This Monk From India - The Divine Life Society

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THE GURU COMES INTO MY LIFE
All my life, suffering seemed to be my way. I seemed to accept it. What else could I do
But when my nearest and dearest ones were in agony, I lifted my fist to God and shouted in
revolt. This revolt, however, did not last. My arm fell down, and, moved by a mysterious impulse, I
fell on my knees and with bowed head said, “Thy will be done, Oh Lord...I want nothing.” Then
everything started. My breathing, for instance. The movements of my body were not my own any
more. Mudras, Asanas and Pranayama came to me spontaneously, automatically. I watched it all in
perfect composure. I seemed to forget food and sleep, but my half-paralysed body slowly began to
recover movement and strength. My mind did not ask any question, but a holy man spoke to me and
said, “Mystical fervour can burn you up. Now you are in touch with God. Ask for health and
strength.” He was a knowing man, so I obeyed. I knelt down. But even before I could start praying
in the manner advised by the holy man, a mysterious soul whisper came to me, “Don’t you think I
know best Didn’t you say ‘Thy will be done” I did not talk anymore to anyone. I knew that I knew
best and I was at peace. My body had hardly begun to recover movements and strength when
Chidananda came. I left everything without a glance backward. I knew nothing about Yoga and he
was the first Swami I had ever seen. But I knew that I knew him from beginningless time. After the
Satsang, I was the only one who did not ask questions. Swamiji noticed it.
“You have no questions”
I bowed my head in response. My heart was full. And to the Presence within me I said,
“Crucifixion seems to be my way,
but if this be the quickest way
to Thee, my Lord,
I thank Thee for Thy mercy.
Didn’t Jesus show us the way”
In Lyons, I was staying in the home of M., a great devotee of Swami Sivananda, when one
day a Swami, who was also a devotee of Swami Sivananda, asked me, “You are so blissful, so
radiant, though you are new to Yoga. How did it all start with you” I answered, “Oh, I don’t know,
it just happened.” But everyone insisted, “You must try and remember. Tonight at dinner, you must
tell us. It would be so inspiring. It would renew our faith.”
That afternoon I did a lot of soul-searching, when suddenly I realised that a new kind of joy
had come into my life.
When had this begun Then I remembered, and that night at dinner I told my friends, “I
know when everything really began. It was the day when I first revolted against God and lifted my
fist and shouted at Him. Then I fell on my knees and I was made to say, ‘THY WILL BE DONE, I
WANT NOTHING.’” I had hardly finished saying this when the door bell rang insistently. It was
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