Holloway mourns death of student - The Founder

1001 films to see before you die... 

thefounder 

the independent student newspaper of royal holloway, university of london 

free! 

Volume 3 | Issue 7 

Thursday 15 January 2009 

thefounder.co.uk 

Holloway 

mourns death 

of student 

Tom Matthews 

Chief News Editor 

It has been confirmed that the body 

of a young woman discovered in 

the Thames is that of missing Royal 

Holloway student Miranda Tennant. 

The body of the second year Media 

Arts student was found near 

Barnes Bridge in south west London 

on 28th December by a member of 

the public. 

Surrey Police were first notified of 

Miranda’s disappearance on the 9th 

December, when she went missing 

from the Richmond flat she shared 

with her boyfriend of five years. 

The Police informed the Missing 

Persons section of the Metropolitan 

Police who, alongside Miranda’s 

family and friends, immediately began 

actively searching for the missing 

25 year old. Miranda’s details 

were also uploaded to the website of 

charity missingpeople.org.uk. 

A Facebook site, entitled “Miranda 

is Missing” was also set up by 

concerned friends to inform everyone 

of the students’ disappearance. 

The site has now become an open 

memorial to Miranda, with over 

1,600 members. 

In the first of two all-student 

emails, sent on Monday 15th December 

2008, Senior Vice-Principal 

Rob Kemp alerted all students to 

Miranda’s disappearance and appealed 

for anyone who may have 

any information to contact the Metropolitan 

Police. 

A further email was sent on Tuesday 

6th January 2009, informing 

students of the tragic outcome of the 

search for Miranda. “The Principal 

of the College and the Head of the 

Department of Media Arts have offered 

their condolences to Miranda’s 

family” wrote Senior Vice-Principal 

Rob Kemp. 

Miranda’s body was discovered 

on the 28th December, and was 

recovered from the water by the 

Chiswick RNLI Crew. A member of 

the lifeboat crew told media: “She 

could have entered the Thames ei- 

The RAE 2008 ranked Holloway’s Department of Music as the best in the UK 

RHUL enjoys success in 2008 

Research Assessment Exercise 

Nicholas Stylianou 

News Editor 

The results of the 2008 Research 

Assessment Exercise (RAE), announced 

in December, place Royal 

Holloway among the top 20 research-led 

university institutions in 

the UK. 

The exercise was conducted jointly 

by the Higher Education Funding 

Council for England, the Scottish 

Funding Council, the Higher Education 

Funding Council for Wales 

and the Department for Employment 

and Learning, Northern Ireland. 

The results of the RAE help determine 

the research grant each institution 

receives from 2009-10. 

Photograph: Atatiwa 

The assessment process for the 

RAE focuses on quality of research 

outputs, papers published in academic 

journals and conference proceedings, 

research environment, and 

indicators of esteem. For RAE 2008, 

institutions were invited to submit 

four research outputs, published between 

January 2001 and December 

2007, for each full-time member of 

Continued on page 3 » Continued on page 4 » 

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Comment & Debate 

Are Israel’s attacks on 

Gaza ethnic cleansing? 

Comment on the current crisis in 

the Gaza strip 6» 

News 

Student attack featured on 

BBC Crimewatch 

the serious sexual assault of a female 

student near Holloway is investigated 4» 

Sport 

Preview of 2009, the year 

ahead looks very good 

sport Editor Benny Coles 

warms us up for 2009 18» 

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2 The Founder | Thursday 15 January 2009 

The Founder 

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tf editorial team 

Editor 

Jessica Freeman 

Chief Sub-Editor 

Camille Nedelec-Lucas 

Podcast & News Editor 

Tom Matthews 

News Editor 

Nicholas Stylianou 

Editor-in-Chief 

Jack Lenox 

Business Director 

Simon Hepher 

Comment & Debate Editor 

David Armitage 

Features Editor 

Cristina Lynch 

Editor of Extra 

Camron Miller 

Film Editor 

Bethan Haycock 

Music Editor 

Jack Ingram 

Arts Editor 

Alexandra Kinman 

Sport Editor 

Benny Coles 

Webmaster 

Adrian Hayter 

Designed by 

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& 

Jessica Freeman 

The Founder is the independent student newspaper of Royal Holloway, University of London. We distribute at least 

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© Wise News and Media Ltd. 2008, 53 Glebe Road, Egham Surrey, TW20 8BU 

Holloway Paralympian 

honoured with MBE 

Hollowegian Sophie Christiansen, a third 

year maths student, has been awarded an 

MBE in the Queen’s New Year’s Honours 

List. 

Sophie was awarded the MBE for her 

contribution to disabled sport after she 

inspired Sir Paul McCartney’s £2m 

fundraising campaign in support of 

ParalympicsGB. Sophie also won two 

gold medals and a silver in equestrian 

events at the Beijing Paralympics. 

Sophie commented: “Without my 

family I wouldn’t be where I am today…Since 

Beijing I’ve gone back to 

university to do my third year. It’s 

been hectic but that’s the way I like 

it!” 

News - In Brief 

Egham Waitrose and Travel 

Lodge to create 200 new jobs 

Developer Albemarie Egham is 

planning to spend £35m building a 

20,000 sqft Waitrose Store and Travelodge 

Hotel in Church Road, just 

off Egham High Street. 

If the developer is granted planning 

permission, it is thought the 

store and hotel, which would open 

Smart drugs 

early in 2011, would bring around 

200 jobs to the local area, including 

many opportunities for part-time 

student employment. 

A public consultation was held in 

Egham in July and 78% of the 150 

people present expressed favourable 

interest in the plans. 

A leading academic has said students 

should be allowed to take 

“smart drugs” in order to boost their 

performance in examinations. 

Drugs such as Ritalin and even 

Viagra have been shown to enhance 

concentration and performance 

alongside their usual uses. 

Professor of Bioethics at Manchester 

University John Harris said 

the use of performance-enhancing 

drugs in exams should be seen as a 

benefit to society. However, others 

argue that the side-effects of such 

drugs are not yet fully understood. 

Currently the use of medicines 

such as Ritalin and Viagra without a 

prescription remains illegal. 

Facilities Management 

success in Marketing Awards 

The Sales and Marketing Team of 

Royal Holloway have won two Venuemasters 

Marketing Awards, as 

well as gaining third place in the annual 

Mystery Buyer exercise. 

The Venuemasters awards are 

dedicated to recognising marketing 

excellence within the academic sector. 

The RHUL team won the “Best 

Promotional Activity 2008” award 

for the Royal Holloway Chronicle, 

which promotes the facilities available 

on campus to conference attendees, 

as well as detailing the history of 

the University. 

Earlier in 2008, the team were also 

awarded the “Best Stand Award” at 

the Venuemasters Academic Venue 

Show 2008. 

Sophie Christiansen (shown 

left on the front cover of The 

Founder’s first issue of this 

academic year), won two 

gold medals at the Beijing 

Paralympics last summer

The Founder | Thursday 15 January 2009 

News 

3 

Holloway mourns tragic death of student 

» continued from front page 

ther upstream towards Richmond, 

or downstream, nearer Hammersmith”. 

The Police confirmed the 

body was that of the missing student 

on 2nd January. 

An inquest into the students’ death 

was opened on December 31st, but 

was adjourned soon after to allow 

Police investigations to continue. 

Whilst Police are not treating the 

death as suspicious, investigations 

are continuing into how, where and 

why Miranda entered the water. 

The College provided The Founder 

with an official statement: “We 

were extremely shocked and upset 

to learn that Miranda’s body has 

been recovered from the Thames. 

We had been working closely with 

the Met Police since her disappearance 

and very much hoped that she 

would be found alive. She will be 

greatly missed by her tutors and fellow 

students. We offer our deepest 

sympathy to her family and friends.” 

Alongside the original Facebook 

site “Miranda is Missing”, set up 

shortly after the students’ disappearance, 

a further group has now been 

opened, “Remembering Miranda”. 

Whilst Miranda’s family have asked 

for the funeral to be restricted to 

family and close friends, the Facebook 

group, with 209 members, is 

being used to plan an appropriate 

memorial to Miranda. 

The College has made a donation 

to the Missing Person’s charity in 

memory of Miranda, and have also 

confirmed that they plan to assist 

friends and family in arranging a 

fitting tribute to the student. Suggestions 

so far have included a tree, 

memorial service in the quad, film 

screening, and a display of some 

of Miranda’s artwork, for which 

she was well known amongst her 

Several groups have been created on Facebook in memory of Miranda Tennant, the College will be 

holding a memorial service in the coming weeks 

friends. 

The Students’ Union released a 

statement, saying: “It is with great 

sadness that we have learned of 

the death of Miranda Tenant. The 

Students’ Union wishes to offer its 

condolences to Miranda’s friends 

and family…Miranda was a valued 

member of both the university 

and the union and will be greatly 

missed.” 

Tributes have been left on the 

Facebook memorial groups for Miranda, 

described by her mother as 

“beautiful [and] one of the funniest 

people”. 

One classmate wrote, “I’ll miss 

you. You made class more fun. Your 

brain was truly awesome.” Another 

spoke of another of Miranda’s loves: 

“We’ll miss u so much..who am I 

gonna talk to about our cats?” 

Others expressed their sympathy 

for Miranda’s family, holding them 

in their hearts and prayers, whilst 

another student, although having 

never met Miranda, summed up 

the feelings of many students: “She 

seemed very much loved, and that’s 

a great thing to see.” 

Both the University and the Students’ 

Union have offered their support 

to anyone affected by this tragic 

incident. The SURHUL Student 

Advice Centre can be found on the 

first floor of the SU building, and is 

open Monday to Friday, 9:30am until 

6pm. 

The University Support and Advisory 

Services are located in Founders 

West Room 151, or can be contacted 

by email at community@ 

rhul.ac.uk or by telephone on 01784 

443394. 

The entire Founder team wishes 

to express its condolences to Miranda’s 

friends and family at this most 

difficult of times. 

RHUL Support and 

Advisory Services 

The University Support and 

Advisory Services are located 

in Founders West Room 

151, or can be contacted by 

email at: 

community@rhul.ac.uk 

Or by telephone on: 

01784 443394 

SURHUL Student 

Advice Centre 

The Student Advice Centre 

is open between 10am 

and 5pm, Monday – Friday 

and operates an open door 

policy exclusively to students. 

Or telephone: 

01784 486300


News 

Student attack featured on BBC Crimewatch 

Tom Matthews 

Chief News Editor 

The serious sexual assault on a female 

student first reported by The 

Founder in October has featured 

on BBC Crimewatch, resulting in a 

number of calls and important information. 

The incident took place on Prune 

Hill in Englefield Green between 

22:00 and 23:00 on Saturday 27th 

September. The lone female student 

was physically and sexually assaulted 

by two male suspects before the 

victim was able to free herself, running 

away towards the A30. 

The 19 year old got off a train at 

Egham station at around 10pm and 

was approached by two men, who 

tried to engage her in conversation. 

The student ignored the men and 

walked along Rushman Park Avenue. 

The victim then passed along 

either Braywood Avenue or Daleham 

Avenue before turning right 

onto Whitehall Lane. 

Detective Inspector Brendan Collins, 

who is leading the investigation, 

told The Founder: “This was 

a very serious incident and we are 

RHUL enjoys 

success in 

2008 RAE 

» continued from front page 

staff selected for inclusion. 

The new scoring system that applies 

for the RAE 2008 measures 

research quality in four categories, 

with the top score of 4* indicating 

quality that is world-leading and of 

the highest standards in terms of 

originality, significance and rigour. 

The Principal, Professor Stephen 

Hill, told The Founder: “The results 

of the RAE 2008 demonstrate 

that Royal Holloway remains one of 

the UK’s leading research universities. 

The College is ranked 16th in 

terms of research of 4* standard. 

Royal Holloway has a broad range 

of excellent researchers and departments. 

Our results are testament 

both to the hard work and dedication 

of our staff and the investment 

that we have made over the past 

seven years.” 

Overall, Royal Holloway is positioned 

above many of the Russell 

Group universities, including Birmingham, 

Newcastle, Glasgow and 

Liverpool. 

The College is ranked 6th out of 

18 institutions belonging to the 

1994 Group of research-led institutions 

on 3* & 4* scores, and in the 

doing everything possible to track 

down those responsible.” He also 

stressed that incidents such as this 

are very rare in Surrey, and urged 

anyone with any further information 

to come forward. 

A reconstruction of the incident 

was also featured on the BBC Programme, 

and Detectives are now 

South East region, Royal Holloway 

ranks 3rd after Oxford and Southampton. 

The Department of Music at Royal 

Holloway was ranked number 

one in the UK during the Research 

Assessment Exercise. 

Enjoying continued success, the 

Department of Music’s outstanding 

achievement is the result of worldleading 

research excellence. 

Commenting on Music’s outstanding 

achievement, Dr James 

Dack, Head of the Department, said 

“This result is further recognition 

of the excellence in the Department 

and reflects the breadth and depth 

of its musicological research.” 

The Department’s strengths include 

large-scale centres and research 

projects funded by research 

councils and charities including 

AHRC, British Academy, Leverhulme 

Trust and the Mellon Foundation. 

Within the last 18 months individual 

or collaborative research has 

secured some £166,000 of funding 

to support various projects. A 

three-year British Academy Post- 

Doctoral Fellowship has been located 

in the Department from 2008, 

with a research specialism in the 

musical culture of the Far East the 

Chinese Diaspora. 

Most recently, a collaborative 

project involving a member of the 

Department as co-investigator has 

been awarded a substantial grant 

following up several lines of enquiry. 

Police are appealing for anyone 

who may have seen the suspects. 

