March 7, 2013 Issue of KONK Life - KONK Network

m a r c h 7 - 1 3 

Published Weekly 

KONK Life 

NEWS DIRECTOR Guy deBoer 

EDITOR|DESIGN Dawn deBoer 

PHOTOGRAPHERS Larry E. Blackburn, 

Ralph De Palma, Sheel Sheelman 

EDITORIAL CONSULTANT Connie Gilbert 

CONTRIBUTORS 

Guy deBoer Key News | Louis Petrone Key West Lou 

Steve Calderwood Wining the Keys |David Lybrand 

KONK Reactor | JT Thompson Hot Dish 

Scott McCarthy The Gadabout | Kimberley Denney 

Bitchin Paradise | Paul Menta What’s Cookin’ 

Christina Oxenberg Local Observation | Jenessa 

Berger Keep Moving 

ON-AIR PERSONALITIES 

BEV ALLEN, PETER ANDERSON, GUY deBOER, BO FODOR, 

STEPHANIE KAPLE, SHAUNA LEE LANGE, VICTORIA LEIGH, LOUIS 

PETRONE, M. L. PRICE, MICHAEL SHIELDS, JIM SMITH, SOPHIA 

SKOGLUND, ALICE TALLMADGE, RICHARD TALLMADEGE, 

MATT GARDI, RICK BOETTGER, JIM FERRIS, STEP WISCHERTH, 

MICHELE MECK 

ADVERTISING 305.296.1630 

Marc Hollander|305.619.4414 

marckeyboard@earthlink.net 

Lee Hines leehines007@gmail.com 

305-849-3473 

John Sarantopoulos JohnTheKwAdMan@gmail.com 

305-923-3696 

Advertising Deadline Every Friday 

PRINT-READY advertising materials due by 

Friday every week for next issue of KONK Life 

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Send to production@konkbroadcasting.com 

CIRCULATION 

Kavon Desilus ASSISTANT 

William Rainer ASSISTANT 

KONK Life is published weekly by 

KONK Broadcasting Network in Key West, 

Florida. Editorial materials may not be reproduced 

without written permission from the network. 

KONK Broadcasting Network 

RADIO ❙ TELEVISION ❙ INTERNET 

Key West, Florida 

(305) 768-0282 Fax| (305) 296-1630 Office 

www.konklife.com 

www.konklife.com 3 

INSIDE! INSIDE! INSIDE! 

INSIDE! INSIDE! INSIDE! KONK 

SPOTLIGHT 

07 

HAPPENINGS 

08 

FUN TIMES 

16 

COLUMNS 

09 WINING THE KEYS 

11 THE GREAT DEBATE 

21 FILM | AT THE TROPIC 

22 IN THE ARTS 

Life 

Vol. 3 No. 10 

C 

O NTENTS 

‘Seminar’ in final days 

Final week for “Seminar,” March 7-10, runs 

ursday to Sunday at Kelly’s Caribbean, 

upstairs, at 301 Whitehead St. Private, 

themed dinner served from 6:30 p.m. 

Curtain at 8 p.m. Show tickets are $35. 

Show and dinner $60. • SEMINAR by eresa Rebeck, Broadway and creator 

of TV’s SMASH, is a sharply humorous, captivating play where four young writers 

explore their mettle in a high-priced seminar led by an elitist ex-novelist with 

hyper-critical skills and no diplomacy. Will the young writers have the courage 

to succeed? Will the seminar leader demonstrate the ability, or desire, to tease 

out their talents or crush their dreams? | THEATRE more on page 8. 

INFO www.keywestfringe.org

up 

front 

M O N R O E C O U N T Y E D U C A T I O N 

Monroe County School District 

An independent, free fraud reporting system 

Where the Monroe County School District has fallen short, 

local political columnist Matt Gardi has picked up the 

ball. Gardi, former Information Technology director for the Office of 

the State Attorney, has published a “Report Fraud” form for the Monroe 

County School District on his website www.nakedconch.com. 

“I was beside myself listening to the nonsensical discussion regarding 

this much needed functionality,” Gardi said. “Not only should it be available, 

it shouldn’t cost the taxpayers a dime.” 

For his part, Gardi implemented a similar form for the State Attorney in 

2009, which cost nothing to implement and use. He previously coached the 

school district on free methods of streaming school board meetings, putting 

a critical meeting of board-appointed Superintendent Porter online. 

“It’s not even a question that these kind of inexpensive, simple solutions 

exist, and that my 12-year-old nephew could deploy them, but somehow the 

District is at a loss as to how to appropriately implement them,” Gardi said. 

He suggested difficulties stem from advice or solutions the Board and Administration 

receive from a deficient Information Technology Department, 

and that the entire department should be audited by a third party, such as 

the schools financial system endures. 

“Everyone is reliant on the advice of the only available expert in the 

school system,” Gardi said, “and that’s a problem. e costs financially and 

functionally associated with potential shortcomings are enormous . . . and 

obvious. Just ask a teacher.” 

e complaint form is a basic, fill in the blank, no nonsense document 

published on the web and available to the public. Submissions are forwarded 

to the School Board, Audit and Finance Committee, as well as the 

Superintendent and the School District attorney on a weekly basis. Media 

can gain access on a case-by-case basis, but all submissions would be available 

by making a public record request of the School District. 

ere is no guarantee those receiving the submissions will do anything 

with them, but Gardi suggests that due to the broad base of individuals receiving 

complaints, inactivity when action is needed will be highlighted by 

the public and media. 

| Continued on page 21 

4 ww.konklife.com

ART CART 

RALPH de PALMA | photographer 

A PIMPED OUT RIDE 

ww.konklife.com 5

GET YOUR 

WELLNESS 

LIFESTYLE CHANGE 

CAN WORK 

I ’ve recently changed some of my thinking on getting 

in shape or eating healthier or making any sort if 

lifestyle change. A lot of people want to make a list of 

everything they want to eliminate from their diet or 

daily routine. I think starting any sort of lifestyle 

change on a negative note, which is what eliminating 

seems like to me, will automatically lead to failure. I 

believe there are so many positive things that can be 

added to one’s life that eventually the bad will be well 

outweighed. is can be applied to every aspect of life 

— food, exercise, work, even socially. 

e food part of this is the easiest. Everyone knows 

how hard it is to stop eating the really good tasting but 

bad for you foods. So here’s the plan: add a big healthy 

dark green salad with lots of veggies on it before your 

starchy carb loaded meal. If you do that, chances are 

you will feel a bit fuller before you eat your dinner and 

also be getting tons of healthy vitamins and minerals 

and lots of fiber without sacrificing anything. Just find 

one healthy thing to add to your meal. Just by adding in 

something, chances are the bad-for-you things will start 

shrinking in size. 

Other people want to give up some habit they have, 

be it smoking, bottle of wine after work, or any other 

vice one may have. But most people don’t really want 

to give any of these up. ey just know they should and 

feel better about themselves if they did. 

My theory on this is to add something good for 

your mind or body. Join a softball team, go for a walk 

BEFORE you get home from work and have that bottle 

of wine, or add a bike ride into your morning routine. 

Chances are that by adding one small healthy and 

positive action, your whole routine will begin to 

change. 

e next time you’re listening to someone rattle off 

all the things they want to give up in order to get 

healthier or lose weight or change any other part of 

their life, try to find something affirmative for them 

to add in. And be positive about the changes they are 

trying to make. Eeeryone needs a helpful and reassuring 

support system in any life change. 

e 

JENESSA 

B E R G E R 

C O L U M N I S T 

6 www.konklife.com

Ginger King, Doug Mayberry join up 

Ginger King joined up with Doug Mayberry’s real 

estate firm as a broker sales associate. Originally from 

Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, she came to Key West via 

Washington, D.C. 17 years ago. She has been a corporate 

COO and CEO, a small business owner and a certified 

Florida Mortgage Broker. She has been selling real 

estate in Key West for nine years, holding certification 

in short sales and foreclosures from the National Association 

of REALTORS®, At Home With Diversity and 

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT 

Transnational Referral Certification. She also has served 

on the board of Key West Association of REALTORS®. 

She has been a longtime member of Key West Business 

Guild and has served on its Board of Directors 

and as secretary. Community activities include the Old 

Island Restoration Foundation, AIDS Help, Key West 

Real Estate Association, Sister Season Fund and Florida 

Keys Community College Foundation. Her extensive 

involvement in these organizations and other local 

charities won her numerous distinctions and honors. 


