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UCSF and the Jewish Home partner for research A world of interests ...

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For Jews in particular, dementia<br />

raises thorny <strong>the</strong>ological issues.<br />

One that especially troubles me<br />

is our self-image as “<strong>the</strong> people<br />

<strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> Book” – a people to whom<br />

learning <strong>and</strong> literacy are central.<br />

What happens to a Jew who can<br />

no longer read <strong>the</strong> Book? What<br />

becomes <strong>of</strong> her relationship<br />

to <strong>the</strong> <strong>Jewish</strong> people, to <strong>Jewish</strong><br />

history, <strong>and</strong> to God when she<br />

cannot read <strong>the</strong> Bible, <strong>the</strong><br />

prayers, or <strong>the</strong> Haggadah?<br />

What else does our tradition have to <strong>of</strong>fer? In a little<br />

gem <strong>of</strong> a book about <strong>Jewish</strong> spirituality, Rabbi Samuel<br />

Dresner takes <strong>the</strong> emphasis <strong>of</strong>f <strong>the</strong> mind <strong>and</strong> directs our<br />

attention to ano<strong>the</strong>r precious sign <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> image <strong>of</strong> God –<br />

<strong>the</strong> human soul. In Prayer, Humility <strong>and</strong> Compassion<br />

(1957), he writes:<br />

“Man is like a cord tied at two ends: bound to <strong>the</strong> earth<br />

through his body <strong>and</strong> to heaven through his soul. He is<br />

partly animal through <strong>the</strong> physical aspect <strong>of</strong> his being<br />

<strong>and</strong> partly angel through <strong>the</strong> spiritual aspect <strong>of</strong> his<br />

being. He is mortal yet immortal, transient yet eternal,<br />

filled at once with misery <strong>and</strong> gr<strong>and</strong>eur. …”<br />

Even as his fa<strong>the</strong>r neared <strong>the</strong> end <strong>of</strong><br />

his life, Rabbi Sheldon Marder found<br />

a way to “remain in relationship.”<br />

… According to Maimonides,<br />

when God said, “Let us make<br />

man in our image,” God was<br />

referring to <strong>the</strong> intellect. Our<br />

… How, <strong>the</strong>n, do we touch <strong>the</strong> soul, <strong>the</strong> divine element<br />

in every human being? How can we find <strong>the</strong> gr<strong>and</strong>eur<br />

amidst so much misery?<br />

… Empathy, relationship, creativity. These are my<br />

three doorways into <strong>the</strong> l<strong>and</strong> <strong>of</strong> dementia, my three<br />

suggestions <strong>for</strong> touching <strong>the</strong> divine soul <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> man<br />

or woman in “<strong>the</strong> valley <strong>of</strong> trouble.” Each doorway is<br />

“Empathy, relationship, <strong>and</strong> creativity. These are <strong>the</strong> ingredients <strong>of</strong> a<br />

Judaism that is habilitative <strong>for</strong> people with dementia, a Judaism that can<br />

help a person hold on to what remains, <strong>for</strong> as long as possible.”<br />

Doorways <strong>of</strong> Hope<br />

likeness to God, he said, is not physical, it is mental.<br />

Does this mean that <strong>the</strong> person with dementia<br />

becomes, in <strong>the</strong> course <strong>of</strong> his illness, an increasingly<br />

flawed <strong>and</strong>, in <strong>the</strong> words <strong>of</strong> Rabbi Hershel Matt,<br />

“fading image <strong>of</strong> God”?<br />

… And <strong>the</strong>n <strong>the</strong>re is <strong>the</strong> loss <strong>of</strong> memory. What is <strong>the</strong><br />

<strong>Jewish</strong> religion without <strong>the</strong> memory <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> exodus from<br />

Egypt? … What is Judaism without yizkor <strong>and</strong> kaddish,<br />

our cherished prayers <strong>of</strong> remembrance? Who are we<br />

if we no longer remember <strong>the</strong> Sabbath day, to keep it<br />

holy? If we no longer remember <strong>the</strong> evil wrought by<br />

Haman <strong>and</strong> Hitler? Who are we when we cannot share<br />

<strong>the</strong> collective <strong>Jewish</strong> memory <strong>of</strong> slavery in <strong>the</strong> l<strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>of</strong> Egypt?<br />

… We are a people <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> book, a people <strong>of</strong> intellect, a<br />

people <strong>of</strong> memory. Learning <strong>and</strong> remembrance have<br />

been effective <strong>Jewish</strong> survival strategies <strong>for</strong> centuries.<br />

But we also have to recognize that <strong>the</strong>se strategies,<br />

which place <strong>the</strong> mind at <strong>the</strong> center <strong>of</strong> religious life,<br />

cannot function <strong>for</strong> a Jew facing dementia.<br />

a petach tikvah – an opening <strong>of</strong> hope. None <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>se<br />

doorways depend on <strong>the</strong> learning, literacy, <strong>and</strong> memory<br />

so central to <strong>the</strong> Judaism most <strong>of</strong> us practice. There<strong>for</strong>e,<br />

I want to suggest that dementia requires a different<br />

kind <strong>of</strong> Judaism.<br />

Poet Tess Gallagher, who was <strong>the</strong> caregiver during her<br />

mo<strong>the</strong>r’s 17 years <strong>of</strong> Alzheimer’s, writes that during<br />

that time she <strong>and</strong> her mo<strong>the</strong>r achieved something<br />

surprising: “We moved beyond <strong>for</strong>getting. … From stage<br />

to stage I kept insisting, until I did manage to stimulate<br />

both doctors <strong>and</strong> caregivers toward <strong>the</strong> sense that,<br />

even though her condition might be ‘hopeless’ in <strong>the</strong><br />

ultimate sense <strong>of</strong> what medicine could <strong>of</strong>fer, <strong>the</strong>re<br />

were still unexplored things we could do to make life<br />

better <strong>for</strong> her.” (Beyond Forgetting, ed. Holly J. Hughes,<br />

2009) This daughter hoped <strong>for</strong> something better <strong>for</strong> her<br />

mo<strong>the</strong>r: a life that was less confusing, more secure, <strong>and</strong><br />

more attentive to her mo<strong>the</strong>r’s feelings.<br />

24<br />

<strong>Jewish</strong> Senior Living 2009/ 2010

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