Arnon Bentovim - Episteme

The impact of Trauma on Attachment – 

Trauma Organised Systems and 

Traumatic Attachments 

Promoting the recovery of children exposed to a 

climate of family violence and adversity- 

A life span trauma narrative approach 

Systems of Trauma 

Systemic interventions in post –traumatic situations 

Turin 2007 

Arnon Bentovim 

www/childandfamilytraining.org.uk 

bentovim@lcfcs.co.uk

Growing up in a climate of abuse and 

violence 

Sebastian Faulks - Engleby(2006) 

• ‘That child would slowly ascend towards full 

awareness in a world whose sky was violence and 

whose horizons were fear. And however resourceful 

he was, however patient and fortunate in the events 

of his life which followed, he was like a creature in a 

nest of imprisoning boxes who could never really 

break free’ 

• ‘This was his world and any attempt to persuade him 

that it was merely a ‘subjective’ or ‘individual’ 

experience would never convince him’

Goals for the presentation 

• 1 Current research on the impact of living in a 

climate of violence, abuse and neglect on children 

• 2. Approaches to assessing and intervening on the 

impact of these events on children young people and 

carers 

• 3. Approaches which are helpful to create a 

transformative narrative of traumatic and stressful 

events over the life-span of the child 

• 4. Approaches to promote recovery and growth 

• 5. Acknowledgements

U.S. Perspective of the Impact of Trauma on 

Development 

(Harris, Lieberman and Marans JCPP 2007) 

• ‘Each year exposure to violent trauma takes its 

toll on the development of children 

• Children are at increasing risk of school failure, 

anxiety, depression and PTSD; alcohol and drug 

abuse; the perpetration of the violence to which 

they were exposed 

• ‘Troubled children’ in education system, child 

protection, law enforcement, substance abuse, 

criminal justice 

• The root of their problem – exposure to violence 

and and abuse is unrecognised

NSPCC study on Prevalence of abusive 

experiences in childhood 

• Serious physical abuse and violence causing physical injury, 

7% 

• Serious absence of physical care carrying a high risk of 

injury 6% 

• Serious absence of supervision allowed to stay out 

overnight under 10, parents not knowing whereabouts under 14, 

5% 

• Serious emotional,control,domination,humiliation 

withdrawing affection 6% 

• Sexual abuse, all forms 12 and under 16% 

• Sexual abuse, contact abuse 11%

Poly-victimisation: A neglected 

component in child victimisation 

(Finlelhor, Ormrod and Turner 2007 CAN) 

• National representative sample of of children’s experiences 

of violence and the mental health consequences, 2- 17 

• Juvenile Violence Questionnaire, sexual victimisation, 

physical assault, property victimisation, maltreatment, peer/sib 

victimisation, witnessing 

• 22% experienced 4 different types of victimisation in 

previous year, high (7) 7%, lower (4-6) 15% 

• Adversity factors relevant, and co-occuring in rape, 

witnessing assault, dating violence 

• Higher the number of victim experiences the more 

extensive the mental health effects, and the less specific 

the effects

The impact of living in a climate of violence – 

the development of sexually abusive behaviour 

(BMJ. 317, 175-179 1998) 

SIGNIFICANT FACTORS 

• Experiencing 

intrafamilial violence 

• Witnessing family 

violence 

• Rejection by family 

• Discontinuity of care 

Recurrent acts of 

physical abuse 

Recurrent exposure to 

marital violence or sibling 

abuse 

Rejection by emotional 

abuse or neglect 

Marital breakdown, in care, 

Children’s home, foster care 

18.0 

8.1 

7.5 

7.2

Models to understand the family as a 

violence prone institution 

• Cumulative models the numbers of biological, family and 

environmental stressors rather than particular combination 

• Biosocial model –the interactional and cumulative effects of 

biological and environmental adversity 

• Eco-systemic models- looks at the way family and 

environmental stressors affect parenting and the impact on how 

children's needs are met 

• Trauma-organised systems organising the realities of 

relationships

Impact of traumatic experiences on brain 

development (Glaser) 