The first is described as being of 

thin build, around 6ft tall and wearing 

a dark hooded top with a zip and 

jeans. The second man is described 

as being of larger build, around 6ft 

1in tall, wearing a dark hooded top 

under the AHRC Beyond Text 

Scheme. 

The Department is equally active 

in terms of research in the creative 

fields of musical performance and 

composition. 

The Department established its 

status as one of the foremost university 

departments in the UK for 

research with a 5* rating in the 1996 

RAE and was one of only three departments 

of music to gain a second 

5* in 2001. 

A further eight departments at 

Royal Holloway are in the top 10 of 

the Research Assessment Exercise 

2008 ranked by proportion of 3* 

& 4* research: Biological Sciences 

(joint 3rd), Drama (joint 9th), Earth 

Sciences (joint 7th), Economics 

(joint 9th), Geography (joint 9th), 

German (joint 5th), Media Arts 

(joint 6th) and Psychology (joint 

5th). 

Commenting on the result, Professor 

Peter Bramley, Head of the 

School of Biological Sciences said, 

“I am delighted that the internationally 

competitive quality of our 

research has been recognised and 

that the School is in the very top tier 

of research-led departments in the 

UK.” 

Head of the Economics Department, 

Professor Andrew Mountford 

said, “The value of the research 

conducted in the Department has 

already been recognised by the various 

governments and international 

with a jumper over it and jeans. Police 

believe one of the offenders may 

have sustained a cigarette burn to 

his right forearm during the attack. 

Anyone with information is urged 

to contact Staines CID on 0845 125 

2222 quoting reference RM/08/3810 

or to call CrimeStoppers anonymously 

on 0800 555 111. 

bodies who have used its members 

as advisors and this value has now 

been underlined by this excellent 

result in the RAE. This outcome is 

richly deserved and gives due recognition 

for all the hard work that has 

gone into developing the Department 

since it was founded just over 

10 years ago.” 

Biological Sciences has benefited 

from strategic investment in staff, 

research and teaching facilities, 

boosting the internationally competitive 

quality of its research. 

The Economics Department has 

attracted first rate staff from all over 

the world and excels in research 

across the discipline, from Economic 

History to Econometrics, from 

Microeconomics to Macroeconomics 

and from Experimental Economics 

to Labour Economics and the 

Economics of Education. All three 

Research Centres in the School have 

attracted major funding for research 

during the past year. 

With reference to Royal Holloway’s 

ongoing collaborations with 

partners including the SWAN alliance 

and the proposed merger with 

St George’s, University of London, 

Principal Professor Stephen Hill, 

added, “The strong results in the 

Schools of Biological Sciences and 

Management and Departments of 

Psychology and Health and Social 

Care provide an excellent basis for 

our merger with St George’s, University 

of London.” 

Ashwood 

Road attack 

leaves student 

with black eye 

Amy Norman 

A violent attack on a Royal Holloway 

student in Englefield Green has 

led to questions regarding the safety 

of students in the village. 

Police are appealing for witnesses 

after a 19 year old History student 

was set upon by a Rottweiler and 

had two thugs repeatedly punch 

him whilst he tried to save his car 

from being vandalised. The attack 

took place on Ashwood Road in the 

early hours of Sunday, December 7. 

The student, who asked not to be 

named, was attempting to move his 

car away from the two vandals who 

were damaging other cars parked in 

the street. 

The car would not start, and the 

men verbally abused the student, 

before one man kicked the car and 

the other punched the victim repeatedly 

through an open window. 

The two men had been walking 

down Ashwood Road, vandalising 

cars and hammering on the front 

doors of houses. 

The student received a black eye, 

a minor cut to the forehead and had 

his glasses smashed in the vicious attack. 

He was eventually able to start 

his car and drove to the university 

campus, where he called the police. 

Other students in the area around 

Ashwood Road and Beechtree Avenue 

regularly experience incidents 

of antisocial behaviour, including 

verbal abuse from children as young 

as eight. Incidents of criminal damage 

and assault are, however, relatively 

infrequent in Runnymede. 

Surrey Police told The Founder 

that despite an “extensive search” of 

the surrounding area, the suspects 

were not located. Staines CID are 

“actively investigating” the incident 

and the victim has been contacted 

to provide reassurance. 

The student called the assault “terrifying”, 

saying “I was worried they 

were going to drag me out of the car 

and finish me off.” Stating a shared 

view of Royal Holloway students, he 

said “I didn’t come to university to 

be assaulted and scared”. 

Police have asked anyone who 

may have witnessed the incident on 

Ashwood Road between 01:50 and 

02:05 on Sunday 7th December to 

contact Staines CID on 0845 125 

2222 quoting reference RM/08/5378 

or to call Crimestoppers anonymously 

on 0800 555 111.


tf Comment 

& Debate 

5 

Boxing Day Bloodbath 

Dina Patel 

Surely only the crazy people 

bother to take the train into 

London on Boxing Day 

to buy a Prada handbag 

half price? Not just London, but 

Manchester and Leeds and other 

cities saw many shoppers queuing, 

waiting eagerly for the doors 

of High Street stores to open on 

Boxing Day. Even my own family 

dragged me into Oxford Street on 

Boxing Day to rummage through 

the sale racks for a ‘bargain’. I 

however came back home empty 

handed, mainly because a bargain is 

not a ‘bargain’ if you didn’t need it 

in the first place. It seems however, 

that shoppers have of late forgotten 

that we are in the middle of a 

financial crisis. The large crowds I 

had to push my way past on Oxford 

Street the day after Christmas Day 

only proves that the credit crunch 

has yet to affect the average High 

Street consumer. However, when 

it does in the New Year, will we be 

glad to have had some fun before 

having to save our money or will we 

be hugging our new Prada bags one 

last time before having to flog them 

to pay our bills? 

It seems that, for the time being, 

shoppers are not too worried about 

the downpour of the financial crisis 

that has swept its way through 

Britain, as many queued for hours 

to not only enter major stores 

such as Selfridges and Harrods but 

some even queued for over an hour 

just to pay for their items. These 

shoppers are clearly every retailer’s 

dream come true. The BBC news on 

Flickr/LoopZilla 

Flickr/JaimeLondonboy 

Boxing Day was also teeming with 

news of the half a million shoppers 

that had flooded into London. 

Not hard to believe when you had 

just spent the day pushing past the 

half a million people. Selfridges 

was particularly crazy, I couldn’t 

even see inside the store as a large 

crowd had formed outside, eager to 

get in. A man who struggled to get 

past the crowd as he left the store 

complained, ‘It’s carnage in there, 

men and women all lunging for the 

handbags!’ It seems people have 

shrugged off their financial worries 

in order to make way for a new 

Gucci handbag. 

However, despite what seems 

like a sudden increase in consumer 

spending, the sales had actually 

started a lot earlier in the month 

of December, hinting at the early 

struggles High Street stores were 

beginning to face. Sales seem to 

begin earlier and earlier every 

year as High Street stores are now 

putting up their ‘sale’ signs long 

before Christmas Day. November 

even saw the introduction of sales 

in major High Street stores such as 

Marks and Spencer. Retailers are 

clearly struggling with the credit 

crunch more than shoppers as 

prices have been slashed significantly 

in order to lure shoppers into 

their stores. Pre-Christmas shopping 

nevertheless, despite the sales, 

has been low and retailers must 

have gained some satisfaction at the 

sight of shoppers flocking into their 

stores post-Christmas. However it 

seems that an increase in sales this 

year in comparison to last year still 

may not be enough to save some of 

our well-known stores from closing 

down. It appears that many High 

Street stores may not even be able 

to pay basic costs within the next 

couple of months with many struggling 

to pay the rent. 

Whilst many shoppers will be 

concerned with gaining that new 

half off Prada handbag it seems the 

future of High Street stores is looking 

very bleak, with many thought 

to be closing down in the next year. 

Woolworths, as you may well know, 

has already caused a stir as the first 

of many High Street stores to close 

down. The closing down of favourite 

stores will not only be received 

badly by their customers, but also 

by the thousands of employees who 

will inevitably lose their jobs. The 

closure of most Woolworth’s stores 

in the UK has already left thousands 

of its staff without a job. 

January and February will no 

doubt see a significant bloodbath 

between all the major High Street 

stores as they struggle to remain 

competitive. This really has become 

a survival of the fittest. As I walked 

through Oxford Street on Boxing 

Day, it was amazing to see not only 

half-price items but items that had 

“ 

Whilst I would 

consider shopping 

a calming 

activity, Boxing 

Day shopping 

is definitely 

something I will 

leave to the Gucci 

mad next year 

” 

been reduced to 10% of their actual 

worth. It is hardly surprising that 

these well-known stores are facing 

closure when they are selling their 

stock at prices well below their 

normal price. Unfortunately, there 

are of course few other options to 

entice shoppers to part with their 

money. However, despite the price 

cuts, the British Retail Consortium 

(BRC) has declared this Christmas 

a relatively poor one for retailers as 

consumers are being more cautious 

with their spending, making only a 

few purchases. 

Unfortunately, though the New 

Year may typically be seen as a time 

of renewal and a time to put new 

ideas into action, 2009 may simply 

be a year of trying to stay afloat and 

avoiding the whirlwind that is the 

financial crisis. I personally will 

have to resist the urge to spend my 

money on things I do not need in 

2009, and whilst I would consider 

shopping a calming activity, 

Boxing Day shopping is definitely 

something I will leave to the Gucci 

mad next year. I personally would 

rather join the anti-fur campaigners 

outside Harrods. It’s funny 

how standing in the freezing cold, 

shouting in favour of animal rights 

as a random man outside Harrods 

drowns out your voice as he plays 

on the steel drums, seems more 

bearable than plunging oneself into 

a full on handbag bloodbath.



Are Israel’s attacks on Gaza ethnic cleansing? 

Kaltrina Bylykbashi 

Israel’s recent vicious attacks 

on the Gaza Strip provoked 

two days of large protests at 

the Israeli Embassy in Kensington 

High Street in West London. 

On both evenings protesters have 

halted traffic in their desire for a 

cease-fire in Palestine. These protests 

took place the two days after 

Israel began its excessive attacks on 

Gaza, claiming that it is defending 

itself against Hamas. 

Around 2000 people have been 

showing up every evening since the 

bombings began; part of an outcry 

to the rest of the world to help the 

Palestinian people against this vicious 

attack.Those at the protest 

were not just a large group of Palestinians 

or Muslims who turned up 

for support, it was a multicultural 

array standing up against brutal violence 

shown to the Palestinian people. 

It included Neturei Karta, which 

is a worldwide organisation of Orthodox 

Jews against the consistent 

Photograph: Amir Farshad 

attacks on the Palestinian people. 

They issue a “passionate condemnation 

of the latest Zionist atrocities in 

Gaza and the entire Palestine”. The 

argument is that this is no longer 

about religion, it is not the Jewish 

faith itself that they question but a 

dominant force that is unapologetic 

for its actions; they ask for justifications 

where justification has been 

deemed unnecessary by the large 

support from America and the silence 

of the majority of the world. 

A few have spoken against the 

violence in the press. The United 

Nations General Secretary, Ban Ki- 

Moon has recognised the need for 

Israel to defend itself but condemns 

“Israel’s excessive use of force” and 

Britain’s foreign secretary, David 

Miliband, calls this a “Humanitarian 

crisis” and calls for “ceasefire”. 

“It was a 

multicultural array 

standing up against 

brutal violence 

” 

However, it seems that there are 

very few mediating what is happening 

in the troubled nation. George 

Bush speaks for America and claims 

that Israel’s actions are a just defence 

against Hamas, with no recognition 

of the severity of the attacks on part 

of Israeli forces themselves. 

Tony Benn, a former Labour MP 

who leads the ‘Stop the War Coalition’, 

attended in support as did 

George Galloway on both of the 

evenings, claiming, “they are the 

criminals” while pointing at the Israeli 

embassy and also condemning 

the police for even trying to control 

the protest. He argued that they 

should be turning into the embassy 

and arresting those inside. Although 

he has suffered from some negative 

press due to the confrontational 

style in which he presents his arguments 

he has been a well-known 

supporter of the Palestinian people 

and critic of the injustices that they 

continue to suffer, with very little international 

help. 

Without groups like Hamas to 

defend them, what would be the 

treatment of the Palestinian people? 

Bearing in mind the Israeli government’s 

prevention of journalists entering 

Gaza and the pre-planning of 

its attacks for as much as 5 months 

beforehand, it is hard to understand 

why this is not seen as another example 

of ethnic cleansing, and why 

the world fails to recognise it. 

Taking away free speech 

Khalid El-Qasabagli 

I 

write to you today as there is 

something going on outside of 

the media’s watch which I feel 

you should know about. 

Here is the story of how I found 

out: after watching the new, I went 

onto my Facebook profile and 

looked up Gaza groups. I wanted 

to voice my opinion on the current 

conflict, and I found a few of 

them and wanted to join them (the 

groups shown below). After looking 

through one in particular (the End 

the siege on Gaza now, which had 

almost 40,000 members), I started 

looking through the links of charities. 

