Grandmaster Ken MacKenzie - Taekwondo Times

I am “un-offendable.” At least that’s what I keep
telling myself every time someone offends me.
A good friend of mine who literally mentored
me in the TV business, told me straight up when I
got my first TV break, “If you really want to make
it in this business, you’re going to have to learn how
to smile and keep your mouth shut.” It was the best
advice I ever got, and I soon found out why.
What a funny business. It seems you get hired
because you’re deemed “better” than all the other
candidates out there. Sometimes, you have to beat
out hundreds of other talents to just get a shot at a
major market position. Then once you get that job, all
they do is tell you how you’re not “measuring up.” You
get viewers calling in telling you how much they hate
your outfit or hair-do. If you let it, you’ll go home and
that business will just suck the soul right out of your
chest.
But not if you can learn how to smile and keep
your mouth shut. It’s a real battle over the flesh to do
it, but it teaches you how to not be offended. In the
long run, I’ve never seen it not pay off.
Those of you who have dogs know exactly what
I’m talking about when I say that man’s best friend
cannot be offended. I used to come home and head
straight for the bathroom. Seconds later, there was my
dog, busting through the door. I used to yell, “If you’re
going to do that, the least you
can do is close the door
behind you!” It didn’t
matter what I
said. Poncho, my
mischievous wiener
dog, would
just stand
there with his
tail wagging,
because, like
all dogs, he was
un-offendable.
Webster’s defines “offense” as something that
offends or displeases. In our martial arts training,
offense is the opposite of defense. More simply
put, offense is the attack mode. Yet, we don’t find
offense in being offensive because that’s just the
way it is. In their basic process, the martial arts are
the tactical training of offense and defense.
I remember when I was an orange belt. We had
a guest instructor from Korea teaching class that
week. He was really into hook-kicks, and I really
couldn’t do them. So the next night, I thought
I would be the good student, come in early and
personally ask him for help with this kick before
class. He didn’t speak much English, but he did
pull out a chair and say, “200 times each leg.”
Though I never did ask this particular instructor
for help again, his actions didn’t offend me, because
I fully understood that he was trying to help me
become a better martial artist.
I wonder if we can apply that same principle
to those in our own lives whom we find offensive.
Could it be that they have been placed as
a teacher on our own stage to make us a better
person? As a “master,” I have discovered that those
who have offended me have forced me to look more
closely at the things that I have not yet “mastered.”
The most offensive people in my life have
also taught me the hardest hitting lessons of my
life. Like how to be patient, tolerant and have
unconditional love.
All I know is, when I smiled and kept my
mouth shut on the job, whoever was being offensive
toward me had no other choice but to go
away. What else was there to say? By the way, I
also have a pretty mean hook-kick!
Karen Eden is a fourth-degree black belt and master in the art of
Tang Soo Do. She is also a published author, former radio personality
and TV journalist, who has appeared on CNN, FOX National,
and Animal Planet. She has also appeared in two major Hollywood
productions. Karen has written for and appeared in many martial
arts publications over the years. Her books include The Complete
Idiot’s Guide to Tae Kwon Do (Penguin Books) and I Am a Martial
Artist (Century Martial Arts). She is also the poet behind the popular
I Am a Martial Artist product line, also available through Century
Martial Arts, and Dojo Darling martial arts wear, available through
Karatedepot.com. Master Eden currently teaches at-risk youth
through the Salvation Army in Denver, Colorado. For contact or booking
information, email her at sabomnim@toast.net.
Woman of the Times
By Karen Eden
taekwondotimes.com / November 2009 81