since
appearing on American Idol season 3. She
began her career as a successful singer and
actress, even earning an Oscar for her first
film, Dream girls. She became the
spokesperson for Weight Watchers and
transformed her body, empowering herself
and girls everywhere to have the confidence
to do the same.
No. 5: Selena Gomez - Not only does 19year-old
Selena Gomez have her own TV
show, an amazing album and her own
clothing line, she has also helped with
several organizations, including the
ENOUGH project to help the Congolese citizens and their
endangered amphibians.
No. 3: Ellen Degeneres - As her
name states, Ellen Degeneres has
become one of the most generous people
in Hollywood. She supports over 30
charities and foundations and is
particularly fighting against animal
cruelty. She is an openly gay woman who
wears her identity proud.
No. 4: Leonardo DiCaprio -
Leonardo DiCaprio has come a long
way from his role as pretty boy Jack
Dawson in Titanic. He is now the
ultimate activist, trying to educate
the public about the world’s
environmental issues through
documentaries and his own foundation.
No. 2: The Jonas
Brothers - The Jonas
Brothers have overcome a
lot. They lived quite
meagrely until the bros
hit the big time. And even
though Nick has diabetes,
he doesn’t let that get in
the way of his dreams.
They’re a relatable band with wholesome values, who also
started their own foundation - Change for the Children.
No. 1: Taylor Swift - Taylor Swift is a kind-
hearted person who keeps clear of the rag mags by living a
clean and honest life. She is the ultimate role model, not
only for that, but also for the 20+ charities and foundations
she’s involved with, including Children in Need, Red Cross
and a campaign to protect children from online predators.

It’s the most smashing
time of the year (get
it?)...it must be Easter
time. It is the time to
eat loads of chocolate
and have the kids off
from schools over the
extended weekend, oh
the joy! To enjoy this
occasion, let’s suit
and boot you all up
this month.
This month the shop
of choice is Matalan,
recently discovered by
me, it is 'EEGtastic',
the prices are
'EGGtremely cheep
cheep'and delivery is
free, so you can do
everything at your
fingertips whilst
watching a dose of
Loose Woman.
This outfit is best for
any mufti-day they
have this month. The
green and spotted
blouse is cute and also
suitable for any sunny
day (if that ever
happens). The laced
collar makes the top
look expensive,
without it hurting
your bank account!
Jeans are suitable for
any event and
everyone should have
some in their
wardrobes. These are
dark so no worries for
dirt showing and it has a belt so they it will stay on for the
entire day. Cannot go wrong for £9! The jacket brightens
up this outfit and it has SEQUINS! What girl could not
love this? It has a hood and the material will keep them
warm during
playtime or a trip to
the park. The jumper
gives that extra
warmth and can be
worn to any smart
occasion. Finally, the
boots. As it is spring,
why not have some
flowers on your
boots? They are
durable and they can
run in as many
puddles as they
want...they are
waterproof!
These clothes are
simple and practical.
The chinos come in a
range of colours, so
do not worry if you
have a fussy one on
your hands. The
green just makes the
outfit brighter and
original and also
reminds me of Easter
time and spring. The
shirt is very smart
and can fit any
occasion, from
Sunday mass to
Sunday lunch. This
shirt can be worn on
its own or underneath
the jumper to make it
more casual. The
jumper can go with
anything and has a
detailed pocket to
hide any sweets. The
long sleeves make it
comfortable to run around in and keeps them warm at the
same time. The canvas shoes are cheap and cheerful. They
are a cheaper version to trainers and they are just as good.
Gilets are normally expensive, but Matalan offer a wide

variety of them at low prices.
This blue gilet has segments of
shaded blue and has pockets,
so no more losing your keys
and phones. The jeans are very
cheap and durable. Boys love
their jeans, so there are no
excuses when buying these at
the checkouts. The jumper is a
dark red. A lot of men do not
feel comfortable when wearing
bright colours, so this one is
great and looks mature. The
contrasting green polo shirt is
good for them family days out
and also for going out to
dinner; two for the price of
one. The shoes are smart and
suitable for walks and runs,
whatever you choose!
My favorite part the woman’s
section. Firstly the dress; the
price! It is only £8! It is floral,
so it is very chic and
sophisticated. It shows your
figure and also ties up at the
back. The printed jeans are one
of my favorites; the dark
patterns are unique and also
stylish. The jacket is on sale, so
go and get it quick; it will
protect your clothes on the
inside from getting wet and is
popular amongst celebrities.
The bag is something that we
all need. The brown leather
colour adds a touch of vintage
to the outfit. The shoes are
perfect for any woman. They
are not just 'normal black
shoes' they have studs!
Definitely can be worn with
anything for everything.

