June 14 - KONK Network

K E Y R E A L E S T A T E I N T H E F L O R I D A K E Y S

KONK 

Life 

Vol.2 No.24 

C 

O NTENTS PRIDE 

ON THE SCENE 

ISLAND 

VOICE 

Got something to CROW about? KONK Life’s Community 

Forum, Island Voice, publishes brief messages in the next 

edition. Deadline: 5pm Friday. 

Call (305) 453-6804 

l You’ve got to be kidding me. e developer group 

White Street Partners and Balfour Beatty think they 

can come in an dictate to our city “negotiable” terms 

for affordable housing! We should tell the group of 

WEEK | LARRY BLACKBURN 

one percenters to go take a hike. I’ve worked here in 

Key West for 12 years and many times have to work 

two jobs to pay for my one-bedroom housing. Every 

day the city loses more and more affordable units that 

it may be getting close, for me at least, to say adios to 

paradise. Hell, many of my friends now live in Big 

Coppitt and Bay Point. Is Sugar Loaf really that much 

farther? I think not. I even hear there are buses carrying 

migrant workers out of Homestead now. 

Back to my point, and if I ramble so be it. If you’re 

still reading my opinion, than it just may have a little 

merit after all. 

City officials, tell them to pay less for the property 

and do the right thing for a change. Make Key West 

www.konklife.com 3 

KEY NEWS 

5 

FUN TIMES 

14 

THE ARTS 

18 

livable for the workforce that truly needs affordable 

housing. 

l I just love the pageantry of Pridefest. So many 

happy smiley people. 

l Did I just see the new Duck Tours boat outside 

HTC offices? After settling their suit with Duck 

Tours, I guess they can use the name. 

e

Vol. 2 No. 24 

j u n e 1 4 - 2 0 

Published Weekly 

KONK Life 

NEWS DIRECTOR Guy deBoer 

EDITOR|DESIGN Dawn deBoer 

MANAGING EDITOR Jenna Stauffer 

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Michael Shields 

PHOTOGRAPHERS 

Sheel Sheelman, Ralph dePalma 

Larry E. Blackburn 

CONTRIBUTORS 

Guy deBoer Key News 

Louis Petrone Key West Lou 

Steve Calderwood Wining the Keys 

Paul Menta What’s Cooking 

Matt Gardi The Naked Conch 

David Lybrand KONK Reactor 

Scott McCarthy The Gadabout 

Kimberley Denney Bitchin’ Paradise 

Christina Oxenberg Local Observation 

Courtney Aman Let’s Get Physical 

JT Thompson Hot Dish 

Michele Meck The Mecca Party 

ON-AIR PERSONALITIES 

BEV ALLEN, PETER ANDERSON, GUY deBOER, BO FODOR, 

STEPHANIE KAPLE, SHAUNA LEE LANGE, VICTORIA LEIGH, 

LOUIS PETRONE, M. L. PRICE, MICHAEL SHIELDS, JIM SMITH, 

SOPHIA SKOGLUND, ALICE TALLMADGE, RICHARD 

TALLMADEGE, MATT GARDI, RICK BOETTGER, 

JIM FERRIS, STEP WISCHERTH, MICHELE MECK 

ADVERTISING 305.296.1630 

Marc Hollander 

305.619.4414 

Advertising Deadline Every Friday 

PRINT-READY advertising materials due by 

Friday every week for next issue of KONK Life 

Ad Dimensions 

Horizontal and Vertical: 

Full, 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/8 page, bizcard 

Ad Submissions 

JPG, TIFF, PDF — digital formats only 

Send to production@konkbroadcasting.com 

KONK Life is published weekly by 

KONK Broadcasting Network in Key West, 

Florida. Editorial materials may not be reproduced 

without written permission from the network. 

KONK Broadcasting Network 

RADIO y TELEVISION y INTERNET 

402 Appelrouth Lane | Key West, FL 

33040 

(305) 768-0282 Fax| (305) 296-1630 Office 

www.konklife.com 

UPFRONT 

On June 4, 2012, Courtney Aman died unexpectedly. e cause of his death is still unknown. Courtney’s passing 

is a tragic loss to our community as Courtney was a gentle giant, peaceful and kind to everyone. I am blessed to 

have called him a friend. Courtney was also my trainer. Beyond physical lessons, the way he lived his life taught 

me much about love without expectations and radical acceptance. He was one of the most open and honest people 

I have ever met, and he was always evolving and growing. Recently he became interested in writing and shared 

his articles with me for review and comment. His inspiring story of recovery and redemption can be found at 

fallinginloveagainkeywest.com. On the day of his death, he sent me what would become his last fitness article. 

With very few edits, it is posthumously published below. Even after his untimely death, Courtney teaches us 

to let the body guide us towards our best potential. In my own yoga classes, I suggest students recognize the 

light (the knowledge) within and learn to take and trust their own internal counsel. e answers lie within 

and are written in the body. I dedicate this to Courtney and to those who loved him so dearly. 

lA.B. Maloy (fallinginloveagainkeywest@gmail.com) 

LET’S GET 

PHSYICAL 

Sometimes I catch flack from friends 

and associates about my “old school” 

approach towards weight training and fitness. ey 

think I am resistant to change. On the contrary, 

I have tried just about every form of training out 

there. But over the years I came to realize that many 

of the “new” routines are really just repackaged old 

routines that weren’t so great the first time around. 

For me, trying them out again would be regressing 

instead of improving on what I know works. at 

is what I am determined to do: improve on a strong 

fitness foundation, no matter how well things 

might seem to be working for me and my clients. 

One reason I am convinced that my “old school” 

approach is the most effective at building muscle 

and burning body fat is my own research into 

physical anthropology. Talk about going way back! 

ink about what our long-ago ancestors did. And 

I don’t mean grandma and grandpa. I am talking 

10,000 years ago. Back then, if we wanted food, we 

had to find it or kill it. at meant either foraging 

(walking, stooping, climbing) or explosive sudden 

movements (to spear an animal or run after one — 

or from one! — like a 

sprinter). To the best of my 

knowledge, people didn’t 

jog for the hell of it. ey 

either walked or ran as fast 

as they could and used their 

body to get their sustenance. 

ey had to be 

strong, agile and lean. 

Let’s fast forward to 

today. We wake in the 

morning, we do our morning 

thing at home, then SIT 

on our butts on the way to 

work. Most of us SIT at our desks, SIT for lunch, 

SIT down when we get home to relax from our 

“taxing” day. I can’t tell you when chairs were invented, 

but I do not recall hearing about any caveman 

chair relics. Almost all of our ancestors 

squatted fully and were balanced and relaxed while 

doing so. Since the advent of chairs and cars, our 

4 www.konklife.com 

hip flexors are practically useless and rendered 

immobile. 

e remedy? Another old school approach — 

yoga. Now we are talking old school fitness. 

Peruse some pictures when you have time of less 

industrialized countries, like in parts of Asia and 

Africa. You will see people in their 80s serenely 

balanced in full squat or on one foot. I know people 

in their 20s who get dizzy just thinking about it. 

