Story - Hartwig Distler

Hartwig K.
Distler

Aneurysm Thank You
A really, really, really cordial thank you to all that helped me to recover !!! I would like to thank everyone from you who supported me. Naming
all the people would be a task on its own. Therefore again many thank to all of you. I would like to express special thanks to the following
people:
Annett Distler-Bach and Maya Sophie, I really love you completely, completely, completely, completely, completely. This is also valid for my
parents Heinrich and Lina Distler and my parents-in-law Bernd and Helga Bach.
Prof. Dr. med. Dr. h.c. mult. M. Brock
Dr. T.-N. Lehmann
Prof. Dr. med. Mario Cabraja
Prof. Dr. med. U. Meier
CA. PD. Dr. Wallasch
Dr. med. K. Schlag
Prof. Dr. med. K.-H. Mauritz
Prof. Dr. med. S. Hesse
Dr. B. Münch
Prof. Dr. med. K. Jendroska
Dr. med. M. Ladleif
Jürgen Graffe Facharzt
Doris Witt-Weller
Barbara Sieberg
Dr. Michelle Brehm
Dr. med. K. Ruschhaupt
Dr. med. Rauchfuss

Prof. Dr. K. Toyka
Dr. med. K. Schmidt
Dr. med. F. Trißler
SIGNAL IDUNA (Health insurance)
Allianz
Annuity Insurance

Aneurysm Hartwig's Story Part 1
14.01.2008
Hartwig Distler
My name is Hartwig Distler. I was born on the 27.04.1967. I had a "Aneurysm" (bleeding brain) and a stroke.
I am married with "Annett" (Distler-Bach) and we have a daughter "Maya Sophie". I love you very, very, very much!
I was getting sick on the 11.08.2005. On my illness, the consequences, but as well the good luck that I had and have, I would like to report in
the next weeks and months.
We are now living at my parents on the country. To my parents "Heinrich" and "Lina" Distler, large thanks and love for the fact that they were
always around and there for us.
That applies also to my parents-in-law "Bernd" and "Helga" Bach. You where always around for us. We love you very much.
Since my short-time memory suffers still much, I have do ask for your understanding for my language, since I often cannot say exactly, what I
to actually would like to express. But each day it is becoming better and better and that is most important! Each day small steps, each day
something new and each day the fascination how complex our brain is. To see, how complex our knowledge is, which we developed over
many years. As bad as is is to suffer from such a disease, at the end I have survived the disease and I am very grateful for these. I have
learned many new variants of my life!

15.01.2008
History
I got sick on the 11.08.2005. Then I lay 5 weeks in an awake coma. I woke up again, when I was on the way to my therapy. In the following a
short description of my disease history.
To the prehistory it is well-known that Mr. Distler suffered from an aneurysm of the Arteria communicans posterior. The aneurysm was
switched off operationally by clipping. A cerebral control angiography showed however that still another small remainder of the aneurysm was
found. A further small aneurysm of the left Arteria ophthalmica was the diagnosis:
Diagnosis:
• Aneurysm of the A. ophtalmica on the left of
• Aneurysmaclippung of aneurysm of the Arteria communicans posterior on the left
• ventrikulo-peritonealen Shunt
• Hydrozephalus malresorptivus
• Osteosynthesis of the left lower leg
• Osteosynthesis with Fixateur of the left lower leg
In September 2006 the aneurysm was clipped.
For the next 3/4 year ran everything problem-free. At the beginning of July 2007 I had an epilepitic attack.
First epelipectic attack at SAB at Communicans-posterior-Aneurysma, left site, with media partial infarct left site, ventrikulo-peritonealer shunt,
condition after Clipping and Coiling of the ACP aneurysm left and Coiling of the Ophthalmica Aneurisma.
The following I recognize my self:
• strong disturbances of concentration, still present but getting better. I still can´t read a sentence from the beginning to the end. Once I
reached the end of a sentence I forgot the beginning.
I ld´ d I h l h ABC i Thi ki l

• I could´t read. I have to learn the ABC again. Thise was taking very, very long.
• The same problem with writing
• A large part of the math-module was defect, writing and thinking
• I did´t dream any more
16.01.2008
First Thoughts - Various
At the beginning I had thought the "whole" thing will be done in half a year and then everything will be done. After a 1/4 year I noticed then that
the whole thing will take much longer. Today I know that the whole thing will take much longer last. How long it will take, I can't tell as well as I
still can't tell whether I get fully ok again. But that is not a reason to give up, instead it is a reason for me to become ambitious. It is interesting
of how many steps complex things are put together and how many individual steps are required to learn something. I noticed and learned from
how many facets individual things are put together.
Most things were "hard to learn". It required every day, a certain continuity. I noticed there what children accomplish in there young years. The
advantage I had was that I knew the goal where to go. Most important was to learn how long it takes "to learn" something. And the importance
of the daily repetition. Over many years always the same thing again and again. The pleasure is that you get everyday a bit faster, slower than
I expected, but improving everyday.
I never have thought about how complex it is to read a clock. Of how many steps are required to do it. The first precondition is to learn
numbers. Then you have to conclude the time from the position of the number and your knowing of the numbers. At six a clock e.g. the pointer
has do be directed to the bottom. But at "18 o'clock it has to go round one full time, but in a sense it remains in the same position. And which
difficulties it makes still today what a "quarter of five" means. It took two and a half year to get there.
17.01.2008
Cut hairs - Sport
This morning was very much strenuous. I have this web page list in Frontpage (program). I did only the resuming sides about the aneurysm.
H ki h li k 1 1/2 h M b hi i h l f d

However to making the list took me 1 1/2 hours. More about this in the next couple of days.
Today I write about cutting hair and about sport.
Cutting hairs
By the aneurysm I had a "shunt", an injury at the head. By the injury at the head my head felt deaf and it was wounded. The cut was very
unpleasant to cut my hairs. I bought therefore a cutter for the hairs. Cutting hairs with a hair cutter for the beard is making "fatigue". It lasts
each time one, to 1 1/2 hours. The beauty is, that several different activities are linked together. The beauty about these is, that it is going
faster every time. The whole handling becomes easier and goes somewhat more smoothly. Surely, that is with everyone the case, but with me
it was particularly at the beginning very difficult to even adjust the beard cutter. It is also good, that you must make several steps after each
other. That all may sound completely banal, but it is importantly that small actions are completed.
Sport
I have begun to make sports beginning of 2007. Each day up to two hours. Sometimes running, sometimes riding a bicycle and some times
Inline Scating. Everything completely slowly and with leisurely. At the beginning I needed all my concentration for the sporty activity, i.e. for
example, running was the only thing I could do this time. After a while I could do some thinking in combination with the sport. The sporty
activity becomes more and more the "secondary matter". First the sporty thing was the main thing, and now I can do again more on more
thinking. When thinking something I now can make two things at the same time, e.g. individual words which you can repeat after individual
times. The intervals should be individual, changing every day. Then you can test how many words you can remember in a certain time. At the
beginning I could not even keep a word for a half minute. In the meantime that became already better. Each day a little more!!!
A small setback was in July 2007 by a epilepitical accumulation. There I stopped sporting for a while. But after some time I started to make
sport again. The medicine was adjusted and I begun again to make sport. And that was super!
By the way, it went today relatively well with writing. Still far away from "normality", however it went very well. If I however must think and write
i f l i i I d ´ h h

in a stressful situation I don´t have a chance.
Side remark: Translating this document was very difficult. It took me five hours to make the translation
18.01.2008
Writing, Reading and Math
As you see, I do dodge around the most important chapters: Reading, writing, Math and concentration. The vocabulary is still missing there, to
express what I really want to say.
The obligation to express yourself is very good. I have learned very much words in the last few days.
My brain is still like a filter. If I read a sentence to the end, I can't say the beginning any more. It became in the meantime much better, but it is
far still from being normal. Again the bottleneck is also here with the "hardware" available. Again it is "exercise, exercise, exercise and again
exercise". The sharp employment of everyday life situation is here very helpful for me. It is important for me that all things are repeated and
repeated and repeated until it almost comes out of the ears. At the beginning I made the situations consciously simple. As time goes by things
get more and more complex. As said, the Alpha and Omega when learning is the regular repetition.
In former times, before the illness everything fit in life together. I always made small step by step and always thought that everything fits well
together. With the illness everything is then completely broken together. By now I know very well that most things I have learned before will be
available again as soon as I get to know the "clue". But I have to learn letters before I can make use of these knowledge. But it is amazing to
see how long it takes to build up these again. As said before, I could read and write without thinking about it. I learned it an it was always there.
And from one day to the next I had to learn characters again. This was necessary to learn writing again. And only if I did these, I could manage
to write full sentences again. I have recognized that many things will be there again as soon as I have learned the basics again.
Each day a piece more, first of all only a few characters, then more and more. At the moment I am still far away from normal writing, but it
improves every day. At the beginning it took many hours to write only a few characters. But it took 2 1/2 years to get there.
As said I had used every situation to learn consciously. This attitude helped me much. Important was for me as well that I had much pleasure
on many things. I have used everything to learn out of it.
A h l "C k" Af I b i h "C k" k A d i ill k l f f !

A strong help was "Cogpack". After one year I begun with "Cogpack" to work. And it still makes a lot of fun!
As said, the Alpha and Omega is doing it again and again.
19.01.2008
Colors - Living on a farm
Troubles with recognizing colors
Since the beginning, 2 1/2 years, I have difficulties with recognizing colors. Seeing the colors themselves is working perfectly. But saying the
colors correct is still a problem. As I said, seeing the colors is not a problem, but then saying the correct name of the color is the problem. The
connection between the color and the name is making troubles. This means, if I must name the color the trouble starts. If I must provide a link
between "seen" red and the name "red". At the beginning it was more or less coincidental what I produced there. Now after 2 1/2 it still makes
some trouble, it is yet not problem-free, but much better again. But it still costs me a still effort to create these link.
Living on a farm
We have lived until June 2007 in Berlin. Then we moved to the country, to my parents. As long as you live in a city you don't recognize it, but
as soon as you are moving to the country site you will recognize it. The constant noise in a city makes you a bit jerky. If you can concentrate
on a source it is not a problem, but during my sickness I had trouble when trying to concentrate on a source. It is getting better now, but it still
creates some trouble.
My parents went in the meantime into pension. So in a sense we don't have a farm any more, in terms of working. But on the surface of the
yard these is still many little things to do.
Most things are done by my parents, but every now and then I also can make a contribution. And each thing makes a lot of fun. Besides it
helps a lot to learn again to do some manufacturing things.
A certain disadvantage of the life on the country is the fact, that due to my epilepsy I am not allowed to drive a car. Thus I am always a bit
dependent or it takes more effort to get to a place. That was somewhat simpler in the city. The advantage is that you consider more carefully
what you really want. If I really want something, then I can go with the bicycle to the next train station.

20.01.2008
Left and Right
It was actually always difficult for me to correctly make a difference between left and right. But with my illness it became even worse. The
difficult thing is not only having to make a difference between left and right. It is just one of the difficulties. It is the number of things I have to
do. And is takes very long to learn such "simple things" as "left" and "right". After two years I still have some difficulties to decide weather left or
right. My daily schedule is in the meantime completely filled. And still I have new ideas. Sometimes it is relatively difficult to reject new ideas
simply because I don't have the time. Simply because I do not have the time, and must therefore cancel many new ideas.
On some days it is very hard to get motivated. To learn things again that I learned many, many years already. Now I have to learn them again.
But fortunately these days are relatively rare with me. There fortunately my neurobiological training comes into the "play" (before I made myself
independent in the simulator technology then). On many places a kind of curiosity arises in me. In the meantime I understood many things
more correctly (better), but it is still difficult to make a mew calibration. But these is something I need to think about myself, to have a good idea
of what is going on .... but everything has a good "site" :-) ...
It is really difficult to make a new calibration every day. Each day so many things happen to me, Each day they have do be newly calibrated.
I am each day always grateful for the fact that I survived. I enjoy each day, which I have the luck to live.

21.01.2008
CV
Curriculum Vitae
Hartwig Kurt Distler
born on the 27.04.67 in Neustadt/Aisch
Address
Education
Hartwig Distler
Ezelheim 42
91484 Sugenheim
email: mad@vrtainment.de
1973-1977 Basic schoolin Sugenheim
1977-1986 High school in Scheinfeld
1986 Final exam at school (1.9)

1987-1993 Studyof Biology in Würzburg and Tübingen
1993 Diploma Exmination (Total note 1.0)
Main subject: Biological Cybernetics
Site subjects: Electronic and Microprozessors, Biological Psychology, Microbiology
1993-1994 Diplomarbeit am Max-Planck-Institut für Biologische Kybernetik in Tübingen. Thema: Die Rolle von Augenbewegungen bei der
Wahrnehmung der Länge von Linien.
10.1994-1999 Doctor work on the Max-Planck-Institut for biological cybernetics in Tübingen. Topic: Perception in virtual worlds.
27.05.2003 Completion of the doctor work: Perception in virtual worlds
2003
Allmann-Ward, M., Venor, J., Williams, R., Cockrill, M., Distler, H.K.,
Crewe, A., Heinz, T. (2003). The Interactive Simulator as a Practical Engineering Tool. SAE-2003-01-1505
Crewe, A., Distler, H.K., Heinz, T. (2003). Simulator Sound Objects - A Proposal for an Open standard on Sound Components for Driving
Simulators.
SAE-2003-01-1440

2000
Distler, H. K., Gegenfurtner, K. R., Hawken, M. J., Van Veen, H. A. H. C. (2000). Velocity constancy in a virtual reality environment.
Perception, 2000, 29, 1423-1435
1998
Distler, H. K., Van Veen, H. A. H. C., Braun, S. & Bülthoff, H. H. (1998). Untersuchung komplexer Wahrnehmungs- und
Verhaltensleistungen des Menschen in virtuellen Welten. [Studying complex aspects of human perception and behaviour in virtual
environments] In I. Rügge, B.Robben, E. Hornecker, F.W. Bruns (Ed.) Arbeiten und begreifen: Neue Mensch-Maschine-Schnittstellen, Lit-
Verlag
van Veen, H. A. H. C., Distler, H. K., Braun, S. J. & Bülthoff, H. H. (1998). Navigating through a Virtual City: Using virtual reality
technology to study human action and perception. Future Generation Computer Systems, 14, 231-242
Distler, H. K., Pelah, A., Bell, A. G. & Thurrell, A. E. I. (1998). The perception of absolute speed during self-motion. Perception, ECVP `98
Distler, H. K., Gegenfurtner, K. R.(1998). Einfluß der Größe bekannter Objekte auf Geschwindigkeitskonstanz. [The influence of object
size on velocity constancy.] In Bülthoff, Fahle, Gegenfurtner & Mallot (eds.), Proceedings 1. Tübinger Wahrnehmungskonferenz, p. 48,
Knirsch Verlag Kirchentellinsfurt, Germany.
Distler, H. K., Van Veen, H. A. H. C., Braun, S. J., Bülthoff, H. H., Heinz, W. & Franz, M. (1998). Navigation in real and virtual
environments: Navigating a virtual landscape.
Distler, H. K., Van Veen, H. A. H. C., Braun, S. J., Bülthoff, H. H., Heinz, W. & Franz, M. (1998). Navigation in real and virtual environments:
Navigating a virtual landscape. In M. Göbel, J. Landauer, U. Lang, M. Walper (Ed.) Virtual Environments `98 – Proceedings of the
Eurographics Workshop, Springer Wien, New York.
Müll K R &Di l H K (1998) C i l ff h Sh lf“ C il bl d h d d f h d f ? P ibili i

Müller, K.R. & Distler, H.K. (1998). „Commercial off the Shelf“ – Can available products cover the demands of the armed forces? – Possibilities
and Risks – Customer oriented product development. In DWT - Simulationstechnik: Ziele, Aufgaben- und Einsatzbereiche
1997
Distler, H. K., Gegenfurtner, K. R., Van Veen, H. A. H. C. & Hawken, M. J. (1997). Velocity constancy in virtual reality environments.
Investigative Ophthalmology & Visual Science, Vol. 38, No. 4, #370.
1996
Distler, H.K., Bülthoff, H.H. (1996). Velocity perception in 3D environments. Perception, 25 (Supplement), 58b.
Distler, H.K. (1996). Psychophysical Experiments in Virtual Environments. In: Virtual Reality World 96 Conference Documentation,
München 1996: Computerwoche Verlag AG.
1994
Distler, H.K. (1994). Die Rolle von Augenbewegungen beim Vergleich der Länge von Linien. [The role of eye movements in the
perception of line length] Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen.
Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität
Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen. Diplomarbeit, Universität Tübingen.