• Experience determines pattern of brain development, 

• Brain development mirrors experience 

• Effect of serious deprivation causes most harm by 

o early experiences incorporated into neural networks 

o The effects of stress on brain development 

• Established connections not erasable but new learning 

(synapses) possible 

• Patterns often enduring, children experience threat despite 

protection, hyper-vigilant, hyper-aroused dissociation is a 

form of flight 

• Secure attachment is protective of stress response

Impact of traumatic experiences on 

development – dynamic narratives 

• Attachment trauma life-span impact of cumulative adversity 

• failure of mentalisation –the loss of a capacity to symbolise mental 

states –understand one’s own and others thinking or feeling 

• Fails to distinguish between internal and external reality 

• Dissociated from reality- loss of memory – false self/reality 

formation 

• Traumatic bonding –disorganised attachments –clinging to abusive 

parents – 

• Identification with the abuser –the perspective of the malevolent 

other- an alien being in the self representation

Family Violence –Trauma Organised 

Systems 

Systemic narratives 

• Trauma-Organised Systems are action systems 

• The “victimiser” is overwhelmed by impulses to 

actions of a physically,sexually ,or emotionally 

abusive nature,which emerge from his 

experiences.They are felt to be”beyond control” 

• The cause is attributed to the “victim”who in 

line with individual,familial and cultural 

narratives, is construed as responsible for the 

victimisers feelings and intentions. 

• Potential protectors are neutralised,organised by 

a process of minimisation,deletion and denial

Growing up resilient in a climate of 

violence and abuse 

Child abuse and neglect volume 31, no3 march 2007 

edited by Cathy Widom 

• Stressful factors and effects accumulate in 

particular families 

• Consequences accumulate in strength over time 

• A sub-set of individuals are resilient in adolescence, 

young adulthood and into later life ‘turning points’ can 

occur 

• Bright and sociable evoke support from teachers 

and children, fosters positive adaptation, the child going 

from strength to strength 

• Modifying behaviours consequent to abuse launches 

positive trajectories. 

• Multisystemic interventions minimise family and 

neighbourhood stressors, foster children’s innate 

personal resources overcomes impact of adversity

Clinical contexts where exposure to a 

climate of violence is characteristic 

• Children of parents with mental health, marital 

violence and substance abuse 

• Looked after children in foster and residential care 

• Later adopted children and young people 

• Young people responsible for seriously offending 

behaviour, secure placements 

• Young people in in-patient care 

• Children and young people taking a caring role 

with parents with disability and mental health 

problems

Establishing a context of work 

• Role of parents, foster carers, adoptive parents, 

residential workers and therapists taking a 

collaborative role 

• Therapeutic elements include 

- Establishing a context of adequate care 

-Trauma focussed therapeutic approaches 

- Narrative approaches 

-Systemic solution focussed approaches 

-The creative use of approaches

Stages of Therapeutic Work in Constructing a 

transformative life-span trauma narrative 

• First stage –Providing protection and constructing a 

professional narrative 

• Second stage – engaging the child or young person 

in therapeutic work 

• Third stage – Finding a language to engage in 

exploring emotional responses associated with 

traumatic life events 

• Fourth stage – Creating a narrative account of 

traumatic life events 

• Fifth Stage - Promoting recovery and a future 

resilient life

First Stage – 

Providing protection and constructing a 

professional narrative and profile of 

harmful impacts

Assessment Framework 

A map of relevant data to be collected 

Identity 

Family & Social 

Relationships 

Social Presentation 

Selfcare Skills 

Education 

Emotional & 

Behavioural Development 

Health 

CHILD’S DEVELOPMENTAL NEEDS 

CHILD 

Safeguarding 

CHILD 

Safeguarding & 

promoting & 

promoting welfare 

welfare 

Basic Care 

PARENTING CAPACITY 

Ensuring Safety 

FAMILY & ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS 

Emotional Warmth 

Stimulation 

Guidance & 

Boundaries 

Stability 

Housing 

Income 

Community 

Resources 

Family’s Social 

Integration 

Employment 

Wider Family 

Family History 

& Functioning

Harm to Healthy 

Development Neglect, 

Failure to Thrive 

Parental Difficulties & Harmful 

Impacts on Development 

Insecurity, 

accidental & non 

accidental 

injuries, physical 

& sexual abuse 

Difficulties 

in providing 

protection & 

security 

Difficulties in 

provision of care & 

attention to health 

needs 

Negative 

family & 

environmental 

factors 


providing 

stimulation & 

communication 

Harm to 

psychological & 

educational 

development 

potential 

Harm to 

emotional 

development 

& emotional 

functioning 


providing consistent 

emotional warmth 

and responsiveness 


providing guidance, 

boundaries & 

management of 

behaviour 


providing stable 

relationships 

Harm to Identity 

Formation & 

Capacity for 

making 

relationships 


Harm to capacity to 

develop collaborative 

& prosocial behaviour

Gary 

THE WARDS 

Moira 

Ian 

14yrs 

8yrs 

Laura 

Michael

WARD FAMILY - Family Assessment 

• Former period of satisfactory care. Moira’s previous violent 

partners, alcohol used as a coping strategy. 