After looking at the charity, I 

went to click back onto the Facebook 

group, and found that it had 

been hacked into by the JIDF. The 

use of the wall where you can post 

your opinions had been deleted and 

disabled, as was the the description 

of the group where I found all the 

links to charities. The description 

had been replaced with a pro-Israeli 

one, with the JIDF picture on the 

top left where the Palestine flag use 

to be. I then looked again under the 

search for Gaza and found 3 other 

groups had been hacked into; one 

was now just completely closed, 

and another, the admin now had 

the same JIDF symbol. Here are the 

groups (I also have screenshots of 

them if needed): 

http://www.facebook.com/group. 

php?gid=18570844983 


php?gid=9728575854 


php?gid=9728575854&ref=mf#/ 

group.php?gid=8539161340 

All these groups (which consisted 

of averagely 35,000+ members) have 

been closed by the Jewish internet 

defence force – http://www.thejidf. 

org/– who on their website states 

the following:‘The JIDF believes 

in direct action both to eradicate 

the problems we face online and to 

create the publicity that will cause 

those with the power (companies 

like Facebook and Google) to take 

the needed action themselves.’ So 

they feel that they have the right to 

take the law into their own hands? 

All but a few hours ago the groups I 

mentioned, spoke freely about what 

they viewed was going in Gaza at 

the moment. They gave out times 

of protests, and the use of the wall 

allowed anyone to freely post their 

view on the current conflict. They 

also offered links and information 

about charities to which you can 

donate funds to create aid for the 

people of Gaza, such as http://www. 

palestinercs.org/. All this has been 

taken down now because of JIDF. 

The JIDF take this all down because 

they want people not to talk badly 

at all about Israel, and this way no 

one can; and if they do, they will be 

hacked into and shut down. That’s 

their motto. People will therefore 

stop joining these type of groups, 

and expressing themselves on social 

networking sites like Facebook, as 

opening up will most likely result 

in being closed down.So what happened 

to free speech? Why is the 

choice taken away from us to support 

whatever we believe in? There 

are milions of people living in the 

free society who believe in a free 

Gaza and free Palestine, and no one 

has the right to take this freedom 

away from them. Taking away the 

right to free speech on any scale, just 

isn’t right. Some could say this is 

just a website of which a few groups 

were hacked into illegally, but this 

isn’t as small as it sounds.There is 

a bigger picture and that bigger 

picture is painted a bit differently. 

Modern society is so dependent on 

social networking groups like Facebook 

to get people talking together 

and expressing free speech (almost 

like the use of a phone, which we 

all like to think isn’t hacked into), 

that changing things like this will 

change people’s opinions.As people 

won’t be able to express themselves 

freely anymore, they will no longer 

be able to discuss and consider a variety 

of views before reaching their 

own conclusion. They will only ever 

hear one side of the story, which is 

not the type of world we should be 

living in.



7 

Spotlight on Gaza 

Israeli-Palestinian conflict calls for a return to the ideas and example of one of 

Palestine’s finest thinkers 

Daniel Whittall 

At times of high crisis, it is 

often most instructive to 

return to ones intellectual 

forebears for guidance. 

The current situation in Israel- 

Palestine is just such a crisis-point, 

and in this instance, Edward Said is 

just such a shining light of scholarship 

and integrity. 

Across a range of publications, 

Said shone light upon the violence 

tearing apart the area we now so 

readily term the ‘Middle-East’. Perhaps 

his most pointed writings on 

the topic, however, were collected 

in From Oslo to Iraq and the Roadmap, 

published after his death in 

2004. In a series of eloquent and 

passionate essays, Said struck at the 

heart of what he saw as the stickingpoints 

between the Israeli state and 

the Palestinian people. Unlike many, 

he was not afraid to criticise Palestinian 

leaders, and was vehement 

in his rejection of the militarization 

proposed by Hamas and like organisations. 

Yet his range of vision saw 

beyond this, and beyond the media 

fabrications which constructed Palestinians 

as ‘terrorists’ and Israeli’s 

as ‘victims’. 

Latest estimates put the number 

of Palestinians killed since Israeli 

forces began their assault on the 

Gaza strip on 27th December at 

around 900. At least 11 ambulances 

have been destroyed, 12 medical 

workers killed, and another 32 injured 

to date, all in what is being 

called a campaign against ‘terror’. In 

contrast, only thirteen Israeli’s have 

died in the same period. In spite 

of this, the USA has categorically 

refused to sign a UN Declaration 

calling for the immediate cessation 

of hostilities on both sides; small 

wonder, given that prior to the current 

violence it was the US government 

who supplied both the F-16 

fighter jets, and also the GBU-39 

‘smart’ bombs which have wreaked 

so much havoc in recent weeks, to 

the Israeli government. It is notable 

also that Barack Obama, Presidentelect 

and outspoken critic of the recent 

deaths in both Russia’s war in 

Georgia and the Mumbai ‘terror’ 

attacks, has thus far remained silent 

on Gaza. The more things change, 

the more they stay the same. 

Said’s brilliance was to show that 

Israeli assaults were always twofold 

– at once combining devastating 

military assaults with a global propaganda 

campaign designed to depict 

the most heavily armed country 

in the region as a weakened, brutalised 

victim, left with no choice other 

Protest in San Francisco Flickr/ Steve Rhodes 

Flickr/Pooyan 

“ 

We must capture 

the imagination 

not just of our 

people but of our 

oppressors. And we 

have to abide by 

humane democratic 

values 

” 

than to deploy the Israeli ‘Defence’ 

Force for protection. 

And he went further. He saw that 

the Palestinian struggle – his struggle 

– was an anticolonial one, of a 

people deposed from their territory, 

walled into separate zones, regularly 

restricted under curfew, and 

with little or often no freedom to 

move between the various ‘zones’ in 

which they were allowed to eke out a 

highly limited and regulated form of 

life. Hamas’ turn to violence may be 

reprehensible, but it is by no means 

incomprehensible. 

So much, in this crisis, rests on 

questions of space. Indeed, with the 

importance of territory, land, borders 

and boundaries in this conflict, 

it is no wonder that Said referred 

to it as ‘this most geographical of 

contests’. Palestinian space became 

defined as ‘besieged spots on the 

map’. In the recent conflict, and in 

many before, these ‘spots’ have been 

reified as ‘targets’, either for Israeli 

bombs or international humanitarian 

aid, rather than as populated and 

inhabited spaces of life – and death. 

Said’s proposal for a Palestinian 

political strategy for the future was 

as follows; ‘we must capture the 

imagination not just of our people 

but of our oppressors. And we have 

to abide by humane democratic values’. 

In violating the second half of 

Said’s proposals, Hamas gave Israel 

the excuse it had been looking for 

to launch their brutal assault. And 

yet, even as the death toll continues 

to rise, it appears that the imaginations 

of those outside Palestine have 

failed yet to be sufficiently captured. 

Despite recent mass protests in Britain, 

for example, Gordon Brown 

and his government have failed to 

criticise outright the disproportionate 

Israeli response. 

But our governments failure is 

also our own. They are our representatives, 

and what they do is done 

in our name. New Labour was responsible 

for taking this country 

to an unjustifiable war in Iraq, and 

they continue to have blood on their 

hands in Gaza. Under Blair and now 

Brown, they too have provided Israel 

with the military hardware responsible 

for the deaths of so many 

innocent lives. We have a responsibility 

to do everything we can to 

halt the current reign of death in 

Gaza, and we should not stop campaigning 

and writing to our political 

representatives until they take 

heed. For too long have our political 

representatives feared criticising the 

Israeli condescension towards Palestinian 

life. 

John Pilger recently called the 

current situation ‘the defining moment 

of our times’. This, of course, 

is too far – there are a number of 

crises currently vying for such a 

dubious honour. Yet in future we 

may well find ourselves defined, in 

part at least, by our inaction in allowing 

so many innocent people to 

die in Gaza. Unless we begin to do 

something about it. Responsibility 

is always multiple, and in watching 

the conflict from a distance we 

must recall that although we might 

physically be far away, the actions 

of our government, and therefore 

ourselves, are much more closely 

implicated. In drawing lessons from 

this, we could do much worse than 

to close with Said; ‘The future, like 

the past, is built by human beings. 

They, and not some distant mediator 

or saviour, provide the agency 

for change’.


College Information 

College celebrates success at Volunteering Awards 

Royal Holloway’s Community Action volunteering programme recently celebrated 

its second year of success at the prestigious Higher Education Volunteering 

Awards (HEVA) held at Manchester United Football Club’s Old Trafford 

stadium. 

Robin Green won an award for his work in developing a scheme where students 

teach basic IT skills to young refugees and asylum seekers at Hillingdon 

Social Services. The participants not only learnt new, highly valuable, skills 

but were also awarded certificates for completed modules. Matthew Goldup 

was also among the 25 finalists, chosen from over 750 nominations from universities 

across the country. Matthew worked as an ambassador for the Royal 

Geography Society at Oxfam in Egham and also provided English language 

tuition for refugees and asylum seekers. 

‘It is a great honour to receive this award’, said Robin. ‘It is the culmination 

of a lot of great team work as well as the efforts of committed student volunteers 

who were invaluable in making the project a success. I am very glad that 

this project has been recognised by such a prestigious award’. 

Under the leadership of Phil Simcock, Volunteer Co-ordinator at the College, 

over 750 students have registered as volunteers and many local projects 

have benefitted. The Community Action Team has actively sought to gain 

recognition for its student volunteers and succeeded in achieving Student 

Volunteering England Gold Award status for Robin and Matthew earlier in the 

year. 

“The College’s volunteering team has grown in strength from year to year 

and I am hugely encouraged by the high calibre and enthusiasm of the current 

volunteers”, says Phil. 

Royal Holloway in top 20 with world-leading 

research across all three faculties 

The results of the 2008 Research Assessment Exercise (RAE 2008), announced on 18 December, confirm Royal Holloway’s position among the top research-led university institutions 

in the UK, with outstanding areas in all three faculties of Arts, History and Social Sciences and Science. 

The Principal, Professor Stephen Hill, said, “The results of the RAE 2008 demonstrate that Royal Holloway remains one of the UK’s leading research universities. The College is 

ranked 16th in terms of research of 4* standard. Royal Holloway has a broad range of excellent researchers and departments and I was particularly pleased to see that we have 

the highest rated department in Music in the whole of the UK. Our results are testament both to the hard work and dedication of our staff and the investment that we have made 

over the past seven years.” 

The primary purpose of the RAE 2008 is to measure the quality of research activity at 159 UK universities and colleges. The results will be used by the four UK funding bodies to 

determine the allocation of £1.5 billion for research annually from 2009. 

The new scoring system that applies for the RAE 2008 measures research quality in four categories, with the top score of 4* indicating quality that is world-leading and of the 

highest standards in terms of originality, significance and rigour. 

In the RAE 2008, 60% of research profile at the College is rated as world-leading or internationally excellent – outperforming the national average of 50%. 

Music (Faculty of Arts), which has been consistently awarded the highest research rating in all previous RAEs, has now been acclaimed the UK’s top Department. Biological Sciences 

(Faculty of Science) and Economics (Faculty of History & Social Sciences) were likewise among the highest rated in the country, ranked joint 3rd and joint 9th respectively. 

With reference to Royal Holloway’s ongoing collaborations with partners including the SWAN alliance and the proposed merger with St George’s, University of London, Professor 

Stephen Hill, added, “The strong results in the Schools of Biological Sciences and Management and Departments of Psychology and Health and Social Care provide an excellent 

basis for our merger with St George’s, University of London.” 

Sexual Health 

Following ‘Shag Week’, I have been invited to provide some advice on sensible sexual health precautions and explain a little about what services we provide at the University Health 

Centre. 

I am sure you have heard this all before, but I cannot stress enough how important the use of condoms is in the prevention of all sexually transmitted illnesses. I would suggest 

that even if you are taking the pill, you only ever consider abandoning barrier methods of contraception when you and your partner have been screened at a sexual health clinic. 

Putting it simply, if you have had unprotected sex with anyone before you are potentially putting your present partner at risk. 

Condoms protect against HIV, syphilis, gonorrhoea and the well known STIs, while they are also very effective against the much more common Chlamydia. If you are concerned 

that you may have contracted an STI or want to discuss any aspect of your sexual health or contraception, please feel free to come along to the Health Centre to do so. 

Dr Gero Baiarda MB BS DPD MSc 

Lead GP Royal Holloway, University of London Health Centre

Twilight 

E X T R A 

Thursday 15 January 2009 

Realism vs 

Romanticism 

thefounder 

Sherlock Holmes 10///Futureworld Cinema 11///Australia 13///Murakani 16///

10 The Founder | Monday 8 December 2008 

E X T R A 

Sherlock Holmes: 

Alexandra Kinman 

Arts Extra 

In October 2008 Guy Ritchie began 

filming the anticipated Sherlock 

Holmes, starring Robert Downey Jr 

as Sherlock and Jude Law as his 

right hand man Dr Watson. Guy 

Ritchie agreed to take on the risky 

action packed film, a script which 

earlier in the year made it into 

The Black List – a list of the 50 best 

un-produced scripts, drawn up 

from the 250 leading film executives 

in the UK and US. 

On the first week of filming, Warner 

Bros held a press conference in 

London where Ritchie guaranteed 

the film would not be ‘a traditional 

Guy Ritchie thing’, vowing to stay in 

line with a more authentic adaptation 

of the detective, though promising 

to exploit his fencing 

and questionable martial arts skills. 

Written by Mike Johnson and 

adapted from the Lionel Wigram 

comics, Sherlock Holmes follows 

a mysterious mastermind criminal 

Lord 

Blackwood, who returns to life after 

his execution, promising to take 

over the British Empire and kill the 

Queen on the opening of 

parliament. The obsession with the 

occult and the paranormal promises 

a dark return for Holmes, reminiscent 

of the 1985 Barry Levinson 

adaptation. 

In Bond-esque fashion Holmes 

faces his anti-hero femme fatale 

Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), 

a seductive yet annoying woman 

crossed 

somewhere between killing and 

kinking him. In the middle of the 

turmoil the script sports a few spats 

of random, if not pointless 

action sequences. We’re never quite 

sure who ‘cut throat’ Dredger is, but 

we know he wants to kill Holmes. 

