HARBEN LETS HL - The Founder

E X T R A 

Gerard Butler 

An interview on 

his latest movie 

Pages 12-13 

Sport 2009 

In review, 

in pictures 

Pages 27, 28 & 29 

thefounder 

the independent student newspaper of royal holloway, university of london 

free! 

Volume 4 | Issue 5 

Wednesday 9 December 2009 

thefounder.co.uk 

Christmas Edition! 

RHUL physicists 

question the origin 

of the universe 

Ed Harper 

News Editor 

The Windsor Building literally going green at Royal Holloway 

Photograph: Tom Shore 

Holloway taking a stand 

against climate change 

Alissa Bevan 

10:10 is an innovative environmental 

campaign that aims to reduce the 

UK’s carbon emissions by 10% in 

2010. 

The idea was devised by Franny 

Armstrong, the director of The Age 

of Stupid, which was screened in 

the Windsor Auditorium on 24th 

November. The team behind 10:10 

argue that the aim for a 10% reduction 

in twelve months, though ambitious, 

is both realistic and achievable; 

especially compared with the 

far-off and daunting targets set by 

politicians, such as an 80% cut by 

2050. 

Recognising the need to engage 

public action for positive results 

10:10 encourages individuals, organisations 

and businesses to sign up 

on the official website, www.1010uk. 

org, which also includes helpful tips 

Continued on page 3 » 

The Large Hadron Collider, 

which initially broke down, 

is now running smoothly and 

pushing the boundaries of human 

knowledge in Geneva 

Photograph: Mark Hillary 

When the Large Hadron Collider 

broke down during its maiden experiment, 

fears that Switzerland and 

indeed our corner of the universe 

would be sucked into a black hole 

were quickly quelled. Despite the 

more pessimistic members of the 

world’s press detecting a black hole 

where £2.6 billion of funding had 

once been, the Hadron Collider is 

once more operational and pushing 

the boundaries of human knowledge 

involving several Royal Holloway 

physicists. 

As a founding member of the 

ATLAS group, an international collaboration 

of over 170 university 

research groups studying data received 

at the ATLAS sensor of the 

Hadron Collider, physicists at Royal 

Holloway will be analysing the collisions 

for “new physics”, the origins 

of mass itself and the properties of 

the top quark, the heaviest fundamental 

particle known to date. 

Dr Pedro Teixeira-Dias, leader of 

the ATLAS group at Royal Holloway, 

said, “This is all very exciting. 

These successes at the LHC mark 

the start of a journey into new physics 

territory and are expected to lead 

to some major new scientific discoveries”. 

Professor Grahame Blair, leader 

of the Centre for Particle Physics at 

Royal Holloway, said, “This is great 

for the whole particle physics group. 

Our experimentalists, theorists, and 

accelerator scientists are all working 

hard at the LHC frontier; this is the 

first step of a very exciting journey”. 

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Living in The Age of 

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Alissa bevan fills us in on this 

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Comment & Debate 

Selling ourselves short? The 

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david armitage highlights a growing 

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2 The Founder | Wednesday 9 December 2009 

The Founder 

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tf editorial team 

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Editor-in-Chief 

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Editor 

Tom Matthews 

Chief Sub-Editor 

Camille Nedelec-Lucas 

News Editor 

Ed Harper 


Editor 

David Armitage 

Features Editor 

Thomas Seal 

Editor of Extra 

Camron Miller 

Film Editor 

Daniel Collard 

Music Editor 

Jack Ingram 

Arts Editor 

Alexandra Kinman 

Sport Editor 

Lucy McCarthy 

Pictures Editor 

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Designed by 

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The views expressed in this publication are those of the author and not necessarily those of the Editor-in-Chief or of 

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© The Founder Publications Ltd. 2009, 53 Glebe Road, Egham Surrey, TW20 8BU 

Merry Christmas to all, 

and to all a good break! 

On behalf of the board, the contributors, the advertisers, and everyone else who 

helps make The Founder a success, we wish you a very Merry Christmas! 

Today is The Founder’s third birthday and we would like to thank everyone who has 

helped us over the past few years. 

In the New Year, as usual, we will be holding our birthday party at Liquid Nightclub in 

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thefounder 

The original newspaper and free voice of Royal Holloway, University of London 

Digital education: from literature on the laptop to art on the iPhone 

Photograph: Alessandro Pautasso 

Universities lead the 

way to the Digital Age 

Amy Johnston 

Learning at university no longer revolves 

around frantic note taking in 

lectures and skimming through the 

indexes of countless library books in 

search of references, as universities 

increasingly turn towards electronic 

resources. 

At the University of Westminster, 

lecturer Russell Stannard came up 

with a creative and efficient new 

method of marking essays. Instead 

of traditionally scribbling notes in 

the margins, Mr Stannard recorded 

himself going through each essay 

with suggestions and corrections 

and e-mailed the videos to his students. 

He has also made videos detailing 

exactly what he expects from 

coursework, which students can 

watch for guidance as they plan it; 

and more general videos that give 

feedback covering a whole class. 

“It’s useful because I don’t have to 

go through that in the next lesson,” 

he says. “I can provide it on the internet 

or on the virtual learning environment. 

Students say they love it 

and look at it when they need it. It 

saves me a lot of time. And I only 

have to make one.” Mr Stannard 

has won various awards and funding 

for his contributions, including 

a national prize at the Times Higher 

awards in 2008. This recognition led 

to funding from JISC, the body that 

inspires universities and colleges to 

make innovative use of digital technology. 

Critics have argued that students 

are merely being spoon-fed the information 

by such use of digital resources, 

becoming complacent and 

lackadaisical in their approach to 

education, but this is an unfair assessment. 

With more information 

available than ever before that is 

continually increasing at a phenomenal 

rate, the need to be able to find 

relevant information quickly has 

never been so important. 

With the need for universities 

to stay on top of technology and 

work closely with big business so 

as to providing graduates with optimum 

sets of skills for the future, 

David Docherty, Chief Executive 

of the Council for Industry and 

Higher Education (CIHE) he said: 

“all across the globe governments 

are promoting digital industries 

and, having been an analogue world 

leader, Britain runs the risk of becoming 

digital second string unless 

we totally commit ourselves to 

healthy digital and creative industries.” 

With universities now playing 

a crucial role in bringing Britain up 

to speed in the digital age, CIHE has 

launched the first of a series of task 

forces set up to examine the relationship 

between business and universities 

in different industries. Dr 

Docherty said the task forces would 

“ensure that business and university 

research collaborations more clearly 

focus on the UK’s need for global 

competitiveness and social wellbeing”.

The Founder | Wednesday 9 December 2009 

News 

3 

Want to write for the newsdesk? 

Got a tip-off? 

newsdesk@thefounder.co.uk 

Holloway taking a stand 

against climate change 

» continued from front page 

Holloway 

research seeks 

out the secret to 

ratings success 

Jessica Wax-Edwards 

An unlikely trio of Royal Holloway 

academics have been researching 

why some television programs will 

get better ratings than others. Their 

work has focused mainly around 

the award-winning US investigative 

drama CSI Las Vegas, which 

has thus far gained enviable success 

with ten series and two subsequent 

spin-offs. 

The team is made up of Screenwriter 

and lecturer Adam Ganz, 

Professor of Computer Science 

Fionn Murtagh and Doctoral student 

Stuart McKie. The reasoning 

behind this research was described 

by Ganz as a way of, “uncovering 

structure and patterns in what 

lies behind the television drama;” 

though it was originally a discussion 

between Murtagh and McKie 

tf Newsdesk 

about recognising patterns in stars 

that sparked their interest into the 

structure of scripts. 

“Fionn created algorithms that 

count every word in the scene and 

its relation to every other word.” 

Ganz explained. “That means you 

can look at how the words around a 

particular character change, or how 

one character’s dialogue changes.” 

The team also created tag clouds for 

each episode, a way of grouping key 

words chosen for their frequency, 

with these algorithms to distinguish 

any kind of link between the script 

and its high ratings. 

Though the concept of a structure 

for success is intangible to some, 

Ganz assures that, “these tools [will] 

help to reflect some of the [underlying 

themes] so that writers can understand 

themselves, or the structure 

of what they are writing, better.” 

Want to join our reporting team? 

Just want to write a one-off article? 

Just want to give us an anonymous tip? 

Contact our newsdesk at: 


to achieve the aim of reducing your 

personal emissions by 10%. In the 

public sphere, four key areas are targeted: 

use of electricity, onsite fuel 

use (mostly gas), and road transport 

and air fuel. Cutting down on these 

four areas, by walking or catching 

the bus or train instead of driving, 

by remembering to switch of lights 

and appliances and by reducing air 

miles for example, are small but significant 

steps towards slowing down 

climate change. 

10:10 supports evidence from 

scientists that the developed world 

needs to make a 10% reduction in 

their carbon emissions to avoid irreversible 

damage to the environment. 

Although the UK contributes only 

2% of the world’s carbon emissions, 

to contribute towards preventing 

two degrees of global warming, the 

UK needs to cut greenhouse gases 

by roughly 25% from current levels 

by the end of 2012. The hope is that 

the 10:10 campaign will provide a 

good start towards this overall aim, 

and will also spread to other countries, 

showing world politicians that 

the people are ready to lead on climate 

change issues even if they are 

not. 

The campaign is also endorsed 

and affiliated with organisations 

that include The Guardian, Action- 

Aid, The Energy Saving Trust and 

the Public Interest Research Centre. 

ActionAid in particular has agreed 

to provide 2000 free climate change 

teaching packs to schools signing up 

to 10:10. On November 24th Shadow 

Chancellor George Osborne 

during a speech on the environment 

at Imperial College London, 

pledged to cut central government’s 

greenhouse gas emissions by 10 per 

cent within 12 months of any Tory 

election victory. 

Mr. Osbourne said the new policy 

was prompted by the tens of thousands 

who have taken up the 10:10 

challenge, commenting that: “The 

10:10 campaign has really caught 

the public imagination. Now with 

this Conservative commitment the 

government can lead by example.” 

10:10 and The Age of Stupid are 

just two examples of how organisations 

outside of government are increasing 

awareness and promoting 

public debate about climate change. 

Films focusing on the environment 

are fast becoming something of a 

distinct genre, with green-thinking 

celebrities such as Leonardo di 

Caprio endorsing projects like ‘The 

Eleventh Hour’ (a 2007 production, 

narrated by the Titanic star). 

10:10 is not however the first environmental 

project to appeal directly 

to the public for support on 

green issues. Meat-free Monday 

(www.Supportmfm.org) is another 

original concept supported by Sir 

Paul McCartney and his daughter 

Stella that encourages people to abstain 

from eating meat on a Monday, 

thereby decreasing the 20-30% 

of global greenhouse gas emissions 

created by getting meat from farm to 

fork. Concerns have, however, been 

raised about the economic impact 

this initiative will have on farmers 

already struggling to survive. 

Meanwhile, the 15th United Nations 

Climate Change Conference 

(COP15) is currently taking place in 

Copenhagen until the 18th of December. 

President Barack Obama is 

to be the first US President to personally 

attend the conference since 

President George Bush Snr in 1992, 

and will also be providing a ‘provisional’ 

plan to reduce US greenhouse 

gas emissions. In another announcement, 

Obama said that the 

United States will cut greenhouse 

gas emissions “in the range of 17 

percent below 2005 levels” by 2020, 

sparking disagreement and debate 

by both Republicans and Democrats. 

This is the first time that the United 

States has officially stated actual 

goals regarding the reduction of its 

emissions and many supporters of 

environmental legislation now hope 

that this firm target will encourage 

other industrialised and developing 

countries to set specific goals of 

their own. 

It is generally hoped that the 

COP15 will act as a ‘stepping stone’ 

toward a global climate agreement, 

as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton 

put it, a sentiment shared by 

the incoming COP15 President, 

Connie Hedegaard. Commenting 

that a failure in Copenhagen to deliver 

a political agreement at the UN 

climate conference would be “the 

whole global democratic system not 

being able to deliver results in one 

of the defining challenges of our 

century.”Anyone interested should 

visit www.cop15.dk for more information. 

In response to the summit, the 

Stop Climate Chaos Coalition 

organised ‘The Wave’ - a march 

through the streets of London on 

Saturday 5 December 2009, in order 

to demonstrate support for a safe climate, 

and a safe future, worldwide. 

With thousands of people attending 

‘The Wave’ called upon World 

Leader’s to “take urgent action to secure 

a fair international deal to stop 

global warming exceeding the danger 

threshold of 2 degrees”. Anyone 

interested in attending should go 

to their website, www.stopclimatechaos.org.


News 

Debate held on 

the future of 

our funding 

Vinous Ali 

On the 1st December 2009 students 

from across the capital packed into 

the Camden Centre hall for a debate 

about Higher Education funding. 

This was part of a two day event organized 

by the NUS to raise awareness 

about the proposed increase 

of tuition fees to up to as much as 

£7,000. The range of students in attendance 

from part-timers to those 

looking to take on a second degree, 

reinforced the message that a rise in 

fees would affect students from all 

backgrounds and at all universities. 

Before the debate got started the 

president of NUS, Wes Streeting, 

gave a short presentation on what he 

believed the consequences of a hike 

in tuition fees would mean. Rather 

than helping to widen participation 

in Higher Education (with the government 

hoping to see 50% of all 

school leavers going to university) 

an increase in fees would deter those 

who already worry about the debt 

they would accumulate while studying. 

Moreover, while the current cap 

of £3,500 doesn’t allow much room 

for a variable market to emerge in 

the Higher Education system, the 

fear is that if the cap were to be lifted 

we would end up with students 

choosing courses based on where 

they are and how much they cost 

rather than on an academic basis. 

All of this paints a bleak outlook 

for students, particularly those in 

London who already face higher 

living costs than their Northern 

counterparts. However, the debate 

sought to inspire as well as inform, 

and students were called on to harass 

MPs to reveal their position on 

the tuition fee debate. This is to 

ensure that come next year’s General 

Election students will be able 

tf Newsdesk 

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to make informed decisions when 

voting, hopefully electing those that 

would protect students’ interests. 

This debate was an opportunity for 

representatives from all parties to 

state their party position, with all 

but the Conservatives seizing the 

chance to do so. 

Both the Green Party and the 

Liberal Democrats are the most student-friendly 

when it comes down 

to the issue of tuition fees, given 

their staunch opposition to tuition 

fees in general and not simply this 

proposed increase. Both advocate 

a system of equality of opportunity 

and access into Higher Education 

which runs in parallel with their 

policy to abolish tuition fees. On the 

other hand, the Conservatives and 

Labour both believe that given the 

increasing number of students going 

to university some form of student 

contribution in necessary. 

However, both the Conservatives 

and New Labour refuse to clarify 

their positions until the review of 

Higher Education Funding has 

been released. Unsurprisingly, the 

findings of the review committee 

(which is dominated by people from 

the business world) will not be presented 

until after the General Election, 

meaning Higher Education 

funding will not be a doorstep issue 

during campaign season. It is this 

blatant marginalization that NUS 

are fighting against hoping to push 

politicians into be more transparent. 

The debate in London is only the 

beginning and it is clear that this 

issue will be vigorously promoted 

by NUS hopefully in conjunction 

with our Student’s Union who did a 

marvelous job in raising awareness 

for the ‘Broke & Broken’ Campaign 

NUS launched in October of last 

year. 


One of Student Switch Off’s Eco Power Rangers (stuentswitchoff.org) 

Photograph: Andy Hix 

Living in ‘The Age of 

Stupid’, a documentary 

Alissa Bevan 

‘The Age of Stupid’ came to Royal 

Holloway on the 24th November 

courtesy of the Student’s Union, 

bringing home to many students the 

harsh realities of climate change. 

Released in 2009, the 90-minute 

docudrama, directed by environmentalist 

Franny Armstrong (who 

also directed McLibel, an expose on 

McDonalds), explores the possibility 

that by 2055, the environment 

will be irreversibly damaged as a result 

of mankind’s apathetic attitude 

to global warming. A solitary archivist 

living in the devastated future, 

played by Oscar-nominated actor 

Pete Postlewaite, asks the question, 

“Why didn’t we save ourselves when 

we had the chance?” 

The film, which started out as a 

documentary, was shot over three 

years in seven countries including 

America, the UK, Iraq and France, 

following several people such as an 

Indian airline boss, Iraqi refugee 

children and a French mountain 

guide. Looking back on news and 

events leading up to 2015 before 

runaway climate change takes place, 

the archivist comments that “‘We 

could have saved ourselves, but we 

didn’t. It’s amazing. What state of 

mind were we in, to face extinction 

and simply shrug it off?”’ 

‘The Age of Stupid’ also uses current 

news and documentary footage 

to illustrate how global warming is 

affecting the environment right now 

in addition to predictions by scientists 

who envisage what the world 

may look like in less than fifty years 

time. The outlook is grim; London 

is underwater, LA is being gradually 

eaten by desert and the Sydney 

Opera House is up in flames. 

Ema Simpson, (a first year Politics 

student who also signed up to the 

10:10 campaign and StudentSwitchoff 

after watching) called it a “wellcrafted” 

and “hard-hitting” film that 

“conveyed its message really well”. 

Anyone interested in learning more 

about ‘The Age of Stupid’ should 

visit the website, www.ageofstupid. 

net, for more information. 

In addition to screening ‘The Age 

of Stupid’ and signing up to the 

10:10 campaign, SURHUL is working 

hard to ensure its students go 

green. While installing wind turbines 

in our back gardens like Mr 

Postlewaite may be slightly too ambitious 

for student budgets, Royal 

Holloway wants its students to be 

aware of the little but important 

things that they can do to contribute 

to a better environment. 

Students are encouraged to use 

the many recycling bins situated 

throughout the university campus, 

recycling everything from plastic 

to paper to reduce waste. StudentSwitchoff 

posters on the pin boards 

in the kitchens of Halls of Residence 

serve to remind everyone to make 

a small but significant effort to save 

energy by switching appliances off 

by the plug instead of leaving them 

on standby. 

Holloway students have already 

been taking those all-important 

‘small steps’ to cut their own carbon 

emissions. By posting pictures of 

themselves saving energy to the studentswitchoff.org 

website, students 

can win Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. 

