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7 Your own life ‘People say, “How’s the baby doing?” And I want to say, “Well she’s OK, but do you want to know how I’m feeling?” ’ ‘I’m totally knackered, but I wouldn't give them back for anything!’ ‘I suppose I’d thought that having a kid wouldn’t change that much for me. Obviously it was going to make a difference financially, with Linda giving up work. Apart from that, I’d thought it was Linda’s life that was going to change and that I’d be going on much the same as before. Who was I kidding?’ (A FATHER) Becoming a parent changes your life. Suddenly there seems to be no time for you, for the things you like to do, for quiet moments with your partner or with friends. Sometimes you may feel that there isn’t even any time for the basic things in life like eating and sleeping. But if you don’t give yourself some time and consideration, your batteries will soon be used up and you simply won’t have the energy to make a good job of being a parent. This section is for you. YOUR BODY AFTER CHILDBIRTH Having a baby changes your body. You may not like the changes, or you may enjoy feeling different, ‘more like a mother’. If you like the way you are, don’t let other people tell you differently. If you feel uncomfortable with your body, you’ll want to make some changes. Some things will never be quite the same again – for example, stretch marks will fade, but won’t ever go away completely. Other changes need not be permanent. A saggy tummy can be tightened up with exercise, and weight gain will gradually drop off if you eat and exercise sensibly. But don’t expect this to happen overnight. It took nine months to make a baby. Give yourself at least that long to get back into shape again – and it may take longer. In the meantime, give your body some little treats to cheer you up. For example, if it makes you feel good to paint your toenails, then make time to do it. Maybe for you that’s even more important than 20 minutes extra sleep. 120
Your own life P HYSICAL PROBLEMS A lot of women have physical problems, either as a result of labour and birth, or because of the kind of work involved in caring for young children, or both. Problems like some sort of infection that keeps coming back, back pain, a leaky bladder and painful intercourse are more common than people think. HELPING YOURSELF For some problems you can do a lot to help yourself. The muscles around your bladder, vagina and back passage (the perineum) may be weak and that could be part of the reason for the ‘falling out’ feeling or leaky bladder that many women describe. Pelvic floor exercises can help. A bad back can also be helped by exercise, and by learning to use your back carefully. Pelvic floor exercise The muscles of the pelvic floor form a hammock underneath the pelvis to support the bladder, womb and bowel. You use these muscles when you pass water, empty your bowels and when you make love. Often they’re stretched during pregnancy, labour and birth. If you can improve their strength and function you’re less likely to have a leaky bladder and more likely to enjoy intercourse. You can do this exercise either sitting or standing, when you’re washing up, queuing in the supermarket, watching television – anywhere. • Squeeze and draw in your back passage at the same time. Close up and draw in your vagina (front passage) upwards. • Do this exercise quickly – tightening and releasing the muscles immediately; • then do the exercise slowly, holding the contractions for as long as you can (not more than ten seconds) before you relax; • repeat both exercises ten times four–six times a day. It helps to imagine you’re stopping a bowel movement, holding in a tampon, stopping yourself passing water. In fact, the best way to find the muscles is to try stopping and starting (or slowing down) the flow of urine while you’re on the toilet. Deep stomach exercise This exercise helps to firm your stomach. (If a gap or bulge line appears vertically down the centre of your stomach, you should ask your physiotherapist for special exercises.) • Lie on your side with your knees slightly bent; • let your tummy sag and breathe in gently; • as you breathe out, gently draw in the lower part of your stomach like a corset, narrowing your waistline; • squeeze your pelvic floor also; • hold for the count of 10 then gently release; POSTNATAL • repeat 10 times. CHECK Don’t be so busy looking after your baby that you forget to go for your postnatal check at around six–eight weeks. This is an opportunity for you to talk to your doctor about any health problems following delivery, such as perineal pain or pain following episiotomy, backache, piles, incontinence, etc. It is also an opportunity to talk about how you are feeling, for example, if you are feeling low or depressed, and also to talk about family planning if you wish. DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS (DVT) DVT is a serious condition where clots develop in the deep veins of the legs. It can be fatal if the clot travels from the legs to the lungs. Flights lasting over five hours where you sit still for a long time may increase the risk. Pregnant women and women who have recently had a baby are amongst those more at risk, so if you intend to travel by air, it is important that you consult your GP or health visitor before the trip. You may need advice on in-seat exercises to keep the circulation active. If you do develop swollen, painful legs or have breathing difficulties after the trip, see a doctor urgently or go to the nearest Accident and Emergency department. More information on DVT and travel can be found by searching for DVT on www.dh.gov.uk and www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk 121