22.01.2008
Images of me
1967 1987
young man Birth with 20
1967 1990
first version half of a year the wild one
1969 1992
second 2 years version
1970 1993
third 3 years version

1987
young man with 20
1995
Cheers!
1990
first version of the wild one
1997
Presents
1992
second version
1999
Disney
1993
third version
2000
in Egyptian

2004
in Berlin 2004
2006
on the farm
2008

23.01.2008
My daily routine
In the meantime I have a very regular daily routine. I get up between 4:30 and 5 o'clock. Then I have 2 hours to read my emails, to do
something "Cogpack" (a computer program) and like now, write over my illness.
My dear sunshine stands gets up at 6:15 and our little sunshine gets up 7:00. My wife goes working then and I take care of our little lady. It
takes some time for her to get everything done. She always wants to do it on her own, but in many case can't do it at the moment. Then we
have breakfast with granny and grandpa together. Then it goes into the kindergarten. Since my epilepsy I am not allowed to drive a car.
Therefore the grandpa drive her with the car to the kindergarten. I am just joining them. From the kindergarten I go to making sports. I use the
time when making sports to count numbers or to do some thinking.
Then I have 2 1/2 hours for me to learn, to write, to make Math or learn type writing or some other learning. Then Maya comes home and we
have lunch at home. After the meal for Maya she goes to sleep for some time. I also join here for a quarter of an hour.
Then I learn again. In the afternoon Maya is with my wife. I spend most of the time to learn and to do some smaller things for me. And then it is
already time for dinner. After that we play all together are then bring Maya to bed. One of us goes asleep with Maya (at least until she sleeps),
h h h i d h /hi If I h "f " I ll d l i h TV I h b d b

the other one has some time to spend on her/his own. If I have "free", I normally do some learning or watch TV. I then go to bed between
21:30 - 22:00.
Due to my epilepsy I try to keep a regular life time. Always getting up at the same time and going to bed at the same time. On the weekend
normally sleeping a bit longer. As I said, with the epilepsy it is most important to have a regular sleep. And not like in young years to go
sleeping at different times.
24.01.2008
"Search for the butter"
It is still difficulty to find determined things on the table. That generally depends very much of the daily form. If I am for example on the search
for butter, that goes the following way: First of all I forgot what I was searching in a couple of seconds. Of course I know that it stands on the
table, but I do not know exactly what I search. Then I must try to limit, to which category does it belong? Normally that happened within
seconds, but for me it takes very lang. But with me it can partly take over one minute. Preselection is partly rather lengthy. If I know what I am
searching for it normally goes quite ok. Sometimes it can take very long until I found what I was looking for.
Applies also here as well: It already become much, much became. But it is amazing out of how many single steps the searching is build up. In
the "normal life" the first steps are relatively fast processed. It was not noticeable to me at all in the "normal life". Only as I got the disturbance
by the illness, I noticed how importantly individual steps are really.
If certain information is no longer available, you will notice there something is lacking and then you recognize how long it take then.
25.01.2008
In the Kitchen
If I sometimes cook - which happens extremely rarely in the meantime - I come relatively fast into problems, as soon as I use more than one
stove plate. With one stove plate it is in the meantime problem-free. But as soon as I use 2, 3 or 4 stove plates I am fast getting to a chaos. It
becomes particularly clear with four stove plates. Already alone the fact that I must take care of four stove plates the same same time is very
demanding for me. If it goes into the final phase, I am often overtaxed. Alone the coordination there already makes excessive use of my
demands. As said, with one stove plate there is no more topic. But as soon as I must make several things simultaneous, I am relatively fast
d

overtaxed.
Cross word mystery
At the beginning I was already glad, if I had created a pair of letter in 10 minutes. There wasn't a chance to make something accurate. I always
carried the solution of the cross word mystery with me. Simply in order to get again a feeling for the characters. After 2 1/2 years I am now
ready to make some solutions. But is still mix up the characters sometimes. Still relatively little, but nevertheless I get already some of them
correctly. For the remainder I must still look still into the solution of the cross word mystery. But that is also a good exercise, since I must note
the words correctly in that exercise. And it is simply beautiful to see, how it becomes each day a bit better.
Scanning
Again such a small exercise. Scanning of a page into the scanner on the computer. The first task was to bring the scanner back to running.
That took already 2 days, in order to bring the scanner back to running. Then to get everything working again took 3-4 days. But it is so
beautiful to sit again at the computer. At the beginning nothing worked at all, but with the time I developed something like a "feeling for the
computer". I should add that I was programming driving simulators before my illness. And each day it becomes a bit more what I can do at the
computer. By my abilities in former times I am still far, far, away, but a beginning is made.
I had already said it once, but I remark it again: It is amazing what I learned before my illness. One just does not notice it, how many thing you
can do. Only by my illness I got aware of how many individual things my knowledge is made of.
26.01.2008
Learning English
I started to learn English again relatively fast after getting sick. At the beginning nothing worked. No more letters, as said, nothing more at at.
Then I concerned myself on learning the characters again in German. At that point I only was doing the little communication in German. After
half a year I began again to learn English. I should perhaps mention that my English was relatively good before my sickness. As said, I have
started again after half a year to make English again. At the beginning it were only words, then at some point simple sentences, and then more
complex sentences.
In the end I hang in English nearly at the some problems as in German. Reading is still very slow. If I read, I only read, but I cannot
understand. As said before, at many places I had the some types of problems in both languages. But in both languages it make a lot of fun to
be able to read and write again. It will take some time, until I can read and write again problem free. But a beginning is made. And even more
i i k f

important, it make fun.
Writing about my sickness was also very important. Also in English. Still I am a bit ahead, when writing in German. There the writing is still
more "fluent". In English I used "Babel Fish". These was a very good basis. But the linguistic tuning must be done by yourself. Here as well
everything goes in good steps ahead. As well is the looking for words in both directions a good exercise.
Until I look up a word in the translation book, it still takes very long. But that is only a question of exercise.
27.01.2008
Numbers
Counting with numbers was and is still very difficult. I still have difficulties with it. At the beginning even counting up to nine was difficult for me.
I functioned at the beginning more or less like a random number generator. With the time it improved then. The next step was counting to 99. I
here got difficulties with sorting the numbers. It is somehow easier to explain with there numbers up to 999. If I have the number of 127 for
example, the speaking goes in such a way in German: First the "1", then the "7" and then the "2". Even today it is still very difficult to me. If one
would make it "172", it would be ordered much more logically, but it is "127". It would be nice, if someone could explain to me why they made
these? The numbers are always packed as a triple. Why is it like that?
A further characteristic lies in the mode, which I use. If I count only mental, that can be done in the meantime "to some extent well". As soon as
I speak however loud, I start do disorder again the numbering? I would also be very grateful for solutions here!
If I count momentarily numbers to 9999, then it can be done at least in mental mode "ok", but with the number is getting larger I have these
problems again. E.g. 432467981 still take very long do get this correct. It becomes a bit better when I use the "triple" strategy: 432 467 981 I
get much faster to a result. The whole thing is already somewhat more structured. If I am allowed to make it on paper, it goes substantially
better, as if I am only allowed to "speak".
Here applies as well: Each day it becomes a bit better. Each day a little more. And again I can only say, how complex the hole thing is! It would
sometime of course be very nice if things would go a bit faster. But then one would not notice, from how many components everything is set
up.

28.01.2008
Reading and Writing, Part 1
At the beginning ever reading and writing was very difficult. In the meantime I am already much further. Reading and writing is depending a bit
on the daily form, but as compared with 2 1/2 before it became much better.
If I read something, then it is still somewhat coming to a hold, however it became much, much better. At the moment I am at a stage at which
reading is quite ok, but I cannot understand what I am reading. Thus reading some extent goes is ok, but all my concentration is occupied by
reading, I do not understand what I am reading. In order to get to the understanding, I need some time after reading in order to put things
together fully.
Sometimes I notice also, how I read somewhat completely different to what I am actually reading. Only at certain words it gets noticeable to
me then, that I read something completely different. That is somewhat amusing, but since I that these will be managed at sometime I don't
worry about it.
With some articles reading goes in the meantime nearly "automatically", with other articles it is still very, very slow and stocking. If I read a
certain style already some times, it is fast improving. If I how every didn't read that style it is going very slow and stocking.
I guess that I am working in a simple "statistical machine". I just must read something often enough to learn the reading.
29.01.2008
Reading and Writing, Part 2
At the beginning of my illness I could neither read nor write. There you recognize how difficult it is to setup a communication with someone
else. At one time one has no more means and ways to make itself understandable. I wanted, but I didn't have any "tools". How do I
communicate without reading and writing?
Reading and writing is not something that you can learn in a day or two. It takes very long and you have to learn to be patient. After 2 1/2 years
is the character spell again to a certain extent there, but it still does not run "automatically". Still a certain effort stands behind it. But it is
already much, much better.
I h l d b ll d i i i (l ) A h b i i I ld i l f l O h d d I l f

I have learned verbally and in writing (letters). At the beginning I could say or write only a few letters. One hour passed and I only got a few
letters finished. After some time I always wrote the characters pre site (every site), or I spelled a character for some time. At the beginning I
adhered strictly the order ("ABC"). After some time I selected the letters purely coincidentally. Then I began with large and lower case. At the
beginning I wrote each character for one page. Then with the time I began to write the characters randomly. At the beginning I wrote small and
large letters separate, but after some time I mixed them all. The whole process lasted up to more than one year. I naturally made other little
things in the meantime (learned).
Then I made very short sentences. I made "child sets". And then sometime more complex sentence. Always all piece for piece. Always a little
more. Both reading and writing are still very far away from normality. You have to learn to get patient. And always learn, learn, learn and learn
to get practice again. I repeat it very often that it is the "Alpha" and "Omega" of learning.
During the writing I often notice, that I don't get the correct letter. It takes there some moments until I identify the correct letter. I have already
written that before, that during reading I sometimes recognize that I read something different completely different from what I actually read.
My daughter I now three. Fortunately I can already again to some extent read for her. Above all that is also a good exercise. Especially it is
good that I have to read stories many times, reading it again and again. For example I read out the jungle book in this month already 20 times.
And every time it gets better and better!
30.01.2008
Name memory
I have still difficulties to notice names. The whole thing begins already with the discussion of name. I have always thought that the learning of
names should be very fast. But that is not the case, instead it goes very difficult to recognize and remember names. I remember vaguely that
the name memory is decreasing with the age, but that alone cannot be the reason for it. There must be more behind it. One of the problems is
surely that reading and writing of the names is very difficult. I can note a person relatively fast, but not the name. Even with persons from the
family circle it took a very long time to remember their names. I.e. to connect their faces with their names. It became somewhat better in the
meantime, but it is still far away from being normal.
If you read foreign names, e.g. a Russian one, or a Japanese, or Chinese one it is very difficult to put the names together. With such names it
can take very long to get it correct. This is including the pronouncement which is often very difficult. Reliably, there I had problems before my
illness already often determine names to express be able. Of course, I had already those problems before I got ill, because it was always
diffi l h ll bl B i h h b f O f h b h h i ll bl

difficult to pronounce such syllable correct. But it went much more smooth before. One of the reasons my be that the appropriate syllables are
not yet there available. I mean with that how syllables are pronounced.
31.01.2008
I had giant luck
I had "giant luck" that I have survived all this. My wife Annett, my daughter Maya, my parents and my parents-in-law I want to think from the
deep of my hard. Thanks that you were always where around. But also a large "thanks" on my will to survive. Each day which I am allowed to
join you all, I enjoy two or three times more. It is simply beautiful that I still can be around.
01.02.2008
Mathematics
Some things of math we have already discussed partly as we discussed the numbers. That is also my main problem with mathematics. Here
applies as well: All my concentration goes for something which is normally easy to do. Counting of numbers. It is still very difficult to do simple
calculation of numbers, like e.g. 212 + 121 or 391 - 236 or 19 * 11 or 70: 5. Most of the time goes there "lost" with finding the correct words.
And I still have to consider the arithmetic rules, getting those correct. Especially the signs "+", "-", ":" and "*" takes a lot of time. As well as
switching between numbers and signs. Above all switching numbers after the calculation method makes very large difficulties. Thus for
example 132 "plus" 18. Switching numbers after the indication and then back again.
The same applies e.g. 1.8 + 0.9 to the "point" sign. That is still somewhat more difficult than before. Here you have two additional "." to the
rules.
Here applies as well: Exercise makes faster. I became much faster, my whole thinking is getting faster and more "fluent". At present switching
between number and operational sign still needs to much time. But like I said before, in the last 2 1/2 years it became much, much better.

02.02.2008
Phobias (fear conditions)
I had some Phobias, i.e. fear conditions in some time of my life. However, in the last years it calmed down. When exactly it started to calm
down I can tell. But I think that it happened five or six years ago.
Essentially there are two Phobias, moving in different direction. On the one site fear of free places, on the other site fear of e.g. elevators. I
think that it is the fear of dying behind that. But this is only my "assumption".
The first time it appeared at the age of 15 to 16. Some days were completely relaxed, some days were very difficult. The whole thing took
about two years, but the calmed down.
At the age of 21 I had masers. That is actually a childhood disease. The whole thing lasted for four weeks and some more time to recover from
it.
Then the Phobias came back at the age of 22. I stopped studying for one year and stayed the time with my parents. Some of these days were
very difficult. I got accumulations, got partly no more air and trembled over hours at the whole loaf. After one year I began to study again, then
directly also changed places. It has taken over 10 years until I had it under full control. However the last years everything went relatively
smooth. Over the time I had learned to arrange myself.
Important was to me, that I was always "busy". I always had something to do. During this time I learned many things. I developed a variety of
interests. That is one of the things I will always be proud of.
03.02.2008
Parallel Processing
It is still difficult or in most cases impossible to process things in parallel. In the meantime I can work things with several individual steps. Thus
step 1, step 2, step 3... those are processed in successive steps. Depending upon the task the number of things I can do has become more.
But still it is very, very difficult to process things in parallel or even impossible. It is like a bottleneck in the memory. I forget relatively "fast" what
I ki I b h b i h 2 1/2 b i i ill f f b i

I was working on. It became much better in the 2 1/2 years, but it is still far away from being.
That is still a thing that concerns me a bit. As said, I am sure that reading, writing and mathematics will get ahead "relatively fast". But I an sure
that I will be able to get it done. Also with the sequential working I am sure that I will be able to manage these. That is only a question of time
and training. But I am still a bit worried about parallel processing. Doing things in parallel still worries me. There I did not find yet the correct
handles. But time and advice will come. A solution will come there as well.
04.02.2008
The Keyboard
We have already been talking about the characters. But I want to do it again. It is really amazing how long it takes to learn something airtight. I
started to do my writing on paper and verbally. Then I started using the PC more of then. It took more than half a year to find the "right" keys
on the keyboard. I did try many different strategies including typewriters teaching. It needed several thousand key strikes to learn striking keys
again. And still I notice that I have a certain hesitation until I strike the correct key. That is still a sign for not being sure that I had taken the
"right character". It happens especially at characters that I barely use. If I for example try to use "+" or the "#" it still lasts some time until I found
the correct key.
Dreams
I had nearly one and half a year no more conscious dreams. I do not think that this is something tragically. But it is one thing worth to
mentioning it.
05.02.2008
Writing sentences
At the beginning I had to learn again characters. Then I began to copy sentences again. Since my memory is still very short-lived, I still have
forgotten at the end of the sentence what I wanted to say at the beginning. Which some what more complicated words this was even at the
beginning not possible. However it is a good possibility to learn new words. And especially at the beginning that is necessary. At the beginning
these where just words like "I" or "you" where difficult, by now much things improved very much. In the meantime my vocabulary has grown
very much. The exercise is now to remember some words - thus a set of words or parts of a sentence - and then to write them without looking
h l I h i I d di h i i f ki i h fi d

at the template. In the meantime I, depending upon the organization of a sentence, am working with two to five words.
Text on two computers compare
I write a text on two computers. Into one version I insert some errors. Then I wait for one or several days to read the text again. I read then the
original and the changed copy in parallel and try the to find the errors. Here it is primarily not the orthography that I am interested in. I am
instead more interested to find the right positions in the text. I have problems whenever I read longer sentences at a piece. Then I have
problems to find the correct place again, where I stopped to read. Whenever I read the original and the manipulated copy in parallel. This is
something that I make e.g. by using Word. And then I have to search my errors. I do this by reading the text on the left side and then on the
right side, trying to find the errors. Especially at longer chapters I have difficulties to find the right position. With this exercise it gives relative
many variants which the length of the chapter.
07.02.2008
Pride on what I achieved
If I did not write that yet: I am very, very proud on what I did get done in the meantime. As I said, I was convinced at the beginning that
everything would be done in half a year. With the time I learned that these estimate was false. But I am very proud of what I did in the last 2
1/2 years. Also the fact that it lasts very long until knowledge has solidified itself. That is probably one of the most important experiences,
which I made during this time. For some people that may be trivial. But for me that was not trivial.
To notice that from one day to the next my "tools" where taken away. And how laborious to is to develop these tools again. After all that it was
a much helpful experience. Now after I learned the characters again laboriously, many things re-established themselves "on their own". I notice
now that many things were still there, just made a break during that period. Only at this point I did notice, how importantly the presence of
fundamental things is. As said, I for my part noticed only then, why it lasts so long to build something from the scratch. Normally one learns
piece by piece, everything goes in continuity. One does not notice at all, how difficulty actually learning is. That I was simply suppressing. And
only by the blow-out of my aneurysm it became clear to me, how difficult and lengthy the process of learning is. But as well, how much behind
all that is.
It was important that I had my beloved behind all this. Annett, my daughter Maya, my mother Line, my father Heinrich, my mother-in-law Helga
and my father-in-law Bernd. Without their support I would have had no chance.

08.02.2008
Car signs
Car sings can in Germany be used very well to learn the differences between numbers and characters. We take e.g. NEA - ZA -NEA. "NEA" is
the region from which the vehicle comes. By this you know from where the vehicle comes from. Other examples are "M" for Munich, "B" for
Berlin or "F" for Frankfurt. "ZA" are one or two characters in random order (at least to my knowledge). And then a number, in this case "123". I
have and I learn thereby still letters and numbers together. It is still difficult to me to learn the difference between characters and numbers and
reverse. The beautiful thereby is that the whole is not purely randomly. First the shortened name of the place where the car comes from, then
purely coincidental characters and then a combination of up to four number digits.
That was a perfect thing as long as we lived in Berlin. At the beginning I had to remain standing before each car and then it took some time
until I got all the information I needed. By now it goes already with normal foot speed. But now we life on the country and it is a bit difficult to
"find enough cars". But as soon as I come to a city, I do it again.
Another good exercise is the indication of the date. Thus e.g. 27.04.1967. First you have a number of one or two digits, then a ".", which is
relatively difficult to me. Then again one or two numbers, then again "." and then again four numbers. I is a quite good thing to check an
encyclopedia, which gives a good variation of numbers. And you still can have some variations in e.g. doing the month written in full numbers,
thus e.g. "April".
10.02.2008
Images and Names
I almost forgot this. But I spent a year on this. I spent nearly one year on this to see pictures and to name them. First I say the picture and then
I tried to find the correct name. Since I did not know how to write at the beginning, my wife wrote the names of the pictures on the rear side of
the pictures. At the beginning it was really like I did see the picture, but I couldn't name it. That has taken again very long. After a certain time, I
viewed each day 600 pictures. I can't remember how long it took, but at the end of doing that it took me about 30 minutes to see and correctly
recognize all pictures. Here a pair of examples:

11.02.2008
Characters
I bought relatively early large letters (see illustration). For me the investment was worthwhile a lot. You get a much better feeling when
touching the letters. I spent nearly half an hour each day with that. You get a much better feeling when touching the characters.

