1yulSVC

A Survey of Minor Disfigurements
I imagine them in their home, surrounded by an assortment of timid
plants and blanched watercolor prints. Wood paneling. Candy dishes. A
small, sympathetic dog. I imagine them working on new material, crafting
their facial expressions, perfecting their timing. I imagine her murmuring
tunelessly while she cooks. He comes up behind and tenderly grips
her waist. She turns, and catches his cowboy hat in the forehead. I imagine
him waking to find his matching outfit laid out, descending the stairs
to a wholesome breakfast and a rodeo of skittering pills. The new day
looms, his wife already plotting. Their routine is fortified against the intrusion
of unpleasant realities, a confederacy of two. It is perplexing how
they tolerate themselves.
Rebecca, with that gleam of hers, told them I was considering finishing
the degree I’d dropped a few years ago and perhaps pursuing graduate
studies, which is not true. “Well I graduated from the school of hard
knocks in 1949!” Grandpa Jim said, his big face beaming. Grandma Sallie
rapped at the air, eyes wide and mouth thrown open with campy pizzazz,
clicking in time with her raptor-like tongue. I picked up a lighter
and with it singed a few idle hairs on my hand. Then we went to lunch.
Youth too seems a dubious repository for our aspirations. I’m beginning,
for instance, to grow suspicious of my neighbor. He keeps odd hours; that’s
the first thing. I, too, keep odd hours, which is often necessary for unusual
behavior. You have to keep them guessing, the ones who may be
watching you. Also he is a young man of cheerful outlook. Too cheerful,
if you ask me. His motivations are mysterious. People of sunny disposition
have their secrets. Often they are engaged in activities that one
is wise to be suspicious of. He comes and goes, jingling keys, untangling
wires and earphones, always tapping at the screen of some gadget or device.
He is a teaching assistant at the university, he tells me. He teaches
computers, he says.
Teaches computers what, I wonder Does he instruct them to perform
music of their own composition To construct sentences, to think
To dazzle with elaborate prognostications of the future, complete with
charts and graphs I often learn about various projects of this kind through
my reading, in libraries. Beginning with the newspapers I proceed slowly,
absorbing the deleterious stirrings of the world, the turmoil and unrest.
The news media can’t be trusted, of course, but one must start some-
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