Michael Popkin

Spr 

Active Parenting rides the video wave 

Dean Anason Staff Writer 

05/15/1992 

Atlanta Business Chronicle 

Page 10b 

(Copyright 1992) 

TRUE NORTH INFORMATION CENTER 

Michael Popkin 

August 4, 1999 

Michael Popkin , founder and director of Active Parenting Publishers in Marietta, knew he had some 

business sense early on in college . 

Even though he was a recreation major at Indiana University who would later become a family therapist, 

Popkin was playing Monopoly one day as a freshman and beat three business majors at their own game . 

"Well, it's not so hard," Popkin , an Atlanta native, told himself . And now he's a finalist for the Atlanta 

Small Business Person of the Year. 

Active Parenting sells educational videos and support materials to schools, hospitals, churches and 

anyone else who wants to teach parents how to raise their kids . The company provides training for group 

leaders who can in turn help parents . 

When Active Parenting began in 1983, the company only offered one video to cover the whole parenting 

experience . But in 1989, a video dedicated to teen parenting was released . 

The teen video sold as many copies in the first two months as the original did in the first two years . 

Popkin says . Additional video programs have been put together on building self-esteem and, most 

recently, on coping with loss, such as divorce or death . 

Active Parenting sells about 5,000 videotapes a year, Popkin says . That includes sales to a number of 

other countries, including Canada, Australia and Japan . 

The company now employs 23, with an additional 27 sales representatives around the country, Popkin 

says . 

But the entrepreneurial leap was not an easy one to make, Popkin says . More so than having vision, 

Popkin says he had to persevere in the face of three years of research and development and two years 

of losses . 

When Popkin decided to quit his job as coordinator of child and family services for Northside Hospital's 

community mental health centers in 1980, he had an idea for interactive videos via computer terminal that co 

could provide parenting instruction, and he envisioned a nationwide chain of centers featuring the p 

technology. cf.~ 

~ 

"I felt like I really wanted to control the destiny of the project," Popkin says . "The only way to do that is to co 

branch out and do it on your own." 0 a 

~ 

But in the early 1980s, the hardware for the project was too expensive, so Popkin decided to switch to the oC) 

videotape-based training . The move turned out to be a good one, as it brought groups of parents together 

in one session who could share information with each other. 

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"It was probably fortuitous that we jettisoned the {computer} idea," Popkin says . 

The next task was finding investors . Popkin 's father, Harry, and two of his friends signed for a $250,000 

loan for Popkin to begin the business . 

One of those friends, Irwin Feldman, says it was no risk at all . 

"It was a sure thing from the beginning," says Feldman, former owner of the Carriage House . "Michael is a 

very smart fellow." 

The company grew from $130,000 in sales in 1984 to $564,000 in 1986, the first year the company turned 

a profit . By 1989, Inc. magazine put Active Parenting at 243 on a list of the 500 fastest-growing 

companies in the country, and last year they surpassed $3 million in sales . 

That growth rate has slowed considerably as the company has matured, but Active Parenting has a 

commitment to grow and keep adding products, Popkin says . 

In the meanwhile, Popkin , who has a,doctorate from Georgia State University in counseling psychology, 

will no doubt have many chances to practice at home what he preaches . He and his wife, Melody, have 

two children of their own : Megan, 6, and Ben, 2 . Filename V Dsk Date Pag KY1 KY2 Slug 

Depth HS 

Abc 

Publisher leads the way to the video revolution 

Heather MacLeod Staff Wiiter 

11/04/1991 

Atlanta Business Chronicle 

Page 42a 


Michael Popkin, Ph .D ., founded Active Parenting Publishers in 1983 with an idea slightly ahead of its 

time : to use newly widespread video technology as the carrier for his personal development curriculum . 

Eight years later, Popkin has 25 employees in 8,000 square feet of a Cobb County office park . He 

publishes four major video-based programs, and he expects sales this year to top $3 million . 

By training, Popkin is a child and family therapist who always has been fascinated by innovations in 

education, or "how we teach as well as what we teach ." He says he first thought of video-based parenting 

education in 1979, but had to convince investors not only that the education was needed, but that the 

technology was sound . 

His father and two of his father's friends helped provide Popkin with the some of the $250,000 he needed 

to produce, market and distribute Active Parenting, his first series . Sold primarily to teachers, counselors 

and ministers, the company's major programs now include Active Parenting for Teens, Free the Horses : A 

Self-Esteem Adventure, and Windows : Healing and Helping Through Loss . 

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August 4,1999 

Popkin says 95 percent of the information contained in the curriculum "was already out there, but the 

video-based delivery system is uniquely structured ." 

Active Parenting Publishers has become the industry leader in video-based parenting education, Popkin 

says, because, "The leaders in parenting education at the time (in 1983} were audio-based . They really 

left us alone for the first five years," because they apparently thought video would be expensive and 

therefore couldn't sustain mass appeal . 

Boy, were they wrong . Popkin says his company turned a profit after two years . His second product, 

Active Parenting for Teens, which was released five years after the first series, turned a profit after two 

months . He estimates sales of Active Parenting at 15,000-plus in eight years, and 6,000 for the teen 

program in three years . For those two programs alone, Popkin estimates 200,000 parents will be trained 

this year, based on the book sales . 

In 1989, Inc . magazine put Active Parenting at 243 on a list of the 500 fastest-growing companies in 

America, based on a five-year average of between 1,200 percent and 1,300 percent growth in sales . 

For the fiscal year ended June 30, Active Parenting showed 13 percent growth in sales, well below the 

previous three years' rates of 50, 67 and 67 percent . Popkin says the recession, as well as the education 

budget-slashing that is occurring in a lot of states, is to blame . 

"The good news is we're in good shape, if we ever come out of recession . We're poised to take off with 

four major programs," says Popkin . He has four employees in product development, and has plans to 

introduce a product a year. That sort of long-range thinking, Popkin says, is essential to his vision of 

growth for the company . 

Marketing is crucial to Active Parenting, which mails a million pieces of direct mail a year. 

Popkin says of his marketing instincts, "I'm self-taught, but I'm smart enough to know my limitations and 

{then} hiring consultants with knowledge of education ." And he credits his company's string of successes 

to market research and the fact that "I was a customer first . My instincts are pretty good because I was on 

the other side of it ." 

Active Parenting Publishers also offers leader certification workshops across the country, and Training of 

Trainers seminars, which have enabled more parents to receive the education without Popkin having to 

be the one delivering the message and therefore traveling constantly . 

Popkin serves on the U .S . Government Office of Substance Abuse Prevention expert panel on "Parenting 

as Prevention ." 

Like many an entrepreneur before him, Popkin wants to get away from being "overly involved in routine 

decisions" by hiring a manager, so that he can devote himself to developing programs and strategic 

planning . 

Popkin says, "We are unique in that we are a for-profit company with a social mission . And we must 

never lose sight of that . We have to balance the contribution {to society} and the numbers {we're earning} . 

co 

"That was the criteria I put on myself when I became an entrepreneur," says Popkin ."I had to be o 

financially successful but good for society." "Vision, courage and perseverance" : Popkin 

~ 

"They really left us alone for the first 5 years because they didn't think video would catch on ." _ Popkin , co 

on his competitors 4~11 

0 

0 

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August 4,1999 

METRO 

Psychologist tells parents to give children choices 

Michael O/love 

04/25/1993 

The Baltimore Sun 

FINAL 

Page 6B 

(Copyright 1993 @ The Baltimore Sun Company) 

Government has evolved from autocracies to democracies . It's time parenting techniques followed suit, 

says psychologist and author Michael Popkin . 

As the keynote speaker at the fifth annual mayor's conference on child care at the Baltimore Convention 

Center, Dr. Popkin insisted that autocratic or dictator-style parenting is as ill-suited to a democratic 

society as kings and nobles would be . 

Autocracies of all kinds do not respect the individual . Today's children, Dr. Popkin said, do not respond 

well to absolute dictums. 

"We've got to find better techniques than laying down the law," Dr . Popkin said . A steady barrage of 

scolding and humiliation "just falls on deaf ears or, worse yet, falls on rebellious ears, much like those 13 

colonies ." 