Probably over half the people I know have chronic 

lower (lumbar) back pain from inactivity of their 

core (lower back, obliques and abdominals), and it 

is made worse by their workout routines. Go to any 

gym in town, and it is easy to see why. We have all 

seen the guy on an isolation machine with distorted 

body development, people who swing kettlebells 

and flip tires around in roughshod fashion, the 

whacky “new” pull-ups that are all the rage today, 

and the look on members’ faces as they do more 

harm than good to their bodies. 

ere are, at the core, probably 15 very basic 

exercises that emulate our unique physiology and 

give way to any number of modifications for each 

body type. ese exercises may involve weight work 

and often use the body itself for resistance (like 

pull-ups and push-ups, core integration, pilates and 

yoga). ey all incorporate balance and flexibility. 

e system for building 

muscle and burning fat is 

quite simple, but we all 

know that simple is not the 

same as easy. Results are 

commensurate with 

infrequent intensity (not 

volume) of work placed on 

your muscular system, how 

mobile your joints are, and 

how balanced and aligned 

your body is. 

So there you have it. e 

old school way is the simplest and hardest way to 

achieve results — maybe that is why so many people 

are resistant to it? Yes, I know people who over 

train and seem to get results, but they would get 

the same results with half the volume of work and a 

more conscious approach to their workouts. 

Have a great weekend, my friends. 

e

n 

I N T E R V I E W W I T H 

Larry Murray 

Monroe County School 

Guy deBoer | GD What is it that 

has inspired you to become an 

elected official representing Monroe 

County School District? 

Larry Murray | LM My inspiration 

is fairly simple. A little over 

two years ago, I was asked to serve 

on the Volunteer Citizen Audit and 

Finance Committee for the School 

Board in an effort to improve the 

district finances which are in pretty 

miserable shape. I worked very hard 

on that committee along with the 

other committee members. It is a 

very talented, hardworking group of 

individuals, but after two years we 

had virtually nothing to show for it 

because while the Audit and Finance 

Committee can speak out it 

ultimately has no authority. It can 

recommend to the Board and 

School District but it can’t make 

anyone do anything they don’t want 

to do. 

GD What are your qualifications to 

be selected to the Audit and Finance 

Committee? 

LM ere are a number of qualifications 

that I have. First of all, I have 

a doctorate in American history. I 

have taught at the collegiate level 

key 

NEWS 

MONROE COUNTY SCHOOL DISTRICT: 

ZERO-BASED FINANCIAL BUDGET 


for a number of years. I also have a 

background as a businessman. I run 

several companies and know what it 

means to meet a payroll. I believe I 

am both financially literate and literate 

in the areas of education. 

GD How do you feel you could help 

fellow board members get out of 

this financial mess if elected? 

LM: We are once again in the middle 

of another crisis management 

situation looking into the next fiscal 

year, and I fear that the same may 

be true for the following year as 

well. I think what we can do differently 

to avoid the annual crisis is 

pretty simple. e district needs to 

go back and install a zero-based 

budget. It has to drill down to the 

bottom of the organization and 

build up from there. What we are 

doing now is tinkering every year 

with what we have, and the foundation 

is not solid. My first recommendation 

to my associates on the 

Board should I be elected is to request 

district administration institute 

immediately a zero-based 

financial budget. at way next year 

if that process is implemented, we 

won’t be in the crisis mode we are in 

now. 

GD What area do you see could be 

the biggest savings so we won’t have 

negative deficits that need to be cut 

and chiseled away and would begin 

Continued on page 19 

GUY deBOER 

KONK 

BROADCASTING 

NEWS DIRECTOR

ON THe scene 

with LARRY BLACKBURN 

ZUMBA IN THE PARK 


THE NAKED 

CONCH 

SIGNS, SIGNS, EVERYWHERE 

Political signage onslaught 

begins . . . talk about ugly 

It’s here. Yes, that time of election 

season when candidates names 

seem to spring from every tree, 

fence and inch of green space available 

in the Keys. Again, I must pose 

the question, in this age of iGadgets, 

do we really need this seasonal 

foray into environmental wallpapering? 

Some of you might recall that as 

a candidate for State House District 

120 in 2010 I pledged not to use 

lawn signs during the campaign. In 

my mind, the need to do so is 

purely to capture those disinterested 

voters who cast their ballot solely on 

name recognition. As a candidate, I 

felt I had enough ideas and reasons 

running for office that it might 

carry me through to a victory. I was 

wrong. However, while being outspent 

20 to 1 by an opponent who 

had signs on every street corner, I 

still managed to win 48 percent of 

the votes in Monroe County. I 

think that illustrated ideas matter 

and there are other effective means 

to communicate with voters. 

Many supporters came to me afterwards 

and suggested if I had only 

had signs out, it may have made the 

difference in the election, and that 

very well may be true. Taking a look 

at the voting public in general, I 

might divide voters into two segments 

— the Lean IN voter and the 

Lean OUT voter. 

Lean IN voters are people who 

are going to take the time to research 

whom they are voting for. 

ey’ll look past the barrage of signs 

and repetitive ads and read about 

the issues and candidate platforms. 

ey will consider what they read in 

the press but go to candidate websites 

and meet-and-greets and speak 

with candidates. ey’ll take time to 

dig, make an informed decision and 

then cast their ballot. 

Lean OUT voters are the ones 

who will vote but analyze an election 

from what is thrown at them. 

Maybe they’ll see road signs, hear an 

ad on the radio, or hear a friend 

talking about the election. ey will 

take it all in, digest it and make 

their decision based on what has 

been pushed in front of them during 

the course of daily activities. 

e sad reality is many of us, due 

to the time constraints of our busy 

schedules, are forced into the role of 

a Lean OUT voter. However, I feel 

the tide is changing, especially with 

ease and convenience of social 

media. Research is easier, organizations 

such as Hometown PAC, and 

homeowners associations hold forums 

to assist the public with developing 

into more of a Lean IN voter. 

is is good. 

But by my estimation, I feel it is 

still a 50-50 split. ere is no denying 

many voters will check off a 

name simply because it has been 

seen on a hundred million billboards 

along the highway. However, 

during this election cycle, I would 

call on all candidates to use an approach 

I would describe as Selective 

and Effective! If you feel the need 

to, put out a few signs in strategic 

places but be selective in doing so. 

Reality is that this will always remain 

an ugly component to the 

campaign season. ere will be candidates 

who feel the need to utilize 

an approach of what I would describe 

as Obnoxious and Excessive! 

Everyone knows what I am referring 

to. It’s just plain ugly, and I feel indicative 

of a candidate short on 

ideas. A candidate worthy of your 

vote should be able to communicate 

his or her message in a variety of 


MATT 

G A R D I 

TALK SHOW HOST 

www.nakedconch.com

K E Y B U S I N E S S I N K E Y W E S T 

www.konklife.com 7

ON THe scene 

with LARRY BLACKBURN 

KEY WEST CELEBRATES PRIDE 


TAKING ON THE WORLD, DAY 11 

n L E G A L I T I E S W I T H 

Louis Petrone 

Iam on a travel odyssey. So far Italy 

and Greece. Not sure where next. 

e trip is interesting. ought you 

might enjoy reading one day in the 

life of Key West Lou temporarily 

somewhere else in the world. 