K E Y B U S I N E S S I N K E Y W E S T 

KFCU, Teens Financial Network 

A new program to inform teenagers about finances 

and life, CU Succeed®, is now available at Keys Federal 

Credit Union. Teen club provides a quarterly newsletter 

on financial topics, comprehensive website that serves 

as financial resource, an educational Facebook page, 

“Claim Your Youth” and more. For information about 

joining CU Succeed®, call (305) 294-6622. 

INFO 

KeysFCU.org

up 

froNT 

March 7-30: 

The Drowsy Chaperone 

by Bob Martin and Don McKellar. 

Opening night March 7 features gala 

after-party sponsored by Gordon 

Keiser. Lavish production on a local 

stage. With 250 period costumes, 

cast of 18, production numbers and 

appearance from a 1920’s-style biplane, 

this musical comedy sets the 

heart soaring. Cast a galaxy of Key 

West stars as well as new talent: 

David Black, Laurie Breakwell, 

Carolyn Cooper, Jeffrey Harwell, 

Andrew Hodge, Rhett Kalman, J. B. 

McLendon, Kristen Michelle, Bruce 

Moore, Michael Pallansch, Kyla Piscopink, 

Heather-May Potter, Vicki 

Roush, Marjorie Paul Shook, Philip 

Griffin Tabb, Chris Tanner, Willie 

Alsedec and Danny Weathers. 

Production sponsored by Preferred 

Properties Coastal Realty, Inc. Season 

sponsors Digital Island Media, Royal 

Furniture and Wodu Media. 

RSVP 

Box Office, (305) 294-5015, 

WaterfrontPlayhouse.org 

March 8 

North of Havana Cigar Social 

Club gathering canceled 

March 8 gathering of the North 

of Havana Cigar Social Club is 

canceled at Smokin’ Tuna but 

some will meet 5-7pm at Hog’s 

Breath (minus the raffle). 

THEATER 

IN REVIEW 

‘Time Stands Still’ 

March 12 to April 13 | 8pm 

Written by Pulitzer Prize 

winner Donald Margulies and 

directed by Joy Hawkins, the 

drama is about the evolution of 

relationships set in an environment 

of intense social issues. It 

was nominated for two Tony 

awards. e characters wellwritten, 

warm, funny, human. 

Central dilemma recognizable 

to us all: What to do when you 

and the person you love are at 

different points in your lives. 

Margulies described meaning 

of the play “to capture a sense 

of the way we live now, to 

dramatize things that thinking, 

feeling, moral people are think 

about and struggle with.” 

‘Tea for Three’ 

March 17 to April 8 | 8pm 

Emmy Award-winning 

Elaine Bromka portrays three 

former first ladies in onewoman 

show as Bromka shares 

their secrets revealing personal 

cost of the “hardest unpaid job 

in the world.” Written by Eric 

H. Weinberger with Elaine 

Bromka, the play is a witty 

behind-the-scene look at Lady 

Bird Johnson, Pat Nixon and 

| ROBERTA DePIERO 

Betty Ford who find they are 

celebs. Acclaimed for its 

humor and passion, it zeroes 

in on linking their 

stories by revealing 

each one at the end 

of her time in the 

White House. 

‘Love Loss’ 

March 17 to 

April 8 | 8pm 

Sunday-Monday 

Extraordinary 

Ephron wit ignites 

in a funny and 

poignant mix-up of 

monologues tagging 

life events to failed 

purses, sexy boots 

and unfortunate 

prom dresses. Five 

women actresses leapfrog stories 

from their lives recalling 

garments that were worn, the 

outfits their mothers insisted 

on and the strange obsessions 

with shoes. Carole MacCartee 

directs this lighthearted peek 

into five women’s lives, starring 

Chris Stone, Rebecca Gleason, 

Melody Moore, Stephanie 

Sander and Stephanie Yosen. 

Bob Smith is Assistant Director, 

Stage Manager, Master 

Electrician and Sound and the 

set is by founding Red Barn 

member Gary McDonald. 

INFO 

www.redbarntheatre.com, 

(305) 296-9911; Box Office, 

319 Duval St., rear 

8 www.konklife.com 

e 

“Betty Ford” 

KEY 

HAPPENINGS 


Relay for Life 

First State Bank of the Florida Keys’ 

gigantic yard sale and car wash 7-11 a.m. 

Saturday at its Main Office at 1201 Simonton 

St. Relay for Life celebrates survivorship 

and raises money for the 

American Cancer Society. 

INFO Relay for Life, KeysBank.com 

Montessori Children’s School 

Montessori Children’s School of Key 

West annual Open House for prospective 

new students 10:30 a.m. -12:30 

p.m. Saturday, 1221 Varela St. 

League of Women Voters 

Lower Keys’ LWV holds a Sea Level Rise 

Update at 10 a.m. to noon Saturday at 

the EcoDiscovery Center at Truman 

Waterfront. Program free and open 

to public. Seating limited. 

NFO (925) 640-7022 


Bha’i’ program 

e Bha’i’ community and the First 

Congregational Church of Key West 

offer interfaith, unity program 11 a.m. 

Sunday at 527 William St. Special guest 

Baha’i American Indian Kevin Locke, 

storyteller and dancer. 

INFO (305) 849-2401 

Sister Season Fund 

Southernmost Spring Fashion Show 

launches 7 p.m. Sunday at Southernmost 

House. Doors open at 6 p.m. 


Friends of the Library 

Political analyst Lou Harris speaks at the 

next Friends of the Key West Library lecture, 

6 p.m. Monday, March 11, Studios 

of Key West, 600 White St. Doors open 

5:30 p.m. e Dean of American pollsters 

speaks on “How America Will 

Solve Its Crises.” He was chief polling 

analyst for CBS News and later ABC 

News as well as columnist for the Washington 

Post, Newsweek, Chicago Tribune 

and New York Daily News. 

Art talks at Higgs Beach 

Gallery owner Nance Frank and Vera 

Vasek speak 6 p.m. about installations of 

international artists William ompson 

and Gereon Krebber on Higgs Beach. 

Frank of Gallery on Greene exhibits 

work by ompson. Sculptor Vera Vasek 

was guiding spirit behind Krebber’s installation. 

After party at Salute on HIggs 

Beach follows the talk.

Part II 

Ghosts, phanthoms and 

wining 

the keys 

W I N E A B I T, Y O U L L F E E L B E T T E R 

specters . . . 

Yeah, I’m still blabbing 

on about my vacation 

with the lovely Leslie to Northern 

Cal wine country, and we’re only 

now getting to Day 2. 

But did Day 2 start off in a 

wonderful way. We showed up at 

Sonoma-Cutrer and pulled up to a 

magnificent winery/business facility. 

I mean, we’re talking about 

manicured crocket courts! 

We went inside the lobby and 

were met our host, Beth, who took 

us into the tasting room and gave us 

an overview of the properties, soils 

and climates and which blocks were 

planted with what varietals/clones. 

Sonoma-Cutrer is almost exclusively 

chardonnay, but they now also grow 

pinot noir in very small quantities 

and many different clones of chard. 

Beth took into the vineyards to 

show their sustainable farming 

techniques, trellising techniques 

and just to taste a few of the last 

unpicked berries. Delicious. 

We then stopped at the pinot 

noir winery, which was literally two 

small barns. Pinot is treated like a 

stepchild when compared to the 

chardonnay facilities, but then we 

met the assistant winemaker in 

charge of pinot, and you could see 

this stepchild got a lot 

of love. She took us 

over to a freshly pressed 

“cake,” the remains of 

the pressing of the 

grapes, and had us 

smell the aromas wafting 

off of it. Superb. 

We then went to the 

chardonnay winery, a 

huge state-of-the-art 

facility. We toured the cave where 

the chards were going through fermentation 

in the barrels. Again, the 

aromas were flowing all around us. 

Finally we went into the tasting 

room, and Beth brought out all five 

of their chardonnays — two blends 

and two single vineyards plus the 

reserve chard and the pinot noir. As 

STEVE 

C A L D E R W O O D 

ww.konklife.com 9 

we tasted, Terry Adams, the director 

of winemaking, joined us and 

added his perspective on the wines. 

All outstanding. 

During our visit, one interesting 

aspect of Sonoma-Cutrer ownership 

came out. Brown Forman, a huge 

wine and liquor conglomerate now 

owns S-C, but the nice thing is 

you’d never know it — with one e 

xception. Corporations have been 

buying wineries and most come in 

with a heavy hand, influencing 

product quality, marketing, even 

changing winemakers to suit their 

needs. Well, for the most part, this 

is not true at S-C. 