Dr. Popkin 's advocacy for parenting that emphasizes encouragement and choices rather than 

punishment and strict control is not particularly novel . He is a pioneer, though, in the method of spreading 

his message. In 1984, he began marketing his techniques in a series of interactive videos, one of which, 

"Active Parenting," is now being presented to parents of students at Baltimore's "Tesseract" schools, the 

city's nine-school experiment in privatizing education . 

Dr. Popkin's hourlong speech culminated Mayor Kurt L . Schmoke's child-care conference, where as 

many as 1,200 workers attended seminars on child-rearing . 

The subjects ranged from the concrete - diet and exercise - to the complex - juvenile violence and drug 

abuse . The theme that threaded through all the seminar discussions was the primacy of building selfesteem 

during a child's earliest years as the best prevention to later destructive behavior . 

Dr. Popkin , who lives in Atlanta, reiterated the point . 

Punishment, he insisted, may cause a child to avoid bad behavior, but it will also breed resentment and 

anger. On the other hand, he said, enhancing a child's self-esteem prompts the child to make the right 

choices for the right reasons, to be cooperative, contributing members of society . 

Rather than the autocratic approach, Dr. Popkin strongly urged parents to give their children choices so 

they will learn independ ence and gain confidence . But he warned parents that the children must also be 

exposed to the consequences of the choices they make . 

While stressing the need to give children liberties, Dr . Popkin railed against the permissive or "doormat" 

parents, who give in to their children's every whim to avoid confrontation . Parents must establish limits, he 

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n 

1

said, but "freedom within those limits ." 




Another benefit of self-esteem, Dr. Popkin said, is that it helps build a characteristic disappearing from 

the American character : courage, the willingness to take risks . Children must learn to take "known risks 

for known purposes ." Only then, he said, will they have the best chance to succeed . 

"We don't want our children to live lives of regret because of fear not to risk," he said . 

GWINNETT EXTRA 

Parenting specialist in growing demand Family therapist's videos, seminars focus on skills 

Rebecca Nash STAFF WRITER 

10/13/1994 

Atlanta Constitution 

Page H/5 

(Copyright 1994 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) 

Former Northside Hospital family therapist Michael Popkin has parlayed parenting into a lucrative 

business - his video training programs for parents are so successful he's had to give up his practice . 

Afterjuggling the demands of his new company and a full schedule of speaking engagements, the 

Marietta resident now teaches parenting through his programs, books and lectures . 

Popkin , the 44-year-old father of two, produces videos designed to help parents enhance their childrearing 

roles . After founding Active Parenting Publishers with a $250,000 loan in 1983, Popkin introduced 

the first video parent education program, the Active Parenting Discussion Program . 

The company turned a profit in two years, and in 1989 was named to Inc . magazine's list of fastestgrowing 

small businesses . 

Popkin's video-based training is also used by churches, schools, hospitals and mental health centers to 

help parents learn skills in group settings as they interact with each other . 

"They're designed to give practical answers to problems," said Popkin, who focuses on four themes in 

the videos: responsibility, cooperation, courage and self-esteem . 

"We help instill this in children," Popkin said . "The whole idea is parenting is a skill, and like any skill, we 

need to provide some training and education for it ." 

Popkin , who holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from Georgia State University, is a frequent cp 

speaker at conferences across the country and abroad - he made four appearances in Kuwait last year . p 

W 

He will be featured Oct. 22 at "The Family Forum : A Survival Guide for Parents in the'90s," a daylong I 

parenting seminar open to the public . The program will be held at the Castlegate Hotel at 1-75 and Howell co 

Mill Road ; for ticket information, call 454-7599. -91 

O 

The keynote speaker will be Dr . Ron Taffel, author of "Parenting by Heart" and a columnist for McCall's tv 

magazine, a co-sponsor of the event along with Atlanta Parent magazine, Egleston Children's Hospital, 

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WPCH-FM radio and Popkin 's company . 




Popkin said he will discuss "how things have changed since we were kids, and the importance of 

discipline in building children's self-esteem and courage ." 

But Popkin doesn't confine his talks to his own experiences . 

"I innovate a little bit based on my experiences at home, {but} most of what we teach is developed over 

the decades," he said . "The last thing I want to do is learn from only one source of personal experiences ." 

Notes: Photo : Family therapist Michael Popkin plays with children Ben, 4, and Megan, 8 . l ERIK S . 

LESSER / Special Photo : Michael Popkin plays soccer with his son . / ERIK S . LESSER / Special 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . : . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

STYLE 

Style Plus ; Families 

Dinner-Hour Bonding 

Barbara Burtoff 

09/04/i987 

The Washington Post 

FINAL 

Page b05 


Is the family dinner hour about to become obsolete? 

Some social researchers worry that it will . As we overschedule our lives with work and extracurricular 

activities, we won't have as much time to sit down together for meals as a family unit . 

The consequences, they warn, will be a generation of youngsters who have less opportunity to develop 

self-esteem, communication skills, manners and a sense of responsibility . 

"Dinner is one of the few times during the day that the whole family is together," says Atlanta psychologist 

Michael Popkin,"so dinner becomes one of the few times for emotional bonding . This reinforces a 

child's sense of belonging, which is a basic foundation for mental health and self-esteem ." 

C. Margaret Hall, associate professor and chair of the sociology department at Georgetown University, 

agrees . "Parents learn what is going on in the life of their children and they get to hear it from the 

children's perspective, which should make them more understanding adults . 

"In turn," says Hall, who is also a family therapist, "children learn what is going on in the life of their 

siblings and parents . Being in the know makes children feel more sure and secure." 

For those who study behavior, the family dinner hour is not a new subject of concern . In the 1940s, social 

researchers at the University of Pennsylvania were recording and analyzing table talk . 

Authors James Bossard and Eleanor Boll reported in their 1948 college textbook The Sociology of Child 

Development (Harper and Row) that the dinner table was the focal point for most of the family interaction, 

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August 4,1999 

and thus it also was the time the family was most apt to reveal its true self : whether exchanges were 

constructive or destructive, and whether the father, mother or one of the children was in charge of the 

household . 

So why the new scrutiny of the dinner hour as we finish the 1980s? 

Family therapists point to the rise in two-career families and single-parent families . Many mothers and 

fathers have less time to spend with their children and are asking how to make the most of it . The dinner 

hour, say parenting pros, is one way families can spend quality time together . 

"Dinner becomes one of the few times for emotional bonding . This reinforces a child's sense of 

belonging ." 

-Psychologist Michael Popkin 

Among the questions these therapists are asked concerning the dinner hour : 

"How long should the dinner hour be?" 

"Whatever it takes to eat at a relaxed pace and share and discuss news . Thirty minutes might be enough 

for some while others may prefer an hour . Do try to keep it to the same time-5 p .m . or 6 p.m . or whatever," 

says sociologist Hall . "Routine makes youngsters feel secure . Don't delay it more than 15 to 30 minutes to 

accommodate a tardy family member. Let your family know that you expect them to make the dinner meal 

together a top priority and to show up on time . If someone can't, it is only courteous to let you know 

ahead." 

Palo Alto psychologist Arthur Bodin tells the story about parents with a young daughter who dawdled at 

the table . They couldn't understand why it took her so long to eat . Was it a lack of appetite? Was she 

having difficulty swallowing? Bodin, president-elect of the Family Psychology Division of the American 

Psychological Association, told them she was starved for attention . The dinner meal was the only time 

she could get her parents to look and listen so she wanted to make the most of it . Since they had other 

evening activities, he advised them to tell the child ahead when mealtime would have to be over and to 

make it a point to give her quality attention at other times as well . 

"In our family, Dad doesn't get home from work until 7 or 8 p .m. The children are home from school by 4 

or 5 p .m . and they are starving . I can't expect them to wait to eat dinner so that we can be together as a 

family ." 

"Who's in charge?" asks psychologist Lonnie Carton . "You or the kids? Give them a nutritious snack to 

tide them over until dinner with their father or serve them dinner earlier but save the fruit or dessert course 

to eat later with their dad and allow time for meaningful conversation ." 

