bits & bytes - Ping! Zine Web Tech Magazine

Host
Laughs
by Web Host Magazine & Buyer’s Guide
The New Son-In-Law
The CEO of a very successful Web Hosting company in the
mid-west invited his new son-in-law to the company data
center. He walked him around and explained all the ins and
outs of the Hosting business. When they got done with the
tour the CEO brought his son-in-law into his spacious offi ce
where they both sat down to talk.
“As you can see, I run a very successful, multi-million dollar
Web Hosting company. I wanted you to see the operations,
because, I want the man that won my daughter’s hand in
marriage to start off successfully. I want to welcome you
into the family and show you how much we care for you.”
The CEO smiled at the young man. “Because of that, I’ve
already drawn up the legal papers to make you a 50-50
partner in my business! How does that sound?”
The young man was excited “That’s great! Thank you sir!”
He replied.
“Good. Then as of this moment, you own half the company!
Beginning Monday I want you to be here at 8:00 AM, sharp,
and I’ll show you your offi ce and you can get started!”
“That’s great sir! But, I hate offi ce work. I can’t stand being
behind a desk all day,” said the son-in-law.
“Good! Then you want to get right in there and work with
your hands! I’ll have you work in the data center where you’ll
learn networking and troubleshooting techniques from the
best technicians...”
His son-in-law interrupted him “Ahh, that’s something I can’t
do sir.”
“Why Not?”
“Well, sir, I can’t stand being around computers,” said the
young man
“Can’t stand computers! Wait a minute,” said the father-inlaw.
I just made you the half-owner of a multi-million-dollar
organization, and you can’t stand desk work, and you can’t
stand computers! What am I going to do with you?”
“Easy!” Said the young man. “Buy me out!”
66 Ping! Zine Web Hosting Magazine
Overheard in the Parking Lot
Two Web Host executives were overheard at the last
HostingCon in the parking lot. The fi rst one had a coat
hanger trying to unlock the door of the new Mercedes while
the second one stood there, in a frustrated pose. “I can’t
believe you locked the keys in the car!” Just then the coat
hanger slipped.
“Darn! I almost had it,” said the fi rst one. The second one,
looked up at the sky, palm outstretched, feeling a drop of
rain. “Well you’d better hurry up and try harder! It’s starting
to rain, and the top is down!”
The Trouble’s At Your End
A well known Windows programmer from Microsoft decided
he needed a bigger challenge in his life so he enlisted in the
Marines and went to Boot Camp.
At the rifl e range, he was instructed on how to use his
rifl e, given some bullets, and told to fi re at the target. He
fi red several shots at the target and waited for the results.
The report came back that all of his shots had completely
missed the target. The Windows programmer looked at his
rifl e, and then at the target. He looked at the rifl e again, and
then at the target again. He put his fi nger over the end of
the rifl e barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his fi nger was blown off, whereupon he yelled
toward the target area, “The bullet’s are leaving here just
fi ne! The trouble must be at your end!”
Ordering Drinks
A Programmer, a Web Designer and a Web Host lawyer
headed into a bar and ordered their drinks from the
bartender.
Programmer: “I’ll have a B and C.”
Bartender: “What’s a B and C?”.
Programmer: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Web Designer: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”
Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”
Web Designer: “Gin and tonic.”
Web Host lawyer: “I’ll have a 15.”
Bartender: “What’s a 15?”
Web Host lawyer: “7 and 7”