This Monk From India - The Divine Life Society

“Relate your own experiences too,” they said, “for though we can read such things in books,
it is so inspiring to see it happening to one of us, someone we know, one who led a very happy life
and who was very much attached to everything, to everyone around her, her husband, her children,
even to her country, and her security, and possessed no special qualities whatsoever.”
But as I found myself unable to speak in front of a tape recorder, I started to write in
long-hand. At first I was a little apprehensive as I tried to describe the wonders of Swamiji’s
saintliness, his awe-inspiring greatness; for, how could something which surpasses human
understanding be put into words Also, how could I speak of a philosophy I knew so little about
Was not my way of Yoga more a way of acceptance and experience first, with knowledge coming
slowly afterwards
But, as I went on with my work, a great joy came over me; for writing about Swamiji meant I
was in his invisible presence all day; his grace guiding me, help coming from all sides.
When the book was practically finished, some Indian ladies, great and sincere devotees of
Swamiji, told me, “You should not have been so short in the description of how you met Swamiji
and of your own experiences. For us Indians, it is the most inspiring part, especially as you are a
Westerner.”
So I added a few pages, where I tried to describe the role of Chidananda in my life and the
wonders of his guidance, which I was then made to realise anew; and a song of gratitude, a song of
joy welled up in my heart. If I had been reluctant to write about my sufferings and trials, I was now
made to be happy because I realised that it would bring a message of hope to all the suffering ones.
They would know forever, as Charles de Foueault expresses so beautifully, that “the darker the
night of suffering, the more radiant the ‘life’ of pure love and joy that emerges from it”.
Now I must say a special thanks to Sri Ananthanarayanan who took the. responsibility of
editing, planning and supervising the production of the book in all its stages.
I shall never forget the day of the celebrations of Swami Chidananda’s jubilee when he
arrived from Delhi only just in time to give me the book so as to present it to Swamiji. He was
exhausted after the many troubles he had to get the book printed because of the many strikes in
Delhi. And the way he rushed up the hundred steps of the mountain to bow and offer his work at the
feet of Sivananda, his beloved guru, moved me deeply. I will never forget the way he had the
patience to decipher the pages about my son’s death. I had written them for myself. The mechanics
of writing and the profuse tears that I had shed while doing it had seemed to relieve me and keep me
alive. But the tears had wet the paper and made it practically impossible to read what I had written.
Ananthanarayanan often had to put the sheets of paper against a light so as to be able to read
my words.
The feelings he felt for the book, the intuition he had that I could write and transmit them,
and the perseverance with which he infused courage into me to publish the book afterwards is also
something rare. So if the book has helped many a seeking soul, it is in great part to him that their
hearts should turn to in gratitude.
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