12.02.2008
Letter and syllables
I started to write character in the computer in different sizes, different directions and small and large letters. At the beginning I had for example
difficulties to remember characters in case they were not horizontally oriented.
Lately I have began to use syllables to create words. Syllables are the next semantic unit in the language. Here I started reading right now.
13.02.2008
First Summary
What did I learn in the last 2 1/2 years, how am I ? I have learned the enjoy the live estimate. I enjoy each day on the new. I know now that the
life is a gift. I forgot that in the daily hectic.
Important for me was that I never gave up. I was nearly always of good hope that I will make it. Naturally the whole took much longer than I
thought. But afterwards I have learned much more to get an better estimate of what I achieved. It probably will last much more time, until I get
to an acceptable level at reading, writing and math.
An important knowledge is confirmed: Without diligence, no price. Therapies are only a small stone of the entire mosaic. Therapies can give
new ideas, of what to do. But daily practicing is the most important thing to learn new things.
One of the most important things is to enjoy your live and be happy. I was very importantly for me also that I always had my family around.
That was what I wanted to say for the moment. At some point I will at one or the other thing. If my wife finds the time, she will represent the
whole thing from her view.

Aneurysm Hartwig's Story Part 2
20.02.2008
Writing of Numbers
One again the writing of numbers. In the first part it concerned more reading and expressing from numbers, and the problems which I thereby
have. I have a similar problem with writing the numbers. If I write a number, then one writes in the ascending order. Thus if I write the number
of 172, then I write last the "1", then to "7" and then the "2". If I however read the number in the thought, then first there is the "1", then the "2"
and then at the end the "7". I first practiced the reading. That is now more or less to some extent what I can do. However if I must write a
number, I must "reposition" the numbers on demand. However since I remembered very intensively the reading, there comes when writing the
number in my thought it traverses "1", "2" and "7" into the game and it lasts some time to get it right again. But exercise makes the master.
Thus continue to practice!
By the way, also during reading in English some things are a bit confusing, it is somewhat less than in German, but nevertheless there is some
confusion. "zero", "one", "two", "three", "four", "five", "six", "seven", "eight", "nine" here is still all ok, but then it goes again somewhat crosswise:
"ten", "eleven" , "twelve", "third-teen", "four-teen", "fifteen", "sex-teen", "seventeen", "eighteen", "nineteen", here again the reverse sequence.
From that point on it goes again in order, "twenty", "twenty one", "twenty two" etc.. In contrast to German, however it is the "correct" order.
Thus while in German the number of "23" starts with "3" and ends with the "2" (twenty-three"), it is reverse in English. Thus the is first the "2"
and then there is the "3".
If you once one learned the numbering, then that is not problem at all, but until you can it there, it will last some time.
22.02.2008
In the forest
I was some days ago with my father in the forest. We were afforesting. That is an activity, which I can make, since I must apply thereby no
large concentration, and/or it is an activity for which my concentration is sufficient. It was a lot of fun. There was fresh air and it was pleasantly

warm. My mind was kind of free. I thought about the forest and how beautiful it is there. Then, suddenly my brain got stuck. I wanted to
remember what I normally did during day time. Normally I am learning and writing this story. I did not get a clue for one hour. I knew where I
am at home, but for am hour I didn't have an idea, what I normally do each day. I have tried to set all levers in motion, but no chance. Only
after one hour I came to the point what I normally did. And from then on it went again on it's own. Simply the correct memory aid was missing,
between what I normally do, and what I did these day. On such days it becomes even more obvious to me, how holey my brain still is. But here
as well is the important thing not to give up and try to solve the situation. Not desperately trying too, but also not giving up. For me it was an
important experience to go through.
24.02.2008
Syllable
For a long time I was dealing with characters. Reading and writing characters. As I said, afterwards it seemed as it was taking a decade of
years. And still I have this hesitating, if I have to read or write a character. That all became much better, but as said, a certain hesitation is still
there.
I have started to work with syllables some time ago. I could not imagine that it will take such a lot of effort. But now I know that it takes very
long to get there to a certain point. It makes a difference whether after a "A" there is a "n" or a "l" or a "b". I mean here purely loud technical.
Therefore I have begun to "learn syllables". As an example we take the Word "hy-phe-nat-ion". The word consists of 4 syllables. We seem to
learn with the time, which letter combination makes sense, and which not. "Name" makes a sense, "Aenm" has also four letters, however
makes no sense. In the course of time we learn thus which we use and which not. It also seems to be like some characters are more important
than others. But here I have to read a little bit more.
26.02.2008
The many things I did
When I begun to write my disease history, I thought I will be done in a week. However I soon recognized that this was an error. Only if I was
intensively occupied with the thing, I noticed, how many individual components build up the live. And new components emerge again and
again, which I did not consider at all. The things, which one uses several times a daily, go very fast into normality. "More interesting" is the
thing with those things which are rarely used. Some things you only use once a year. I mean those things which you even don’t know that they

are there. I try now to strengthen the examination of everything, whether everything is still there, and/or how much things were damaged. I try
to test thus consciously whether it everything is still there. That is not topic at all if you know that something is still there, still available. It is
more difficult for things which you have forgotten either or for things which are so heavily damaged that you can not even tell that they are
there. It might for some of you sound amusing, but I am on a discovery journey with myself. And new things come to the daylight which do not
function completely as they should do. But still overall many things do function well for me. That is one of the important things, which I learned:
It is not natural that all that functions in such a way.
28.02.2008
Remember names
I have already mentioned it that it is still very difficult for me to notice and express names for me. Since this time I have looked in the internet
for names and tried to get the naming correctly. That is relatively helpful and makes, at least for me, a lot of fun. I should perhaps collect and
note the names in the internet for me. Then I could go and practice regularly to it.
01.03.2008
Small compact Riddles
Each day I make tasks in "Cogpack". A group which makes special difficulties for me are tasks of text which require me to make a link. An
example: "A wholesaler buys 10000 screws for 400 Euro. He packs it in 50's packs and sells it for 4 Euro. Per pack he has packing costs of 1
Euro. How many Euro of profit makes that?". With this question five pieces of information are hidden behind that. However I can only manage
two pieces of information at the same time. The rest has to be done serializing the information pieces. That makes the task so difficult for me.
It takes a lot of time until I have gathered all the information. It becomes from day to day a little more. But it takes a lot of time until I get to the
final goal.
03.03.2008
Difficulties with writing

For most of the characters typewriting on the computer is quite ok. Only some of the characters are causing problems. I still got problems with
the following characters: ",", ";", ".", ":", "-", "_", "#", "'", "+", "*" and "?". Some of these are barely being used in “normal” live. And that is the
difficulty about that. How do I learn such characters? If I tap a "a" or a "b" it takes some time, but it “does enters the brain at some point”. It is
just a matter of exercise. Behind the "a" and the "b" there is still a sense. But it is difficult for me to find such a sense behind a "_" or ":". “To get
a sense” behind a character that would make life much easier. Of course I could tap a special character many times, but that would not fix the
problem. Instead I did the following. I wrote some words. Every word starts a new line, e.g.
Abby
Abelina
Abigail
Adelaide
Adeline
Adina
Adrienne
And now the exercise begins. I insert e.g. "_", and remove the “enter”. The text reads as follows: Abby_ Abelina_ Abigail_ Adelaide_ Adeline_
Adina _ Adrienne_. For most of you that is not a problem. But for me that is still difficult. I have a new character “_” and I remove the “enter”. I
normally use many words in such an exercise. By that I get familiar to the characters and I also add a character each line. At least for me it is a
good exercise and it has some sense.
05.03.2008
Again characters
I made something new with characters, syllables and numbers. Thereby I got on the following problems. I had a selection of large or small
characters. My task was so order that in alphabetical order. Thus the following was:

? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
The characters are sorted in alphabetical order. For this purpose I got characters in random order which I should order alphabetically. Thus
e.g. so:
l ß r i a h y k ä o z
w ö m g u n f j s x e
ü t c d b v p q
This exercise is very good. At the beginning I started with the characters in alphabetical order. Thus I looked for where is the "a", then the "b"
and so on. After some time I learned where the letters should stand. I knew thus, the "d" stands in the fourth place, and the "g" in the second
row in the second place. At some time I was able to sort the characters in the position were they stood. Thus I began with in this case with the
“l” then I continued with the “ß” and so on. Of course the characters were ordered in random time every time I started the game a new. With
the time I got used with the position of the characters. I knew that an “i” has to be the last character in the second row.
If I could program now already again, I would insert some changes here, e.g. I would change the size in the original block. Not always fife
characters like that
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ?
but e.g..
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
or
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ?
etc. then it would not be so easy to get it so easy in order. The user would then be confronted with a variety of variants and not just by one. But

this will take some time until I can do C++ (programming language) again.
07.03.2008
Linear Equations
I did some more mathematic in the past couple of month. The latest topic was linear equations. At the beginning it was relatively difficult do
sort out naming of numbers and characters. The following calculation is a beautiful example of back and forth of numbers and characters:
"Such a disorder of numbers and characters" is still very difficult for me. That will surely be one of the exercises if I can program again. But

now back to the linear equations. At the beginning I tried to get "the feeling" for linear equations again. How does a function look like which
follows the following rules: f(0) = 2.5 and f(4) = -1. It was very important for me simply the get a connection between the numbers and the
graphics repaired. Each day a little bit more. Today I am already again with equations like "0.6*(4 + 3x) = 5*(0.7+0.2x)+2.5". Not only reading,
but also getting the solution of the equation. It still lasts very long to solve such an equation, but it is a large success. I am already curious on
the next tasks.
09.03.2008
Correct or not correct
An exercise with Cogpack was recognizing images. You were presented successively 20 or 40 images. Each image is presented for fife
seconds. For each image you have to say weather you have seen it already or not. This exercise was relatively easy for me. Of course, it
depends on the content of the image. Some image categories were relatively simple, other were somewhat more difficult. While city images,
desert images, road signs and art images were relatively easy, it was more difficult for some characters, names and flags (banners). But
altogether an exercise, which motivated me! Finally something that was quiet easy for me.
11.03.2008
Windows XP
I have started to read a book concerning Windows XP. I made the whole thing in English. That is a good exercise. On the one hand it is
reading in English and on the other hand it is something which I did in former times already. At some places I notice then: Oh, I already know
that. Some things appear from one second to the next again. In other places, however, everything has disappeared. I must try to reconstruct
this part. I must try to get access to those things again. If there was at least something there, it normally goes relatively fast to do the recover.
However it is really difficult if everything is away. Sometimes a keyword is enough to activate the whole thing again. However sometimes
everything is away and I don’t find a way to recover it. It is basically a good thing to read something which I have done before I got sick. I
notice then like certain parts build up very fast again.

13.03.2008
Where was the Aneurysma

I had already once mentioned parts of it, but for the sake of completeness I will do it again. It happened on the 11.08.2005.
• Subarachnoidale bleeding (aneurysm of the A. carotid interna left)
• Hydrocephalus malresorptivus
• Vasospasm
• Ischaemie in the left Mediastromgebiet

• Ventrikulities
• distal lower left with Luxationsfraktur of the upper jump joint
• Thoraxtrauma
• Lungenkontusion
• Blunt belly trauma
• Hyponatriämie
• Distance Fixateur external, Infection
15.03.2008
Recognize colors (Interference)
A task at Cogpack is to recognize the colors in different variants. We play the tasks here for a certain colors combination. There are several
color combinations possible.
At first you have to remember a set of six colors. In this example we have the following colors: Corn-yellow, orange, lemon-yellow, pink, purple
and deer-brown. The remembering went as a color box together with the name of the color box written in the appropriate color. As said the
colors were corn-yellow, orange, lemon yellow, pink, purple and deer-brown. Now the first task was to name the colors, the colors names were
all displayed in a uniform color. In addition a color was displayed in a box. Your task was to find the name of that color correctly. Only one box
was correct.
The next task consisted of designating a color. You had six colored boxes as a target of the selection. And you had to provide the name of one
particular color. So for instance which color is “Corn-yellow”. For this question you had the selection of six boxes in the colors: Corn-yellow,
orange, lemon-yellow, pink, purple and deer-brown. You had to decide which color e.g. is “corn-yellow”.
In the next part of the experiment the name of a color was search. You had six differently colored names. You had to search for a certain color
name. You had to search for the name of a color e.g. “orange”. The name of the color could be written in any color. Important was that the
name of the color was correct, in the case of this example
“orange”.

In the next part of the experiment the name of a color was search. You had six differently colored names. You had to search for a certain color
name. You had to search for the name of a color e.g. “orange”. The name of the color could be written in any color. Important was that the
name of the color was correct, in the case of this example
“orange”.
This game is very entertaining. Some variants are relatively simply and fast to settle, but some others - at least for me - where really difficult.
17.03.2008
How are my feelings?
How do I feel? Is it difficult?
Of course it would have been much easier if nothing would have happened to me, if everything would have remained as it was before my
illness. You only learn to estimate those things, if something terrible happens to you, as with my illness. Only that time you will notice how
complex the brain is. I never spend a second on this. That was just being “natural”.
“A major advantage of my prehistory were my phobias”. During that time I was forced to deal with myself. I had to bring my phobias under
control. It took almost 20 years. Only the last three or four years everything was ok. Only then everything was ok In the post-history I have to
say that this was good for me. By my occupation with the phobias I was in a sense prepared in a certain sense for my aneurysm.
Immediately after I woke up again - after the coma - have immediately accepted which has happened to me. That was finally an important step
in starting immediately again with the reconstruction. I am since then busy with reconstructing my senses and my ability to think. In a sense it
became a sport for me. With some things I notice still that I am completely overstrained with that. In the meantime I have learned to be patient
and that I have to wait for developments. In some places I had to learn that first you have to learn that first there is "a" and "b" alone, before I
can make “ab”! As said, patience plays a large role. I had to learn to make one step after the other. But I am also a little proud on me on what I
achieved in the last 2 ½ years.
I think it was very important that I accepted from the beginning what happened to me. It was very important that I was not busy to complain all
the time, but instead was busy to start restructuring.

Finally it is also clear to me that I had a giant luck to survive all this. 50% of humans are dying, the remaining 50% are heavily damaged. I am
very, very, grateful for the fact that everything ran so well. I have in the last 2 ½ years learned so much over my life. And again: I am very, very
gratefully for this!!!
19.03.2008
Progress
At the beginning it is very difficult to judge the progress correctly. But in the last 2 ½ I learned much better to estimate myself correctly. As I
said at the beginning this was very difficult for me. But with the time I got better in estimating the details. Of course I learned as well how long
that all takes. The development does not go within a very days, but instead takes years. In some booklets I have read that something you
cannot learn in 1½ years, you will never learn it. I don’t support this attitude. Instead right now more and more pieces of my puzzle start to fit
again. As said the most important for me was that I never lose my courage. I still have serious lacks. The most important however is to never
give up. There is always a solution, perhaps not the one you expected, but there is always something to do. Of that I am completely firmly
convinced.
21.03.2008
Brain-Aneurysm
Now I finally made it. I have spent a few days with reading the brochures over the aneurysm. This brochure comes from the "association for
brain-aneurysm-sick - the branch of life - e.V. It lasted so long because it is among other things very difficult to read and understand the many
foreign words from medicine. But as said it was a very good starting point to enter this topic. Now I will read some overview articles over this
topic. I decided after some time of thinking that I will dig deeper into this topic. In the last weeks weeks my reading became much better. It is
still very difficult, to read and understand at the same time, but from day to day it becomes a bit better.
23.03.2008

Order
In the following we again describe an experiment of Cogpack. The experiment is available in several variants. I will try to describe it in a certain
variant. For all other experiment the rules are of the same nature. In the center of the screen numbers between 0 and 9 are displayed. The
task is it press a key whenever two subsequent number are done. Thus e.g. first a “2” and then a “3”. It was particularly at the beginning very
difficult since my attention is difficult to keep. But here as well I notice that every time I do this it is getting a bit better. The experiment is
provided in so many different variants, that you are kept busy for some time. Of course you also learn what has been asked such as the
numbers or seasons etc.. That may sound very trivial for some, but it is simply important, to make it again and again. Furthermore short to
medium-term memory is trained. The variables are presented relatively fast. Moreover you learn not only to notice things, but as well you learn
to make a difference. As said, everything sounds very trivial, but some very fundamental things are trained.
25.03.2008
A color game
I was occupied for some time with colors. At the moment it only concerned the basic colors "red", "blue", "green" and "yellow". At the beginning
I had serious difficulties to differentiate between them. At the beginning it was more or less a random number generator when I had to
differentiate between them. In the meantime that became much better.
The play went as follows: It was a game in which I had do put colors into the fields.

At the beginning I plugged simple figures together. That doesn’t have a special artistic value, but I have learned to do something in a
systematic way. I had to consider, how large I made a figure, which colors to use.
The “actual game” was a bit different. I took a color, first looking at it carefully and then decided which color it was. Sometimes I did it loud,
sometimes quiet. Only after I named the color, I was allowed to but it in.