Students are being encouraged by 

Royal Holloway to become ‘Eco 

Power Rangers’. Campaign coordinator 

Andy Hix said, ‘Last year we 

ran the campaign in 11 universities 

and reduced energy use by an average 

of 10%. This year we’re doing it 

in 33 universities and we’ve signed 

up 11,000 students, so we’re expecting 

the saving to be huge.” 

Anyone interested in competing 

in the Inter-hall energy-saving competition 

to win prizes that also include 

tickets to the Students Union 

and to Rough Hill nights out across 

London should join the Facebook 

group “Royal Holloway Eco-Power 

Rangers” or visit the website www. 

studentswitchoff.org for more information. 

In addition a thermal imaging 

survey is being undertaken this 

week across campus to help the university 

assess and reduce its carbon 

footprint.


News 

5 

Volunteering 

award for 

Holloway’s 

little helper 

Photograph: Darwin Bell 

Royal Holloway gets 

into Christmas spirit 

Amy Norman 

With the tempting scent of mulled 

wine coming out of Tommy’s and 

Bake and Bite, and the first few 

decorations appearing around campus, 

it seems it is that time of year 

once more to get into the mood for 

Christmas. 

Last week saw the Students’ Union 

Main Hall transformed into a Winter 

Wonderland for the Writing Society 

and Creative Arts Exhibition. 

The exhibit, displaying the creative 

works of both societies, was joined 

by stalls and games to help put people 

in the festive frame of mind and 

enjoy the best bits of winter without 

enduring the cold. 

Naturally, the run up to Christmas 

saw the return of the RAG pantomime. 

This year saw the traditional 

tale of Jack and the Beanstalk 

given its very own Holloway twist. It 

was, as ever full of innuendos. This 

year the money raised went to St. 

George’s Hospital in Tooting, London, 

and with an extra performance 

than usual the RAG team hoped to 

break previous years’ records. If 

you’ve missed this year’s panto – 

tickets having sold out very quickly 

– then remember this is an annual 

event so be sure to look out for the 

RAG crew next year. 

If you’ve managed to make it 

through to the end of term despite 

the deadline panic and want to rediscover 

your social life, then the 

Students’ Union is the ideal place to 

celebrate the start of the Christmas 

vacation. Wednesday night sees the 

Insanity Radio DJ’s taking over the 

SU, including a set from Dubstep 

Jungle guest DJ Breakage, and on 

Friday night you can really get into 

the holiday spirit at the Christmas 

Blowout. 

For those staying in Egham over 

the Christmas break, the chances 

are you’ll need a break from the bubble, 

and as there are so many events 

happening in London over the holiday 

period there is no excuse not 

to explore. Why not try one of the 

many outdoor ice rinks around the 

capital? No matter how skilled you 

are on your skates, you can enjoy 

the open air and the beautiful surroundings, 

for example at the Tower 

of London, the Natural History Museum, 

Hampton Court Palace, Somerset 

House, Canary Wharf and the 

largest of all at Hyde Park. 

Hyde Park is also home to Winter 

Wonderland, one of the biggest winter 

fairs in the capital, complete with 

markets, a huge observation wheel 

to look out and get a great view over 

the city, and for those of you still 

clinging onto childhood, a fun fair 

and Santa’s Grotto. The German 

Christmas Market is full of traditional 

Christmas fare and is ideal for 

some different gifts if you’re fed up 

with the high street – or just fancy 

treating yourself. 

However, if you have had enough 

of battling through crowded streets 

in the vain hope of finding good 

presents for obscure relatives, or 

you’re now so far into your overdraft 

you simply can’t afford to go deeper 

into the red, then why not follow the 

example of Buy Nothing Day – officially 

the end of November – where 

you can detox from shopping, have 

a break from consumerism and give 

yourself the moral high ground as 

you think of the environmental and 

ethical consequences of the shopping 

habit. 

Jessica N. Quigley 

Last week, recent Royal Holloway 

graduate Rob Birks achieved recognition 

for his tireless volunteer 

work while studying at the college. 

At the inaugural ‘Vinvolved’ awards 

ceremony in the 02 Arena, Rob won 

the ‘Vinspired’ award for the South 

East region. Out of a massive 702 

nominations, he was one of 85 regional 

finalists. 

‘Vinvovled’ is an independent 

charity that helps young people get 

involved with the causes and opportunities 

that matter to them. They 

fund and support organisations 

throughout the country to create 

diverse and interesting experiences. 

During his final year, Rob spent 

over 180 hours volunteering, and 

he described fond memories of 

his work at Spelthorne Disabilities 

group, where he had the pleasure of 

meeting and working with “happy, 

smiling” children. 

His inspiration for giving so much 

of his time to benefit the local community 

was his impressive recovery 

from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, 

commonly known as ME, which 

had left him house-bound for two 

years. Rob described how he wanted 

to put his ‘new-found health to good 

use’, and praised the volunteering 

programme at Royal Holloway, saying 

that ‘it really gives you a chance 

to meet people you wouldn’t otherwise 

get to meet.’ 

Royal Holloway’s own volunteering 

programme, Community Action, 

trains and supports students 

and staff seeking to volunteer in the 

local community. There are currently 

over 850 students registered on 

the programme. Rob acknowledged 

the work of Volunteer Manager Phil 

Simcock as significant in his recent 

accomplishment, describing the 

way in which he listens to the volunteer’s 

needs, and ‘helps you, and the 

people you help, get the best out of 

the programme.’ 

RHUL Community Action is involved 

in projects concerning all aspects 

of the local community, from 

sports coaching to conservation 

and preservation work. One such 

project has been in operation over 

the past week: there have been collection 

points throughout campus 

for food and clothing to be packaged 

for the vulnerable, young and 

old. The culmination of this project 

will be the ‘Santa’s workshop’ held in 

the SU main hall on 9th December, 

where keen volunteers will be wrapping 

the gifts to be sent into the local 

community. 

For more information on volunteering 

at Royal Holloway, visit 

http://www.rhul.ac.uk/services/volunteering.

& Debate 


tf Comment 

Should meat be green? 

Tom Matthews, Editor, suggests that we’ve all perhaps got a bit carried away with ‘Meat Free Mondays’ etc. 

We’ve all been 

brought up 

(well, some of 

us dragged…) 

to know that 

meat should not be green. Green 

meat is mouldy meat, which is not 

good for us in any way, shape or 

form (unless you’re my mum, for 

whom it is more a case of ‘A bit 

of mould never did anyone any 

harm…’). 

When editing an article in the 

News section of this issue of The 

Founder, however, I came across 

an article on climate change and 

the new ’10:10’ initiative, aimed at 

cutting our carbon emissions by ten 

per cent in 2010. The article also 

mentions another initiative: ‘Meat 

Free Monday’ (MFM), supported, 

strangely enough, by vehement 

vegetarians Sir Paul and Stella Mc- 

Cartney. 

Now, I’m just as green as the 

next man (or woman, of course). I 

recycle as much as I possibly can, I 

switch the lights off when I leave a 

room, and I try to keep my personal 

gassy emissions to a minimum 

(by which, of course, I mean I tend 

to take public transport rather than 

using a car). 

One area, however, in which I 

refuse to alter my habits in order 

to help what has recently in this 

publication been labeled the ‘Holy 

Church of Global Warming’, is my 

eating habits. Now, before I get 

strung up and masqueraded as a 

proverbial Beelzebub to the most 

holy of modern Churches, allow 

me to explain myself. You see my 

stance is not nearly as sinful as may 

first appear. 

Catchy, cleverly titled initiatives 

such as ’10:10’ and ‘MFM’ are all 

very well; after all, they make good 

headlines (and yes, I am aware 

of the irony of me making this 

statement). However, has anybody 

considered the effect this will have 

on the farmers? I’m sure MFM 

supporter Sir Paul McCartney, who 

recently paid out £29m to Heather 

Mills after she threw water at his 

divorce lawyer, wouldn’t miss a few 

thousand pounds a year. One thing 

is for sure though, my neighbours 

at home in Cornwall, and thousands 

of others like them, who have 

been livestock farmers their entire 

lives, certainly would. In fact, they 

probably make a total of a few thousand 

pounds a year. I am a vehement 

hater of the greed culture we 

seem to have wandered blindly into 

in the past few decades. Yes, the climate 

is important, and no, I do not 

think life is all about money. Here, 

though, we are talking about the 

livelihood of thousands of farmers 

already living on the breadline; in 

2008, one farm went out of business 

every day. Can we really afford 

this economic cost to the country 

simply to save a negligible amount 

of greenhouse gas emissions? 

Before the scientists out there 

start quoting facts and figures 

at me, I say negligible with full 

intention. I am not here to dis- 

“ 

pute the research quoted on the 

MFM website, which suggests that 

between 13.5 and 18 per cent of 

Global Greenhouse Gas (GHG) is 

produced as a result of the livestock 

industry. What I would dispute, 

however, is the validity of the idea 

that everyone deciding to go meat 

”ring 

We are talking about 

the livelihood of 

thousands of already 

besieged farmers 

free once a week will have any 

impact on this. 

The research talks about the 

volume of methane and manure 

emitted from livestock. Methane 

and manure that would be produced 

anyway, irrespective of a few 

hundred thousand people choosing 

to it… 

not to eat meat once a week. Unless, 

of course, the McCartney’s are 

suggesting that the whole country 

turns veggie and we cull every 

single animal in the land? 

Another point mentioned in the 

research, however, is one that I believe 

we can all agree on: the clearing 

of rainforest to allow animals 

to graze is callous and indeed very 

harmful to the planet. Associated 

with this, then are ‘food miles’ – the 

distance your food must cover from 

farm to fork. Last time I checked, 

we had no rainforests in this 

country, meaning the meat being 

discussed in this section of research 

is clearly from abroad; somewhere 

like South America for example. 

So, if we have established that 

cows will keep on mooing and 

pooing even if a few of us turn into 

part-time veggie’s, but that the real 

problem is food miles and careless 

production in foreign lands, I think 

we can come to a sensible conclusion. 

If you really want to help the 

environment, and indeed local 

producers, why not buy local? At 

the end of the day, all something 

like ‘Meat Free Monday’ actually 

achieves is that people will keep the 

joint of beef in the freezer one day 

longer, or will buy a bag of pasta 

and a jar of Alfredo sauce which, 

combined, probably have twice the 

‘food miles’ as any meat. 

If we really want to reduce ‘food 

miles’ and stop the rainforest being 

destroyed to give Daisy room to 

graze, we should concentrate on 

buying local, not blaming meat 

and boycotting it in favour of 

other food produce which is, to the 

holy Church of Global Warming, 

probably just as sinful in actuality. 

Buy from your local butcher, 

or at the very least check you are 

buying certified British Meat in the 

supermarket. This is a far more sensible 

approach than a new catchynamed 

fad which, to all intents and 

purposes, will achieve very little 

in what is likely to be a limited 

lifespan before the disciples of the 

Church of Global Warming find a 

new deity to worship. 

Mind you, I guess the problem is 

that ‘Locally Sourced Food Monday’ 

doesn’t have quite the same



Don’t like what you’re reading? 

Got a different point of view? 

Email David, our Comment & Debate Editor, at comment@thefounder.co.uk 

7 

The most recent droppings of 

the Pidgeon administration 

The Founder’s new political satirist, Bill O’Reilly, froths about the current state of affairs at SURHUL 

What makes 

me qualified 

for this job? I 

hear you cry, 

bloodthirsty 

for political analysis, waving your 

notepads and reading glasses in 

a threatening manner. Well fair 

readers, I will tell you. I’m currently 

doing a PhD in politics so yeah, if 

you disagree with me you’re wrong 

basically. 

No, no, but seriously, any criticisms 

you may have of this I will 

happily ignore. 

But anyway, first order of business: 

The Age of Stupid. After first 

being assured that this was not the 

pet name for the current presidency 

I was led to discover it was one of 

those ever so popular ineffective 

non-issues that like a shiny thing to 

catch a baby’s attention, draws us 

away from the key issues. Although, 

to be fair, what could be worse 

than a man living in a devastated, 

rubbish-filled future in 2055. Oh, 

well maybe having to sit through 

a rubbish-filled ‘powerful dramadocumentary’ 

in the present day!! 

(I’m sorry that wasn’t very witty, but 

frankly my rage clouds my literary 

prowess. And for those of you with 

a snide remark on the tips of their 

tongues, I am often rageful). (And 

yes, I know rageful is not a word 

but it just sounds good). Perhaps 

the only thing more unlikely than 

anyone turning up to this event is 

the achievement of the goals that 

this farcical movement is aiming 

for. A reduction of 10% of carbon 

emissions in 2010 alone!? Carbon 

emissions probably rose by 10% for 

airing that stupid movie round the 

country (For those of you who like 

the literal things in life, it’s called 

gross exaggeration). 

Now that we’ve all been sidetracked 

away by this carnival 

sideshow of a policy act, we can 

return to the key issues that this 

administration should be focussing 

on. And speaking of carnivals 

we can start with that spectacle 

of a roundhouse tent outside the 

student union building. For fair 

dues, as a now and then smoker 

(please don’t judge, as I am not one 

to criticise others for their actions), 

it is of great benefit to all those who 

attend events at the students’ union 

and shows a profound and direct 

response to the voice of the people. 

“ 

Consider the new 

changes this year to 

the dated ‘fresh’ and 

‘fruity’ nights which 

were so fervently 

promised. Oh, hold on 

a minute, erm, yeah, 

they’re still the same 

However, what doesn’t sit well best to keep my identity a secret, 

is the costs that it has incurred. It not just because I’m a superhero 

warms my heart to know that the but because it has been known for 

three grand I pay a year doesn’t presidential administrations to 

actually go to my education but commit acts of domestic terrorism, 

into basic infrastructure that should not that President Pidgeon would 

already be provided for and frankly, do anything of the sort I’m sure, 

looking at my department, it shows. but all the same. Also, if you could 

Oh, probably important to discover who I am by my writing 

reveal at this point that I’m not style and content I would be greatly 

a PhD politics student, I think it impressed. 

”not. 

Yet, I digress, as I was speaking 

of the union; it is appropriate to 

consider the new changes this year 

to the dated fresh and fruity nights 

which were so fervently promised. 

Oh, hold on a minute, erm, yeah, 

they’re still the same. 

Under our most beloved David 

Cummins we have had some greatly 

unproductive discussions on what 

changes can be made, which have 

effectively led to no changes at all. If 

anything, the night’s structures have 

become even more rigid. When 

I do the robot on the dancefloor 

people look at me and consider that 

I’m being too non-conformist. But 

what do I care, I love the classic 

fruity nights. 

Although I’m sure the good 

reader will see how one might get 

suicidally bored. Well, I think I 

have about exhausted myself for 

today. I would urge the good reader 

not to get involved in politics. Ours 

is a non participating democracy 

and I’m quite sure that the Pidgeon 

administration would like us all to 

remain in blind, submissive sway 

to its will. Perhaps when the rage 

returns I will write again. Perhaps 

In rebuttal to James Lewis’s 

‘Striking the Future Square in the Face’ 

By Fiona Redding 

I 

had to double take when I 

read this article in the last 

edition of the Founder: I 

never thought that I would 

see the day when a university 

student exhorted the words: ‘In 

Mandy we trust’. 

We hear only assertions throughout 

his argument, none of which 

have been justified with evidence 

– apart from a cursory ‘84 million 

letters’ sent per day in 2005. He 

argues that the ‘phenomenon’ of the 

internet has superseded the need 

for the postal service; further, the 

‘preposterous principles’ upheld 

by the CWU – he means, presumably, 

the union fighting for better 

working conditions, a fair pension 

scheme and other job securities 

enjoyed by virtually every employee 

in the UK – will be firmly put in 

place by the man ‘whose honesty 

and strength of character has dealt 

with many a complex political issue 

such as the revelation of his corruption…’. 

The contradiction in this 

sentence will hopefully be glaringly 

obvious for all to observe. 

Mr. Lewis’s views are particularly 

abhorrent because he shows a 

frightening lack of insight into or 

knowledge about the true situation 

faced by our postal workers – aside 

from what he might have picked up 

from The Telegraph headlines that 

is. Whilst we admit that fewer individuals 

are sending hand-written 

thank you notes, birthday cards 

and newsletters by post, Mr Lewis 

seems under the false impression 

that a rising number of citizens 

with private internet access equates 

to a drastic decrease in the number 

of letters in circulation. Consider 

this: whenever I buy something 

over the internet I give that company 

my address, and then, if I neglect 

to check the box about privacy 

and details being passed on to third 

parties etc, my address is sent on to 

the companies associated with the 

original company…and on to further 

third party companies…you 

get the idea. What does this mean? 

Junk mail. On top of all those 

packages from Amazon, LoveFilm, 

TopShop, Tescodirect.com… 

Mr Lewis talks of the postal service 

as a ‘branch of the communications 

industry that is deemed too 

important to be left in the hands 

of the private sector’, so he clearly 

does not realise that the Royal Mail 

is already part-privatised, through a 

process of deregulation initiated by 

an EU directive. In essence, private 

companies are able to bid for Royal 

Mail contracts. The result? Companies 

such as TNT, Citypost, UK 

Mail and others bid for the profitable 

bulk mail and city-to-city trade 

of large corporations, in many cases 

undercutting the Royal Mail, and 

then have the Royal Mail deliver it 

for them: Royal Mail does the work, 

private companies steal the profit. 

Postal workers aren’t striking 

because they believe that “Society 

OWES us our jobs!”: they are striking 

to ensure, among other things, 

that they won’t be forced into early 

retirement due to severe back problems 

caused by walking and cycling 

ever longer rounds. This is a direct 

consequence of Adam Crozier’s 

mission to collapse shorter rounds 

into longer rounds, thereby reducing 

the number of posties delivering 

mail, and the number needed to 

sort the mail at the depot. Further, 

they are probably right when they 

shout, in Mr Lewis’s words, “you 

can’t replace us!” We can’t replace 

postal workers with their private 

company counterparts. Private 

postal workers simply don’t exist 

on the same scale as the Royal 

Mail, because these companies are 

under no universal delivery obligation. 