At times it’s a (quote from script) 

‘first generation CSI’, with Holmes 

pointlessly analysing ink stains on 

somebody’s ear, with the 

aim to make us understand how 

‘great’ he is. Nonetheless, despite 

a string over over-complications, 

‘Sherlock Holmes’ wields a sense of 

depth, energy and darkness to which 

gangster boy Guy Ritchie has a lot to 

live up to. With his latest string of 

Exclusive Preview 

appalling films, let’s just hope it lives 

up to expectations. 

Sherlock Holmes is due for release 

in 2010. 

Hard Ass-Ramming 

Phil Hooks 

This reviewer was not one to be 

blinkered by the publicity storm 

surrounding the release of Hard 

Ass-Ramming Slags. A less than 

faithful adaptation of Dickens’ A 

Christmas Carol sees Eboobsleazer 

Spooge (Mr. Awklidge) awoken 

in bed three nights in a row in the 

presence of a different lover, all 

three of them prostitutes. Although 

the dénouement is still the same, the 

scrapping of some of the original’s 

essential story threads (Bob Cratchett, 

Tiny Tim, Victorian London, 

Christmas) means that it jars badly 

and feels rushed. Some of the scenes 

are poorly lit, and Ms. Riley’s Prostitute 

Number Two is as lacking in 

passion as she so obviously lacks a 

Ladyshaver. 

It isn’t all bad, though. Prostitute 

Number One, played so hauntingly 

by Mrs Bennington, is worth the 

ticket price alone. If her scenes seem 

to lack rhythm, it is the fault of Mr. 

Awklidge, whose diction is abominable 

for a professional production 

of this magnitude. 

The much-hyped soundtrack is, 

sadly, as uninspiring as the rest of 

the picture. Over-produced mixes 

of George Formby, Buddy Holly 

and Shirley Bassey classics feel out 

of place in Spooge’s ethereal fantasy 

land, while the lazily dubbed sound 

effects often produce unintentionally 

comedic moments. 

It seems that Mr. Cagou (now the 

world’s richest septuagenarian) just 

isn’t driven by the same angry force 

that made his early work so powerful, 

instead relying on CGI to create 

the magic for him. 

I’m sorry, Mr. Cagou. To quote 

your Lord Tillard’s Daughter: “This 

chump aint buyin’ it.” 

Dir: Henri Cagou 

Prod: Hartley Fricker

The Founder | Monday 8 December 2008 

E X T R A 

11 

Twilight: promotes unrealistic expectations 

Jessica Benn 

This vampire love story is adored 

by the hordes of screaming preteens 

and the now infamous ‘Twimoms’ 

alike, something about this book 

has captured the imagination of 

millions of people (mainly rabid 

fangirls wanting sexy vampire Edward 

to bite them). But after seeing 

the much- awaited film adaptation 

I was finally able to place my finger 

on what it is that concerns me about 

such representations of love. 

This classic boy meets girl story 

changes slightly into, boy meets girl 

and girl likes boy but boy is a vampire 

and wants to suck girls’ blood 

from her body because she smells 

like freesias. No. Seriously. Like 

Freesias. “You have a very floral 

smell, like lavender… or freesia,” he 

noted. “It’s mouth-watering.” There 

is no need to make anything up with 

this book. But strangely, Edward being 

a vampire is not the most worrying 

part, but instead the absolute dependence 

of Bella on Edward. This 

is not a strong, independent girl 

who finds love and then finds herself; 

Bella literally becomes obsessed 

with Edward losing all semblance of 

identity in the process. Perhaps, it is 

not the sloppy characterisation that 

is the problem, but that millions of 

preteen girls view this relationship 

as the epitome of love. Indeed, much 

Ingram Hill 

“ 

Myer has allowed 

a generation of 

young girls to view 

a relationship that 

is impossible to 

achieve 

” 

like children who watch Disney stories 

and expect the same romantic 

twists in their lives, Stephanie Myer 

has allowed a generation of young 

girls to view a relationship that is 

impossible to achieve. 

Because essentially, any way you 

look at it, this relationship is impossible 

to achieve, even if you did manage 

to somehow find a vampire to 

begin with. Edward saves Bella’s life 

on more than one occasion, mainly 

from her own stupidity, but is only 

able to do so because he doesn’t 

sleep and spends all his time watching 

her. All his time. He watches her 

sleep for about two months before 

finally admitting to it. Bella is okay 

with this because Edward is super 

A Beginner’s Guide to... 

Far, far away from the comic book 

convention, the force of science fiction 

has burrowed deep into modern 

culture. None more so, one could 

argue, than the visions of future 

worlds: the gigantic vistas, steaming 

conurbations and ominous heights 

which continue to mesmerise audiences. 

The appeal of the future 

world is simple, providing a glimpse 

into the familiar unknown, often 

presented as a terrifying alternative 

to the comforts of today. This 

is questioning cinema, probing the 

recurrent problems of our times 

and demanding a response from the 

viewer. 

The futuristic vision of Metropolis 

(1927), in all its sprawling glory, 

has been hard to match. Fritz Lang’s 

film is essentially a tale of class and 

hot. Edward literally stalks Bella to 

the point where she has no autonomy, 

not that she wants it - because 

Edward is super hot. Even when Edward 

admits he might accidently eat 

her because she smells so good (got 

to love those freesias) Bella is okay 

with this because Edward is super 

hot. Spot a running theme here? 

All this leaves a bit of a dilemma 

for anyone wanting to maintain that 

Futureworld Cinema 

their relationship is realisti: the only 

time she makes an independent decision 

she is by herself and it nearly 

results in her death. 

The time for radical feminism has, 

in some ways, already passed, representations 

of strong females are still 

needed. Aspiring to be Bella Swann 

is no aspiration at all, and placing 

her in the coveted position of love 

object to the overly Byronic Edward 

capitalism, and has left us with some 

of the great cinematic images of all 

time. The gothic skyline looms over 

the plight of the workers in a technological 

world far from any promised 

paradise. The more earnest 

Things to Come (1936), penned 

by the great H.G. Wells, played it 

straighter and cleaner. A cautionary 

portrait of a world ravaged by conflict, 

the film aims to startle viewers 

from their self-interest and destruction. 

What it achieves for cinema, it 

failed to prevent in the battlefields of 

the twentieth century. 

The anti-authority streak of 1960s 

and 70s film-makers found a stronghold 

in the broad scope of the future 

world. Farenheit 451 (1966) reflected 

the disillusionment towards selfinterested 

government which had 

been growing throughout the decade. 

A time when free-thinking was 

discouraged, books burned, and television 

lifestyle imprisoned minds 

seemed an ever-likely possibility. 

What Farenheit 451 did for dystopian 

theory, Logan’s Run (1976) did 

for mass conspiracy. Michael York, 

as the titular runner, must escape 

the confines of a ‘sanctuary’ from 

nuclear holocaust; the paradisiacal 

‘promised land’ holds a hideous secret. 

The idea of government sanctioned 

murder, to allow for smooth 

administration, is as potent in today’s 

nihilistic world as it was to the 

post-Vietnam mindset of the time. 

Misuse of power became a staple 

of the genre, from the relentlessly 

grim Hong Kong actioner The Final 

Test (1987), to the well-received and 

largely forgotten Dark City (1998). 

Indeed, action has always had a 

special relationship with science fiction. 

Mad Max (1979) gave the world 

a memorably sadistic anti-hero who 

is as much hurtling towards oblivion 

as the biker gang he pursues. If 

Mel Gibson’s seething performance 

tended to blur the lines of good and 

bad, Robocop (1987) can be seen as 

a re-dress of the balance. But what 

could have been a mere crowdpleaser 

ends up as Paul Verhoeven’s 

gruesome and satirical side-swipe 

at modern lifestyle. Both films have 

become cult favourites that, whilst 

possibly lacking in focus, possess a 

raw imaginative energy which is impossible 

to deny. 

But the most remarkable cinematic 

visions of the future are undoubtedly 

Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner 

has the possibility of giving millions 

of preteens ideas of love that are unrealistic. 

In saying that though, I do 

recommend seeing the film, if only 

to watch Robert Pattinson play Edward 

(he is actually super hot, but I 

doubt that would make it okay for 

him to stalk you). See it, make your 

own decision and if possible take a 

younger sister or cousin, odds are 

on that they’ll love it. 

(1982). Scott’s film dazzles with its 

fully-realised cityscape, seductive 

atmosphere and Rutger Hauer’s 

wonderfully poised performance. 

Its profound questions about life, 

love and creation continue to confound 

audiences, with the film becoming 

a greater puzzle and Harrison 

Ford’s character more of an 

enigma with each newly released 

cut. The choice of a ridiculously 

exaggerated future reveals the farce 

of contemporary life in its plainest 

colours. Through the lens of the 

future world, our world is brought 

into sharp focus.


E X T R A 

1001 Films to see before you die... 

Kayleigh Dray 

Ever felt like you were surrounded 

by zombies? Let’s set the scene: 

Shaun, our everyday loveable loser, 

is having many problems in life. His 

long-time girlfriend has dumped 

him due to their almost-daily expedition 

to Shaun’s favourite pub, the 

Winchester. His temporary management 

job isn’t going well at Foree 

Electronics, with his subordinates 

not even giving him the time of day. 

His deadbeat flatmates, Pete and Ed, 

are at each other’s throats. And, oh 

yeah, London is overrun with multitudes 

of zombies. In the midst of 

this, he must save himself, Ed, his 

ex, his mom and his precious record 

collection. 

Written and starring the talented 

Simon Pegg, this film is a multifaceted 

wonder of horror, comedy, 

romance, tragedy and delicately infused 

with numerous movie references! 

For those of you grimly unaware 

of the latter, I will offer you an 

example or two: Dawn of the Dead 

is obviously parodied, in title and in 

various scenes; Shaun, when acting 

as temporary manager, mentions 

that Ash will not be in. In The Army 

of Darkness, the main character Ash 

works in a very similar retail store; 

28 Days Later is cited, with newsreaders 

mentioning the ‘rage virus’. 

And, a numerous host of others are 

depicted, including Michael Jackson’s 

Thriller video, The Rocky Horror 

Picture Show, Invasion of the 

Body Snatchers, Ricky Gervais’ The 

Office, Alien, The Deer Hunter, The 

Godfather and King of the Zombies 

(“who died and made you fucking 

king of the zombies?!”). Therefore, 

it seems this film has as many layers 

as…an onion. Next time you watch 

keep an eye out for those movie connections, 

it truly enriches an already 

superb viewing experience. 

There is a clever adoption of foreshadowing, 

similar to Invasion of 

the Body Snatchers, where many 

of the opening scenes are mirrored 

later in the movie, with slightly 

different events occurring in the 

background. For example, whereas 

Shaun slips on a sponge on the way 

to his local shop at the beginning of 

the movie, the second shot shows 

him slipping in a pool of blood – 

and not even noticing. The regular 

jogger who passes him has now 

taken to full out-sprinting, casting 

terrified glances behind his shoulder. 

The drinks cabinet in his local 

shop is now pooled with blood. And 

so on. Yet Shaun continues on as 

always, staring at the change in his 

hand, focusing on locating his can of 

fizzy drink and…er…a cornetto for 

his friend Ed. The zombies awakening 

around him go unnoticed and 

it is this, I feel, which hits a chord 

with everyday life. How many of us 

would really think ‘zombie’ when 

faced with a staggering, bloodthirsty 

idiot? I choose to ignore those of 

you with your hands raised, for I 

feel Shaun and Ed’s reaction to the 

‘girl in the garden’ is much more 

likely: she turns around, mouth lolling 

open, dead eyes staring at them. 

Shaun gapes in confusion and then 

mutters furtively – ‘Oh my God… 

she’s so drunk!’ 

Shaun and Ed, when faced with two 

zombies in the garden, fling records 

at their heads in an attempt to ward 

them off (but only after discussing 

exactly which records are allowed 

to be flung!). Yet, for a moment, let’s 

focus on the romantic relationships 

embedded within the film. Firstly, 

Liz and Shaun. The pressure is on, 

for Shaun fails to take initiative and 

constantly drags her to The Winchester 

every night, with oafish Ed 

and her abhorrent flatmates, Dianne 

and David, in tow. Yet, in the midst 

of a zombie onslaught, his love for 

her is reawakened and he not only 

climbs up through her window to 

save her, but introduces her to his 

mum and takes initiative. In short, 

he is no longer Shaun Riley, but 

Shaun of the Dead – sort-of-warrior 

and heroic figure. Will their love be 

reawakened at the film’s end or will 

they perish at the mouths of hungry 

flesh-eating zombies? 

The second great relationship, and 

the most endearing one, is that between 

Ed and Shaun. Best friends 

Shaun of the Dead 

since they were five and living together 

as late twenty-somethings, 

Shaun has adopted a protective big 

brother stance over his less than 

polished companion. As he points 

out to Liz, Ed ‘doesn’t have many 

friends’, during which Shaun is interrupted 

by Ed, who asks: ‘can I 

get any of you cunts a drink?’ Nice! 

Throughout the film, we see this 

atypical guy-friendship flourish in 

their dangerous new environment. 

It is more painful to watch Ed and 

Shaun falling out than it was to 

watch Liz dumping him, for we have 

more of a stake in their friendship. 

Years of torment come rushing out 

of Shaun when Ed lets him down 

in front of Liz, her friends and the 

zombies: ‘You fuck off! Fuck fucking 

off! I’ve spent my entire life sticking 

my neck out for you and all you ever 

do is fuck things up! Fuck things up 

and make me look stupid! Well, I’m 

not going to let you do it anymore. 