It was relatively important to make the game in both variants so that different modules in the brain were used.
In the meantime the whole goes relatively well. But it still is not a “self runner”. It still costs me some effort to master the task.
27.03.2008
Dentist
I had an emergency treatment with my tooth this weekend. I hoped that this “cup” would go past me, but the pain was so strong that their was
now way around it.
During the night I almost didn’t sleep. I was a bit afraid that I might get another Epileptic accumulation. I also had a very strong pain. But in the
end everything went well. I am very, very grateful for this. It is on such days that I notice how well I am. How good thing are. If I think that some
people have each day such pain, then I recognize how lucky I am!

29.03.2008
Collection of images
I lately began to collect images from the internet to different topics such as animal or things you can buy in the supermarket (see next chapter).
By that learn I learn new words (again). For me it was amazing how long it takes to learn new words. For some words it is quite fast an
“elegant”, but some words take a long time to learn and remember them correctly. A variant of the task is, to write down the words. You can do
the writing either with a pen or with a computer. One can make that once with a pin or do another time with the computer. It requires to a
certain extent different resources from my brain. But overall it is a good exercise, and at least for me it is a good exercise to learn words again.
07.04.2008
Shopping
1 ½ ago I began shopping for the family again (just partly). That is a good exercise for many reasons. I began shopping in different markets.
These was very important to me since I had to get familiar with different environments. Further more I not write on paper what I had to buy.
These was a good exercise for my brain. I tried to keep that in my brain. On some days I then had to go shopping two or three times, until I
had everything together. The whole thing was a bit more difficult when we moved to the country side. But in the last few weeks I started again
shopping by taking my bicycle. And it is a lot of fun!!!

Aneurysm Hartwig's Story Part 3
09.04.2008
ABC
With the "ABC" I began relatively early again. I already reported on it. At the beginning it took relatively long until I finished one page. But then
with the time naturally everything went better. I have to admit that that it took a lot of patience to get one step after the next. At the moment I
make the "ABC" usually once per week in different variants. To say what I mean I have a few examples:
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA
acegikmoqsuwy
BDFHJLNPRTVX
and many further.
Sometimes written by hand, sometimes with computer. As said for the moment only once per week. I still notice that if I get stuck that it take
two or three seconds until everything is resolved.
11.04.2008
Clock
It was really difficult to do the changing of the clock at the beginning. At the moment changing full hours is not a problem. But at the beginning
even placing of full hours was connected with problems. In the meantime placing goes relatively problem free to a quarter hour, so 0:00, 0:15,
0:30, 0:45, 1:00, 1:15, 1:30, 1:45, 2:00. If I however have a non digital clock and I have to exactly adjust it on the minute the process takes

very long.
13.04.2008
Name images
Here is again an exercise from Cogpack. The task of the user is to give names to 14 pictures. The user is allowed to take characters and
numbers. As said the first part of the exercise is to provide a name for each picture. You have to provide names for pictures that make sense,
e.g. a mountain range is shown. Or another picture shows a desert which you then name as “desert". In the first moment you think that this is
not difficult at all. But normally the 14 images of a series are very similar, thus e.g. 14 mountain ranges and to each you have to give a unique
name. You must provide a connection between a picture and its names. Now all pre-work is done. In the actual exercise you get an image and
14 names to select the correct one. You then must select with image you have seen. At the beginning I thought that the thing is completely
simple. But due to the fact that all images of a category are relatively similar, it became - at least for me - very, very difficult.
15.04.2008
Counting both directions
The following is again an exercise which I try to make in parallel. If I e.g. go walking with the dog, then I let my thoughts to different things and
at the same time I count in parallel. I count between -100 and 100 in both directions. I make sizes of different steps. A row I always make with
a certain step size e.g. -100, -93, -86, -79, -72, -65, -58, -51, -44, -37, -30, -23, -16, -9, -2, 5, 12, 19, 26, 33, 40, 47, 54, 61, 68, 75, 82, 89, 96,
103. And then starting at 100 e.g. with a step size of “5”. Thus 100, 95, 90, 85, 80, 75, 70, 65, 60 etc.. At some point I will take bigger step
sizes and larger ranges.
18.04.2008
Parallel
At the moment I try to make more things in parallel. I began e.g. to write characters and at the same time to count. For a line I always do the
some character and at the some time I count form zero to nine. Counting is done in both directions. That is a simple task doing two things at
the some time.

20.04.2008
Animals
A while ago I began to collect images in the Internet. I have a collection of images of animals, plants and fruits. I then make a slideshow and
try to give the images the correct names. The assigning of images I either do at the computer or I write the names. My goal is to implement the
thing in a C++ program. But that will take some time until I reach this goal.
22.04.2008
The egg whip 1
At the moment I for some weeks observe the following phenomenon with me: I can express words problem-free. If I however take the time
what that actually is what I am talking about, then I actually recognize that I do not understand the word. An example for this is the word egg
whip. I don’t have any problems speaking the word. However if I start to think about what that actually means I recognize that I don’t
understand the meaning. The word egg whip is not a single case, but instead this happens very often to me. I understand the word, but I do
not understand its meaning. During the first part of my illness I didn’t recognize this because I was lacking many words. But now all of a
sudden the words reappeared but I am still lacking the understanding of the words. It is a magnificent thing to see all that words in my
vocabulary again.
24.04.2008
The egg whip 2
But also the reversal is very frequently the case. I can describe a word in detail with my modest vocabulary but I do not get the actual word. No
question, that happens to all of us, but since I got ill it happens very often to me. An example is the word "bucket". I can describe the word
exactly, partly with many details, but the word it self is missing to me.

26.04.2008
Operational signs
I still have difficulties if I have to switch my brain between different things. If I e.g. make an arithmetic problem, I still have problems to switch
between the operational sign and the numbers. There I recognize like in my brain something makes "click" to switch between different modes.
Then it takes some time until I get from one mode to another. License numbers of a car plate in Germany are another example which I
mentioned already. Here as well the problem is to switch between characters and numbers. Take e.g. the following number: B - LM - 7249,
first "B" for Berlin, then "LM" that is more or less random and finally the numbers "7249". Changing from characters to numbers takes here
longest.
28.04.2008
News from the world of numbers
In the last couple of weeks I have done very much with numbers. It took place in between “-100” and “100”. In most cases I do jogging, inlineskating
or driving with the bike in parallel. I count in both directions and I am using numbers between “1” and “9”. Let’s use an example to
illustrate my counting. I start at e.g. -50 and then I countinue with -41, then -32 and so one. Another time I start with „9“ and then I continue in
steps of “7” (“16”, “23”, etc.). This means different start values and different size of steps. The reason I do this is to get a continuity of counting
again.
30.04.2008
Learning by heart
Frame my daughter I learned something as it came to reading and repeating a history story. My daughter loves it if I am reading everyday the
same story to here: I am sure that I read the “Jungle Book” more than 100 times. The good thing about this is, I learned reading a new. At the
beginning was reading very much stuttering and partly chopped off. But since I read the story so many times it became more and more fluent. I
already new what will come next before I read it. In a sense the memory is trained. In some cases I only cross checked what I was reading. By
now I have much more time to concentrate on the accentuation. Of course, as soon as I read something new I still have difficulties with that.
But that also gets better every day.

02.05.2008
Operations on hold
My main memory in the brain is still very fast occupied. If I e.g. format something in Microsoft Word and do some more things, then I recognize
especially for some more complex thing that I get very fast to a limit. Operations on hold that are made of more than one step I only can
manage if I do it in a series. So if I have a process which is accumulated from several steps in the manner “ABCDE”, then I have to start with
“AB”, then continue with “BC”, then with “CD”, etc. In the last couple of month it became a bit better, but it surely is a bottleneck for me. The
some problems as I have with parallel processing.
04.05.2008
Bigger Numbers
In the meantime I got a bit further with adding numbers. Up to now I did the adding in the range between „-100“ and „100“. Now I have started
to add values between „-1000“ and „1000”. The incremental is still between „1“ and „9“. The conditions are the same as before, just the range
is a bit increased.
06.05.2008
Switch between large and lower case
In the meantime I have very much improved my writing. What still is very difficult to me is switching between large and lower case writing. If I
write a text only in large or only in lower cases it is much improved. But as soon as I have to take care of writing lower and upper cases it
always takes some time to switch between the modes.
08.05.2008
Home trainer for a bicycle
At home we have a bicycle trainer. That is a lot of fun on and at the same time it trains brain and body. Training the brain is done by switch
between different modes of the bike trainer. The bike trainer has an automatic mode where every fife seconds the mode of the display of the
operation changes. So at first the training time is displayed like the following: 25:35, 25:36, this means twenty fife minutes and thirty fife

seconds, then twenty fife minutes and thirty six seconds and so on. Then the driven distance is displayed such as 22:18, 22:19, this means
twenty two minutes and eighteen seconds, then twenty two minutes and nineteen seconds and so on. Next are the driven calories displayed.
And finally there is the heart rate shown. The good thing about this is that the formats of the results are different. The brain needs to switch
between different modes. In a senses that is an optimal way. On the one hand my body gets trained and on the other hand my brain gets
some exercise. Of course that is most simple, but I need to do two things at the same time.
10.05.2008
Naming things aloud
I started some time ago to name all things aloud. So I hear myself talking aloud terms like dog, cat, staircase, church and furnace pipe. Over
several days I try to move to different places so that I can cover many different words with that method. By now it became quite good as it
concerns the nouns. Some days I also write the name in letters as an exercise. However I am still searching for a method for verbs and
adjectives.
12.05.2008
Recipes
I was and I am still on the search for practicing my brain. In that process I came to the following method: learn recipes my heart. The good
thing about this exercise is that you can do it in different levels of difficulties. At the beginning I did learn recipes that where only mode of a few
words. By now things are getting more complicated. It requires much more capacity to store that all in the brain.
14.05.2008
And again some Math
As you notice, I am continuously searching for new exercises. Sometimes it doesn’t go with out new investment. Some of the exercise
programs are very good and within some years got grown up. But if possible I try to pass around investment. I try to take situations from every

day live and try do develop them further. That can be language exercises or exercises from math or many other things. On the one hand that
does promote creativity and at the same time I also learn to make things completely. I have to think about how thing fit in and how everything
fits together. So developing exercises it self is a good exercise.
18.05.2008
Games
Some games you need do play together, but some other games you can also play alone. The advantage of games that you play together, is
the communication you need in order to play. You are talking and you are having fun. But that also has to be learned. I still have difficulties
when several people play a game and are talking all together. Then in a couple of minutes I get tired. About that more in the next chapter. I am
doing many games on my own, so e.g. Memory of question and answer games. During that games a question is asked and you have to
answer it. So e.g. “What serves in detergents as a foam absorber?”. Then you have to answer the question. The answer here is: soap. The
advantage of playing that game alone is that you then have all the time of the world to answer the question.
20.05.2008
Current status
How is he current status of things? In the last weeks or month many things have happened. I am very grateful for the fact that I am able to
learn so many things. In all fields – math, writing and reading much things have happened. I am still being far away from normal, but I have
made very good progress. As I said in math, writing and reading much things have happened. Two modules which I still have difficulties with
are the parallel thinking and my limited capacity for saving data in the memory. I still haven’t found a way to fully restore that limitation. Of
course it has improved a bit, but I am still waiting for some bigger steps. But again I have to say that I am very, very, very happy about
everyday which I am allowed to experience.
01.06.2008
Small problems with numbering
At some places I still have problems with numbering. As long as I am counting in my thought, everything is ok. Of course it is still very exerting,
but overall everything is ok. But as soon I am counting the numbers aloud I run into trouble with some numbers. That is especially the case

with the numbers “3”, “4” and “9”. In my mind I have the correct number e.g. the “4”. However if I say the number aloud I get in this case the
“5”. In my brain everything goes ok with the number “4”, but as soon as I am numbering aloud I have this error. Strange thing here. At the
moment I am trying to move my speech module to the right place. I have to look how long it takes!
03.06.2008
I think I have it …
I think I understand what happened to me with the clearly pronounced numbers. As long as I am only thinking it is not a problem, but as soon
as I have to pronounce numbers aloud then I am running into trouble. As I am saying this could be, it does not necessarily have to be the
reason. I only did really practice numbers at the beginning. But really only at the beginning I did learn, write and understand numbers. Then
after a while I only was speaking number aloud, but no longer writing. Ok, lets see what happens if I also do the writing again. Was it the
reason?
05.06.2008
Combinations of characters
Enumerating “ABC” becomes better and better. I have started to enumerate the “ABC” in different sequences. What do I mean with that? I do
the “ABC“ in different sequences. I start with “abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz“, that is the standard variant.
Then I skip some characters like:
"acegikmoqsuwy" or
"bdfhjlnprtvxz" or
“aeimouy” and many further variants.
Omitting the characters is not coincidental, but made to a certain pattern. Sometimes I take only the third character (“ace…”), sometimes I take
the fifth character (“a,e,i…”), and so on. Sometimes I do not start with “a” but e.g. use “b”. Sometimes I start in reverse sequence, sometimes I
start with small or large characters or sometimes I use mixed characters. Thereby I have learned to write different sequences. Especially at the
beginning it was very hard to me to write different sequences. Already doing a reverse sequence like “zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba” was
difficult. In the meantime everything improved very much.

07.06.2008
Numbers, Numbers and Numbers
I already have mentioned counting several times. No question, it becomes better and better. Also the number ranges are in the meantime very
far expanded. But it is still far away from being automated. I still must search until I found the correct number. I notice that it can be done
much, much faster, but it still costs me a certain effort. I am sure that this will take some more time. But it is important that it becomes better
from day to day.
09.06.2008
Writing text
It is amazing of how much a text chances when the line space is changed. At the moment I have problems when I read and write text if I
choose as font “times roman” and have a regular line spacing (line spacing 1). This is very prominent when I am reading. Especially if I am not
concentrated when reading I have problems where I am right now in a line. If the line spacing is set to “2” everything goes quite well (this is
twice the size of normal). Those are often only little things, but then reading goes without problems. At the moment I started to reduce to.
11.06.2008
Complete words
If I write some text, I sometimes notice after a while that I read something completely different from what I actually should have read.
Surprisingly this is especially the case with relative short words. If I read the text, I read the first syllable exactly, but then I try to complete the
word with only a few characters very fast. At this point I only complete a few characters. It occurs then however more frequently that I did not
correctly finalize the word. The selected characters are correct, but I finalized the word with the wrong characters. But here as well I recognize
that everything is improving over time. Important is for me that I keep concentrated, learn different words to complete my language and try to
avoid simple errors.

13.06.2008
Several addends
The more addends I have in a calculation, the more the calculation gets difficult for me. Thus 15+32 still is relatively simple, 62+24+62 is
already more difficult. If calculations are always made with the same operational sign, it is still ok for me. However, as soon as “point comes
before line”, the hole thing is getting very confusing to me.
15.06.2008
Status for reading and writing
In the last few months I have achieved very much in reading and writing. Especially the “memory area” which I can use has increased a bit. It
is still far away from being normal, but did improve. Here, especially as what concerns writing, things have very much improved. While a few
month ago I was busy a hole morning, to get a chapter of this section, I can now do it in 10 to 15 minutes. Also my vocabulary became larger
in the meantime. While it was at the beginning almost an agony for me to write something, it is now a joy.
16.06.2008
Small break
Now it is time to lock this book. I will write now and then a status report. I would like to thank you for your interest in reading this. I have
enjoyed writing this book for you. Cordial thanks for your interest!!!

Aneurysm Hartwig's Story Part 4
09.10.2008
What happened?
Very much has happened in the last couple of month. Some parts of my brain seem to integrate itself again. My brain functions somewhat
more smoothly.
What did happen?
I read very much in the last couple of months. My vocabulary extended in this time very much. It was important to me that I had read on
different books each day. I also read completely different topics. It is still completely funny, as soon as I begin with a new book, I still have very
large difficulties during reading (if it is around a new topic). In the last days I have also started to read in English again. That was very hard at
the beginning, but then the "knot burst" at some time.
Also during writing happened very much. I am still the the moment copy texts. Sometimes from a book, sometimes of the screen. There I
opened two windows in Word. One of the main differences is that in the meantime I very fast find the place at which I am. That was for long
one of the major difficulties.
Mathematics continued to develop also, more about this next time. There are many stings still under construction.
I had perhaps already once mentioned it. My REM sleep has again dreams. At the beginning of my illness I had no conscious dreams over all
for two years.
In my brain new resources seem to have opened itself. Thinking goes in the meantime more fluent. It is still far from in former times, but in the
process of thinking very much happened. More to this in one of the next times.
Very much has happed in the last couple of month. That tunes me still more positively!

