Week IV

W
e're back with Baby Doll. And wasn't it nifty that we didn't get rained out after
all? We had some sprinkles
last night, but the fields
should be nice and dry by tomorrow.
So there was some kickball thing at
the Draft last Friday night. Black
Eyed Peas did make an appearance on
the video playlist, but otherwise
the Midseason Party was, well, a
great big party. There was a lot
of beer, a lot of girly shots that
tasted like Sprite, lemonade, and
vodka (yes, Virginia, even I had a
couple), probably a lot of less
girly shots, certainly a lot more
beer, beer pong, flip cup, Piglet
ears, and about three hours of what
sounded like the same song! Thanks
to everyone (and that's a lot of
everyones) who came out, and
special thanks to Erika, Tim, and
Ariana for making it happen, to
Celina for taking half a squintillion photos of it, and especially to Tom for special
pitcher-procuring services!
That very same Mr. Thomas Martinez, Inflatable Party Sheep captain and all-around nice
guy, also just happens to be the division's Director of Matters Financial (a.k.a. the
Mullah of Moolah; Treasurer for short). He's
good with numbers. He's good with beer. He's
been on a bunch of different kickball teams,
including Star's very first division champions,
the Valley Girls Girls Girls of Summer 2009, and,
once upon a time, in a division far, far away
(Victory, in Van Nuys), the very first
incarnation of Star's most recent division
champions, Piglet's Revenge. Hey! The pattern
suggests that the Party Sheep should win the
championship this season! If you can find Dr.
Nick, he'd probably give you crazy odds on that
happening (plus a diatribe on kickball-related
self-delusion and a dose of something venereal),
and then you could make a fortune in government
cheese and PBR empties!
Reminders:
! Umping is not an easy job, and everyone who
volunteers to take it on deserves respect and
cooperation. There is, however, some
responsibility involved. When your team is
scheduled to umpire, you should be able to
provide three people prepared to referee. If
you are going to ref, you must be familiar
with the rules. No one expects every call to
be perfect, but everybody should expect every
umpire to follow the same guidelines, pay attention, and do the best he or she can.
Since the Head Umpire has the final authority during a game, and his rulings cannot be
overturned once the game ends, even if he was completely wrong, it is especially
needful to make those rulings as consistently and as accurately as possible.
That said, at the end of the game, no matter how dreadful the umps are, the team with
the most runs wins, so score more runs than the other team.

And do not fuck with the umps. Not ever.
! Dandy Lions, Kicking Puppies, and Inflatable Party Sheep will be bringing the bags.
o Please have the bags on the fields by 7:30!
! Your Mon's Team, Bad News Borrachos, I'd Hit It, Inflatable Party Sheep, Kicking
Puppies, and Dandy Lions will be umping.
o Please be sure that the captains have RPSed for Home or Away before game time.
o YMT, BNB and IHI: please be sure the fields are set up at 8:00 (or sooner, if
possible).
! Bro's B4 NoHo's, Rick Rollers, and Stanky LeggZ will be taking the bags.
! Captains: please do not forget to send in your scores. The sooner we get them, the
sooner we can update the standings on the division website. Immediately after your
game is good, but please get them to me by noon Friday at the absolute latest.
Upcoming Dates:
! THIS Thursday, April 29 th : Team Theme Photo Night! Be at the park at 7:15 to get your
team picture taken! StarBalls and Base Invaders, too!
! Thursday, May 20 th : Star Wars, the Charity Event!
! Saturday, June 12 th : End-of-Season Party!
Pax out!
love,
Cami
P.S. Happy birthday to TJ Jackson and Tom Martinez! Happy birthday also to Star vet
Chris Hutchings, who originally designed our starry-eyed smoking gopher logo!
P.P.S. This newsletter is dedicated to Nicole Musselman, Kris Mecenas, and the complete
stranger who asked me for 75¢ to play the golf game at the Midseason Party.

