red hill - jamie mcguire

“Hey, Skeeter,” I called, looking up to the roof. He poked his head over the edge. “You see Joey
or Ashley”
Skeeter pointed south, but didn’t say a word.
I walked out to the barn, but Butch and I were the only two around.
Several emotions bubbled to the surface: confusion, worry, and even suspicion. Noises from
behind the barn piqued my curiosity, so I peeked around the corner. Joey and Ashley were standing in
the field together. She was holding the rifle, and he was trying to help her hold it correctly. He said
something, making her drop the barrel toward the ground a bit. His hand was on her hip for a fraction
of a second. They began to laugh, the ugly kind that produces tears. Joey even doubled over and
steadied himself with his hands on his knees.
My face instantly flushed and my eyes filled with tears. At first I was angry with Ashley. She’d
been walking around the house nearly comatose, not responding to anyone or anything. All she’d done
for almost ten days was cry and sleep. Every time I tried to talk to her, she’d just get angry. But in the
field with Joey, she was herself again. Laughing and joking like Cooper hadn’t been shot in the face
right in front of her less than two weeks before. Suddenly, alone with Joey, she was just fine.
I stifled back a sob, letting the jealousy, and then the guilt, swallow me whole. Of course Ashley
deserved to do something other than be miserable. How could I say that I loved her and then be angry
with her for having a moment of peace I slowly let myself slide to the ground and sat in the dirt.
Sweat was forming along my hairline, and a drop finally fell just in front of my ear. It was like an
oven, even in the shade, but Ashley and Joey didn’t notice they were baking with the sun shining
straight down on them.
She was alone now, and so was Joey. They would talk about their loss, and find comfort in one
another, and I would have to watch them because I had nowhere else to go. I closed my eyes and let
my head fall back against the wall of the barn. God, I was a horrid, selfish bitch.
Joey’s and Ashley’s voices got louder, and I realized they were walking my way. I stayed very
still and didn’t dare breathe, afraid they would catch me eavesdropping and crying over them like a
crazy person. I was convinced they would both know why if they saw me. Thankfully, they were too
busy impressing each other to see me, and continued to the house. I finally took a deep breath and let
out a quiet cry. I said once that I wouldn’t want Joey if he were the last man on earth. Now I was just
horrible enough to wish we were the last ones on earth so I could have him to myself.
That night at dinner, Ashley and Joey sat next to each other. They carried on about their afternoon
and how awful a shot she was. For absolutely no reason at all, I was annoyed with Ashley’s voice
and the entire conversation. No one else was talking, just listening to them go on and on and on about
how funny that was, and how hilarious this was, and bragging about how much help Ashley needed.
“We’ve decided she needs some serious help, and this should be a daily thing until she gets
better.”
“Sounds like a good idea,” Nathan said, nodding.
“You’ve shot a gun before, Ashley. I don’t understand how you’d be so bad at it,” I said.
Ashley chuckled, and then when she realized I wasn’t amused, she stopped altogether. “I haven’t
shot that much.”