Stop Sudah English-revised-March2012 - International Center for ...

2.4. Domestic Violence and Economic Neglect
Victims of domestic violence repeatedly told about great difficulties they faced due to economic neglect.
When a husband had spent all his wages on liquor or to support his mistress, he neglected his family, and
his wife, and sometimes members of his wife’s family, had to bear the economic burden.
At the beginning of 2007, I started to see changes in [my husband’s] behavior, among others he rarely came home
with the excuse that he was working overtime. Gradually his attention to the family diminished, and money for the
family was also limited. Finally, in May of 2007 I found out he had pictures of a woman on his flash drive.
Immediately, I took my husband to court for a divorce in August 2007. From September 2007 until now, I have
had no long financial or emotional support. 88
Husbands have various excuses for leaving their wives. One case of violence related to the husband’s
perception of the gap in social status with his own wife. His wife sold betul nut, while the husband was
once elected as a district official. Previously, their domestic situation was good, the children attended school
and the wife was happy.
However, I must forget my pleasure . . . because I do not know how to read and write and am not good at receiving
guests. My husband finally decided to leave me by issuing a letter of divorce. The problem was handled by the family
and eventually he married a widow from Biak. As a human, I was disappointed, hurt, and felt loss, but what could
I do? It was all in vain . . . the rice had already become porridge. My husband said, “I love mama, but one
requirement to be the wife of a district official is that she is capable in all areas, while mama cannot handle all of
this.” I realized that I had many shortcomings . . . I had to accept this fact. Currently I can only . . . sell betel nut.
Every day, I . . . sell betel nut . . . From these earnings I am able to support my children and my needs. Meanwhile,
since my ex-husband became an official he no longer paid attention to me and to the children. The children often go
play at his home, but their stepmother ostracizes them, so the children are reluctant to go again. Now my husband is
no longer an official . . . Until now I do not know what his situation is like. May God see what has been sown over
the years. 89
Although not divorced by her husband, a wife’s ability to earn money from hard work is hampered by
injury or pain due to violence committed by her husband. One victim still suffers from pain in the legs and
lower back so that she can no longer split sago with an axe. As a result of being repeatedly beaten by their
husbands until they are black and blue, including being hit on the forehead until it bleeds, other victims of
domestic violence often suffer from headaches and nose bleeds. If they must carry a load, the entire body
feels very painful. 90 A woman farmer experienced the same thing. As a result of being frequently beaten by
her husband, she could not bear heavy loads on her head, which is an important skill for women farmers.
She also suffered stress because she’s been separated from her husband for so long and alone must be
responsible for her two children. 91
2.5. Husbands Commit Poligamy/Adultery, Wives Are Infected With HIV/AIDS
A lot happens in society, where women who don’t know anything in the end contract HIV/AIDS because of their
husbands’ “snacks” outside [the home]. They get cash from special autonomy funds, then in a matter of days use it
88 MIM25 narrative.
89 WAM10 narrative.
90 Field notes on WAM02 case.
91 Field notes on WAM03 case.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! 47