OK? Not today!’ Luckily for us, and 

them, the conflict is soon resolved 

when Ed fetches Shaun a beer. 

This film clearly has not simply 

dazzled me, many have fallen under 

the spell of its wicked mix of 

humour and horror: it has been 

termed a ‘modern classic’ by the 

likes of the Sunday Night Project 

and has one no fewer than 6 awards, 

nominated for a grand total of 16. 

Similarly, it is one of the few British 

films released in the States that the 

Americans loved! So, if you haven’t 

seen it, what are you waiting for? If 

anything, it will prepare you nicely 

for the day we veterans refer to as 

Z-Day. The end of the world. The 

night of the living dead! Remember, 

in the words of the wise Simon Pegg, 

‘Always ALWAYS have a plan! This 

could happen…’ 

Happy head-bashing! 

A Recent Dream... 

Steve Camembert 

Dark. Light. My eye lids open sharply, 

my pupils shrink away. Cold glass 

sheet with rain pouring down was a 

wall, the vista of a city opened out 

down below, big boxes and small 

boxes and an ill defined greying 

fringe. 

Get out of bed, put on my clothes. 

Shirt, trousers - both so neat - 

smooth and creaseless and perfectly 

fitting upon my Belgian body. But I 

might not be Belgian necessarily, I 

rarely talk. I go to work, but I don’t 

know what I do. I am somewhere in 

the day. I get paid. 

Nothing starts until evening. 

Shiny metallic club, pretty girls, 

champagne and cocaine, cleanliness 

and class. Back in bed and I shut my 

eyes. I wake up but to my surprise… 

I do not exist. I am in a perfume advert. 

My consciousness dies as I am 

played for the last time. 

E X T R A 

Would you 

like to write 

for Extra? 

To get involved 

contact: 

extra@ 

thefounder.co.uk


E X T R A 

13 

Film 

Australia: truly a tour de force 

Laura Stokes 

Depicting Darwin on the brink of 

World War 2, Baz Luhrmann’s Australia 

has already been touted as the 

new Gone with the Wind and as a 

return to the golden age of cinema. 

Epic in scope, it stars Nicole 

Kidman, who impresses as Lady 

Sarah Ashley, an English aristocrat 

who journeys from her countryside 

manor to the Australian outback to 

join her husband, whose misdemeanours 

have become common 

knowledge. Intending to set things 

straight, she arrives only to discover 

that she is now a widow and that 

the farm (Faraway Downs) and 

its large cattle herd are now solely 

in her control. Her plummy accent, 

carved beauty and immaculate 

dress sense mean that she is 

radically different from her new 

neighbours, and a poor obstacle for 

those who wish to seize her land 

from her. One whom she initially 

falls foul of is a rugged handyman 

known as the Drover (Hugh Jackman), 

who can’t make head nor tale 

of Ashley’s refined ways. Yet despite 

their differences love soon blossoms 

for the pair as they struggle to 

defend both their newfound land 

and family. 

Falling just short of three hours 

and packed full of all you would expect 

from a Hollywood blockbuster, 

Australia, thankfully, never appears 

too pleased with itself. Luhrmann 

is cautionary in this sense, letting 

young Nullah, a mixed race child 

‘adopted’ by Lady Ashley, tell the 

story in the way he sees it. The 

innocent narrative works perfectly 

as a brilliant contrast to the often 

barbaric scenes surrounding him. 

It is also a joy to see the emergence 

of a new Sarah, as she involves 

herself more and more in the action 

(unbeknown to her enemies, she is 

a mean horse rider, giving her male 

counterparts a run for their money). 

It is also worth noting the new 

style adopted by the revolutionary 

Luhrmann. He has refrained 

from the darting camera shots and 

overall whirlwind effect of the all 

singing, all dancing Moulin Rouge; 

Australia’s romance scenes ,for 

instance, are shown in a tender 

way. Such fancy camera techniques 

would seem redundant here: he lets 

the lingering shots of the spectacular 

scenery do the talking. 

However, there are some brilliant 

special effects, such as the stampede 

scene and the 1942 bombing of 

Darwin by the Japanese (a period of 

history which I for one knew nothing 

about). Kidman is also surprisingly 

believable when coming to 

terms with her new maternal duties 

(which the Drover apparently ignores)and 

her complete devotion to 

the orphaned aborigine child is one 

of many powerful aspects of the 

epic. It is near impossible to predict 

what will become of the lovers 

throughout the film, guaranteeing 

maximum audience attention until 

the credits start rolling. Australia 

is a true tour de force: if you can 

sit through the three hour running 

time, I guarantee that you will be 

rewarded. 

Che Part One: The Argentine 

Liam McGuigan 

In the whole world, Ernesto ‘Ché’ 

Guevara is perhaps the most known 

unknown person there is. Those 

who know him for the politics, as 

a leading light in the 1959 Cuban 

Revolution, are few compared to 

the many who know him as the 

fashion statement: the pop-art image 

on the t-shirt. 

It is with this special date in 

mind, released just a day shy of 

the revolution’s fiftieth anniversary, 

that we are given the first in a 

two-part biopic on the man behind 

the picture. Che: The Argentine 

gives the viewer Ché Guevara, 

for the most part, in two separate 

ways. On the one hand, Guevara 

as national revolutionary in Cuba, 

commanding and leading forces to 

the eventual toppling of the Batista 

dictatorship; on the other, Guevara 

as international figurehead, talking 

at the United Nations in 1964 on 

behalf of Castro’s Cuba. 

Director Steven Soderbergh, cred- 

ited for cinematography in the film 

under the alias Peter Andrews, handles 

these two separate time frames 

in a well-crafted manner. The 

revolution is displayed in vibrant 

colour, heightening the beauty of 

the Cuban landscape whilst also 

giving added shock to the deaths 

encountered along the way. This is 

in complete contrast to the monochrome 

moments interspersed in 

the film where Guevara, played by 

Benicio Del Toro, is shown as UN 

representative, yet both directions 

visually hit the spot. 

It’s when you get past the image 

and the visuals, however, that 

the film’s frailties begin to show. 

Though Ché Guevara is played to 

great effect by Del Toro who, like 

Demián Bichir as Fidel Castro, 

bears a striking resemblance to the 

man visually, those who hope to 

see the film in order to gain some 

extra knowledge on the man will be 

left short changed. The film instead 

holds steady to set piece after set 

piece of dialogue where Guevara 

is little questioned and mostly accepted 

in his words and actions. Bar 

a few moments where you see Ché 

going through day-to-day chores, 

you’re still left unaware of deeper 

issues surrounding the revolutionary: 

what brought an Argentinean 

(hence the film’s title) to Cuba, what 

formed his political thinking and 

how he met people like Fidel and 

Raul Castro are all left unanswered. 

Yet, in spite of this, what it does 

choose to address, predominantly 

the Cuban revolution itself, is handled 

with a masterful combination 

of suspense and visuals. The road 

towards Santa Clara and the hidden 

nature of guerrilla warfare make for 

tense battle scenes where you’re not 

sure when, or even if, fighting will 

break out. The revolution’s eventual 

arrival in the city blows this even 

wider, giving way to stunning visual 

moments in the film and a brilliant 

final half-hour to the movie. 

All of this, however, would be 

left wanting had it not been for 

Del Toro’s role as Ché Guevara. At 

Cannes in 2008, Del Toro won the 

Best Actor Award for his portrayal 

of the man over the two parts and 

it’s easy to see why; though the 

script binds him to little insight but 

many platitudes, the hard-nosed 

leader who would kill or be killed 

without hesitation shines throughout, 

and it is on Del Toro’s part that 

the energy of the film largely comes 

from. 

As a film in itself Che Part One: 

The Argentine is hard to really pin 

down. So much in the film gives 

rise to it really being the fourand-a-half-hour 

opus that it was 

screened as at both the Cannes 

and Toronto film festivals, yet as a 

stand-alone movie you’d be hard 

pressed not to call it a flawed masterpiece. 

This is a real shame given 

Del Toro as co-producer allegedly 

spent seven years researching and 

developing the idea. This first-half 

of the biopic keeps Guevara where 

he was in the common consciousness 

beforehand: as merchandise 

figure over Marxist fighter. Yet this 

is not to take away Del Toro’s performance 

of Ché, which is worth 

the price of admission alone. With 

Del Toro’s powerful performance 

combined with the subject matter 

of forthcoming Che Part Two: 

Guerrilla, it promises to be a mustsee 

conclusion to this ambitious 

project.


E X T R A 

Music 

2009 - A Preview 

Jack William Ingram 

Music Editor 

Antony & The Johnsons 

The Crying Light 

Antony & the Johnsons have been 

very highly touted over the past few 

years – deservedly so - 2005’s I Am 

A Bird Now came out of nowhere to 

win the Mercury Prize, and 2006’s 

exquisite multimedia Turning tour 

proved that popular music can aspire 

to vertiginous heights of artistic 

merit. Anticipation for the band’s 

third album, then, is rather high. 

There has been a certain cloak of 

discretion smothering the build-up 

to The Crying Light’s release, thanks 

to the secrecy of vocalist/songwriter 

Antony Hegarty and the relatively 

cryptic nature of any details that 

have emerged. The cover art, for instance, 

consists of a photograph of 

Japanese guru and butoh dancer Kazuo 

Ohno, a figure acknowledged by 

Antony Hegarty as “kind of like my 

art parent”. It’s a striking image; according 

to the press release, “Ohno 

is shown reaching towards light, his 

striking visage and reclined posture 

simultaneously invoking the cradle, 

the grave, and transcendence.” 

Hopefully the music contained 

within will be equally striking; I, 

for one, have little doubt that it will 

be – every record and E.P. release 

up until this point has possessed a 

definite upward trajectory, a trend 

which will certainly see continue on 

January 20th, when this record is released. 

Animal Collective 

Merriweather Post Pavillion 

The eighth offering from the pioneering 

electro-folk audiophiles; 

I’m not going to say much about 

this record. It will be released by the 

time we go to print (12th January), 

so any ‘preview’ will be erroneous. 

Needless to say, however, this is one 

of the most anticipated releases of 

recent months, and - although it 

has been leaked already - perish the 

thought that I would do something 

so heinous as illegally download 

it… Look forward to a (legally 

sound) review in the next issue. 

The Decemberists 

The Hazards of Love 

The Decemberists have been busy in 

2008, releasing a succession of singles 

on vinyl known as the Always 

the Bridesmaid series, and carrying 

out a limited tour in support. Finally, 

in October, the band announced 

that mixing had commenced on the 

follow-up to 2006’s The Crane Wife, 

the hour-long narrative suite that 

forms The Hazards of Love. 

The track listing has already been 

released, and needless to say, we’re 

in full-on folk/rock opera territory, 

more reminiscent of Peter Bellamy’s 

The Transports or Fairport Convention’s 

Babbacombe Lee than anything 

apparent in even the most ambitious 

efforts of the contemporary 

indie canon. Folk music is a genre 

that purists often allow to stagnate, 

but it has always reached its highest 

plateaus through fusion with 

more contemporary musical trends, 

which is why lead singer Colin Meloy’s 

admission that, alongside the 

influence of Anne Briggs, Pentan- 

gle and Shirley Collins, this newest 

record owes a debt of gratitude to 

the British stoner metal of Electric 

Wizard and the pioneering synthesiser 

work of Wendy Carlos, makes 

the whole project such an enticing 

prospect. Meloy has, in addition, 

indicated that the band’s spring tour 

will involve performances of the album’s 

song suite in its entirety. Release 

is anticipated for March 23rd; 

I don’t know about you, but I’ll be 

counting the days. 

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy : Beware! 

For the better part of the past two 

decades, Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy’s (the 

operating moniker of Kentucky’s 

Will Oldham) albums have constituted 

sporadic, but safe features on 

the landscape of frontier Americana 

– in diametric opposition to 

freak-folk eccentrics like Devendra 

Banhart and Joanna Newsom, who 

chart unexplored perimeters like 

psychedelic prospectors trailblazing 

their way through brave new 

worlds, Will Oldham’s regular album 

releases are reliable, certain 

things, like safehouses on the way to 

the new western terra incognita. 

According to early critic’s reports, 

Beware!, as always, showcases Bonnie 

‘Prince’ Billy’s unique style of 

recondite Americana, singing with a 

passion that sounds at once uplifting 

and devastated - a ragged backwoods 

Elijah, preaching a jugband 

ethos to hillbilly mendicants. However, 

something seems different on 

this new record, signalling what 

sounds like a sea change - perhaps 

it’s the thickening thud of low tone 

that rolls beneath the usual rustic 

timbre of fiddle and steel guitar - 

heralding a certain ineffable ambition 

that one critic has labelled as a 

sign that this will be Oldham’s “great 

contempo-country record”. Oldham 

has been lurking in the shadows of 

the American indie/folk scene for 

longer than many up-and-coming 

musicians have even been alive; 

there has been the occasional, almost 

accidental exposure to mainstream 

popularity – such as Johnny 

Cash’s cover of “I See a Darkness” 

on the Country star’s penultimate 

album, and a shout-out on Biffy 

Clyro’s 2007 record, Puzzle, but 

appreciation of the kind Oldham’s 

work actually merits has eluded the 

artist. Perhaps, Beware! will be the 

album to change this, propelling the 

artist to unprecedented popularity. 

Or perhaps not. There can be little 

doubt, however, that this is shaping 

up to be a fantastic album. Release 

date: March 16th. 

Porcupine Tree 

Unnamed Album 

Early 2009 will see the release of PT 

frontman Steve Wilson’s solo effort, 

Insurgentes, as well as a possible 

reissue of some previously unavailable 

material from the band’s extensive 

back-catalogue. The year’s most 

tempting prospect, however, lies in 

the indications of a new album release 

later in the year. 

