Dying to be thin?Or dying to get thin?Kelli CelmerAs I get older, I always thought the girls youngerthan me were looking smaller because I was gettingolder, but thatʼs not the case anymore. Girls of all agesare now doing almost anything to get the pencil-thinshape shown everywhere: TV, Internet, magazines, andnewspaper. Even their favorite pop stars are sportingthe new, popular trend eating disorders.I sit down on my black, leather couch with a bigbowl of popcorn covered in as much salt and butter mytaste buds can withstand as I flip through the channels.I hope to find a good movie on when I realize everyother channel I pass is either “Americaʼs Next TopModel” or “The Janice Dickinsonʼs Model Agency.”Not only that, but even the news is covering a storyon Nicole Richie whoʼs down to a striking 80 lbs!Congratulations.Iʼm sick of what I see and turn off the TV. I throwmy uneaten bowl of popcorn into the trashcan andanalyze my body—what I thought was regular proportion—inmy mirror. “I donʼt look anything like thosegirls on TV,” I thought to myself. I quickly walkedinto my kitchen and abruptly ask my mom who ispreparing dinner—hamburgers and salad. “Am I fat?”My mom looked at me like I was crazy.“Absolutely not. Sit down and eat a good dinner,”she had told me. Instead I went back into my roomand marveled over my TV at the bodies in front of me,beautiful and tiny. I wish I looked like that, I silentlythought.I know Iʼm not the only girl to ever think that whengrowing up. But my question is why? Why do girlsfeel the need to be so skinny that a brisk wind couldknock them over? Refusing to eat, tossing food away,throwing up why do girls waste so much, includingthemselves, to feel accepted? If girls really sat downand thought about it, essentially in the end—theyarenʼt winning, they arenʼt making themselves skinnier,or even happier they are killing themselves.As I sit happily at lunch and scarf down my crispitosand rice, I look around the lunchroom and see girlsof all grades picking at a handful size salad with nodressing. Girls throwing away full lunches on theirtrays. And even girls eating nothing.How are these growing girls supposed to learn withnothing in their stomachs for almost a full nine hourday?High school is a war zone of girls willing to doanything to be accepted, to be liked, to be loved, to bepopular. What most girls donʼt realize is the happieryou are with yourself—the more others will like youtoo. So girls, itʼs time to turn off the TV and throwthose trashy magazines away. Learn itʼs not aboutdying to be thin. Itʼs about living to be happy withyourself.8 Spring 2008The ERDana HansenI hurried into that dreadful room,The ER,looking back with every step,where was my mom.I was not able to control what would happen next,The warm blood as it trickled,Down my arm,through theblue and white checkered towel.The nurse looked at my wristThe expression of doubt on her faceTold me that she couldnʼt fixMy wristI was sent down that long hallway.It seemed to never end.Room after roomDoctor after Doctor,My heart raced fasteras each doctor passed bywhy couldnʼt they help,what had I done that was so awfulFinally one doctor came in whisperedTo my dad, I read his lipsIt told me everything.My heart started to race again.We hurried down yet another hallI needed surgery,It was the only way to save my lifeThey didnʼt even wait for my momSlowly I counted 100, 99, 98…I was groggy when I woke upMy surgery was overI knew it would be okMy family was there,Mom, dad and my sisters.Hoping and wishingI would make it through.There was a sigh of relief asI opened my hazel eyesEven though they only opened a crack.I had made it through thatDreaded room,the ER,to surgery.
Ice CreamKristel KlankYou taunt me from that half empty Ben and Jerryʼs carton.Ice melting off your cardboard sidesreminds me that Iʼve had enough,but when you whisper in that sweet, sultry tonedonʼt you just want one more bite?I always give in.Cookie dough,Reeseʼs cups,Brownie pieces—you own my self-control.And when I fmally set down the spoon,carton empty and bare,I know itʼs too late.I know Iʼve failed.You have won again.Another diet ruined.Another mile to run.Another pound to lose.You leave me feeling empty,just like the calories youʼre made of.PopEric GorenfloShe sits there, suspended under the frigidwater, turning into a block of ice. Only 16.“Please God, press rewind.”Her body lurches, and she plunges back upthrough the hole in the thin sheet of ice aboveher—back up into the bitter December air. Thewater droplets fall off her fur coat and Out ofher long hair—back into the hole in the lake,where shards of ice form back into a perfectfrozen pane. The water withdraws from herlungs, and her last breath works its way backin. She feels the dry pier drop itself firmlybeneath her designer boots. And again shestands there—on the edge—unthinking it all.Teardrops unfreeze and dribble back up hercheeks, into her tear ducts. Her legs begin torun backward, pulling her footprints back outof the snow—her shoes collecting them, stackingthem back onto the soles. She continuesaway from the pier, through the docks—thewind pulling the chill out of her cheeks. Herlegs rush her in reverse through the town—pastthe mall and the school and the liquor store.All the while, the frozen ground spits snowback up into the sky. Finally, she unruns upthe sidewalk and through the front door— pastthe family that never noticed her leave. All thewords she couldnʼt take any more soar out ofher ears and back behind the teeth of Motherand Father. Dropping the fur coat on the floor,she falls back into bed. Her head hits the pillow,and she unhears the breaking lamp. Slammingher eyes shut, she flinches back to sleepand begins to undream of a faraway place.The empty bottle sucks the anger back out ofFatherʼs mouth—out of his brain. Sitting therein his chair, he unbreaks the seal. Curled upon the couch in the basement, Mother uncries.Normal.Then all at once, it plays.Pop.The seal breaks—and soon after it, a lamp.She jumps out of bed and into a closed casket.Only 16. Her hands cross neatly inside herbox. Muffled sobs come from the outside. Hishand places the last white chrysanthemum ontop. Then words she never thought sheʼd hear.“Please God, press rewind.”Megan Sandbergafterglow 9