Hello, Dolly! Libretto

ACT TWO
Scene 3
The Courtroom..... Judge's Bench SL, Prisoners' Docket SR, in the
courtroom. Meanwhile, MRS. LEVI continues to eat at table
downstage right.
Present are TWO POLICEMEN and RECORDER, JUDGE is at bench,
and squeezed in docket are VANDERGELDER, CORNELIUS, MRS.
MOLLOY, BARNABY, MINNIE, RUDOLPH, AMBROSE, ERMENGARDE
and assorted DANCERS, WAITERS, etc.
JUDGE
…Quiet! Quiet! That's better! Now, you're all charged with disturbing the peace, assault and battery, inciting
to riot, and several other equally serious violations of the law of this city! Is there anyone here to speak in your
behalf? I say, is there anyone here to speak in your behalf?
(Silence. Then MRS. LEVI, who has been eating through the entire scene, crosses to bench and
hands RECORDER her card. He hands it to the JUDGE)
Mrs. Dolly Levi....Counselor at Law!
Your honor....the defense rests!
(Buzz from Docket)
MRS. LEVI
….No, there is no need to call witnesses, ladies and gentlemen, when I see upon that bench a brow that
gleams with honor.... A pair of snow white whiskers that bristle with fair play.... And a nose, I ask you to look
at that nose, ladies and gentlemen….a nose that shines in the night like a flaming beacon of justice! Would you
turn this way a bit, Your Honor, so we can get a better look at your beacon. A living symbol of the motto of this
great land.... E Proboscus Unum! Your Honor, I ask for freedom for my clients and a verdict of guilty for the
only real culprit….Horace Vandergelder of Yonkers, New York!
DollY!
VANDERGELDER
MRS. LEVI
The one man responsible for these grievous charges of willful destruction of private property....
RUDOLPH
A curtain torn, a waiter bruised and a solid gold cup bent….
Cruelty to a poor unfortunate minor….
(ERMENGARDE wails )
Would you mind repeating that, dear....
MRS. LEVI
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