11.10.2008
Autumn 2008
Isn't that beautiful?
I have a digital mirror reflex camera. The operation of this camera clearly shows what is still going "wrong" in my brain. Before I became sick I
did photograph relatively much with the camera. Partly for myself, an partly as part of my job. It is amazing how long it took me to get the basic
f i i i I i ll h k d f i h B i h h b i f i I h d

functions operating correct again. It is really not many shortcut keys you need for operating the camera. But even with the basic functions I had
severe difficulties to get them working again. It lasted very long until I found a key. If then I found it finally, I would expect that the next time it
would go problem-free. But that's not the case. The next time I must search again until I find the key. We are now talking about simplest
functions such as switching on or off. If it concerns then somewhat more complex functions, it takes minutes for me to find the keys. Of course
it is clear that when you search new key combinations. But normally you should get control over new key combinations after a couple of times.
But that is not the case with me. For me it takes a couple of weeks until I have a new function save in operation. But finally I get the whole
thing working smoothly. With lots of patience and spit. And upon this I am very proud! If I finally successfully finished such a thing, I will not get
the smile of my face (-:.
15.10.2008
Numbers
I still have difficulties with numbers. One-digit numbers go problem-free, but with two and/or three-figure numbers I still have problems. In the
meantime as long as I do not speak (verbally) it is almost problem-free. This was not so at the beginning. There I had serious trouble. By now I
only have trouble if I speak the numbers verbally. I already partly described the whole thing some time before. I have made several attempts to
improve when speaking. As I have said I still have difficulties speaking three-figure numbers in German. If I speak in my mind I have no
troubles, but as soon as I speak verbally trouble begins. I try to explain it by means of an example. I will take the number “123” as an example.
In German “123” is expressed as „one-hundred-and-three-twenty“. This is in linguistic terms, whereas it is in nominal terms “123”. To get the
linguistic expression you need to turn around the numbers. First you have “one-hundred”, then there is what I call a placeholder, then there is
the number “3” and I finally have to replace the placeholder with the number “2”. Thus expressed „one hundred “ -- three -- and twenty. This is
all correct math-wise, but I have a lot of problems with getting the right number into the right position. I have for a long time experimented with
different variants to find a solution. Now it seems like I found a solution for my self. This does not mean that everyone makes it the same way it
just means that I found a solution. The one-hundred is still at the beginning, however then I no longer separate the numbers in my brain, but
instead I use the number “23” to speak that word. I terms of the characters there is no change. But in the way you add the numbers and
pronounce the words. With the small mental conversion now also the whole fits again mentally. I do not have any longer a break between my
number world and my linguistic world. I still have not completed the conversion for my self. I still have some difficulties when speaking, but the
whole seems to go more fluidly my mind. As we say I will remain at the ball and state whether I had success!

21.10.2008
Read and write
In the last nine month very much happened. In the beginning of 2008 it took half a day until I finished writing a report. What I call a report has
approximately 10-15 lines of text. Very much has happened there. At the moment I am still far away from writing in typewriter speed, but now I
write such a report in ¼ or up to ½ hour. That is a great pleasure (-:.
By now - retroactively – it was worth to invest such a lot of time in writing. I never thought that it would require such long to learn the basics of
reading and writing again. Basically I have learned again what children have to achieve.
I also read very much. I do that of course to learn reading and on the other hand to also understand what I read. Until a few weeks ago I could
make both not simultaneously. Now I am a step further. I at least understand the basics when I read something. I mean here simultaneously
reading and understanding. That is really great fun to simultaneously read and understand.
I would like to report of an exercise which I do frequently to improve reading. I say a sentence either in my mind of verbally aloud. Then I say
the sentence in single characters. I mean the same sentence. That helps me to automate the process of characterizing again. Finally I repeat
the whole sentence again. This exercise is very good. I work with characters in different modes: first the full sentence, then the sentence in
characters and finally the full sentence again. At the some time the whole thing helped me to improve my memory. I need to memorize the
sentence three times to get it into my brain. At the beginning I only had brief sentences but by now everything improved very much. It is at the
same time a task and a pleasure.
23.10.2008
What do I read?
I have already written that I read very much at the moment. I also said that this always follows the same pattern. If I begin to read a book the
speed is always very slow, most of the time hawing. As time goes by it is normally getting more fluent. If I read several books of an author,
h i b i l b R di ll b b d b

then it becomes continuously better. Reading generally becomes better and better.
What do I read at the moment?
Knowledge and education (German): General book concerning history, natural sciences, technology, religion, philosophy, literature, art and
music
Memory training with success (German): 30 - Day program for a good memory
Dante Alighieri: The divine comedy (old German): Poetry
David Scherfgen: 3D-Game Design (German): A manual to programming 3D-Games
Donald D. Hoffman: How How we create what we see (English): Visual illusions and processing
Joaquin M. Fuster: The Prefrontal Cortex (English): Newest book over processing in prefrontal cortex
Wolf Schneider: Words make people (German): Magic and power of the language
In the last couple of month I read very much about language as well about building concepts. I’ll do that to better understand what happens in
my brain. I studied biology, more exactly biological cybernetics therefore I have some previous knowledge about this. This is very helpful. I
understand a least the basics of what I read. That is a great success for me since up to now I couldn’t understand what I was reading. Still I
understand only a small percentage of what I read, but it is a very important development!
28.10.2008
Comprehension
If you think about writing and reading you recognize from how many components these procedures are build up. The accent, the letters,
syllables and words, the rules that are behind all this as well as the understanding of the meaning. For me the individual language parts were
all affected for producing the language. Some were more strongly affected some less. How much individual parts were really affected I cannot
really say. Improving each step takes very long and very much effort. Nothing is improved in a day. It all takes very much effort. If I have a “bad
d ” I ill h diffi l i h h i h T h ll f h hi h ff l ll h N i ill

day”, I still have difficulties when having to say characters. Together all of those parts which affect language are really huge. Now in my illness
I recognize of how many components a language is build up. When I will think about language processing when I have finally finished it, it will
look easy again. But at the moment still many things have to be done to get things finished.
01.11.2008
Proud
... I did most probably mention it already, but I will do it another time. I am very, very proud of what I did achieve in the last 3 1/4 years!!!
03.11.2008
Do I want to be someone else?
Sometimes people ask me whether I quarrel with my fate? I have a clear answer: I do not quarrel with my fate. I would not like to be anyone
else. I would always like to be "Hartwig". I am happy "over my being". I would never like to be someone else. I am very grateful for the fact that
I am still alive an so well. I am pleased about each day, where I am so well!
07.11.2008
Range of numbers
I am working very much with numbers. This concerns reading and reading. During the reading I make a distinction between reading loud and
in my mind. I had already recently described that I still have difficulties with reading and writing numbers (in the German language).
I make different exercises in addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. As I said, it concerns all computing procedures. Depending upon
computing method the enclosed number range is somewhat different.
In the following some examples:
I count in sequence, thus 1,2,3,4,5,6… or downward, thus 1000,999,998,997…
I i i i h 14 21 O i d 1001 994 98 I h i I i l 100 M I

I count in certain step sizes, thus e.g. 7, 14, 21. Or in reverse order 1001,994,987… In the meantime I come on intervals up to 100. Moreover I
do not necessarily begin always with the same number. First I start with 0,5,10,15… another time 2,7,12,17…
Multiplication and division: 1*7, 2*7, 3*7… 5:5, 10:5, 15:5… In another variant I add another value. I thus e.g. make 5+1*3, 5+2*3,5+3*3. The
same accounts for the division.
Free computation I make with Cogpack.
The goal of the whole action is it become again familiar with the range of numbers. And this is actually becoming better from day to day.
08.11.2008
The watch
Life with a watch and my difficulties thereby!
When I became ill, I could also no longer read the watch. I still was able to read the clock, but I could not communicate that any longer. The
process was still there, but I couldn’t communicate it. If I was asked: How late is it? Then I could not give an answer. At the beginning of my
sickness I did a lot of exercises in that field. Once you can read you just forget how difficult it was to learn that.
At the beginning it was very difficult to make again the correct allocation. What is e.g. 9 o'clock and where does the pointer have to stand then?
Or with a digital clock what is 11:15 and how do I get this communicated.
Moreover the watch is in the “12-hour mode”. I had to learn counting at the same time, and the numbers go in a “10 hour mode”. That always
confused me a bit. By now I have no more difficulties to designate the full hours. But I still have – after three years - my difficulties if it concerns
times such as 8:15 clock or times such as 8:45. The half hour is in the meantime also OK.
Since I do not use a watch in my life I lack a bit of exercise. I do not use a watch, since there are everywhere clocks. At the computer and in
the house and also everywhere where I go there are clocks. But it still might be a good idea to have a watch for the reason of practicing. Then
I could practice all day long (-:.

13.11.2008
Change money
If I went for buying at the beginning of my sickness then I always paid with 50 Euros. Even if it were only e.g. 3.15 which I had to pay. I did this
to make sure that nobody recognized that I had difficulties with numbers. I also could not pay with EC or credit card since I could not write at
the beginning. Now after three years it is finally getting to the point that I pay exactly the amount which I have to pay (if it is possible). But as
soon as I get to a queue where there are many people behind me I still prefer to pay with 10, 20 or 50 in cash. Again Cogpack helped me here
a lot. It provides some tasks to change money.
14.11.2008
Switch!
I recognize the following: It takes me a relatively long time to switch between reading a sentence and reading numbers and vice versa. This
statement is only valid if I do not write just have the thoughts in my mind. As long I do only read a text or I only count numbers I don’t have a
problem. But if I try do switch between the two modes rapidly then I am in trouble. The following example should illustrate this: one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight and nine. That makes so far no difficulties. Also the other way round 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 also hardly makes any
difficulties. But if I make the following then I have difficulties: one, 2, three, 4, five, 6, seven, 8. If I got accustomed to this after several times
then the conversion almost goes trouble free. However if I do the same game again on the next day, the trouble starts again. I am quite
curious how long it will take until things will go trouble-free.
19.11.2008
Handcraft
How does it look like with my handcraft abilities? I mean here such things like screwdrivers, drills and wrenches. Before I became ill I was
relatively talented. Here it accounts as well: When I got ill almost nothing did work any more. At the beginning I even had problems with a
screw driver. It took some time to get this working again. But as a conclusion I basically had to learn all things a new. In earlier days I was
helping very often on the farm of my parents. But after my sickness I had to lean almost all things a new. From one moment to the next
everything was away. By now many things have improved again. By now I can already manage to do more complex things again. But I still
have difficulties when things are more complex and have many options as well. Then it is difficult for me to get the right thing in place. There I
have difficulties to make the right choice from the many options I have. In that case I am always happy if I find one solution that works. Still I
h d fi i h i i k B h ll hi i i i d Of f I

have deficit when trying to get more options to work. But here as well accounts: everything is improving every day. Of course not as fast as I
want it to have (-:.
20.11.2008
Characters & Numbers
I have already reported several times about numbers and characters. I have as well reported once or twice about license plates and the
difficulty to switch between characters and numbers. If I have e.g. the following license plate: “NEA-AZ-123 “. „NEA “is the district, “AZ“ is any
combination of characters, and “123“ is a number. I have been playing the license plate game very intensive when I became sick in Berlin
three and a quarter years ago. “NEA” is the semantic identification. I can assign the license number almost without a problem. So e.g. “NEA“ is
our district or “B“ is Berlin or “M“ is Munich. “AZ“ is a combination of characters. You cannot assign anything. You just can read it.“123“ makes
some problems with reading it. But this is as well becoming better.
It is important here that everything is becoming better on the whole, that it sounds more logical to you. On the other hand it is nevertheless
amazing for me how long it took me to learn to read license numbers smoothly again. Is it because of me that I need so long to get this done or
does it show how complicated is reading numbers and characters?
27.11.2008
Problems with the number "6"
Whenever I must write the number “6“, then I am running into problems. If I imagine the number “6” then it happens mirror inversion, thus in
such a way “ ”. I have in the meantime almost no more problems with the numbers from “0” to “5” and from “7” to “9“. But with the number “6” I
am always running into problems. The whole is independent of the position. Whenever I am running into a “6” I am running into problems.
Some examples: “126” or “63“ or “9696“. I have a very hard time to get rid of the mirror inversion. Whenever I mentally think about a “6” it
seems to happen. In the meantime I tried to mentally change the recognition of a “6”. My brain makes a “klick” whenever it comes to recognize
a “6” in my consciousness in the aware mode. The whole thing is very tiring when I switch into that mode. At this point it seems like my brain
i diff d A I k i l h b i b k i h i i d Of I i d fi d h

goes into a different mode. As soon as I speak unconsciously the brain goes back into the inversion mode. Of course I tried to find out what
happens, but I don’t have a chance to solve the question. To I change to another brain module? perhaps even the other brain half?
28.11.2008
Duration of break
Whenever I make a short break when exercising then the probability rises fast that I forget what I was dealing about. An example: I count
numbers in intervals, 10, 20, 30, 40 etc. If I do it without a break then it goes without any difficulties. However if I make short breaks (just a
couple of seconds) then I forget relatively fast with what I am dealing. Thus I name “10“, then some seconds of break, then “20“ etc. If I then
simultaneous add another second task e.g. such as 10, a, b, c, d, 20, e, f, g, h, 30, i, j, k, l etc then I get very fast in disorder. Before my illness
such tasks where easy going. Today such tasks cause me greatest difficulties.
29.11.2008
„Math genius“
I bought myself six months after the beginning of my illness “Cogpack”. At the beginning of my illness it took me about two to three day to
finish the math tasks. Some tasks I couldn’t solve at all. After 3 ¼ years I am now at a point that it takes me about two to three hours to solve
the tasks in math. I am very proud on this.
30.11.2008
Oblivion
At the beginning of my illness largest parts of my central and long-term memory were disappeared. Parts of the short term memory recovered
relatively fast again. Of course I still have problems with short term memory, but it is getting better each day. Parts of the medium-term
memory recovered as well, however I still have many deficiencies within this range. The most difficult was the long term memory I couldn’t get
access to it. Until three month ago I couldn’t access it (three years after the beginning of my sickness). And then all of a sudden it was back.
From one day to the next I could access it again. It was just the right key was missing. Finally my past is back again. It is just a matter of
patience and trying again and again to find the right key!

01.12.2008
Disorder with numbers
It is again about numbers. I take “123” as an example. If I read that in German then I must say “onehundred-and-twentythree”. Thus “1”, “3”
and finally the “2”. Or in other words “onehundred and twentythree”. But if I write the number “123” it is like this: “one”, then “two” and finally the
“three”. Therefore “123 “. That at the beginning is rather confusing to get it work correctly at the beginning.
04.12.2008
And again numbers
I recently had mentioned that I have some problems with the number “6”. That is still there. If I however write the number six then it goes
without problems. Thus e.g. the number “63” is without any problems if I write it. But as soon as I do it only do this in my mind I have this
trouble.
06.12.2008
Did it twice!
Something that happens relatively frequently to me is that I learn things twice. I am learning something. That is in most cases connected with
some difficulties. Some of the things I even know that I hat learned that earlier, but then my brain was dammed. Then I try to learn this again.
Of course with the natural difficulties. And of course it takes to long (-:. Then I sometimes recognize that I learned things a new which I
wouldn’t have needed. There were only some parts of my brain corrupt, but the rest was still in order. But I did not recognize that for a long
time because the right keyword was missing. Most beautiful is then the moment where everything opens up again and is then like it was
before.
07.12.2008
Reading and writing errors

I have done some Math examples in Cogpack. An thereby I always wondered why I got different results. The reason for this was that I read
frowzy and misinterpreted some important detail. Here is some example. What is the answer to the question what is “8 of 160 in %”. And the
second task was what is “5% of 80”. In the first case the answer is “5” and in the second case the answer is “4”. But in the second case I
always understood what is “5 of 80 in %”. As an answer I always provided “6”, which is wrong. And I always wondered why this answer is
wrong. I have missed or misinterpreted some important details. The question was what is “5% of 80”. This does not only happen in Math. It
happens everywhere where I do have to give answers to questions. Since I read blowzy I only get a standard template answer as a solution. In
some cases this answer is correct (because of statistics), but in some cases the answer is wrong. This is only a matter of time until I learn that
correctly. And it is improving everyday!
09.12.2008
Making
I have a digital reflex camera. And I have some difficulties with the handling of the camera. The nice thing about this is that I have a lot of fun
to shoot pictures. The bad news is that after one year I still have difficulties in handling the camera. And this is not only about handling the
camera with difficult settings. No it is about simple things like turn on or off the camera. It takes a couple of seconds until I find the correct
position. It seems like it is to complex to turn on and off the camera. And whenever I try to turn on or off the camera, I have the same
difficulties again. My most beloved thing is a switch to activate the USB-communication to the computer. Whenever I have to connect this port,
I again have to search for that port. And then I think that I will remember that port next time correctly. But already after a day I forgot it again.
The switch is shown in the figure.

10.12.2008
English
I have written the document about my sickness in English and German. Of course it went easier in German. But I was surprised how well it
went in English. And I had tools like http://babelfish.yahoo.com which helped me a lot. This translation engine helped me a lot. And now I have managed
to do it on my own. No tools, no help, instead it did the hole translation on my own. This was a great felling!
11.12.2008
Memory of names
My memory of names has very much improved with the last couple of month. Especially if I have to remember names of people whom I knew
before my sickness then I almost have no more problems. It is a bit more difficult if I have to remember names of people whom I got to know
during my sickness. A lot has happened with my long term memory!
17.12.2008
Toys
I recently encountered an interesting thing. Whenever I play with the toys of my daughter everything goes well as long as I only have one thing
to deal with. If I however have two or more toys at the same time, then I have difficulties to make a difference between them. That especially
happens when I have toys of different categories. Thus e.g. a material duck, a bear and a doll. Then I even have difficulties to name them
correctly. Then it takes some time to sort things out correctly.
18.12.2008
Image Processing

I always have difficulties whenever an activity is setup from multiple individual parts. I always can do only a certain amount of things at a time.
This is as well true for steps in image processing. Whenever a process is setup from many individual steps, I first have to keep the general
goal in mind, but also the individual steps. But this two things at the same time is already very difficult for me. A small example:
· open an image
· change hue
· change color balance
· create a new layer
· fill this layer with content
· setup three filter actions on this layer
Just to keep everything in mind is already very difficult for me. If I now write it everything is ok and I can remember it. But normally if you only
keep everything in mind it is giving me a hard time. I have to split everything into small individual steps, but also have to remember the final
goal.
Now, three years after I became ill many things have improved especially in the last half year. That motivates and is the basis of new steps.
01.01.2009
Fireworks

Aneurysm Hartwig's Story Part 5
04.01.2009
Making coffee
In the meantime many things have improved substantially. For many things the improvement process takes very long. Sometimes you don’t
even recognize that. For some processes it takes years until you recognize an improvement. A nice example for this is making coffee with a
coffee machine. At the beginning of my sickness it was already very difficult to remember the individual steps. Getting disturbed by something
usually meant that I had to start again. Today this improved very much. I can now plan things that happen in advance. It is still very difficult
since my memory is limited but I have improved very much over the last couple of years. It is amazing of how many things a process is
integrated when this memory is lost. And it is also amazing of how long it take to get this working properly again.
06.01.2009
The PC
In the last year I tried very much do get used again with working on my computer. I have to say that I spent very much time on computers
before my sickness. That time I also used different operating systems. For the moment I have reduced it to windows. First I used Windows XP
and a couple of weeks ago also Windows Vista. Getting Windows Vista to work was a very good exercise. I have to say that before my
sickness I spent 10 or more hours per day on my computer. In the first half year of my sickness I didn’t use a computer at all. At that time I was
very busy to get my live sorted again. Of course I had the restriction that my brain memory was very small. After a small period I started to use
the computer again. At the beginning I mainly used Cogpack as a tool. The aim was not getting used to the computer again it was instead a
tool to my therapy. My main memory is still very limited so I still have problems working with the computer. This makes it still very difficult to
work with a computer. But I have finally reached a state where I at least can do a couple of things with my computer. A beginning is made and
I have a lot of fun working with the computer.