• Ian’s family use violence as means of control 

• Ian and Laura forceful, conflictual, Moira and Michael 

tentative, overwhelmed 

• Michael withdrawn sad and needy, Laura supports Michael, 

Moira organised by Ian’s forceful adversarial views, feels 

conflicted by her commitment to Ian and the pull of the 

children, Laura asserts family values 

• Michaels needs not met, Moira drinking heavily, Laura absents 

herself, risk of violence between the couple and towards 

children 

• Secure attachments have been disrupted by Moira’s 

accommodation to Ian who demands self-sufficiency, is punitive 

and critical, triggering Moira’s drinking

infantile/pseudomature 

Insecure, 

disorganised or 

indiscriminate 

attachments, 

/controlling angry, 

dismissive 

responses 

Unresponsive, 

unreliable, 

fragmented care 

giving 

Inaprop. 

expectations 

dependence/ 

independenc 

e 

Failure to 

provide 

security and 

protection 

from harm 

Failure to provide security 

and protection from harm 

inappropriate 

punitiveness or 

sexual, 

experiences 

Evidence of 

physical or sexual 

abuse, sexualised 

behaviour, 

frozen/arousal 

responses 

Evidence of harmful 

exposure 

exposure to risky 

individuals inside 

and outside the 

home 

Unsafe 

environment, 

physical hazards 

inside outside the 

home 

injuries, 

continuing 

unprotected 

risks 

Arnon Bentovim

Pervasive 

negative mood 

and self 

perception, 

affective 

disorders, 

aggressive 

oppositional 

responses 

Lack of emotional 

responsiveness, or 

regulation of 

emotional states 

frozen, arousal state, 

anger, fear, clinging 

avoidance 

negative 

emotional 

tone, 

exploits, 

disqualifies 

lack of 

support 

Failure to express or 

respond to feelings, 

critical, humiliating 

rejection. ignoring 

Failure to 

provide 

adequate 

emotional 

warmth and 

protection 

Traumatic losses 

and traumatic 

stressful events, 

Failure to provide adequate emotional 

warmth and responsiveness 

Failure of 

empathic, 

emotional 

understanding, 

parental emotional 

states, distorted 

perceptions 

mental health, 

relationship 

conflict, substance 

abuse 

Lack of empathy, 

unfeeling, 

aggressive, 

withdrawn, 

distancing, 

Persistent fear, 

distress, anxiety, 

anger,, 

regression, 

caretaking 

responses, 

organised by 

parental reality 


Persistent grief and 

unresolved traumatic 

symptoms, 

dissociated states,

Steps to determine risks of re-abuse, and 

prospects for rehabilitation (1) 

