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The first time my girlfriend walked into my dorm room, almost two years ago, she<br />

sized up the place as only a socially active, dating female could. Unmade bed, dirty<br />

clothes and old assignments scattered all over the floor, cartoon and movie posters<br />

thrown haphazardly along the walls, a veritable rat’s nest of wires on the desk where<br />

the <strong>com</strong>puter was ... check, check, check.<br />

But there, sitting in the middle of the room next to my PlayStation 2, was the single<br />

biggest risk to my dating gambit: namely, my massive MAS Systems arcade stick.<br />

Weighing in at probably around five pounds of pure phallic hardware, the stick had<br />

the unnatural ability to demand the attention of anyone and everyone it encountered,<br />

regardless of race, gender, creed or any of that fun stuff. I knew, as any savvy<br />

gaming male ought to know, the presence of the stick alone could be enough to<br />

remove me from the pool of date-able males, and relegate me solidly into the Friend<br />

Zone, regardless of how suave and seductive I might have been on the night that I<br />

met her.<br />

I will spare you the details of the encounter, dear Reader; suffice to say that my years<br />

of Street Fighter worked their delicate back-and-forth magic, and we’re still together.<br />

All three of us.

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