What this means is if post is 

privatised, and you happen to live 

somewhere like Kirkwall on the 

Orkney Islands, you will probably 

receive your post twice every year. 

Support the postal worker: in a 

fair deal we trust.



Selling 

ourselves short? 

The exploitation 

of internships 

David Armitage 

Comment & Debate Editor 

Most of our 

prospects when 

we leave here 

are shockingly 

bleak. As we 

rapidly approach the end of our degrees, 

and fear of the future begins 

to kick in, it’s inevitable and right 

that finalists look to the future, and 

try to plan what it is that we’ll do 

with ourselves after graduation. I 

have to say, the opportunities cupboard 

is looking pretty bare. You 

can either: 

1. Continue into postgraduate 

study 

2. Take a year out, bury your 

head in the sand and hope things 

look a bit brighter a year on 

3. Apply for internships 

(4. Take the entrepreneurial route 

and have a stab at setting up your 

own business! – Ed.) 

I don’t intend to discuss the merits 

of the first two options, but the 

third is in dire need of debate. 

Although, obviously, in such a 

poor economic climate, we should 

be willing to lower our expectations 

a little, an internship culture has 

grown up in this country that preys 

on graduates’ combination of ambition, 

fear, and doubt, in a manner 

which is frequently exploitative and 

unfair. 

It looks, in addition, to be getting 

worse. In what is undeniably an 

employers’ market, graduates are 

increasingly being asked to work 

full-time, with no mentoring to 

provide true value for the intern, no 

prospects of advancement, and for 

no pay or even expenses. Some interns 

have reported that recessionstruck 

companies are laying off 

paid staff and hiring a continuous 

stream of unpaid interns to fill their 

roles, with no intention of adding 

any value for the intern or offering 

“ 

Graduates are expected 

to work for no pay, 

them a real job at the end of it all. their extortionate 

” 

or 

even expenses 

fees only add 

Living in fear of being replaced that insult to the injury of the dead-end 

little bit sooner, or of not receiving internship they are likely to place 

that all-important reference, we’ve you in. 

accepted these conditions, and are The de-valuation of interns, and 

not kicking up a fuss. 

the increasing competition for internships, 

is a symptom of expand- 

Some industries are much better 

than others, and of course individual 

experiences within each vary and more diverse, people, but it is 

ing university education for more, 

widely. However, some have developed 

a particular reputation for to its ends. Even without the costs 

also completely counterproductive 

exploitation. In the arcane world of internship agencies, the growing 

of PR and advertising, appealing understanding that graduates will 

to so many, and where networking be willing to work for free, most 

and contacts are all, internships are often commuting into London, is 

frequently full-time for six or seven fundamentally undermining the 

months, and rarely lead to employment. 

best jobs open to all. Even if univer- 

egalitarian mission of making the 

In my own field, politics, MPs, sity is now open to all, regardless of 

who have the audacity to claim that wealth, the assumptions of modern 

they get paid ‘peanuts’, and who, internships mean that graduate 

despite the expenses scandal still jobs are open only those graduates 

whose parents can use their 

have sizable expenses accounts, 

frequently staff their offices with a networks to find their children 

stream of unpaid research interns. positions, and can afford to support 

My personal experience in trying them through months and years of 

to find an internship in American unpaid labour. 

politics was that, in the absence After a report on social mobility 

delivered by ex-minister Alan 

of personal or family contacts, the 

only way to make progress was Milburn, which was scathing of 

to pay ‘internship institutes’ vast the inequality of internships, the 

sums of money to make contacts government has started a service 

with potential employers. Being called the ‘Graduate Talent Pool’, 

lucky enough to have some family 

contacts, I learnt that the true jobs and internships. However, a 

which aims to match graduates to 

condition for being a congressional quick search of the service shows 

intern, for the vast majority of that the vast majority of places offered 

are unpaid, and so do nothing 

Senators and Representatives, was 

for your parents to have donated to address the problem. 

a sizeable sum to their re-election Personally, I count myself lucky… 

coffers. Internship ‘institutes’ or at least the military is still willing to 

introductory services are a huge pay when I sign my life away. 

growth industry in the UK, and 

et. Nobody 

could feel that the country owed 

them employment regardless of 

their worth. Nobody could argue 

that providing (or inventing?) jobs 

is more important than development, 

progress and the future. 

Nobody, that is, except the 

Communication Workers’ Union 

(CWU); the organisation, that went 

on strike on these principles. 

If the question of prioritising employment 

seems a little less absurd 

to you than the others, let’s consider 

the effects that this contrived application 

of Marxist theory would 

in the hands of 

the private sector. 

Thankfully however, the future of 

our much loved ‘posties’ and their 

preposterous principles, rests in the 

hands of the Royal Mail and our 

Business secretary, Lord Mandelson. 

This is the man whose honesty 

and strength of character has dealt 

with many a complex political issue 

such as the revelation of his corruption 

and subsequent resignation 

both in 1998 and 2001. Surely his 

heroically hard bargaining diplomacy 

will be able to defend capitalism 

in the face of idiocy. In Mandy 

we trust. 

A brief 

response 

to Tom 

Greenaway 

Dave Paxton joins 

the debate on the value 

of degrees sparked off 

by Jessica Freeman in 

the this year’s first issue 

of The Founder 

Tom Greenaway wrote, in last 

month’s edition of The Founder, 

that the expansion of universities is 

a positive thing, and that the classic 

degrees (History, English, and Law) 

should accept vastly reduced numbers 

of people, so that the rest of us 

A response to a response 

of a response: the Cycle 

of Bilge continues... 

By Daniel Collard 

Normally, I would 

have no interest in 

getting involved in a 

rather stale journalistic 

debate, but 

something about the latest chapter 

in the incredibly moot discussion of 

what/who should be taught at university 

sure got my dander up. In 

the last issue of The Founder, Dave 

Paxton responded to Tom Greenaway’s 

response to Jessica Freeman’s 

initial argument; Paxton’s limp 

argument wasn’t so much a case of 

flogging a dead horse, but rather, 

conjured up the image of someone 

whipping the proverbially expired 

equid with a fistful of wet noodles. 

Mr. Paxton’s main gripe seemed 

to be that students taking vocational 

or career-orientated degrees, 

especially in the business and 

management sectors, which are 

“drill[ing] many facts and figures 

into the mind” whilst teaching “no 

practical knowledge”. The problem, 

as he sees it, it that graduates of 

such degrees will be gifted higherup 

positions in accounting businesses 

and estate agencies than 

those without degrees who have 

been steadily working their way 

up, and that’s just not fair! He cited 

a particular example of his gap 

year job in Waterstones watching 

“university graduates flashing paperwork 

and lipsick” being ‘spoonfed’ 

managerial positions that the 

long-term staff were therefore being 

denied. He firmly voices his disapproval 

of this fact – if indeed it is a 

fact; we are, after all, being asked to 

take his word on this matter – but 

inexplicably fails to ask the most 

pertinent question: Why? 

What is it about having a university 

degree that would make 

new graduates a more attractive 

managerial prospect for companies 

than seasoned old hands without 

the same educational credentials? 

Perhaps it is a question of prestige, 

with the company wanting to show 

off how well educated its upper 

echelons are. Perhaps the company 

is snobbishly giving preference to 

those it deems of a higher educational 

class. Or perhaps, shockingly, 

the company is of the belief that 

university educated people make 

better managers. The answer to 

the ‘why’ will be different for each 

company it is asked of, but Mr. Paxton 

goes to no lengths to try and 

explore the ‘why’, and thus seems to 

offer no solutions to this perceived 

problem (other than the complete 

abolishment of vocational degrees, 

presumably). 

Apart from having a casual 

dig at the “swathes of mediocre, 

ludicrously superficial students” 

inhabiting his English Literature 

degree – I, as a drama student, will 

hazard to say I can occasionally relate 

to this sentiment – Mr. Paxton 

makes the rather naïve statement 

that there is a latent snobbery in 

the pro-university stance which 

assumes that “only by undergoing 

higher education will people be 

fulfilled in their lives”. He insists 

this assumption “would be disputed 

by any one of the fulfilled individuals 

who are not graduates”…though 

not, presumably, his long-serving 

chums at Waterstones, who see 

their careers stunted by exactly that 

argument. Now, I don’t agree that 

having a degree is the key ingredient 

to a happy existence (I’m still 

a student, after all, so I haven’t a 

clue), but I can’t imagine it doing 

any harm. And it does, of course, 

beg the question: What exactly is 

Mr. Paxton doing here? He himself 

worryingly maintains that he has 

Continued on page 9 » 

have the op 

degrees suc 

Accounting 

First, I do 

who wishes t 

market shou 

at a universit 

Accountant d 

employment 

way up to the 

a start, debt w 

the individual 

real world’ ear 

than his more s 

graver problem 

a university deg 

will drill many f 

into the mind, b



9 

A response 

to a 

response of 

a response: 

the Cycle 

of Bilge 

continues... 

» continued from page 8 

“learnt more in [his] gap year than 

[he has] in two years of university 

education.” If this really is the 

case, than he is doing his argument 

against vocational degrees no 

favours at all by admitting it. Surely 

the smart thing to do would be to 

throw in the towel now instead 

of accruing more debt than those 

rather pointless two years here have 

bestowed upon him already, and 

instead take on the world without 

the boon (or perhaps safety) of a 

degree. Now that really would be 

practising what you preach. 

The question of whether degrees 

are more important than experience 

is doubtlessly an important 

one, and one that will inspire plenty 

of debate for years to come (Amy 

Johnston, for example, highlighted 

the issue of the government initiative 

to make nursing a degree-only 

profession in the last issue of The 

Founder). However, simply having 

a rather grandiose whinge about it 

is not my idea of debate. It merely 

inspires further grandiose whinging, 

and I will always be more than 

happy to enter into a whinge-off. 

After all, I’m doing a drama degree, 

it’s not as if I actually have any work 

to do… 

Please recycle this newspaper 

when you are finished 

Recycling bins are located at: 

Arts Building, The Hub, Gowar 

and Wedderburn Halls, T-Dubbs 

The illusion of bony beauty 

By Camille Nedelec-Lucas 

Kate Moss has 

sparked off yet 

another size zero 

debate in her interview 

with wwd. 

com (‘The Waif that Roared’), when 

asked whether she has any mottoes. 

She replied with: “Nothing tastes as 

good as skinny feels… You try and 

remember, but it never works.” 

Kate Moss is a veteran in the 

world of celebrity, so she could not 

have been unaware of the gaggle of 

‘thinspiration’ blogs that were just 

waiting to pounce on such a statement. 

For those who don’t know: 

thinspiration consists of pictures of 

emaciated girls and pro-anorexic 

statements, which help provide 

anorexic girls with the motivation 

needed to starve themselves. Kate 

Moss’ words are gold-dust to such 

online communities. It’s a sad indication 

of how the size-zero debate 

is faring. 

Then again, perhaps the term 

‘size zero debate’ is too generous. 

Several models have died in their 

quest for modelling jobs. Ana 

Reston lived on a diet of tomatoes 

and apples, weighed six stone and 

died aged twenty-one. Eliana and 

Luisel Ramos, who both lived off 

nothing but lettuce and diet coke in 

the months preceding their deaths, 

were aged eighteen and twenty-two 

respectively. In addition, the anorexic 

or underweight models who 

haven’t died yet have nonetheless 

significantly reduced life-spans. 

The very fact that the debate 

continues, even after women have 

started dying, means that it can 

hardly be called a debate. A debate 

requires both parties to be engaged 

in reasonable, logical discussion. 

The fashion houses demanding 

their models be pieces of human 

cardboard, regardless of the terrible 

consequences, are engaged in 

anything but. Rather, it is a case of 

a small group of powerful people, 

with incredibly distorted views, not 

so much shouting down as completely 

dismissing the existence of a 

normal, healthy beauty ideal. 

Case in point: Karl Lagerfield, 

in response to the announcement 

of the German magazine Brigitte 

that it has decided to use “ordinary, 

realistic” women rather than 

professional models in its photo 

shoots, called the decision “absurd”. 

He went on to say that the people 

who are complaining about sizezero 

beauty ideal are “fat mummies 

sitting with their bags of crisps 

in front of the television, saying 

that thin models are ugly”. Really? 

Because last time I checked, I am 

not a mother, nor am I fat. Then 

again, I am a size eight; in Lagerfield’s 

world, I probably DO count 

as being fat. He went on to say 

that fashion is about “dreams and 

illusions, and no one wants to see 

round women”. Needless to say, the 

renal failure and heart failures Ana, 

Eliana and Luisel suffered were not 

dreams and illusions, even if the 

world that killed them was. 

This lack of responsibility in perpetuating 

the size-zero beauty myth 

seems to be a common trend in the 

fashion industry; the agent of the 

Ramos sisters for example, insisted 

that their deaths had nothing to do 

with the fact that they were both 

starving (and were encouraged to 

starve by an industry that won’t hire 

anything healthier), but that they 

must have had a shared genetic 

heart disease. Ralph Lauren also 

showed a distinct lack of responsibility 

when, for the brand’s latest 

advertising campaign, it used an 

image of model Filippa Hamilton 

that had been digitally manipulated 

so much that the width of her face 

was greater than that of her waist. 

The furore surrounding the image 

was such that the fashion house 

then apologised, and claimed that 

the image was “completely inconsistent 

with our creative standards 

and brand values”… which begs the 

question as to why it was allowed 

to be produced in the first place. 

Furthermore, the already slim 

Filippa has since been dropped by 

Ralph Lauren, and she claimed that 

this was because: “they said I was 

overweight and couldn’t fit in their 

clothes anymore”. Just one week after 

the scandal surrounding Filippa, 

yet another digitally enhanced (or 

should I say, reduced) image of a 

Ralph Lauren model emerged on 

its Australian website; Valentina 

Zelyaeva went from looking slim 

but normal, to the type of slim 

that only those eighteenth-century 

organ-crusher corsets can achieve 

(or alternatively, a couple of months 

of starvation). So much for their 

brand values. Perhaps Ralph Lauren 

is confused; has anyone pointed 

out to them that they are making 

clothes for women, not Lilliputians? 

Though models are most obviously 

at the front line when it 

comes to this type of social pressure, 

other women can fall prey to 

such warped thinking as well. The 

fashion houses and ad campaigns 

establish a certain type of beauty as 

desirable; if you are exposed to it 

enough times (as we are in our ever 

more media-orientated society), 

you will start to view yourself the 

way the ads want you to; by looking 

at the advert as something desirable 

which you don’t measure up 

to. That is how companies make 

their money, by convincing you of 

your lack. Perhaps it’s just a cruel 

coincidence that all these models 

selling us something also are thin - 

after all, you can’t sell thinness, can 

you? - but they are there to convince 

us of their beauty, and their 

figures are a part of that package. 

We, in turn, end up admiring them, 

and somewhere down the line find 

ourselves thinking that it would be 

nice to look like that, too. 

I know that this is probably the 

point at which people will say: if 

you get taken in by what’s in the 

magazines and on the catwalks, 

that’s your problem. You must 

be stupid if you believe the hype. 

Society can’t be responsible for an 

individual’s psychological problems; 

any woman who would harm 

herself just to look ‘pretty’ is an 

idiot. It is true that women want to 

be beautiful, and when it comes to 

beauty, we seem to not be entirely 

rational, but this is not because 

women are stupid sheep. It is because 

looking a certain way means 

status and an escape from invisibility. 

How many ugly or overweight 

(by normal people‘s standards, that 

is) female celebrities are there, for 

example? The need for approval and 

the fear of social disapprobation 

are emotive concerns, not rational 

ones. If society asks for women to 

be beautiful, and the fashion houses 

convince us that beauty is thin, 

then it stands to reason that normal 

women will want to be thin. 

Ultra-skinny models, and the 

fashion houses that demand they 

be ultra-skinny, are not the cause of 

eating disorders. I am not arguing 

that. Anorexia existed long before 

we had Heat magazine telling 

us all about how much weight 

someone-or-other had gained or 

lost in the past week; but what the 

fashion houses do do is make the 

disease seem not only acceptable, 

but glamorous and beautiful. For 

that, they must accept responsibility. 

This size-zero beauty ideal is 

insidious, and disturbingly fashionable. 

It instils women with a culture 

of dangerous perfectionism, and 

an idea of beauty that is literally 

one-size-fits-all. Far worse, it makes 

women who already have the potential 

to become sufferers find the 

slip into the disease just that little 

bit more compelling. After all, the 

dissemination of so many starvedyet-pretty 

images means that the 

world has never before been filled 

with so much ‘thinspiration’.



North Korean refugees 

Living a life in limbo 

Dina Patel, examines the plight of refugees in North Korea 

Starvation, electrocution, 

human trafficking 

and ruthless beatings 

are only some of the 

cruel punishments 

North Koreans are currently facing 

for attempting to escape a deeply 

regimented country. 

For many years now, North 

Korean citizens have been forced 

to escape to China where they 

continue to hide from Chinese 

authorities who fail to provide help. 

As a result, refugees are forced back 

to North Korea where a place in the 

concentration camps awaits them. 

Crossing Borders, an organization 

dedicated to helping North Korean 

refugees who cross the border into 

China, revealed that North Korea 

currently holds 150,000 of its own 

citizens (including children) in its 

political concentration camps. 

Mike Kim, the founder of Crossing 

Borders, recently released a 

book documenting his experience 

in North Korea between the years 

2001 and 2003, where he ran an 

underground railroad helping 

North Koreans to escape. The book 

is entitled Escaping North Korea: 

Defiance and Hope in the World’s 

Most Repressive Country. In the 

book Kim recalls the experiences 

of various North Koreans who were 

held prisoner in the concentration 

camps. Speaking to a former 

prisoner, Kim discovered that, 

“people [were] so hungry that they 

would eat the maggots in the outhouses 

and even earthworms in the 

manure…Some people would get 

so hungry that they ate centipedes.” 

North Korea has faced chronic food 

shortages since the mid 1990s as a 

result of a severe economic crisis. 