• Overall levels of harm 

• Level of protection parenting and therapeutic work 

required 

• Acknowledgement of harm, responsibility taken, and 

need for intervention 

• Acknowledgement of level of parenting difficulties 

• Motivation to achieve change 

• Potential to respond to child’s needs within time 

frame

Steps to determine risks of re-abuse and 

potential for rehabilitation 

• Influence of Individual and Relationship factors 

• Acknowledgement of role and potential for change 

within child’s time frame 

• Recognition of role of environmental factors and 

potential to change 

• Role of family professional relationships

Overall Process of work 

Initial intervention 

Therapeutic work in a context of protection 

Work with Perpetrators and Protective parents 

The use of different intervention approaches 

Rehabilitation phase of work

Developing 

secure 

attachments, 

confidence & 

freedom from 

harm 

Developing 

adequate 

emotional coping 

skills & resilience 

Providing 

responsive 

care, safety 

& protection 

Providing 

emotional warmth 

and responsiveness 

Developing 

healthily & 

good self care, 

thriving 

Provision of 

basic care & 

attention to 

health 

Positive family 

& 

environmental 

factors 

Providing adequate 

boundaries & 

managing behaviour 

Providing 

adequate 

stimulation & 

communication 

Providing stable 

& consistent 

family 

relationships 

Parental Strengths & Impacts 

on Child Development 

Developing 

skills & 

educational 

capacities & 

potential 

Developing a sense 

of identity, social & 

family relating 


Developing 

collaborative & 

prosocial behaviour

•1996 you were born 

•1998 2 years 

•1999 3 years old 




•2003/2004 7/8 years 

Charlotte’s Life- Experiences 

•You lived on an estate 

•Your brother was born 

•Your sister was born 

•Your Dad, Mum and your brother and sister 

moved around all over the country. Dad got 

violent to your uncle when you were staying 

with him. The police arrested him. Mum was 

scared and left, she was too scared of dad to 

take you, she had a handicap 

•Dad was arrested for being drunk, he 

argued with your aunt and left with you and 

your sibs, he had a lot of trouble with anger 

•You all moved to another house with dad’s 

friends who used drugs, You went on 

moving, living in pubs and homeless 

accommodation 

•Dad had a gun, dad was drinking a lot, you 

were filthy 

•You were living in a mess, not being fed or 

looked after, not going to school 

•After a lot of concerns by social workers 

you are taken into care, your dad is in prison 

for hitting someone badly

Charlotte’s Initial State, aged 8 

• Health-Poor growth, neglected appearance, persistent UTI 

• Education – Continuing restlessness ,aimless, boredom, poor 

basic skills, major gaps requires significant remedial help, 

• Emotion –Indiscriminate, insecure disorganised Phases of 

extreme emotional distress, pervasive negative mood, 

intolerance of frustration, anger, arousal and oppositional 

behaviour. No capacity to think about others ’ 

• Post-traumatic nightmares, flash-backs, re-experiencing is 

less

Charlotte’s initial state 

• Identity-Has to be a compulsive carer, wants to clean, do 

housework. Feels close to her father, preoccupied with him, is 

angry she is not with him. Very poor sense of herself, rejects 

foster carer 

• Relationships-Has no capacity to confide in her foster-carers, 

longs to see her siblings, fighting and rivalrous with foster sibs, 

• Social relationships- squabbling and unable to make 

friendships 

• Self presentation Ashamed of her appearance ,felt dirty, 

compulsively washing 

• Self care Has lapses, forgets to wash, wets soils, infantile 

capacities

Second Stage 

Working with Children 

•Establishing the child’s life-line and 

experiences

Therapeutic Approaches 

•Establishing a working 

relationship and alliance – 

building up an attachment – 

individual, group and family 

contexts 

•Working with protective parents, 

carers of creating a ‘therapeutic 

team’ who witness both the 

impact of trauma and its 

overcoming 

•Awareness of attachment style 

•Fosters acceptance, collaborative 

consistent, reliable, safe, calm 

•Fosters cohesion, belonging and 

boundaries, clarify confused 

perceptions 

•Fosters sharing pleasure, pain, 

successes 

•Reframe, positively connote 

behaviour, and externalises 

problems –’ the spoiler’ 

•Seek exceptions, solutions, 

survivor scripts

How do I tell my story?

Other methods used 

•Geno-gram 

•Psychotherapeutic board games 

•Video – in relation to Anger 

management 

•Building bricks – used as an analogy for 

‘coping strategies’ 

•Video player – Buttons for Play, Pause, 

Re-edit, Stop and Eject (help Timothy 

to manage his flashbacks)

Pete’s Ecomap 

ECOMAP SECTION 

0 – 5 years 

Mrs 

McGavin 

Model 

Maker 

Ian 

Pat 

Mum 

Dad 

John 

Mrs 

Woodhall 

YOU 

Granddad 

Carl 

Auntie 

Lily 

Nan 

BO 

You are in the centre, there are 2 outer circles, an inner circle to put important people who 

are close to you, e.g. family members, and an outer circle to put in people who are not so 

close. You can join up the people to yourself with lines to show the bond.

Norman’s Life-Line

Similarities 

•Both of us are funny and like cars 

•We can both cook and we both swear 

Ways to describe Dad 

•Workaholic 

•Does illegal things 

Things I would like to be different: 

•That he had treated us nicely 

•Me still living with him 

•Him not doing illegal things 

•Him being there for me when things were 

bad 

Things I learned from Dad 

•How not to treat women 

•How to fix cars 

•Humour 

•Swearing 

How can he help me in future? 