DAY 11 the Greek isle Santorini: 

Ho, ho, Yogi Bear! I am having a terrific 

time! Donkeys have become a 

part of my life all of a sudden. First 

in Navarro when I discovered horse 

meat and donkey meat were sold in 

butcher shops for human consumption. 

Donkey was viewed to horse 

meat as veal is to cattle meat. Now 

donkeys in Santorini. 

Before I made the trip, many told 

me to be sure to ride the donkeys up 

and down the hill. e hill that in 

reality is a mountain of lava. I saw 

the donkeys yesterday for the first 

time. I was taking a walk along the 

other road. e road that runs between 

the cave hotel apartments and 

lesser accommodations. Actually, the 

other side of the road is where the 

working people of Santorini live. 

Much like Stock Island is to Key 

West. 

All of a sudden, I came upon 

eight donkeys on the side of the 

road. All saddled up and ready to go. 

What beautiful animals! I am a 

horse lover of sorts. e horses that 

race at Saratoga. Especially up close. 

Magnificent beasts. So, too, were 

these donkeys. Beautiful shiny coats. 

Ears standing straight up. Big bright 

eyes. Muscular legs. Very muscular. 

ese donkeys carry people up and 

down the side of a nearby lava 

mountain. On a path running along 

the side. Along a five-foot-wide path 

has been constructed 2,000 feet plus 

long. It consists of 500-plus steps. 

e steps of varying widths. A short 

three-foot wall on the ocean side. 

e ride did not appeal to me. I did 

not wish to be an ass on an ass. I was 

fearful of either the donkey or me or 

both of us falling over the wall. I 

raised that issue with the man in 

charge of the donkeys. I think I insulted 

him. He told me very firmly 

that no donkey or person had ever 

KEY WEST 

LOU 

fallen off the path into the ocean. 

e path was made of dirt and 

rocks. I had Nikos give me a ride in 

his car down the mountain. 

e volcano sitting out in the 

water is like a magnet. It draws me 

to it. I decided to visit the volcano 

in the next few days. I want to look 

into the opening and its depths. I 

want to view the smoke and sulphur 

and whatever else my eyes can see. 

e volcano is not too high. Most of 

it sunk into the sea. So I should be 

able to walk to the top. 

ere is an added attraction. 

ere are springs periodically spraying 

water and smoke. Baths from the 

emissions are available on site. I 

want to bathe in these waters. Supposedly 

healthful, I will be doing it 

merely for the experience. 

Sanrorini is the largest of several 

islands born 3,500 years ago when 

the volcano had its major eruption. 

It is big. How large, I am not sure. 

Larger than Key West I do know. 

e whole island has a mere 13,000 

permanent residents. Compared to 

Key West which has 19,000. 

Santorini is the name of the 

whole island. ere are several villages 

and towns on the island. I am 

staying in Oia, one of those towns. 

People are nice here. Just as in Key 

West. Sociable, helpful. 

Catherine Risvani owns the only 

beauty shop in Oia. One to a town, 

I guess. Called Hair & Soul. It is a 

beautifully done small place. Two 

chairs, two sinks, a manicure station 

and a counter. Two lovely ladies 

work for her. Catherine gave me a 

manicure this week. 


LOU 

P E T R O N E 

TALK SHOW HOST

KEY WEST 

PRIDE PARADE 

2012 

LARRY BLACKBURN photographer 

ww.konklife.com 9

LOCAL 

OBSERVATION 

Eden 

On sunny days geckos 

bask on the back 

steps, positioned at the corners of 

the stairs with their prehistoric 

snouts raised in salutation to the 

sun. Geckos are very small and pose 

no threat, but their skittery movements 

unnerve me. Initially I hated 

them. I tried to spook them to scare 

them off. I would rush at them, 

arms out and waggling and making 

frightening noises, but they merely 

stared at me as if perhaps I needed 

help. Over time we developed a 

truce. 

All was well in my animal kingdom 

until one day, as I peaceably 

daydreamed at my computer; absentmindedly 

sipping from ice 

water with key lime juice, when a 

flash caught my attention. Snapping 

me from my woolgathering I saw a 

baby gecko peering out from behind 

a stack on my desk. He was 

tiny and translucently pale, and it 

appeared he was smiling the smile 

of a supplicant, like he was imploring 

me to help. Of course I wanted 

to help, plus I wanted him out of 

the house. e thought of him 

springing over me as I slept gave me 

the creeps. 

Remembering how my friend 

Nalim had tackled the innocent 

owlet of some weeks past, I dashed 

for a towel. e miniature reptile 

stayed crouched beside the stack, 

those trusting eyes staring at me. 

Tossing the towel I pictured great 

mariners loosening seines and hauling 

in catch. Picking up an edge I 

peeked beneath to find nothing. 

No baby gecko. I shook out the 

towel, but he was gone, never to be 

seen again. 

Perhaps I befriended some 

of these geckos, but it was hard 

to be sure, plus it seemed I never 

saw the same beast twice. 

One afternoon the birds began 

chirping hotly, so I skipped to a 

window to see and was affronted 

with the dreadful sight of an oily 

length of blackness slithering 

through the grass. I didn’t trust my 

eyes until the grotesque spectacle 

recurred. Now a walk in the garden 


is fraught, every rustling steeped 

with possibilities of the monster 

looping up a limb and garroting a 

major artery, or fanging me with 

venom. 

Today I was surprised to see a 

tidy pile of dog poo, black and 

shiny and pretzeled beneath a green 

and wicker garden chair stationed 

beside the back steps. en, shockingly, 

from the top of the slimy 

heap, I saw an inky flickering 

tongue shoot out. e crafty snake 

was hiding from view of the suntanning 

lizards, my friends. 

Were I a naturalist I would have 

coolly observed, instead I freaked 

out. All of me quivering I 

slammed closed the rattling screen 

door. Geckos bound away in all directions 

and Snakey oozed into the 

grass, diminishing to a tip that 

remained upright, like a middle 

finger. 

I wonder if I should drag the 

hammock indoors, line it up alongside 

the bed in the living room? As 

my friend Nalim said, “Even Eden 

has its snake, so you must be in 

Paradise! 

e 

CHRISTINA 

O X E N B E R G 

LEIGH VOGEL photo 

www.wooldomination.com 

Facebook/christinaoxenberg

The Green Parrot 

Bill Blue 

j u n e 1 4 - 2 0 

The Smokin’ Tuna 

Howard Livingston

F U N T I M E S 

The Smokin’ Tuna 

4 Charles St., off the 200 block 

Duval Street, (305) 517-6350 

n 

Thursday 

John Friday 1-4pm 

Thom Shepherd 8pm 

Friday 

Tony Roberts 6pm 


Saturday 

Tony Roberts 2pm 


Howard Livingston 7pm 

Livingston’s Meet Me In The Keys 

group in town through Sunday. 