Seven Descents of Myrtle
BNB Bad News Borrachos 2.0
BRO
Bro's B4 NoHo's
IHI
I'd Hit It
RRO
Rick Rollers
SLZ
Stanky LeggZ
SUS
StarBalls…
YMT
Your Mom's Team
BAS
BLA
DAN
IPS
KPU
PIG
TAW
The Glass Menagerie
Base Invaders
Black to the Future
The Dandy Lions
Inflatable Party Sheep
Kicking Puppies
Piglet's Revenge
Team Awesome!
W EEK IV 22 APRIL Ump Bag
North SLZ 4 YMT 0 BAS
8:00 South SUS 0 IHI 2 PIG
Grass BRO 2 BNB 6 TAW
North BAS 0 DAN 13 SLZ DAN
9:00 South PIG 8 KPU 1 SUS KPU
Grass TAW 1 IPS 4 BRO IPS
Bye BLA RRO
W EEK V 29 APRIL Ump Bag
North IPS BLA YMT
8:00 South KPU TAW BNB
Grass DAN PIG IHI
North YMT BRO IPS BRO
9:00 South BNB RRO KPU RRO
Grass IHI SLZ DAN SLZ
Bye SUS BAS
T EAM W L T GF PF P TS. GP P CT. RS RA S TR.
PIG 4 0 0 0 0 4.0 4 1.000 31 3 W4
DAN 3 0 0 0 0 3.0 3 1.000 22 4 W3
SLZ 3 0 1 0 0 3.5 4 .875 14 9 W2
RRO 2 0 1 0 0 2.5 3 .833 16 8 (W1)
BNB 3 1 0 0 0 3.0 4 .750 20 9 W1
IPS 2 2 0 0 0 2.0 4 .500 17 20 W1
IHI 1 1 1 0 0 1.5 3 .500 5 4 W1
TAW 1 2 0 0 0 1.0 3 .333 9 11 L1
BLA 1 2 0 0 0 1.0 3 .333 15 13 (L2)
SUS 1 3 0 0 0 1.0 4 .250 8 20 L1
BAS 1 3 0 0 0 1.0 4 .250 5 36 L1
YMT 0 2 1 0 0 0.5 3 .167 2 10 L2
BRO 0 3 0 0 0 0.0 3 .000 6 12 L3
KPU 0 3 0 0 0 0.0 3 .000 4 16 L3
W = Wins (1); L = Losses (0); T = Ties (.5); GF = Game Forfeits (-.75 [GF also incurs a 5-0
Loss]); PF = Paper Forfeits (-.75 [PF does NOT incur a Loss]); Pts. = W-L-T-F weight; GP = Games
Played; Pct. = Pts./GP; RS = Runs Scored; RA = Runs Allowed; Str. = Current Streak.
Teams with three or more forfeits of any kind are disqualified from playoffs. Don't forfeit!
Standings are determined by Pct. > Head-to-Head > W > RA, and may look weird while GP varies.
Note that standings will not be decisive until all teams have completed eight games.