07.01.2009
Frontpage
Yesterday I have reported about my first experiences with my computer after my sickness. Today I would like to report my first experiences
with the professional development software. After my disease I tried many times to start again with developing a software. But as far as it
concerns C++ my development is not far enough to get this done. Instead I tried to start with HTML applications. Before my sickness I did a lot
of HTML applications. I at least had some re-memberance for HTML, only a little but at least a good starting point. After some learning period I
started with that web-pages about my sickness. The whole thing is still in HTML and not XML. But a beginning is made. Amongst other things
my limited amount of my brain memory is a very critical factor. I can only understand small parts of the text at one time. At each moment I can
only understand a small part of the text. Then I need to flush my memory to get an new part into my brain. But the important thing is that I
recognize each day that everything is improving a little bit. Very slow improvements but continuously.
I also do a lot at the VRtainment web-sites. In most cases this are only small changes. The good thing for me is that I am required to make
repetitive changes. By doing this the whole thing gets into my brain. An example is e.g. making a change of a background image. I have to do
this change about 50 times. After a while I get used to making that change. At the beginning the process is still very difficult, but after a while it
gets an automatism. It is a good exercise.
Each couple of weeks I then check weather I can program again in C++. So far I did not have any success. But I will manage that one day.
08.01.2009
Programming
I mentioned a couple of days ago that I am still not able to program in C++. I believe that it has something to do with the structure of thinking
as well with my problems with reading and writing. Reading and writing still makes complete use of my available resources. At the moment all
my resources go into these processes and I don’t have any more resources left for programming. I think that it will take some more time until
my reading and writing goes without any conscious effort. Only then I will also be able to program again. That’s at least my believe.

09.01.2009
Learning from my daughter
In the meantime our daughter is four years old. For me it is amazing what and how fast a child learns. To some sense it is a small competition.
Can I do it at the same speed? How do her learning strategies change? That is very useful that I can learn from her. I can learn from her what
are useful strategies. I don’t need to do everything per trial and error. That helps me a lot.
10.01.2009
Text and songs
If I together with my daughter read or sing songs I am some times my self amazed of how good singing songs is working. All of a sudden texts
and songs appear in my brain that I would have never managed to formulate on my own. All of a sudden I can remember whole text parts of
songs. Normally my memory so still so week that I forget a sentence if I reach the end when saying it. But as soon as I sing a song with my
daughter it goes like an automatism and everything is there again.
11.01.2009
Knowledge
Quite often I know that I know something but can’t remember what it was. Actually a large part of my daily routine consists of this. I know that I
knew something but can’t determine exactly what it was. But only the fact that I am trying to remember something is very important. Then I try
to move heaven and earth to get to a success full result. As I said already the fact that I remember something is very important. It is worse if
you don’t even know that you forgot something. Then the whole knowledge is lost.
12.01.2009
No pain

If I cut myself I almost have no more pain. That property of my perception is nothing special for me, but it is at least worth to mention it. I often
recognize only minutes later that I have been bleeding. Then I check weather something more urgent happened to me. That is especially with
manual work the case. For example I sometimes knock my finger very hard, but won’t recognize it.
13.01.2009
Very much luck
It was a connection of several things when I became my aneurysm. At this time I was alone in my company. The days before that I had been
working very long. On this day I had a professional meeting. I was going to the meeting on my bike. That was luck the first time. A few minutes
earlier and I still would have been alone in the office. Then the whole thing happened in Berlin, thus the best emergency there. As I said, I had
a huge, huge luck!
14.01.2009
Cooking recipe
Presently I do occasionally read cooking prescriptions. I read the prescription several times and then try to repeat it from my mind. A small
example:
• 250 g butter
• 500 g flour
• 4 egg (it)
• 3 table spoons sugar
• 1 pinch salt
• 2 table spoons honey
• 1 tea spoon vanilla sugar
• 1 tea spoon baking powder
• 1 pinch cinnamon
• Fat to bake
• Powdered sugar

Preparation
Butter and sugars are creamy agitated. Then add the eggs. Gradually you give the flour mixed with baking powder under the mass and agitate
everything well. From time to time again liquefy everything with some warm water, but caution, at the end you must develop a paste. Then you
add salt, cinnamon and honey and you agitate everything well.
The waffle are baken in an iron.
At the end the waffles are covered with powered sugar and with cream and are then eaten.
Preparation time: approx. 30 min
Degree of difficulty: normally
What do I expect to reach by this exercise? It is a good exercise to read. Moreover I must try to remember as much a possible. It is an
exercise that makes sense, because the things all belong together. Thus it is harmonious. I normally have problems with exercises since I
must invent something in order to practice. It is still very, very difficult for my too make such an exercise. But I also notice already after a few
days that it is very helpful.
01.02.2009
VRtainment Web-Site
I was very busy in the last couple of weeks. I did restructure the VRtainment web-site in order to get it translated to German. It took me quite
long to get to a good structure for the web-site in two languages. It was also very good to work with a lot of files at the same time. First I began
to work with simple things. Only one working process at a time, but the some process over many files. After a while I started to increase the
complexity of the working processes required to do the changes. Every day it is improving a bit. Small steps, but overall the work process is
getting more fluent. The development is small, but clearly visible.
06.02.2009
Starting a tractor

I often have difficulties with activities which I made in former times in the “FF“. I still know that it must work, but I don’t know how it went. It
concerns activities, which I could do before my illness from the “FF“, now however these parts of my brain was damaged. A good example is
here, starting a tractor. I stand in front of the tractor and don’t know how to start it. Before my illness these knowledge was there. In the course
of my illness these parts of my brain were destroyed. Only then you notice how difficult it is to learn thing again. The whole thing doesn’t solve
itself in a couple of seconds, instead it take months or years to learn it again.
23.02.2009
Programming attempts
In the last couple of weeks I again tried programming. First I began with HTML and then I added Javascript. The result of my attempts is an
application that combines HTML and Javascript. The task was the automation of the visualization of HTML files. Please click here to see an
example. One file is displayed in a big format, the rest of the files are then displayed in a small format. If then I click on a small file, it will be
displayed large. It took me several weeks to get this all working. But now it is working! That is great!
24.02.2009
And again the story of counting numbers
It seems to become a never ending story. Again I have noticed that in certain situations I am running into problems. If I now count with an
increase of one (1, 2, 3, 4…) it almost goes on its own. It is almost an automatism. But at the same time I am still surprised how long it takes
too learn numbers fluently. Now I tried it in different intervals, thus 2, 4, 6 … and to my surprise it gets straining again. I need some time to get
the correct number in my brain. During that time I can’t do anything else. No more brain resources left. I need to concentrate fully on the
numbers to get everything correct.
25.02.2009
And more numbers
Counting numbers in the field between "0" and "999" is by now pretty good. But everything that goes beyond that is causing me many
problems. Numbers with more than three characters are still causing me a lot of trouble. It is in Germany the case that the numbers are sorted
in triplets. So first the one digit numbers, then the two digit numbers and finally the three digit numbers. The special thing about that is the

somehow disordered numbering. "One-hundred and three-and-twenty" (123) you speak in German as follows: "One-hundred", then the "three"
and then the "twenty". With higher numbers the game is always played in triplets. "234123" is the following way pronounced "Two-hundredfour-and-thirty-and-one-hundred-and-three-and-twenty".
With numbers with more than three digits these still causes me a lot of problems. But I
also think that this is just a matter of practice. More practice and I will do fine.
20.03.2009
Web-Pages
My last couple of weeks were filled with work on my web-pages. I have ordered my web-pages a new in including changes in color and form. I
did work on the following web-pages:
• www.vrtainment.de
• www.hartwig-distler.de
• www.ehegrund.com
• www.ezelheim.de
• www.aneurysma.org
It is still very difficult for me to get the concentration to the right point, but overall it is getting better and better every day. I am only improving in
small things every day, but it is continuously becoming better.
21.03.2009
Summary
In the last couple of days I started reading what I wrote in the last year. Some things I always see from the some “corner”, i.e. I keep my
opinion always the same. On the other hand it is striking how many things change over the time. Of course that is only human, but it still strikes
me. This is especially the case with my very bad working memory. On the one hand there are things where I always have the same attitude.
On the other site there are things which undergo a constant change. It is just getting more obvious due to my forgetfulness.

23.03.2009
Schema-Theory
A thing which is still very difficult to me is the understanding of the world. This should become a bit more clearly by the following example. At
the beginning the knowledge is split into several sub-categories. In our example this would be the cloth. Then we go a step farther, we go for
shoes. No I can make a difference between different types of shoes, in that special case, shoes for my self. Now I can make a difference
between different types of shoes. Now again a step further, we go for sport shoes. The next step is the color of the shoes. We still could make
further steps. But this is sufficient for now for my example. As you can see, our knowledge is hierarchically organized. So now I am looking for
a special type of shoes, sport shoes which are colored in black and blue. If I am looking for such shoes and I find them everything is “ok”. But
as soon as I can’t find them, it is hard for me to go one step further and to search for a higher category, i.e. to search for sport shoes or even
general shoes. Here I lack the more general association which does such kind of links. But here as well the important thing is that I have
recognized this and now I can start working on this.
25.03.2009
Writing at the PC
One year ago I started to write very intensively at the PC. I did a lot of courses on the PC. That all happened in the first half year of 2008. By
the time I improved very much. Of course the speed was still very slow, but overall I thought that it was “ok”. At my best times I had a speed of
45 hits per minute. And now I got thee surprise. Today I placed myself at the PC and did one of the exercises for learning writing on the PC.
And now I had from the scratch 140 hits per minute. At these moments I recognize what I have achieved in a year. This is just super!!!!
26.03.2009
Automated Processes
It seems like I lost a lot of automated processes in my brain. I am not sure whether these are really automated processes or just well learned
processes. If I e.g. have to cook coffee it now becomes every time coupled with a lot of mental work. When I had to cook coffee before I
became ill, it all went automated and I had enough time to do something else at the same time. Now after becoming ill, I really have to
concentrate on something and I can only do one thing at the same time. I have to go through every single step and not trying to get disturbed

from my rhythm. As soon as I get disturbed it is very hard to get back into my rhythm. In the last three and a half years everything was
becoming much better (the time when I become ill), but it is still far away from becoming an automated processes. In general the planning and
the execution of processes became much better.
28.03.2009
Left or Right
I still have difficulties to make a difference between left and right. For some things everything goes very well. But as soon as I have to read
something at the same time my system breaks down. Today e.g. I tried to put the loudspeakers on my PC together. It is a set of five
loudspeakers. The “task” was to connect the five speakers correctly. There was one main loudspeaker and the others were attached. The
main loudspeaker had names assigned for each loudspeaker, so Left Front, Left Rear, and so on. I can read correctly. Not the fastest and best
reading, but overall I can read correctly. But as soon as I had to read on one spot and then assign the correct loudspeaker on the correct
place, my system broke down and I ran into problems. I think it took about ten minutes until I had ever loudspeaker at the correct place. It is a
crazy world. I can name everything correctly, but as soon as I have to put things together correctly everything breaks down. That step was lost
in my brain.
29.03.2009
Numbers and Characters
I already mentioned the following a while ago. I still have difficulties if I have to write something that consists of numbers and characters. If I have written
characters for some time then I recognize that it is very difficult for me to switch to writing a number. The some accounts for the other way round.
Sometimes it is like not being able to switch between numbers and characters. If I e.g. speak for a long time using characters and then I would like to say “4”,
I can’t do it. There I can’t remember the correct word. Instead I use the word “four” to get this done.
30.03.2009
And again numbers
I already thought that I did manage that. But that was a mistake. I still have difficulties with the speaking of German numbers. If I e.g. have to say „239“ then
it is still very difficult to do this. If it is written then it is really “239”, but if I have to speak it in German then it is pronounced as follows: “2”, then you have

to input a gap then there follows the number “9” and the number “3”. This already has taken very long to manage that. Now I do a little trick. At first I write
the number “2” and then I write the number “39” as one word. Thus it is then “two hundred” and finally “ninety and three”. Important for me was the step to
“39”. Important form me was the step to the „39“. I started with „two hundred“, then virtually to „ninety and“ and finally the step to “thirty”. At the
beginning I used three numbers in the correct order: “2”, then “9” and finally the “3”. Then it took me very long until I did a change in the emphasis to
“ninety three”. It is b bit difficult to explain this, since German is very much different from English. The numbers in German are sorted in a different way. If
you have a three digit number it is written as e.g. “239”, but is spoken as “2” then “9” and finally “3”. And the difference between spoken and written
language makes it so difficult. Once you have learned that, i.e. you have automated that in your brain, this step goes by itself, but till then it is very difficult
to get it done!.
31.03.2009
Negative numbers and decimal numbers
It is still very difficult for me to write or read a negative number. Most probably this has to do with the switch between numbers and the “-” sign. The same
accounts for decimal numbers as e.g. “123.25”. There is a dot sign in the numbers. Additionally there are the “problems” with numbering in German. It reads
like this: „1“ and then „3“, then „2“, then the dot, then the „5“ and then the “2”.
01.04.2009
And more numbers
If I increase the counter by a value of “1“ that is working much better than decrease it. Thus if I count “100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105 …” that is
much easier than “100, 99, 98, 97, 96 …”.
02.04.2009
Work on different computers
I started again to work on different computers in „parallel“. The good and important thing for me is that I have to do different things on the
computers. As I said, the important thing is that I have to switch between different contexts. Of course I could do both things on the same

computer. But amazingly it takes very long for me to stitch between computers. It is just a couple of things which are different between the
computers, but that is enough to get me into confusion.
08.04.2009
And another step ...
I have managed another step. For the first time after my illness I drove on my own by train. During my illness I was always joined by my family.
Now for the first time after my illness I went on my own by train, i.e. I went alone doing that journey. The journey was about 500 km distance. I
have managed to do everything on my own. That is a really important step in my development!!!
09.04.2009
Typing on the PC
Due to a change in our household I now write more on my computer again. It is amazing how rapidly things change in a short amount of time.
Of course these are only lessons, but it is still amazing how things change in a short period of time.
10.04.2009
Write with the PC
When I now have to write on my PC my lessons it is quite good. Of course only the exercises but not normal writing. As soon as I am also
responsible for the content of the text, I am running into difficulties. I now can write a prewritten text, but as soon as I have to do both, I am
running into difficulties. I can either write or read, but both at the same time, I can’t manage. I am working to improve this!
11.04.2009
Reading

At the moment I am reading more again. I already had described a while ago that I still have difficulties when reading a book. When reading a
book I have very many difficulties at the beginning. After a while when reading a book, I get used to the style and the words the author uses.
And then it is getting better and better again. Overall it is a sign for the fact that the number of words that are available to me is still very
limited. As soon as I “get used to a book” the reading becomes much better. At the moment I read a book about “The Wonder World of
Oceans”. This book is very, very interesting, but at the some time it contains a lot of words that I don’t know. Therefore at the beginning it is
really hard to read for me. But with the time everything is becoming better again. The reading is getting more fluid now again.
11.04.2009
Reading
At the moment I am reading more again. I already had described a while ago that I still have difficulties when reading a book. When reading a
book I have very many difficulties at the beginning. After a while when reading a book, I get used to the style and the words the author uses.
And then it is getting better and better again. Overall it is a sign for the fact that the number of words that are available to me is still very
limited. As soon as I “get used to a book” the reading becomes much better. At the moment I read a book about “The Wonder World of
Oceans”. This book is very, very interesting, but at the some time it contains a lot of words that I don’t know. Therefore at the beginning it is
really hard to read for me. But with the time everything is becoming better again. The reading is getting more fluid now again.
12.04.2009
Weakness in reading and writing
At some days when I can concentrate myself very well, everything goes quite well with reading and writing. But at some times I also have a hard time. I am
desperately looking for words. I know that they are already in my brain, but I can’t access them. The same accounts for parts of sentences. I know they are in
my brain, but I can’t access them. At those moments I recognize how fragile the whole thing is still. But here also accounts: I am getting better every day!
13.04.2009
Right or Left
I always had difficulties to name the correct site. But before I got ill, it was at a chance level. Now after my illness it seems like it was completely changed.
Now I am at the 100% level. However not correct. Now I am always wrong with what I choose. Right is left and left is right. How can I correct this?