Beauty is in the
eye of the
Beholder
There are a thousand definitions of beauty there are
many degrees of each. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Males are visual creatures. In their minds' eye, like the posters
teenage boys hang on their bedroom walls, men have an
inflated idea of beauty. But to see how he really finds beauty in
his surroundings, look at the girl with whom he spends time and

feels most comfortable. She is often the
opposite of the bedroom poster, maybe a
friends, sister, aunt or cousin. She is the one he
enjoys being with most. To be able to laugh with
someone, we must drop our guards. Beauty is
to be free and to act naturally. Oddly, getting
there can be difficult.
Today, messages and information are aimed at
us in very new ways. It is happening faster than
humans can adapt and evolve. Life is
demanding more than we can give. In turn, you
rely on text messages rather than physical
conversation. The heart is missing in our lives
and you must bring it back.
We judge the book by its cover. It's usually
untrue and unwise, but we place a great weight
of importance on the first impression. In truth, a
first impression offers fast, mostly visual cues,
to make an assumption of another. Physical
appearance is the first thing we see and it
becomes our Achilles heel. The first impression
is always the most expensive.
It is expensive because of what we lose. The
priority one sets on appearances in the physical
realm is to deny oneself the quality and beauty
of the spirit. If you choose to focus on the
beauty within, you will receive the value of true
communication with another. To ignore the
essence of another is to deny your own
humanity.
Beauty has always been costly. By the time you
have been plucked, pinched and enhanced, you
can easily spend a fortune on the latest product
or the most popular nip and tuck. The pursuit of
beauty can also deny nature. In the fevered
race to erase a wrinkle, we try to stop time and
the slow and inevitable progress of nature. It is
a fight no human can win. Beauty can also be a
sport or a goal. Can you be more beautiful than
you already are? No. Sure, every car needs a
fresh coat of paint and a few new pin stripes but
the real, true beauty comes from within your
chassis.
There is boldness in choice and people can
easily recognize it in you. To choose beauty,
determines that you have pondered the
question, objectified the issues and made a
choice. You have asked, "What will I project
today? What will I put out into the world?" Then
you choose and follow it through. Embracing
victimhood is a way to lick your past wounds but
it never yields any positive future-oriented
gains. You lead by example. Choose beauty.
Look at a flower as you would look upon a work
of art. Appreciate it. Enjoy it. Relax and just let it
all in. Then look at yourself the same way. You
are a perfect and unique creation of nature, just
like a flower. This may be hard to do and you
must persist through all of the negativity and
voices in your head. Remember those voices do
not speak truth. They are merely the echoes of
insecurity and comic relief. Appreciation for
beauty isn't forced. Beauty cannot be beaten
into you. Beauty must be invited and it must
flow. If you want to exhibit your true nature, all
you can do is let go.
It is hard to let go. These days, with Life howling
around us like a hurricane, we instinctively try to
hang on for dear life. To be beautiful, to live in
the flow, is a monumentally important task that
requires only openness, desire and a few
simple actions.
Silence is the key that unlocks the mystery. A
quiet meditation. Say a prayer. Sit down and
have a little chat with yourself. Open this
door and you will be answered with your
own beauty.
Do something that makes you happy.
Let go and take the time for yourself.
Something simple. Call a friend. Go to a
movie. Get a massage. You do not need
to spend a hundred dollars. Shop, but
don't buy anything, at a flower shop.
Bake a cake. Take a hike. Do something
that is purposed for you. When this
happens, your beauty will begin to show.
Others will recognize it and be drawn to
it. You have allowed your beauty to flow.