On Bases, Baselines, and Base Running
10.01 Runners must stay within the baseline. Any runner outside the baseline is out (see
Rule 14.02k):
a. Runners may choose their path from one base to the next, and may follow a natural
running arc;
b. Runners are free to change course to avoid interference with a fielder making a play;
c. When attempting to avoid a ball tag, runners may move no more than 4 feet out of their
established path.
10.02 Obstruction. Fielders must stay out of the baseline. Fielders trying to make an
out on base may have their foot on base, but must lean out of the baseline. Runners
hindered by any fielder within the baseline, not making an active play for the ball,
shall be safe at the base to which they were running. Runners may choose to advance
beyond this base while the ball is still in play.
Q: What advice can you give to Referees on the correct application of Obstruction
calls (Rule 10.02) and Baseline violations (Rule 10.01)?
A:
! Remember that the baseline is not always a straight line between two bases, but
is determined by the route the runner takes.
! A fielder possessing or actively receiving the ball cannot be guilty of
Obstruction.
! Neither type of infraction immediately ends the play, though they can be called
after the conclusion of the play.
! Runners that choose to advance beyond an awarded base while the play is still in
progress do so at their own risk.
! Refs may award an additional base beyond the one the runner is obstructed from
reaching, if the Ref feels that deliberate and unsportsmanlike Obstruction alone
has prevented an uncontested advance.
10.03 Neither leading off base, nor stealing a base is allowed. A runner may advance
once the ball is kicked. A runner off base when the ball is kicked is out (see Rule
14.02g).
10.04 Hitting a runner’s neck or head with the ball is not allowed, except when the
runner is sliding. Any runner hit in the neck or head is safe, and advances to the base
they were running toward when the ball hits the runner. If the runner intentionally uses
the head or neck to block the ball, and is so called by the Referee, the runner is out.
10.05 A tag-up is a requirement to retouch or stay on a base until a kicked then caught
ball is first touched by a fielder. After a tag-up a runner may advance. A runner
failing to tag-up as required is out (see Rule 14.02f).
Q: At what point may a runner “tag up” to advance on a caught ball?
A: The runner may tag up as of the moment the kicked ball is first touched by any
fielder (10.05).
Q: When a runner misses a base, or leaves base on a caught ball before it is first
touched, and the play ends without the runner returning to retouch the base, or
without the fielding team putting the runner out, should the fielding team "appeal"
the play by holding the ball at the missed or vacated base once the play is
concluded?
A: No. After the play has concluded, any Ref that witnessed a runner miss a base or
leave one prematurely may call the runner out at that time, without the formality
of appeal (see Rules 10.05, 14.02f, l, and m). Any Out so called is applied as of
the end of the play.
Note that any runner leaving a base before a pitched ball is kicked is immediately
out (see Rules 10.03 and 14.02g).

Q: When a runner is called out after a play for missing a base (see Rule 14.02l) or
failing to tag up (see Rule 14.02m), and that is the 3rd out of an inning, does the
call nullify any runs that scored on the play?
A: These outs are applied as of the end of the play, therefore:
- On failed tag-ups: the run is nullified only if it was the scoring runner that
failed to tag up.
- On missed bases: the run is nullified only if it was the scoring runner that
missed a base, OR if the runner that missed the base was in a force situation
compelling them to reach the missed base. [Example: if a kicker never touches first
base, no runners on base may score (see Rule 10.09).]
10.06 All ties will go to the runner. Runners traveling from home plate may overrun first
base, and may only be tagged out if actively attempting to advance to second base.
Q: Can a kicker who overruns first base be tagged out if they turn to the left?
A: An idle left turn that still brings them directly back to first base does NOT
constitute an active attempt to advance per 10.06. However, even the slightest
deliberate move towards second base would allow the runner to be tagged out.
10.07 Base Running on Overthrows;
a. an overthrow is a ball thrown, kicked, or deflected into foul territory while making
a defensive play toward a player or base;
Q: Overthrows – if a fielder tries to catch a kicked ball but fails, deflecting the
ball into foul territory, is that an “overthrow” that restricts the runners?
A: No – Rule 10.07a defines an overthrow as “a ball thrown, kicked, or deflected
into foul territory while making a defensive play toward a player or base;” –
therefore a misplayed catch of a ball directly off the kicker’s foot does not
qualify, since it is not a defensive play towards a player or base. Similarly, an
attempted defensive play that sails into center field does not restrict the runners
either, since the ball has not entered foul territory.
b. a runner may advance only one base beyond the base the runner is on or running toward
when the ball travels into foul territory;
Q: If a kicker/runner safely overruns first base, and the ball is then overthrown,
how far may that kicker/runner advance?
A: Overrunning first base is NOT equivalent to “running toward” second base (see
Rule 10.07b), and therefore the kicker/runner would be limited to second base. The
kicker/runner is permitted to attempt an advance to third base only if the
kicker/runner had started an active attempt to reach second base (see Rule 10.06)
before the ball was overthrown.
c. one base on an overthrow is a restriction on the runner – not an automatic right for
the runner to advance;
d. if any fielder attempts to make an out prior to returning the ball to the pitcher,
runners may commence base running.
10.08 Running past another runner is not allowed. The passing runner is out (see Rule
14.02j).
10.09 A run scores when a runner touches home plate before the third out is made, EXCEPT
that no run can score when the third out is made during a force play situation, or when
the kicker is put out before touching first base. At the end of a game the team with the
most runs wins.
Q: Can you define “Force play situation” (see Rule 10.09)?
A: When a kicker puts a ball fairly in play and becomes a runner, this “forces” any
runner on the base immediately ahead of the kicker to advance, as it does any
runner on the base immediately ahead of a forced runner. Runners so forced are no
longer safe on the base they originally occupied, until and unless a runner or
kicker behind them is put out.

