C O V E R S T O R YWhen the Twain Met:<strong>Winston</strong> <strong>Churchill</strong> and Samuel ClemensC H R I S T O P H E RS C H W A R ZAmid the endless accounts of noted personalitieswho crossed paths with <strong>Winston</strong> <strong>Churchill</strong>, oneof the best-known anecdotes involves his briefencounter with Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) at theWaldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City at the turn ofthe 20th century. In future years <strong>Churchill</strong> would fondlyremember Twain’s “noble air.” 1 The meeting was a bitmore contentious and uncomfortable than he later let on.Though they shared the same birthday, November 30th,their experiences over the previous year had much to dowith their initial uneasiness with each other.<strong>Churchill</strong>, the young war correspondent andsometime soldier, had risen to prominence in 1900, followinghis daring escape during the Boer War and subsequentelection to Parliament on the crest of his fame. Inan effort to secure his financial future and bankroll hispolitical career, <strong>Churchill</strong> toured England that autumn,and then took on a grueling speaking tour of NorthAmerica that would last into the new year.<strong>Winston</strong>’s mother, Lady Randolph <strong>Churchill</strong>,did her best to introduce him to the right people inAmerica. One, five years before, was her friend BourkeCockran; now in 1900, Jennie interceded again:She particularly enjoyed meeting visiting Americanauthors and repeated with glee a story about herfriend Mark Twain. At a London gathering he askedMrs. J. Comyns-Carr, “You are an American, aren’tyou?” Mrs. Carr explained that she was of Englishstock and had been brought up in Italy. “Ah, that’sit,” Twain answered. “It’s your complexity of backgroundthat makes you seem American. We arerather a mixture, of course. But I can pay you nohigher compliment than to mistake you for a countrymanof mine.” 2During his travels, the man who would becomethe quintessential Englishman of the 20th century met_______________________________________________Mr. Schwarz attended the 2006 <strong>Churchill</strong> Institute at Ashland University.He has taught history at Niles West High School, Skokie, Illinois,for twenty years, and designed the school’s semester-long course onWorld War II. His article on Italo Balbo, Mussolini’s second-incommand,appeared in Chicago magazine in August 2008.his American counterpart from the 19th. While Twainwas one of <strong>Churchill</strong>’s childhood heroes, the meetingwould not go as well as the starry-eyed young Briton hadhoped. When they met in 1900, their physical differencescould not have appeared more stark. Twain, in thewaning years of a nearly-five-decade writing career, possesseda universally recognized shock of white hair andwas quite possibly the most famous man on the planet.<strong>Churchill</strong>, just beginning a political career that wouldlast more than sixty years and win him global fame, wasmuch younger, with already thinning hair and a somewhatfrail appearance. One report described him as “avery fair man of the purely English type. His face denotesa highly strung temperament and the broad brow considerablemental capacity.” 3 He looked more like an ivorytower professor than a daring escape artist, soldier, frontlinewar correspondent and newly minted hero of theBritish Empire. Their differences, though, extended farbeyond appearance.At sixty-five, Twain was enjoying a resurgence ofcelebrity. He had just returned from a nine-year self-imposedexile in Europe, financially and emotionally fit andsecure in his reputation. The only thing that really irritatedhim was what he saw as the burgeoning empire ofthe United States. He was embarked on an anti-imperialistcrusade that would occupy the last ten years of his life.Nor would the foreign policy of his homeland be the solefocus of his vitriol: he was quite willing to lambaste otherimperialist nations as well.In the weeks leading up to the banquet he declared,“I am a Boxer!,” supporting the Chinese in theBoxer Rebellion, and expressed sympathy for SouthAfrican natives rather than Boers or Englishman embroiledin the war there. 4On December 9th, <strong>Churchill</strong> held a press conferenceat Everett House, New York City, and MarkTwain himself showed up to ask the questions. <strong>Churchill</strong>wasted no time in disarming his interlocutor:Twain: “It has been related that a Dutch maidenfell in love with you and assisted you to flee. You havesaid that it was the hand of Providence. Which is true?”FINEST HOUR 149 / 40
<strong>Churchill</strong>: “It is sometimes the same thing.”Twain: “How long do you think the war inSouth Africa will last?”<strong>Churchill</strong>: “The war is over now. The Boers arewhipped, but do not know it….Gradually, as the conflictingelements become reconciled, a system of autonomousgovernment must be introduced, until at last the coloniesbecome as independent of the British Crown as Canada.The Boer is a splendid fighter and the coolest man underfire I have ever seen. He is what you might call a ‘lowpressure’fighter. He never gets excited, and as long as hethinks he is going to win he will stay at his post.” 5Overwhelmed by the star power of the newly-returnedMark Twain, unfazed by his fierce antiimperialistrhetoric and probably coaxed byLady Randolph, the literati of New York invited him tointroduce the new hero of the British Empire at his firstspeech, four days later at the Waldorf Astoria. To some itmust have seemed like inviting William Jennings Bryanto introduce William McKinley.<strong>Churchill</strong>, just turned twenty-six, was a proudcitizen of the most powerful country in the world. Hehoped his visit to New York would be as exciting as hisfirst, five years earlier, on the eve of his coverage of theCuban rebellion against Spain. While he had reason tothink that his lectures would be well-received—he’d beena smash across Great Britain and was half-American bybirth—he appeared nervous as he waited to give his wellrehearsedspeech to the New York audience. Given theevents of the past few days, he had cause for worry.<strong>Churchill</strong> was aware that he did not have theunanimous support of the committee hosting his appearance.The New York Times had reported that antiimperialistson the committee openly opposed invitinghim. Some, including the mayor of New York and thepresident of Princeton University, went so far as to requestthat their names not appear in the program. When<strong>Churchill</strong>’s tour agent failed to remove their names itcaused a stir on the eve of the lecture. 6The possibility of a hostile reception must havecrossed his mind as he sat on the dais. And yet he wastouched by the presence of Twain, whose Tom Sawyerand Huckleberry Finn had enthralled him as a boy: >>FINEST HOUR 149 / 41