Carton, who is director of the Parent Education Resource Center-School Volunteers for Boston and is the 

author of Raise Your Kids Right (Pocket Books, 1985), offers another reason for an orderly dinner hour : 

"Unfortunately," she says, "I see the flip side when children don't eat with parents . There's a good reason 

why school cafeterias are called 'zoos.' " 

"Everyone in our house is on a different schedule . My husband and I both work and never seem to come 

home at the same time twice. The teens have afterschool sports and club activities . There is no way we 

can have dinner together every night as a family unit . What do you suggest?" 

"Schedule a quiet time of talk later in the evening after homework or before bed . On the weekend, make it 

a point to have at last one family meal," says Bodin . "The hectic schedule has a silver lining . It provides 

opportunities for various family members to eat together . When talking in subgroups, they may discover 

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and enjoy new facets of one another ." 




"For the last two years, I've been a single parent . After the divorce, I didn't feel we were much of a family 

anymore . The dinner hour was the most difficult time. That's when the absence of the children's father 

was felt most. When the kids asked to eat their dinner in front of the TV, I didn't raise any objections . What 

do you think?" 

"It is even more important for the single-parent family to make dinner together a top priority," says 

psychologist Popkin . "Immediately following the divorce is the time the children feel especially vulnerable 

and insecure . Dinner together reinforces that you are still a family unit even without that other parent at 

the table . Occasionally, invite other adults to join the family for dinner-people your children already know, 

such as longtime family friends, grandparents, aunts and uncles . To bring to the table someone of the 

opposite sex they do not know might make them worry that you are about to announce remarriage plans," 

says Popkin . 

Says Carton : "The added adults give the children a chance to hear other points of view and help them 

learn skills of being a good host and making a guest feel comfortable ." 

"If there are never adult visitors," adds Hall, "the single parent may use their children as their confidantes . 

This places an inappropriate burden on children ." 

"How do you feel about TV being on during dinner?" 

"The best news is family news," says Popkin . "No TV with dinner." 

Adds Carton, "Some parents turn on the TV with the excuse that they absolutely must watch the news to 

keep informed . This is nonsense . News shows come on several times during the evening ." 

Bodin believes, however, that exceptions can be made. "If you must watch while you eat to see an 

especially important program-President's address or a sporting event, for example-it could be a unifying 

experience . Spend a little time together afterward talking about it so that there's family interaction ." 

"I recently married for a second time. I have two teens . My husband also has two teens from his previous 

marriage who live with us . The dinner hour is the absolutely worst time of day . I have always expected my 

children to talk and share at the table . He grew up in a family where children were seen but never heard . 

He doesn't allow his children to talk while we're eating and gets mad when mine do . Any suggestions?" 

"Have a family discussion or meeting-separate from the dinner hour-and pool ideas as to how to deal with 

this," recommends Hall . "What is most important is that the dinner time be relaxed and tension-free ." 

Says Bodin, "The husband and wife should try to resolve this, possibly bringing in the children on some 

parts of this if the parents have made substantial progress . If they can't, they may benefit from 

professional help ." 

"What about dining at a restaurant?" 

"If you sit down together as a family and have time for real communication, then the fast food place or 

restaurant experience can be as meaningful as dining at home," says Hall . "If the child feels it's a special 

treat, he or she may be more relaxed and more likely to open up and discuss a troubling issue . Eating out 

is a real release for parents, too ." 

Adds Carton, "Of course, if you eat out as a family at a restaurant, you can control your children's eating 

habits . If they act like pigs or are rude, you can give them a look or a gentle reminder . But the many times 

your children are invited for a snack, dinner or a sleep-over at someone's home, the only control you have 

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is the good training you've provided at home . Like it or not, your children's actions reflect your actions . So 

it isn't only for our children's good that you eat together as a family . Consider it self-protection ." C 1987 

Barbara Burtoff Syndicated Features 

ILLUSTRATION,,Loel Barr 

LIFESTYLE 

FAMILY TIES 

What to do when it's kids vs . parents I Free, five-Saturday series of classes begins locally today 

Jane Clifford 

04/12/1997 

The San Diego Union-Tribune 

UNION-TRIBUNE ; 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 

Page E-3 


If you've already had a rough morning nagging the kids over how many cartoon shows they can watch or 

you anticipate an argument later this weekend over undone homework or curfews, then read on . 

Parents all over San Diego County are invited to attend a series of free workshops called "For Moms & 

Dads," where many familiar conflicts will be addressed - and maybe even resolved . 

Beginning today and running through May 10, the five-part Saturday series will be presented 

simultaneously at schools in 12 of the county's districts from 10 a .m . to 12 :30 p .m . (See below for sites 

and further information .) The presentation is a combination video/discussion program led by teachers and 

counselors from each district who have been through training sessions on the materials . 

The videos were developed by Michael Popkin , an Atlanta psychologist who is founder and president of 

Active Parenting Publishers . Popkin believes that parents are more likely to learn new skills by seeing 

familiar problems -- and solutions - acted out on tape . 

'We want parents to walk away from these workshops with specific, concrete things they can do," said 

Jerry Bronstein, director of the Parent Education Project, which coordinates the series . Bronstein and his 

wife, Einat, are both clinical social workers with experience in family and marriage counseling . 

'We wanted to offer parenting education free to parents in the St . Louis area," he said . So the couple 

organized a series of workshops in their hometown, coordinating it through the local schools . It was so 00 

well-received, he said, that they decided to take the series on the road . Today, it comes to San Diego and p 

several other cities . Whether you can attend all five workshops, or only one, Bronstein promises you will W 

come away with "concrete ways of eliminating the stress inherent in raising children." I 

co 

If that's not enough incentive, here's a rundown of what will be covered in the five sessions : -P, 

O 

Today : "How You Can Help Your Child Succeed in School." 01% 

{} Preparing your child to succeed . Focuses on how to develop your child's leaming style ; how to provide 

the right environment for study and homework ; and how to build a positive relationship with the teacher . {} 

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Encouraging positive behavior. Targets techniques to motivate children and promote positive and 

cooperative behavior at home and in school . {} Reinforcing your child's academic skills . Highlights how to 

strengthen your child's language and reading skills . 

Next Saturday : "Becoming the Best Parent You Can Be ." 

(This is the first half of Popkin 's "Active Parenting Today" curriculum for parents of children ages 2 to 

12.) 

{} Parenting Styles . A look at three styles of parenting, allowing you to explore your roles and goals as a 

parent . Learn how giving your children choices reduces power struggles and promotes cooperation . {} 

Encouragement and Self-Esteem . Illustrates concrete skills to build courage and self-esteem in children - 

the foundation for positive behavior and success . Highlights four methods of encouragement to strengthen 

your child's belief that he or she is capable, lovable and can succeed . {} From Misbehavior to Positive 

Behavior. Learn why children act the way they do and how you can respond most effectively to both meet 

their needs and eliminate inappropriate behavior, including whining and tantrums . April 26 : "Raising 

Responsible, Self-Confident Cooperative Kids ." 

(This is the second half of Popkin 's "Active Parenting Today" curriculum for parents of children ages 2 to 

12 .) 

{} Developing Responsibility . Learn how to develop mutual respect, set limits and use effective discipline 

skills, such as'9ogical consequences" to prevent conflict . 

{) Winning Cooperation . Focus is on recognizing communication blocks and practicing specific techniques 

to win your child's cooperation and strengthen your relationship . 

{} The Power of Family Meetings . Learn how to start having family meetings, how to choose and discuss 

important topics and structure "ground rules" for problem-solving . You'll also see a family meeting that 

demonstrates how to talk to children about alcohol and drugs . 

May 3 : Facing the Turbulent Teen Years . 

(This is the first half of Popkin 's "Active Parenting of Teens" curriculum for parents of pre-teens and 

teens .) 

{} Understanding Your Teens . Here you can explore your roles and goals as a parent of a teen-ager, 

viewing three parenting styles and determining what effect your style has on your teen . 

