CAREER COACH HANDBOOK - Summer Search
CAREER COACH HANDBOOK - Summer Search
CAREER COACH HANDBOOK - Summer Search
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POOR QUALITY COVER LETTER<br />
Source: Katie Munroe, Career Counselor, December 2010<br />
------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
Nancy Nonprofit<br />
600 Eastern Ave<br />
Boston, MA 02222<br />
January 20, 2010<br />
Adrienne Kimmell<br />
Political Director / Foundation Director<br />
Lee Family Office<br />
131 Mt. Auburn St., Suite 3<br />
Cambridge, MA 02138<br />
Dear Adrienne:<br />
I would like to apply for the communications associate job at the Barbara Lee Family<br />
Foundation and Barbara Lee Political Office. I am the ideal candidate for this position<br />
and really would like to work at an organization that is geared towards enhancing<br />
women’s place in society.<br />
I am currently seeking a position that will match my passions and provide me with<br />
experience for my future career. Currently, I am taking several classes related towards<br />
social justice issues including Gender in Everyday Life, Psychology of Women, and<br />
Women in the Media. I have several transferable skills including communication and<br />
people skills. I have learned these from writing press releases for my local newspaper<br />
and interning at WBUR 90.9fm Boston. I have also volunteered in the development<br />
department at Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts.<br />
Overall, I am a very hard worker and remain persistent in achieving my goal. I feel<br />
strongly that I would do an excellent job in this position and could bring a lot to the table.<br />
I am prepared to roll up my sleeves and work as hard as I can for such a well-respected<br />
woman and her organization.<br />
Attached, please see my resume that details my work experience. I will call you within a<br />
week’s time to schedule an interview and to discuss this position further. Thank you for<br />
your time.<br />
Sincerely,<br />
Nancy Nonprofit<br />
<br />
Comment [c33]: Never address them<br />
by their first name, it’s too informal.<br />
Comment [c34]: Every job title should<br />
be capitalized.<br />
Comment [c35]: This can come off as<br />
arrogant to employers, instead she should<br />
focus on her skills and interests.<br />
Comment [c36]: Too “me” focused.<br />
She wants the company to see that she<br />
can contribute as well, not just take.<br />
Comment [c37]: What did she learn in<br />
these classes, why is this important<br />
Comment [c38]: Why is this important<br />
She must detail what she does there and<br />
the skills she has learned and relate them<br />
back to the position she’s applying for.<br />
Comment [c39]: This paragraph is too<br />
focused on “soft” skills. She is only<br />
mentioning her personal characteristics<br />
rather than her concrete, measurable<br />
skills. She should go into more detail as to<br />
why she’d be a good fit for this<br />
organization and talk about why she is<br />
drawn to it and interested.<br />
Comment [c40]: This is too forward.<br />
She should mention the opportunity for an<br />
interview but never assume that she will<br />
automatically get one and schedule it on<br />
her own.<br />
<br />
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