Terry has been the winemaker at 

S-C since 1991, and Brown Forman 

knew a good thing. I can honestly 

say the quality has continued to rise 

in the wines. e issue I had is BF 

has decided to take the S-C brand 

to retail. It was almost exclusively 

available in restaurants plus a few 

high-end wine shops. Now they’ve 

been coaxed (with a BFH) to create 

a second cuvee for the retail market, 

with the Sonoma-Cutrer label — 

the Sonoma Coast appellation. We 

tasted it alongside restaurant-only 

labels, and while it was different, it 

was damn good. e good side of 

this is we’ll now be able to pick up a 

S-C wine at more wine shops, even 

supermarkets. e bad side is this is 

usually the first step to increased 

production levels that 

can result in reduced 

quality because supermarkets 

don’t like stock 

outages. e jury is still 

out, but Terry seems to 

have his hands thoroughly 

around it (or 

maybe around someone’s 

neck.) We’ll see. 

As always, remember 

if you want to get the email 

newsletter Smokin’ Vines, a listing 

of all the food and booze events in 

the Keys, send your name and email 

to wineslut@me.com and I’ll add 

you to the list. 

at’s it for this week so, until 

next time, keep whining! 

e

MIMoSAS & 

millery 

Hats by Mad Hatter 

10 ww.konklife.com 

| LARRY BLACKBURN

HELP STUDY SPOTTED EAGLE RAYS 

Learn how you can help Mote Marine Laboratory researchers 

document spotted eagle rays, a mysterious species whose 

movement patterns in the wild are mostly unknown to science, during a free 

talk by Mote senior biologist Kim Hull, who reveals how she and her team 

study spotted eagle rays. Divers, anglers, snorkelers and others can help look 

for Aetobatus narinari hotspots in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary. 

e talk, “Spotted Eagle Ray Conservation Research: How YOU can 

Help” — 7 p.m. (doors open at 6:45 p.m.) ursday, March 7 — is hosted 

by NOAA’s Florida Keys Eco Discovery Center in the Dr. Nancy Foster 

Florida Keys Environmental Complex, 33 East Quay Road in Key West. 

Top: A spotted eagle ray swims off Florida’s Gulf coast. 

These rays will be the topic of a March 7 talk by Mote Marine 

Laboratory scientists in the Florida Keys, where Mote is asking 

the public to help document rays for research and conservation. 

with KIM HULL | photographer 


ROBBED BY THE NAVY 

Our new Republican Representative 

Holly Raschein 

is supporting a government takeover of a 

private-sector enterprise. And it’s money 

out of my own personal pockets. 

I’m a landlord. I own rental units 

down the block from Peary Court on 

White Street. I pay real estate taxes. 

Holly and the Florida legislature want 

to make more money for the government 

by unfairly competing with me. How? 

By exempting properties that used to be 

military housing, even after they’ve been 

sold off to be used by non-military 

renters. at is, folks who might want to 

pay my rents, which in part go to pay my 

RE tax, now can go to Peary Court 

where rents are lower and landlord’s 

profits still higher. I’m screwed. Even 

the resale value of my property is lower 

because it competes with properties that 

don’t have to pay the RE tax. 

Raschein writes that a 1996 act 

authorized public-private partnerships to 

develop military housing. Yes, that is 

true, but that act applied exclusively to 

its use as MILITARY housing. It has no 

provisions for making money by renting 

or selling to civilians. In fact, the act 

contains such nuggets as “conveyances 

for use as housing for the homeless shall 

be without consideration.” at is, the 

act authorizes giving away military 

property for such high civic purposes. 

ink how times have changed! It 

used to be our public lands were used for 

the defense of America, which we all 

patriotically support, and it 

had the side benefit that 

some of our federal tax 

dollars came back to us 

from the salaries and expenditures 

of military personnel 

stationed here. Now, as the 

military pulls back, it uses 

“their” land — which is, of 

course, We e People’s land 

— not for any military purposes 

but as a cash cow. 

Worse, the extra money they make 

by not having to pay RE tax does not 

even stay in our community — part 

goes to Washington, and the rest goes 

to their foreign partners! 

I met with the Appraiser’s Office last 

year to discuss my suing the Navy, for I 

THE GREAT 

DEBATE 

have legal cause, due to my financial 

losses caused by their breaking their 

own laws. I was relieved at that time to 

find they had already determined, along 

the same line of thinking as my own, 

that property tax was quite properly 

owed, at least for the buildings, if not 

on the land still leased by the Navy. 

It mystifies me that anyone representing 

me and the other private sector landlords 

in the Keys would take the 

government’s side against us. Our 

military is exorbitantly funded through 

our federal taxes. ey do not need to, 

in effect, tax private property owners in 

this back-door fashion by sucking money 

out of our pockets. How indeed can 

Republicans be behind this? 

ree theories: Southeast Housing 

LLC has hypnotic, deep-pocketed 

lobbyists, and Raschein’s rather new at 

this. Or a vague feeling that anything the 

military wants is sacred, even if it breaks 

its own laws and robs citizens like me. 

Worst is what a friend suggested, that 

we’re afraid to stand up to the Navy. Was 

the restriction on our port that killed 

that Truman Marina project just a shot 

across our bow? Is Raschein properly 

afraid of what they might do next, if we 

don’t give them their RE exemption? 

I so do not want to believe the last 

option that I choose not to. But we need 

a much better explanation from our 

representative than legally inaccurate 

arguments that read as though they were 

written by Southeast’s lawyers. 

I, in fact, sent my 

private-sector arguments 

to Raschein before she 

changed her mind. 

She — or Southeast’s 

lawyers — answered none 

of my points. 

She did not say, “On the 

one hand it hurts landlords, 

RICHARD but on the other hand . . . ” 

B O E T T G E R Her argument read 

C O L U M N I S T as though she were an 

advocate for only one side, as opposed 

to being the judge hearing both sides 

before deciding. So, I guess that’s why we 

have actual judges and juries, and the 

court of public opinion, as our defense 

against injustice. 

e

FLAMINGO 

DISCO 


LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer

NOW WE’RE 

COOKIN’! 

THE FLORIDA KEY LIME 

Say what you will about 

this winter, but spring 

has kinda sprung. When you ride 

your bike around the island, you 

start to see trees blooming. One in 

particular is making a comeback — 

the key lime tree. Before you think I 

am going to give you a key lime pie 

recipe, please continue to read, as I 

am not. You can look in my cook 

book, “Native Fuel,” or Dave Sloan’s 

“e Key Lime Pie Book” to get 

tons of recipes on the beloved pie. I 

want to look at the other great 

things this lime from the Keys can 

offer us. 

Let’s start with a key lime can 

only be called that if it’s grown in 

the Florida Keys, hence your advantage 

to all these trees popping up 

around the island and making a 

comeback. First thing you 

need do when you see 

one is smell its flowers. 

Amazingly unique smell. 

When the tree blooms, 

it tends to give a lot of 

fruit. When the fruit is 

on the ground and yel- 

low, they are full of flavor. 

Don’t pick the 

green fruit. 

O.K., a few ideas for 

these limes. Key lime 

aide is a drink you can have and get 

loads of vitamins. Add local honey 

like Jamaican dogwood and you 

PAUL 

M E N T A 

EXTREME CHEF 

www.keywestfuel.com 


have a sweet and tart drink. Move 

over lemon aide! 

Take any fish or seafood and 

marinate it in key lime juice and 

pulp. It will go to a whole new flavor 

level. If your thinking I don’t 

want to eat raw seafood, that’s O.K. 

Marinate seafood for an hour, then 

lightly pan fry or bake. You will see 

the difference in how the acids of 

the lime tenderize and flavor. 

If you only get one or two limes, 

a salad dressing is easy to make with 

vinegar and oil. Just squeeze the 

lime in, add sea satt and pepper for 

a real treat. 

O.K., last thing you can do with 

one lime or more is peel the skin 

off, cut the lime in small wedges 

[not slices] and add some sea salt to 

the wedges, then cover in dark 

chocolate and chill in 

fridge. Talk about taking 

your tastebuds out on a 

date. is will become a 

new favorite. And you 

can only get these great 

limes right here in the 

Florida Keys! 

So get local and 

remember, like the song, 

“ya put the lime in the 

coconut and shake it all 

up!” 

e 

Eat local and always with a friend! 