{} Encouragement and Self-Esteem . Highlights ways to show confidence in your teen ; how to avoid 

discouraging your teen ; how to help build confidence and self-esteem to successfully deal with life's 

challenges . {} Developing Responsibility . How setting limits and effective discipline prepare your teen for 

responsible adulthood . You also will learn how to structure "freedom to make choices" within expanding 

limits. May 10 : Thriving Throughout the Teen Years . co 

(This is the second half of Popkin 's "Active Parenting of Teens" curriculum for parents of pre-teens and CD 

teens.) w ~ 

. co 

{} Winning Cooperation . Learn the most effective ways to communicate with your teen-ager 

A 

{} The Challenge of Alcohol and Drugs . Understanding the reasons teens experiment the four stages of ~ 

drug-use progression ; and the 10 key parental roles in the prevention of substance abuse. V 

{} Parenting and Teen Sexuality . How to talk with teens about their feelings and values while clearly 

stating your expectations . Learn how to provide accurate information and set clear guidelines for behavior 

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ased on your family's values . 


Michael Popkirz 


This comprehensive series of workshops, which includes in-depth brochures distributed to parents 

through participating school districts, is funded by Sharp Healthcare . 

Following is a listing of sites and numbers to call for information . You are invited to attend any or all of 

these no-cost workshops, which Bronstein says are "for all parents, not just those having problems ." The 

end result, he says, is that "the parent is still the leader and authority in the family, but family living 

becomes much less stressful ." Participating districts/workshop locations : 

{} Cajon Valley -- Cajon Valley Middle School Library, 395 Ballantine St ., El Cajon ; (619) 588-3645 . 

{} Chula Vista Elementary (workshops in Spanish and English) - Harborside School, 681 Maple St . ; (619) 

425-9600, Ext . 467 . 

{} Coronado Unified -- District Office, 555 D Ave . ; (619) 522-8932 . 

{} Escondido Union (today's workshop only) -- Baker Branch of Escondido Boys and Girls Club, 835 15th 

Ave. ; (760) 745-0515 . 

{I La Mesa-Spring Valley (April 26 and May 3 workshops only) - Sweetwater Springs School Auditorium, 

10129 Austin Drive, Spring Valley ; (619) 668-5895 . 

{} Lemon Grove Elementary -- Golden Avenue School Auditorium, 7885 Golden Ave .; (619) 589-5764 . 

{} National (workshops in Spanish and English) - Family Resource Center at Kimball School, 304 W . 18th 

St. ; (619) 477-4155 . 

{} San Diego Unified (workshops at three sites in Spanish and English) - Clairemont High, 4150 Ute St . ; 

Gompers Secondary, 1005 47th St . ; Roosevelt Junior High, 3366 Park Blvd . ; (619) 293-8129 for 

information on all three sites . 

{} Santee -- Carlton Oaks Elementary Media Center, 9353 Wethersfield Drive; (619) 449-2076. 

{} San Ysidro (workshops in Spanish and English) - to be offered from May through July ; please call 

district for further information on dates and sites ; (619) 428-4476, Ext. 269 or 217 . 

{} Vista Unified - Breeze Hill Elementary, 1111 Melrose Way; (760) 726-2170, Ext . 2218. 

I PIC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

NEWS 

Atlanta fights the downside of prosperity 

Larry Copeland 

06/18/1999 

USA Today 

FINAL 

Page 17A 

'age 11 http://170.200.105.30/Info Center/index.l:tml 


0 

O 

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~ 

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-c. 

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ATLANTA 




Michael Popkin was born in the city and now owns a small publishing company up the road in Marietta . 

He remembers when Atlanta moseyed, when folks rarely griped about traffic, when smog was a West 

Coast concept. 

Deborah Rucker recalls fondly when commuting from Hall County to downtown was a breeze . There was 

only one set of traffic lights in her town and no one feared being late because of gridlock . 

Ah, those pre-sprawl days . 

Now, Popkin , 49, has settled into a house in the suburbs . He picked the neighborhood partly because it 

would let him commute against traffic . But he worries that he's losing potential employees because they 

don't want to face the daily trek to Marietta . He frets about his health because of the brownish haze that 

tints the Atlanta sky . 

Rucker, 51, finds she needs a trip to the family farm in rural Georgia now and then, a quick fix of open 

spaces. She says the daily gridlock had become such a grind that she took a pay cut so she could 

telecommute and work from home . "It is horrible," she says . "I just didn't want to deal with it anymore ." 

Popkin and Rucker don't know each other and don't have that much in common . They're merely two 

Atlantans, two among 3 .5 million, who have seen their lives altered by suburban sprawl . 

Across the nation, sprawl - growth designed primarily around automobile access - has joined such 

perennials as crime and education as quality-of-life issues that people care about passionately . In last 

fall's elections, voters in 19 states approved more than 70% of ballot measures to protect and preserve 

sprawl-threatened green spaces, says Phyllis Myers, president of State Resource Strategies, a 

Washington, D .C., consulting firm . Suburban voters increasingly are fed up with sprawl's consequences, 

and businesses are worried that gridlocked roads and long commutes are hurting their ability to attract 

and keep employees . 

Atlanta, where growth has been equated with success for decades, is the nation's latest cautionary tale on 

the problems of sprawling growth : traffic congestion, poor air quality and disappearing green space . 

"Certainly, Atlanta has become the poster child for sprawl," says Edward Thompson Jr ., senior vice 

president of American Farmland Trust in Washington, D .C . "Among those who work on these kinds of 

issues fulltime, there is no question that Atlanta is sort of Exhibit A ." 

The region doesn't like that label . So it's launching an ambitious effort to control sprawl that, if it succeeds, 

could be a blueprint for other regions . The effort is anchored by a new regional transit authority that is to 

have unprecedented powers . The first members of the Georgia Regional Transit Authority, which Gov . 

Roy Barnes pushed through the Legislature in March, were sworn in last week . 

They are to have nearly unlimited say on almost every aspect of transportation in the region - from 

building and widening roads, to creating a carpooling system, to building a new regional transit system or 

coordinating existing ones. They will be able to issue $1 billion in revenue bonds and tap another $1 

billion in general bonds . Their rulings will affect zoning decisions . They even will have control over new 

business sites . 

GRTA, called Greta by Atlantans, is the new superagency expected to be immune to the regional 

factionalism and political tampering that hampered such initiatives in the past . Its decisions can be 

overruled only by a three-quarters majority of local governments . But such a vote would risk losing federal 

Page 12 http://170.200.105.30/lnfo_ Centerlindex.html 




August 4,1999 

and state transportation money, because GRTA has the final say over all expenditures of those funds . 

Even with all that muscle, the new agency's success hinges on convincing Atlantans to do what they have 

long rejected : Get out of their cars . 

Nobody expects that to be easy . Atlanta has tried before, with Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority 

(MARTA) . But when MARTA, which controls buses and subways in two counties, tried to influence 

commuting habits of Atlantans, it was spurned . "It's going to be very difficult," GRTA Chairman Joel 

Cowan says. 'We've got to get people to take that first step toward getting out of their cars ." 

He says GRTA likely will try to do that initially with a modest plan that combines carpooling and lowpolluting 

compressed natural gas buses . "That helps achieve the desired environmental impact, and it's 

an easier step for that critical cultural change ." 

Once Atlantans accept mass transit as a viable alternative, he believes, they will be more receptive to 

traditional forms of mass transit . 

During the past decade, metropolitan Atlanta has grown faster than any other city in the country, adding 

nearly a half-million out-of-state residents since 1990 and stretching from 65 miles north to south to 110 

miles. - 

They're still coming . 

Last year, in fact, the metropolitan area had three of the nation's 10 fastest-growing counties : Forsyth, 

Henry and Paulding, according to the U .S. Census Bureau . 

That growth has come at a cost. Metropolitan Atlanta heads into the 21st century as an endless stretch of 

strip shopping centers, large and small subdivisions and huge malls . Its rivers are among the nation's 

most imperiled, and developers are clearing 50 acres of tree cover a day . 

But traffic is where sprawl gnaws hardest at the daily lives of Atlantans . Drivers here endure the nation's 

longest commute -- an average daily round trip of 34 miles for every person in Atlanta . Dozens of new 

road projects have been stalled because the region violates the federal Clean Air Act . 

"What bothers me is when you look at the horizon and you see that band of pollution," says Popkin , who 

grew up in northwest Atlanta in the 1950s and 1960s and is the owner of Active Parenting Publishers . 

