Judith Light
Judith Light
Judith Light
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Catching Up With Carol<br />
by Carol Silva<br />
“I Have Thought About You Everyday of My Life”<br />
March 2, 1952 Jane Bachy was born in Westchester Square<br />
Hospital in the Bronx. Two days later she went home with Ann<br />
& Andy Bachy. She grew up in Syosset in a world overflowing<br />
with family love, friends and schools.<br />
March 2, 1952 Ann and Andy hadn’t been in the delivery<br />
room with Jane. An 18 year old girl had. But Jane’s adoption<br />
was never a secret. Her parents explained that her birth parents<br />
couldn’t take care of her but loved her enough to give her to a<br />
family that needed a baby. Jane was a Bachy.<br />
In the 1970s Jane met Jim Groene at St. Ambrose College in Iowa. By November 2009<br />
their son Taylor was 29 year and their 33 year old daughter Thea was married and considering<br />
having children. Thea had medical history questions Jane couldn’t answer. But Jane<br />
didn’t try contacting her birth parents until she read the book, The Girls Who Went Away:<br />
The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades<br />
before Roe v.Wade. It was the story of unmarried women forced to give up their children.<br />
Suddenly Jane had to know if she had been torn from the arms of her teenaged mother.<br />
By now Jane’s dad, Andy, had passed away. Her mom Ann, had had a stroke. So<br />
Thea helped Jane search NYC’s birth registration books for clues. They came up empty.<br />
So Jane called New Jersey historian and adoptee Pam Slaton. Within 24 hours, Slaton<br />
called 14 women who’d delivered baby girls in Westchester Square that day, saying,<br />
“I’m a historian with a client searching for her mother.” Virginia “Ginny” DeMarco<br />
from upstate Newburgh was the only woman who gasped. Ginny denied being Jane’s<br />
mother, but took Slaton’s number. Ginny called back 3 minutes later. “No one knows,”<br />
she explained, except for Ginny’s daughter Patricia.<br />
special images<br />
Then Ginny decided to call Jane. “Hi Jane. It’s Ginny. I have thought about you every<br />
day of my life!” Ginny never saw Jane’s birth father after he went off to the Korean War.<br />
In 1954 she married Joe. Now Jane had a brother Rudy, a sister Patricia and 50 year old<br />
“baby” brother Joey.<br />
Then Jane told Ginny about her family, adding, “God has blessed you and will continue<br />
to bless you for the love and courage you showed me March 20, 1952.” Ginny<br />
closed with, “I love you.”<br />
They spent weeks on the phone “discovering” each other until New Years weekend<br />
when they all met in Newburgh. Jane says they talked alike and they looked alike. After<br />
all, they were family.<br />
It was so right – for five months. Then March 28, 2010, Jim Groene was diagnosed<br />
with terminal cancer. But he told Jane, “I’m so happy you‘ll be fine. You have your<br />
own family now.” Eight days later Ginny had simple knee replacement surgery. A week<br />
later, Jane got a shocking call. Ginny had developed an infection. She was gone. People<br />
gasped at Ginny’s wake in Newburgh when Jane walked in. She looked just like Ginny.<br />
After all they were family.<br />
Jane says her brothers and sister got her, Thea and Taylor through Jim’s passing on July<br />
10, 2010, with solace, joy, abundance and unconditional love.<br />
Jane acknowledges that not every adoption search has a happy ending. But she hopes<br />
hers gives pregnant women “the courage to give adoption a thought.” There’s a new<br />
normal for Jane, including this summer’s party at Joey’s, sending her new niece off to<br />
college. Jane says, “What started as an adventure has turned into a new life.” Amen. <br />
News 12’s Carol Silva has been bringing Long Islanders their local news for more<br />
than 25 years weekday mornings at 5:30AM on News 12 Long Island.<br />
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