Aloha

14 ww.konklife.com 

key west 

LAWN PARTY 

k 

CROQUET 

TOURNAMENT 

LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer

www.konklife.com 15

i n s i d e ! 

(Clockwise from right) 

Smokin’ Tuna Saloon 

Bil Kraus 

Green Parrot Bar 

Earphunk 

Island Dogs 

Lo-Fi’s 

m a r c h 7 - 1 3 

16 www.konklife.com

F U N T I M E S 

Smokin’ Tuna Saloon 

4 Charles St., off the 

200 block Duval Street, 

(305) 517-6350 

n 

Thursday 

Scott Kirby 5pm 

Caffeine Carl & the Buzz 

9:30pm 

Friday-Saturday 


Rusty Lemmon Band 9:30pm 

Saturday 


Nace Brothers 6pm 

Rusty Lemmon 9:30pm 

Sunday-Monday 

Bil Kraus 5:30pm 

Caffeine Carl and Rusty 

Lemmon Band 9pm 

Tuesday 

Nick Norman 9pm 

Wednesday 

Lewis Brice 6pm 

Nick Norman 9:30pm 


601 White St., (305) 294-6133 

n 

Friday-Sunday 

Spiritual Rez 

5:30pm and 10pm Friday; 

10pm Saturday; 5:30pm Sunday 

Boston-based reggae funk horn 

party starts with a dose of oldschool 

Marley-Toots-Tosh reggae 

and infuses it with everything 

from Sun Ra Arkestra freak jazz 

to Steve Vai guitar pyrotechnics. 

Inventive intersections like these 

define Spiritual Rez which has 

toured the country promoting positive 

music and attitude. The band 

has played with international acts 

Smokin’ Tuna 

Nace Brothers 


Green Parrot 

Spiritual Rez 

like George Clinton and Parliament-Funkadelic 

and Toots and 

the Maytals. Winners of the 

Boston Music Award for Best 

World Music Act and alumni of 

the Berklee College of Music, the 

band provides a unique blend of 

reggae, funk, Afrobeat and rock 

blending chill island grooves with 

raucous urban tribal vibes. 

0313-14 

Earphunk 10pm Wednesday 

Wednesday, March 13 at 10 p.m.; 

5:30pm and 10pm Thursday 

Up-and-coming New Orleans 

jam-funk band makes a Parrot 

debut.,] Emerged as one of the 

premier jam acts in the Southeast. 

Quintet brand of high-energy 

funk, inspired improvisation 

and dynamic stage production. 

| Continued on page 18



601 White St., (305) 294-6133 

n 

| Continued from page 17 

0315-17 

Entrain 10pm Wednesday 

5:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Friday and 

Saturday; 5:30 p.m. Sunday 

Drum-driven sensation from 

Martha’s Vineyard merges funk, 

rock, reggae, swamp and world 

beat rhythms. Praised for ability 

to shift effortlessly between musical 

styles from rock, Blues, calypso, 

zydeco and jazz to world 

beat. Synchronization of rhythms 

from funk to ska, African, Afro- 

Cuban, zydeco and folk rock. 

Schooner Wharf Bar 

202 Williams St., 292-3302 

www.schoonerwharf.com 

n 

Thursday Cool Duo 7-11pm 

Friday-Sunday 

Michael McCloud Noon-5pm 

Oyster Johnny & A200 

7pm-Midnight 

Five-piece band hails from 

Southwest Florida. Unplugged 

style. 

Schooner Wharf Bar 

Oyster Johnny & A200 


Monday 

Raven Cooper Noon-5pm 

River Underground 7-11pm 

(Formerly Skraeling) Fusion of 

Celtic, country, rock and maritime-filled 

music. 

Talented upbeat combo of fiddle, 

rhythm guitar and Celtic rhythms 

on drums. Featuring new and 

original songs as well as crowd 

favorites. 

B.O.’S Fish Wagon 

Caroline and William streets 

n Thursday 

Southernmost Magnolia 

6-9pm 

Key West’s version of the 

renowned New England band 

Magnolia plays Cajun, country 

and bluegrass. Led by singer and 

guitarist Maggie Moniz with local 

fixtures Steve Gibson/mandolin, 

Cindy Jefferson/bass and worldfamous 

Chuck Sherman/pedal 

steel. Good time music to get the 

toes tapping, feet moving and 

head bopping. 


B.O.’s Fish Wagon 

Southernmost Magnolia



Pier House 

Rose Bonanza 

The Pier House 

Wine Gallery Piano Bar, 

One Duval, 296-4600 

n 

Friday-Monday 7pm 

Singer/pianist Larry Smith Jazz, 

popular standards, originals, guest 

singers and instrumentalists. 

Guests, 9pm. 

Sunday Showcase 9pm 

Singer/songwriter Rose 

Bonanza, March 10, from Wilmington, 

North Carolina, singing popular 

standards and jazz tunes with a generous 

sampling of foreign language 

songs and original compositions. Described 

as petite, blond and passionate, 

Bonanza has performed sultry 

brand of torch songs from Las Vegas 

and Manhattan and throughout Europe. 

She reunites with Larry Smith 

and her special guest and friend, 

Michael Thomas. 

NEXT WEEK: Singers Kathleen 

Peace and Christine Cordone perform 

Irish music at their annual Irish 

St. Patrick’s Day concert, March 17. 

Monday Jazz Jam Night 9pm 

Featuring drummer Skipper Kripitz 

and bassist Tim Mc Alpine. These 

sessions have become a requisite for 

visiting professional musicians and a 

weekly meeting place for local 

instrumentalists and singers in 

elaxed improvisational forum. 

Southernmost Cigar 

Club/90 Mile Lounge 

300 Front St., upstairs at 300 Front 

St., corner of Front and Whitehead 

streets, (305) 509-7780 

n Live blues seven nights a week 

Wednesday 0307 7pm 

The Blues Cousins, Bubba Lownotes/ 

bass, Sparky Price/vocals, guitar, 

Mike Sweeney/drums 

Thursday-Saturday 

Moose and the Bulletproof Blues 

Band 7pm-Midnight 

Ellard-James “Moose” Boles has 

played the blues for almost 50 years. 

He has performed with legends like 

Gregg Allman, Lou Reed, David 

Bowie, Mitch Ryder, John Belushi, 

James Cotton, Koko Taylor, Lonnie 

Brooks, Stevie Ray Vaughan, to 

name a few. 

Saturday 0310 7pm 

Larry Baeder Played guitar with 

jazz legends Jay McShann, Illinois 

Jacquet, Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson 

and singer Diane “Mama” Rae. After 

brief stints in Los Angeles and San 

Francisco, he moved to Boston and 

spent five years touring and recording 

with Capricorn recording artist 

James Montgomery. During that time, 

Larry played with legendary blues 

artists Muddy Waters, James Cotton, 

Junior Wells, Bonnie Raitt, John Lee 

Hooker, BuddyGuy, Matt “Guitar” 

Murphy, Albert King, Dan “Elwood 

Blues” Akroyd, while also producing 

tracks for Boston artists. 

Every Tuesday 7pm 

Open mic jam night 


www.konklife.com 19



Hog’s Breath 

400 Front. St., (305) 296-4222 

n 

Thursday-Sunday 

The Coal Men 10pm–2am 

Three-piece Nashville smart-rock 

trio. “Nowhere’s Too Far” CD. 

Transients 5:30–9:30pm 

Organic mix of duo Matt Nanke 

on acoustic guitar/vocals and 

Evan Ryan on electronic/loops 

and percussion. Up-tempo 

acoustic/synth dance beat duo. 

Sunday-Wednesday 

Dennis McCaughey 

5:30–9:30pm 

JoBu 10pm-2am 

The Rum Barrel 

Quarterdeck, 528 Front St., 

(305) 509-7136 

n 

Tuesday 0312 

John LaMere 6pm 

Wednesday 0313, 0319 

Chris Thomas 6pm 

Thursday 0314, 0321 

Open Mic Jam with Larry 

Baeder & Dora 6pm 

Friday 0315 Kevin Poole 7pm 

Saturday-Sunday 0316-17 

Chillakaya 7pm and 6pm 

Monday 0318 

Kevin Poole 6pm 

Wednesday 0320 

Rock Solomon 6pm 

Saturday 0323 

John Brandoli 7pm 

The Rum Barrel 

Chillakaya 


Island Dogs 

505 Front St., (305) 509-7136 

n 

Wednesday 0313 

Larry Baeder 8pm 

Friday 0315 The Lo-Fi’s 8pm 

Three-piece rock band members 

Tony Durante/vocals and guitar, 

Anthony Picone/vocals/guitar/ 

bass, Oskar Deko/drums/percussion. 

