Rosh Hashana 5770/2009 - Jewish Infertility

SHAAREI TIKVAH/ FALL 2009
13
And when someone else’s tefillos are answered before ours,
are we able to sense their bliss, or do we feel ignored
and rejected
side, write the word “Bad.” Spend a half hour or so recollecting
in your mind the events, both personal and communal, that
have affected your life. Write down all the things that have
made you happy: the simchos, accomplishments and successes.
And then jot down on the other side of the paper the
tragedies, failures and disappointments.
The paper will serve as an emotional roller coaster as you
relive each event. After you are done, place this paper in your
machzor right before the Shemoneh Esrei page - and imagine
that this list was written by none other than Hashem Himself!
He wrote it last year on Rosh Hashana.
And now He is beginning to write this year’s list!
The thought should make us tremble! What are we going
to do about it
How can we ensure that this year’s list will provide more
entries onto the “good” list and fewer submissions onto the
“bad”
Perhaps we should start by reanalyzing our list. Look once
more. This exercise usually results in many more entries in the
“bad” column than in the “good.” This speaks to the nature of
how we approach the events in our lives. Indeed, because of
our extreme sensitivity for others, we feel their pain and suffering;
we share in their misery and treat their misfortune as
our own.
But what about the other way around
Do we feel the joy of others equally strongly
It is not easy. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things
we can do. I’m not quite sure how to coin the phrase in English.
In Yiddish it is called to fargin yenem. That is, to be
happy and content with that which someone else has; not
to be jealous and unaccepting. Are we happy for the successes
Are we joyful for the simcha When we hear that
they have been blessed by the Al-mighty, do we feel their
joy as strongly as we feel the pain of those who have not
been blessed
These are the questions we must think about. And perhaps
this is the reason that when we look at the “bad” list,
it is filled with so many more entries than the “good” list.
Are we happy when someone else’s husband makes a lot
of money, or do we wonder why our husband might not
have done the same Are we delighted when someone else
receives accolades for their accomplishments, or do feel
overlooked and under-recognized
And when someone else’s tefillos are answered before
ours, are we able to sense their bliss, or do we feel ignored
and rejected
Perhaps we need to rewrite our lists. Let’s look around at
all the joy that surrounds us. Let’s feel, really feel, someone
else’s joy as our own. And in this zechus, one day soon they
will be able to partake and experience the joy of our dreams
coming true.
The term shana means year. But it also connotes change,
as in the word shinui. Indeed, every year is different. Each
one brings with it a change. Perhaps if we change our perspective
of the blessing we find in our lives, then He will
change our mazal as well. Perhaps we will begin to discover
how truly blessed we all are.
We just have to open our eyes and see.
My success. And yours.
My achievements. And yours.
My joy. And yours.
Yes, it has been quite a year…