Thom Shepherd joins Rusty 

Lemmon, Tony Roberts and 

others. 

Tuesday 

Rusty Lemmon 6pm 

Sunday-Thursday 0617-21 

Joe Bachman 10pm 


601 White St., (305) 294-6133 

n 

Friday 

Bobby Lee Rodgers 

5:30pm and 10pm 

Smokin’ Tuna 

Joe Bachman 


Bobby Lee Rodgers 


Smokin’ Tuna 

Tony Roberts 

Saturday 

Bobby Lee Rodgers 10pm 

Sunday 

Bobby Lee Rodgers 5:30pm 

Thursday 0622 

Bill Blue 5:30pm 

The Lee Boys 10pm 

Friday 0623 

The Lee Boys 10pm 

Sunday 0624 

Bill Blue 5:30pm 

Friday-Saturday 0629-30 

Flowtribe 5:30pm and 10pm 

Friday; 10pm Saturday 

Continued on page 16

F U N T I M E S 

Schooner Wharf Bar 

Cool Breeze 

| Continued from page 15 

Schooner Wharf Bar 

202 Williams St., 292-3302 

www.schoonerwharf.com 

n 

Thursday Cool Duo 7-11pm 

Friday-Saturday 

Cool Breeze 7pm-Midnight 

From Motown to current rock to Detroit 

funk to rhythmic island music. Jammed 

with KC & the Sunshine Band, Clarence 

Clemons, Darius Rucker of Hootie and 

the Blowfish. 

Sunday The Doerfels 6:30-11pm 

Monday The Real Malloys 7-11pm 

Tuesday Raven Cooper 7-11pm 

Wednesday Gary Hempsey 7-11pm 

Pier House 

The Wine Gallery Piano Bar, 

One Duval, (305) 296-4600 

n 

Friday-Monday 7 

pm 

Larry Smith jazz, 

pop and originals. 

Sunday Showcase 

9pm 

Award-winning 

singer/songwriter 

Jenn Cleary from 

Pier House 

Jenn Cleary 

Boulder, Colorado, 

and Key West. Finalist 

for best album 

of the year by Col- 

orado Blues Society. Repeat performer at 

Sundance Film Fest. Acoustic rockin’ 

blues musician. 

NEXT WEEK: Catherine Duncan, 0624 

n Wine Gallery Piano Bar 

Monday 9pm Jazz Jams Skipper 

Kripitz on drums and bassist Tim 

McAlpine. 

Hog’s Breath Saloon 

400 Front St., (305) 296-4222 

Thursday 

Joel Nelson 1-5pm 

The Riddum Tree 10pm-2am 

Friday 


Barry Cuda & Richard Crooks 1-5pm 


Saturday 

Ericson Holt & Michael Kilgos 1-5pm 


Sunday 


Monday-Sunday, 0618-24 

Carter Brothers Duo 5:30-9:30pm 

Rock, folk, blues, country and bluegrass. 

Biscuit Miller & the Mix 10pm-2am 

Miller hooked up with Sonny Rogers and 

recorded “They Call Me Cat Daddy” 

which wound up winning a Sonny Handy 

Award for best new artist. He played with 

Mojo Buford (Muddy Waters) and Lady 

Blue (Ike and Tina Turner). Miller was 

with Lonnie Brooks 10 years. 

The Gardens Hotel 

526 Angela St., (305) 294-2661 

Friday The Cabaret: 

Michael Robinson on piano 5-7pm 

Sunday Jazz in the Gardens: 

Peter Diamond & Friends 5:30-8pm 

White Tarpoon 

700 Front St. at the A&B Marina, 

(305) 295-5222 

Friday 0615 Adrienne 1-5pm 

n 

Saturday 0616 Adrienne 

Hawks Cay Resort, 8-11pm 

Wednesday 0620 Adrienne 

Sunset Grill & Raw Bar, 7-10pm 

Hog’s Breath Saloon 

Barry Cuda

tropic 

sprocketS 

n 

I N R E V I E W W I T H 

Ian Brockway 

Sound of My Voice 

Sound of My Voice" 

plunges us deep in an 

obsessional space and there are no 

easy answers. Many will be tempted 

to call this film a thriller, a spook 

show, or a "Twilight Zone" Saturday 

chiller. While it has these aspects in 

it, it is really none of these things. 

is film slips and slides and seems 

to toy with the audience, intentionally 

moving to satisfy our desire for 

convention, only to pull away. In 

mood, "Sound of My Voice" resembles 

the claustrophobia and peer 

pressure of Roman Polanski, but 

even this illustration doesn't do it 

justice. ere is more than a bit of 

melancholic dark humor within this 

film, the mark of Mike Cahill's "Another 

Earth" is clearly seen as well as 

Baumbach's "Greenberg" and Jay 

Duplass' "Jeff Who Lives at Home". 

Rather than a post Millenial 

Woody Allen character study, however, 

we are now in the life of a cult. 

Peter (Christopher Denham) is an elementary 

school teacher who has an 

ambition to make a documentary 

film about cults. Somehow Peter and 

his girlfriend Lorna (Nicole Vicius) 

get an Internet tip that one Maggie 

is a delusional zealot from the future 

who is amassing followers. 

We are plunged in the action immediately. 

We see blindfolds, white 

spaces and bottles of chemicals. Are 

these two going to be killed instantly? 

We do not know. ey are 

taken to a blinding corridor and told 

to make no sudden moves. en we 

see a pair of bare feet ominously 

rolling an oxygen tank across the 

smooth floor. Who is this person? Is 

he / she sick or hideously deformed. 

e being is wrapped in white. e 

tank reminds us of one terminally Ill 

and we may well fear the worst. e 

sheet is pulled back to reveal the innocent, 

peaceful and cream-complexioned 

face of Maggie (Brit Marling) 


a young ingenue presumably from 

the year 2050. 

Right away we sense that life in 

this small room is not all that much 

fun and even scary. e other members 

frequently look puffy and moist 

as if they have just finished their periodic 

crying bout. We see strange 

and needlessly long handshakes that 

would seem like something out of 

e ree Stooges were it not for the 

odd sinister silences that punctuate 

each gesture. For the most part we 

are left in the dark as too the cult's 

importance or meaning. What it 

stands for is anybody's guess. 

Most provocative is Britt Marling 

here in her portrayal of Maggie who 

is equally compassionate, gentle and 

brutal as she tells people to vomit on 

command. is scene is probably the 

most difficult to watch, but those 

who hold out will be entertained by 

sleight of hand if not revelation. 

is is not a shock film or a seat 

jumper but rather a curious dream 

that is well worth watching. More 

than once for some reason, I was reminded 

of clinics and hospitals. Just 

when you see the character of Maggie 

one way, she shifts and turns, 

even twisting her back as if repelled 

by us, her third audience. 

rough my research, as the director 

Zal Batmangilij, Mike Cahill 

and Brit Marling have all worked together 

on projects, these three can be 

seen as single minded pioneers, 

breaking new ground just as Sam 

Pekinpah, Roman Polanski and 

William Friedkin seared the limits of 

cellulose before them. 

