Corpus Tamrielicum - The Imperial Library

[20.5] FOOLS' EBONY V
CONTESSA: What on Tamriel are you doing? This is not the time for studying anatomy!
ADVENTURER: Don't argue, climb inside!
CONTESSA: Poppydash and Baldercock! Inside that smelly dead giant? My dear Adventurer,
I'm a Lady.
ADVENTURER: It's our only hope! The giant smell will hide our scent, and live giants never
touch dead ones. Quick!
(The Adventurer and the Contessa climb inside the steaming giant's body)
ADVENTURER: Here, help me pull the skin shut - and try not to throw up. Don't make a
sound.
(Enter Prologue)
PROLOGUE: A few hour pass.
(Exit Prologue) (The Adventurer and the Wanton Contessa poke their heads out of the giant's
belly.)
ADVENTURER: They've all left, but it's snowing hard. Definitely getting real cold. We
better stay here.
CONTESSA: It indeed is warm.
ADVENTURER: It will keep us warm, safe from the storm and giants, for a day or so if we
can stand the smell. Here, want some bread?
(The Contessa falls victim to nausea)
(Enter Prologue)
PROLOGUE: For this, the last scene of the play, please forgive us, but we need to change the
set. Remove the "giant corpses" and whatnot. Please be patient while our bard performs the
timeless classic "Whither Goest Thou?"
(Bard plays "Whither Goest Thou?" If the scenarists take too long, he also plays "For Further
Consideration.")
PROLOGUE: Ah, here we are, back at the Dead Daedra Inn. The Contessa and the
Adventurer made it, after all. They had to pay three times the normal rate, for they were very
dirty and stinky. Now poor Prologue will bid you farewell, goodly people.
Scene 6
CONTESSA: Thank the Gods for hot water and soap! I thought I would smell like a giant
forever.
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