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Birth five to This book gives you a
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Birth five to Your complete guide t
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1 The first weeks There’s somethi
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The first weeks SCREENING AT A GLAN
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The first weeks B REASTFEEDING Brea
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The first weeks 2 Be patient… Sta
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The first weeks Allow your baby to
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The first weeks USING BREAST PUMPS
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The first weeks STERILISING All the
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The first weeks Follow the manufact
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The first weeks S LEEPING Some babi
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• When you check your baby, if he
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The first weeks If you’re finding
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The first weeks NAPPY RASH Most bab
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The first weeks WASHING AND BATHING
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The first weeks T WINS ( OR MORE) P
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YEARS MONTHS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2
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How your child will grow • Walk o
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How your child will grow BRUSHING Y
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How your child will grow HEIGHT AND
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How your child will grow You should
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3 Learning and playing What we call
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Learning and playing I DEAS FOR PLA
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Learning and playing H OW TO MAKE S
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Learning and playing TRANSITION FRO
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Learning and playing MAKING CHILDCA
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4 Habits and behaviour There are so
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Habits and behaviour PROBLEMS WITH
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Habits and behaviour • By twelve
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Habits and behaviour A NEW BABY IN
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Habits and behaviour • Sometimes
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Habits and behaviour time he or she
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Habits and behaviour out to buy one
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5 Feeding your child Food is one of
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Feeding your child - push the bowl
Page 71 and 72: Feeding your child ALLERGIES Babies
Page 73 and 74: Make sure you give them full-fat da
Page 75 and 76: Feeding your child • Squashes, fi
Page 77 and 78: Feeding your child Fruit and vegeta
Page 79 and 80: Feeding your child ‘When you go s
Page 81 and 82: Feeding your child Types of vegetar
Page 83 and 84: Feeding your child Sugar Most young
Page 85 and 86: Feeding your child F OOD SAFETY You
Page 87 and 88: Feeding your child • If your chil
Page 89 and 90: 6 Illness and accidents Every child
Page 91 and 92: Illness and accidents ● ● ●
Page 93 and 94: Illness and accidents smoking or en
Page 95 and 96: Illness and accidents D IARRHOEA YO
Page 97 and 98: Illness and accidents ● ● ●
Page 99 and 100: Illness and accidents Alternative t
Page 101 and 102: Illness and accidents thermometer.
Page 103 and 104: Illness and accidents ILLNESS INFEC
Page 105 and 106: Illness and accidents Are some babi
Page 107 and 108: Illness and accidents irritable, an
Page 109 and 110: Illness and accidents become a carr
Page 111 and 112: Illness and accidents ❑ ❑ ❑
Page 113 and 114: Illness and accidents Danger - stra
Page 115 and 116: Illness and accidents IF YOUR CHILD
Page 117 and 118: Illness and accidents 3 Tilt the he
Page 119 and 120: Illness and accidents THINGS STUCK
Page 121: Illness and accidents W HEN A CHILD
Page 125 and 126: Your own life visitor about other l
Page 127 and 128: Your own life Stress also comes fro
Page 129 and 130: Your own life • Share the housewo
Page 131 and 132: Your own life • Suggest a regular
Page 133 and 134: 8 Your services There is a wide ran
Page 135 and 136: Your services H OW TO CHANGE YOUR G
Page 137 and 138: make. The money cannot be taken out
Page 139 and 140: Your rights and benefits of childca
Page 141 and 142: Your rights and benefits child’s
Page 143 and 144: Your rights and benefits INCAPACITY
Page 145 and 146: Your rights and benefits you work p
Page 147 and 148: Your rights and benefits HOUSING BE
Page 149 and 150: USEFUL ORGANISATIONS Some of these
Page 151 and 152: Coeliac Society of the United Kingd
Page 153 and 154: INDEX A accidents 108-18 additives
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