Taken as a group of three, Zal 

Batmangilij, Mike Cahill and Brit 

Marling are this decade's Paradox 

Pack. ey confound as much as 

they entertain and have the ability to 

turn the sonatas of our lives into 

knots. Yet delight they do by giving 

us occasional visual snaps relating to 

each character and condition. ese 

moments like the light of the Unexpected, 

fall upon us as poetry, rich in 

riddles with angles all oblique. 


Pruning the Pomp 

Keys Energy Services Tree Trimmer David Cottar Jr. trims Poinciana 

flowers from a tree in Bayview Park to be used to line the field of 

Tommy Roberts Memorial Stadium for Key West High School graduation 

ceremony. Given recent budget cuts, Monroe County School 

District no longer has staffing required to perform this task. KEYS 

provides this in-kind service assistance to continue the tradition of 

having graduates enter the field via a Poinciana flower-lined path.

KEYS CALENDAR ARTS 

Florida Keys Council of the Arts Cultural 

Calendar, April 26-May 2. Send in your 

event by ursday noon to the Florida Keys 

Council of the Arts, calendar@keysarts.com 

Key West Happenings 

Arts Council 

l Thursday, June 14 

Cultural Umbrella Committee, NOON 

Gato Building, 1100 Simonton St. 

295–4369. info@keysarts.com 

www.keysarts.com 

ARTIST RECEPTIONS 

l Thursday, June 14 

Organic Wine and Chocolate Pairing, 

10 AM-9 PM. Lush Bar at The Green 

Pineapple, 1130 Duval St. 509-7378. 

l Thursdays 

Wine Tasting & Artist Reception, 

6-8 PM 

l Saturday, June 16 

Tarot Card Reading with Ron 

Augustine, 12-3 PM. Wine Cottage 

on Eaton, 930 Eaton St, Unit C. 

772–216–5933 

CLASSES & WORKSHOPS 

l Friday, June 15 

Laughter Luncheon – Session III, 12 

PM. St. Paul's Parish Hall, Corner of 

Bahama St. & Eaton St. RSVP to 

Arida Wright, 766-4922. 

Interactive, three part series, we will 

focus on relieving the mind, body and 

spirit of stress. Special Guest Presenter: 

Diana Heller – SPIRIT (the way 

of the Buddha). 

l Fridays, Mondays & Wednesdays 

Summer Acting Workshops — 

Mondays & Fridays, Scene Study, 

7 PM/Wednesday, Monologues, 7 PM 

Red Barn Theatre, 319 Duval St. 

296–9911. www.redbarntheatre.com 

Directed by Carole MacCartee. There 

will be a final performance at the Red 

Barn on Sunday, July 22, with an 8 

PM curtain. Call Carole, 296-5587 for 

information and fees. 

l Saturdays 

Paint Your Own Pottery, 10 AM 

Key West Pottery Co., 929B Truman 

Ave. 419.308.9221. 

www.keywestpottery.com 

Ceramic Sculpture Techniques, 2 PM. 

FKCC, 5901 College Rd. 809-3185. 

David Wright showcases New 

Waves of glass, through June 17 

Glass sculptor David Wight 

will be the “artist in residence” 

at Wyland Galleries, 623 Duval 

St., Wednesday to Sunday, through June 

17. Wight will be on hand daily and by 

appointment to meet gallery visitors and 

reveal the processes involved in crafting 

sculptures of molten glass. Wight’s love 

of the ocean and moods inspired him to 

create pieces showing tranquil ripples, 

gentle waves and stormy whitecaps. 

INFO 

Wyland Galleries, (305) 292-4998, 

www.wylandkeywest.com 

African Drum & Dance Classes, 

4 PM. Coffee Mill Dance Studio, 

916 Pohalski St. 296-9982. 

All are welcome. Drop-ins okay. 

Drums and percussions instruments 

available. Thru June. 

l Mondays 

Beading Workshop & Meeting, 1 PM. 

Guild Hall Gallery, Upstairs, 614 Duval 

St. Jean Disrud, 304-8377. 

l Tuesdays 

Painting Boot Camp with Rick Worth 

— Session 1, 12 PM/Session 2, 

6 PM. The Studios of Key West, 600 

White St. 296-0458. www.tskw.org 

l Wednesdays 

Florida Keys Plein Air Painters, 9:30 

AM. Joan Cox, 908-246-2043. 

Show & Tell Art Meeting, 2 PM. The 

Wine Cottage on Eaton, 930 Eaton 

St., Unit C. 772-216-5933. 

FILMS 

l Saturdays 

Kids’ Saturday Movie Club (Ages 12 


& Under), 10:30 AM. Tropic Cinema, 

416 Eaton St.295–4393. 

www.tropiccinema.com 

Kids –$1. Up to two 

Parents/Guardians accompanying that 

child — $1 each. Bike raffle — 1st 

Saturday of the month. Doors open 

at 10am. New for summer! 

l Monday, June 18 

Classic Movie Series: 

Loveable Losers — Caddy Shack, 

7 PM. Tropic Cinema, 416 Eaton St. 

295–4393. www.tropiccinema.com 

MUSEUMS, NATURE & MORE 

l Sunday, June 17 

KWAHS Community Day – Custom 

House Museum, 9:30 AM-4:30 PM 

281 Front St. 295–6616. 

www.kwahs.com 

Free admission to local residents. 

MUSIC 

l Fridays 

Skippo & Friends, 5 PM. Salute, 1000 

Atlantic Blvd. 292–1117. 

In The Cabaret — Michael Robinson 

at the Piano, 5 PM. The Gardens 

Hotel, 526 Angela St. 294–2661. 

www.gardenshotel.com 

Mike Emerson, Guitar & Vocals, 6 PM. 

Tavern N Town, Marriott Beachside, 

3841 N. Roosevelt Blvd. 

l Fridays & Wednesdays 

Waterfront Wine Dinner & Concert, 

8 PM. SHOR American Seafood Grill, 

Hyatt, 601 Front St. 809-1234. 

www.keywest.shorgrill.com 

l Sunday, June 17 

Jazz in the Gardens — 

Peter Diamond & Friends, 5:30 PM 

The Gardens Hotel, 526 Angela St. 

294–2661. 

www.gardenshotel.com 

l Tuesdays 

Skipper's League of Crafty Musicians 

& The Crizzbees, 9 PM. Virgilio's, 

524 Duval St. 296–8118. 

l Wednesdays 

Matthew Jampol Classical Guitarist 

Dinner Concert, 7 PM. Camille’s 

Restaurant, 1202 Simonton St. 

304–1437. 

KIDS 

l Saturdays 

Art is Cool! (Ages 7-15), 10 AM 

The Studios of Key West, 600 White 

St. 296-0458. www.tskw.org 

Thru June 30. 

Coral Camp 2012 (Ages 6-12), 

8:30 AM. Reef Relief Environmental 

Center, Key West. 294 3100. 

reefrelief.org 

Camp Bravo! — Young Stars (Ages 

5–8), 11 AM & Emerging Stars (Ages 

9–14), 2 PM. Waterfront Playhouse, 

310 Wall St.294 — 7382 or email 

Robin, bachbossa@aol.com 

www.coffeemilldance.com 

Pottery Summer Camp (Ages 4-9 & 

10-16). Key West Pottery, 929 Truman 

Ave. www.keywestpottery.com 

Registration begins for 3 sessions 

available for both age groups. 

