1984 - Planet eBook

chess’. His soul writhed with boredom, but for once he hadhad no impulse to shirk his evening at the Centre. At thesight of the words I LOVE YOU the desire to stay alive hadwelled up in him, and the taking of minor risks suddenlyseemed stupid. It was not till twenty-three hours, when hewas home and in bed—in the darkness, where you were safeeven from the telescreen so long as you kept silent—that hewas able to think continuously.It was a physical problem that had to be solved: how toget in touch with the girl and arrange a meeting. He didnot consider any longer the possibility that she might belaying some kind of trap for him. He knew that it was notso, because of her unmistakable agitation when she handedhim the note. Obviously she had been frightened out of herwits, as well she might be. Nor did the idea of refusing heradvances even cross his mind. Only five nights ago he hadcontemplated smashing her skull in with a cobblestone, butthat was of no importance. He thought of her naked, youthfulbody, as he had seen it in his dream. He had imaginedher a fool like all the rest of them, her head stuffed with liesand hatred, her belly full of ice. A kind of fever seized him atthe thought that he might lose her, the white youthful bodymight slip away from him! What he feared more than anythingelse was that she would simply change her mind if hedid not get in touch with her quickly. But the physical difficultyof meeting was enormous. It was like trying to makea move at chess when you were already mated. Whicheverway you turned, the telescreen faced you. Actually, all thepossible ways of communicating with her had occurred to