According to reports, the band has 

recently spent 2 weeks in the English 

countryside working on new 

tracks, with recording scheduled to 

begin in February. Tour plans are 

being put in place for September, 

so it’s natural to assume we can expect 

an album release at around that 

time. There are no clues as to the 

nature of the songs or the theme of 

the album as of yet, but I don’t think 

it would be particularly presumptuous 

to assume great things of this 

record – Porcupine Tree have got 

exponentially better (and, indeed, 

more recognised) with each new 

release. Music fans who are unfamiliar 

with the band are advised to 

rectify this oversight immediately. 

You have no excuse. I have a feeling 

that Porcupine Tree will be remembered 

as one of the truly great bands 

of this era, a position that, hopefully, 

will be cemented come September.


E X T R A 

15 

Music 

2009 - A Preview 

My Bloody Valentine 

Loveless (2CD Remaster) 

Loveless, the magnum opus of My 

Bloody Valentine guitarist Kevin 

Shields, is recognised as one of the 

great albums of the 90s, and has 

unfortunately languished in an inferior 

CD version since its release 

in 1991. The definitive Loveless remaster, 

then, has been something of 

a holy grail to MBV fans. Its original 

release was slated for last year, but, 

predictably, as a result of Shields’ 

perfectionism (and personal eccentricities) 

the process has been delayed 

for some time. Release seemed 

imminent for most of the year, but 

was delayed repeatedly at the last 

moment thanks to a supposed need 

for more ‘tinkering’. Hopefully the 

end product will benefit from these 

postponements and sound clearer 

and sharper than ever, allowing the 

brilliance of the musical tapestries 

of the original recording to shine 

through in a way they deserve. Release 

expected: January 26th (don’t 

hold your breath, though). 

In Other News… 

2009 will also see a raft of household 

names competing to appease the 

bleating masses. U2’s twelfth studio 

album, No Line On The Horizon, 

will undoubtedly continue their 

hyper-profitable trend of bland stadium-filling 

anthem-rock, although 

the presence of both Daniel Lanois 

and the venerable Brian Eno in a 

production capacity might add a 

certain something. Meanwhile, 80s 

electro outfit, Depeche Mode (yes, 

they’re still making music) plan to 

commence a ‘Tour of the Universe’ 

with a studio album to follow. So 

far, so anachronistic, but the first 

single release from the new album, 

“Wrong” will be worth keeping an 

eye on – the music video is the brainchild 

of Patrick Daughters, who you 

may remember was responsible for 

the award winning video for Feist’s 

1234 (you know, from that ubiquitous 

Apple TV ad a while back). 

Intriguingly, Albert Hammond Jr, 

guitarist with The Strokes, has given 

an indication that work will soon 

begin on the follow up to First Impressions 

Of Earth, currently slated 

for a 2009 release because, in AHJ’s 

words, “If we don’t make a Strokes 

record before that, people will think 

that’s the end of us”. It’s nice to know 

that the Strokes have lost none of 

their artistic drive. You’ll also be 

pleased to learn that leathery dadrock 

superstar Rod Stewart is hoping 

to reunite the Faces for a tour, 

with Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist 

Flea in tow for some reason. This all 

depends, of course, on how short a 

leash Mick Jagger has Ronnie Wood 

on. We can also expect overexposed 

releases from Franz Ferdinand and 

Coldplay boring us all to death before 

the end of the year, but hopefully, 

thanks to talented fellows like 

the Animal Collective, The Decemberists, 

etc, there’ll be more than 

enough excellent music available to 

distract us from it. 

How to approach the sales 

Columnist Alice Dunn guides you through the New Year 

The other day something happened 

to me, which can only be described 

as an epiphany. In the week between 

Christmas and New Year, I 

did the inevitable: I went shopping. 

I bravely hit the sales, ready to embrace 

the fabulous fashion fayre on 

(special) offer, eager to arm myself 

with bountiful beautiful garments 

slashed in price. I was hungry for 

the couture I had been deprived 

from for what felt like a lifetime, the 

Christmas holiday calling for hostess-with-the-mostest 

rather than a 

fashion savvy fresher. So I had been 

out of my retail comfort zone for a 

week and was missing the shopping 

experience terribly! I was desperate 

to reaquaint myself with the sounds 

of the beep beep ka-ching tills and 

immersing myself between the rails. 

I arrived at one of the upmarket 

department stores and was immediately 

shocked at the sheer number 

of people. Still, I was not to be deterred. 

I made my way over to a 

packed clothes stack, (careful where 

I was treading, avoiding a chiffon 

blouse and a micro mini skirt already 

on the floor) and began to 

rummage. I felt like I was actually 

doing a real work out at the gym, 

all that stretching and untangling of 

the hangers must have toned up my 

extra layer I had built up over the 

mince pies, mulled wine and boxes 

of chocolates festivities. Pretty soon 

I had seen an enticingly deep blue 

two piece suit (perfect for any work 

experience opportunities, I convinced 

myself), but only found the 

skirt-half in my size. Someone had 

evidently just bought the jacket part, 

thinking it might match something 

else in their wardrobe. I can almost 

guarantee they are struggling with 

that one; for this was the most alluring 

and unique hue of blue I had 

ever seen. Frustrated, I put down the 

lovely pencil skirt, sad that it would 

probably go to some clueless dreamer, 

believing that they would indeed 

find a match, somewhere. 

Fine. One piece gone, I thought, 

still so many to find! I made my way 

through the forest of fake fur gillets, 

all mixed in with last year’s strappy 

tops and Summer items, somehow 

resurrected between tweed trousers 

and thick cords. I frantically sorted 

the display in to more manageable 

chunks for myself, but other women 

ruined my arrangement, injecting 

their bony fingers between the satin/ 

silk/wool/denim/viscose divisions. 

It was a battleground. “Enter at your 

own risk!”, I shrieked. I stopped. 

I couldn’t bear it. I was a girl possessed. 

I asked myself: is it worth it? 

I found myself glancing over to the 

more relaxing side of the store: ‘Non 

Sale’. New stock! Violety blues, flattering 

shaped shorts with an accent 

of pink. I glided over calmly, pausing 

to appreciate what the Spring 

season has to offer, elegantly glancing 

back to the crowds of bargainhunters 

and felt triumphant that I 

had found a certain, intangible serenity. 

And that portrays the true 

power and hold that fashion has. 

The ability to take you through the 

motions of frustration and rage 

and out the other side, peace and 

“ 

It was a battleground. 

“Enter at 

your own risk!”, I 

shrieked. I stopped. 

I couldn’t bear it. 

I was a girl possessed. 

I asked myself: 

is it worth it? 

” 

tranquillity, seduced and clutching 

pieces belonging the new blossoming 

Spring collection!


E X T R A 

1001 Books to Read Before You Die... 

The Wind-up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami 

Vikki Weston 

When a friend of mine told me he’d 

only read books by one author in 

the last several years and offered to 

lend me one to take a look at, I was 

sceptical and definitely expecting 

Dan Brown. Much to my surprise 

he leant me an enormous volume of 

fiction by a man called Haruki Murakami. 

At this point you’re probably 

thinking one of two things; either 

a) why on earth hasn’t she read 

Murakami already? Or b) Murawhat 

now? I, of course, checked out 

Haruki Murakami on my 1001 list 

and, lo and behold, there he was. 

‘The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle’ is a 

600 page marvel of Japanese literature 

relating the story of a Japanese 

man named Toru Okada losing his 

cat. Not to say that this is the entire 

story-line, it’s just the start and it’s 

pretty important but to tell you any 

more would not only ruin the novel 

but also take up my entire column 

space. ‘The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle’ 

is a confusing tale of interconnected 

individuals revolving around 

the narrator Toru. It is set predominantly 

in Tokyo but also inside 

Toru’s head and in war-time Manchuria. 

Like I said, it’s confusing. 

Murakami’s book could easily be 

too bewildering to read coherently, 

but his fluent and effortless writing 

style coupled with, what I can only 

assume to be, the dazzling translation 

skills of Jay Rubin (who is the 

only person to have translated a version 

of ‘Wind-Up Bird’ for Western 

publication) renders the volume 

easy to read yet beautifully intricate. 

Most good critics say that ‘Wind- 

Up Bird’ is one of Murakami’s finest 

works. It’s a quietly popular book. 

It’s not in Richard and Judy’s book 

club but whenever I was reading it 

in public a complete stranger would 

come over to tell me it was the best 

book they’d ever read. In my, limited, 

experience it is rare to find a work 

of fiction that inspires a stranger to 

let you know that they have such a 

trivial thing in common with you, 

particularly in Britain. People will 

see you with this book and come 

to talk to you; it’s not just a work of 

fiction it’s a key social networking 

tool. Murakami’s writing is overtly 

surreal but also tenderly human. 

‘The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle’ is a 

particularly good example of this; 

contrasting characters such as the 

other-worldly medium Malta Kano 

and the matter-of-fact teenager May 

Kasahara are demonstrations of the 

bizarre variations of human nature 

to be found within the bounds of 

Murakami’s imagination. 

If the size of a book is likely to put 

you off then perhaps ‘The Wind-Up 

Bird Chronicle’ isn’t for you, but 

this doesn’t mean that you should 

be steering clear of Murakami altogether. 

He’s a literary gem; seriously, 

he’s been compared to so many writers 

of varying styles that it’s been 

suggested that he must be an original. 

If you’re not keen on lengthy 

tomes then perhaps you should take 

a look at ‘Norwegian Wood’ a smaller 

and slightly less complex work or 

‘The Elephant Vanishes’ which is a 

collection of short stories (some of 

which were adapted for the stage 

“ 

In my, limited, experience 

it is rare 

to find a work of 

fiction that inspires 

a stranger to let 

you know that they 

have such a trivial 

thing in common 

with you 

” 

by Complicité Theatre Company, 

for you theatre buffs out there). For 

a true work of contemporary brilliance 

that is neither typically Japanese 

nor traditionally Western pick 

up Haruki Murakami, any Haruki 

Murakami and be enlightened, like 

I was. If I’ve learnt anything from 

Murakami’s book, other than the 

geography of Tokyo, it’s not to judge 

people by their reading habits; especially 

if they offer to lend you ‘The 

Wind-Up Bird Chronicle’. 

And now for something different... 

...Columnist Roz Carter delves into some interesting social activities 

Good Morrow to you, readers of the 

Founder, I trust you are well and 

rested after the lengthy Christmas 

holidays? Well, if you are, then you 

are a lucky so and so as (and I’m 

sure I’m not alone in thinking this) I 

find that actually it drains time, energy 

and of course MONEY! I had 

a very nasty shock when I looked at 

my balance and found that *oops* 

I might have spent my rent money 

on those shoes that I simply had to 

have as they were half price (for all 

the girls out there they were irregular 

choice with miniature chocolates 

on them… how could I not?) 

But in the doom and gloom of January 

I have uncovered a few entertaining 

activities to take your mind 

of impending doom and gloom of 

January bank statements. 

I am very fortunate in that my lit- 

tle sister Danielle happens to love 

the theatre as much as I do and so 

I thought I would kill 2 birds with 

one stone and take her to see a show 

for her Christmas present: Cunning 

I know. The show in question was 

Potted Potter: A Parody by Dan and 

Jeff and if I am completely honest 

it was one of the funniest things I 

have seen since John Cleese walked 

in a room with a dead parrot. It is 

all 7 Harry Potter books retold in 70 

minutes by 2 men and various wigs. 

With a minimal budget Dan and Jeff 

manage to include a game of Quidditch, 

a Hungarian Horntail and 

even a powerpoint presentation on 

book 3. Dan and Jeff ’s play uses the 

time classic method of “dumb one” 

and “smart one” to keep the audience 

in stitches from the opening of 

book one to Voldemort singing Gloria 

Gaynor. 

However if you can’t afford a trip 

into our Capital then there is an 

alternative that shouldn’t cost you 

more then £5…Board Game Night. 

Wait! Don’t throw down this paper 

in disgust and let me explain why 

this is actually a great night. I was 

trying to seduce this guy and I was 

trying to think of a situation were 

we would be in close contact and not 

in the Monkey’s Forehead. And then 

it came to me… BOARD GAMES! 

So I rounded up some of my good 

friends and we hit the games, Harry 

Potter Scene-It and Cranium to be 

exact. Although very confusing, 

playing Cranium proved to be hilarious 

as there is nothing funnier 

then watching your best friends 

try and act out the phrase “full of 

beans” As long as you are prepared 

to accept that tempers and objects 

may fly while playing these games it 

is a great way to get your mates together 

without spending a fortune. I 

warn you though the phrase “You’re 

S**t at life, You’re dumped” did get 

screamed several times during the 

evening. 

Potted Potter has finished playing 

but Dan and Jeff ’s new play Potted 

Pirates is currently showing. www. 

pottedpotter.com 

How Much?: £20 a ticket 

Why Go? Because it is pure comedy 

genius! 

Rating 5/5 

Board Game Night: 

How much?: Free if you have games 

or pick some up cheap from Oxfam 

Why? When trying to seduce men 

nothing says “look, I’m actually a bit 

bonkers” then the roll of the dice. 

Rating 3/5



17 

The Freedom Society: 

A new perspective 

Dave Paxton 

Freedom is Royal Holloway’s 

society for gays, lesbians, 

bisexuals and transsexuals. 

I put off investigating 

the society for a year, but having finally 

added myself to the Facebook 

group, I am interested to see what 

it can offer the second-year homosexual. 