The situation has only worsened 

in the last few years as more North 

Koreans are forced to choose to 

either escape to China and face 

execution if caught, or suffer from 

severe malnutrition in their own 

country. 

Speaking to both male and female 

prisoners, Kim quickly realised 

that the North Korean government 

did not discriminate on the basis 

of gender when it came to allocating 

punishment. In his book, Kim 

recalls a conversation with a female 

prisoner who said, “When it comes 

to beatings, they don’t look at men 

and women differently...However, it 

is only the men who are electrocuted 

with cattle prods. Women aren’t 

electrocuted, but we are kicked, 

hit with sticks, and have our hair 

pulled out until we bleed.” With the 

exception of electrocution, the men 

and women are treated the same for 

their ‘crime’ of wanting to be free 

of the guarded and disciplined life 

they are forced to lead. 

North Korea is not the only enemy 

these refugees fear, as China too 

fails to acknowledge and help the 

North Koreans in their country. The 

Congressional-Executive Commission 

on China found in their 2009 

Annual Report that the Chinese 

government maintained a high level 

of border surveillance and carried 

out periodic crackdowns against 

refugees, and the Chinese citizens 

who harbour them. Rather than 

providing aid, the Chinese authorities 

have become even stricter with 

their dealings with North Koreans; 

they have now resorted to imprisoning 

those who provide aid to the 

refugees. According to the report, 

two aid providers were sentenced 

to seven and ten years in prison 

for providing food, shelter and 

transportation to sixty-one North 

Korean refugees who crossed the 

Chinese border into Mongolia. 

Stuck between the Hell that is 

North Korea and the nightmare 

that is China, North Korean refugees 

are finding themselves trapped 

in limbo as they struggle to find a 

safe haven. It comes as no surprise 

then that many refugees are 

confronted with great psychological 

hardship when faced with the constant 

fear of expatriation in China, 

and the experience of torture in 

North Korea. The U.S Committee 

for Human Rights in North Korea 

found in a recent survey that many 

refugees suffer from post traumatic 

stress disorder as they confront isolation, 

hostility, violence and racism 

as they enter China. 

North Korean women in particular 

face the ordeal of being abducted 

by traffickers and sold into 

marriages with Chinese citizens. 

Recent reports have revealed that 

more than three quarters of North 

Korean refugees living in China are 

women. According to the Congressional-Executive 

Commission on 

China, North Korean women are 

forced to work in the sex industry 

in China as they have few other options 

to earn money. These women 

are entirely vulnerable as China 

continues to refuse legal rights to 

the refugees. 

China also denies the children of 

North Korean women married to 

Chinese citizens any right to education. 

Many children born to North 

Korean women and Chinese fathers 

cannot even be admitted to a 

hospital if they become ill. Hukou, 

the household registration system 

in China, has also been refused 

to these children who by Chinese 

law should be allowed to register 

as they have at least one Chinese 

parent. Any child in China is also 

legally allowed to receive nine years 

of compulsory and free education, 

regardless of sex, nationality, or 

race. Reports from the Congressional-Executive 

Commission on 

China have revealed that some local 

officials are currently breaking the 

law by refusing to provide household 

registration to these families 

with North Korean mothers. Simply 

put, these children have no country 

they can claim as their own. 

Providing aid to Pyongyang, the 

capital of North Korea, has also 

recently come to a standstill due 

to a mismanagement of funds assigned 

from external NGOs such 

as Oxfam. According to Crossing 

Borders, most foreign aid has been 

diverted to Pyongyang’s elite and 

military. 

For the time being, living a life 

filled with fear is the only life offered 

to these refugees as they wait, 

without much hope, and with the 

fear of being discovered, arrested, 

and deported. These refugees are no 

more than shadows living a make 

believe life amongst Chinese citizens. 

With all the repulsive actions 

carried out against North Korean 

refugees, it seems bizarre that 

amidst the news we receive about 

North Korea concerning naval 

skirmishes, atomic ambitions and 

the country’s relationship with the 

United States, the plight of North 

Koreans remains a story yet to be 

told by western media.

E X T R A


E X T R A 

Film 

Gerard Butler: An Interview 

Having selflessly taken it upon himself to go to a preview screening of Gerard Butler’s new action thriller Law 

Abiding Citizen, Film Editor Daniel Collard gallantly popped along to a press conference with its Scottish star 

After half an hour waiting 

with baited breath, a tiredlooking, 

unshaven Butler 

ambled into the room, and 

after a few microphonerelated 

issues, the questioning 

began…or rather it was 

about to when a decidedly 

bemused Butler pointed 

out a woman among the 

reporters who had apparently 

followed him down 

from Scotland to several 

previous press conferences. 

She seemed more infatuated 

middle-aged housewife 

than obsessive stalker, 

however, and after some 

light-hearted banter, the 

interview commenced. 

The questions were asked 

by various journalists from 

both student and mainstream 

publications... 

Q: Having studied law for several 

years, did the legal aspects of the 

story attract you to the film? 

Butler: Yes...because, having had 

something to do with it, I knew I 

wanted nothing to do with it. I was 

much more interested in the story. 

Q: What was it like producing for 

the first time? 

Butler: It was interesting. I wanted 

to be more involved and to get the 

credit for doing it; I actually wanted 

to produce, not just be an executive 

producer. It was two years hard 

work, though – a long journey. 

Q: You spoke to several criminologists 

in preparation for your 

character. What did you learn? 

Butler: One criminologist in particular 

had written a lot about revenge 

killers, about their obsessive 

nature and how this provided its 

own rewards for them. Their whole 

life is this objective of revenge; they 

have nothing else left. This was a 

great insight into how someone like 

Clyde Shelton might think. 

Q: Clyde Shelton is clearly a very 

dark character. Did you take any 

of that darkness home with you? 

Butler: Absolutely. I was not always 

in a good place mentally while 

shooting; there were a lot of issues, 

sometimes quite stomach-churning. 

I wanted to make sure the story 

was fool-proof, and so when it was 

all finished I was in a very funky 

place. I went camping in Scotland... 

then I went to India. 

Q: Did you and your co-star Jamie 

Foxx raise any hell? 

Butler: I wouldn’t say that. I don’t 

drink, we didn’t have any orgies or 

anything. 

Q: How did you get your character 

Shelton’s tone right? 

Butler: It was quite tough to make 

him three-dimensional; I mean, he 

goes from being this nice family 

man to, well, an annoying dick. But 

someone still following his own 

truth. 

Here the actor sighed and shrugged, 

before admitting: 

I’m sorry, I’ve only had three hours 

sleep. This is the worst press conference 

ever. I don’t give a shit, that’s 

the problem. 

He collected himself, however, and 

continued, only briefly thrown off 

again by the next question… 

Q: I’ve got a bit of a two-pronged 

question: What is your personal 

idea of hell? And have you ever 

taken revenge on someone? 

Butler: What? Uhh...that’s a seriously 

fucked up question...nah, 

sorry, I can’t answer that... 

Q: You were initially going to play 

Foxx’s character Nick Rice. Why 

did you end up playing Clyde 

Shelton? 

Butler: The more time went on, the 

more I was seduced by Shelton. I 

really wanted to try something new, 

but I also wanted to get the movie 

made. We had Jamie Foxx interested 

and he seemed a better fit for 

Nick Rice. So one day I just threw it 

out there that I should maybe play 

Shelton and that was that. At the 

time I thought, “Oh God, what have


E X T R A 

13 

Film 

I done,” but now I have no regrets 

at all. 

Q: The film seems to be inspired 

by revenge thrillers like Death 

Wish. Were you aware of these 

influences or did you want to it to 

be just a straight-up thriller? 

Butler: The film is influenced by 

elements of film noire, of crime 

thrillers, but yes, of course films 

like Death Wish come into it too. I 

love the elements of Death Wish in 

there, but the film goes beyond that. 

Q: What should the audience take 

away from this film? 

Butler: Well, you don’t have to be 

a philosopher about it, but there is 

an interesting concept here about 

the failings of the legal system and 

about personal struggle, about 

people who stand up and strike out. 

Q: Do you empathise at all with 

Clyde Shelton? 

Butler: Oh yeah, I sometimes get 

quite defensive about him during 

interviews. I definitely empathise 

with his struggle. 

Butler: During my career I’ve 

learned to trust my own instincts, 

both as an actor and now as a 

producer. I used to not get my say 

as an actor; I often say things that I 

thought should be done differently 

but couldn’t do anything about. 

Then later on, watching the scene 

again, I’d see that I had been right, 

and I realised I could provide good 

input into the film-making process. 

I learned to stand up for myself, but 

I also learned how to economise the 

forcefulness I used expressing my 

opinions. 

He eludes to the idea that he was 

not happy with all the appointments 

made in the film, but refrains from 

saying who they were, whether in 

front of or behind the camera. 

I suppose the lesson to learn is, 

“Don’t shoot your load too early.” 

Law Abiding Citizen 

Daniel Collard 

Film Editor 

What if the nutjob(s) in the Saw 

series was, in fact, the good guy? F. 

Gary Gray’s Law Abiding Citizen 

combines the psycho-thriller and 

revenge movie subgenres to create a 

visceral bulldozer of an action film 

that will shock you, enthral you, 

and give your moral compass quite 

a spin in the process. 

Gerard Butler reattaches his 

testicles after The Ugly Truth to 

play Clyde Shelton, engineer and 

happy family man, whose life is 

shattered when two thugs break 

into his home and beat him half 

to death before raping and killing 

his wife and daughter before his 

very eyes. As movie openings go, 

it is the visual equivalent of being 

mauled by a giant badger who then 

steals your car and your girlfriend. 

Shelton is rather inexplicably left 

alive, enabling him to finger the 

assailants. When the case goes to 

court, he is understandably miffed 

when prosecuting lawyer Nick Rice 

(Jamie Foxx) makes a sentencecutting 

deal with the truly vile 

Clarence Darby (Christian Stolte) 

in order to get his less culpable 

partner-in-crime onto death row. 

“Some justice is better than no 

justice at all,” comes the argument 

from Rice, and a distraught Shelton 

retreats into the shadows, believing 

himself betrayed by the legal 

system. 

Jump forward ten years, and Rice 

(now assistant district attorney) is 

faced with a quandary when Darby 

turns up brutally murdered and 

Shelton calmly admits to the crime 

– the quandary being that Shelton 

doesn’t seem to think it’s over. He 

has, in fact, been carefully planning 

his revenge, plotting the destruction 

of the system that failed to give 

him and his family justice. What 

follows is a battle of wills, as Rice 

and Co. try to outwit a man who 

has nothing to lose and is always 

one step ahead – two celebrated action 

film clichés in one, there. 

Foxx gives a solid and sincere 

performance as the arrogant and 

jaded Rice, who is forced to reconsider 

his own values and sense of 

justice and morality, and there is 

strong support from the likes of 

Stolte, Colm Meaney and Bruce 

McGill, but this really is Butler’s 

show. His performance his truly 

stunning, resonating with the same 

animalistic power and presence of 

300’s Leonidas, but also with a tortured 

emotional core, tied together 

by Butler’s own natural charm and 

charisma. His role in the film is 

one of the hardest to define, as he is 

undeniably the villain of the piece. 

Much like Heath Ledger’s Joker in 

The Dark Knight, however, you 

can’t help but find yourself rooting 

for him at every turn, almost 

cheering him on as his quest for 

vengeance claims yet another victim. 

Butler’s Shelton displays such 

genuine grief and inner turmoil 

that his horrific actions do seem 

somehow justifiable, and therein 

lies the moral dilemma that is the 

crux of the film as a whole. 

Though undeniably a great 

thriller, the film does make the 

mistake of adhering to some rather 

questionable genre clichés on more 

than one occasion. The phrase: 

“You taught me that,” a favourite 

of crime thrillers and legal dramas 

alike, makes a few too many appearances, 

while the film’s ‘jumpthe-shark’ 

moment comes when it 

turns out that Shelton used to be a 

genius-level special ops tactician, 

apparently able to kill long distance 

targets with a necktie. 

However, such clichés are forgivable, 

as they are partially evidence 

of the healthy influence taken by 

Law Abiding Citizen from many 

great action films, from revenge 

classics such as Death Wish to 

modern epics like The Dark Knight, 

as well as F. Gary Gray’s own 1998 

classic The Negotiator. The combination 

of large scale set-pieces, passionate 

characterisations and brutal 

violence are captured by Gary’s 

brilliant cinematic eye to create a 

film of gripping drama and intensity. 

Through the ‘one man against 

the world’ medium, it tackles the 

practicalities and ambiguities of the 

concept of justice, and will make 

you question where your own morals 

lie.


E X T R A 

Film 

Disney’s A 

Christmas Carol 

Rob Wallis 

Christmas, as the saying goes, 

seems to come earlier every year. At 

the time of writing this review, it’s 

not yet mid-November and already 

the Staines council is decorating 

for the festive season. Also, for 

reasons unbeknownst to me, now 

is that time at which the powers 

that be have chosen to release the 

newest version of Dickens’ yuletide 

classic. Directed by Robert 

Zemeckis, best known for the Back 

to the Future films, Forrest Gump 

and 2004’s Christmas smash The 

Polar Express, it stars Jim Carrey 

as the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge – 

and nearly everyone else. As with 

the last few of Zemeckis’ films, 

A Christmas Carol is animated 

entirely in CGI, using performance 

capture technology to transfer the 

actors’ likenesses, with every tic 

and mannerism, onto their digital 

counterparts. 

Joining the swelled ranks of 

numerous adaptations of the story 

which perhaps defines the true 

sense of Christmas better than any 

other, Zemeckis’ take faced the 

difficult task of balancing faithfulness 

to the text with the innovation 

necessary to set it apart from the 

rest of the bunch. Jim Carrey also 

had the added pressure of breathing 

new life into a character already 

immortalised by the likes of Patrick 

Stewart, George C. Scott and 

Michael Caine. 

Carrey, however, while not an 

obvious pick for a conventional 

retelling, is an inspired choice for 

Zemeckis’ animated protagonist. 

With the rubber-faced flexibility 

of the man behind Ace Ventura 

and The Mask mapped onto the 

pinched and wizened mug of Mr. 

Scrooge, the often surprisingly 

nuanced emotions come through 

wonderfully. The same, unfortunately, 

cannot always be said for the 

rest of the cast. 

The various Ghosts, from the 

sickly green phantasm of Jacob 

Marley to the sinister cowled 

shadow of Christmas Yet to Come, 

and all performed by Carrey, are 

excellently realised, succeeding in 

bringing Dickens’ macabre creations 

both vividly and loyally – if 

you’ll excuse the paradox – to life. 

The rest of the supporting cast, 

portrayed most notably by Gary 

Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins, 

and Robin Wright Penn, equally do 

their best, but their characters, be it 

Scrooge’s eternally cheerful nephew 

Fred or his downtrodden but amiable 

employee Bob Cratchit, simply 

lack the same refinement. These 

animated persona are simply not 

on screen long enough to make the 

same impact as might have been 

achieved by the people behind the 

computerized masks. 

At the same time, however, the 

animated nature of the film is 

also its greatest strength, allowing 

for the true wonder of Scrooge’s 

journey to appear genuinely magical. 

Whether it be flying through 

the night skies above London in 

a glass-bottomed room or fleeing 

across the cobbled streets from 

a demonic horse-pulled funeral 

carriage, it is at these points that A 

Christmas Carol really triumphs. 

Having previously dismissed 3D 

cinema as a gimmick worthy only 

of decades-old monstrosities such 

as Jaws 3-D or the original House 

of Wax, recent releases have done 

much to renew my confidence in 

the anaglyphic image. Just as with 

Henry Selick’s Coraline before it, 

the medium is used to a refreshingly 

innovative effect in this film, 

doing much to immerse you in a 

world which could have proven 

intrusively artificial. Nonetheless, 

these are but set pieces that should 

provide a garnish to the full meal of 

the film itself. 

The film inexplicably rushes 

through Scrooge’s history, his lonely 

childhood at boarding school, his 

merry apprenticeship with the 

bucolic Fezziwig, and descent into 

penny-pinching parsimony, which 

costs him the love of his fiancé and 

from which all his misery stems. 

Still, there is joy at Scrooge’s eventual 

salvation, his giddy exuberance 

a stark contrast to his earlier meanness 

of spirit, and a gratification in 

his newfound charity and humility. 

Despite the shallowness of its narrative, 

Zemeckis’ A Christmas Carol 

is as visually opulent an example 

of cinema as was ever committed 

to celluloid; it possesses enough 

earnest glee about it to remove 

any cynicism as to the motivations 

behind its release, due in no small 

part to Carrey’s performance(s). It 

is (almost) the time for charity and 

goodwill towards all men, and if the 

spirit seizes you my recommendation 

is to go with it and see this exciting 

new retelling of the definitive 

Christmas classic. 

The White Ribbon 

Matt Thomas 

For those of you not familiar 

with the work of Austrian director 

Michael Haneke, give yourself 

a slap on the wrist and educate 

yourself immediately, because you 

are missing out on one of the most 

talented film-makers of the 21st 

century. 20 years since his first 

feature film The Seventh Continent 

(1989), Haneke has drawn interesting 

reactions audiences around the 

world, specifically the Cannes film 

festival. His 1997 release of Funny 

Games (remade by Haneke in 2008 

shot for shot, line for line, and ideal 

starting point for would-be fans) 

caused people to walk out in disgust, 

and in 2005 he received a mixture 

of applause and booing as he 

picked up the best director award at 

Cannes for Hidden. However, with 

his latest effort The White Ribbon, 

Haneke has finally managed to win 

the judges’ and critics’ hearts at the 

festival and finally walk away with 

the coveted Palme D’or, and no film 

could have deserved it more. 

Set in rural 1913 Germany on the 

brink of the First World War, The 

White Ribbon is an intimate study 

of a small community that throughout 

the film’s duration begins to 

crumble in the subtlest of ways. A 

series of accidents and beatings of 

children have taken place within 

the village, and nobody knows who 

is responsible for these crimes. As 

the film progresses, the children’s 

own involvement and the mystery 

begin to appear more and more 

sinister... 