•With money and bits I need

Similarities 

•Both get upset 

•Can both cook and draw 

•Like the same music and films 

Ways to describe Mum 

•Kind and caring 

•Calm and observant 

Things I would like to be different: 

•Her picking a decent boyfriend 

•Her having some confidence in herself 

•That she had stood up for me more when I 

was little 

Things I learned from Mum 

•How to cook 

•How to look after myself 

•That there are really bad people out there 

•Care for others 

How can she help me in future? 

•Being there if I need someone to talk to

Similarities 

•Both funny and a bit silly sometimes 

•Can like cars and playing in the park 

•Both like fashionable clothing 

Ways to describe James 

•Funny and friendly 

•Annoying and nagging 

•Co-operative 

Things I learned from & about James 

•That I should deal with my feelings better 

•That he didn’t like it (sexual abuse) 

•That abuse is not a way of getting back at 

people 

•That he wasn’t responsible 

How can I manage my relationship with him in 

future? 

•Have a meeting with him before I leave 

•Not be on my own with him 

•Tell people when I’m feeling risky 

•Walk away or play football when feeling 

annoyed with him

Third Stage – 

Exploring the emotional 

experiences associated with 

traumatic events

Third Stage 

Exploring the emotional experiences 

associated with traumatic events 

• This stage marks the process of exploring 

feelings and managing them 

• It is vital not to expose painful feelings 

without the tools to cope with such feelings, 

developing coping skills 

• Sharing with carers reinforces the key 

witnessing process which has been found to 

be the essential ingredient in trauma 

therapies

Why am I such a Mess? 

I want my mum to write to me – I want a 

happy family…. I feel abandoned! 

I feel my life is a big mess – I 

am in the middle of it and would 

like some answers!!!

In my Shoes 

The matrix: people, settings 

and emotions

The matrix: people, settings 

and emotions 

people 

emotions 

settings

Standard Scenes

Rachel’s Scenes 

Then the scenes are repeated with a 

male child, then with a female child.

Pete’s Emotions Palette

I’m always anxious 

coming out of cubicles 

when other men are 

there. I always get 

this feeling that they 

watching me.

Structure of the programme: 

Somatic experiences 

Somatic experiences module 

•Representation of pain and discomfort that has been 

experienced. 

•Pain can be represented by different shapes, sizes and an 

indicator of 'throb'. 

•A written account of an uncomfortable experience can be 

incorporated.

Stuart – unable to talk about domestic 

violence 

Stuart 

• Full care order 

• Moderate learning difficulties 

• Witnessed and experienced extensive violence in the 

home 

• Highly anxious 

• Soiling and enuresis 

• Victim of sexual abuse by older peer at school 

• Perpetrator of sexual abuse against younger siblings, 

young cousin and another child

Somatic experiences of Stuart 1

Somatic experiences of Stuart 2

Processing Difficult Experiences 

Vulnerable 

Angry 

Very unsafe 

Defence Left Fullback Centre Half Right Fullback 

Damaging 

things 

Absconding 

Energetic & 

Hyper 

` 

Just give up 

There’s noone 

to look 

after me 

I’m alone 

No-one cares 

L.Midfield Centre Midfield R. Midfield 

Secretive Being abusive Not talking or 

listening 

Centre Forward Strikers

Processing Feelings 2 

Contained 

Safe 

Defence Left Fullback Centre Half Right Fullback 

Family 

work 

I can trust 

people 

Talking about 

my feelings 

Adults taking 

charge in a 

positive way 

Midfields L. Midfield Centre Midfield R. Midfield 

Stick with 

it 

More 

confident 

Taking care 

of myself 

Stay on 

supervision 

Centre Forward Strikers 

It’s going 

to be OK 

Happy

Fourth Stage 

-Processing difficult experiences 

Creating a Narrative of Stressful 

and Traumatic events in your life

Creating the Trauma Narrative 

Defining the nature of the experience 

• We need to go slowly into what happened 

in as much detail as possible,. 

• use all the skills you've developed to 

write, draw and talk even about the most 

distressing 

• Put yourself back there in your mind, as 

if it’s happening, but you’re in control 

• We’ll see how you felt throughout, try to 

make sense of the way you felt, 

• Trauma is like an infection, if it’s left it 

can heal, but it can get worse – the bad stuff 

has to be let out –

Creating the Trauma Narrative 

Promoting recovery –first stages 

• To consider how you felt, what explanation did 

you give yourself and how do you explain it 

now 

• . 