Songs from artists Bob Marley, 

Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, 

The Beatles, Foo Fighters, The 

Cure, Red Hot Chili Peppers;’70s 

funk, ‘80s pop, ‘90s rock. 

Saturday 0316, 0323 


Saturday 0323 

Tony Durante 8pm 

Charlie Mac’s 

404 Southard St., (305) 320- 

0204 

n 

Thursday 0314 


Friday 0315 

Nick Norman 7pm 

Shares stage with musicians 

Joey Marchiano/Philly and Key 

West’s Caffeine Carl Wagoner. 

Saturday 0316 

Festa & Josh 7pm 

Sunday 0317 Mark Z. 7pm 

Thursday 0321 

Chris Thomas 7pm 

Friday 0322 

Larry Baeder & Bill Blue 7pm 

Saturday 0323 

Fiesta & Josh 7pm 

Thursday 0324 

Jonathan Williams 7pm

OPEN air 

ART&music 

Arts, crafts, music 

and a day strolling 

the Historic Seaport 

main attractions at 

the 13th Schooner 

Wharf Open Air Art 

& Music Affair. The 

annual event was 

centered around 

Schooner Wharf 

Bar, 202 William St., 

and the adjacent 

harborwalk along 

the waterfront. 

up 

front 

M O N R O E C O U N T Y E D U C A T I O N 

Continued from page 4 | “Andy Griffiths (board member) considers 

the concept of receiving complaints evil. At least no one will be 

able to claim they were unaware of an infraction or an issue. at’s 

called accountability,” Gardi said. He took issue with board member 

Robin Smith-Martin’s suggestion that a complaint hotline cannot 

exist because local media is irresponsible. 

e public and MCSD staff can submit complaints or suggestions 

and may do so anonymously. e form suggests, but does not 

require, providing a way to contact individuals in the event followup 

questions are needed. 

“Create an alternate email address if possible,” Gardi suggests, 

who claims when more action is required, he may utilize Naked 

Conch’s website to draw attention to key issues and concerns. He 

also suggests some modifications may occur once people start to 

use the form. “It’s a work in progress,” he said, “but progress we 

must.” 

e form utilizes a system based on a Google Apps platform. 

“Once set up, the process can be fairly automated, as it should 

have been previously. It’s free, easy to use, low maintenance and reliable. 

e only thing difficult to understand in the whole process 

is why overpaid School District IT personnel can’t discover these 

simple solutions themselves.” 

e 

INFO Matt Gardi, (305) 897-6412, matt@mattgardi.com 

n I N R E V I E W W I T H 

Ian Brockway 

Amour 

Michael Haneke is a genuine 

auteur. Perhaps one of the 

last. He might just be the closest thing we 

have to the existentialist Albert Camus or the 

understated crime writer Patricia Highsmith 

in the cinema. No matter what his alienating 

subject matter is, he rarely diverts his camera 

along a primrose path. Like his contemporary 

Lars von Trier, he doesn’t bother to make his 

audiences watch comfortably. 

He is known for introducing us to savage 

voyeurs, spacey Kubrick-cubed kindergarteners 

and sociopathic teens. 

Haneke’s Oscar-winning “Amour” is somewhat 

of a departure. e threat comes not 

from the white gloved and tennis shirted bestial 

youths in “Funny Games” but rather life, 

the randomness of chance or perhaps the 

mere apartment of a retired couple. 

Georges and Anne (played by Jean-Louis 

Trintignant and Emmanuelle Riva) are two 

aging former teachers and also husband and 

wife who love and respect each other. Georges 

is worried about burglaries and a lock on the 

door (even though there is no harbinger of 

danger — no sight of the creepy Peter or Paul 

here). Georges makes a phone call and eats a 

meal. Abruptly without an inkling of doom, 

Anne becomes catatonic and unresponsive. 

After what seems five full minutes, Anne 

snaps into life as quickly as she left it, with no 

memory of Georges’ alarm. 

Anne gets admitted to the hospital with 

surgery on the carotid artery. 

She has a stroke. Anne returns home in a 

wheelchair, and Georges takes on the task of 

caring for his wife. 

e first sight of Anne as a gray but 

fiery leaf enclosed in chrome is jarring and 

confrontational as are the very walls and 

corners of the apartment which stand out 

as spiny exclamation points which may or 

may not lead to Anne’s or Georges’ final 

moments. 

Anne does her best to combat the effect 

of her stroke which paralyzes the right side 

of her normally buoyant body, but her 

condition becomes progressively worse. Anne 

gets a motorized chair and cries with a primal 


tropic 

sprocketS 

glee, but she then gets a second stroke which 

confines her to bed. 

All the while Georges soldiers on stoic and 

resolute, refusing to return calls. Relatives and 

friends pop by to snoop in a Kafkaesque manner. 

While Eva (Isabelle Huppert) carries on 

about money as her invalid mother heaves laboriously 

is absurdist and bleak, the student 

Geoff (William Shimell) with his bland 

obsequiousness will definitely remind you 

of the pokey assistants in e Castle. 

To intensify things (if by chance you crave 

more) there is a bedroom scene that is almost 

as anxious as William Friedkin with a gob of 

water dramatically spat in Georges’ face. 

e icing on the sickle, however, is the 

emergence of Georges’ nightmare which is as 

scary as a Ringu-cycle horror film. 

“Amour” echoes Kafka’s e Metamorphosis 

in its juxtaposition of haunt and hurt. 

Impressionist landscape paintings shown 

between Anne’s exchanges of breath are 

comparable to Gregor’s insectile yearning 

for the lascivious muffed portrait on his 

bedroom wall. 

Both are beyond reach. 

Georges impulsively seals up the room 

with brown packing tape, and the effect is 

very like that of sealing up a caterpillar within 

a cocoon. 

By the time Eva re-enters with businesslike 

heels clicking on the silent floor, the 

apartment might just have well been visited 

by the smirking white shades of Peter or Paul 

only seconds before. 

Hyde Park on Hudson 

Ever since “e King's Speech” 

and even before, royal or political 

stories based on semi-true events circa 1930 

have been all the rage. “Hyde Park on Hudson” 

is the latest of these. From the outset, I 

wish I had liked the film more. It has all the 

right elements: the accomplished Laura Linney 

as Margaret Suckley, FDR’s sixth cousin 

and the all but fictional Mistress and a tempting 

breezy story with top-notch production 

design. e cars, suits, hats and cream-colored 

dresses shine in chrome perfection, second 

only to Jack Clayton’s “e Great Gatsby.” 


KONKLifes BIG SAVINGS are here! 

Get YOUR 

SAVINGS 

here! 

521 Fleming St. 

15% off 

Key West Happenings 

Florida Keys Council of the Arts 

Cultural Calendar: Send in events 

by ursday noon to the Florida Keys 

Council of the Arts, email 

calendar@keysarts.com 

ART RECEPTIONS | EXHIBITIONS 

Thursday, March 7 

Judith Zabar "Vestiges" Opening & Reception, 5:30 PM 

Cocco and Salem Gallery, 1111 Duval St. 292-0072. 

coccoandsalem.com. 

Historic Seaport District Art Walk, 6 PM 

Exhibitions & receptions at galleries & shops along Fleming, Caroline 

& Greene Streets. Local artists displaying their work & local merchants 

will be staying open late in participation. Including: Dawn Wilkins & 

Karen Palmer Opening & Reception, Art @830 Gallery & Studio, Caroline 

St. 

"Muse" Opening & Reception, 6:30 PM 

Lucky Street Gallery, 540 Greene St. 294-3973. luckystreetgallery.com. 

Roberta Marks, Helen Colley & Carol Munder. 

Friday, March 8 

Bernard Oulie Opening & Reception, 5 PM 

Joy Gallery, 330 Simonton St. joygalleryonline.com. 

Amanda Johnson Painting-in-Residence, 6 PM 

Two Monkeys Fine Art, 518 Fleming St. 414-8396. David@TwoMonkeysFineArt.com. 

FESTIVALS | FUNDRAISER 

Saturday, March 9 

Plein Air Key West - 5th Annual, 9 AM Register 

Key West Art Center, 301 Front St. 294-1241. keywestartcenter.com. 