"When I was growing up, it was blue skies from horizon to horizon ." 

Popkin 's company, which develops videos and books for parenting education courses, employs 20 

people . When a position comes open an he tries to hire, he doesn't always get the person he wants . He 

points to sprawl as a reason . 

"Sometimes, when we're interviewing for a position, I've lost candidates because Atlanta has gotten so big 

that if they live on the other side of town, they say they don't want to commute all the way to Marietta," he 

says. - 

CA 

When Popkin was growing up, he rode the bus from northwest Atlanta downtown to Georgia Tech football p 

games, where he sold Coca-Cola . "It seemed very, very easy to get around back then," Popkin says. w 

"Atlanta was much more self-contained . Sandy Springs (a suburb 20 miles north of Atlanta) was I 

considered way out." CC) 

-A 

Now, a simple delay on one of the area's critical highways -1-85, 1-75, 1-20, 1-285 -- often stalls traffic ~ 

across the whole region for hours . 

CD 

"The interstates are nothing more than local roads," says Jim Chapman, executive director of Georgians 

Page 13 lattp.//I70.200.I05.30/Injo_Centerrndexhtml 





for Transportation Alternatives, a coalition of groups seeking public support for alternatives to roads . "You 

start to think, 'Why do we have to drive so much to meet our daily needs?' It's just the way the area grew ." 

In 1985, when Rucker moved back to Georgia from Broward County, Fla ., the population boom had only 

just begun . She split her time between Atlanta and Oakwood, out in Hall County, north of the city . "That 

was kind of a bedroom community of Atlanta, and the traffic wasn't bad at all," she says . "There was only 

one traffic light, and that was when you got off the expressway . There was one bank, and no hotels . 

"Now there are six banks on one street and four or five motels . What used to be open space and open 

fields has now become strip malls ." Eventually, Rucker quit commuting . "Itjust got to the point where I 

couldn't take it anymore," she says . "I just couldn't deal with being stuck in that traffic anymore ." 

Rucker and Popkin , like others here and in other areas that are beginning to suffer sprawl problems, are 

watching closely to see what Barnes and GRTA do . They have their fingers crossed . 

Barnes, a veteran state legislator who took office in January, was born and raised in suburban Cobb 

County, and says his awareness of sprawl came gradually. "There was no moment of epiphany," he says . 

"But Cobb County, which used to be some 50,000 people, started to grow in the'60s and now there are 

more than 500,000 . 

"I saw the changes that occurred, and I knew that sprawl, as opposed to planned growth was something 

we had to address, for air quality and quality of life ." 

"For the first time in my life, I'm thinking about whether I want to stay, whether I want to remain here after 

retirement," Popkin says . "I'm wondering what's Atlanta going to be like in 12 years, and whether I'll want 

to still be here ." 

GRAPHIC,b/w,James Abundis,USA TODAY,Source :U .S. Census Bureau(Map,Bar graphs) ; 

PHOTOS,color,Michael Schwarz for USA TODAY(2) ; PHOTO,b/w,John Bazemore,AP ; Caption : On an 

overpass in rush hour: Atlanta native Michael Popkin moved to the suburbs to commute against traffic, 

but the publisher worries that the area's traffic hinders his efforts to find top-quality employees, and he 

fears fo r his health . Deborah Rucker: She took a pay cut to telecommute and work from home to avoid 

metropolitan Atlanta traffic . 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

LOCAL NEWS 

Classes help moms, dads grow in parenting 

Robert Anthony Watts Staff Writer 

05/10/1988 

Atlanta Journal 

Page C/01 


There was a time when, if Carmen Smith's child was having trouble in school, Mrs . Smith would have 

acted first and pondered the matter later . 

But when her daughter, Melanie, recently complained of being harassed by a fellow student at Chesnut 

Page 14 htlp ://170.200.105.30/Info_ Center/index.html 





Elementary School in DeKalb County, Mrs . Smith didn't march down to the school and demand action 

from the teacher, as she might have done in the past. 

Instead, she drew on ideas she learned in the Active Parenting class at Chesnut Elementary and 

encouraged Melanie to tell her friends that she was being harassed . The trouble stopped after Melanie's 

friends confronted the bullying girl . 

"That worked out beneficially for her in two ways," Mrs . Smith said . "She saw that she had friends, which 

gave her a feeling of self- confidence . And it also showed her that she didn't need me to come in and talk 

to the teacher and handle the situation for her ." 

Mrs . Smith is one of an increasing number of parents who, faced with the difficulties of raising children in 

a rapidly changing society, are looking to a new place for guidance and support: the classroom. Some, 

such as Mrs . Smith, say the new skills and approaches they learn are helpful . 

"I think it's good that the school system offers this type of thing, because today's parents don't have 

parents or grandparents right here to talk to you and that's where you used to get your support system," 

Mrs . Smith said . 

"Parenting courses are becoming more popular," said John Vaughan, director of guidance counseling and 

testing for the Fulton County school system, which sponsors several parenting courses at schools . 

"In our society today, parents are just experiencing a need for some help in learning to do the things that 

help children grow up ." 

Active Parenting, the six-week class Mrs . Smith enrolled in, is one of the more popular parenting courses, 

and has seen explosive growth in the number of classes offered since it started five years ago, according 

to its founder, Michael Popkin . 

"Parenting is a skill and with any skilled job in our society, we provide training," Popkin said . "But 

parenting is the one skill that we expect people to do automatically ." 

One premise of the course is that autocratic approaches to raising children provoke anger and resentment 

among children in modern society . The course espouses the idea of a democratic family in which children 

are allowed to state their views freely . 

But Popkin is quick to say that allowing children to state their views doesn't mean they should make the 

final decisions . "It means you talk to him with respect," Popkin said . 

But deciding to enroll in a parenting course can be a difficult decision for many parents, according to Pat 

Williamson, a marriage and family counselor who teaches parenting courses for Gwinnett County . 

"There's . . . a little bit of a threat in going to the classes in that it's an admission that they aren't doing it as 

well as they'd like to," said Ms . Williamson . 

Popkin agrees that there is resistance and hesitation among many people who frown at the idea that co 

parenting skills can be taught in a class. But, he added, "When they sign up, there is a sense of relief." O W 

David Smith, a 39-year-old Delta Air Lines pilot and father of two, enrolled in an Active Parenting class at ~ 

Esther Jackson Elementary School in Roswell because he was having trouble getting along with his 8- ~ 

year- old twins. ~ ~ 

Smith said the class had given him many helpful ideas . "I kind of joked in class that if I had taken this N 

class a couple of years ago, I may not have been divorced ." 

Page 15 http ://170.200.105.30/Info_Center/indexhtm! 



Miclzael Popkin 

August 4,1999 

Smith said he learned to pay better attention whenever one of his sons, Kris and Erik, speaks to him . 

"Kris, my one son, told me, 'You always say I'm stupid"' Smith didn't recall saying that to his son, but he 

listened carefully to see what the youngster might have meant . 

Smith, who had been feeling pressured at work and had been in a bad mood, figured his son had noticed 

the frustration in his voice when he spoke to him . 

"I don't know whether it's a result of the class alone, but there's just no screaming and hollering in the 

house ." 

Notes : Photo: Sharing stories and laughs about their parenting experiences (from left) Edna Wu, Judy 

Barnes and Heidi Bass attend a meeting of a parenting support goup ./DIANNE LAAKSO/Staff 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

GWINNETT EXTRA 

SKILL SHARPENER Parenting specialist in growing demand 

Rebecca Nash STAFF WRITER 

10/13/1994 

Atlanta Constitution 

Page G/9 


Help for guiding hands : A Marietta resident's videos and seminars on bringing up offspring focus on 

practical skills for problem-solving . 

Former Northside Hospital family therapist Michael Popkin has parlayed parenting into a lucrative 

business - his video training programs for parents are so successful he's had to give up his practice . 

Afterjuggling the demands of his new company and a full schedule of speaking engagements, the 

Marietta resident now teaches parenting through his programs, books and lectures . 

Popkin , the 44-year-old father of two, produces videos designed to help parents enhance their childrearing 

roles . After founding Active Parenting Publishers with a $250,000 loan in 1983, Popkin introduced 

the first video parent education program, the Active Parenting Discussion Program . 