It depends if you can survive on your partner's salary alone
or maybe you are a single parent? Simply adding up your
monthly outgoings and subtracting them from your or your
partner's take-home pay may show you can't afford to be a
stay at home mummy. But if you look more closely at
your budget, you may find that there's a way to make it
work.....After all if there’s a will there’s a way right?
Where can costs be cut?
Would You be a Stay at
Start by making a list of all your regular outgoings, such as
mortgage or rent, car payments, utility bills, food,
clothing, insurance, broadband or satellite TV, as well as
contributions to pension schemes and savings accounts
etc.
Next, make a list of other expenses, such as holidays,
evenings out, health club memberships, haircuts,
magazine subscriptions, Christmas and birthday gifts, and
mobile phone contracts – these are all of the pleasurable
items.
Build in a comfortable cushion for unanticipated costs, like
car and home repairs.
Then, keep track of all the other expenses that you may be
less aware of for the next month or so. You could keep a
notepad in your handbag and write down everything you
spend and what you spend it on. Or you could save your
receipts and add them up at the end of each day with the
help of a spreadsheet or phone app.
Once you have added up these extra costs, prepare to be
surprised by what's really draining your bank account.
Maybe it’s buying magazines to
read on the train, or a coffee every
morning before work all adds up!
How much does working cost you?
Working creates its own costs.
How much do you spend on petrol,
parking, bus or train fares? Take
into account how much you spend
on clothing, dry cleaning, lunches
and more. Then there's the cost of
picking up a takeaway for dinner or
buying ready meals because you
don't have time to cook.
Count in childcare expenses. If you
stay at home, you won't be paying
for
a nursery, childminder or nanny. (If
Home Mum?
you're expecting your first child and don't know the going
rate for childcare in your area, do some research so you'll
have a good idea of how much it costs.)
Of course, you're still going to need to buy clothes, eat
lunch, and pay for an occasional babysitter. You wwill
notice these costs will be far lower if you become a stay-at
-home parent.
There may also be some less obvious financial benefits to
giving up your job. You might be entitled to more benefits if
your household income is lower.
What else do I need to consider?
Think about the long-term impact on your job prospects if
you give up work to look after your children. If seek
employment in a few years' time, you probably won't earn
as much as you might have if you had remained
employed.
It could be the case that the longer you stay at home, the
lower your future income will be. The skills needed for your
job may also have changed over time. This could make it
even harder to get back into work in a tough job market.
What can I do if financially there is no easy answer?
All this adding and subtracting should help you decide
whether you can afford to become a stay-at-home mum. If
your partner's income far exceeds all your family's
expenses, or if it falls significantly short, then your decision
will be an easy yes or no.
If the numbers are close, you still
have some thinking to do. With
your new budget in hand, sit down
with your partner and consider
your options. Are there ways to cut
back on your monthly costs? And
are these sacrifices that you're
both willing to make?
If you have decided that you want
to be a stay-at-home parent, start
planning now. Talk to other
parents and see how they
manage. Create a budget and try
to reduce your costs, but do so
gradually. That way you’ll be more
likely to stick to it.

Lisa Jones: “YES... in a heartbeat!! I love my
time with my little girl.” From
www.offwithherheadmillinery.co.uk
Tanya Legon – “I am a registered childminder and I
also own ‘Giggle-Wiggles Mobile Soft play Hire’ which
is a new business. I don't think I could be a stay at
home mum as I get bored very easily, I love my
independence, my own money and the fact I am self
sufficient. However being self employed and having to
cut myself in to more than two sometimes is hard!”
Miss D’Kania -“Let's twist this round - I cannot afford to go to work. The
childcare costs are way too high and my last job's salary wasn't anything
close to covering it all. This is why I am a stay at home mum and run my
business from home.”
Danielle Craig – “I would, so long as money
was good enough that my new career didn't
have to be raising children. I enjoy my children
I work because I have to. While I realize
being home with them would drive me a little
crazy I think I could handle it. I like the domesticated
life. I enjoy taking care of my
home and children way more than working.”
Eddie Bear – “I used to work but once child care was paid for
I had no money to put into the house anyway. I now
concentrate on my business Eddie Bear and catch up on the
time I missed”
Kerrie Grant – “Yep, I only dream
of being a stay at home mum at the
moment.”

Homework
Tips
Kids have to go to school all day and learn
according to a schedule and then they come
home and all they really want to do is relax and
have fun. Homework is something that a lot of
kids have problems with, after all it does infringe
on their free playtime. It can also be hard for
parents as they try and get them to settle down
to doing it after a long day at school. There are
a couple of things parents can do that may help:
After school snack: Have a healthy snack your
child can have when they are picked up from
school, kids can be tired and hungry after
school and something to eat can get the
afternoon off to a good start. For example some
fruit or crackers and cheese, peanut butter on
whole grain bread (sunflower seed butter or
hummus would be an alternative for those with
allergies) . If they attend after school care and a
snack is not provided then be sure to give you
child an extra snack in their bag that they can
eat. Sweets are not a good idea as due to the
high sugar content it may give them energy for
a while but it is used up quickly and they may
then have a sugar slump which won’t help
energy levels for homework.
Quiet place: Pick a quiet place for homework
away from the distraction of tv, computers or
radio. For younger children it may be that they
will need to sit at the kitchen table while a
parent helps them and/or if a parent needs to
make dinner but still needs to be available to
help the child.
Time: Many children find working for extended
lengths of time difficult and they can get tired
and distracted. Set your child a time to spend
on a page of homework, maybe using a sand
timer or kitchen clock. They can see the start
and end time and
this gives them
something to work
towards.
Print some ‘Break
Tickets’: A break
ticket is exactly
what it says, it is a
ticket you can give
your child that they
can use at any time
during the 15 mins
(or whatever the
time you decide is)
to take a break from
homework. They
give you the ticket,
take their 5 min
break (again you
decide the time) and

then start back at their
homework after they are rested.
You may find that this system
helps the child get into a routine
and they feel that they have
some control over their
homework. Try to avoid letting
them watch tv or play computer
games during the break as it
may be hard to get them to start
back to work. Hopefully after a
couple of weeks, you may find
they don’t need the break tickets
anymore as they settle into
routine.
Friday treat: If your child has done well at
completing their homework during the week,
have a reward on Friday afternoon which may
be some homemade muffins/buns, a comic they
like or arranging to play with a school friend.
Teacher. If you feel your child is spending a lot
of time on homework and it is becoming
stressful, speak to your child’s teacher to see if
he/she can help you find a solution.
Homework should not be stressful for children
or parents. Meg

