Issue#6 - World Adult Kickball Association

GHOST MAN ON THIRD
FLORIDA STINGRAY DIVISION SPRING 2013—ISSUE 7

DA BIDNESS
GMOT STAFF
WAKA Stingray Division
Customer Service Rep:
Corey “MF” Myers
Photographer
Erika Abraham
GMOT Designer:
Kate Grodesky
CONTENTS
SERIOUS
PAGE
You are here
FIELD LAYOUT 3
WEEK 5 RESULTS 4
WEEK 6 SCHEDULE 5
POWER RANKINGS 6
THEMES AND CONTESTS 7
SPOTLIGHTS
Rookie of the Week 8
Veteran of the Week 9
WEEK 6 HIGHLIGHTS 10
AFTER PARTY INFO 11
THERE’S NO RULES!... WAIT YES THERE IS!
Presented by Corey “MF” Myers
Our playing fields are run by the First Coast Soccer Association so we need to pay close
attention to their rules to ensure we will have fields to play on for the season.
Pets:
Pets are not allowed at the park. Please make plans to keep your
pets at home or we will have to ask you and your pet to leave.
Beverages:
Alcoholic beverage containers are not allowed at the park at any time, this includes
the fields & parking lots. No glass containers or bottles of any kind are allowed on
the fields. Coolers, Funnels, Kegs and Party Balls or anything that seems fun are not
allowed on the fields. You are required to keep all beverages in bubba kegs, thermos
bottles, solo cups, or anything that cannot be seen through. Clear colored or see
through cups are not allowed, please purchase solid colored solo cups. Anyone in violation
of the beverage policy will be asked to leave the premises and may be suspended
for the remainder of the sea son. Please do not be the guy/gal walking in
with a case of beer wrapped in a plastic bag or something. That is NOT ok.
Other Activities:
Due to general safety and liability reasons; no other sports may be played at a WAKA
permitted field just prior to or during the games. That means no tossing a football around or kicking a
soccer ball etc.
Fireworks:
Absolutely no fireworks of any kind are allowed on or near our fields. That includes Sparklers, Flame
throwers, Molotov Cocktails and anything else you can think of.
Trash:
All trash must be picked up before you leave the field. Trash cans are available throughout the
park. Your CSR will also have trash bags available as well.
Rest Rooms:
Patton Park has two restrooms at the front of the field, use it. Do not use the caveman method and do
your business in bushes or even worse in the open. You may get a ticket and we may lose the permit
to use the park!
Parking:
Park only in marked spaces or areas designated by the park. Parking on roads, on the curb, or on the
sidewalk in unmarked spots may result in a parking ticket.

NEW FIELD LAYOUT!

WEEK 6 RESULTS

WEEK 7 SCHEDULE

POWER RANKINGS
1. WAKA Shame – Have earned themselves the one spot both officially and unofficially coming into
the last week of the regular season. They’ve shamed a lot of teams this season and have some
momentum coming into the playoffs. Will they finish strong?
2. Grass Clowns – Made quick work of Snitches get Pitches. We think the game lasted all of twenty
minutes if that. This was the Grass Clowns theme week and they felt they should have won because
they have “Clown” in their name. Don’t worry we didn’t give it to them. We’ll make them
work harder than that, will their next opponent?
3. Palm Valley Pimps – They came out firing and jumped out to a 7-1 lead on Dream Crushers. The
defense slowed a bit and they let them back in it finally finishing it out 7-5. Big win for the
Pimps, they will be a playoff contender.
4. Dream Crushers – Their dreams of finishing the season undefeated
have been crushed. They lost a dog fight to the Pimps
and have officially been pimp slapped. The slap has hopefully
awakened the Crushers and they will get back to Crushing
other teams dreams come playoff time.
5. Wasians – Literally played till the lights went out last week,
beating the Kickheads 7-6 and continuing their great season.
Will they be able to post a great playoff performance
though? This team is known for having great regular seasons
and choking come playoff time. Have the times changed?
6. Kick Tease – They won three straight and have vaulted themselves
back into relevance this season. They’ve been
“Teasing” us with their wayward ways all season, acting like
they couldn’t compete. We knew it wasn’t true. They’ve finally
opened their eyes and are kicking to wins. We’ll see
how the playoffs go for this hot & cold squad.
7. Swift Kick in the Grass – The kicks were swift even in the wet grass and SKITG was able to get
plenty of runs. They did however allow the other team to score just as many and the game
ended as a tie. There are no ties in the playoffs so hopefully SKITG will be able to step up the
defense when the time comes.
8. Ball the Way Turnt Up – They’ve lost two straight but these losses were to WAKA Shame and
Dream Crushers. This is a good squad with bright tanks so we feel they may be able to pull an
upset or two come tournament time. Don’t let it be you that gets it!
10. Ballz Deep – They got crushed last week. Was it the rain? Where they short on
people? We don’t know. All we know is the final score, which we won’t disclose
here. It was bad, they are a good squad though and we feel like they
can bounce back. Time is running out though. They’ll need to get things on
track immediately.
11. Kickheads – They lost two games but they played some of the top teams and only
lost one of those games by one point. We think they are a great squad. They
just need to tighten up on D just a bit. We’ll see if they can get things going
within the next two weeks and get themselves ready for the playoffs.
12. Smack My Pitch Up – They too felt the wrath of Kick Tease last week. They
got they butt kicked too. My goodness. Their pitches were getting smacked
around like they deserved it. We won’t disclose the score of this game either.
Kick Tease is the culprit that did this to them though. We think SMPU can get
back to where they were. They’ll just need to tighten up that D a little.
13. Snitches Get Pitches – They got beat so bad they forgot they had to ref. We
understand and won’t hold this against them. The beating they received from
the Grass Clowns was punishment enough. They were at the bar getting it
though and at the end of the day that is all that matters right?
14. Kicks and Pitches – They grilled out and everything despite the hurricane
that was swirling around. They even had a margarita machine! Maybe all
this pregame magic brought home the win. Maybe next week there will be
good weather to go along with the fun.
15. Kit Shickers – Short on peoples, short on runs, and short on wins. They
started out hot and have fizzled out. What will bring that fire back? We know
they have the skill. They just need to get some peeps to show up and play
hard!
16. Don’t Come on My Base – They were using the field as their own personal slip and
slide and were loving it. They however did NOT win their game but we have a
feeling they had a blast playing anyway. Maybe they’ll get some more wins
come playoff time.
17. Saved by the Balls – Well they were close! They tied. They will get that win someday.
We swear it. Will it be this season? Will it be during the playoffs? Will it
be next season? We don’t know but we have a feeling it can and will happen.
9. Kicking it with Drunk Pitches – This new squad just keeps on winning. They are having a very solid
season so far and this is their first season playing! We think they will finish strong but we’ll
have to wait and see.