The company turned a profit in two years, and in 1989 was named to Inc . magazine's list of fastestgrowing 

small businesses . 

co 

Popkin 's video-based training is also used by churches, schools, hospitals and mental health centers to O 

help parents learn skills in group settings as they interact with each other. W 

~ 

"They're designed to give practical answers to problems," said Popkin , who focuses on four themes in co 

the videos: responsibility, cooperation, courage and self-esteem. A ~ 

'We help instill this in children," Popkin said . "The whole idea is parenting is a skill, and like any skill, we W 

need to provide some training and education for it" 

Page 16 http ://170.200.105.30/In/'o Centerrndexhtmt 



MichaeZ Popkin 


Popkin , who holds a doctorate in counseling psychology from Georgia State University, is a frequent 

speaker at conferences across the country and abroad - he made four appearances in Kuwait last year . 

He will be featured Oct. 22 at "The Family Forum : A Survival Guide for Parents in the'90s," a daylong 

parenting seminar open to the public . The program will be held at the Castlegate Hotel at 1-75 and Howell 

Mill Road ; for ticket information, call 454-7599 . 

The keynote speaker will be Dr . Ron Taffel, author of "Parenting by Heart" and a columnist for McCall's 

magazine, a co-sponsor of the event along with Atlanta Parent magazine, Egleston Children's Hospital, 

WPCH-FM radio and Popkin's company . 

Popkin said he will discuss "how things have changed since we were kids, and the importance of 

discipline in building children's self-esteem and courage ." 

But Popkin doesn't confine his talks to his own experiences . 

"I innovate a little bit based on my experiences at home, {but} most of what we teach is developed over 

the decades," he said . "The last thing I want to do is learn from only one source of personal experiences ." 

Notes : Color Photo : Family therapist Michael Popkin plays with son Ben, 4, and daughter Megan, 8 ./ 

ERIK S . LESSER / Special 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Front 

Across America: Atfantans see ugly side of sprawl Prosperity brings gridlock, smog -- and move 

to control growth 

Larry Copeland / USA TODAY 

07/09/1999 

The Detroit News 

Final 

Page A2 


ATLANTA - Michael Popkin was born in the city and now owns a small publishing company up the road 

in Marietta . He remembers when Atlanta moseyed, when folks rarely griped about traffic, when smog was 

a West Coast concept . 

Deborah Rucker recalls fondly when commuting from Hall County to downtown was a breeze . There was 

only one set of traffic lights in her town and no one feared being late because of gridlock . 

Ah, those presprawl days . 

Now, Popkin , 49, has settled into a house in the suburbs . He picked the neighborhood partly because it 

would let him commute against traffic . But he worries that he's losing potential employees because they 

don't want to face the daily trek to Marietta . He frets about his health because of the brownish haze that 

tints the Atlanta sky . 

Rucker, 51, finds she needs a trip to the family farm in rural Georgia now and then, a quick fix of open 

Page 17 ltttp ://170.200.105.30/Info Center/indexhtml 





spaces . She says the daily gridlock had become such a grind that she took a pay cut so she could 

telecommute and work from home . "It is horrible," she says . "I just didn't want to deal with it anymore ." 

Popkin and Rucker don't know each other and don't have that much in common . They're merely two 

Atlantans, two among 3 .5 million, who have seen their lives altered by suburban sprawl . 

Atlanta, where growth has been equated with success for decades, is the nation's latest cautionary tale on 

the problems of sprawling growth : traffic congestion, poor air quality and disappearing green space . 

"Certainly, Atlanta has become the poster child for sprawl," says Edward Thompson Jr ., senior vicepresident 

of American Farmland Trust in Washington, D .C . "Among those who work on these kinds of 

issues full time, there is no question that Atlanta is sort of Exhibit A ." 

The region doesn't like that label. So it's launching an ambitious effort to control sprawl that, if it succeeds, 

could be a blueprint for other regions . The effort is anchored by a new regional transit authority that is to 

have unprecedented powers . The first members of the Georgia Regional Transit Authority, which Gov . 

Roy Barnes pushed through the legislature in March, were sworn in last month . 

They are to have nearly unlimited say on almost every aspect of transportation in the region - from 

building and widening roads, to creating a carpooling system, to building a new regional transit system or 

coordinating existing ones . They will be able to levy $1 billion in revenue bonds and tap another $1 billion 

in general bonds. Their rulings will affect zoning decisions . They even will have control over new business 

sites. 

Even with all that muscle, the new agency's success hinges on convincing Atlantans to do what they have 

long rejected : Get out of their cars . 

"9t's going to be very difficult " agency Chairman Joel Cowan says . "We've got to get people to take that 

first step toward getting out of their cars ." 

During the past decade, metropolitan Atlanta has grown faster than any other city in the country, adding 

nearly a half-million out-of- state residents since 1990 and stretching from 65 miles north to south to 110 

miles . 

They're still coming . 

Last year, in fact, the metropolitan area had three of the nation's 10 fastest-growing counties : Forsyth, 

Henry and Paulding, according to the U .S . Census Bureau . 

Now a simple delay on one of the area's critical highways - 1-85, 1-75, 1-20, 1-285 - often stalls traffic 

across the whole region for hours. 

Drivers here endure the nation's longest commute, an average daily round trip of 34 miles for every 

person in Atlanta . Dozens of new road projects have been stalled because the region violates the federal 

Clean Air Act. p o 

O 

'What bothers me is when you look at the horizon and you see that band of pollution," says Popkin , who W 

grew up in northwest Atlanta in the 1950s and 1960s and is the owner of Active Parenting Publishers . -~ 

"When I was growing up, it was blue skies from horizon to horizon." ~ 

~ 

In 1985, when Rucker moved back to Georgia from Broward County, Fla., the population boom had only -' 

just begun . She split her time between Atlanta and Oakwood, out in Hall County, north of the city . "That ~ 

was kind of a bedroom community of Atlanta, and the traffic wasn't bad at all," she says . "There was only 

one traffic light, and that was when you got off the expressway . There was one bank, and no hotels . 

°age 18 h1tpJ/I70.200.I05.30/Info_ Center/inder.html 





"Now there are six banks on one street and four or five motels . What used to be open space and open 

fields has now become strip malls ." Eventually, Rucker quit commuting . "9tjust got to the point where I 

couldn't take it anymore," she says . "I just couldn't deal with being stuck in that traffic anymore ." 

Photo : Daily traffic jams are making Atlanta a poster child for the dangers of urban sprawl . The Atlanta 

region - with 3 .5 million people -- is launching an effort to control sprawl . Ric Field I Associated Press 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

JOB GUIDE 

'Right' Mistakes Can Spur Growth lf They're Handled Constructively 

Virginia Hall and Joyce Wessel Special to The Journal-Constitution 

03/26/1989 

Atlanta Journal and Constitution 

P/39 


"Perfection is notjust a right but an obligation," declares Michael Popkin in his "tongue-in-cheek" book, 

"So - Why Aren't You Perfect Yet?" 

"Each of us bears two undeniable obligations in life," Mr . Popkin says. "One is the golden rule . . . . The 

other is to become perfect as soon as possible and stay that way for as long as necessary ." 

In the interest of humor, Mr. Popkin caricatures our passion for perfection . For many of us, however, his 

words feel all too true. The fear of making mistakes hangs heavy in our thoughts and creates real 

obstacles to pursuing our dreams . 

The irony, of course, is that mistakes are inevitable and that trying to avoid them sends us in selfdefeating 

circles . Our career success hinges not on avoiding mistakes, but on dealing with them 

intelligently . 

The important considerations when tackling mistakes are understanding the difference between "right" 

and "wrong" mistakes and developing appropriate attitudes to deal with each type . 

Wrong mistakes spring from sloppiness, inattention, carelessness or indifference . Our attitude toward 

these, whether they are ours or others, is that they are intolerable . 