The society advertises itself 

as appealing to ‘anyone who’s open 

minded or not really sure’, as well as 

to those ‘interested in the lifestyle’. 

That reference to ‘the lifestyle’ 

troubles me. What is this specific, 

monothematic lifestyle that we gays 

enjoy? I return home of an evening, 

put on a CD of Bach, open up a 

book, and drink a few glasses of 

red wine. Is this really ‘the lifestyle’ 

that Freedom refers to? A look at 

the posted photographs on Facebook 

clarifies the society’s position. 

Here are emblems of the path that 

I should be leading, as promoted by 

Freedom: seductive bitches entwining 

tongues like cogs in machines, 

divas in resplendent white wigs, 

towering purple and mauve fans, Elton 

John, the youthful Leonardo di- 

Caprio, ‘Pink Parties’ and ‘Rainbow 

Parties’, explosions of gaudy colour, 

splashed like industrial rainbows 

across my computer screen. This is 

Freedom’s idea of homosexuality. 

Am I the only one to find this utterly 

nauseating? 

It is certainly commendable that 

the society exists. Though Britain 

luxuriates in grand (and admittedly 

often unrealistic) claims of equality 

and liberalism, homophobia – implicit 

or explicit – is rife. For example, 

it is most likely that you know 

someone who uses ‘gay’ as a derogatory 

term. Or perhaps you do. Societies 

like Freedom exist to combat 

prejudice, propagate equality and 

provide a safe haven for those of a 

minority gender role or preference. 

Yet they do more harm than good. 

Freedom attempts to fight prejudice, 

while at every stage reinforcing the 

popular stereotype of the colourful 

homosexual, the image promoted 

by the media – willingly digested 

by society – and the one image that 

overwhelmingly leads to prejudice. 

Will and Grace, Julian Clary, Elton 

John and their gay peers construct 

society’s picture of the ‘camp’ homosexual, 

and this flamboyant genderacting 

comes to define homosexuality 

in general. A non-existent, and 

Photos from the Freedom Society 

Facebook group 

frankly homophobic link, between 

sexual preference and social behaviour 

is created. Freedom asks us to 

explore ‘the lifestyle’, the ‘culture’; we 

must ‘camp up’ for social events; we 

must manipulate our exteriors into 

erotic aesthetic constructs, of a sort 

demonstrated by the Facebook photographs. 

It is no wonder that homophobia 

exists; even I am repelled 

by this gender vision, and wish to 

combat it. 

The worst sort of heterosexual 

drapes DD-breasted women over his 

Herculean muscles as a signifier of 

social status, grunting that a healthy 

body leads to a healthy mind; the 

worst sort of homosexual parades 

his limp wristed diva-adoration as a 

distinguishing gender-attribute. Societies 

like Freedom, by promoting 

‘Rainbows’ and ‘Pink Parties’, reinforce 

convictions, doing an especial 

disservice to the thoughtful gay who 

wishes to assert himself as a person, 

not as a ‘type’. Freedom does not represent 

a call for equality; it alienates 

itself from the heterosexual society, 

and affirms the homosexual stereotype, 

which itself leads to prejudice 

and so negates the very possibility of 

equality. 

A convincing counter-argument 

could be made, if it trod a Shakespearian 

path, in the sense that we’re 

all acting a role, and one choice of 

part is as valid as another; my argument 

fails as the heterosexual society 

fails, in that it assumes a ‘norm’, 

against which an ‘other’ is created 

and defined, nebulously so. These 

are not, however, productive arguments 

to make, if twenty first century 

prejudice is to be quashed and 

something approaching equality is 

to be striven for. 

Properties to rent in Englefield Green 

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Sport 

A preview 

of 2009 

It’s set to be a cracker! 

Benny Coles 

Sport Editor 

After 2008 proved to be a great 

sporting year with the success of the 

Olympic Games along with other 

unforgettable moments such as 

Wimbledon and Lewis Hamilton’s 

success in the Formula 1 championship, 

some may see 2009 as having a 

rather hard act to follow. That is until 

looking at the sporting calendar 

for the next twelve months. What 

the Olympics offer is a spectacle incomparable 

with any other, but, this 

year has the potential to throw up 

even greater ones. 

Two events though hold the most 

promise of the lot. Firstly, The Ashes, 

will return to England for the first 

time since the memorable series win 

in 2005. Going into the new year 

England’s form is far from the spectacular, 

they were thrashed in the 

recent One Day series in India 5-0 

and the test series around Christmas 

saw them squander a huge 

lead in the first test. English cricket 

has been on a steady decline since 

the class of 2005 triumphed. Question 

marks over the young players 

who have come into the squad and 

whether they have fulfilled their potential; 

take the rather one-dimensional 

Monty Panesar, or the everchanging 

position of wicket-keeper, 

Geraint Jones, Tim Ambrose and 

Matt Prior, have all failed to provide 

the consistency and batting prowess 

which Alec Stewart brought to 

the crease time and time again over 

a decade. Other notable departures 

have been Michael Vaughan and 

Ashley Giles, Vaughan’s leadership 

was exceptional and as a reader of 

the game he remains in high regard. 

Giles use of spin at times in that 

last series had the ability to change 

matches, and whilst Panesar is technically 

strong at times he lacks the 

variation to leave a batsman guessing. 

However it has not all been doom 

and gloom. Panesar, Alistair Cook 

and Stuart Broad have come into 

the side, along with excellent swing 

bowling of Ryan Sidebottom and a 

rejuvenated Jimmy Anderson. Fortunately, 

England find themselves 

facing an Australian side who are 

in their worse form for years, having 

just entered the year on the back 

of two test series defeats, one in India 

and the far more significant result 

against South Africa at home, 

meaning that they lost their status 

as the world’s no. 1 test team in the 

process. In all honesty, this eventual 

decline has been predicted for years, 

and was to be expected that by now 

many of the players who created the 

Australian dynasty that has ruled 

the sport for the last 19 years have 

retired. The Waugh brothers, Shane 

Warne, Justin Langer, Adam Gilchrist 

and Glenn McGrath all played 

significant roles in making Australia 

the force they were. With those 

players gone, England will have 

faith that they can be more competitive 

than 2 years ago when they were 

comprehensively beaten in 2007 

Ashes series in Australia. If the series 

reaches anywhere near the level 

of excellence four years ago then we 

will be in for a fantastic contest. 

My personal highlight of the year 

to come however will be The Lions 

in South Africa in June. The history 

of the red shirt is renowned in the 

International game, but the British 

& Irish team have not won a test series 

since the 1997 tour to South Africa, 

suffering a whitewash in New 

Zealand four years ago and losing 

2-1 to Australia back in 2001. It is 

the maker of legends; in previous 

Jeremy Guscott, Brian O’Driscoll 

and Ryan Jones have either cemented 

or announced their arrival 

as stars of the International game. 

Going even further back, it has been 

the making of great players such as 

JPR Williams, Gareth Edwards and 

Martin Johnson. This tour to South 

Africa to face the World Champions 

may well prove to be an even harder 

task than when the Lions travelled 

to New Zealand under Clive Woodward’s 

tutelage. 

At the moment, the selection for 

the starting XV and squad are anyone’s 

guess. With England going 

into the new year before the Six Nations 

in such poor form, it would 

not be impossible to have a team 

which would not have an English 

player in the starting line-up. With 

Wales as Grand-slam Champions, 

and producing good performances 

in the Autumn internationals, 

most notably in the victory against 

Australia. Shane Williams and Lee 

Byrne have been outstanding over 

the last 12 months and bar injury 

will almost for certain start in the 

first test. Other Welsh contenders 

include Jamie Roberts, James Hook, 

Stephen Jones, Dwayne Peel and 

Mike Phillips in the backs, where 

as in the forwards Alun Wyn Jones 

should make the number 5 shirt his 

own, and in back row Martyn Williams 

and Ryan Jones look set to 

play prominent roles. 

If Scotland have a good Six Nations, 

then their players could also 

play a major part. Players such as 

Jon Barclay, Euan Murray, Alistair 

Strokosch and Simon Taylor are all 

forwards in top form, whilst in the 

backs the Lamont brothers and at 

an outside bet Thom Evans could 

all be on the plane. From an Irish 

perspective, O’Driscoll, O’Connell 

and David Wallace should all start, 

but a lot hinges on what happens in 

the Spring and whether Ireland can 

finally fulfil their as yet unrealised 

potential. New young players Keith 

Earls and Luke Fitzgerald may well 

also travel to the Southern Hemisphere 

depending on their development. 

Which leaves England, who 

under Martin Johnson and yet to get 

up and running but have only had 

four test matched under “the new 

regime” with the only win coming 

against the unprepared Pacific Islanders. 

Haskell, Rees and Kennedy 

are all possibilities, whilst upfront 

if Andrew Sheridan can find some 

form, on his day he is one of the best 

in the world. In the backs, Cipriani 

at one point looked like a certainty, 

but poor performances have meant 

that if he goes it may not necessarily 

be as a fly half but at half back. 

The only back with any real form in 

Autumn Internationals was Delon 

Armitage, but if England do as predicted 

and move him to outside centre 

and bring in the impressive Olly 

Morgan at full back then he could 

well be forgotten. From an England 

point of view it will be more obvious 

after the Six Nations who will 

be headed for South Africa and who 

will not. Whatever the squad, it will 

not be easy. 

Finally, this could well be Andy 

Murray’s year. The Scot has begun 

the 2009 season in great form, already 

beating Federer and Nadal


tf 

www.thefounder.co.uk 

19 

in Abu Dhabi, and showing great 

promise last season he finally looks 

as though he is set to challenge the 

likes of Djokovic, Nadal and Federer. 

The Australian Open begins in 

a couple of day’s time and more than 

ever Murray has a chance of obtaining 

that first elusive Grand Slam 

title. That is if he can avoid Nadal. 

After last year’s dominance on both 

clay and grass the Spaniard is the 

man to beat. 

For the first time in almost 20 

years, Liverpool finally look to be 

within shout of winning the Premier 

League for the first time and 

becoming English champions as 

they did so successfully in the 80s. 

Rafa Benitez’s side seemed to have 

finally found a balance to their 

game and with key players such as 

Xabi Alonso, Jamie Carragher, Pepe 

Reina and Steven Gerrard performing 

well regularly, it has meant that 

the absence of Fernando Torres 

due to injury and Robbie Keane’s 

inconsistency mean that they have 

managed to staying at the top of the 

Premiership. Chelsea and Manchester 

United will carry on competing 

until the death though, meaning 

that once again the title race is hard 

to call. Aston Villa’s emergence into 

the top four along with Hull City’s 

top ten position at Christmas has 

been refreshing and hopefully both 

sides will be able to maintain these 

through to the end of May. 

All in all, 2009 sets out to be another 

cracker, and you can follow all 

of the year’s events right here in The 

Founder. Happy New Year.


Sport 

Why West Ham’s bubble may be about to burst 

Krissie Glover 

The recession has no mercy; it has 

hit every single area of our society 

from your local corner shop 

right up to big banking corporations, 

and has even affected one of 

the most lucrative businesses in the 

world: football. West ham is the latest 

casualty, with rumours suggesting 

Portsmouth are not far behind. 

The future of WHUFC has been 

uncertain for quite a while as their 

owner, Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, 

a former billionaire, has been in a 

financial crisis ever since Iceland’s 

second largest bank, Landsbanki 

Island HF, went under in October 

last year. He and his son, Bjorgolfur 

Bjorgolfsson, have a forty two per 

cent stake in the bank and have had 

a vast majority of their assets frozen 

by the Icelandic government in a 

vain attempt to save Iceland from a 

financial meltdown. 

West Ham, as a result, has been 

suffering from major debt problems, 

with the majority of their bills unpaid 

for over 6 months. It is suspected 

that he would like to sell the club, 

but no good offers have been made, 

mainly due to the huge amount of 

debt a new owner would have to 

take on. For the time being at least, it 

seems Gudmundsson has no choice 

but to attempt to save the club from 

administration, which would almost 

certainly relegate WHUFC from the 

Championship. The opening of the 

transfer window on the 1st January 

has given Gudmundsson his first 

opportunity to raise funds and replenish 

what is a rapidly depleting 

bank balance. West Ham has put the 

‘for sale’ sign up by stating on the official 

club website that they will listen 

to any offers for any player. 

Gianfranco Zola is obviously keen 

to hang on to as many members of 

his squad as possible, as his numbers 

are low as it is. He has already 

had to rely on young players from 

their academy who may not quite be 

ready, such as Freddie Sears, James 

Tomkins, and Jack Collinson, which 

is detrimental to the team and their 

development. With the loss of key 

men in the transfer window, the use 

of young hammers may be a growing 

trend, and perhapssignals the 

beginning of the end for one of London’s 

biggest clubs. 

Matthew Etherington has already 

put pen to paper on a threeand-a-half 

year deal at Stoke City, 

thought to be worth in the region 

of £3 million, and the departure of 

Scott Parker to Manchester City will 

be finalised within the next week. 

Many pundits are also expecting 

England Internationals Matthew 

Upson and Robert Green to be joining 

the gravy train leaving WHUFC, 

with Craig Bellamy and Lucas Neil 

not far behind. It is not only transfer 

fees Gudmundsson is hoping to recover, 

but also, the oversized wages 

many of his players receive. They 

are looking to get rid of Lucas Neil 

at any price, as his weekly wage of 

£70,000 is much more than what he 

is worth, with West Ham reportedly 

offering to subsidise his wages at any 

club interested. 