Artists register to paint at their outdoor location of choice then return 

finished works to the Art Center for display followed by a Happy Hour 

Show & Sale. 

LECTURES 

Thursday & Saturday, March 7 & 9 

Mel Fisher Museum Celebrates Florida 500, 7:30 PM 

Mel Fisher Museum, 200 Greene St. Corey Malcom, call to register 

294-2633. melfishermuseum.org. 

Free parking at the Westin. 

LITERARY 


Cafe con Libros, 9:30 AM 

Key West Library, Conference Room, 700 Fleming St. Kris, 292-3595 

or neihouse-kris@monroecounty-fl.gov. 

Saturday, March 9 

Key West Writers Guild Meeting, 9 AM 

Key West by the Sea, 2601 S. Roosevelt Blvd. keywestwritersguild.net 

Monday, March 11 

Friends of the Library Lecture Series - Lou Harris, 6 PM 

TSKW, Main Hall, 600 White St. 294-8488. friendsofthekeywestlibrary.org. 

FILM 


Tropic Cinema - Monday Series: "Les Quatre Cents Coups (The 400 

Blows)", 7 PM 

Tropic Cinema, 416 Eaton St. 877-761-3456. tropiccinmea.com. 

Wednesday, March 13 

Ibis Bay "Dive-In" Movie, 7:30 PM 

Ibis Bay Beach Resort, 3101 N. Roosevelt Blvd. Michael Shields, 394- 

3804. tinyurl.com/c9db5ho. 


22 www.konklife.com

n L E G A L I T I E S W I T H 

Louis Petrone 

The Pope recently announced his resignation. 

It took effect February 28, 2013. 

Benedict XVI is no longer Pope. e Catholic 

Church will be without a Papal leader for a few weeks 

until the body of Cardinals elect a new Pope. 

ere is a push within the Catholic Church 

hierarchy for the Cardinals to meet sooner than 

proscribed in Canon law to elect a new Pope. 

e abruptness of the Pope’s announcement of 

retirement and the rush to elect a new Pope concern 

me. Why three weeks notice of Benedict’s retirement? 

Why the move to amend Canon law to permit the 

election of an immediate replacement? Moreover, 

why Benedict’s resignation in the first place? 

Popes do not retire. ey reign till they die. ey 

can be ill in bed and find it difficult to carry out their 

Papal duties. ey nevertheless remain Pope. 

e last time a Pope resigned was in the 1200s. 

However, at that time, the Church had schism 

problems and was divided. Each group elected its 

own Pope. Two reigned at one time. Once the 

problems between the two factions were settled, one 

of the Popes had to resign. at is the background 

of the only Papal resignation prior to this time. 

Something is amiss. ere are things we do not 

know. Matters the 

Church is not 

sharing with us. 

Lest anyone think I 

am picking on the 

Catholic Church, be 

aware of my Catholic 

background. I was an 

alter boy and choir boy. 

I attended Catholic 

grammar school, high 

school and college. I am 

a fallen away Catholic. My mental change began 

while I was a student in college. It does not mean I 

do not believe in God. It means I did not agree with 

certain decisions of the Church early on and have 

continued to disagree with others over the course of 

my life. 

Today the Vatican is a place of intrigue, mismanagement 

and scandal. Internal political wars are ongoing. 

Is it one problem that has wrought the Pope’s 

resignation? Or the culmination of problems which 

suddenly have swirled out of control? Or is it nothing? 

Has the Pope determined he is old and a 

younger, healthier mind is better to direct the 

Church? 

I believe it is a culmination of problems with 

KEY WEST 

LOU 

THE RESIGNATION OF POPE BENEDICT XVI 

LOU 

P E T R O N E 

TALK SHOW HOST 

something new on the horizon which as yet is secret 

to those outside Church hierarchy. 

e priest pedophile scandal is worldwide. It has 

been for 30 some odd years. e Church buried the 

problem. Now it is seeing the light of day. Priests are 

being arrested, tried and sent to jail. Diocesan hierarchy 

are being charged and tried for participating in 

coverups. It has been claimed that the Church has 

been less than appropriate when discussing matters 

involving Jews and Muslims. To the point that both 

groups have been angered. 

Last year the Pope’s personal butler was arrested 

for stealing private Papal documents. He was tried 

and jailed. ereafter the Pope visited him, forgave 

him and assisted in his release. Why was the butler 

arrested in the first place? Why did the Papacy subject 

itself to scrutiny regarding the issue? Why didn’t the 

church merely fire its employee and send him on his 

way? God’s admonition is forgive and forget, turn the 

other cheek. 

e Church has lost many members over the 

years. Fallen away Catholics. As am I. Church attendance 

in the United States is down by two-thirds in 

the last 20 years. Italy is another example. Church 

attendance is down 90 percent in 10 years. Both figures 

are attributed to the pedophile issue. e Church 

has made no effort to recapture its former members. 

e Vatican bank has problems. It has been under 

a three-year investigation for money laundering. Last 

year Italian authorities confiscated a Vatican account 

containing $20 million. 

Claims are constant that the Vatican has become a 

ship with out a rudder. Mismanagement prevails. 

e Church historically found new members in 

developing countries. It bolstered the Church to have 

amongst its flock these converts. e Church was 

alone in seeking to convert these persons. No more. 

Evangelical pentecostal groups are competing in 

places where heretofore the Church was the only one. 

e number of people not believing in God has 

increased dramatically the past 20 years. e Church 

has made no effort to recapture these persons to God. 

ere is the issue of gay priests. Homosexuality 

apparently is significant in priestly ranks. Last week 

there were announcements to the effect that Vatican 

gay priests were being subjected to blackmail by persons 

outside the Vatican. 

An oracle of wisdom I am not. I do not know 

what specifically motivated the Pope’s retirement and 

the rush to elect a new Pope. I do have a sense of 

when something is wrong. Whatever the problem(s), 

I hope they are revealed and corrected post haste. 

Get them out and deal with them. God’s people of all 

people must be transparent. 

e 


Florida Keys Council of the Arts Cultural Calendar: 

Send in events by ursday noon to the Florida Keys 

Council of the Arts, email calendar@keysarts.com 


MUSIC 

Nightly Entertainment - Tavern N' Town, 5 PM 

Marriot Beachside, 3841 N. Roosevelt Blvd. 

Thursday thru Saturday, March 7-9 

In the Cabaret, 5 PM 

The Gardens Hotel, 526 Angela St. 294-2661. 

gardenshotel.com. 

Thursday: John Benson, Friday: Michael Robinson, 

Saturday: Jimmy Olson. 

Friday, March 8 

Legends in Concert - The Coasters, The Drifters, 

Platters & Temptations Tribute, 8 PM 

Tennessee Williams Theatre, 5901 College Rd. 

295-7676. keystix.com. 

Friday & Saturday, March 8 & 9 

Livingston Taylor, 8 PM 

TSKW, 600 White St. 295-7676. keystix.com. 

Sunday, March 10 

Libby York & Bobby Nesbitt, 12 PM 

Cafe Sole, 1029 Southard St. 294-0230. libbyyork.com. 

Jazz in the Gardens - Scott Marishien, 5 PM 

The Gardens Hotel, 526 Angela St. 294-2661. 

gardenshotel.com. 

Paradise Big Band, 8 PM 

Tennessee Williams Theatre, 5901 College Rd. 

295-7676. keystix.com. 

Monday & Tuesday, March 11 & 12 

Living Room Series “ Libby York with Jeremy 

Kahn",8 PM 

Truman Little White House, 111 Front St. 294- 

9911. keystix.com. 

THEATER 


The Drowsy Chaperone - Opening Night, 8 PM 

Tuesdays thru Saturdays thru March 30. 

Waterfront Playhouse, 310 Wall St. 294-5015. 

waterfrontplayhouse.org. 

Fridays thru Sundays, March 8-10 

Seminar by KW Fringe, 8 PM 

Kelly's Caribbean, Upstairs, 301 Whitehead. 

786-529-2281. keystix.com. 

Sunday & Monday, March 10 & 11 

Love, Loss & What I Wore, 8 PM 

Red Barn Theatre, 319 Duval St. 296-9911. redbarntheatre.com 


Waterfront Playhouse Presents: Behind the 

Scenes, 6 PM 

Waterfront Playhouse, 310 Wall St. 294-5015. 

waterfrontplayhouse.org. 

