red hill - jamie mcguire

“No. Zoe’s in there.”
“So”
“No,” I said, shaking my head, disgusted in Zoe’s honor. “I remember walking in on my parents,
once. It scarred me for life.”
“My parents split up when I was four,” Joey said. “I don’t remember what it’s like to have them
both in the house.”
“Your mom never dated”
“Once or twice. I did a pretty good job of scaring them off. I was a hateful little shit.”
I smiled. “I can see that.”
Nathan
I DIDN’T MEAN TO KEEP making comparisons, but Aubrey was the first woman I’d ever loved. So I had
to wonder, now, feeling the way I did about Scarlet, if I just loved her differently than I ever had
Aubrey, or if it meant I’d never really loved Aubrey at all.
My life went from one disappointing day to another, to keeping track of time by how much was
spent with Scarlet, and how much time was spent between the moments I spent with her. We would sit
on the porch and wait together, and she would tell me about her girls, how funny and smart and
talented they were, and what it was like to bring them into this world. She talked about her marriage,
and her decision to leave. I’d already thought she was maybe the strongest, bravest woman I’d met,
but to listen to how alone she was in that decision, with no support, I couldn’t help but be in awe of
her.
Each night was a buildup to when I would finally have enough balls to touch her. Sometimes I
would play it off with a nudge, or a playful smack on her leg, and she wouldn’t mind if I left it there.
Childish, but she was nothing if not intimidating . . . and distractingly beautiful. I found it difficult not
to stare at her, and was glad for the dim light after the sun went down, and that the darkness gave me
an excuse to concentrate on her mouth while she spoke.
It felt strange—this happiness I’d found in such a dark time. But with Zoe content in our new home
and the routine we’d found, and finding Scarlet, the only thing that bothered me was what life would
have been like without death descending on the world. What did it mean that I’d had such good
fortune when so many had lost everything
Sitting on the top step of the porch next to Scarlet, it was easy to forget the nightmare that was just
beyond that hill, and that she wasn’t just outside spending time with me, but passing the time while
waiting for her children, the true loves of her life.
“I’m still sweating,” Scarlet said, letting go of my hand to lift the collar of her T-shirt to dab her
forehead. “Summer must be in full swing.”
The locust and crickets were taking over the symphony the birds had just ended. “It’s going to be