Issue 6 2010 - TLS - Victoria University
Issue 6 2010 - TLS - Victoria University
Issue 6 2010 - TLS - Victoria University
You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
Dead in Melbourne<br />
by John Reeves<br />
this morning I woke up dead in Melbourne<br />
mashed and mangled beneath the wheels of the St Kilda tram<br />
passers-by stopped and looked, held their mouths in repulsion<br />
not a pretty sight but they do run trams down the middle of the street<br />
so such tragedies cannot be unexpected<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne<br />
I threw my self off the West gate bridge, several times<br />
proving the fact that you can bounce<br />
when you hit the water at terminal velocity<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne<br />
I went back to sleep just to make sure and woke up dead again<br />
got up went out and bought The Age to check the obituaries<br />
seems I didn’t rate a mention at all<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne<br />
beaten to death by a gang of drunken lesbians from Thornbury<br />
who cut off my testicles and stole my sperm to inseminate<br />
a future race of male independent females, i guess<br />
that’s something to be proud of as I wasn’t using the sperm much anyway<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne feeling something less than trendy<br />
sprawled against the Gucci shop window in Toorak Road<br />
I might as well have been invisible<br />
no one stopped to check if I was alive until about 11am<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne in the back seat of a black and yellow cab<br />
as it circled the city looking for rides at 5am<br />
the cab driver let me off the fare saying,<br />
‘sorry mate, yer dead, I am honest man I can’t charge you for that’<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne with a fresh uneaten kebab in my hand,<br />
that an old Greek guy had given to me cos he thought I looked like I needed a good feed,<br />
a kind gesture to be sure but it didn’t keep me from dying<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne in the park across from the Dandenong train station<br />
I was sleeping under a tree and a mob of bored urban youths<br />
stoned me to death for the fun of it, seemingly under the impression I was a no good bum<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne in the morgue of the St Vincent’s Hospital<br />
I smiled, the morgue attendant just rolled her eyes and slammed the fridge door shut<br />
obviously not in the mood for jokes Monday being what it is and death being a busy business<br />
today I woke up dead in Melbourne<br />
and lived to tell the tale<br />
John Reeves is a poet/songwriter and musician.<br />
Page 22
Change language