June thru August. 

Summer Dance Classes 

(Ages 3 and up). CoffeeMill Dance 

Studio, 916 Pohalski St. 296-9982. 

www.coffeemilldance@aol.com 

KWAHS Art Camp 2012 

(Ages 5-7 & 8-12) Fort East Martello, 

3501 S. Roosevelt Blvd. 295-6616. 

www.kwahs.org 

One session in June for each age 

group. Visit website for details and 

application. 

MCT Summer Stage for Kids 

Marathon Community Theater, 

MM 50.1. 743-0408. 

marathontheater.org 

4-week classes, 6-8 PM twice a week, 

June 18 thru to the live show on July 

13. Space limited; early registration 

advised. 

Pigeon Key Summer Marine Science 

Day Camp (Ages 8+). Pigeon Key, 1 

Knights Key Blvd., Marathon. Ananda 

Ellis, 564-8014. www.pigeonkey.net 

Workshops on marine mammals, reef 

fish, coral reef systems and more. 

July 9-13. 

Ukulele Camp for Kids (Ages 6-11) 

Bone Island Music, 1109 Key Plaza. 

Jamie Sorbelli, 414-8056. July 9, 11 

& 13, 8:30-10:30 AM. 

Children will be taught chords, rhythm 

techniques & songs plus arts & crafts. 

e 

Keys Arts Weekly 

www.keysarts.com 

Calendar includes meetings, 

receptions and exhibits, 

classes, workshops for adults, 

children and teens, dance, festivals, 

fundraisers, film, lectures, 

music, museums from Key 

West to Marathon and Big Pine.

KEY WEST 

LOU 

LOU PETRONE 


Catherine is lovely in appearance. A 

typical Grecian beauty. Tall, thin and 

blond. Hair swept up and somehow tied 

in back. Interestingly, I have yet to find a 

Grecian woman who wears her hair 

down. Catherine also has high cheek 

bones. Another trait of Grecian women. 

e bill for the manicure was 20 

euros. About $28. I was out of euros. I 

asked Catherine if she took credit cards. 

No. So I took out one of my $100 bills 

and told her to hold it while I went to 

the ATM machine for euros. She would 

not take the $100. Strangers though we 

were, she trusted me. In a tourist town. 

Typical of the Greeks here. 

Which brings me to Nikos and Maria. 

Proprietors of my cave accommodation. 

Nikos and Maria are around 60. Own 

the Filotera Cave Houses aka Filotera 

Villas. A superior accommodation. Consistent 

with historical Santorini. 

ey and son Adonis work their asses 

off. ey have staff, but work along with 

staff from very early morning to late at 

night. 

When I first arrived and met Maria, 

she was in dress and apron. Smiling always. 

She does not speak English. I no 

Greek. Yet we have had several conversations. 

Each of us has spoken our native 

tongue. We understood each other! 

I figured after first meeting Maria she 

was the typical Mama Mia. A dress and 

apron. Always cooking and cleaning. Always 

watching the grandchildren. 

Was I wrong! e next time I saw Maria 

she was in pedal pushers and T-shirt. Directing 

the employees. 

Nice people these two. 

It was Maria’s birthday the day I arrived. 

She sent a piece of birthday cake 

to my rooms. Nikos picked me up at the 

airport. Nikos drives me wherever I have 

to go. And picks me up. eir caves are 

lovely and clean. Very clean. Take a look 

at them — www.filoteravillas.com 

ese sites will give you a flavor of 

cave living. ey will surprise! 

e second day here, their son Adonis 

showed up with a bottle of wine. He said 

it was from his father’s vineyards. A special 

brew. Please enjoy it. I did, the next 

day. A cross between a white and red. A 

distinctive special taste. Yes, besides 

owning the cave villas, they also own a 

vineyard and wine producing facility on 

Santorini. ey ship worldwide. 

Coral Camp Key West now until August 

C oral Camp for 6- to 12-year-old youths explores the marine environment 

through educational activities at Reef Relief Environmental 

Center. Each day campers 

experience hands-on learning, 

interactive games, group activities 

and state of-the-art videos of 

life at the living coral reef. 

Activities include science and art 

projects and field trips around 

Key West. ree days of snorkeling 

Fort Zachary Taylor State 

Park for snorkel school and then 

off to explore the reef with Fury 

Water Adventures and Sebago 

Watersports. ey tour marine life at Key West Wildlife Center and Key West 

Aquarium, go on an interpretive shoreline walk, scavenger hunt at Florida Keys 

Eco Discovery Center. INFO Reef Relief, (305) 294-3100, reefrelief.org 

Nikos and Maria live across that 

street I mentioned earlier. In a small 

apartment less accommodating than the 

caves. In November, it gets cold on Santorini. 

ey move to their home on the 

other side of the island. When it gets 

colder, they move to their home in 

Athens. During the winter months, they 

generally take a one- to two-month trip 

to the Caribbean or South Pacific. 

It gets better. 

Santorini and the Greek isles are not 

the United States. Many amenities we 

are accustomed to do not exist. Like my 

clothes getting washed and ironed. 

I was warned before I embarked on 

this odyssey that such would be the case. 

I came prepared. Purchased shirts and 

shorts at Orvis. at special material 

that is light, easy to wash and dry. Generally 

requiring little or no ironing. 

I wash my own clothes. For real. Easy. 

In the bathroom sink. Drop some dishwashing 

fluid on the clothes. A bit of 

water. Wash with my hands. en shake 

dry. e clothes still need hanging. Dryers 

are not common place on the island. 

Could not hang the clothes in front of 

my cave accommodation. It would not 

be proper. 

ere are clothes lines across the 

street at the cheaper accommodation. I 

hung my first washing there to dry. 

When I returned that evening, Maria 

came out to greet me. She insisted on 

ironing my clothes. My savior in disguise! 

If you ever plan to come to Santorini, 

stay with Nikos and Maria. You 

cannot do better. Telephone number is 

003022860 71110, Filotera@otent.gr 

Enough for today. is afternoon I go 


to a beach somewhere on this island 

where I am guaranteed bare-breasted 

women. And, if I am lucky, some bare 

assed ones. Enjoy your day! 

e 

KEY 

NEWS 

LARRY MURRAY 


to affect the level of education the students 

are receiving? 

LM Budget cuts always affect the final 

product, and the final product in education 

is the kids. Unfortunately there is 

no silver bullet out there. I need to know 

more about the totality of the budget 

from the ground up. Bear in mind we 

have an $80 million a year budget which 

is the highest entity in Monroe County. 

It is double that of the Sheriff’s Department, 

but of that $80 million it is estimated 

80 percent goes into salaries and 

wages. When you start talking about cutting, 

you are almost automatically into 

the human dimension as well. 