Note that a runner’s requirement to tag up before advancing on a caught ball
(10.05) does not constitute a “force” in this sense. When the 3rd out of an inning
is made on a runner failing to tag up, that does NOT nullify any runs scored on the
play prior to the out being made, unless it was the scoring runner put out in this
fashion.
10.10 When a base is displaced during play, any runner is safe while in contact with the
base's original and correct location. All displaced bases should be restored at the end
of each play (see Rule 1.01b).
Q&A ganked from the extremely helpful Rules FAQ. Any grammatical disasters are WAKA's.
Stanky LeggZ 4 – Your Mom's Team 0

Your Mom took a trip to Stanky town…
Your Mom’s Team showcased their defensive skills with Trey P.
locking it down on third—putting him in the running for Peg
King.
Your Mom put up a fight, but at the end of the day, the LeggZ'
fierce practice kicks and veteran moves got the win. All the
same—way to Shakeys things up.
Your Mom heard: “Hey Da’bomb, what’s up?”
Crow’s Kick of the Week: The Reach Around
Nicole
YMT
I'd Hit It 2 - StarBalls…The Umpire Strikes Back 0
[I'd Hit It has assured me (twice) that they will never provide a logo, a recap, or
photos for the newsletter. So we're just going to ignore them for the rest of the
season, too.]
Bad News Borrachos 6 – Bro's B4 NoHo's 2
When you think Borrachos vs. Bro’s, you might as well be
thinking Coke vs. Pepsi or Tyson vs. Holyfield…
It turned out to be more along the lines of Coyote vs.
Roadrunner, with the Borrachos dominating the Bro’s from the
first inning right on down to the last, giving us a 6-2 win, AND
IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!!!!
What was at stake? A plethora of goodies!!
1 st AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: Bragging rights!!!
2 nd and slightly less important: Silencing Kris, who will
be wearing a pacifier to this week’s game (Your Mom's Team

can thank us later).
3 rd : BEER. A nice frosty 30 pack to add to our collection…
We would like to thank the Bro’s for being good sports and for playing a great game!!
We’d very much like to thank Team Awesome for umping; it was very much appreciated!!
Jen
BNB

Dandy Lions 13 – Base Invaders 0
[I'm not sure if these two (or even either one of them, for that matter) are actually
Dandy Lions, but they are now.]
Let's see... Base Invaders 0. Dandy Lions 13. We invaded no
bases.
Lions and Errors and Beer... OH MY!
After falling behind 7-0 in the first inning...yeah, that's not
a typo...and after being offered an insulting (however polite
it's supposed to be) mercy surrender in the bottom of the fourth
inning after allowing six more runs, the Base Evaders put their
egos aside and decided to get R.O.W.D.Y. Yelling, screaming,
and jumping on the fences. Laughing and kicking, and letting
the good times roll. And by roll, I mean the super stealth,
sneaky army, invader roll by Dirck on his way to first. And,
for those keeping track, that would be the second time Dirck has
done some acrobatic stunt during a game. Giving new meaning to Dirck the hurt. :)
In the end, the lions were the king of the jungle gym and the pitcher of beer was dandy
indeed.
Erika
BAS
PS. Not sure if STAR is keeping track of this stat, but we may have a shot at being the
team that has had the most beer purchased FOR them. That, my friends, is no small feat.
That takes dedication, dammit.
Beware the Invasion! No really.

