April 2010 - 12 Step Gazette

Volume Issue # 20 1 Issue 12 August April 2010 2009 Page Page 4 4yourself trying to appear fancier than usual. You arrive early, sitdown and the meeting begins. Then, you come to the sudden realizationthat you miss the personalities you collide with like atombombs on a daily basis! Even the ones you don’t like, you miss notliking them! After this odd occasion, you go home to sleep it off andthe next day find yourself back in the same familiar chair, relievedthat no matter what meeting you would have gone to, there’s no placeIf you think making different meetings one night a week in churchbasements is difficult, try recovering in a clubhouse to test whereyou are with your program. When I first arrived, I didn’t know if Iwas seen as new more by the literal definition or by my outlandishbehavior. By the time I reached my third coin, I had half the roomcheering me on to say whatever was on my mind and the other halfhoping I’d get a mating call from the other end of the Earth. ‘PrinciplesBefore Personalities’ wasn’t just a tradition I saw on a wall orheard at meetings; it soon became a power phrase I’d chant to myselflike a crazy person! Imagine walking into the same room filled withpersonalities I not only mingled with on Monday’s, but also Tuesday’s,Wednesday’s, Thursday’s, Friday’s and let’s not forget aboutthe weekends we spend together too! All that was missing was a halfdecent bed and I may have grabbed my toothbrush and just sleptthere!Of course, anyone that shares my experience with this particulartopic knows exactly what I am talking about! Even funnier, anyonethat can relate to what I’m saying gets to a point where they realizeit’s time to get brave and try to make another meeting outside theirclubhouse. So, you plan the occasion like a date with someone exceptthe date is with yourself. How romantic! You shower up and findlike home.I’m sure one day I’ll get brave again and slowly evolve outsidemy habitat. In the meantime, I have to say honestly, that where I recoverthere’s no comparison for the good I receive versus the personalitiesthat continuously challenge me. It’s where I feel proud towelcome the newcomer who seeks the safety of a home that’s alwaysopen to those with nothing better to do except get well and makemeetings from early in the morning until exhausted. I consider myselflucky compared to the rest of the world that doesn’t share thesame luxury I have worked so hard to complain about. I guess it’sjust the self-centered part of me that brought me to my knees to beginwith. Then again, at least I have a center to be myself in.To Place an AD or Calendar Listing Contact:215-317-8774 or 12StepGazette@comcast.net