William Faulkner, SANCTUARY – WordPress.com - literature save 2

kept on talking, sitting there in his overalls, rolling his cigarettes with the sack hanging in
his teeth. 'I'll just stay here until it blows over. I'll be better off here; cant do anything
outside, anyway. And this will keep her, with maybe something for you until you're better
paid.'
"But I knew what he was thinking. 'I didn't know you were a coward' I said.
"'You do like I say' he said. 'I'll be all right here.' But he doesn't . . ." He sat
forward, rubbing his hands slowly. "He doesn't realize. . . Dammit, say what you want to,
but there's a corruption about even looking upon evil, even by accident; you cannot
haggle, traffic, with putrefaction. You've seen how Narcissa, just hearing about it, how
it's made her restless and suspicious. I thought I had come back here of my own accord,
but now I see that--Do you suppose she thought I was bringing that woman into the house
at night, or something like that?"
"I did too, at first," Miss Jenny said. "But I reckon now she's learned that you'll
work harder for whatever reason you think you have, than for anything anybody could
offer you or give you."
"You mean she'd let me think they never had any money when she--"
"Why not? Aint you doing all right without it?" Narcissa entered.
"We were just talking about murder and crime," Miss Jenny said.
"I hope you're through, then," Narcissa said. She did not sit down.
"Narcissa has her sorrows too," Miss Jenny said. "Dont you, Narcissa?"
"What now?" Horace said. "She hasn't caught Bory with alcohol on his breath, has
she?"
"She's been jilted. Her beau's gone and left her."
"You're such a fool," Narcissa said.
"Yes, sir," Miss Jenny said, "Gowan Stevens has thrown her down. He didn't even
come back from that Oxford dance to say goodbye. He just wrote her a letter." She began
to search about her in the chair. "And now I flinch everytime the doorbell rings, thinking
that his mother-"
"Miss Jenny," Narcissa said, "you give me my letter."
"Wait," Miss Jenny said, "here it is. Now, what do you think of that for a delicate
operation on the human heart without anaesthetics? I'm beginning to believe all this I
hear, about how young folks learn all the things in order to get married, that we had to get
married in order to learn."
Horace took the single sheet.
_Narcissa my dear
This has no heading. I wish it could have no date. But if my heart were as blank as
this page, this would not be necessary at all. I will not see you again. I cannot write it, for
I have gone through with an experience which I cannot -face. I have but one rift in the
darkness, that is that I have injured no one save myself by my folly, and that the extent of
that folly you will never learn. I need not say that the hope that you never learn it is the
sole reason why I will not see you again. Think as well of me as you can. I wish I had the
right to say, if you learn of my folly think not the less of me. G._
Horace read the note, the single sheet. He held it between his hand. He did not say
anything for a while.