Rosh Hashana 5770/2009 - Jewish Infertility

SHAAREI TIKVAH/ FALL 2009
59
The greater the degree to which we are honest with ourselves,
remaining aware of and giving direction to our
“other self,” the more likely we are to achieve real change.
Inside, we discover the yetzer hara, which is the part of
us that takes joy, that feels power and self-affirmation, in
the defeat of our rivals, even when we are behaving
kenegged Hashem. We also find the nefesh habeheimis, the
instinctive, animalistic side of our spiritual nature, as opposed
to pure evil. Evil must be dealt with intelligently and
unflinchingly (and this is where the reading and conventions
come in), and it can be defeated with a strong dose
of Hashem’s help, but our nefesh beheimis is here to stay.
We will always be territorial and survival-oriented, attracted
to the basic physical pleasures that are part and
parcel of this world. This instinct can “sleep,” allowing us
the dangerous illusion that is no longer alive, but it will live
as long as we do. The greater the degree to which we are
honest with ourselves, remaining aware of and giving direction
to our “other self,” the more likely we are to achieve
real change.
The haftara on Yom Kipper presents two approaches to
taming the beast. Sefer Yona, the Vilna Gaon tells us, is both
the story of a prophet and the story of every soul. The soul
is called yona, the dove, because of its instinctive desire to
cleave to Hashem unconditionally and eternally – like the
dove, who is ever loyal to its mate and, unlike other birds,
will submit to the slaughterer’s knife without flinching or
flapping its wings.
It is also called ben Amitai, “son of the Truthful One,”
since the soul also knows the truth instinctively. Its mission
is to “go to the Great City,” the tumultuous, fascinating
world out there, and “call out G-d’s Name,” make His Presence
known, because “its evil has risen before Me.” What it
its evil The Gaon tells us that there is only one accusation:
“You have defiled My Sanctuary.” Hashem created for us a
world that is bold, beautiful and engaging, but we are to
use it with awareness and sanctity. Tragically, we tend to
let our animal selves lead us aimlessly.
Yona escaped to Tarshish, which was the richest and
most colorful storehouse of wealth in the ancient world.
He descended to Yaffo, which means “beauty,” in order to
escape the challenge of his mission.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rav Shalom Ber, zy”a, tells us in
his Kuntres Ha’avoda that there are two ways for us to take
hold of the reins once again, so that we will be leading the
“animal” rather than being led by it. Both involve changing
our relationship to Hashem. One is awe of Hashem, and the
other is love of Hashem.
Awe is instinctive. It speaks the same language as the
animal, provides us with the means of moving in a completely
different direction. Through daily mediation on the
physical world itself, its astounding intricacy, and its overwhelming
and constantly changing beauty, we can move
closer to reflecting on Hashem’s Presence in our own lives,
His providence and His interventions. We can learn to see
ourselves as part of the creation itself, just as dependent
and subservient as a leaf or a sunset. This leads us to ask
new questions, such as “How can I serve the Master”
The other path is developing our love of Hashem, which
is not a matter of instinct. When we say our daily prayers,
we can focus on the truth of the words, both in the broadest
and most general sense, and also in the most intimate
and specific sense. Because this is counterintuitive, prayer
is called avoda, “work.” It sharpens our sensitivity to the
One we are addressing and helps us feel the same sort of
closeness throughout the day.
Ahava and yira are called “wings.” When we learn to use
our wings, we can fly.
Reprinted with permission from Hamodia.