14.04.2009
Syllables
In the mean time reading and writing of syllables became much better. As well the ability to predict words from the first syllable has much
improved. Still my lexicon is comparatively small. As soon I have to recognize a word from single characters it take some time until I really
understand it. And the are still many words that I have to read character by character (-:.
15.04.2009
The columns of the pharmacy
I found the following about the house pharmacy. It was less the thing about the house pharmacy, instead it was the difference between
numbers and letters which is very important for me.
1 g Protein
4,6 g Fibers
23 Calories
85 mg Natrium, international named as „Sodium“
315 mg Potassium
28 mg Calcium
9,4 mg Magnesium
0,01 mg Maganese
1,6 mg Iron
0,01 mg Copper
36 mg Phosphore
7 mg Sulfur
72 mg Chlorine
0,12 mg Zinc
12 mg Carotin or Provitamin A
8mgVitamineC

0,5 mg Vitamine E
0,9 mg Daukarine
0,06 mg Thiamine
0,06 mg Riboflavin
0,6 mg Nicotin acid
25 mg Pantothenacid
0,1 mg Vitamine B6
0,6 mg Biotin
10 mg Folacid
The typing was very arduous, but as well it was very helpful.
16.04.2009
Reading while jogging
While I was jogging in Berlin, I also read at the same time license plates of cars. That is of course only possible if there is no traffic. I was
surprised how good that all went. Of course I had with some cars problems with reading the license plates, but overall the reading of numbers
and characters went very well. Another step back into my normal life. When I did this the last time, I was only able to walk, but not to jog.
17.04.2009
Toys of kids
Some time ago I borrowed from my daughter some of her kids toys. I is a very simple thing, but it is very efficient for me. Please look at the
images about the task:

On the one hand is the naming of those things very efficient and on the other hand it is very efficient to learn the forms. For some of you all off
this might appear very simple to solve this task, but for me it is very important to learn these basic things again.
18.04.2009
Control Panel
I is still very difficult for me to get information in one glance. We take as an example the control panel from windows.

Until I find there what I was looking for a lot of time goes by. If I e.g. read “Display“ I read it, but I don’t understand what I read. Only after
reading it several times I get to understand what I read. If I then let the time go by for some minutes, then my understanding and the
knowledge of the word “Display” is lost again. It is like it wasn’t there. In the meantime that all got better a bit, but it is still far away from what I
was used to before my sickness.

19.04.2009
Colors
I am amazed by the fact that I still have trouble with defining colors. If I am concentrated I don’t have problems. But as soon as I get distracted
I am running into trouble. We are at the moment talking about the basic colors black, white, red, green, blue and yellow. I am amazed a bit that
such a simple task still makes such a lot of difficulties.
20.04.2009
Silverware
A thing which is still very difficult to me is the correct naming of knife, fork and spoon. I can use it correctly, but I run into problems with the
naming. I e.g. have a fork. I do use it correctly, but I am running into trouble with the naming. I see a fork, but when someone asks me what
that is, I say this is an "spoon". That is really a bit strange. I have to make a difference between three words and after 3 1/2 years I am still not
able to do so.
20.04.2009
Silverware
A thing which is still very difficult to me is the correct naming of knife, fork and spoon. I can use it correctly, but I run into problems with the
naming. I e.g. have a fork. I do use it correctly, but I am running into trouble with the naming. I see a fork, but when someone asks me what
that is, I say this is an "spoon". That is really a bit strange. I have to make a difference between three words and after 3 1/2 years I am still not
able to do so.
21.04.2009
Concentration while using a knife

If I use the knife to cut something then I have to fully concentrate on that process. As soon as I do something on the site, the probability that I
cut myself is rapidly increasing. If I e.g. think about something nearby it is getting dangerous for me (-:. In the meantime things became a bit
better, but it is still far away from what I was used to before I became ill.
23.04.2009
Soccer
Yesterday I was looking soccer (football) on TV. There I again recognized that I hat serious difficulties to put things of different meaning
together. I don’t have a problem to make a difference between the teams. At the same time I don’t have problems to remember the name of
players. But as soon as I need to draw the conclusion that is team “A” and that is placer “XYZ”, then I am running into problems. I can’t put the
things together in my brain.
26.04.2009
Continuation ...
It is about numbers ort he other way round, it is still about numbers. I thought about half a year ago that I had managed that. That is however
still not the case. It is still a topic for me. It continues to improve slightly, but it is still for away from getting automatic. If I have to name a three
digit number e.g. “237” then it goes the following way. The number “2” almost goes without problems. Then there comes the trouble with
German. After the “2“, follows the “7“ and then finally the “3“. Thus it goes “2“, “7“, and the „3“. As I said the “2“ doesn’t cause any major
problems. But I very often exchange “7” and “3”. So basically I get the “273”. Now I think I found a solution for the problem for myself. I speak
the second and third number as one number “37”. So I don’t have three individual numbers, instead I have numbers that form a kind of
syllable. As a change I now have to learn 100 numbers to get this done, e.g. from “00” to “99”. That somehow seems to work for myself. I don’t
know how other people do it.
26.04.2009

Continuation ...
It is about numbers ort he other way round, it is still about numbers. I thought about half a year ago that I had managed that. That is however
still not the case. It is still a topic for me. It continues to improve slightly, but it is still for away from getting automatic. If I have to name a three
digit number e.g. “237” then it goes the following way. The number “2” almost goes without problems. Then there comes the trouble with
German. After the “2“, follows the “7“ and then finally the “3“. Thus it goes “2“, “7“, and the „3“. As I said the “2“ doesn’t cause any major
problems. But I very often exchange “7” and “3”. So basically I get the “273”. Now I think I found a solution for the problem for myself. I speak
the second and third number as one number “37”. So I don’t have three individual numbers, instead I have numbers that form a kind of
syllable. As a change I now have to learn 100 numbers to get this done, e.g. from “00” to “99”. That somehow seems to work for myself. I don’t
know how other people do it.
28.04.2009
Next continuation ...
If I now try to make something in parallel with counting numbers, then I run into trouble. Counting with numbers is so exhausting to me that I
cannot do anything else at the same time. But it is getting each day a bit better. Of course the development is going much slower than I
thought, but it is continuously.
30.04.2009
Birthday ...
Some days ago I had birthday. I was very happy and grateful about the many presents I received! … at that day the following happened to me:
My mother said to me: Please open the birthday card. I fully understood the term, but I couldn’t remember what a birthday card is. I was trying
to understand the term, but I couldn’t get the meaning. I had to ask my mother what a birthday card is. Then this connection was established
again. Let’s see whether I remember it the next time (-:?

02.05.2009
Learning numbers from “00“ to “99“
In the last couple of days I started to learn numbers from “00” to “99” by heart. This will take a couple of days, but it should allow me to learn
the numbers for automatic usage. Through that I would like to accomplish that my automatic understanding of numbers goes up to “999”. I hat
already described that I had many difficulties with numbers. Let’s see whether this is going to work ….
03.05.2009
“Reset Button”
Many things have improved in the last couple of weeks. Under certain circumstances I can do things in parallel. Of course this is all very
limited, but alone the fact that it is possible makes me very happy. After some minutes I recognize that my working memory is completely
crowded. Then I in a sense I have to press the reset button and I can’t to anything for half a minute. After that I can begin again. That is a great
success!

05.05.2009
Icons and their analysis

It still requires a lot of effort to remember Icons and their position for me. An example: I am looking for an Icon. After some search I find it.
Then I do something else in the software. After one minute I need the Icon again. If I did this before my sickness I found the Icon in a glimpse

of a minute. Now I have to search again. In some sense it is like I lost my positional memory. I have to start the search process again. And
again. It takes weeks until I quickly can find the Icon in the software. But until then always the some game again and again. I have to look for
the Icon, and look and look and can’t remember where it was. I still haven’t found a strategy how to improve this, make this faster. I am still
searching for a new strategy to improve this.
06.05.2009
Small child’s play
I did a game together with my daughter. The task is to recognize things from the sound the make. The things are hidden in a box from the
view. I didn’t think that it would be so difficult to recognize things by the sound they make. After some days things improve slightly. But still it
was very interesting to me to learn how important sound is to manage the task. Once you have managed a set of boxes you can create new
boxes with new sounds.

07.05.2009
And another game ...
I took soft toys of my daughter. It is no problem for me to recognize then all by sight. But as soon as I have to give names to the puppet I am
running into problems. I mean names like this: this is a frog, this is a seal …. In a sense it is already on my tongue, but I don’t have access to
it. I know that I have named it earlier, but as I say I don’t have access to it. This in not a topic if you forget one or two words. But for me that is
an enormous amount of words is missing or I don’t have access to it. For some of the words I can’t get access to them, but for many word I
can finally get access to them. Of course after some seconds of minutes of thinking.
09.05.2009
Numbering with "."
This time numbering with another variant. Numbering with a decimal number. If I count while I am in my thought or when I read then I run into
trouble. To be able to illustrate this the following example: I count 3.54, 3.55 and so on. In German I then run into trouble. Let's take the
number 3.54. We have to begin with the "3", then we have the "." and now the difficult part. Now in speech or when thinking there comes the
"4" and then the "5". If we put that together we have "45". I have already written about the difficulties when reading numbers. Putting now a "."
into the line is just going a step further.

If I now have the money at the table and have to handle the numbers, then it is going quite ok. At the beginning of my sickness I always ran
into serious trouble. To avoid this I was always paying with a 50 Euro note. So I avoided to get blamed. Now in the meantime everything is
going quite ok. On the one site I recognize how long it takes to learn something an again, but on the other site I also see the progress I make.
10.05.2009
Comparing characters and sentences
In Cogpack I have been comparing sentences and characters. This is done the following way: The two sentences are presented side by side.
They can be the same or they can be different. In this example the two sentences are different.
Overall the comparison, its speed and reliability improve. In some of the cases the comparison is for me very difficult. I can’t see it on a
glimpse. It take relatively long to compare this:

Aneurysm Hartwig's Story Part 6
11.05.2009
Jogging, Counting Numbers and Thinking
In the meantime jogging is performed automatically. At the beginning of my sickness even this was coupled with a certain effort. The
coordination of the steps and the adaptation to the environment by now almost goes automatically. I also mentioned several times that I am
jogging almost every morning and there I am counting my numbers of steps. For me this means a lot of effort. I mean to do two things at the
same time. But also by now I can recognize a lot of improvements in the parallel processing of things. Now it became much simpler than at the
beginning. By now I “need much less effort” to do this at the same time. Of course it is still far away for being automated, but as I said it takes
now much less effort doing two things at the same time. Now I am beginning to add a third process to the line. At the moment it seems almost
impossible to do this, but I am sure that as time goes by this will improve (at least I hope).
12.05.2009
Erasing text
If I write with my PC I recognized the following thing. If I mistyped or I put a character in the wrong place then I is difficult for me to get this
error and to correct it. In most cases I prefer to delete the word and then to write it a new.
13.05.2009
Automated processes
It is another thing which has improved in the last couple of month. If I work on my web-site and I have to do the same change on every page, it
is going much faster than before. Before I had to learn the steps every time a new, because I couldn’t remember what I did before. My short
term memory was very limited. I did “step1, step 2, step 4”, but as soon as I was trying to repeat it, I couldn’t do it. This process has now very
much improved. I have to learn the new process for some time, but then it goes over into an automated process. Of course the number of

steps I can perform is still very limited, but it is a really great success!
13.05.2009
Automated processes
It is another thing which has improved in the last couple of month. If I work on my web-site and I have to do the same change on every page, it
is going much faster than before. Before I had to learn the steps every time a new, because I couldn’t remember what I did before. My short
term memory was very limited. I did “step1, step 2, step 4”, but as soon as I was trying to repeat it, I couldn’t do it. This process has now very
much improved. I have to learn the new process for some time, but then it goes over into an automated process. Of course the number of
steps I can perform is still very limited, but it is a really great success!
17.05.2009
Build a Frame
About two years ago I build a frame. It took several hours and without help I wouldn’t have managed it. Of course with the blueprints you often
get, I even hat difficulties before my sickness. But before my sickness, I just changed strategies and I quickly managed it. After the beginning
of my sickness it took me hours to get a new plan. It took me such long to handle this, since I had do order thing a new. Now four years after
the beginning of my sickness have very much improved. But still, if I have to make new steps, I still recognize how difficult it is for me to invent
new steps. But as I said, thing very much improved over the time. Still I lack the easiness to solve new things. Before my sickness, I just
played around a bit and solved things quickly and in an easy manner. That is still lacking. But I am sure that this will also improve.
19.05.2009
Shoes

I always have reported if something doesn’t work or function properly. Then one day I have consciously recognized how difficult it is for my
daughter to put on her shoes. There I recognized how many things we always take for granted. I never had any difficulties putting on shoes. I
always took that for granted. But now after recognizing how difficult that process is for my daughter, I recognized of how many sub-processes
such a process is made. And all that was not damaged in my case.
21.05.2009
And another great event …
And another great event has happened to me. I can now again access parts of my memory that I thought that they were lost for ever. Within a
couple of days things now became accessible that I thought that they were lost for ever. I often tried to access that knowledge but until now I
did not find any mean to find a way to access that knowledge. What did happen? I had do delete files from my FTP-account. I gave the name
“vrtainment-||||” to this files. Creating and working with the files was no problem. But after a couple of days I had decided to delete the files on
my FTP server. But that I couldn’t. The FTP server always said that it can’t find the files. Normally that would have been the end of my
knowledge. But all of a sudden the command “del” came into my mind. I didn’t have success with that. Then there is the next “sudden”. I found
the command “rm”. At the beginning this didn’t work, because I had to delete a set of directories. Then the next “sudden” event. It came into
my mind that I have to use a flag that allows me to remove all directories. The flag is “rm –r vrtainment-||||“. And it was working!!! Before my
sickness that was every day business for me. But after my sickness I couldn’t find a way to access that part of my brain. I tried almost every
day to get there. But there was no way. Nothing that I tried did work. I thought that this part of my knowledge was lost forever. But now finally
parts of them are there again!!! Of course these are only parts of my knowledge, but it is there again. It took me four years to get there again. It
seems like I had to learn reading and writing again before I could access that part of my brain.
22.05.2009
Condition at the moment

The last half year many things improved very much. It is still far away from what I was able to do before I got sick. But now I am almost sure that I
will manage that all. As I say, there was a time when I had my doubts that I manage all that. Of course, the most important thing is that I am relatively
healthy (as far as I can say). But as well I have always been competitive with my current situation. I wanted to get to a point at which I am happy with the
working of my brain. Of course, it wouldn’t have been a tragic if I wouldn’t have managed that. I am sure that I would have found another solution to
manage my life in a different way. There are still many things to do. But now I am confident that I will manage many of those things. I was good to be
patient and always try to work on improvements and never give up. As I said before, the most import things is / was that I got my live as a present for my
self.
23.05.2009
Colors
I still have difficulties to name colors. Of course humans give different names to colors. But at least for the basic colors this is normally
consistent. I mean here “red”, “green”, “blue” and “yellow”. In terms of physiology I correctly see the colors. But naming the colors correctly is
still a problem. Especially when I do something else on the side or if I am not concentrated very many errors happen to me. As soon as I fully
concentrate on the task this improves very much.
26.05.2009
Seven days
I still have difficulties with the days of a week. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I can speak it
without any problem, but I still have difficulties with assigning the correct day. So e.g. I know that something happened on Friday, but I assign
Wednesday. The current status is that if I am concentrated, everything goes almost well. But as soon as I am not concentrated or I do
something else at the same time I run into those difficulties. It is like I lost the semantic meaning of a day. It is really strange. A week has only
seven days, but that is enough to run me into trouble.