THIS WEEK!!!
WEEK 7:
FLIP CUP
TOURNAMENT

SPOTLIGHTS
Rookie of the week
Jordan Loebel—Ball the Way Turnt Up
How did you hear about WAKA?
-My Best friend, roommate, mentor, and personal trainer: MIKE PAGE
What do you think about your WAKA experience thus far?
-I don’t think, I just kick & score.
What is your favorite pre-game/post-game activity?
- Taking fireballs while listening to Lady Gaga’s album “born this way” in its entirety.
Who are some of your favorite Athletes?
- I respect the integrity of Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Tim Moore, and Juan Pablo Montoya.
What did/do you want to be when you grew/grow up?
-I want to make $500,000 a year and live paycheck to paycheck.
Relationship Status?
Single and most certainly looking. (Do not be alarmed ladies, the girl in the picture is my sister)
What are some of your other hobbies besides kickball?
Taking selfies, riding bikes, taking selfies while riding bikes (see picture), being an active member of the
#salt_life, golden retrievers, and of course Instaslam @jjloebel
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
-The Brozone Layer. It exists. Google map it.
If you won the Lotto this week, what would you do with all that money?
Continue to live paycheck to paycheck.
What was the last book you read?
- “Chicken Soup for the Hopeless Romantic’s Soul” – Jack Cranfield
What has been the most interesting Entertainment news to you within the past 12 months?
- I found out Manti Te’o was dating my Ex girlfriend.
What superpower would you want if you had a choice?
-Turning water into Fire…Ball

SPOTLIGHTS
VETERAN of the week
Brian Burns—Ball the Way Turnt Up #Turnt Up
How did you hear about WAKA?
From none other than… The Man Who Invented Drinking! Kevin Craig!
How many seasons have you played? What teams? Any championships?
Finishing up Season 7. We Beat Pitches Up, Big Swinging Kicks, Ball Me Maybe, Dream
Crushers, Balllll the Way Turnt Up. Sold my soul last season to win a ‘ship with the
Dream Crushers, however they wouldn’t allow me to wear a tank top while playing,
so it doesn’t count.
What do you think about your WAKA experience thus far?
My customized tanktop selection is to die for
Who are some of your favorite Athletes?
There’s only one. Sanka Coffee, the best push-cart driver in all of Jamaica
What did/do you want to be when you grew/grow up?
Corey Myers, Kickball Commissioner Extraordinaire
Relationship Status?
Single Father of 1… ridiculously good looking Golden Retriever
What are some of your other hobbies besides kickball?
Basketball, Philanthropy, pwning N00bz, searching for true love, dance offs
If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Shad Khans yacht in the Keys
If you won the Lotto this week, what would you do with all that money?
Save it for bailing Justin Blackmon out of jail
What was the last book you read?
The Vow, I HAD to know if it was better than the movie. (Spoiler alert: It’s not!)
What has been the most interesting Entertainment news to you within the past 12 months?
Shain Gandee. RIP.
What superpower would you want if you had a choice?
The one Mel Gibson has in “What Women Want”

“Like” WAKA Jacksonville on Facebook to see all the pictures from each week!

BAR SPECIALS:
$6 Domestic Pitchers
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$3 Kickball Shots
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