Tuesdays thru Saturdays, March 7,8,9,12 & 13 

Time Stands Still Opening Night, 8 PM 

Red Barn Theatre, 319 Duval St. 296-9911. redbarntheatre.com. 

e

miss closet ball 

LARRY BLACKBURN | photographer 

24 www.konklife.com

tropic 

sprocketS 


n I N R E V I E W W I T H 

Ian Brockway 

ere is also the added expectation 

of the inimitable and quirky Bill 

Murray as FDR, who usually gives 

unusual verve and spirit to his 

repertoire of curmudgeons. If only a 

stellar cast could make some historical 

hijinx. 

I can forgive that a fair bit of 

drama is enhanced here, that Suckley 

is only known to be a romantic 

platonic but intimate confidante to 

FDR. According to my research, she 

never did anything improper or sexual, 

but shared “secrets” with the 

president nonetheless. 

e main problem is there is not 

much here, and it lags by midway. 

I yearned to hang a metaphysical 

FDR hat on Bill Murray who I 

greatly admire, but he is reticent, 

flushed and wobble headed for too 

much of the outing. Aside from 

some realistic and astonishing grabbing 

at desks and tables (his polio 

was not much talked about even in 

my school) to steady his braced legs, 

there is little sense of Roosevelt 

here. I could not escape from a 

smoking and drinking Murray in an 

FDR suit. 

Much of the circus-business centers 

on King George VI, the stutterblighted 

Bertie from “e King’s 

Speech,” played here by Samuel 

West and his visit to Roosevelt at 

Hudson, New York. e King and 

Queen Elizabeth (Olivia Colman) 

spend a good parcel of time being 

frustrated and worked up about a 

hot dog picnic, and although the 

humor escapes me, there were quite 

a few laughs behind me. 

e goings-on are played for 

light laughs with obligatory scenes 

of the staff peeking behind closed 

doors. 

King George’s stutter is so well 

established from past cinematic out- 

ings, but we get little else here. He 

is henpecked by Elizabeth. Shouldn’t 

there be just a bit more? 

Laura Linney for her part seems 

either sleepy or overcome with tears 

ala melodrama. In one scene during 

a dark and moony night when spying 

Eleanor (Olivia Williams) runs 

and screams and, yes, stumbles and 

falls. Granted this is faux history, 

but it might as well be “Twilight.” 

e most intriguing scene occurs 

during a drive through a field of 

lavender flowers. Although we do 

not see the explicit act, it is pretty 

well described that Roosevelt is 

flushed and near climax with Margaret 

in the car. But the incident is 

never mentioned again with attention 

shifting to King George, hot 

dogs and stuttering with it all running 

tepid. 

ere is such a buildup over the 

picnic itself that by the time it occurs, 

it is all circumstance. e 

crowds arrive, flashbulbs pop, and 

hotdogs are eaten with patronizing 

talk of Native American dance and 

none of it is compelling. e coming 

and going proves too digestible. 

ink of it as a hybrid of “e 

King’s Speech” and “Downton 

Abbey” put through a vermouth 

filter. And, granted, it is perfectly 

feasible to enjoy the passing of 90 

minutes in this association under 

the breeze of Bill Murray, some hot 

dog banter and booze. 

e missed opportunity of 

“Hyde Park on Hudson” is that 

we have only a mere coat hanger 

of Roosevelt, a not too sneaky 

Margaret Suckley, and a sketch 

of a friendship between a silly 

King George VI and an American 

president. 

e 

Write Ian at redtv_2005@yahoo.com 

www.TropicCinema.com 

Tropic Cinema, the only nonprofit art 

multiplex in South Florida. Rated 

“Best Cinema in Florida 2009-2012” 


DEAR 

VENUS JONES 

M A Y T H E S T A R S B E W I T H Y O U 

RELATIONSHIPS TRIGGER LESSONS 

Dear Venus Jones: Fifteen years 

ago I was so in love that I thought I 

would burst with the joy and in fact did 

in a way. A child was created between us, 

and she is everything anyone could ever 

expect and so much more. 

e relationship between her father 

and I ended badly early on, so badly in 

fact, that we have literally had the real life 

“War of the Roses” ever since — not over 

property, but over her. We have been to 

court so many times I have lost count, 

and I have raised my daughter almost 

entirely on my own financially. I’ll tell 

you how hard it was in one little story: 

One day when my daughter was about 

five years old, I was straightening her 

room and, as all little girls, she had 

anyone’s guess at the number of bags and 

pocketbooks. One of these dumped its 

contents when I picked it up upside 

down. You can imagine my surprise when 

I saw it had contained a twenty dollar 

bill. On impulse I checked the other 

bags. Amazingly, eacg contained a twenty 

dollar bill. I was shocked. Where did the 

money come from? 

When I asked my daughter about it, 

she said, “Well, Mom, you 

know how Daddy is always 

telling us that he’s broke and 

can’t pay the child support? 

Well, one day I was at his 

house, and he was in the 

shower and his wallet was 

laying there and it was full 

of money, and I knew we 

were broke . . . .” 

To make a long story 

short, my daughter has 

grown into a tough, 

talented leader and honor 

roll student, debate team, 

cheerleader, with the golden 

looks of a Barbie doll and all 

the charm, charisma and intelligence 

to go with it — a very dangerous 

dynamic combination. She “will” have 

her way one “way” or another. 

I have remained a single Mom with 

only one real goal, and that is that my 

daughter have and be the best. I have 

been challenged the entire way. Her 

father has done everything to discredit 

DEAR VENUS 

COLUMNIST 

SYLVIA BOGART 

Sylviabogart@yahoo.com 

Email questions or 

call for appointment, 

(305) 731-6280. 

me. He has even taken my own father to 

court and accused him of things I don’t 

even care to mention, broken into my 

house, harrased me on a continual basis 

by phone, even built his house one-half 

block from mine on the same street, 

parading his new family back and forth 

under the pretense of wanting to be close 

to his daughter so she could experience a 

“real” family lifestyle. 

Finally, it seemingly worked. My 

daughter and I got into an actual fight. 

She physically attacked me and hurt me 

so bad I had to go to the hospital. While 

I was there, she got her father to help her 

move almost all of her things to his 

house. He now has custody of her. 

I did not fight him on this. She is 

grown. She and I have since mended our 

fences and are best friends again. We talk 

on the phone daily just like old times. 

He, however, is livid and has gotten 

a restraining order on me and is now 

taking me to court again demanding I 

get a psychiatric evaluation and go for 

counseling sessions. 

I am complying as I see no reason not 

to, although I could kick myself for all 

of those times I didn’t make a 

call on him so I at least had a 

paper trail of legal documentation 

— proof of how he has 

behaved toward me all of these 

years. 

Now I feel as if all the cards 

are stacked against me, and I 

don’t know why he is still 

coming after me. I have done 

everything asked of me. I am 

even paying child support. 

What is it he wants from 

me, and why is he still angry? 

When will this nightmare end? 

Dear Proud Mother: You 

are not alone. Relationships are not 

rational. ey are hormonal. ey do not 

spring from the head but from the heart 

and, of course, other more magnetic 

sources. ey are, however, what the 

whole world, for the most part, revolves 

around. 


e traveler 

All his life Tommy had diligently followed the 

rules. Until he turned 30 when he was thunderstruck 

with wanderlust. Sitting at the kitchen table in the only 

house he had ever known, sharing cake and coffee with his 

mother, nervously scraping up invisible crumbs from around 

his plate, “I need more!” he declared. His mother picked up 

the knife and made to cut him another slice of cake. “I need a 

life!” he almost shouted, yanking the knife from her hand. He 

told her of his plans and she broke down and wept. Tommy 

promised to write, but he was resolved. Before he left, he sold 

everything, including his truck. 

He kept only a guitar and whatever else he could stuff into 

a backpack. 

Everyone said he had been a cute baby. People fawned over 

him, occasionally mistaking him for a girl, he had always been 

slight and what with his shiny pelt of blonde hair and his tiny 

upturned nose. But he wanted more from life. 

He had been’walking’ for the past few 

months, which in truth involved many a 

hitched ride. Most often from women. On 

Christmas Day, somewhere in Texas, a lady in 

a silver pickup truck stopped beside him on 

the interstate and kicked open the passenger 

door, “For heaven’s sake!” she yelled at him, 

“C’mon! Get in! I’m feeding your skinny ass 

tonight!” 

anks in part to his still appealing features 

Tommy was offered space on sofas and 

guest rooms, but he declined, saying sweetly, 

“If I may, I’d rather sleep on your back porch. I have a sleeping 

bag.” But he’ll make use of the bathroom, and the kitchen, 

and even another ride to the next oasis. Always maintaining 

the illusion of roughing it and flexing his imagination Tommy 

convinced himself he was experiencing freedom. 