Stunningly shot in black and 

white, the film provides a true 

feast for the eyes where long takes, 

through composition and structure, 

never drag on. To say that ‘not 

much happens’ is to deny the film 

its splendidly rich texture, both 

visually and contextually, and the 

story itself is told with brilliantly 

realised action and dialogue. 

Haneke manages to hold your 

attention and keep you gripped 

throughout a highly multi-stranded 

story. Though it takes a little effort 

to get to know the characters, 

once you do and the events start to 

unfold, the film is incredibly easy to 

follow. The story is hugely compelling, 

not only by being both engaging 

and moving, but by making the 

audience ask important questions 

about why certain things happen. 

It’s not a film that explicitly states 

its meaning; rather it is so full of 

subtlety that further viewings will 

doubtless add more and more to an 

audience’s enjoyment of it. 

The most haunting aspect of the 

film is the undoubtedly the children, 

who play upon the common 

misconception that children aren’t 

as clever as adults. This notion is 

followed throughout the course of 

the film, and the children prove 

much more perceptive than many 

are able to comprehend. Haneke 

cast these children very well, auditioning 

over 7000 to get not only 

an authentic ‘rural village’ feel, but 

also to reveal the immense acting 

talents of these youths – perhaps 

Hollywood child actors could learn 

a thing or two from their German 

counterparts... 

This is a film that must really 

be seen to be appreciated fully. 

However, don’t go expecting a 

German version of Children of the 

Corn. Subtlety is Haneke’s strongest 

point in this film. If I could give it 6 

stars…I would give it 10.


E X T R A 

15 

Film 

Roald Dahl 

goes to the 

movies 

New Moon (Old Rubbish) 

David Bullen 

New Moon, the newest instalment 

of the Twilight Saga based on the 

hugely popular novels by Stephenie 

Meyer, is finally upon us. Countless 

droves of fans went to the midnight 

showing on the day of release and 

countless more will flock to it over 

the next few weeks to get their essential 

dose of Edward/Bella action. 

The big news is of course is that it’s 

now Edward/Bella/Jacob action, 

as overnight heart throb Taylor 

Lautner gets bumped up from 

minor player in Twilight to serious 

contender for Bella’s affections. 

There has been a lot of anticipation 

around this movie and so the question 

has to be asked: Does it live up 

to its predecessor? 

If you’re a fan of Twilight, the 

answer is probably yes – the film 

once again immerses itself fully 

in Meyer’s world of vampires and 

werewolves, and if you enjoy the 

stories then no doubt you will sit 

very happily contented for the duration 

of New Moon. If you’re not a 

fan, however, you are in for a very 

long, drawn out, 130 minutes. 

The habit of drawing things out 

does seem to be the film’s biggest 

problem. Every single dramatic 

moment (and there are a lot of 

them) is stretched to the point 

where one envisages director Chris 

Weitz standing behind the camera 

with a stopwatch, timing at 

least a minute between each line. 

As a result, the pacing is sluggish 

and at times the film becomes 

downright boring. Even the action 

sequences are afflicted by this, with 

anything in the film that strays 

beyond dialogue, location shots 

and mournful stares into the middle 

distance being shown in slow 

motion, draining the fights of any 

kind of thrill or tension. The story 

itself limps along and is, upon any 

further reflection, utter rubbish, 

both in terms of structure and 

believability. The film doesn’t twist 

and turn but rather wander all over 

the place, leaving several promising 

characters as completely inconsequential. 

Characterisation would 

appear to be a dirty word on set, 

with Edward (Robert Pattinson) 

and Jacob (Lautner) being thinly 

disguised variations on exactly the 

same creation. As for Bella (Kristen 

Stewart), she is a character so weak 

as the ‘damsel in distress’ as to appear 

positively medieval. In an age 

of social enlightenment, it begs the 

question of how a film with such 

poorly represented women could 

be so popular. Bella pathetically 

withers away when the man in her 

life leaves her; quelle surprise, then, 

when she miraculously blossoms 

again when another man comes 

along, only for her to wither once 

more when he too vanishes. She 

doesn’t have much luck in love, and 

one would sympathise with her if 

the character wasn’t blandly acted. 

Most of the performances, 

indeed, are just that: bland. The 

characters are so underplayed 

that Pattinson speaks in almost 

complete monotone, and Stewart 

essentially holds one single facial 

expression throughout. Of the three 

leads, Lautner is the most able, but 

even he falls prey to the excruciatingly 

long dramatic pauses and 

fruitless attempts at individualisation 

that the other two have been 

dogged by since the first film. Then 

along comes Michael Sheen for 

his glorious cameo as a member 

of the vampiric royalty, and we are 

reminded of what it is to see decent 

acting again. Unfortunately, this is 

only a brief respite before the story 

veers away from him back to monotony. 

As far as vampire films go, 

this one has to be the most banal, 

like an undead Eastenders with 

added werewolves. Why Edward 

and Bella are even together is a 

complete mystery; all they seem to 

do is look distant and depressed. At 

least Jacob manages to smile once 

or twice… 

On the bright side, it is very 

pretty. It has pretty actors, pretty 

locations, pretty costumes, but also 

pretty cheesy dialogue. Some of Edward’s 

romantic one-liners would 

make even Cupid vomit. The film 

sets itself up as romantic, but comes 

across as a stomach churningly 

weak attempt at a modern retelling 

of Romeo and Juliet. While it does 

touch on the interesting subject of 

mortality, this seems more accidental 

than purposefully deep. As a 

fellow movie-goes astutely summed 

up, “without the dramatic pauses, it 

would only have been half an hour 

long”. Still, with two more instalments 

in the Twilight saga to come, 

one can only wait with bated breath 

to see if vampires will ever turn out 

to be interesting again, rather than 

sparkly nonsense. 

Ingram Hill 

Wes Anderson has finally struck 

pay-dirt. With his adaptation of 

children’s classic Fantastic Mr Fox 

set to raid the UK box office, the 

quirky director has married his flair 

for peculiar human stories to one 

of Roald Dahl’s most endearing, 

popular tales. But this isn’t Dahl’s 

first encounter with cinematic gold, 

as this short trip down memory 

lane reveals. 

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate 

Factory (1971) 

The original, and many would say 

superior, adaptation of Charlie 

and the Chocolate Factory is most 

famous for its inspired casting of 

Gene Wilder as the eponymous 

confectionary king. Charming and 

unpredictably sinister by turns, 

Wilder manages to stand out 

amongst rainbow sets, groundbreaking 

special effects and a feast 

of loony Oscar-nominated tunes. A 

firm favourite for nostalgia buffs, 

the movie still manages to surprise 

and delight audiences nearly forty 

years later. 

Danny the Champion of the 

World (1989) 

Although technically a TV movie, 

the enigmatic Jeremy Irons 

manages to elevate this cosy tale 

above its meagre budget. Starring 

alongside his real-life son, Samuel, 

and arch-villain Robbie Coltrane, 

Irons plays a widowed father who 

battles the land-grabbing tactics of 

an unscrupulous local developer 

with the help of his young son, 

Danny. Admittedly one of Dahl’s 

weaker and more syrupy stories, the 

film is perfectly acceptable family 

fare with the added attraction of a 

world-class actor at its centre. 

The Witches (1990) 

Not to be confused with The Witches 

of Eastwick, although similarly 

anarchic, this whirlwind fantasy 

from the Jim Henson Company has 

all the grotesque imagination of a 

Peter Jackson film. The wacky story 

involves a witches’ convention, a 

boy-turned-mouse and a typically 

camp turn by Anjelica Huston; the 

result is a comically dark extravaganza 

of puppetry and make-up 

that paved the way for many similar 

family features, such as Disney’s 

Hocus Pocus. 

James and the Giant Peach (1996) 

Perhaps the most ambitious of 

all the Roald Dahl adaptations is 

this mix of gothic live-action and 

surreal stop-motion animation. 

An eclectic cast of voice actors add 

great charm to the bizarre art deco 

visuals, although it’s hard to say if 

these parts really work seamlessly 

with the non-animated segments. 

Still, there’s little doubt that director 

Henry Selick created a more than 

fitting cinematic approximation of 

Dahl’s whimsical tale. 

Matilda (1996) 

This absurd and refreshingly unpretentious 

take on Dahl’s childempowering 

fantasy owes everything 

to director and star Danny 

DeVito. His uniquely skewed vision 

managed to make being smart look 

fun and TV look boring, with the 

help of hyper-active slapstick and 

a memorable performance by its 

child star Mara Wilson. Hugely 

popular in cinemas and on video, 

DeVito’s insane invention is easily 

the most entertaining Roald Dahl 

adaptation ever. 

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 

(2005) 

Rather than trying to better the 

classic 1971 production, director 

Tim Burton opted to re-envisage 

the story in his own unique style. 

Retaining the wit and creepiness of 

the book, the film somehow struggles 

with Johnny Depp’s portrayal 

of Willy Wonka. Depp paints with 

too broad a brush, aiming somewhere 

between Michael Jackson 

and Renee Zellweger in terms of 

weirdness, although there is still 

much to enjoy. Perhaps the greatest 

delights are the stoic Oompa- 

Loompas, whose dead-pan musical 

routines carry the film along its 

meandering course.

E X T R A 

Holloway View 

pictures@thefounder.co.uk


E X T R A 

Arts 

A knock-on effect: 0.326 

by Complex Systems 

Jonathan Woodhouse 

Royal Holloway Drama Department’s 

PRP (Performance Research 

Project) course focuses on specific 

theatre practitioners and companies, 

encouraging students to 

research further into their work 

and methods as a springboard for 

their own creativity, the end result 

being an original piece of theatre 

devised and performed by the PRP 

companies formed within the Second 

Year cohort. ‘Complex Systems’ 

is a theatre company inspired by 

the work of world-renowned artist 

Robert Lepage, whose company Ex 

Machina uses a multidisciplinary 

theatrical style. 

Tonight’s performance of 0.326 

was a culmination of ten weeks 

of intense research, devising and 

rehearsal put together by the 

company, and the end result was 

a technically-impressive, thought 

provoking piece of theatre. 

0.326 explores the concept of 

‘Chaos Theory’ which seeks to 

understand a system that appears 

chaotic-the idea that a small and 

seemingly insignificant variable can 

lead to a dramatic outcome, that 

everything in life obeys a complex 

system and relies on a number of 

surrounding factors even if we do 

not know what they are. Complex 

Systems (led by directors 

Cory Smith and Lauren Tudhope) 

explore this concept through a 

narrative that tells the story of four 

characters. Christophe (Matthieu 

Hauret) and his wife Marie (Kelly 

Oliver) have moved to Milan as he 

seeks to further his career as an art 

curator. Kate (Maria Listra) and 

Lily (Fleur Mountjoy) are sisters 

and professional artists who have 

travelled to Paris to set up their 

debut exhibition with the hope of 

great success. As the story evolves 

each character’s lives are affected by 

a chain of events that lead up to a 

steamy affair between Christophe 

and Kate, the resulting fallout from 

which forms the central drama of 

the play: Marie has trouble adjusting 

to her new life in an unfamiliar 

country as her husband becomes 

increasingly distant for reasons 

unknown to her, whilst Kate’s 

entanglement with Christophe stirs 

relations between her and Lily as 

she seemingly begins to lose passion 

and interest in their work. The 

concept of Chaos Theory and the 

narrative are cleverly tied together 

by a series of vignettes led by scientific 

lecturer Roger (Danial Mahathir), 

whose research (funded by 

old friend Christophe) focuses on 

various theories of cause and effect, 

his latest study using the unfolding 

narrative of the plays’ characters to 

form the basis of his investigation. 

The action unfolds on a well 

designed set that transformed the 

sizeable Boilerhouse Theatre into 

something inherently cinematic: 

in this world wheeled flats become 

doorways, elevators, art galleries 

and can even make characters 

disappear. Four white boxes take 

on a number of forms from podiums 

and beds, to luggage cases 

and record players. Video projections 

are used to view close ups of 

characters’ faces, change setting of 

a scene and show memories and 

emotions in surreal, well crafted 

dream-like sequences. Complex 

Systems adopted this compelling 

storytelling technique with great 

skill, admirably finding the right 

balance between style and substance. 

Georgia Robson’s lighting 

design almost became a character 

in itself in one particularly powerful 

scene that loosely referenced 

Jackson Pollock’s “drip painting” 

technique. 

However the use of white boxes 

was somewhat predictable (mostly 

taking on the forms of seats) and it 

may have been a slight disappointment 

(particularly to Lepage fans) 

to see a considerable lack of object 

manipulation-even if these were 

conscious decisions. Yet as the most 

technically dependant show seen on 

campus for quite some time 0.326 

had an air of high professionalism 

in its performance: every scene 

transition was slick and polished, 

and the choices the company made 

were careful and well implemented. 

There was rarely a moment where 

this highly theatrical style distracted 

from the narrative of the piece, 

instead allowing the audience to 

delve deeper into the lives of 0.326’s 

very human characters. 

High praise must be given to all 

of the lead performers. Mahathir’s 

ardent lecturer was well characterised 

and (considering the weight 

of his theories) was a delight to 

watch. Christophe was played far 

more cerebrally than the actions 

of his character would normally 

dictate-this was a fine performance 

from Matthieu Harriet and a 

wise choice made by the team of 

Smith and Tudhope, choosing to 

place the character as a flawed artist 

rather than all-out misogynist. His 

wife Marie was played with great 

sensitivity by Kelly Oliver, and the 

sisters Lily and Kate were given 

sterling performances by Mountjoy 

and Listra-the former with a good 

sense of maturity and intelligence, 

the latter with an unrelenting sense 

of quickly misguided passion. 

Perhaps Complex System’s 

greatest achievement however was 

the company’s ability to combine 

complex scientific theory and 

highly stylised theatremaking to 

tell a fairly simple story. Whilst the 

narrative certainly doesn’t push any 

boundaries in terms of originality, 

it soon becomes clear that that is 

the point: the audience see the drastic 

consequences that a seemingly 

insignificant chance meeting has on 

all four of the characters, perfectly 

demonstrating the idea of Chaos 

Theory and the escalation of factors 

in a system. Never seeming forced 

or preachy, 0.326 asks us to ponder 

the big question of “what if?” albeit 

with a subtlety that ripples throughout 

the emotionally charged piece. 

This is a question that no doubt has 

plagued man through the ages, and 

one that the audience will have no 

doubt contemplated at the play’s 

satisfyingly open-ended conclusion. 

It is clear that Complex Systems 

never hesitated to ask themselves 

this question in the making of this 

visionary piece of original theatre: 

0.326 was a fearless production 

from start to finish, an intellectual 

and entertaining reflection on how 

little we humans know about our 

lives and the effect of our actions. 

Life is indeed a complex system, 

and-much like this production 

explored-perhaps that is what 

makes it so wondrous. 

Quills A review 

Thomas Seal 

Attending the Drama Society’s 

recent production of Doug Wright’s 

‘Quills’, directed by Roz Carter, it 

struck me as the kind of play one 

feels there’s a lot to say about. So 

here I am attempting to do so: 

‘Quills’ imagines the Marquis de 

Sade’s stay in the Charenton insane 

asylum. It has scenes depicting oral 

sex, necrophilia (fresh in the coffin), 

full-frontal male nudity, and a 

babbling severed head. Those were 

some of my highlights, anyway. 

There is also generally quite a lot 

of swearing. Carter was obviously 

brave to choose the play for these 

reasons, but we must move above 

such petty hang-ups to address the 

real issues of the play. 

I found the script to be tawdry 

and self-indulgent, with frequent, 

turgid rhetorical monologues. Even 

Wilde would cringe. I would direct 

the playwright, Wright (right?), to 

listen to the master of pulp, Stephen 

King’s advice: ‘Any word you have 

to hunt for in a thesaurus is the 

wrong word. There are no exceptions 

to this rule.’ However, this 

is not a review of the play, but a 

review of the performance of the 

play, and so, bearing this in mind, 

the cast and director achieved a 

stunning performance. 

Liam Fleming’s lascivious, lilting 

tones as the Marquis were like 

walking through the artists’ quarter 

of Paris in 1810; the perfect mix 

of pretention and narcissism. One 

could almost see the Marquis’ 

thoughts of bondage and lechery 

drift across his gleeful face. Elvish, 

as the stiff and proper ‘Abbe de 

Coulmier’, was his perfect counterweight. 

Though the only notable 

time he and the Marquis are in a 

scene together sees the Marquis in 

small, limb-sized boxes, their polarised 

characterisations kept the play 

from drifting too far up its own 

backside. The self-obsessed Abbe 

de Coulmier’s wife, played by Suzi 

Nutt, certainly helped one sympathise 

with his detachment. 

A real treat of the play was seeing 

Cameron Corbett’s portrayal 

of ‘Dr. Royer-Collard’s’ descent 

into madness. The series of masks 

of revulsion his face contorted 

through as he realised he’d just 

screwed a corpse were truly wonderful. 

Natalie Woodward’s sterling 

performance as ‘Madeleine’, though, 

led him into that coffin every step 

of the way. 

The character performance 

that truly gilded the play, though, 

belonged to Alfie Jones, who played 

the architect ‘Jean-Pierre Prouix’. 

His unctuous fumbling was made 

all the more glorious when we see 

him getting to third base with the 

radiant doctor’s wife, ‘Marguerite’, 

played by Steffi Wallis-Taylor. The 

architect’s sexual awkwardness was 

perfectly complemented by Marguerite’s 

manipulative Salome. 

The director guided all of these 

performances with a balanced 

hand, and the technical effects 

such as voiceovers and film clips, 

although risky, just about worked. 

And so as I walked out the theatre, 

incensed and a little bewildered 

at the bombastic plotline and 

dialogue, my fuming was tempered 

with the knowledge that the future 

of performance at Royal Holloway 

is extremely promising. Just choose 

a better play next time!


E X T R A 

19 

Music 

BALADS’ Dancers 

Waltz their way to 

success! 

Jenna Martin 

Team Captain 

“Girl-girl couples are at an advantage 

in Ballroom and Latin dancing 

competitions. Every young male 

judge likes to see a bit of girl-ongirl 

action...” With 4 excellent 

girl-girl couples on board for our 

first competition, and our largest 

and most promising team to date, 

we were set for dance domination. 