If you see a pattern of wrong mistakes in your behavior, get to the root of the problem - fast . You may be 

burned out, worn out, stressed out or in need of a job change . Whatever it is, deal with it now . It won't get 

better with time. co 

O 

If you manage employees with consistent patterns of wrong mistakes, you risk sabotaging your entire V .t 

operation . The smart management attitude is, of course, to "fix the problem ." If you can't fix the problem, -I 

the worst-case scenario is that you may have to sever the source . Before you take drastic action, 00 

however, check out the situation carefully. ~ ~ 

Be sure the person really knows what you expect from him . He may be confused, inexperienced or ~ 

inadequately trained . In that case, you will want to assess your part of the responsibility and look to 

training, mentoring or other good management options to solve the problem . 

'age 19 http://I70.200.I05.30/!n/b Centerrndex.html 





When and where criticism is necessary, make it constructive, positive and clear . Set out desired 

behaviors, rewards and time frames for behavior changes . Be sure the consequences for failing to change 

are understood. Summarize and clarify to make sure everyone is on the same page of the hymn book . Set 

follow-up dates for reassessment of the situation . 

Sloppy mistakes often come more from poor planning than from poor judgment . If you or your 

subordinates are shortchanging on plans for quick execution of projects, wrong mistakes may be the price 

you are paying for the shortcut . 

Wrong mistakes are not separated from right ones by the scope of the consequences . People have 

committed some million dollar dillies and been promoted . The dividing line is the care, thought and logic 

that preceded the problem . 

Right mistakes are the honest ones, those that come from someone who is trying and thinking but is 

simply wrong . Right mistakes are the logical consequences of stretching and risking in the name of 

creating a new or better product, system or idea . 

Our attitude toward right mistakes is that they are our "teachable moments ." We don't want to waste them . 

The degree to which we use right mistakes constructively is the degree to which we become successful . 

It's called turning stumbling blocks into steppingstones . 

The first step is to realize that you can't stumble if you are standing still, so give yourself credit for moving . 

Applaud what you did right and acknowledge what went wrong . 

Next, consider the following tips for profiting from your mistakes : 

Admit your mistakes . Many of us cringe at the idea of criticism . We deny any and all parts of what went 

wrong . Blame becomes our crutch . In reality, the quickest way to draw attention to a mistake is to try to 

cover it up. You certainly don't want to broadcast your every error to the world, but if it was an important 

glitch, admit it. - 

Hendrie Weisinger and Norman Lobsenz, authors of "Nobody's Perfect " call criticism a "four-letter word - 

grow." When we learn to see criticism as useful feedback, and right mistakes as a willingness to take 

risks, it becomes much easier to lay the facts objectively on the table, discuss them and grow in wisdom . 

Don't confuse what you did with who you are . It is all too easy to personalize our fallibility . It is critical to 

realize that you are not your mistakes . Don't personalize them, analyze them . 

Look around and notice the honest mistakes others make . "Failure is the most democratic of all clubs, 

admitting old and young, rich and poor, black and white, chief executive officers and simple clerks," 

Carole Hyatt and Linda Gottlieb say in "Why Smart People Fail ." "About the only thing its members have 

in common is their secrecy about belonging ." When you can admit your mistakes and view them 

objectively, you are still a member of the club, but the pressure is off . 

Don't make excuses . Most people won't believe excuses . Even if they do, they probably will be turned off 

from having to listen to them . Don't excuse, explain . It is important to be able to articulate the reasoning 

behind decisions that don't pan out . Describe, step by step, your logic, your plan, your actions, your 

obstacles and your outcomes . 

Emphasize the parts that worked well and be straight about the problems . Demonstrate clearly what you 

have learned and how you will use this understanding in the future . 

Never blame others . It may be true that the mistake was not your fault . It is, however, irrelevant if the 

glitch happened in your area of responsibility . It is a matter of integrity among successful managers to 

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m 

O 

W 

~ 

co 

.t~ 

~ 

V




share the glory of succe sses with subordinates and bear the public heat for flawed decisions or projects . 

Utilize, don't agonize . From Adam to lacocca, people have prevailed because they overcame mistakes, 

not because they didn't make them . Ask .for constructive feedback to analyze what went wrong and how 

things can be turned around in the future . When we ask for feedback, we have to be prepared to accept it 

gracefully, even when it stings the ego . The more the words burn, the more we probably need to hear 

them . 

Mistakes are never to be taken lightly . Making the same mistake twice is a big mistake . Honest mistakes, 

however, are turning points . They give us pause to clarify our thought processes, our planning strategies 

and our personal goals . 

Send comments or suggested topics to Virginia Hall and Joyce Wessel, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 

P .O . Box 4689, Atlanta, Ga . 30302 . 

Notes : Illustration : a man with angel's wings flying through the sky . I CLAIRE INNESS I Staff 

LIFESTYLE 

Parental fine-tuning // Lessons learned 

Charlene Duroni 

02/17/1998 

lntelligencerJournal Lancaster, PA 

Page A-6 

(Copyright 1998 Lancaster Newspapers) 

Parenting is the most important job that anyone can have . It is also one of the most difficult. Many parents 

today admit they could use a little help . 

Florence Stemplinger took the COBYS Active Parenting course last fall at the urging of a friend . In March, 

she will take the "Family Ties that Bind" course and has asked another friend to join her . 

Stemplinger said she realized that her parenting needed to stay current with the times . "Some of the 

techniques that worked when I was a child just don't work now," she said . She also found her style 

needed to adapt to the needs of a growing child . Her daughter, Greta, is now 8 years old . 

"The course made me more aware that this child is a human being with emotions and feelings that I 

probably was not in tune with . You keep thinking that this 8-year-old is still a 4-year-old," she said . co 

While she views herself as a good parent, Stemplinger said there is always room for improvement . And CD 

she found the course at COBYS a supportive learning environment. "The things I was doing right, they U4 

affirmed," she said . "And the things I knew I didn't do right, they showed me a better way ." co 

4~- 

Stemplinger said she now takes time out to think about how she will react in a given situation . "If she does I 

something and I just take that extra minute to think "how do I want to react to this?' it helps defuse the co 

situation," she said . 

Her newfound parenting skills have worked well so far and Stemplinger said her husband is very 

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supportive of her efforts . 



August 4,1999 

When her friend first suggested taking the course together, Stemplinger, who works part time, admits she 

didn't want to spare the time . "You just have to stop and say, "this is a priodty,"' she said . "Once you get in 

there, you feel so much better about being a parent ." 

The strain of an impending divorce was taking a toll on David Schra's two sons, Michael, 10, and Dan, 6, 

He signed up for the Active Parenting course in search of some answers . 

"I didn't think I had a parenting problem - I love my children," Schra said . "But I think that is what everyone 

thinks . Now I know you can always get better." 

Schra has temporary custody of Michael, while Dan and his mother live in Florida with her parents . He is 

anxious to make a smooth transition for the boys when they are reunited and live with their mother . 

Schra was impressed with the Michael Popkin book, "Active Parenting," and has adopted many of its 

suggestions . "Take time every day to play," is one piece of advice that he has taken to heart . "Time is 

precious," Schra said . "Any kind of play - even if it is only five minutes - goes a long way to strengthen the 

relationship ." 

Another of the book's suggestions is an age-appropriate responsibility list in conjunction with an 

allowance . Schra says Michael is responsible for vacuuming once a week, picking up his room, putting his 

clothes in the hamper and his dishes on the sink . He also empties all the inside trash cans on trash pickup 

day and brings the recycling bin out to the road . He also is learning to fold his underwear, pajamas and 

socks after they are laundered . If everything on his list is completed, Michael receives a $6 allowance . "!f 

something isn't done, it's a dollar or two off," his father said, reporting that, so far, the system is working 

very well . 

Consistency and discipline appropriate to the circumstance were other important concepts that Schra 

found beneficial. "I think parents typically raise kids the way they were raised," Schra said, adding that he 

is glad to have other options now . 

