Spring 2012 Fostering Hope Newsletter - COBYS Family Services

(continued from page one)
recalls, “she just came up to me
and gave me this hug and said
everything was going to be fine.”
The Coopers made it their
goal not only to foster Zameer,
but to foster a supportive
relationship with Bianca. During
the nine months Zameer was in
their home, Matt and Marie
regularly texted updates and
pictures to Bianca.
Marie gave Bianca her phone
number and they began daily
phone conversations. In addition
to interacting at court-appointed
visits, Marie and Zameer met
Bianca at her workplace to go
out for lunch a couple times a
week so mother and son could
form a stronger bond.
The Coopers supported
Bianca as she dealt with criminal
proceedings against Zameer’s
father, whose abuse of Bianca
contributed to Zameer’s
placement in care. They
encouraged her as she got the
help she needed with counseling,
parenting and life skills, and
more. At her own initiative,
Bianca participated in extra
parenting training through the
intensive COBYS Family Nurturing
program.
When the caseworker felt it
was appropriate, the Coopers
invited Bianca to begin attending
church with them at the Lampeter
Church of the Brethren. “It was
kind of scary at first,” says Bianca,
“because I was the only colored
person. But as I entered the door
everybody was so open.”
Lampeter members Drew and
Pam Brubaker became an
additional support and provided
regular transportation to church.
In spring 2011, Bianca was
baptized.
Bianca, now 27, marvels at
how supportive the church has
been. Last summer the Coopers
and Brubakers organized a youth
work day at Bianca’s home. While
Marie, Pam, and Bianca enjoyed
a night at the movies, a swarm of
youth and advisors from the
church cleaned and
redecorated the house.
In September 2011, Zameer
returned home, but the
relationships that had been
formed while he was in care
continued. Bianca now considers
Matt and Marie to be her parents,
and the Coopers have formed a
grandparenting relationship with
Zameer. They babysit regularly
and converse with Bianca by
phone or text several times a
week.
“Marie was like a mother to
me from the first time I met her,”
Bianca states. “Matt Cooper is my
father.” Matt signs his texts to
Bianca, “Love Dad,” she says.
Acknowledging that her own
childhood was full of pain and
trials, Bianca explains, “Marie
and Matt gave me another life
story. When I’m in
their home, I feel
like I always lived
there. I love them
Frank, Katie,
and their
daughter, Aliza,
count the
Coopers as
special friends.
as if they were there when I was a
baby. I didn’t have a family circle,
so they built me one—with God in
the middle.”
Bianca now is pursuing nursing
training. She continues regular
visits to the COBYS Permanency
Unit in Lancaster to see her
special needs son, Janiel, who is
being cared for by another family.
Reaching Out Again
When new foster children
Christopher and Aliza arrived in
the Coopers’ home in May 2010,
Marie and Matt lent the same
support to five-year-old Aliza’s
parents—Frank and Katie—that
they were providing for Bianca. At
the time, behavior related to
Frank’s alcohol addiction had
landed him in prison, and Katie
had neglected her four children
while using illegal drugs. Losing
her children was a wake up call.
“I met Katie at court after
three days (having her children),”
Marie recalls, “and I liked her
immediately.”
Matt and Marie both admired
Katie’s determination to turn her
life around. She ceased her drug
use and utilized the resources
made available to her to remain
drug-free, improve parenting skills,
and more. The COBYS “3 R’s”
program for families struggling
with truancy was one resource
that she found helpful.
During weekly visits, the
Coopers and Katie began to
build a relationship. When Frank
exited prison and entered a
rehab program in Lancaster in
December 2010, the Coopers
reached out to him, as well, but
initially Frank was wary.
“Emotion came up in Frank the
first time he saw Aliza call Matt
‘Daddy,’” says COBYS
(continued on page four)
Fostering Hope 3