Hello, Dolly! Libretto

"Champagne!"
MRS. MOLLOY/MINNIE/BARNABY
CORNELIUS
It's once in a lifetime, Barnaby. Champagne, and Neapolitan ice cream, and hot house peaches and Barnaby,
give the band leader a nickel and tell him to play "To A Wild Rose." We want music while we dine.
(TWO WAITERS cross.... ONE takes chicken from OTHER by stabbing it with a shashlik. As they
exit, curtains open left Dining Room)
ERNESTINA
(As she speaks, WAITER who lost chicken enters left)
....Say, this is a cafe, isn't it? Let's dance!
VANDERGELDER
The Vandergelders do not dance, Miss Money. We're Presbyterian.
ERNESTINA
All right, I'll dance myself. Give him two dollars for the bandleader, will you? And tell him to play something
refined…
(With a preliminary wind-up)
….I'm going to do the hootchy-kootchy!
(VANDERGELDER yanks her inside, curtains shut, more WAITER crosses)
BARNABY
All right, Cornelius, I'll send for the band, but promise you won’t order anything else!
(MUSIC UP then VANDERGELDER appears with purse in hand)
VANDERGELDER
You wait here, Miss Money! I'll tell them to play a nice waltz!
(And VANDERGELDER and BARNABY trying to find an available WAITER become embroiled in
the melee which builds as WAITERS move faster and faster until entire clockwork of crossing
WAITERS moves at lightning precision speed. A freeze, and the ballet ends.
Toward end of ballet, VANDERGELDER and BARNABY exit. During applause THEY return)
VANDERGELDER
(To a WAITER SR)
Look you, give this to the bandleader and tell him to play a waltz....
BARNABY
(To ANOTHER WAITER SL, overlapping end of VANDERGELDER)
....Here's a nickel for the bandleader, would you tell him to play a.....
53