August 2006 Ensign - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

ILLUSTRATED BY GREGG THORKELSON
54
Finding My Firm
Foundation
As I experienced the darkest
days of my life, the words of
my mother sank deep into
BY STEVEN D. BROWN
my heart: “The Lord will
never forsake you.”
One week after I graduated from high school, I
enlisted in the United States Air Force Reserves.
I would enter basic training in San Antonio, Texas.
I looked forward to leaving the small community where I
had grown up and to being on my own.
During my last few months of high school, I had developed
apathy toward the gospel and my testimony of it. I
believed it was true, but everything in my life was going so
well that I thought it didn’t matter whether or not I said
my prayers, read the scriptures, or attended church.
As I said good-bye to my parents to leave for basic training,
my mother reminded me that the
Lord would never forsake me and exhorted
me to turn to Him in my hour of need.
From the first day of basic training, I experienced
an intense culture shock as I underwent the
transformation from civilian into Air Force airman. The
environment was demanding and hostile, and I developed
a deep regret for my decision to enlist. I felt alone and
utterly hopeless as the days dragged on, and I developed a
homesickness that made me want to admit defeat and quit.
As I experienced the darkest days of my life, the words of
my mother sank deep into my heart. For the first time in my
life, I cried out to my Father in Heaven in
the agony of my soul to please forgive
me for my earlier apathy. I told Him
that I needed Him, and I begged
Him to help me.
After a long and difficult
two weeks, we were allowed
to attend church services of
our choice. For the first time in
my life, I yearned to attend