The End and the Beginning - Open Book Publishers

Unsere Töchter die Nazinen
face of their constant mockery of her, she gives up communicating honestly
with them both. She feels oppressed by being unable to express her real
feelings to anyone.
I can’t really say out loud what I truly feel. My whole life has become a kind of
whispering, a fruitless conversation with myself. Watching every word and gesture,
hiding one’s true feelings, making sure to tell everyone what he or she wants to hear,
what kind of life is that? How I would love to belong to the crowd that is in power
and be able to shout out my opinions as I wish. The terrible thing is that you never
know who will ultimately be in power. Now, there’s this new party, under Hitler. I
don’t care much for him because he is an Austrian and a Catholic, but at least he lets
the Jews have it.[…] Sometimes I wonder whether we shouldn’t join this new party
[…] rather than the Deutschnationalists. If only I were sure that the new party isn’t
serious about socialism. (69)
Besides, Lieselotte is not altogether wrong about the Luisenbund. It is
boring. She has been a loyal monarchist all her life, the Frau Doktor reflects,
“but do we have to talk all the time about Doorn!” And “the old goats” –
the term she now uses to refer to the two leading members of the circle,
a Major’s wife and a baroness Hellsdorf (whose son will later become
engaged to marry Lieselotte) – “never let me get in a word.” Because
they once visited the Kaiser in Doorn they never stop talking about how
graciously they were received. Everyone else, she observes resentfully, is
made to feel small and insignificant. (71)
Feldhüter is somewhat less resistant to his wife’s new political
enthusiasm for the National Socialists. He reassures her that the National
Socialist leaders are unlikely to build a socialist system. “That is only to get
the workers to go along with them,” he explains. But when the Frau Doktor
asks whether they shouldn’t encourage Lieselotte to join the party, since its
leader is now the new Chancellor, and cites the example of Claudia, who
has been a member for a month already, Arthur again says no. “A lot of
hysterical women have joined,” he replies. Lieselotte should not join – not
at least for now. “First we have to wait and see the results of the elections.”
(70) The Frau Doktor is beside herself: “Wait and see, Doctor Wait-and-See.
God, how I hated him at that moment. Wait and see. He wouldn’t even
have married me, the hideous clubfoot, if I hadn’t talked him into believing
I was pregnant.” (71)
The Reichstag fire provokes a violent outburst in the Frau Doktor, a
family row, and an unexpected reconciliation with her husband. She is
more and more drawn to the National Socialists as they talk of closing
down the department stores – where ordinary Germans, she notes, are
sold shoddy goods at high prices, like the summer dress, bought only the
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