GD Do you feel you can talk to the 

Teacher’s Union about actually taking a 

salary reduction opposed to the furlough 

days the current administration keeps 

forcing onto teachers to save money? 

LM e furlough days constitute a salary 

reduction — teachers approximately 4 

percent and administrators 3 percent. 

More importantly, I think it is time for 

the district to talk to the teachers. We 

have a virtual state of war existing right 

now. We are in litigation. at is no way 

to run a school district. I think we all 

need to catch our breath and take a step 

back, sit down and work together, because 

we all ultimately have the same 

common objective. 

GD When you look at the distrust between 

the two sides here, is there a way 

you feel you can start communicating a 

change of trust? 

LM Certainly. You have to extend the 

hand of welcome to the teachers. Obviously 

you do that through the Teacher’s 

Union and the collective bargaining 

process, but I’m reasonably confident if 

the board extends the hand along with 

the administration to the teachers that 

they will respond in kind. Right now, 

considering how they have been treated 

the last couple of years, they signed the 

contract in good faith with the school 

district. e school district has not come 

through with it. We can argue about 

whether it has met the terms of the contract 

or not, but the bottom line is that 

the school district has not come through 

with what the district had promised 

when the teachers signed that contract. 

GD When you say that the district has 

not followed through with honoring the 

contract, what are the areas you feel they 

are holding back on? 

LM I think we all know it’s primarily 

salaries. e district promised there 

would be certain salary increases for 

teachers. e first year when Dr. Joe 

Burke was superintendent of schools 

money was paid, but last year and then 

again this coming year money will not 

be paid. I asked Joe Burke at the time if 

we had the money to pay this contract, 

and he assured me that we had the 

money. I asked that question of him 

more than once. It doesn’t make sense 

that in February we had enough money 

to pay all district employees a 3 percent 

raise and then in May we were talking 

furlough days. ere is something wrong 

with the budget process if you are flushing 

fat in February and in May you are 

broke. 

GD Do you think Dr. Burke may have 

been spewing a false hope? 

LM You would really have to ask Dr. 

Burke why he said what he said. I can 

only say I was leery at the time about 

whether or not the district had the 

money from what I had read and learned 

on the Audit and Finance Committee. 

Unfortunately, the superintendent was 

adamant to all of us we had the money. 

e


Dark Shadows 

Here it is. e moment that the most Goth 

and kitschy among us have been waiting 

for: the latest film adaptation of the cult soap opera 

"Dark Shadows" which ran on Tv from 1966 to 1971. 

e supernatural elements of the soap, most notably 

the introduction of Barnabas Collins (Johnathan Frid) 

were introduced about six months into the show's run. 

From then on, the show took off into the night becoming 

ravenously popular. I've heard countless stories of 

many during that time racing home from school or 

work to catch the latest Naugahyde nightmare in its 

half hour time slot. 

I was a bit behind the times and a little too young. 

At five years old, near the show's conclusion I was coping 

with my own orthopedic monsters due to hip surgery. 

Alas, I was too preoccupied then to taste 

Barnabas' astral charms and his speech which in retrospect 

is as heavy as an oak casket. 

But fear not, now I can rest easy and endure periods 

of smoother insomnia with this latest version of the afternoon 

spook show directed by the funster of Fright, 

Tim Burton. Better still, the film actually gives the impression 

that if you were born too late to catch the original 

Dark Shadows, they are here once again as lurid 

and as lovely as ever. 

It is hardly a surprise that we have the Vamp virtuoso 

of Camp, Johnny Depp as Barnabas, complete with 

heavy eyeliner and lipstick. Not since Divine have I 

seen anyone incorporate his makeup so well until it becomes 

almost a personal trademark. Rather than play 

Barnabas in gravely gray tones throughout, as Frid 

once did, there is more than a bit of tongue and cheek 

here. It is Johnathan Frid as interpreted by John Astin. 

Gomez Addams is never far away. ere is the usual 

comic commentary about the current age when our 

eerily existential elitist awakes: cars have an infernal luminescence 

and TV is sorcery. It isn't the dialogue that 

is funny so much as the delivery. Depp is so deliciously 

Draculish and brazenly Barnabas that his timing is perfect. 

Tim Burton knows his visual history and the washed 

out greens and grays retain the unmistakable anemic 

cinematography that the original series had to cope 

with. For Burton, the look of the film is both conceptual 

and a matter of infectious nostalgia. e iconic 

black rocks that bookend each dramatic segment remain 

identical to the original and are just as crucial to 

the film as its characters. In "Dark Shadows" appearance 

is everything. 

e film does become a bit torpid and tepid during 

its middle passage. Barnabas does a lot of skulking 

around the grounds of the family mansion with Elizabeth 

(Michelle Pffeifer) and Willie (Jackie Earle Haley) 

both of these characters have very little magnetism of 

heart or mind. For a few minutes, I grew impatient and 

thirsty. 

e action picks up again however when Barnabas 

confronts the dark and delectably diabolical Angelique 

(Eva Green) who has all the best lines. Green's chemistry 

with Depp is masterfully meshed with enough 

monster chemistry to quell a hundred lovelorn Lon 

Chaney, Jrs. Everything is lampooned here from "Fatal 

Attraction" to a bit of "e Exorcist" projectile pea 

soup. e love scene by itself will have you howling in 

your seat as much for its Rube Goldberg style ribaldry 

as its carnal cacophony. 

"Dark Shadows" although a bit uneven and jagged is 

a visually robust crowd pleaser with enough sight gags 

and sneaky charms to excite both those who burn for 

the third coming of Barnabas Collins and the sons of 

Scissorhands who venerate Tim Burton by night or day. 

Write Ian at redtv_2005@yahoo.com 

www.TropicCinema.com 

THE NAKED 

CONCH 

MATT GARDI 


ways and have ideas and solutions that appeal to that 

growing base of Lean IN voters. e need to construct 

a billboard every 100 yards and tarnish our landscape 

for months leads me to believe that the candidate is taking 

the easy, wasteful, old school route hoping they can 

capture a greater chunk of the less informed Lean OUT 

voting base. at being said, feel free to offer opinions 

on my blog at nakedconch.com. Also, please participate 

in the poll I have hosted there to help gain a sense of 

how the public feels about this seasonal destruction of 

our landscape. (Once on NakedConch.com, do “signs” 

search for the poll.) 


B U S I N E S S I N K E Y W E S T 

COMMUNITY 

Artist Lydia Firefly 

e 6th Midsummer’s Night 

Dream, June 23 

Centennial Bank presents the 6th Annual 

Midsummer’s Night Dream & Spectacle 

5–11 p.m. Saturday, June 23, for a magical evening of 

artistic expression, music, feasting, dancing, singing 

and theatrical antics celebrating the art and artists of 

the Keys. Held on the grounds of the Key West Tropical 

Forest and Botanical garden, the Spectacle is co-produced 

by Michael Shields’ Java Studios and e Key 

West Tropical Forest and Botanical Garden in benefit of 

Art Behind Bars and e Tropical Forest and Botanical 

Garden. Midsummer’s Night, observed worldwide by 

many cultures, is seen as a time when the veil between 

this world and the next is thin, and powerful forces are 

abroad. All are invited to join the creation of the Midsummer’s 

Night, an opportunity to celebrate why we 

live here and give artists a platform to share the power 

of their dreams. Food and beverages available 

INFO $10 admission (children under age 

12 and Centennial Bank customers free). 