Piglet's Revenge 8 – Kicking Puppies 1
Piglet's Revenge displayed great teamwork last Thursday against
the Kicking
Puppies.
On offense,
we got on
base
throughout
the game
with wellplaced
bunts
and line
drives. Sophia, Jeff, and
Arno advanced the runners
like clockwork. Corey
brought in two runs in
the first inning. Yay
Corey! We scored three
runs in the first, had
bases loaded in the
second inning, and then
scored five runs in the
third. Although we
managed to get on base
during the last two
innings we weren't
able to bring our
runners home.
On defense, Tyler and
Jojo were aggressive
on the mound, making
it hard for the
Puppies to get on base. There
were also several great catches and
plays while fielding. Two catches that come to
mind are: Brandon sprinting from the kicking box, launching

himself in the air, catching the ball, and rolling with it. AMAZING! My description does
not do it justice... Another awesome example was Leah's solid catch of a pop fly towards
second base. Great job Piglets!!!
Thank you Kicking Puppies for a fun game! Roy, you have mad base running skills.
Final score: Piglet's Revenge 8, Kicking Puppies 1. Next week we play The Dandy Lions.
Oink!
Faun
PIG
Inflatable Party Sheep 4 – Team Awesome! 1
Not much to say about this game except that we will forever
erase the second inning from our memories. What happened that
inning stays in that inning.
Highlights of the game: Adam brought in a run, Jason almost fell
on his ass, a Sheep tried to get to second base between Katie's
legs, * and Eliot baked us brownies. No, not those kind of
brownies.
*
I believe that was Tim.

Now for the important recap: the Mid-Season
Party. To all those teams who are bitter
that The Draft waitress (Raquel) was wearing
our shirt, please be nice to her. Her
endorsement may be due to our ability to pay
our bill correctly, the fact that we tip well,
or maybe we just smell like magic and Skittles.
Or it could have to do with the fact that we are raging alcoholics who spend more time at
the bar than we do playing kickball, and she really likes purple and unicorns. I think
it's the Skittles.
Kristie
TAW
socks.
Team Awesome! beat us
6-0 when we met them
last season, so we
were,
perhaps
unsurprisingly,
expected to lose again—
and lose big—this time
around. Probably that
also had something to
do with the drubbing
we'd taken the week
before, courtesy of the
other team in pink
We didn't lose, though.
As Tom put it, we did everything we completely
failed to do in the Piglets game, like catching,
throwing, kicking, and running. It's all about
the little things.
Highlights include Drew T.'s two-run sac and
Tim's breathtakingly big catch out in the middle
of nowhere. Chris made some glorious snaps to
first and second, and took some glorious snaps at

first himself, and Patrick was all
over the ball. Drew P.'s gameending,
god-is-my-radar, off-thefingertips-and-backagain
snag in deep
left field was a thing of sheer beauty.
And me, I like adjectives.
But besides our long-awaited Awesome! redemption, over and above completely rocking
"Aqualung" (with a little help from a Base Invader—and special thanks to the Dandy Lions
who led us to think of Jethro Tull in the first place) at the Draft, and even beyond

winning at least a couple rounds of Flip Cup at the Midseason Party, there was Tim at the
US Air Guitar LA regionals at the Troubadour on Saturday. And there were a lot of both
Sheep and Piglets in the 6 String Army.
Thanks to Team Awesome! for a great game, and to the Bro's for umping.
Baaa!
Cami
IPS
Black to the Future - Bye
Many of you
have probably
seen Black to
the Future's
Adam Wylie
perform many
of his magic
tricks at
the
bar…yeah,
well, he's for real. Our team decided
to meet up with him and fellow
players at the Magic Castle to see
him perform! Drinks were had, songs
were requested to a ghost who played
them for us and magic happened! What a
great time! So what did you do on your BYE week?
Yeah we went to The Magic Castle!
After an event at work that most of Black to the Future had to
attend went haywire, the team decided to leave and do something
much more fun:
VISIT THE MAGIC CASTLE!
Robert
BLA
If you've got a game recap, or photos, if there is a rule you would like clarified, or
anything else you'd like to see in the newsletter (besides advertising), please send it
in by 11:59 PM on Mondays. If you'd like a weekly deadline reminder by email, let me
know. Also: please SPELL OUT NUMBERS, cardinal or ordinal, everywhere except in the
score.
The RULES! The Division Website! The BAR! The CHARITY!
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