Imagine our disappointment, then, 

when BALADS waltzed into Hermitage 

Leisure Centre in Leicester 

on the 7th November to find our 

dashing, spectaculously horny 

judge was in fact a middle-aged 

woman... 

The annual Leicester DanceSport 

competition attracts roughly 200 

competitors from as far afield as 

Durham. With an array of fun 

events such as the tempestuous 

all-male rumba, this competition 

always has the most enthusiastically 

energetic atmosphere. 

Despite the lack of a lascivious 

male judge, BALADS managed 

to quickstep their way to success, 

beating all past results for the 

university! For the first time ever, 

E X T R A 

Arts 

we had two couples in the final, 

with one couple winning! Will 

Page and Georgia Shaddock won 

the Beginners Waltz, with Diana 

Patient and Dasha Nikitina coming 

fourth. Diana and Dasha also 

demonstrated that 8 weeks’ worth 

of arduous technique exercises created 

results (as does girl-girl flirting 

with judges), as they went on to 

come 6th in the Beginners Quickstep, 

and 3rd in the Cha-Cha. With 

so many couples making finals, the 

team spirit in the Royal Holloway 

base camp was astounding, and 

continued late into the night for the 

team match. 

We had 4 couples making finals 

for the beginners team match, 

culminating in the beginners team 

achieving a respectable 5th place. 

The standard of the novices meant 

that achieving such results for 

the non-beginners category was 

extremely difficult, but all novices 

danced fantastically, with Ben 

Goldsmith and Jenna Martin coming 

6th in waltz. 

After the team match, Ben Goldsmith 

and Joshua Sung provided us 

with a libidinous all-male rumba 

(‘the dance of love’) full of splits, 

lifts and tantalisingly passionate 

glances, leading to them gaining a 

credible 6th place. This same-sex, 

yet rather less carnal action, was 

continued by Sophie Fowler, Kitty 

Parsonson and Jenna Martin, who 

improvised a 3-girl cha-cha and 

came 4th... I’ll let you decide what 

way the judge swings! 

All of these results came from 

individuals who, 8 weeks ago, believed 

they had 2 left feet, and were 

too self conscious to dance. Come 

and try it and we promise you we’ll 

prove you wrong! Contact us at 

surhul_balads@yahoo.co.uk for 

more information. 

Involved in a production? 

Just want to contribute to the arts section? 

Whatever it is, we want to hear from you! 

New contributors are always welcome. 

So why not get in touch? 

My Heart Beats 

Like a Drum 

Natural Self 

David Bowman 

Following the dirty soul assault that 

was Natural Self ’s sophomore LP 

‘The Art Of Vibration’, comes the 

more introspective digifunk of ‘My 

Heart Beats Like A Drum’. Natural 

Self (Nathaniel Pearn) reigns in his 

more grandiose RJD2esque tendencies 

to come up with an album that 

is as much of a musical departure as 

it is sonically varied. 

Pearn clearly isn’t afraid to experiment 

with different aesthetics, 

which is most obviously shown in 

his use of Latin percussion and his 

flirtation with jazz dynamics and 

it’s when he makes these excursions 

that the results are the most gratifying. 

Although most of the tracks are 

either instrumental or interlaced 

with subtle soul backing vocals, on 

a few tracks such as ‘Midnight Sun’, 

Pearn and vocal collaborator Elodie 

Rama make a foray into vocal-lead 

pieces, which is where the album 

begins to lose its sense of momentum. 

Although stylistically their 

voices complement one another 

neither of them are able to muster 

up enough drive to keep the songs 

on track, as typically these songs 

are bereft of any real ingenuity on 

the production front which means 

that the vocals seep into the sonic 

wallpaper, thanks to a lack of a 

distinctive backing sound to anchor 

them. 

When Pearn does get it right, it is 

due to a disregard for conventional 

sound or structure such as ‘Even 

Planets Get Lonely’ which follows 

a bouncing time signature and is 

only kept company by the sound of 

minimal chiming. And opener ‘The 

Shock You Heard’ is rescued from 

repetition by a hyperactive synth 

line which plays over the excellently 

unpredictable fuzzy bassline 

which is characteristic of most of 

the album. 

Despite this ‘My Heart Beats 

Like A Drum’’s regular off-tracks 

prevents the record building any 

real force and is only saved from 

slipping into mediocrity by Pearns 

willingness to experiment. Even if 

this isn’t quite the record that Natural 

Self could have made, it shows 

that he still has plenty of tricks left 

up his sleeve. 

arts@thefounder.co.uk 

E X T R A 

Music 

music@thefounder.co.uk


E X T R A 

Music 

Phrazes for the 

Young 

Julian Casablancas 

Jack William Ingram 

Music Editor 

Tru Thoughts 

10th Anniversary 

Jack William Ingram 

Music Editor 

It’s been 10 years since the Brighton-based 

Tru Thoughts record 

label released their first 12’’EP in 

September 1999, and, on the basis 

of this celebratory anniversary 

compilation alone, there can be 

little doubt that it’s been a rather 

fertile decade. Featuring an eccentric 

selection of tunes from 

the label’s wide-ranging roster of 

artists, the CD’s tracklist reads like 

a who’s-who of the outer edge of 

contemporary British soul, funk 

and dancefloor jazz. Spread over 

2 sides - the “Downtempo” disc 1 

and the “Club” disc 2 – the more 

prominent of Tru Thoughts’ artists 

recur frequently: Quantic, Bonobo, 

Nostalgia 77, Alice Russell, Natural 

Self. Needless to say, we see these 

familiar names at their very best, 

justifying their star quality, but it 

is the less recognisable artists who 

serve to illustrate the universally 

high standard of music on offer, 

managing between them to straddle 

a wide array of diverse genres and 

approaches, yet never letting the 

standard drop below excellence. 

Disc 1 – “Downtempo” – is 

expectedly languid, but constitutes 

more than just background music. 

Flevans’ “The Notion”, for instance, 

has a monster guitar hook, overlaid 

melodically with both bass 

and piano. The overall effect is an 

irresistible inducement to appreciative 

foot-stomping. Natural Self ’s 

brass-heavy “The Rising”, originally 

a 12’’ single preceding his second 

long player “The Art of Vibration”, 

demonstrates a robust hip-hop influence, 

and benefits from Andreya 

Triana’s revelatory vocal style with 

glorious results. The catchy “Mi 

Swing Es Tropical” by Quantic & 

Nicodemus adds an exultant Latin 

swing vibe to the whole affair. Both 

this track and Bonobo’s “Kota” 

might be familiar from their use 

in advertisements - the latter from 

a BT advert, the former pushed 

iPods. No harm done, though. 

Milez Benjamin’s “Chop That 

Wood” is unrepentantly massive, 

featuring simple, repetitive lyrics, 

but a bass part that could well blow 

out the bottom end of your speaker 

system. 

Disc 2 – the “Club” - features the 

catchier selection of tracks overall, 

benefitting from the lithe combination 

of big-band funk, bass-heavy 

nu-jazz and the consumate vocal 

talents of singers such as Alice 

Russell and Sophie Faricy. Nirobi 

& Barakas’ “Bungee Jump Against 

Racism” varnishes sampled bhangra 

with a catchy bass line and breakbeat 

percussion. “Community 

Service Announcement” is Motown 

through-and-through, merging 

Kylie Auldist’s soulful voice, calland-response 

harmonies à la The 

Supremes and warm retro-funk 

to joyous effect. The CD ends on 

a particularly high note with “The 

Witch” from The Broken Keys – a 

collaboration between Ben Lamdim 

(Nostalgia 77) and Nathaniel 

Pearn (Natural Self). Sounding just 

as much Led Zeppelin as James 

Brown, “The Witch” is a perfect 

serving of Tru Thoughts’ uncomplicated 

yet dazzling aesthetic. The 

record as a whole, in fact, is reminiscent 

of Motown’s KISS principle 

(“keep it simple, stupid!”). Despite 

the crisp production, seamless 

genre-hopping and often bewildering 

number of musicians, each 

track features at its core a simple 

charm, either the dynamism of the 

dance floor beat or straightforward 

musicianship, unclouded by anything 

that doesn’t just let the music 

itself shine through. 

Myfanwy Marshall 

Julian Casablancas is best known 

for lending his voice to the upbeat 

New York guitar band The Strokes 

who, despite being adored by many 

fans, have not released anything for 

the last 5 or so years. This album 

comes at just the right time then, as 

it has been long enough that fans 

are waiting for another instalment 

of genius with baited breath. It is 

not, however, The Strokes by any 

means and as such fans will still 

be waiting for more with greater 

anticipation, if anything. 

Much of Phrazes for the Young 

bears little resemblance to anything 

by The Strokes, featuring electronic, 

synthy riffs behind the recognisable 

voice in “11th dimension” or “Old 

Hollywood”. This new sound is like 

an 80s Strokes and meshes beautifully 

with Casablancas’s voice, 

creating songs you could either go 

completely berserk to if you heard 

it live or on a dancefloor, but at the 

same time you could absolutely 

make love to. 

E X T R A 

Phrazes for the Young does just 

what it says on the tin, with Julian’s 

lyrics painting a wonderful picture 

of life for the young in songs like 

“30 Minute Boyfriend” about complicated 

romantic feelings between 

friends. Its an eclectic album with 

a bit of melancholy country-esque 

influence, set in NY in Ludlow 

Street, a sort of jolly (as jolly as 

anything sung in that voice could 

sound) sounding Christmas song 

in “I Wish it Could be Christmas 

Today” and a few songs that sound 

vaguely New Wave. 

If you were expecting The Strokes, 

you will be disappointed, but it’s 

good nonetheless. Julian’s voice 

is brilliant, melting you instantly 

as he drones through “River of 

Breaklights” and “Old Hollywood” 

- definitely a must for a Strokes fan 

or an appreciator of a wonderful 

voice. It’s quite nice to be able to 

chill out to his voice rather than 

being invigorated by the harsher 

more upbeat guitars of The Strokes, 

although this is at the expense of 

catchiness. 

Music 

music@thefounder.co.uk 

Certain songs, perhaps as a product 

of their ubiquity, acquire a certain 

aura, and it becomes difficult to imagine 

how such a “classic” recording 

could possibly be improved. Surely 

Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing”, 

for instance, is perfect already – 

wouldn’t a cover version be utterly 

redundant? Needless to say, a phenomenal 

creative talent is required 

to re-interpret the works of such 

greats in a way that doesn’t seem 

contrived. Such a degree of talent, 

fortunately, is at a surplus amongst 

the Tru Thoughts artists, and this 

record is a testament to that fact. 

Much like its companion piece, 

the 10th Anniversary record, 

this compilation of cover versions, 

drawn from the label’s back 

catalogue, has a celebratory feel to 

it, the contrivance of a record label 

at the height of its creative powers, 

exulting in justified self-congratulation. 

The 17 artists involved 

draw from a diverse array of source 

material, including tracks by Portishead, 

Jeff Buckley, Frank Sinatra 

and The Strokes, to name but a few. 

The Hot 8 Brass Band’s predominantly 

instrumental interpretation 

of Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” 

is nothing short of excellent. Band 

leader Bennie “Big Peter” Pete’s effervescent 

Tuba is at the forefront of 

an energetic yet disciplined group 

of musicians, altogether producing 

a sublime cacophony. Suffice to say, 

it would be worth buying the entire 

compilation for this track alone. 

Under Nostalgia 77’s auspices, 

“Seven Nation Army” becomes a 

slowburning soul classic, giving 

Alice Russell free rein to go utterly 

“Great Gig in the Sky” over a 

languorous double bass accompaniment. 

Although the record is, for the 

most part, a joyous success, a 

couple of tracks don’t stand up too 

well in light of their inspiration. 

The cover of “Put Your Hands Up 

For Detroit”, courtesy of TM Juke 

& the Jack Baker Trio, adds little to 

the original song, whereas J.Viewz’s 

iconoclastic “Smooth Criminal” 

certainly sounds very little like the 

original, but is rather too unstructured 

to succeed on its own terms. 

Points for effort though.


E X T R A 

21 

Fashion 

Holloway gets ‘Gokked’ 

Lauren McManus 

Jimmy Choo 

for H&M 

Shairah Habib 

The idea of Fashion Freaks standing 

outside a store at 5am for a clothing 

line launch has always been alien to 

me and this bizarre cult was to be 

in full throttle when H&M joined 

Jimmy Choo in a highly publicised 

fashion collaboration. 

As I was working in a store that 

was in close proximity to H&M on 

the day of its launch (14th November 

2009), I kept seeing floods 

of females walking through the 

door with their huge purple Jimmy 

Choo for H&M cardboard bags, 

the way in which you would see 

tourists down Oxford Circus carrying 

Primark shopping bags. This 

was exactly the point at which my 

intrigue turned to conversion into 

one of these fashion fanatics. It was 

only when I hastily swiped out for 

my break that I started to do something 

unfamiliar. I ran. And not 

because it was raining but because 

my destination would allow me to 

devour sky high stilettos. 

On a more personally withdrawn 

note, in terms of the variety of the 

Jimmy Choo for H&M collection, 

I say with full confidence that out 

of all the past fashion collaborations 

with H&M (which includes 

the likes of Roberto Cavalli and 

Matthew Williamson) Jimmy 

Choo hit the nail on the head with 

this line. Not only were the shoes 

successful in arousing the lust that 

women have for Jimmy Choo’s but 

its familiarity to his main line was 

uncanny, yet subjectively affordable. 

Now back to the good stuff, 

what did I buy? Well, no shoes. 

Even though there was absolutely 

nothing wrong with the designs, I 

would’ve felt unfaithful to my feet. 

I can understand why there was an 

endless queue for these shoes because 

the price tag associated with 

an authentic pair of Jimmy Choo’s 

is less than inexpensive but that is 

exactly what makes it a power shoe. 

Price represents meaning, the walk 

becomes a strut and for the full 3 

hours you can bear to walk in them 

you feel like no Naomi or Giselle 

has anything on you. 

So I withdraw my short-lived 

conversion, because if you’re gonna 

do something you gotta Choo it 

right. 

For centuries fashion has played a 

large part in the lives of men and 

women. Our clothes and the way 

we look can influence so much in 

our lives and can even bring about 

a change in our mood and behaviour. 

We all know that when we 

look good, we feel good and we all 

need to feel relaxed and confident 

in clothes that suit our own individual 

style and personality. 

Many of us mere mortals however, 

have issues with our bodies and 

look critically at ourselves for not 

having the requisite ‘perfect’ body, 

often judging ourselves by media 

images of models and celebrities 

and most of us would choose to 

change something if only we could. 

Few of us can, or indeed really need 

to. All we actually want is creative 

advice on where to begin to simply 

make the most of what we’ve got 

and to enhance our look. 

Well, help was at hand when 

the inspiring Gok Wan visited 

Royal Holloway to host a question 

and answer session on Friday, 6 

November. His team had contacted 

the University to give disabled 

students and students with medical 

conditions the opportunity to 

be ‘Gokked’ and, let’s face it, who 

could possibly refuse? 

With his inimitable and illuminating 

yet laid back style, Gok 

treated us to a mini master class in 

how to look good. He conjured up 

a myriad of ideas as well as offering 

plenty of advice to help us choose 

the perfect clothes and accessories 

to enhance appearance, capture 

personality and complement 

lifestyles. 

He discussed personal preferences, 

took into account our own 

ideas about style and fashion and 

understood our fears and anxieties. 

Then, he gave us the skills to 

dress to show off what we like and 

to disguise what we don’t like about 

our bodies. Finally, to top it all he 

offered a range of imaginative suggestions 

for jazzing up items such 

as walking sticks and hearing aids. 

As the day wore on, Gok’s encouragement 

and infectious enthusiasm 

was a real confidence 

booster, convincing us that we can 

and should experiment with new 

things and unleash the person from 

within. He did a great job of making 

us realise that the sky’s the limit, 

all we have to do is style it up and 

celebrate our bodies! 

It really was an exciting and fun 

opportunity to benefit from Gok’s 

know how and talent. His passion 

and sincerity shone through and his 

mischievous yet charming personality 

and cheeky sense of humour 

truly bewitched us all. 

tf The Founder 

Want to work on any part of The Founder? 

There’s always room for more students to get involved in the production and running of The Founder. If you’re interested in any 

element of this publication, get in touch with us today: editor@thefounder.co.uk


E X T R A 

Extra 

Christmas on a 

budget 

Christmas is the season for giving, 

but no one wants to start the New 

Year broke. The internet is full of 

websites that offer discounts on 

good quality goods; you just need 

to know where to look. 

Photograph: Dan Woodruff 

www.moneysavingexpert.com 

This website has details of absolutely 

everything you could possibly 

need...but with the extortionate 

price tag knocked off. It lists special 

offers and sales around the U.K 

(which is how I managed to get a 

free lipstick worth £11 and paid for 

just postage and packaging), so it’s 

a great place for beauty queens on a 

budget… it’s also great for financial 

advice: ever wanted to know if your 

student account was the best one 

on the market (Martin has a top 

three and a comparison table)? Or 

which bank offers you the best rates 

abroad? It also has a long list of different 

websites from which you can 

buy cheap air fares, and tips on how 

to haggle down package holidays (it 

just takes a bit of research and a bit 

of cheek). This is THE website to 

consult if you are an impoverished 

student trying to take control of 

your finances, or just trying to find 

some present ideas. 

www.thebookpeople.co.uk 

The collections on this website 

are exceptionally good value. The 

complete works of Jane Austen (six 

separate novels) can be bought as a 

set for £7.99. The Perennial Collection, 

a set of ten novels published 

by Harper Collins, including novels 

by Amy Tan and Hilary Mantel , is 

being sold for £5.99 … that works 

out as less than £1 per book. It is a 

great place to buy a collection for 

a booklover, or (as will inevitably 

happen), for yourself. 

www.majortravel.co.uk 

If you’re looking to treat yourself 

or someone else to a trip this year, 

have a look at this website. I bought 

a return to Hong Kong for £260 

from here. Considering that most 

economy returns are around the 

£500 mark, that’s pretty amazing - 

so amazing in fact that until I was 

actually on the plane I half expected 

it to be fake. The key with getting 

cheap flights is dates, however, and 

not all flights will be as dirt cheap 

as mine. Check well in advance and 

shop around (and that’s where, yet 

again, moneysaving expert comes 

in). 