Attire Key West cool to midsummer’s magical. 

For more information, (305) 394-3804, 

keywestupdates.com

NOW WE’RE 

COOKING 

Bucket list of foods 

Bucket list of foods. 

Yeah, it’s an overused 

term these days, but it makes a lot 

of sense. We get into patterns, and 

I’m no exception: Routine, same 

foods, “like this, don’t like that,” 

and, “I don’t have time to sit and 

eat.” 

One of the surprising things 

about our amazing bodies is that 

they change a lot about every six to 

seven years. By change I mean 

chemistry and likes and dislikes. 

Some people go half their lives not 

eating sushi, for example, as they 

don’t find it appealing. en one 

day by chance they try it and love it. 

It’s a crazy life, and we have changes 

that happen with foods that go unnoticed 

because we don’t try anything 

out of our normal food 

comfort zone. I would like to challenge 

you in the next two weeks to 

try, not to eat tons of it but to try 

some new foods. So let’s make a 

bucket list. 

1. Add more fruit to your diet, 

like some kiwis, or buy a cantelope 

melon. It might not be new, but you 

probably don’t eat enough fruit. 

Look at more pocket fruits, like apples, 

pears, oranges and bananas 

that you can carry around and eat 

when the mood strikes you. 

2. Buy some odd veggies you 

would not normally think of eating, 

like beets, radishes or artichokes. 

An easy way to 

try these is cook them 

and add them to a salad 

so you ease into it. 

3. Cook at least once 

a week. is doesn't 

mean putting something 

in the microwave! It doesn't 

matter if it’s a salad, 

some pasta or an entrée, 

as long it is something 

you like, and then add a 

new item to it. 

You can make extra and share 

with a friend, which will always be a 

winner and make you feel good 

about cooking. We all need to reconnect 

with cooking, and not always 

eating out or settling for the 

evil fast food. 

PAUL 

M E N T A 

EXTREME CHEF 

nwcooking.com 


4. Plant something. It can be as simple 

as some basil or cilantro. You 

can get small ones at the stores for 

maybe $4 and keep it in a pot and 

watch it grow. When it gets bigger 

you can use "your" basil in a dish. 

e dish will taste so much better, 

and it’s good to feel what it’s like to 

grow something and be a part of the 

food cycle. 

I know it seems like a lot, but for 

14 days this will take a total of only 

three hours of your time, which is 

nothing. We need to enjoy life, and 

in life two of the most enjoyable 

things are food and friends. I was 

saddened by the loss of a good 

friend and fellow writer, Courtney 

Aman. Even if you didn’t know him, 

you saw him at some point: huge 

muscles, big smile and his dog, 

Max. I met Courtney about 14 years 

ago, of course in the restaurant 

world, where he waited tables. I 

would see him a lot or not for 

months. He was always cheerful and 

would give me great training advice 

any time. It was great to see him be 

a strong part of Key West; he set his 

own goals to bring health, fitness 

and eventually his own place to the 

island. He was a ripping huge guy 

who was very easy going; he took 

time out for people and loved seeing 

anyone do well for themselves. My 

son wanted to get into some new fitness, 

and Courtney was there with a 

big smile. As sad as I am, I also look 

at what I learned from 

him, and I am happy to 

have had the chance to 

know him. He loved to 

meditate, and he gave me 

some good insight to help 

in my own life. We should 

all enjoy what’s in front of 

us and celebrate Courtney’s 

life as he did while 

he was with us. If you 

drive by the gym, send 

some good thoughts to 

family and friends. He was an important 

part of many people’s lives 

and made a difference in all of us. 

e 

Eat local and always with a friend! 

Aloha 

KONKLife”s BIG SAVINGS are here! 

Advertise 

YOUR 

SPECIAL! 

Get YOUR 

SAVINGS 

here!

KEY WEST PRIDE 

LARRY BLACKBURN photography 

22 www.konklife.com

BITCHIN’ 

PARADISE 

Have you ever gone to 

someone’s house and, 

upon entry to the restroom, found 

that they’ve peed all over their toilet 

seat? Me neither. So why in the hell 

do people piss all over toilet seats 

and bathroom floors in public restrooms? 

Really, why? 

I’d think that by the age four 

we’ve all memorized the nursery 

rhyme, “If you sprinkle when you 

tinkle, please be neat and wipe the 

seat.” at’s one of the golden rules. 

It’s not the golden shower rule. 

is has always been a pet peeve 

of mine, but even moreso now that 

I work in bars and see it more frequently 

in unisex bathrooms. For 

some reason, there are men who do 

not feel the need to lift the seat before 

they relieve themselves. ey 

don’t even feel the need to hit the 

bowl. 

But I’m not reserving all the 

blame for men. In fact, I think 

women can be even nastier. ere 

has been many a toilet seat in the 

ladies room that requires a wipedown. 

I don’t get it. Just line it, 

ladies! 

What makes you think the next 

person should have to cleanup after 

your mess? at’s a very nauseating 

job, and I don’t have the thigh 

strength or balance required to 

hover, especially while wearing heels 

or after a few drinks. I tried once, 

lost my balance and, yeah, landed 

bare-skinned on some stranger’s 

sweet relief. 

Never again, I tell you. NEVER 

AGAIN. ere’s not a hot shower 

long enough to make you feel clean 

after that. 

Oh, wait, there was that one 

other time I hovered and got 

distracted by someone in the stall 

next to me. Trying to keep my 

balance by holding on to the toilet 

paper dispenser, I noticed a girl on 

her hands and knees praying to the 

porcelain god. Wow, so glad that’s 

not me. at’s so nasty. ese were 

the thoughts going through my 

mind. Until I realized that I had 

been so relieved not to be the one 

GETTING PISSY 


puking that I actually relieved myself 

on my own shorts. Not pretty. 

So yeah, after that, NEVER 

AGAIN. at’s one resolution in life 

I’ve kept. I implore you to make it 

your resolution, too. 

And if I see you leave a public 

restroom without washing your 

hands, I’m going to point you out 

to my friends. Cause, hey, that’s 

just the kinda bitch I am. 

One other thing, I don’t get sex 

in bathrooms. With all the germs 

and smells and sticky floors . . . 

where’s the turn on? Especially for 

those inclined to check Mile High 

Club off their bucket list. Have you 

ever in your life been in a pleasant 

airplane bathroom? And now you 

want to get busy in there? 

ere’s nothing hot about that. 

Oh, right, but when you walk out 

everyone will know that you got 

laid. Bragging rights. Woo-hoo. 

Fancy yourself a stud, but it 

really just makes you a dirty dude. 

e 

Kimberley 

Denney 

@bitchinparadise 

bitchinparadise@earthlink.net or 

www.bitchinparadise.net 

Tweeting @bitchinparadise

June 14 - KONK Network

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