• Arousal, cutting off, fight and flash-backs are 

strengths, but may not be necessary any longer, 

and need to be controlled 

• Use supportive family members to confirm what 

happened 

• , Ask questions, get help to confront those who 

hurt be prepared to answer questions from 

those who you may have hurt

Norman’s Life-Line 

• 10.09.91: Norman was born. Lived 

with Mum and Dad 

• Age 3yrs: Birthday party at 

McDonalds. Living in good 

neighbourhood. 

• Age 5yrs: Moved house and had 

first kiss. 

• Age 6yrs: First memory of watching 

mum and dad row. Went to my 

room 

5. Rowing more frequent 

• Happy 

• “Twas goood!” 

• “Pissed off! Left it 

• Sad & pissed off

• Age 6yrs: Brother Allan born 

• Age 6yrs: Dad left home. I 

saw him pack his bags and walk 

out. I asked mum what was 

happening and she told me. It 

was both their fault. 

• Changed school 

• Age 7-8yrs: David moved in 

(mum’s new boyfriend). Later 

moved house – nice area. Not 

much arguing 

• Very happy 

• Upset, annoyed, angry. 

• Bored but I was popular and had 

lots of friends 

• Happy

• Age 8yrs: Sister Lilly born 

• Arguing increased between Mum and 

boyfriend. Age 9-10yrs they split 

up and he moved out 

• Age 11yrs. We moved house and 

moved in with ‘an arsehole’ called 

Gerry and his daughter (9-10yrs). 

Shared a bedroom with Allan. Moved 

school. Had no friends. 

• Happiest day of my life 

• Annoyed, angry, upset 

• Felt crap. Couldn’t be asked.

•At this point Norman was finding it increasingly 

difficult to talk about his experiences. Instead 

he used the life line to communicate. I would ask 

him questions and he would write or draw the 

answers on the life line

• Age 11yrs: Moved in with 

Dad and Carrie (his wife), 

James (her son), Allan. 

• Age 13yrs: Sexually abused 

James 

• ANGRY! Because she thinks 

she can boss me about.

Fifth Stage 

Transforming the Trauma 

Narrative 

Promoting Recovery –later 

stages

Charlottes Trauma Narrative, 

the process of recovery and growth 

•Then 

•I was horrid to mum, we hit her, 

spat at her, threw food on the floor, 

dad would hit her if she didn’t 

make something different. She did 

what I told her 

•Mum argued with dad, she walked 

out on us, dad cared about us, she 

did’nt 

•We didn’t have to go to school, we 

played in the road, dad took us to 

loads of places we had a good time 

•Dad got into fights, he was at the 

pub, we were frightened, we had 

to clear up if he was sick, he was 

better than mum 

•Now 

•I'm not like my dad, I look like 

him, but I’m soft like mum really, I 

don’t have to hit people with bats, 

he’s scary, I cant trust him, he 

never says sorry, why not? 

•I wished I hadn’t been horrid to 

mum, it wasn’t right, I’d like to say 

sorry 

•I wished I went to school. I've 

missed out, I’m cross and sad 

•The nights were worst, really 

frightening, dad started trouble, we 

never knew what would happen. 

Dad said he’d kill mum if we went 

with her, she wanted us,he blamed 

her, he hit her all the time, it made 

us scared.

Changes noted in Charlotte 

1 The evidence for recovery and growth 

• She has been in foster care 2 years 8 – 10 years 

• Health- Gradual improvement in all areas of functioning, 

• Education – Continuing restlessness, boredom,major gaps no 

concept of time 

• Emotion –extreme emotional distress, anger, arousal and 

oppositional behaviour modifying.’ 

• Miss ‘Temper’ is less in control, Mood is generally more positive 

• She is beginning to think about how other people feel, and how 

to treat them, mentalising 

• Not the punitive parent in therapy, experiences the terror 

and fear she was exposed to 

• Post-traumatic nightmares, flash-backs, re-experiencing is 

less

Changes noted in Charlotte 

2. The evidence for recovery and growth 

• Identity- Distancing herself from birth family, part of foster 

family –mum and dad- not the compulsive carer 

• She feels different – something clicked –not now traumatically 

bonded to father 

• Relationships- Increasing confiding in Foster mother, has 

written letters to parents 

• Social relationships- still squabbling and losing friends 

• Self presentation proud of her hair and appearance, was 

ashamed felt dirty, compulsively washing 

• Self care –has lapses, forgets to wash

Old me – New me

OLD ME 

Smoking 

Swearing a lot 

Hanging around in gangs 

Sexually abusive 

Angry 

Confused 

Scared 

Unwanted 

NEW ME 

Happy relationship 

Children 

Houses 

Cars 

Working as football coach 

or mechanic 

Earning loads of money 

Cheerful & happy 

Polite 

Not being abusive 

05/06/06 

Angry, scared, 

Annoyed, confused. 