Hopefully these websites will help 

you find presents that meet both 

your needs and your means. But 

remember: nobody likes a Scrooge, 

so don’t be TOO stingy!


23 

Christmas in Antarctica 

A researcher from Royal Holloway will be 

guaranteed a white Christmas this year 

as he begins his mission to Antarctica 

next week to uncover crucial information 

about climate change. 

Dr James France, from the Department of 

Earth Sciences, will set off on December 

9 and spend five weeks living at ‘Dome C’ 

on top of the Antarctic plateau. 

helping us understand the variability of 

the atmosphere in the past and in predicting 

future climate change. The nitrate 

trapped in deep ice-cores, such as at ‘Dome 

C’, potentially could provide us with new 

insights into the atmosphere of the last 

tens of thousands of years. Understanding 

how our atmosphere can rapidly change is 

vital for making accurate climate change 

predictions for the future”. 

He will measure light penetration into the 

snow at different depths using fibre-optic 

probes as part of a £300,000 research enterprise, 

funded by the Natural Environment 

Research Council (NERC). 

This new technique will uncover the photochemistry 

occurring within the snowpack, 

giving scientists unique insights 

into historic climate patterns. 

By correlating the amount of photochemistry 

in the snowpack with isotopic 

changes of nitrogen and oxygen, the 

team hope to determine whether nitrate 

in ice-cores can be used to understand 

the state of the atmosphere in the past. 

Dr France says, “This research is vital to 

He will conduct his research alongside 

Dr Marcus Frey, from the British Antarctic 

Survey, and Dr Joel Savarino, a specialist in 

isotope chemistry from the Laboratory of 

Glaciology and Geophysical Environment 

(LGGE) based in Grenoble, France. 

Dr France faces a demanding journey. 

He will sail from Hobart, Tasmania, to the 

French base Durmont D’Urville (DDU) in 

Antarctica, from which he will then fly to 

‘Dome C’. Once he gets there he will spend 

up to six hours each day working outside 

and will have to adjust to 24 hours of daylight 

and sub-zero temperatures. 

Dr France says, “Dome C is one of the 

most inaccessible bases in the world; it’s 

very high up on the Antarctic Plateau, so 

James France gets to work in Antarctica 

you’re living over 3,000 metres above sea 

level with temperatures around -30°C. 

It’s tough work in the field, but without 

doubt a fantastic opportunity.” 

He adds, “It will be strange being so far 

away for the whole Christmas season but 

I will no doubt bore people with the 

story of ‘how I was in Antarctica for 

Christmas’ for many, many years. I am 

really looking forward to the sense 

of adventure, and being part of an 

international team of genuinely world 

class scientists.” 

Fun at the Fair 

Students looking to earn some extra cash and broaden 

their skills are being invited to a part-time job fair to 

find out what opportunities are available. 

The annual event is being held between midday and 

2.30pm on Wednesday 13 January in the Students 

Union Hall. Employers who have already signed up for 

stands at the fair include Legoland, Thorpe Park, Ascot 

Racecourse and Echoes Community Care. 

Rose Hackett, Employer and Business Liaison Assistant, 

said: “This event is ideal for students who want to 

boost their income, either during term time between 

their lectures or over the Easter or summer holidays. 

As well as the extra money students will get, part-time 

jobs are a good way of enhancing your CV and the 

more experiences you can include, the more attractive 

you will be to prospective employers when you’re looking 

for full-time work down the line.” 

For more information email careers@rhul.ac.uk or visit 

www.rhul.ac.uk/careers 

Bedford Alumna Baroness Ashton named EU Foreign Minister 

Catherine Ashton, Baroness Ashton of Upholland, has 

been appointed as Europe’s first High Representative 

for Foreign Affairs and Security and Vice-President of 

the European Commission, it was announced today, 19 

November 2009. 

Baroness Ashton, who graduated in 1977 with her BSc 

in Economics & Sociology from Bedford College, now 

part of Royal Holloway, University of London, became 

a government minister in 2001. She served as leader of 

the House of Lords, before replacing Lord Mandelson 

as EU Trade Commissioner in 2008. 

She said: “I will make sure I represent our values across 

the world, and I will endeavour to do in my own way 

the best that I can. Judge me by what I do and I think 

you’ll be pleased and proud of me.” 

Working to the 27 governments of the EU member 

states and chairing monthly meetings of foreign 

ministers, the new post combines the jobs of two current 

commissioners - for foreign policy and external 

relations. 

Professor Rob Kemp, Acting Principal of Royal Holloway, 

University of London, said: “On behalf all of 

us at the College, I am delighted to offer warmest 

congratulations to Baroness Ashton on her historic 

appointment. She is not a grandstanding politician, 

but is widely admired for her warmth, humour, brisk 

efficiency and businesslike style. In many ways she embodies 

the ethos of our institution, which is founded to 

educate women to become leaders in all fields, and our 

motto ‘esse quam videri’ - to be rather than to seem.”


Features 

The Founder speaks to... 

...the Royal Holloway Chapel Choir 

The Royal Holloway Chapel Choir 

is a select group of competitively 

auditioned singers, who provide 

multiple weekly services in the College 

Chapel and frequent concerts 

around London. They have recently 

signed a record deal with the widely 

renowned classical music label, Hyperion 

Records, and are performing 

a new Midweek Music series 

of concerts (every Wednesday, 1.15- 

1.45pm). 

I caught up with their conductor, 

Royal Holloway’s Director of 

Choral Music and College Organist, 

Rupert Gough, and a couple of the 

Choristers themselves over coffee 

and breakfast in Crosslands, after 

an intensive morning’s rehearsal: 

Thomas Seal: What has the Chapel 

Choir been doing so far this year? 

I gather there’s a new series of concerts 

running at the moment? 

Rupert Gough: Yes; the new Midweek 

Music series, which seems 

to be quite successful, has been a 

response to the fact that, so far, 

we’ve mainly been singing services 

in the chapel, with the occasional 

concert...and that, of course, limits 

the audience; many people enjoy 

the music that we perform, but 

don’t want to be involved in an act 

of worship. So we’ve started this 

lunchtime series; it’s free, and for 

just 30 minutes of the lunch break, 

and it’s been fantastic to see how 

many staff and students really enjoy 

it and come to every concert. We’ve 

been seeing audiences of 50-100 

regularly for that. And it’s good for 

the choir, too, who are able once a 

week to have the focus of actually 

performing in public - 

TS: Do you think that Royal Holloway 

students, on the whole, are 

aware of the reputation of the choir, 

which seems to be rather good? (It 

has been described as ‘truly fabulous’ 

by The Times.) 

RG: Not as much as they might be. 

We haven’t got the background of 

history that somewhere like King’s 

College, Cambridge might have, 

for example. And also, we’re not a 

religious foundation, like probably 

most universities – all Oxbridge 

colleges for example – are, so we’re 

actually quite unusual in that 

respect. We have, in effect, a secular 

university, but at the same time we 

have this beautiful chapel, regular 

worship takes place, and we have 

choirs. So I think it’s a gradual process, 

and I hope having something 

in The Founder will give people an 

idea of what’s going on. 

TS: So if people want to get 

involved in the choir, what would 

your advice be to them? 

RG: Well, we have more than one 

choir, of course. The most active, 

particularly outside of college, are 

our choral scholars, and there is 

an audition process for that which 

takes place once a year, in March. 

By and large, that’s people who are 

applying to come to university and 

apply to have a choral scholarship. 

Then we also have the Chamber 

Choir, who are doing the regular 

Sunday services, and many of our 

morning services – we’re the only 

university that still has a daily 

morning service [8.45 Monday-Saturday, 

taken by both Chamber and 

Chapel choirs], which you caught 

the end of, today. And there’s a 

larger chorus, as well, that rehearses 

on a weekly basis for concerts, so 

that’s a concert choir. 

TS: So there are plenty of opportunities 

for people who want to join? 

RG: There are a lot of opportunities, 

and we get a lot of singers 

wanting to come here, just generally, 

because they know there’s quite 

a lot of singing going on – choral 

scholarships etc. 

TS: You’re releasing the first CD on 

Hyperion next month, and recording 

the next one in January – this 

must be fairly exciting for the 

choir? 

RG: It is. I mean recording with 

Hyperion is pretty much as good as 

it gets for many choirs, especially 

for university choirs. Other choirs 

on the label include Westminster 

Abbey, that sort of thing, so it is 

very exciting, and the attraction for 

them is not only the choir, but also 

the repertoire that we’re bringing 

them. 

TS: Yes, it seemed a somewhat 

unusual choice...this upcoming CD 

has the music of Rihards Dubra? 

[Modern, Latvian composer of 

sacred music.] 

RG: Well there’s a lot of interesting 

music coming out of the Baltic 

states, which we’ve not been particularly 

aware of prior to 20 years 

ago, with the Soviet occupation – 

there was very limited information 

coming out of these countries, and 

indeed, very little music written 

for the church, as it was basically 

banned at that time. So it’s very 

interesting to see what music has 

been written in the 20 years since 

the collapse of the Soviet Union. 

And their tradition is completely 

different to ours; it’s not a tradition 

that has centuries of church music 

behind it. 

TS: So we’re bringing something 

unique to the university choir 

world? 

RG: Absolutely. And a flavour of 

music that appeals to people, as 

well – people who like Arvo Pärt, 

who’s been known for a long time, 

and John Tavener – the more mystical, 

spiritual sort of style of music is 

certainly popular at the moment. 

TS: Definitely. And can you tell us 

what the next recording will be? 

RG: We’re recording a Lithuanian 

composer, this time - similar sort of 

style. His name is Vytautas Miškinis 

– he’s written a lot, and he’s quite 

well known globally, but not really 

in the UK. So it’s an interesting 

challenge. It’s mostly Latin texts 

to sing...one English piece...two in 

Lithuanian... 

TS: Wow, so those will be a challenge. 

RG: We’re getting some coaching to 

help with that! 

...I then interviewed two choristers, 

Tom Robson (2nd year Music 

student) and Alex Norman (studying 

for an MA in Music)... 

TS: Nice to meet you both! So 

what’s it like being in the Chapel 

Choir? Would you say it’s fun? 

Challenging? 

Alex Norman: Well I think it’s 

both, really. The rehearsals are 

intensive, because we’re preparing 

a lot of repertoire for concerts and 

broadcasts, but it becomes very 

much a kind of community, and 

people do get on with each other 

and socialise afterwards...go for 

drinks after services, and breakfast 

together after morning prayer, like 

now...it makes it a bit more enjoyable 

to get up in the morning. So, 

yeah, it’s very much a social occasion. 

Tom Robson: Yes, especially with 

this Midweek Music that we’re now 

doing, I think it’s just raised the 

choir’s game, because it’s just so 

morale boosting to actually have 

people there to listen. We’ve had 

services where, because people 

don’t necessarily want to - as Rupert 

said - be in an act of worship, 

we generally didn’t get that many. 

But now, doing this, it’s obvious 

that people do enjoy the music, 

and it just makes such a difference 

to our week. But it does make 

it more intense, throughout the 

week, as there’s a lot more music to 

perform...but I think that just gives 

everyone experience. 

AN: Yes, there are actually a lot of 

people out there who want to listen 

to choral music, which is good! 

TS: Certainly! The sacred, Eastern 

European music you’re releasing on 

these recordings is lovely, as hopefully 

many of our readers will find 

out in the recordings and concerts, 

but it must be a fairly limited genre, 

still – what sort of things do you 

normally sing in the Wednesday 

performances, for example? 

TR: We usually have a different 

theme, each week. We’ve had these 

‘Baltic Discoveries’, and we’ve got 

another concert of those coming, 

but we’ve also done...Music for 

Kings and Queens? [Checks with 

Rupert] 

RG: ‘Music for a King’. ‘Music from 

Westminster Abbey’, some German 

choral music... 

TS: So a wide variety of music? 

TR: Yes. It’s certainly not just the 

Baltic music we’re performing! 

TS: Fantastic. And finally, what do 

you want to do after graduating? 

You’re both music students, is this 

choir the first stepping-stone in a 

career as a chorister? 

AN: Well, I used to be one of the 

organ scholars here, as an undergrad, 

so I’m hopefully going to be 

trying to pursue some choral conducting 

training, and organ playing 

as well, so I’ll be going on to do a 

further postgrad after this. 

TR: And although I’ve been singing 

in choirs pretty much since I was 

born, it’s actually not what I intend 

to do full time; I intend to sing solo. 

But it may be something – you see, 

solo singing’s very difficult to get 

into – that I draw back on, as it’s a 

completely different ball game, but 

very enjoyable, because you’ve got 

the social side. You’re with a group 

of people much more. 

AN: A lot of singers in the choir do 

go into solo singing, and branch out 

into their own careers as well. 

TR: And we’re not all Music students! 

AN: Yes, there’s quite a broad spectrum 

of people. 

RG: And it’s important to bear in 

mind, in the UK, that there’s a lot 

more work for professional singers 

in a choir. There are many more 

professional choirs, with only a 

handful of singers, maybe, so a 

lot of solo singers start off their 

careers in that way. And this sort of 

preparation, being a choral scholar 

here for instance, is the best kind of 

preparation for that sort of career. 

TS: Thank you very much. I wish 

you all luck with the upcoming 

concerts and recordings, and sorry 

to keep you from your breakfasts!


Special Report 

25 

How safe is Holloway? 

Pseudonyms are used throughout. The views expressed 

are those of the author alone, and any allegations 

made have not been verified by The Founder. 

“ 

Ashleigh Togher 

Just after this year’s 

Fresher’s week, newly 

returned from her year 

abroad, fourth year, 

Desiree, decided to give 

a Friday night at the Union a go. 

Though she would have liked to 

have been able to remember one of 

her first nights back at Holloway, 

her only memory of the night was 

of waking up on her floor at 4 the 

next morning, hallucinating and 

vomiting blood. 

Desiree’s account may sound 

extreme, but I have come across 

at least a score of girls with stories 

similar to Desiree’s since the start 

of term. 

Although Desiree doesn’t personally 

have a problem with the way in 

which the Student’s Union security 

staff dealt with her situation, many 

victims of spiking at Holloway do. 

Camille, a second year, and another 

recent target, expressed her concern 

at the SU policy’s disregard for the 

effect of date-rape drugs. The drugs 

commonly used for date-rape: 

GHB, Ketamine, and Benzodiazephines 

(Rohypnol and Valium) 

cause a loss of motor control. As 

Camille describes: “I had no control 

of my limbs, I found myself on the 

floor and I couldn’t get up.” As a 

result, Camille claimed she was 

conscious of what was happening 

but was unable to react physically 

or to communicate verbally, hence 

her issue with the Union’s policy of 

simply classifying her as being selfinebriated 

and ejecting her from 

the premises. As she says, “I was 

on my own, anyone would’ve been 

able to claim they were my friend 

and I wouldn’t have been able to do 

anything about it.” 

Despite this rather wide-felt 

sentiment of poor policy, one of the 

Student Unions’ current Sabbatical 

officers, Vice President of Education 

and Student Welfare, Charlotte 

Bassam-Bowles, is insistent that 

the Union does everything it can 

to ensure the safety of students. As 

she states, “in the Union we have 

an excellent security team and our 

recent addition of external security 

means that they work together 

within our security teams.” 

Holloway 

can only 

protect you 

to a certain 

extent. If you 

are assaulted 

or witness an 

assault, 

report it 

” 

Drink-spiking on a night out 

in the Student’s Union isn’t the 

only worrying security slip however. 

Trespassing, particularly into 

Founder’s Hall, has recently caused 

concern. Around a month ago, 

a handful of Founders residents 

answered their door to be greeted 

by a strange Australian man selling 

paintball tickets. When reports 

of this incident reached Richard 

Mallett, Head of Security Services, 

he further investigated the situation 

and it transpired that he had 

been invited onto campus by the 

Student’s Union. SURHUL VP 

Education and Welfare Charlotte 

Bassam-Bowles told The Founder: 

“The company was invited onto 

campus to campaign outside the SU 

for one day. We did not and cannot 

give permission for companies to 

enter Halls of Residence, and did 

not in this case. The emails we 

received have been passed on to 

Security and Warden Teams.” 

Although the man seemed harmless, 

students must ask the question, 

‘what if his motivation had been 

more malicious? Who would have 

been there to stop him?’ Founders 

security, one might say. But the intent 

there may also be questionable. 

Although the general resident 

thesis on Founders security is a 

fairly positive one, there have been 

accusations of various incidents 

involving Security staff in the past. 

Head of Security, Richard Mallett 

said he “take[s]all allegations seriously 

and would encourage anyone 

subjected to harassment to report it 

immediately for investigation.” 

Despite the aforementioned 

rather dubious reviews of security 

and safety at Holloway, our university 

is still incredibly safe. According 

to Surrey Police, Surrey is one 

of the safest counties in terms of 

serious crime, with the only notable 

rise between April 2008 and March 

2009 being the number of sexual 

crimes committed in the county, 

rising by 17.1%. Egham in particular 

has an average crime rate comparable 

to the rest of Surrey and to 

similar policing areas in England 

and Wales. 

In terms of improving campus 

safety regulations there is, as previously 

stated, the added presence 

of external staff working for the 

Union, and the possible re-launch 

or re-branding of the presently 

running project, Campus Watch, 

which Bassam-Bowles describes 

as “a joint initiative set up between 

Runnymede Borough Council, the 

Police, College, and the SU, which 

aims to ensure that students and 

visitors are entering a safe space 

with regular security patrols and 

CCTV.” 

But Holloway can only protect 

you to a certain extent. My advice? 

If you are assaulted or witness 

an assault, report it. The spy holes 

in your door are there for a reason, 

so use them. Lock your door, take 

the non-res and drink from bottles 

(the minimal surface area of the 

neck makes it tougher for spikers to 

strike). 