29.05.2009
Games with math
Currently I am doing a lot of games with math in my brain. For instance I take a number “23” and then I have to consider with number I have to
take to reach “100”. In this case the solution is “77”. The whole thing is very good for me, since apart from math also my memory is improved,
since I am doing everything in my head. You can take every number that you want the task is just to do the addition. So e.g. I take the number
“137“ and then I have to add something to get to “339“. The result in that case is “202”. That is a lot of fun and it also means a good exercise
for my brain.
30.05.2009
Shopping in the supermarket
At the beginning of my sickness I barely went shopping. I would have got stuck by the many things you have to do in a supermarket. Especially
my memory was very, very weak. But by the time it all became much better. At the beginning I always went to the same supermarket. By the
time more and more things went into my brain. I barely took a list with me of what I should shop. I tried to keep everything in the brain. Usually
I take a basic set of things every time, i.e. I always shop the same. But at the same time I get a couple of things a new. So I always have a
mix, i.e. things which I always shop the same and things which are a new. After some time I also began shopping in different supermarkets.
After some time I recognized that this is a good training for my brain. It is kind of exhausting, but very helpful. And every time I go things are
getting better a bit. Sometimes I go shopping by bicycle, sometimes alone, sometimes with other people and sometimes now with my
daughter. This is very exhausting for me on the one hand, but on the other hand me helps me to make many things at the same time. And very
day I get a bit further with my progress …
31.05.2009
Writing

I have bought my daughter a blackboard for writing and painting. This is for drawing and painting with chalk and on the other side for drawing
with magnetic characters. Of course this is not only for my daughter, but as well for me. Writing on a blackboard is something completely
different from writing on a PC. When drawing with the magnetic characters I made the following observation. When I am not allowed to see the
characters, only to feel them, it is very difficult for me.
02.06.2009
Thoughts and Speech

t is still very difficult for me to make my world of thoughts coincide with my world of what I do. The Following example might help:
If I read the following lines, then I recognize very often that my world of thoughts and my doing are two different things. In my thoughts I count
“105.htm“, but my doing is saying “106.htm“. Who wins, is a mixture of 50 % 50. It depends a bit on what I concentrate. But the fact is that the
two things don’t fit together.
07.06.2009
Headword

If I read a text and I note some headwords on the side, then already after a couple of minutes I and not able to recover the text form that few
keywords. I see the keywords, but I can’t remember what I was trying to express. That happens to everyone, but for most people it is the case
that they can recover the text for a few keywords. But for me that is impossible. Once I have lost the text in my mind, I am not able to recover
that from the keywords. Only if I learn by hart for a couple of minutes (repeating several times), then I finally have a chance.
08.06.2009
Writing with chalk
With some time I will again try again with chalk. That fits quite well since my daughter also starts with doing characters and numbers. During
my sickness I always did writing with the computer. But I think it will be quite helpful to do it with chalk for a period. Writing with the PC is very
nice, but I think that the motor aspects of my writing need some more practice. I hope that my understanding of language gets improved by
that. Of course it is more exhausting than writing with my PC, but as I say it might improve my language understanding. You not only press a
key but I have to deal with the whole character.
09.06.2009
Trouser
When I dress a trouser it very often happens that I put it on in the wrong direction, so the back is on the front side. This is not only the case for
short trousers, but there I get it very often. I seems like I have a general tendency to change the sites. The some accounts also for shorts and
t-shirts.
10.06.2009

Math in my head
I already have mentioned several times that I count up- and downward on my mind. The same also accounts also for simple math. In the
meantime that already is quite good. But two things got my attention in the last couple of weeks. One thing is that if I change the type of
calculation, say I start with adding numbers and then I do some division then I am running into difficulties. So for instance I start with 13 + 17 =
? and then I go for a division like 36 / 4, then it take very long for my brain to switch to division. If I then do for a time only division it goes very
well. The second thing which I recognized is the following: If I do arithmetic operation like 30 + 9 that goes quite well. But as soon as I have to
exchange numbers to 9 + 30 I am running into trouble until I get the result.
27.06.2009
Baltic Sea
We were for some days at the Baltic Sea. For the first time since I became sick I was able to live without trouble in such a mass of people.
Normally I am within a couple of minutes I am completely overwhelmed. Normally if I see many people and if I am at a new place my
information processing gets into a bottleneck. By the lots of information my information processing is completely overwhelmed. This became
better now. I now can move under a crowed of people. Of course there are still many bottlenecks in information processing, but at least it is
now possible again!
01.07.2009
New Web-Design
New Web-Design of this pages.
22.08.2009
News
At the 11.08.2009 was the fourth anniversary of my Aneurysm. And it is beautiful to still be a part of this world.
In the last couple of month I did a lot of HTML and Javascript. It is still very difficult and very slow in creating documents, but it is getting better
every day. Slow, but constant. Now I also began with C++. So far I was trying it every month, but without success. But now I am finally at the

point that I understand enough to get it working again. Very simple programs, and progress is very, very slow, but finally after four years I
managed it. Still very slow, but I have made it. It seems like I have lost most of my knowledge, but at least there is a vague idea about what
programming is. And this step means a lot for me. That is really SUPER!!! In the new couple of month I will report about this on:
http://www.vrtainment.de/vrtainment/html/software/software.htm
30.08.2009
Numbers, Numbers and more Numbers
A couple of month ago I thought that I am done with numbers. But there I was wrong. Easy numbers in the range from zero to nine is no
problem. But as soon as I need numbers larger than this I am running into troubles. Especially with numbers with more than two digits. I guess
it had to do with the lack of memory of my brain. Due to the lack of memory I was always forced to enumerate the numbers digit by digit. It
make it clearer here is the following example: we have the digit 123. So far I had do name digit by digit. So we have "1" then "3" and then "2".
Please remember that the order of numbers is different in German. Now I am able to pronounce the numbers in a different way. I now take the
one and then "twenty-three". In German it is pronounced "eins" and then "drei-und-zwanzig". But that also means that I need to have "99"
numbers in my memory. This was so far not possible, but now it is. It is quite crazy, I do that now for 3 1/2 years and I couldn't get it working.
But now it is possible!!!!
As soon as I do something else on the site (apart from the numbers), I am still running into trouble. It can then happen that I am thinking a
different number in my brain from the one I name. In a sense it is not synchronized.
I have achieved another step. I now can correctly name numbers!!!
31.08.2009
Math
As I described yesterday I still have difficulties dealing with speaking and writing numbers. As soon as I switch to a non speaking mode, it is
now getting quite ok. Every day, if I am going for a walk with our dog, I do some math exercises. Sometimes I only count up and down and
sometimes I am doing basic math. So for example: 234 + 141= 375. These are five things I have to remember. The three digits, equal sign and
the arithmetic operator. And it is getting better and better. I am getting used to numbers in my environment. I am doing all four arithmetic
operators: plus, minus, multiply and dividing.

02.09.2009
Web-Pages
In the last couple of month I have done quite a lot with my web-pages. At the beginning it was very difficult, but in the meantime it is getting
quite ok. Most of the time I have been working in "Frontpage". Only a few pages I did with "Macromedias Dreamweaver". This was especially
then the case if I needed the connection with "Javascript". I have been working on the following projects:
05.09.2009
Field of View
www.vrtainment.de
www.capturepad.com
www.vr-soccer.de
www.aneurysma.org
www.hartwig-distler.de
www.ezelheim.de
My field of view is still relatively small. At the beginning of my disease I had to concentrate on single letters / characters to be able to read
something. To do something else at the same time or to concentrate on a larger field of view was not possible. This became much better. It is
still far away from what I have in my mind from the time before my disease, but it became much better. Now I can read the following text:

At the beginning of my disease this was impossible. There it was a hard job to read the single characters. In the meantime I can switch
between different sized field of views relatively fast. This was something I couldn't do at the beginning. My understanding of the text and the
speed of reading became much better.

06.09.2009
Programming in C++
Finally I have managed it to code in C++ again. This was one of my biggest wishes. Once a month I have tried to do it, but I always failed. Now
I can do it again. That was one of my biggest wishes. Much of my previous knowledge was lost or I cannot access it. But the feeling is still
there. And that is worth a lot. At the moment I can only write simplest programs and I have to search the Internet for example programs on how
to solve things. But it is an new beginning! I started to write about my programming attempts in
"http://www.vrtainment.de/vrtainment/html/software/software.htm".
16.09.2009
Memory
In the meantime the short-term memory is quite ok again. As well the long-term memory seems quite ok. At the beginning of my sickness I
couldn't access it at all, but now it is "normal". However I still have difficulties with the mid-term memory. The mid-term memory became also
much better, but it is still the most affected part of my brain. If I for example have to botch my bicycle the following things need to be done: I
have to demount the bike, botch the leakage and then I have to remount the bike again. Every step in that work process consists of many
small steps. At the moment it is not possible for me to see this as a whole process. I have to divide it into many small steps. As well I can't see
that all the steps belong together. In a sense I am living in a short term world. In general my memory is improving every day. Of course these
are only small steps, but it is continuous.
16.09.2009
Memory
In the meantime the short-term memory is quite ok again. As well the long-term memory seems quite ok. At the beginning of my sickness I
couldn't access it at all, but now it is "normal". However I still have difficulties with the mid-term memory. The mid-term memory became also
much better, but it is still the most affected part of my brain. If I for example have to botch my bicycle the following things need to be done: I
have to demount the bike, botch the leakage and then I have to remount the bike again. Every step in that work process consists of many
small steps. At the moment it is not possible for me to see this as a whole process. I have to divide it into many small steps. As well I can't see
that all the steps belong together. In a sense I am living in a short term world. In general my memory is improving every day. Of course these

are only small steps, but it is continuous.
20.11.2009
End of medicaments
In the follow up of my aneurysm I had an epileptic seizure. Starting from this point in time I had to take medicaments. I took the medicaments
for about three years. Now, finally after nine month of time in reducing the medicaments, I managed to stop the medicaments.
Very much happened in the last couple of month. Hopefully I will find the time in the near future to write that all down.
01.06.2010
... starting to work agin ...
I am working again!

My Parents

Aneurysm Mother & Father
06.02.2008
Impressions of my mother (written by my mother)
I remember the day of the accident and, the many weeks after it. Thursday, the 11. August 2005 was for me a day like any other - only
afterwards I recognized that I had an unusual unrest in me. Normally I do not believe in such things. But it was something that frightened me
completely fundamentally. The following morning then the message of Hartwig's accident. My man and I were as agitated by the thunder. How
does it continue with Hartwig, what happens next? We knew from a similar case in the circle of acquaintances, which found a good end after
relatively short time. Of course we hoped naturally also for our case for a similar result. I wanted to travel do Berlin as fast as possible - they
said that life is not 100 percent in danger - but how knows that? I call myself as a believing christian and tried with prayers to take comfort.
Having arrived in Berlin, Annett and I made together with Maya a first visit to the hospital. My first impression was rather frightening. Many
machines there, Hartwig fixed and without consciousness.
The next 4 weeks we saw ourselves daily twice at the hospital, but no news. Hartwig before hat healthy and strong - now helplessly,
participateless and dependently. We were always full of fear, which will happen next when we visited him. We tried to get reactions by body
contact. Sometimes we believed to feel an easy handshake. By high fever, unknown reason, his situation got worse. Different treatments did
not bring the expected success. Only the leg break healed relatively good.
We went to Hartwig into the room, one remained alternating with the child in the vestibule. After some weeks in which we waited without
success for a reaction of Hartwig, we - Annett, Maya and I again we where waiting grievedly in the vestibule as Hartwig was driven in the
hospital bed by. We waited in all the weeks in vain for a reaction and were considerable depressed.
What the trip was for and where Hartwig become attentive to the child, we don't know - he showed suddenly a reaction. We were lucky
together with the care forces and surprised. A controversy between the doctors and the care forces inflamed between the two forces. Would it
be an advantage to take a child also into the treatment room? We were allowed to take Maya also in the treatment room - once! We took her to

the bed of Hartwig - Maya at that time a good half year old - showed no fear and it were like a small miracle - Hartwig opened the eyes and
cared the child. We were so glad! Due to substantial doubts of the medical profession this attendance was unique. Even if in the consequence
still many difficulties and setbacks arose - this was the beginning of the improvement. It was of course a bit frightening to see how much of the
brain was damaged. But Hartwig was developing such a lot of optimism and was spending such a lot of effort to re-establish as much as
possible. And that is now, 2 1/2 years after that still necessary.
With beginning of the rehabilitation in Kladow Hartwig began to start to learn, learn and learn to improve his status. By his wife Annett he got
and he gets supported excellent. It makes us all happy that we can support him and we try to strengthen him. The balance of all efforts is so
far absolutely great and will surely continue.
We are happy that he kept his love-worth nature and we hope that he will be able to recover as fast as possible.
What I for my part experienced during that time, belongs to the worst experiences of my life. In all experienced fears, my believe in God was
the secure refuge in all emergencies. With this confidence I go into the future. Everything which I wrote, applies also to my husband.

Mrs Witt-
Weller

Aneurysm Frau Witt-Weller
22.05.2008
Logopaedia of Mr. Distler
Berlin, 18.5.2008
Anamnesis and diagnostics
Mr. Distler came to me at the 31.3.2006 to get logopaedia therapy. My name is Doris Witt Weller and I works in the logopaedia practice
Sandhöfner and Krause in the Turmstrasse in Berlin, Moabit.
In his first meeting Mr. Distler with accompanied with his wife and his small daughter, who at this time was still sitting in the buggy.
The first meeting was aimed to get to know each other. He told me that due to an aneurysma which happened to him on the 11.8.05 he had
suffered from a stroke. The stroke was also accompanied with a heavy bicycle accident with a lower leg fracture. Since then the right visual
field is reduced and he has problems with distinguishing left and right and also the language is substantially affected.
To the first 5 weeks of his half-a-year stay in the hospital he hardly doesn’t have any remembrance. There he received logopaedia therapy and
afterwards in the ambulatory rehabilitation afterwards about 4 to 5 times per week for 30 minutes language therapy.
Since then he was continuously fighting to learn to speak again. He was able to provide me all the information with liquid language.
Sometimes, if a word did not occur to him, he used suitable rewritings, so that the listener who didn’t know Mr. Distler before his disease
couldn’t notice a difference to a normal speaker.
After his own experience he could not speak at all at the beginning. But now things are improving everyday. At the beginning reading didn’t
work, then after some time, small, short, sentences. In general he has problems with the “ABC”, some sentences he can read, but with some

he has serious problems. As soon as he is reading articles he has problems to read.
From his private life I got to know what he had been a computer scientist working in the field of perception and research. He did work in his
own company. He did call himself a workaholic. He said that he only needs 4 hours of sleep and the rest of the time he was working a lot, but it
was mainly fun for him.
24.05.2008
Logopaedia
After this we met two times a week for 45 minutes each week for Logopaedia. In the first couple of hours I performed the aphasia test from Aachen
with Mr. Distler. I did this in order to get a picture of the existing deficits on the different linguistic levels. The AAT is a standardized test. In the case of Mr.
Distler the investigations of his language resulted in a anamnestic aphasia, this is the weakest form of a language disturbance. It means that he can speak
everyday life colloquial language but with a few small disturbances. With the repetition of sounds, words and sentences, as well as with the designation of
individual articles up to situation pictures Mr. Distler did not show/minimum disturbances.
With the language understanding easy disturbances arose, i.e., with more complex connections he could assign the word of the sentence
meanings not always clearly.
Mostly effected was the language writing. There Mr. Distler’s abilities were at the border between middle serious up to a small disturbance.
That expressed itself e.g. that he could express given things as a word characterized, but he wasn’t able to find the appropriate characters or
couldn’t add it in the right sequence.
26.05.2008
Contents of the therapy
After I had evaluated the test, we got together and were discussing which goals we wanted to obtain in the near future. Mr. Distlers largest

desire was it to learn reading and writing again, particularly in the view to be able to read out to his daughter later.
This goal he had in front of his eyes and was firmly decided to work hard to reach this. And the work began…
Been suitable to the renewed acquisition of the writing language appeared to me „Anagramm”, a fastidious program, in which with increasing
degree of difficulty all letters and combinations of letters of the “ABC” are learned anew again.
At the 26. 4. 2006 we began with the first chapter, in which the Grapheme T, H, A, U were introduced. Mr. Distler task was to put characters in
the correct sequence and to create small sentences such as „the woman has a colored hat“, or gap sets with a given words should be filled or
small cross word mysteries should be solved. Read exercises and writing after a dictation of sounds and words.
In order to embody the characters better in memory, we put together so called “Anlaut-Tabellen” (initial sound tables). Mr. Distler should
connect individual characters with certain articles like A for apple or H for head. For that purpose we took school like initial sound tables and
partially private words such as Distler for “D”. In the therapy I used magnet characters which Mr. Distler should pick out and assign. At home
he did use large wooden characters.
28.05.2008
Therapy 1
In order to get an idea of the time which he required to learn four or five new characters, it took about three weeks to obtain this. The
characters compiled in the therapy should be strengthened at home in small exercises. I could give to Mr. Distler never enough „homework“,
always everything was thoroughly and fast settled and beyond that tasks of diligence made.
Gladly Mr. Distler used even the smallest places, in order for example to fill hole DIN A 4 pages with A’s or H’s.
The 45 minutes of therapy were loosened up by interesting discussions. Mr. Distler always let me be part of his new experiences and
realizations over his experiencing language, the characters, the numbers, the memory… and I was fascinated from the almost childlike joy,
with which Mr. Distler did relearn the writing again, without ever complaining about his fate or express displeasure or express thoughts about

giving up.
That happens with my work as Logopaedia person more frequently that patients give themselves up and become depressive over their
suffered loss of the full language functions and give up themselves at some point. My task is then to give the patient again courage, to regain
her or his remaining abilities. That I did not need at Mr. Distler. He was always motivated.
Probably he had these phases as well, but he never let these phases win and so it always was a joy to accompany Mr. Distler’s linguistic
development. I admired and admire the power and his will to achieve and set these goals. The amount of work was enormous!
To sit daily hours for hours untiringly for the acquisition of new characters, that presupposes a very strong will and it is hard to believe for
someone who does not have this experience.
In the course of the coming months were added more characters until the whole alphabet was compiled.
The degree of difficulty of the tasks became higher and more fastidious thereby. With the learned characters he had to solve syllable mysteries
or the task was to complete text with gaps.
Secret code had to be recognized in the text like e.g. “L” and “J” had to be replaced with “J” and “Q”. Another task was to decipher text from a
long sentence, which did not have any gaps (e.g. iamhartwigdistlerandiamhappytolearnreadingagain (I am Hartwig Distler and I am happy to
learn reading again)). Another task was to find hidden words in a word.
30.05.2008
Therapy 2
Parallel to the exercise program memory exercises were done (not completely as much as was needed, but since he received “Ergotherapie”
and also did use a computer program (Cogpack). To break up a bit we were playing memory or made tasks of word identification like finding
topics or finding subtopics. Mr. Distler e.g. should find all possible animal terms. Thereby I learned then that Mr. Distler had studied biology.
In the course of time abilities to write and read increased very much. At the beginning it was still very difficult for him to read individual words,

after some month he improved very much and also in writing he had good success. But especially when writing words it was obvious that it
took him some time to get words correct.
At the end of the year Mr. Distler announced that he wanted to terminate the therapy. In order to have an objective proof of the progress in
black and white, I performed the aphasia test from Aachen with him again.
The results were impressing: Within all linguistic ranges he had improved and particularly with the writing language and with the language
understanding he had ascended from the middle disturbance to the minimum or no disturbance level. Of course he did not yet completely
recover to the state he had before, but he was able to express himself and that is a very good result!
With a small regret I terminated with the meeting at 17.1.2007 the therapy. With a small regret, because I enjoyed the co-operation with him as
well as I got new thoughts and new ideas. Above all I will not forget the positive view of life and this will always accompany me, when ever I
don’t feel so well …