A bit happy and 

Cheerful. Good 

Sense of humour 

06/08/07 

About to leave 

SWAAY

Creating a survivor script with Pete: 1 

• Pete was fixated on needing 

his father to be in prison before 

he could move on. This had to 

be symbolic of putting him 

‘behind bars’. 

• We also worked with Pete to 

accumulate evidence of when 

his positive self had managed to 

come though since been at 

SWAAY.

Pete’s positive thinking cycle 

I can make 

and maintain 

Healthy 

relationships 

I am a 

Good 

person 

I am not my 

father 

I can change 

I do not need 

To control 

others 

I can manage 

my feelings 

I can make 

the 

Right 

choices 

I am responsible 

For my choices

Creating a survivor script with Pete: 

Focusing on the positive present. 

What is the most positive you’ve felt in the 

last week on a scale from 0-10? 

9 

What made you feel like that? 

Getting a placement at college 

How did you feel within yourself? 

Speechless

Creating a survivor script with Pete: 

Future Life Line 

• Next 6months:; start college, see brother, make 

friends, and possibly girlfriend. 

• 6months-1yr: get on with people, learn how to 

handle different types of animals. 

• 1Yr: job as pet shop assistant, achieve certificate. 

• 1yr 6 months: job, and phone. 

• 2yrs: Achieve diploma. 

• 5yrs: get a degree, live with mum for a couple of 

years, have a girlfriend lots of friends, be able to 

drive.

My story as a Survivor and Creating a Good Life 

Timothy 

I am 14 years old. I have got 4 half siblings, 1 brother 

I first was abused when I was 2 years by my Step-dad touching, oral and anal sex. He 

forced me to have sex with Brian’s bottom and Tracey’s vagina. 

No-one believed me except for my dad and his girlfriend. the police said I was too young to 

know .I went into care because of my abusive sexual behaviour towards girls at school. 

I went into 2 foster care homes, I was setting fire and having sex with the girls. I went 

back to dad’ I was always fighting and getting in trouble with the police. 

I stayed for 3 years in foster care I was too bad for them to 

handle me. I showed my penis to their granddaughter,. I came to SWAAY. 

I was smoking, absconding and getting into fights. I touched 2 boys here. 

my Independent Visitor, was sexually abusing me, touching and giving oral sex to him, 

I could not talk. I was scared, worried, frustrated And threatened. I was acting my 

feelings out 

to make adults realise. I finally spoke out I did not want to be a victim any more.

My story as a Survivor and Creating a Good Life 

I am Timothy, I am 14 years old and a SURVIVOR 

When I was 2 years old I was abused by William. 

I was just a child, which makes William responsible for the abuse. 

I didn’t know the difference between right and wrong, I thought it was all just a game 

William forced me to abuse Brian and Tracey. I am feeling annoyed, frustrated and 

confused. 

William took my childhood away from me.. 

I know now what I did to Brian and Tracey was abuse and that it was WRONG. 

I have gone into therapy and talked about it. I am doing group work and individual work. 

I am doing all of these things to help me be a better man. 

I have abused other children. I also know that it was wrong: Because it was under aged. 

Because Both parties didn’t agree. Because it was abuse. 

My Independent Visitor abused me when I was 14. He was responsible because he is the 

ADULT. 

I found it hard to speak out because I was scared. 

He abused the right to be my Independent Visitor. 

I was acting out my feelings. The adults didn’t notice, which left me feeling let down 

until I spoke out and not wanting to be a victim any more. I have worked hard by 

talking and trying to build my relationships back up with some adults. 

I AM A SURVIVOR. MY LIFE IS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT BECAUSE I AM NOT 

GOING TO BE 

A VICTIM OR AN ABUSER ANY MORE. I WANT A GOOD FUTURE WITH A FAMILY 

OF MY OWN. 

I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY FOOTBALL OR RUN MY OWN GARAGE.

Arnon Bentovim - Episteme

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