From the 

Students’ Union: 

Whilst the intentions of the ‘How 

Safe is Holloway?’ article to raise 

awareness of risks to personal 

safety and communicate actions 

individuals can take to safeguard 

themselves are to be applauded, 

there are some factual inaccuracies 

that need to be addressed 

and further information that is 

missing. 

For clarification purposes it 

should be noted that there is no 

SU policy which has a disregard 

for date-rape drugs or drink 

spiking. In fact, the SU actively 

seeks to provide and promote 

safe social spaces and campaigns 

to increase individual awareness 

of risks and actions that can reduce 

these risks. To this end, our 

security staff will offer first aid 

where required and actively encourage 

any individual reporting 

a suspected drink spiking to seek 

professional medical attention 

as quickly as possible in order 

that this may be confirmed and 

symptoms treated appropriately. 

Furthermore, all such instances 

are documented and subject to 

further investigation (including 

sharing information with College 

Support and Advisory Services) 

and confidential welfare follow 

up with the student concerned. 

It is also important to under- 

stand that this academic year the 

SU has taken more steps than 

ever to ensure student safety. 

There is now a dedicated Kingswood 

shuttle bus, with set times 

to discourage students from 

walking at night and as always, 

there are bottled drink stoppers 

available by request from any 

bar staff. The SU is also heavily 

involved and consistently consulted 

in all College initiatives 

that promote student safety, such 

as Campus Watch and we have 

other safety measures including 

attack alarms, which you can buy 

for £2 from the Vice President 

(Education and Welfare)’s office 

or out of the vending machine. 

It is crucial that we all as individuals 

engage in maintaining 

our campus as a safe and secure 

environment and any suspicious 

activity or individuals should 

be reported to SU or College 

security staff at the earliest opportunity. 

Any student seeking 

further welfare and personal 

safety advice or assistance should 

contact vpedwelfare@su.rhul. 

ac.uk and can be assured that 

all such queries are treated as 

confidential. 

Charlotte Bassam-Bowles 

Vice-President (Education and 

Welfare)


Last Word 

Joshua Deller Christmas Appeal - The 

best Christmas present you could give… 

Camille Nedelec-Lucas 

When Amy Deller picked up the 

phone on Christmas Eve last year, 

she did not expect to be told by her 

doctor that her son had cancer; it 

was worse than her worst nightmare. 

She writes on the ‘story’ page of 

www.joshua-appeal.org: “As most 

first time mothers do, I worried 

about cot death and meningitis but 

I can honestly say that cancer never 

even crossed my mind. How could 

a baby have cancer?” 

In an interview with The London 

Evening Standard she described 

how “all Christmas Day was 

spent Googling ‘Neuroblastoma’.” 

Neuroblastoma is a cancer of the 

nerves, and as a stage four Neuroblastoma 

patient, Joshua’s diagnosis 

was as bad as it could be.” 

You may have seen the posters 

around campus of Joshua Deller; 

they show a smiling baby boy with 

blue eyes and a Mickey Mouse cuddly 

toy. It’s only when you start to 

read the text underneath that you 

realise that this little boy, whose 

biggest worry should be whether 

or not he gets to watch CBeebies, 

is actually fighting for his life. The 

cancer has spread, the chances of 

survival are low, and the chances of 

a relapse very high. The treatment 

Joshua has undergone has consisted 

of a grueling schedule of chemotherapy, 

radiotherapy and surgery, 

and now, anti-body treatment. 

He has had to be a tough little 

soldier to withstand what he has 

gone through so far. In the summer 

he underwent chemotherapy 

so intense that his liver developed 

Veno Occlusive Disease (a common 

side effect of high levels of chemotherapy), 

which is the swelling and 

clotting of blood vessels in the liver. 

This complication can be fatal, 

and is also linked to renal failure. 

Thankfully, Joshua recovered, and is 

continuing with the chemotherapy. 

Chemotherapy is difficult to cope 

with even for a fully matured adult; 

one can only imagine how frightening 

it must be for a toddler. The 

treatment has made him terribly 

ill, and on their website, his parents 

describe how the chemotherapy has 

“killed the mucus cells lining [Joshua’s] 

mouth and throat, all the way 

down to his digestive system ... In 

the days that followed, he vomited 

thick mucus which at times built 

up so much that he’d have trouble 

“ 

Despite the pain 

and discomfort, his 

parents say that he has 

somehow still found 

the courage to laugh 

and play like 

other children 

touched by Joshua’s story have 

pulled together selflessly and determinedly 

to save a child’s life. Rightwing 

Columnists often lament the 

demise of the ‘community’, but the 

Facebook community that is entitled 

‘Joshua Deller Appeal - Help 

me beat Neuroblastoma Cancer’ is 

over 7000 members strong. 

Perhaps it is in this that there 

lies the answer; Joshua is here to 

remind us that together, we can 

change things. We don’t have to go 

drifting in a zombie-like state from 

seminar to seminar, from job to job. 

Every now and then, we can wake 

up and make a difference. Joshua 

reminds us of our shared humanity, 

and of how important it is to 

not only remember the kindness 

of strangers, but to BE that kind 

stranger. 

I truly hope that Joshua will be 

here to witness many more Christmases 

to come. 

at www.joshua-appeal.org 

bringing it up. His bottom became 

blistered and bled.” 

Despite the pain and discomfort, 

his parents say that he has somehow 

still found the courage to laugh 

and play like other children, which 

is more fortitude than most adults 

show in their entire lives. What is 

most upsetting is that the success 

rate of chemotherapy is tragically 

low: it’s just 30%. There is a way, 

however, to bring this figure up to 

50%, with an expensive Anti-body 

treatment that Joshua started in 

September. It is currently available 

only in New York. 

The treatment involves injecting a 

laboratory-produced antibody that 

has been engineered to attach to 

specific defects in the cancer cells. 

They effectively mimic the function 

of antibodies naturally produced 

within the human immune system; 

however, unlike the human 

immune system, they are able to 

recognise cancerous cells as exactly 

that. This allows the body to fight 

off cancer in the same way it would 

a cold. 

This treatment doesn’t just come 

with a hefty financial cost, though. 

Amy Deller explained to Radio 

Wey at the beginning of November: 

“One of the side effects from 

the treatment is intense pain, the 

medication stimulates the nervous 

system. Eight to ten minutes after 

the infusion [Joshua] was in terrible 

pain, which they can’t control, it 

was very distressing, my husband 

and I both cried. Even though you 

are told about the effects nothing 

prepares you for that.” 

This brings me to a tricky ethical 

question that I cannot bring myself 

to answer. If the treatment is so 

painful, and the survival rate slim, 

at what point does treatment stop 

being viable? I hesitate even to ask. 

After all, if the stake is a child’s 

life, surely the gamble involved 

in having painful treatment is 

worthwhile? For Joshua’s family and 

friends the answer is very clear-cut. 

They have banded together to do 

their best to raise the hundreds of 

thousands needed. 

With two rounds of Anti-body 

Therapy completed so far, Joshua 

needs to have had a total of six 

rounds in order to reap the possible 

benefits. The family have another 

£200,000 left to raise. They have set 

up a website to which people may 

make donations, and a Facebook 

group to raise awareness. People 

may remember the Windsor building 

hosting a Joshua Deller Appeal 

tombola and raffle, which raised 

£800, a few weeks ago. The family 

and volunteers also made £637 during 

a collection day in the Wolsey 

Place shopping centre in Woking 

on November 21. 

It is admirable ”Donate how people


Sport 

tf 

sports@thefounder.co.uk 

27 

Bringing you the best 

captured Holloway 

sporting moments 

from 2009


Sport


tf 


29


Sport 

Does BUCS need 

revamping? 

James Stock 

BUCS. The British Universities and 

Colleges Sports. This is the organisation 

that creates and organises the 

sports leagues that just about every 

university in the country takes 

part in. In this respect, it should 

be commended for offering such 

an organised national opportunity 

for universities to take part in and 

compete against one another. 

However, whilst the intentions 

would appear to be good, it is not 

by any stretch of the imagination 

true that BUCS is a perfect organisation. 

There are some aspects 

which would appear not exactly to 

fit in with the way university structures 

work. 

For example, how often can the 

quality of players change drastically 

at a university? Yearly. By contrast, 

how many opportunities does a 

university team have to move significantly 

between leagues to make 

sure they are playing to the right 

standard that befits their new intake 

and current crop of players? None. 

The vast majority of my experience 

with BUCS comes from 

hockey, and I’ll use a few examples 

to illustrate the problems of teams 

being in the wrong divisions as a 

result of their intake. 

The case of Roehampton University 

over the last few years is a perfect 

illustration of the problems of 

a team being in the wrong league, 

both as a result of being too good 

and as a result of being comfortably 

the worst. Just a few years ago, 

several exceptional hockey players 

joined the university, and over 

the next three years, they smashed 

everyone in sight, rising to one of 

the most prominent teams in the 

region if not the country. However, 

once they had left, they plummeted 

through the divisions at the same 

rate that they had gone up. 

There are two possible areas of 

blame for this. It is either possible 

to blame the university’s sports 

division for not making the most 

of this exceptional foundation they 

had been given and build on it, or 

instead you could blame BUCS. 

For sure, blame cannot be entirely 

placed on either side, but Roehampton 

were put in a comparatively 

difficult position. There will 

have been little notice of such an 

exceptional intake of players, and 

once the extent of their abilities will 

have become apparent, they will 

have only had two years in which to 

set up a recruitment drive in order 

to replace these players. Roehampton 

did not necessarily have the finances 

to put into driving forwards 

with their hockey club, especially 

as it only consists of one ladies and 

one men’s team. 

There are very few benefits to 

what Roehampton Men’s 1st XI 

achieved over these few years. 

Whilst they were dominating 

everyone, it cannot have been an 

enjoyable task, something I will return 

to later, and similarly to be on 

the receiving end of a double figure 

drubbing is not exactly anybody’s 

cup of tea. Roehampton enjoyed 

both these pro’s and con’s, and will 

eventually slide into a division they 

can compete in again, although 

even this may not happen for a 

couple of years. 

The yearly intake need not even 

be so extreme to still create problems. 

To take an example closer to 

home, our own Men’s 1st XI Hockey 

team. Whilst two first teamers 

were lost from last year, eight new 

arrivals appeared this year. Coupled 

with this was the fact that the team 

got relegated from BUCS 3A. This 

combination of a lower standard 

of league but a higher standard 

of players has lead to a decreased 

performance level. Without the 

challenge of more difficult teams, 

the team has not had to raise their 

game to anything like their highest 

level, whilst still scoring in double 

figures twice already this season. 

The highlight of this scenario 

came in the form of two fixtures 

against St. George’s. This is a team 

that is top of BUCS 2B, having won 

all their games against much more 

illustrious opponents than Holloway 

has come up against. However, 

in a pre-season friendly, Holloway 

won 4-2. Once the second round 

of the BUCS cup came around 

however, St. George’s won 2-1. The 

comparison in Holloway’s performance 

was noticeable, and I strongly 

believe this is because the team has 

consistently come up against teams 

of a lower standard, and not had 

to try and beat them. As soon as 

they had to play properly to win a 

game, they had already settled into 

bad habits and played much poorer 

than in that pre-season game. 

This is an example of a team being 

stifled as a result of the opposition 

they have faced. 

One of the weakest aspects of the 

BUCS system is the ‘playing under 

protest’ system. For sure, every 

team feels cheated when they feel 

a 2nd team has rocked up with a 

bunch of ‘ringers’, and rightly they 

should. The official BUCS rulebook 

states in section 7.5 that “each team 

should be selected as though the 

other teams would be playing in a 

match of equal importance at the 

same time”. However, until teams 

are required to register squad details 

and take a team sheet to every 

game, the opportunity for teams to 

put ringers in is undeniable. This 

easily done by bigger universities 

such as Reading, Portsmouth or 

Brunel, who have big sports clubs. 

Naturally they don’t want any of 

their teams to get relegated, so it’s 

easy to work out when to ‘drop’ 

some players so that all their teams 

are playing to a higher level the 

next year. However, smaller clubs 

with only one or two teams in any 

given discipline can’t do this and 

are put at a disadvantage as a result. 

So, how could a reformed BUCS 

league system have changed this? 

Personally I can think of two unprecedented 

but logical solutions. 

The first of these is a league review 

based structure. This would involve 

the structures largely remaining the 

same with promotion and relegation, 

but if there were any cases at 

the halfway point of the season, at 

Christmas, where it was obvious 

that a team in a high league was 

struggling, and a team in a low 

league was dominating, then there 

could be a simple swap. That way, 

both leagues would open up more, 

and both teams would play in a 

league more to their standard. 

An alternative to this is the 

possibility of a unified league/ 

cup structure. This could involve a 

fulfilment of all the BUCS League 

fixtures, in the same format that it 

currently stands, before the Christmas 

break. At the beginning of the 

second term, the teams could then 

be re-assigned either into a cup 

format or another league structure, 

based on where they came within 

their league. For example, all the 

first placed teams could play off 

against each other in a new league 

or cup competition, and so on with 

the second placed teams and so on. 

In doing so if a team has romped 

their way to victory in the first half 

of the season, they can go into the 

Christmas break in the knowledge 

they will have stiffer competition 

in the second half. Likewise with 

a team that has been battered and 

bruised during the first half of the 

season can look forward to playing 

teams in a similar predicament to 

themselves. 

This second alternative in particular 

would give such an all-year incentive 

to teams to be performing. 

At the moment there is too much of 

a problem with teams being a long 

way out of position and struggling 

to motivate themselves for games. 

Surely this is not what university 

sport is about, and a revamp of the 

system will enable the full potential 

of the enjoyment which university 

sports so relies on, to return. 

Do you feel cheated by the BUCS 

system? Alternatively, do you 

disagree and think that BUCS 

have got it right? If you have 

an opinion and want to share it, 

email sports@thefounder.co.uk. 

Squash 

Match 

report (19th 

November) 

Ben Hine 

RHUL Men’s ULU 2nd took on St 

George’s Men’s ULU 2nd this Thursday. 

The atmosphere was tense for 

a mostly new team and they were 

eager to play after their last match 

ended in a no-show walk-over. 

Jon Davis began proceedings and 

looked very comfortable, securing a 

3-0 win. 

Ben Hine was next and did not get 

settled straight away quickly losing 

the first game, however he found 

good form and won 3 hard fought 

games in a row to achieve a 3-1 victory. 

Simon Green came back from 

a 2-0 disadvantage to take it to a 5 

game thriller where he came out on 

top 3-2. 

This secured the definite win leaving 

the top order under little pressure. 

However, Sam Hurst and Will 

Walton could not capitalise on this 

and both lost 3-0. But the 2nd will 

be pleased with their 3-2 win overall. 

Match 

report (25th 

November) 

RHUL Women’s 1st team hosted 

Essex at home on 25th November 

and it looks like the season is back 

on track. All four girls won their 

matches 3 games to 0 and they all 

looked comfortable together for the 

first time. Hopefully this win can be 

the start of many good results for 

the girls!


tf 


31 

An oarinspiring 

victory 

- Allom 

Cup 2009 

Thomas Seal 

Novice Men’s VIII 

The Allom Cup, London’s intercollegiate 

rowing tournament, took 

place on Sunday 29 November, and 

Royal Holloway’s rowers returned 

from the University of London Boat 

Club in Chiswick with plenty to be 

proud of! 

The day began with a rowers’ lie 

in...so the crews met at Founder’s 

building in at 7am, ready to bundle 

endless boats, riggers, oars and 

trestles into trailers and minivans, 

in the dark. Most people prefer 

breakfast in bed. 

The weather was changeable 

throughout the day, going from bitterly 

cold but sunny to numbingly 

cold and raining, the only constant 

companion being a glacial breeze. 

The fresher women’s VIII, having 

never raced before, easily outpaced 

both UCL’s first then second crews, 

before also beating Queen Mary’s, 

cruising to victory in their category 

and earning them all Allom Cup 

medals. After over two months of 

intensive gym sessions and gruelling 

6am practices at Strode’s College 

Boat Club in Staines, the crew 

exuded vindication and relief in 

their smiles. 

The men’s fresher VIII confidently 

beat both RUMS (UCL Med 

School) and UCL in the first two 

rounds, before coming up short 

in the semifinal against the Royal 

Veterinary College. Problems arose 

in this race when the Vets seemed 

to attempt to cut across the middle 

of the Thames, causing much yelling, 

clacking of oars and, crucially, 

several of our crew temporarily 

stopping rowing in order to avoid a 

major accident, leading to a loss of 

about a length. The Vets went on to 

win the novice VIII cup. 

The women’s intermediate IV’s 

fiery resolve was somewhat dampened 

by a scandalous 45 minute 

wait (in their singlets, in the lashing 

rain) for KCL ‘s team who were, 

for half an hour, ‘just coming’. 

This clearly gave KCL the rest and 

warmth they needed to eventually 

grasp a largely empty victory in this 

category, and probably gave most 

of our intermediate women rowers 

pneumonia. 

The Allom cup is a novice event 

– however, in any major race, 

Royal Holloway’s coach tells The 

Founder, KCL’s team would have 

been disqualified 5 minutes before 

our women were even on the water. 

C’est l’aviron! (French for ‘rowing’, 

apparently.) 

Meanwhile, the men’s intermediate 

IV smoothly powered away at 

the starting klaxon, only to find 

that a minor technical difficulty 

with their boat slides meant they 

couldn’t continue at racing pace 

and thus lost the race by a small 

margin. It was safe to assume, the 

men tell me, that they would’ve 

won had this not happened. Being 

a Holloway rower myself, I’m 

inclined to agree! (Completely 

objectively, of course.) 

Despite organisational blunders, 

everyone was proud of their crews 

and put their all into their rowing. 

Royal Holloway Boat Club eagerly 

anticipates the next opportunity to 

leave the other colleges in its wake! 

tf 

Want to write for the Sport section? 

If you’re keen to get involved with the sport section of this 

newspaper as a photographer or reporter, email: 

sports@thefounder.co.uk

Get lost 

December Events 

windsor 

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Wednesday 23th December 

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STUDENT NIGHT 

Book your society or team party now! 

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email us to book - windsor@liquidclubs.com 

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