Sensibly, given the weather, he was headed south. He’d 

never heard of Key West only a few months before, but now 

he was walking the last stretch of the road, to the southernmost 

point in the Continental United States. He walked into 

paradise and fairly effortlessly found a shelter for the night, illegally 

nuzzling under the sheltering eaves of an abandoned 

house near the center of town. Tommy slept under that house 

for several nights, without incident. It was okay at night, but 

in the daytime he said, “I do have to come out, with this huge 

backpack.” 

Tommy relied on an engaging smile and he easily picked 

up handyman jobs to keep up a flow of lucre in his pockets. 

Nightly, he had taken to sitting at the bar of the Green Parrot, 

with his array of drinks, a beer, a shot, his bag of loose tobacco, 

he rolled his cigarettes. All his toys giving him the appearance 

of self-containment, but in reality, they were mere 

props. 

When she entered and ordered a bottle of water he noticed 

her. After traveling for several months Tommy’s instincts were 

sharpening. “Hello,” he said, smiling. 

Walking away she noticed twenty bucks had vanished. 

e 

CHRISTINA 

O X E N B E R G 

LEIGH VOGEL photo 

A LOCAL 

OBSERVATION 

www.wooldomination.com | Facebook/christinaoxenberg 


Sister Season is in fashion, 

launches a fashion show 

Spring is in the air, and fashion is 

on the agenda for Sister Season 

Fund, launching its Southernmost Spring 

Fashion Show Sunday, March 10, at the historic 

Southernmost House. Doors open 6 

p.m.; show begins promptly at 7 p.m. 

Sister Season has, under the leadership of 

event coordinator Julie Hanson, recruited a 

bevy of locals to model fashions ranging from 

the casual to the formal. 

“ere will even be a bride and groom,” 

Hanson said. 

Models include Jennifer Lloyd, Lynn Dalton, 

Cheryl Cates, Frank Cicalese, Stephen 

Post, Tiffany Cadzow, Kerry Ellis, Kyle Hogue, 

Alicia Arrazola, , Mark Patterson, Jocelyn 

Ashe, Shawn Hernandez, 

Tony Gill, Stacy omason, 

even some family ensembles: 

Wendy, Madi and Makenzie 

Zintmaster, Suzanne, Randy 

and Jackson Moore, and Oksana 

and Sophia Lyashenko. 

Model Jennifer Lloyd is 

doing double duty as chair of 

the decorations committee; 

Lynn Dalton is obtaining 

treats from local restaurants 

with assistance from Julie 

Hartnett. Greg Tredow is providing 

music, and publicity 

and media is in the hands of 

Ginger King, Brad Buckholts 

and Connie Gilbert. Program 

design is by Susan Jolly. 

Early sponsors include La- 

Trottoria, A Catered Affair, Two Friends Patio 

Restaurant, Centennial Bank, Ginger King, 

Realtor, Square One. 

“We are always trying new ideas for Sister 

Season Fund to raise money and awareness for 

the organization,” Hanson said. “is is our 

newest event, and we hope to continue it every 

__ 

Proceeds go to Sister Season Fund, Inc., a 

501(c)(3) nonprofit charity to help those who 

work in the tourist/hospitality industry with rent 

and utilities when out of work due to illness or 

injury through no fault of their own. 


OUT 

back 

year. It’s an event for everyone — fun and 

enjoyable. Come early and enjoy the 

hors d’oeurves and ocean view.” 

Food tables, spring motif silent auction and 

20 models sport Key West’s finest fashions. 

INFO 

www.KeysTix.com for tickets: 

Table of 8, $160; indivial table seating, $25 

KWFBG • March 12 

Not just for breakfast anymore! 

How do archaeologists figure out what 

prehistoric humans ate and how their food 

became plant medicine? Key West Tropical 

Forest and Botanical Garden celebrates Archeology 

Month with a fascinating presentation 7 

p.m. Tuesday, March 12, by guest speaker Dr. 

Michelle Williams, director of the Southeast 

Region of the Florida Public Archaeology Network 

at Florida Atlantic University. She is an 

archaeologist who specializes 

in the use of plants by prehistoric 

Native Americans. Native 

Keys flora will be among 

the species discussed. 

e event is in the Forest’s 

Nature Chapel on College 

Road. Free to KWBGS members; 

$5for non-members. 

Students also free. 

KWFBG • March 16 

‘Migration Mania’ 

Migration Mania is back 

with 7,000 eggs hidden 

throughout the garden for e 

Great Egg Hunt. Designed for 

families with children of all 

ages, the event features four 

egg hunts, live birds and other 

hands-on activities for all-day fun! Organizations 

the Keys join the event to contribute interactive 

displays related to birds and our 

ecosystem. Learn about local environment 

through crafts, activities and games and family-oriented 

activity benefiting Key West community. 

Gates open 9:30 a.m. Egg hunts 

throughout the event, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. with 

hunts for ages 4 and under and 5 and up. 

12:15 p.m. Key West Wildlife Bird Center 

hosts a meet-and-greet for the whole family. 

Crafts, activities and bounce house. e 

INFO 

www.kwbgs.or, (305) 849-8733

Dear 

VENUS 

STEVE CALDERWOOD 


Children are the creation of 

this and a combination of that 

passion, intensity. In actuality, 

they are the focal point, the composite 

in form and substance of 

both hopes, dreams, faith, love 

and joy. In most cases the child is 

a continual trigger. 

Children have to be allowed to 

become individuals. ey are not 

either of you in reality. ey do 

not want what you want. In a single-parent 

home, it can get sticky 

when that parent has their hopes 

and dreams pinned on the child. 

Your ex’s behavior is the real 

problem. You have almost completely 

overlooked the issue at 

hand, what has triggered every 

one of your problems, court battles, 

misnomers — that you both 

love your daughter. 

Even though you say you are 

complying with everything, I am 

looking at your chart and hearing 

what you are not saying or seeing. 

What you are refusing to see or to 

accept is that you need to let go of 

the past. ere is no future in it 

except more pain. Yes, your 

daughter IS grown. What about 

you? Isn’t it time you got your 

own life? 

Nothing has the ability to have 

any affect on you unless you allow 

it to. You think your ex is trying 

to destroy you. Turn it around 

and look at your own reactions to 

him.ere has been a standing invitation 

for him to do whatever he 

wanted in your not closing the 

door on the past, validated he was 

wrong and you the victim. 

All victims and preditors are 

self made. It takes a working relationship 

for either to survive and 

thrive. Make a different choice 

and everything changes. 

Take charge of your own life. 

Allow joy and light to come in 

and become the woman you want 

your daughter to strive to be. is 

time do it for yourself. When we 

refuse to get a certain lesson, we 

will be given it over and over 

again until we do. e 


BITCHIN’ 

PARADISE 

THINGS THAT 

MAKE YOU GO 

HMMMMMM . . . 

Why . . . 

do some 

people think it’s perfectly legal 

and acceptable to operate a scooter 

on a sidewalk in Key West? 

. . . is it always the driver of an 

electric car, scooter, etc., that 

operates the camera while driving 

through town? 

. . . do customers ask their 

bartenders and servers if they 

live here? 

. . . do you assume that if I am 

honking at you then I am an asshole 

tourist, and you are compelled to 

yell “slow down, we’re on island 

time?” Perhaps I am just alerting 

you that your ginormous SUV is 

about to back over my tiny little 

SmartCar that you didn’t even see in 

your rear-view mirror. Jerk. 

. . . can’t people who don’t live here 

not shut the fuck up about why 

they deserve a local’s discount? Still. 

Get over it, ya crybaby. 

. . . do people come in to a wine bar 

and ask for the house wine? 

. . . have we not banded together 

to form a bike-theft vigilante gang? 

It’s getting ridiculous. 

. . . does every Conch Train stick its 

nose out into the intersection on a 

yellow light, resulting in opposing 

traffic missing half their green light 

time? 

. . . do you think you can poison 

chickens and get away with it? 

Yep, I’ve still got my eyes on you. 

at’s all. 

e 

Kimberley 

Denney 

@bitchinparadise

March 7, 2013 Issue of KONK Life - KONK Network

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