West Ham fans were dealt a further 

blow on the 8th January when 

the FA and the Premier League announced 

they were going to reopen 

enquiries into the Tevez saga, which 

nearly relegated the Hammers in 

2007. For those of you who missed 

perhaps the most controversial issue 

of the 2006/07 season, Carlos Tevez 

saved West Ham from certain relegation 

by scoring a hat full of vital 

goals towards the end of the season. 

This was controversial as West Ham 

broke strict third-party ownership 

regulations, as Tevez was technically 

still owned by his agent, not West 

Ham. This led to a huge £5.5 million 

fine for the London club, which left 

many, especially Sheffield United, 

incensed at what they saw as a weak 

punishment for a club that most 

certainly should have been docked 

points. 

Sheffield United has an ongoing 

£50 million compensation battle 

against West Ham but this announcement 

may prove to be the 

final nail in the coffin of the London 

club. It could lead to further fines 

that they cannot afford, and, with 

the way the league has gone this 

year, the docking of points would 

almost certainly spell relegation. 

The new investigation is centred on 

comments made by Lord Griffiths, 

the chair of the original arbitration 

tribunal. He has suggested that West 

Ham broke more rules after the conclusion 

of the first trial and is supported 

by Graham Shear, who is legal 

representative of Tevez’s adviser. 

Shear claims that West Ham’s chief 

executive Scott Duxbury made verbal 

assurances that the third-party 

agreement still existed, despite West 

Ham informing the FA that the 

deal had been terminated. There is 

no written evidence to back up his 

claims which may give Hammer’s 

fans some hope that their club may 

just survive, but what is inevitable, 

is that this season will be an uphill 

struggle from now on in. 

Hammer’s fans have every right 

to be worried; I would be too. Every 

football fan in the country should 

be worried, if a big London club 

like West Ham could go under, so 

could any. It will be a travesty for 

football and for thousands of cockneys 

across the capital. I have been 

fortunate enough to experience the 

passion of West Ham fans first hand 

and the sight 35,000 cockney men 

and women singing: ‘I’m forever 

blowing bubbles’, is a truly moving 

experience. To some I know that 

may seem strange but the vibrations 

from the voices of thousands of fans 

belting a true football classic leaves 

your legs trembling and makes your 

proud to be British. I would recommend 

it to anyone, but you may 

want to get a move on, the bubbles 

may not be blowing forever and like 

the dreams of thousands of Hammer’s 

fans, the club may just fade 

away and die. 

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Sport 

21 

Can the phoenix of English cricket rise again? 

Bobby Thomas 

So here we stand again. The ruins 

of English cricket lain at our feet, 

or so the tabloids (especially the 

Australian ones) would have us believe. 

Ricky Ponting will have had a 

smile as wide as the Sydney Opera 

House for the last few days, a sickening 

thought indeed, and you’ll no 

doubt be equally sick of this story 

by the time you come to read this. 

The news and papers have been 

unrelenting in their coverage of it 

right from the morning Sky News 

botched their so-called scoop of 

the whole affair. Reliable ‘Sky News 

sources’ soon became mere ‘reportedly’s’ 

as the matter became more 

and more nebulous. And you can 

understand their confusion. Seemingly 

in the four weeks since brave 

KP took his boys to India in the face 

of terrorism he has become ‘English 

Crickets Most Hated Man’, according 

to The Sun anyway. This is of 

course utter nonsense. The idea that 

he has conducted this whole thing 

through the media is pure tripe. The 

only comment he ever made was in 

his own column in the News of the 

World: “Obviously this situation is 

not healthy; we have to make sure 

it is settled as soon as possible and 

certainly before we fly off to the 

West Indies”. Hardly a sensation. 

What he attempted was a bold 

coup to oust a man he saw as unfit 

for the job. Everything was done 

behind closed doors. The news that 

he was allegedly attempting to persuade 

Shane Warne and his team 

from the Rajasthan Royals to take 

the job (we’ll never know for sure, 

Warny is remaining tight lipped, 

the day before all hell broke loose 

I heard Bill Lawry questioning 

Warne on reports that he had been 

approached, and they were swiftly 

denied) only makes me think that 

he was on the right track, if only 

everything had gone to plan. The 

problem is that things ran far from 

smoothly. Evidently not all the players 

were behind him (Flintoff ’s dislike 

for him has never been much of 

a secret, nor has Harmison’s), and he 

valued his own place as captain too 

highly. No one player is bigger than 

English Cricket, not even the Captain. 

The ECB decided that either 

they both stay or they both go. They 

evidently took one look at Moores’ 

record and the rest is history. You 

have to feel sorry for both of them. 

Moores was a methodical coach and 

a ‘good bloke’, but patently not up to 

such a grand task. In addition, Pietersen 

has an ego to match his talent 

and this time it has cost him more 

than his wicket. Right now no one 

will feel worse than him. Having lost 

the captaincy once it is extremely 

unlikely he will be asked again. 

But despite this I beg of all of 

you not to hate Kevin Pietersen for 

this unholy disarray. Here you have 

a man who is at the heart of where 

English cricket needs to be. His bristling 

talent is one of our greatest assets. 

If you removed him from the 

batting line up a faltering team starts 

to look on its last legs. The best thing 

the world can do is to leave KP alone. 

Moores will get another job and Kev 

has pledged his undying allegiance 

to the team. Time to let sleeping 

dogs lie. The real mission now is 

not in picking apart what might and 

might not have happened, the rights 

and the wrongs of men as fallible as 

anyone else and unfairly susceptible 

to a whole bevy of abuse from the 

media. 

How does England go forward? 

Well by now it will be close to the 

Windies tests and Andrew Strauss 

has been named as Captain, unless 

some other scandal has arisen, and 

he has been accused by The Sun or 

the Daily Mail of being an illegal 

immigrant or a paedophilic happy 

slapper. Arguably he should have 

been made test captain in the first 

place. He was certainly the next in 

line and had already proved his capability 

by beating Pakistan 3-0 in 

2006 and the West Indies in the first 

test of the 2007 series. However, his 

own poor form in the shorter format 

of the game and his slow approach 

ultimately led to his exclusion from 

the One Day side permanently. 

Prior to Vaughan’s departure a year 

later his batting in all forms of the 

game was in the doldrums. The 

ECB’s desire to unify the captaincy 

after Collingwood’s disastrous tenure 

was the final nail in the coffin for 

him. KP was the best option available 

to them, and a damn fine one 

he was too.If only he had been given 

more time I am sure he would have 

performed wonders; but alas, we 

shall never know. So we come full 

circle to Strauss, back in form with 

a modified (if deathly boring) technique 

and undoubtedly a shrewder 

tactician than Pietersen. The whole 

reason KP wanted Michael Vaughan 

back in the team was to make up for 

his own lack of experience, having 

his old Captains extensive knowledge 

to hand would surely have 

seemed an attractive proposition. 

It would also perhaps have served 

a dual purpose in giving the out of 

form Ian Bell something to think 

about. 

The real question we must now 

ask is how on earth can Strauss also 

captain the ODI side? He has been 

left out for over a year now and even 

if he is captain how can he justify his 

role in the team? The last thing England 

needs is a slow opener bogging 

down proceedings. This is the era of 

Hayden’s, McCullums and Sehwags. 

Regardless of his one day shortcomings, 

Strauss is fully capable of being 

an excellent Test captain; perhaps 

the ECB should not have balked 

at the idea of a split captaincy five 

months ago. Pietersen could have 

relaxed into his batting during 

Tests, and steadily learned the ropes, 

whilst trying his strength in command 

of the ODI team. We’ll never 

know. England fans: now is the time 

for unity, love your team, have faith 

in the captain and for God’s sake, 

ignore the papers; KP is our switch 

hitting salvation. And for all you 

doubters out there just think back 

to 1981 (or look it up on YouTube 

or Wikipedia if you weren’t born 

then): Botham’s Ashes (he said with 

a tear gleaming in his eye). Through 

all the furore and hopelessness we 

arose once more, the phoenix from 

the Ashes… 

Want to write for the 

sport section? 

If you’re keen to get involved 

with the sport section of this 

newspaper as a photographer or 

reporter, email: 

sports@thefounder.co.uk


Sport 

Goalkeepers: Individuals playing team sports? 

James Stock 

I recently listened to a radio show 

under the title of ‘The Loneliness 

of the Goalkeeper’, and this got me 

thinking. Goalkeepers have never 

had an easy time of it, whether it is 

football, hockey, water polo, or any 

other sport that involves a team getting 

a ball into a net past a goalkeeper. 

One way of looking at it is that, 

in the case of hockey or football, 

there are ten people on a pitch trying 

to get the ball in the back of the 

net, and one person trying to ruin 

everyone else’s fun. Of course this is 

an over-simplification, but it is painfully 

obvious that to an outsider of a 

sport such as football or hockey, that 

there are ten people on one side, ten 

on the other, and then two people at 

opposite ends that seem very little to 

do with what happens in the middle 

of the pitch. 

I’ll use hockey as the main example, 

as this is my first sport, but my 

points could just as easily be relelvant 

within the context of football, 

if you find that sport easier to relate 

to. To start with, the goalkeeper is 

wearing completely different attire. 

It is a stated rule in both hockey and 

football that the keeper must wear 

a jersey that is entirely different in 

colour to that of the rest of his team, 

and also of the opposition side. In 

hockey, the extent of the padding 

that a keeper wears for protection 

makes it seem that Robo-Cop has 

entered the fray. Clearly, even just 

appearances alone set the keeper 

apart from any other players on the 

pitch. 

Keepers also need to be very good 

at what they do. This is not just an 

egotistical boost on my part, but 

to validate this claim I’ll compare 

a keeper’s job to that of a striker. If 

a striker has ten shots on goal in a 

game, scores two but misses the 

other eight, it will still be considered 

that that striker had a good game. 

By contrast, if a keeper misses eight 

shots and saves two, the team are 

in considerable trouble. A striker 

could potentially have several opportunities 

to prove his worth to the 

team, whereas a keeper has to do 

it all game, every game, or the side 

stands a much bigger chance of losing. 

This puts an enormous amount 

of pressure on a keeper. Whilst a 

keeper could argue that there are ten 

other players acting as a first line of 

defence, and if the keeper has to do 

anything then it suggests a substantial 

failure of everyone else in front 

of him, this is not always applicable. 

Instances of keeper error often 

results in conceding a goal, but as 

aforementioned, one mistake by a 

goalkeeper is far more catastrophic 

than any other mistake any other 

player on the pitch can make. Every 

player on the pitch has a line of defence 

behind them upon which they 

can rely; all, except for the keeper. 

Admittedly, this added pressure 

and spotlight on a goalkeeper can 

produce benefits. Because everything 

a keeper does gets seen, as it 

is the last line of defence before the 

goal, everything they do well gets 

added praise and respect from team 

mates. By contrast, it is possible for 

a midfielder to make a run that distracts 

a defender, which opens a gap 

for someone else to score. This is an 

example of something critical to a 

goal going unnoticed. 

But in order to succeed, a keeper 

has to be mentally strong. In the 

knowledge that they are the last 

line of defence, there is an incredible 

amount of pressure not to let 

the side down. Their job is to protect 

the goal, organise the defence 

and their marking, and clear the 

ball from danger. Failure to do any 

of these jobs at any given time ultimately 

leaves the goal largely if not 

completely unprotected, and this 

is when the criticism will start appearing 

from all angles, regardless 

of whether or not the keeper is to 

blame. 

This is why I’m trying to argue 

that goalkeepers are individuals in 

a team sport. The unique status of 

a keeper in sports such as hockey 

means that whilst their actions are 

for the team, there is no one else who 

can do what they do. In hockey especially, 

there are very few similarities 

between the keeper and anyone 

else in the outfield, consequentially 

leading to a huge sense of individualism. 

This turns full circle neatly 

back to the original statement: are 

goalkeeperss just individuals in 

team sports? Yes, but through no 

fault of their own; the sports where 

goalkeepers are singled out by regulations 

create the conditions where 

a goalkeeper becomes an individual, 

and it is because of this that they occasionally 

come in for unfair criticism 

when the going gets tough, regardless 

of whether or not they are 

to blame. The leading manufacturer 

of goalkeeping products for hockey 

is OBO, and one of their slogans is 

“Goalkeepers are amazing people”. I 

hope you’ll now agree.


Sport 

23 

Crossword & Sudoku 

Easy Medium Hard 

Royal Holloway 

Happy New Year Holloway! 

Alumni Sports Day 

‘Alumni day is a great day to catch up with old friends who 

you used to play sport with every week but it also acts as a 

reunion of friends from other sports. As a past Student Activities 

Manager I love coming back and seeing how the place 

has changed and also catching up with people who I worked 

so closely with in the Student Activities Department’ 

- Hannah Booth 

Saturday sees the return of the annual Royal 

Holloway Alumni Sports Day to campus, with 

matches taking place in the following sports: 

Men’s Football, Men’s Rugby, Men’s Basketball, 

Women’s Basketball, Netball, Men’s 

Hockey, Women’s Hockey, Mixed Lacrosse, 

Golf and American Football. 

Pride has never been more at stake as the current 

students face off against students past 

for what – let’s be honest – are pretty important 

bragging rights. 

However, it is not just about the action itself, 

but the reuniting of old team mates, and to 

catch up with those who some may have not 

seen for years… and, in true Holloway style, 

afterwards, there will be post-match drinks 

and a social in Medicine, followed by the 

Student’s Union. 

Photos from past Alumni 

Sports Days 

Support is much appreciated by all teams, 

so if you are on campus and just don’t fancy 

writing that essay or reading those books, 

get down to Nobles or look around Campus 

for some exceptional rivalry and competition. 

All in all it seems set to be a fantastic day and 

you will be able to find information on the 

day’s events in the next copy of The Founder.

Holloway mourns death of student - The Founder

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