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CAREER COACH HANDBOOK - Summer Search

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POOR QUALITY COVER LETTER<br />

Source: Katie Munroe, Career Counselor, December 2010<br />

------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />

Nancy Nonprofit<br />

600 Eastern Ave<br />

Boston, MA 02222<br />

January 20, 2010<br />

Adrienne Kimmell<br />

Political Director / Foundation Director<br />

Lee Family Office<br />

131 Mt. Auburn St., Suite 3<br />

Cambridge, MA 02138<br />

Dear Adrienne:<br />

I would like to apply for the communications associate job at the Barbara Lee Family<br />

Foundation and Barbara Lee Political Office. I am the ideal candidate for this position<br />

and really would like to work at an organization that is geared towards enhancing<br />

women’s place in society.<br />

I am currently seeking a position that will match my passions and provide me with<br />

experience for my future career. Currently, I am taking several classes related towards<br />

social justice issues including Gender in Everyday Life, Psychology of Women, and<br />

Women in the Media. I have several transferable skills including communication and<br />

people skills. I have learned these from writing press releases for my local newspaper<br />

and interning at WBUR 90.9fm Boston. I have also volunteered in the development<br />

department at Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts.<br />

Overall, I am a very hard worker and remain persistent in achieving my goal. I feel<br />

strongly that I would do an excellent job in this position and could bring a lot to the table.<br />

I am prepared to roll up my sleeves and work as hard as I can for such a well-respected<br />

woman and her organization.<br />

Attached, please see my resume that details my work experience. I will call you within a<br />

week’s time to schedule an interview and to discuss this position further. Thank you for<br />

your time.<br />

Sincerely,<br />

Nancy Nonprofit<br />

<br />

Comment [c33]: Never address them<br />

by their first name, it’s too informal.<br />

Comment [c34]: Every job title should<br />

be capitalized.<br />

Comment [c35]: This can come off as<br />

arrogant to employers, instead she should<br />

focus on her skills and interests.<br />

Comment [c36]: Too “me” focused.<br />

She wants the company to see that she<br />

can contribute as well, not just take.<br />

Comment [c37]: What did she learn in<br />

these classes, why is this important<br />

Comment [c38]: Why is this important<br />

She must detail what she does there and<br />

the skills she has learned and relate them<br />

back to the position she’s applying for.<br />

Comment [c39]: This paragraph is too<br />

focused on “soft” skills. She is only<br />

mentioning her personal characteristics<br />

rather than her concrete, measurable<br />

skills. She should go into more detail as to<br />

why she’d be a good fit for this<br />

organization and talk about why she is<br />

drawn to it and interested.<br />

Comment [c40]: This is too forward.<br />

She should mention the opportunity for an<br />

interview but never assume that she will<br />

automatically get one and schedule it on<br />

her own.<br />

<br />

24

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