We are running the same competition again due to such a
high demand in entries.
Here’s another chance to win a 1 year free subscription
to the Mini Food Explorers Club where you will receive
the following:
A welcome pack (picture shown)
Also included:
A Weekly activity or mission that will be sent to a
nominated email address
School Holiday activity planner sent by email
Special mailings by email during the year.
Various competitions run during the year.
The question is....
What colour are the people on the mummiez & daddies
logo?
A. Black & white
B. Green & yellow
C. Pink & blue
Email your answer to Claire@mummiezanddaddiezmag.co.uk where all names will be mixed together and 1 will be
selected at random.
Congratulations to last month’s winner Kerrie Grant.
Thank you to all of you who entered.
Send your answers by email to
Claire@mummiezanddaddiezmag.co.uk

Anthropologist Margaret Mead once said that
fathers were a biological necessity, but a social
accident. One of our greatest theorists, Sigmund
Freud, believed that mothers were biologically
suited to be better parents than fathers. In fact,
fathers were relegated to the role of provider and
little else. Harry Harlow’s experiment with rhesus
monkeys promoted the idea of the mother as the
main care-giver. However, male rhesus monkeys
have been shown to make good fathers in the
absence of the female. Many animal studies
support the view that males make good fathers.
Marmoset and tamarin monkeys assume a
fatherly role with their infants, chewing food for
them and even assisting at the birth.
The father’s relationship with his child often
begins as he adjusts to the mother’s pregnancy.
As the baby gets bigger, the father can feel the
baby kicking and turning inside the mother’s
abdomen. The experience of an ultrasound scan
can also heighten feelings of attachment to the
developing foetus.
High interest during the pregnancy has important
consequences for the father’s level of involvement
after the baby’s birth. However, fathers that
want to achieve their goals before the onset of
parenthood may be less involved in the pregnancy
and possibly less committed to parenthood.
The release of certain hormones strengthens the
father’s feelings towards his baby. Although
oxytocin has been noted for its effect on bonding
in the mother and the baby, vasopressin plays a
much bigger role in the father. Vasopressin is
released in response to close physical contact.
During pregnancy, the father becomes more
protective towards the expectant mother and

after the birth; the hormone helps to bond with
his baby. Studies show that most fathers want
to participate in their child’s upbringing from the
start.
Generally speaking, the more actively involved
and interested the father is, the greater the
intellectual development of his children.
This is a notable improvement compared to the
mid 1970s, when fathers devoted less than 15
minutes per day to their children. However, the
total amount of time is less important than the
quality of interaction.
Fathers encourage exploratory skills, which
support the development of independence. They
may also engage in rough-housing activities such
as wrestling and chasing, which reinforce the
notion of self-control. Fathers may also expand
their child’s horizons by playing with toys in nontraditional
ways. For example, he may take a
toy and place it on his head or throw a cushion
instead of sitting on it. Fathers that are good at
playing with their children challenge them to find
new ways of doing things. This has a huge
impact on thinking, reasoning and problemsolving
skills.
Girls that grow up with a loving, involved father
are more likely to have healthy, emotionally
balanced relationships with males in later life.
Boys who grow up with a loving, involved father
are less likely to be violent because they have
learned how to channel their masculinity and
strength in positive ways.
From an early age, babies can tell the difference
between the way in which the mother and the
father interact with them. Fathers may tickle,
tease, bounce, wrestle and throw their children
in the air more than mothers. They may also
encourage competition and independence. By
contrast, the mother’s approach may be gentle,
quiet and sympathetic. The different styles of
play teach the baby that men and women are
different. This understanding is critical for their
development.
The father’s style of talking may be brief and
directive, challenging the child to expand
linguistic skills. The mother’s vocabulary may be
more descriptive, softer and verbally
encouraging.
Children who experience both styles of parenting
are at an advantage because they know how to
communicate with others.
Fathers are one of the most important resources
in the welfare of children in general. It is
essential for them to spend time with their
children. Children grow up so quickly and missed
opportunities are lost forever.
To conclude: It is equally important to have a
mother and father (positively) in a child’s life as
they grow into adult hood, whether the parents
are together or not. Both parents can equally
offer the love, fun and support to meet the
needs of their children.
Gareth Forbes