PacificSD - Pacific San Diego Magazine

voice
Rhyme Nor Reason
In a city so witty and fine, poetic magic is born online
In honor of St. Patty’s Day and that illustrious Man from Nantucket, PacificSD challenged our Facebook
friends and fans to write limericks about a far more deserving locale: San Diego.
Though their grasp of anapestic meter (we Googled it) may be a little rough, our readers gave it their
all. From silly to serious, with more than a wee hint of the profane, they mined their civic pride and wild
sides, placing America’s Finest City on the rhyming GPS.
After much contemplation (and guffaws) among our staff, Chris R. nabbed first place (and $100 in
prizes) for discovering the link between baseball and breast implants. Jon R. received $50 in prizes for his homage
to North County cougars, while Lois Lewis received an equal amount for her verse about a cannabis-pilfering
canine. For your amusement, we’re also including a few of the runner-ups.
If you didn’t win or missed the contest entirely, no sweat. PacificSD posts a new one each day, with a chance to
win awesome eats and cool treats. Get in on the action (enter as many times as you like, for free) at facebook.com/
pacificsd. The luck o’ the Irish be with ye!
HONORABLE (AND DISHONORABLE) MENTIONS
SECOND PLACE
There once was a man from Del Mar
Who had himself a very nice car
To L’Auberge he goes
With some really fine clothes
To take home another MILF from the bar.
—Jon R.
FIRST PLACE
The Padres give away their best hitters
Our zoo has the most famous critters
There’s good Mexican food
And nobody’s rude
‘Cause our wives have the best big fake-titters.
—Chris R.
THIRD PLACE
I came across a stray dog in need
While walking the streets of OB
He slept in my room
I woke up at noon
That bastard stole all of my weed.
—Lois L.
There once was a girl from North Park
Who dressed up all emo and dark
Asked her out on a date
She looked at me with hate
And told me to “piss off, you narc.”
—Jason T.
Everyone loves the San Diego scene
Beautiful weather, flip-flops, and jeans
Padres’ hometown
Chargers touchdown!
The muse for Pacific San Diego magazine.
—Jodi M.
There once was a chick from PB,
Who spent some time on her knees.
As I held back her hair,
I said, “Please throw up there.
And, oh, by the way,
What’s your name?”
—Henry M. ‎
There once was a magazine from Diego
Whose Facebook presence was Prego
They had contests for fans, blind dates with suntans
They published on paper, then on the web
They’re killing it with content
San Diego pubs are feeling the dread.
—John D.
A gentle young hipster named Paco
Was jonesing for a fish taco
Thought he, “Cricket’s Pub?
Or the Turf Supper Club?”
The Station is too far to walk-o!
—Dave D.
There once was a dude from Diego,
He had money but couldn’t get play though
So he crossed the border
And bought an “escorter”
And the next day his balls were en fuego.
—Alex D.
There once was a sunny, surf-side town
It had a really famous and fun downtown
Oodles of clubs, bars and cool pubs
Foodies flocked in for all the great grub
In addition to this, its zoo was renowned!
—Lisa J.
America’s finest city
Weather never sh!tty
A great zoo
A football folly
But at least you can get there on the trolley.
—Julian K.
There once was a girl from Tennessee
Sugar and spice and everything nice
Till she moved out west to P.B.
Now she’s dancing on tables
And picking up labels
She’s having too much fun to care
Most know her as that “girl with the nice pair”
Since she’s the one who tends to black out
On the beach with her rack out.
—Jamie E.
There once was a man from Coronado
Whose penis was shaped like an avocado
His date said with a grin,
“I can’t fit this in…
Don’t call me, I’m incommunicado.”
—Jon R.
82 pacificsandiego.com {February 2011}