PHOTO ; Caption: David Schra and son Michael have both benefitted from the Active Parenting Today 

course at COBYS Family Services . David has learned there is always room for improvement when it 

comes to parenting skills . ; Credit: Barry Zecher 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Features 

GENERATION BUY With spending money to bum, the offspring of baby boomers make savry, 

optimistic consumers, creating and killing trends almost overnight Go 

Bill Hendrick 

CZ) 

GJ 

~ 

06/28/1999 co 

The Atlanta Constitution p 

Home ~ 

Page B; 1 ~O 

(Copyright, The Atlanta Journal and Constitution - 1999) 

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Strolling at nearly a jogger's pace down the corridors of Perimeter Mall, Cade Grisham busts a Larry with 

his friend Chris Barry, heading to the shirt racks in Abercrombie & Fitch, an upscale shop whose earsplitting 

music, bright lights and young sales staff attracts teenagers like bugs to candles . 

"Cool," says Cade as the two plop down on a plump couch to plot strategy . "Yeah, but expensive," Chris 

responds, as other chattering teens wander in and out, gently touching garments and placing them back 

respectfully onto neat stacks . 

Cade and Chris are 16-year-olds from Cobb County . They're among the core of what is known as 

Generation Y, the offspring of baby boomers . These are kids who wouldn't be caught dead in the tattered, 

tacky, tie-dyed garb their nonconformist parents wore as marks of rebellion . 

Rebellion doesn't really fit Gen Y. Coming of age during the prosperous, peaceful 1990s, it's the richest, 

savviest, most optimistic generation ever, marketers who study it say . And the biggest-spending one, too . 

The teenage Gen Y'er spends, on the average, nearly $84 a week . 

Goodbye, Gen X slackers ; hello, Gen Am-Ex . 

That spending, combined with Gen Y's sheer size -- there are 31 million American teenagers now, and 

the number will continue to grow until 2010 --- means Gen Y is capable of creating and killing trends 

almost ovemight, says Michael Wood, director of research for Teenage Research Unlimited in Chicago, 

one of the many think tanks that have popped up like pimples to help retailers rake in their share from 

teenagers' deep pockets . 

That's why it's critical for stores such as Abercrombie to "have a cool feel," Wood says . Stores turn up the 

music and stay attuned to the fickle, flexible minds of kids, who can turn a hot item cold almost overnight . 

Take baggy jeans . A year ago they were so hot that retailers couldn't get them fast enough . Now many 

stores are stuck with jeans that won't sell even on sale . 

Even Nike, the once-dominant sneaker brand, is now barely ahead of once-forgotten Adidas in teen 

popularity. 

And beware, Gap : "I think Gap stuff has fizzled out " says Anita Kim, an 18-year-old Emory University 

freshman, fingering a rainbow of pastel shirts at Gadzooks, a chain that's growing in popularity . 

"Gadzooks is more trendy . More cool. Cheaper." 

To grab, hold and increase their share of this ever-changing market, businesses have to hop to be hip, to 

shift their focus away from aging baby boomers, says economist Charlie Carter of Clark Atlanta 

University. They need to employ people who speak the lingo, knowing, for example, that to "bust a Larry" 

means to turn left, that to "hang" means to relax, and that "sup" can mean anything from "what's new?" to 

"what are you doing tonight?" says Carter. 

"Generation Y's parents dominated culture for several decades," Wood says . "Gen Y will dominate the 

next few decades, so it's critical that we know more about them, what they think, what they want to do and 

where they want to go ." 

In broad terms, Gen Y is more entrepreneurial and upbeat about the future than its predecessors, the 

more cynical and less numerous Generation X'ers. And definitely into shopping . Teenage Research 

Unlimited says the average teenager visits a mall 54 times a year, compared with 39 for other shoppers . 

But teenagers are somewhat thoughtful shoppers . They don't generally spend on whims but save money 

for compact discs, videos and movies, says Irma Zandl of the New York-based Zandl Group . As 

shoppers, they have a powerful tool that previous generations didn't the Internet . Most Gen Y'ers have 

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Michttel Popkin 

August 4,1999 

access to the World Wide Web, using it to browse and buy . 

"We're price-conscious," declares Laura Hay, 18, a Dunwoody High School graduate who's headed for 

the Pratt Art Institute in Brooklyn, N .Y. "Most kids our age work ." 

Dunwoody High freshman Alaina Johns, 14, browsing in American Eagle, says, "Whenever I need 

something, I get it. But I also baby-sit and save ." 

Sarah Keller, a 14-year-old freshman at Centennial High in north Fulton, insists that she's a frugal 

shopper. 

"You can get CDs cheaper at other places than the mall," she says . "I'd never buy them here." 

Adds friend Amanda Feldman, 14, also a Dunwoody freshman : "I baby-sit and save . If I want something 

and it's expensive, my parents will split the cost . But I don't get stuff just because I want it ." 

Lots of youngsters who look as if they're shopping might not be . In a recent poll, Teen Research Unlimited 

found that 87 percent of Gen Y'ers go to malls to shop, but 73 percent also go just to hang out . 

Between yelps of "yes" and "awwright" as he furiously pushes buttons on a video game at Perimeter's Tilt 

arcade, Chris Williams, 13, says he goes to malls mainly to be with friends. 

But he has also managed to acquire the right clothes . He looks like a model for a Tommy Hilfiger ad . He's 

also into the FUBU and Zonz brands . "I have enough money to keep me happy," he grins . 

Where does the money come from? A lot of it comes from parents . 

The booming economy has filled the pockets of many baby boomers, many of whom are easy marks 

when their kids open their palms, says Dr . Michael Popkin , an Atlanta child psychologist . He urges 

parents to avoid giving in too easily . 

But it's not solely boomer affluence that's responsible for the Gen Y spending spree . Guilt is another 

factor . 

"It's time poverty," says economist Jeffrey Humphreys of the University of Georgia . "Parents have money, 

and in more than 50 percent of marriages both partners work . And parents who're divorced or single try to 

offset guilt by giving money when asked ." 

Page Morgan, 42, says she feels that she's spoiling her two sons, "but I absolutely can't help it ." Both she 

and her husband work and are often too exhausted to devote as much time to their children as they would 

like. 

"The reason I work as hard as I do is so I can give my children more," says Morgan, a real estate agent in 

Marietta . But she says, "I worry we're not teaching them how to appreciate a dollar ." 

Gen Y'ers' money also comes from the ambitious teens' jobs . According to Teenage Research Unlimited, co 

55 percent of Gen Y'ers get at least some of their money from their parents on an as-needed basis, 47 O 

percent get it from odd jobs, 44 percent get it from gifts, 30 percent get it from part-time jobs, 28 percent W 

get it from allowances and 12 percent get it from full-time jobs. ~ Co 

Of course, if the economy tums sour, some of those sources will start to run dry . Which is sure to throw ~ 

thr? hPn Y shnnninn r.adfure fnr a Innn fV 

"There may be a rude awakening," says Clark Atlanta's Carter . "The savings rate is lower than it's been 

since the Depression . Personal debt is at an all-time high, and so is credit card debt and bankruptcies . 

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They can only keep spending as long as good times roll ." 

Photo The mall as hangout : In the booming '90s, teenagers are more fashion-conscious than ever . Above, 

Alaina Johns of Dunwoody and Amy Hebling of Illinois shop at the Limited in Perimeter Mall . / PHIL 

SKINNER / Staff Photo At top, Rodney Bryant watches as Anthony Harris and Chris Williams play video 

games at the Tilt arcade . / PHIL SKINNER / Staff Graphic COOLEST BRANDS AMONG TEENS 1 . Nike 

2 . Adidas 3 . Tommy Hilfiger 4 . Sony 5 . Nintendo 6. The Gap 7 . Old Navy 8 . Abercrombie & Fitch 9 . JNCO 

clothing 10 . Levi's 11 . FUBU 12. Coca-Cola 13 . Calvin Klein 14. Cover Girl 15 . Pepsi 16 . Ralph Lauren 

17 . Clinique 18. Mudd Jeans 19 . Nautica 20 . Reebok 21 . Ford 22 . Skechers 2,044 teenagers nationwide 

(ages 12-19) were asked, "Thinking about brand names of clothes, food, drinks, shoes, cosmetics, video 

games, cars, audio/video products, etc ., write in which are the three'coolest' brands ." The rankings are 

based on their responses . Source : Teenage Marketing & Lifestyle Update, Spring 1999, by Teenage 

Research Unlimited, a Chicago-based marketing research firm 

Copyright ©1999 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. Al/ Rights Reserved. 

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Michael Popkin

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